I truly believe that the weight we are feeling from motherhood is because we live in this western isolated society. We are not meant to raise kids alone. In all history of humankind, and still in many other parts of the world, we have shared the responsibility with other adults, other women. Many cultures have the "40 first days" where the mother and baby get pampered with food and massages and other people are there to rock and hold and sing to the baby. We have totally healthy reactions to an unhealthy society.

I had 5 kids, they are all grown,I love them all but I am still parenting 34 years later. I am financially, physically spiritually and emotionally exhausted.....it never ends. It’s ok to choose to not have kids.........

There's a difference between "I don't like being a mom" And "I don't like my child" The dislikes need to learn the difference!

Why am I watching this I’m not a mom😂😂

I am bawling because for three years I truly thought something was wrong with me. Thank you so much for this. ♥️

You said the thing no one is supposed to say, but what we are all thinking. This video is dead accurate. Thank you.

I'm 4 months postpartum and literally yesterday I had a breakdown and looked at my partner and said, "I want my life back." Obviously, I love my daughter. I don't regret choosing to become a parent AND I'm sick of being home alone after 8pm every night while my partner works late. I miss having friends. I miss having alone time with my partner. I miss having time and energy for sex. I miss my body. I miss the time and freedom to workout and for self- care. I miss my confidence. I miss the way people related to me before I was a mom. I miss being able sleep in until 7:30am, yes thats sleeping in. I miss being able to work when I need to work - which in real estate, is like all the time while simultaneously I hate that I have to work instead of being able to just be with my daughter. I miss feeling like I'm on top of my shit. I miss the days when I could skip doing the dishes for a day but now the bottles must be cleaned daily. I could go on. We all could. If anyone says they love all things required to be a mom they are lying. This shit is hard and as much as I wanted this I have been rethinking my desire for a second child. I hear it gets easier, which I'm afraid will have me consider going through this hard early stage again. On another note, if you are reading this and not a mom yet but want to be one day... if you are in debt, get seriously motivated to get out of debt as fast as possible. Being a mom is stressful enough as it is - do yourself a favor and don't enter into parenthood with outstanding debts. If I didn't have debt I likely wouldn't be working in the same capacity that I am now. I will never get these moments back and I feel like I'm missing out on the best parts of being a mom while I struggle to stay on top of my work.

Thank God someone said it. I’m the one that tells my child free friends - “don’t let anyone tell you that you have to have children.”

You are so likable. Relatable but without being negative. Your energy is kind, light, and honest.

I wish more mothers would tell the truth

This is why I decided motherhood wasn’t for me. Thanks for your honesty x

I fully expected the title to be a clickbait. So happy it wasn't, this is such a wonderful video!

I have to say I am the one who loves being a mom and have always wanted to be. With that said I am glad you are able to say how you really feel. We need moms who support each other. We need both moms who enjoy it and those who don't so much. I wish we had more safe space to support other moms.

I think a lot of people put on a front and pretend motherhood is lovely and all giggles. You’re awesome for being so honest

I've been a mom for 12 years. In those 12 years the parties turn to acquaintances and acquaintances turn to no friends and the social isolation started and I'm about 4 years and it's complete social isolation and let me just tell you as a mom watching this thank you for saying that being a mom is so hard that you just dont like it. We sacrifice our whole selves to lose all of our relationships and our life suffers because of being a mom

I had 3 kids in 3 years and 4 months. I finished my PhD dissertation while pregnant with the second. The second child wouldn’t ever let me put her down without an ear piercing scream which made the oldest start howling. I call the first 4 years of motherhood the black years. I tried so hard to look like I was doing everything perfect for the benefit of society that I wasn’t putting quality energy into my kids. I was tired and anemic for YEARS. Now my kids are 16,15 and 13. They turned out great and I realize now, I’m just not a newborn, toddler person. I just don’t have the energy or patience for it. Now when I need sleep, I tell the kids to be quiet OR ELSE! Love it! It gets better! For those who think their teens are awful, I wonder if they were the ones trotting out their perfect newborns who never cried and slept through the night from the start. I was surrounded by those moms and felt like I was doing everything wrong. Now I KNOW I did everything the best I could under our circumstances. Far from perfect but they turned into great human beings.

Currently sitting trying to settle a fussy 6 week old at 7am, been up since 4.30 and also looking for hope. Thank you I needed this!

These videos are educational for new Dads as well. I’ve been loving your videos and learning lots from them. How to be a better parent. A better father. And a more supportive husband no matter if my wife loves being a mom or doesn’t like it sometimes. So thank you for posting these. 😊

I never liked the idea of becoming a mom, so i am the fun aunt and give them back by 8pm

This just came out of my mouth this morning. My husband looked at me. Thank you for helping me let him know I'm not alone.

Wow. Thank you for this. I’m having my first in January and while it was something I wanted for a while, I also very much value my independence. Having said that, I was a little worried that I would feel this way and I SO appreciate you being honest about this. I’m saving this video to look back on if I ever feel alone in motherhood. Sending you love. ❤️

"Of course I remember life before being a Mom" THANK YOU! AGREE so MUCH!

Thank you for validating all my reasons I’m not having kids. I don’t mean that in a mean way, I think moms are so cool and so important and I’m constantly in awe of moms. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but I doubt it. I just don’t think I have it in me to be a mom, and that’s okay too. But big props to those who can, I literally do not understand how you do it.

motherhood def was a hard transition for me also. The first months were so rough, sleep deprivation, clusterfeeding on my boob, waking up in the night every hour, having to walk AND nurse her to sleep on my boob, no nap consistencies, short naps or no naps... But then it gradually got better, and then she becomes more of a person and now she is consistent in napping and sleeping. And I still dont love being a mom, but I love her and do my best for her every day. i do love it sometimes but other times its just hard having this huge responsibility 24/7 and being all day with a baby you have to entertain for hours.

I deliver my daughter in 13 days... I’ve always wanted to be pregnant. I’ve dreamed of it since I was 18. I’m currently 27. I think I’ll love motherhood. Pregnancy on the other hand has been absolutely miserable and I don’t ever want to do it again. I know people will say (and they do) “oh as soon as baby comes out you’ll want to do it again.” Yeah no I don’t like being miserable and suffering within my own body. It’s not very fun.

I am almost 70. My first childcwas very sick and i was exausted. Had so much anger at my situation. My husband did not help. Things got better but wuth my lastvone told i will not have thus child unless you help me. Hon it does get better. My oldest died this past christmas at home. I miss him so much but it was soooo hard to get through thise years.i still feel guilt that i was not always a good mom. Love all three of my kids but being mom was not fun at all when they were little. I dudnot feel like a person but just a machine. My oldest was such a insprion to others and loved me even when i was so lacking.thought i was the inly one that felt this way.he never slept as a baby. 2 hour cat naps and awake fir 2 hrs.but god got me thriugh it

I love my daughter but being a mom is exhausting and sometimes awful

I love this... The women who never wanted to have a baby but ended up pregnant usually seemed more justified in saying this, but as a girl that always wanted babies since I was a toddler myself, throughout middle school, high school, and even college for some reason I idolized the idea of having babies and having a family. Once I gave birth to my daughter EVERYONE was saying “you got what you wanted” “you must be so happy” etc. and I just kept saying No. I am an independent person. I like to do things for myself and don’t really like relying on anybody. And babies are something that just CANNOT be done solo. Whether a significant other, mom, or friend you have to have someone help you in some way. To hold her so you can pee, or bring you food because you can’t leave, or watch her so you can work. I just hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing everyone for my decision, but there is no other way 😣Even during my pregnancy most women say they can’t wait to have the baby or their pregnancy was so long but I felt it was extremely short and kept saying she can stay in there. I just knew my freedom was out the door the moment she came, and dreaded that doctors wanted me to have her two weeks early, whereas most people are happy about meeting their little one earlier. I just can’t believe I feel like this when I have been thinking about it almost every day for as long as I can remember. Was I mislead? Was I misinformed? I feel so bad to feel this way, and when I complain my partner loves to tease that “you asked for this” “remember, you’ve been waiting your whole life for this” 🙄 It’s so hard 😭 My daughter is 5 weeks. I’m just crossing my fingers that this will be a little better in a few months when she’s more self-efficient .🤞🏽I hope I can eventually love my body again- it’s the things no one even told me would change that bother me the most.😫 & I had no cravings during pregnancy, but are postpartum cravings a thing? 🤨 I eat soo much chocolate now. My whole experience just seems opposite of what I was expecting or was told about. 😰 Anyway, thanks for prompting me to rant and get that off my chest 😆 Great video as always ❤️ Sending ‘Mommy Love’ your way!

I needed this I have a 9 week old baby as well, and I'm so exhausted, and emotional,and hungry all the time because of breast feeding, and I have been feeling a bit alone, but seeing this I feel more normal and not so alone and bad.

I’m a new mom as of two weeks ago and I am feeling this so hard right now! I love how positive your videos are but also how honest they are. They truly make me feel like I’m not alone and I can’t thank you enough for that!

I’m only 6 weeks pregnant at 36. And I’m scared that I won’t like being a mom too...especially because up until now, I always felt that I didn’t want kids. All of that changed the moment I became pregnant! This pregnancy is both a miracle and a blessing and I’m terrified that something will happen to my lil’ bean. Trying to take it day by day and doing the best I can to be healthy, take care of myself and bring this baby to full term! I’m glad I found this channel.

I started looking up "I cant handle having a puppy" and "I regret getting a puppy". I cant even image a human, you are amazing.

I was just like this when i had muy first child. I felt drowning and that i didnt have an identity. now my son is 6 and my daughter is 4 and i enjoy motherhood soo much!! it will get better. babies are not easy

I couldn’t handle being up all night I start to see things when I don’t get 8 hours

I decided to never have kids because it's a huge commitment and you can never quit this job ever. I just knew I didn't have the temperament. Women need to realize that motherhood is hard and can be very lonely. I saw my friends struggle. It takes a certain fortitude. Hats off to you for being honest. Motherhood is not a Hallmark card.

Thank you for your honesty. I felt like this for years and my daughter is almost 4. I pursued all my degrees and wanted to be a successfully career woman, but I became a single mom. I did finish graduate school, but these jobs are merciless when your kid gets sick and you have to leave work to go get them. I’m always tired and unmotivated. I thought I was the only one going through this.

Oh Jess, you are so precious. We need you in this world.

Thank you so much. Exactly how I am feeling. And yes, I feel crazy sometimes for feeling this way, but I'm happy I'm not alone.

You’re like a Disney princess in casual clothes.

I don't know why this got in my recommended but considering I can barely take care of myself, I will always be childless. I made this decision when I entered high school and the thought still hasn't changed 15 years later. I'm so glad I'm still not a mother.

I feel the same, my daughter is 7 weeks old. Honestly, i didnt feel i could share these feelings with anyone because it seems all the other moms feel the opposite.

For every new mother who feels exhausted and overwhelmed, don't worry, it will get easier. My boy is now a bit over four months and yes, it's still a lot of work, but the nights are better already and those first crazy weeks already seem to be so far in the past. You've got this. 💚

Honestly, my highest level of RESPECT and admiration goes out to all of you Moms:-)......I am child-free by choice ONLY BECAUSE I had to babysit once for a college roommate of mine once while she went on a "date night" w/Baby Daddy and I nearly blew my head off after about 6 hours of babysitting. The fact that you literally "give up your life" to care for another life was just too "consuming" for me. I honestly do not know how Moms out there are pulling this off so for sure you guys must be AWESOMELY GIFTED and SPECTACULAR! women:-) Thank you for making this enlightening video:-)

I’m so scared. I am worried I’ll regret it if I have kids and I’m scared to have kids. It‘s invasive, it could kill me, and I will be tired trying to raise a human - it terrifies me.

I needed this. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 girls, and due with my 4th daughter in November. It’s so hard and so beautiful all at once.

This was PERFECT timing. I've always thought I wanted 10 kids, but going on 3 weeks into motherhood, I'm DYING. It's always great to have that reminder that motherhood isn't easy, but it's worthwhile. My new mantra as I go into the next night of very little sleep

Gawd this is so true, I had my first daughter at 16!!! It happened I sucked it up decided that if i was old enough to be active that i was old enough to handle motherhood. I am now 25 with 3 girls spaced 5 years apart and happily married. I'm finishing up a college degree with a 8 month old with a pandemic+homeschooling and I'm just on the edge. Thank you for staying positive throughout the whole video, I needed to hear everything.

Motherhood requires making a lot of sacrifices and makes you wake up early. It involves doing a lot of things we don't want to do. The truth is it takes a lot out of a person, emotionally, mentally and physically! That being said, the love a mother feels for their children is almost overwhelming sometimes and the children are an infinite amount of joy and love.

Yeah this is why I will never be a mother. So glad you're honest

I'm due in 9 weeks. And this has been a fear that had kept me up at night! I've fretted over the fact of, "What if I can't handle it? What if I don't like it and I wasn't ready?" This helps and will help me in the future to know that if I feel this way I'm not alone!! 💙💙💙 thank you for everything you do

I cried so many times to this video. I so needed this message. I feel everything she's felt and I'm so glad I'm not alone.

Sometimes I think "I wish I didn't have kids" so I could do all the fun stuff but then I remember I didn't do those things before kids and now I only have a couple friends and they have kids so there's no pressure to do things that aren't kid friendly. I have always wanted to have kids, even if just adopted but I will say it is so much harder than I expected.

I never wanted to be a Mom. I actually despised the idea. I met my partner and I kinda went "baby crazy" and now I'm 32 weeks pregnant. Thank you for this video. I've been very worried about having depression after giving birth.

I cannot thank you ENOUGH for this. Currently 25yo, due in January, and was told I’d never get pregnant. Surprise surprise, we got pregnant in April! We are so thankful for the opportunity and that it was even possible as we let go of that dream years ago, but we also grieved and moved on and made new goals. I’m struggling with feelings bad for feeling the same. I am sure I will LOVE my child, but I don’t have a heart for motherhood, all the mommy things and events, the tiredness, etc. I love our life as just us two, and we are so thankful to have gotten pregnant and we are excited, but it is also going to be a huge adjustment and I will probably grieve our old life a little bit too and thats okay.

I so needed this video. Right now I am 8 months pregnant and nanny a 4 month old and a two year old, and some days it is so so hard to enjoy or let alone get excited about having my own kids. This seriously helped me so much.

I’m 3 weeks away from being a first time mom and this came to me just when I needed it, now my heart feels a little more at ease❤️ thank you so much for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable so new moms like me don’t feel so alone!

Thanks so much for making this. It’s not something most women talk about but it’s something that many of us feel and feel guilty about it. It’s good to know you’re not alone.

Im 34, pregnant with my first child. I waited on purpose later in my life to have a child because i always knew I would love my kid but not love been a mom. I know i will not enjoy the job often lol I think there's nothing wrong with that. Thanks for your honesty xo

Omg! I literally just told my husband last night “I don’t wana take care of our baby anymore and I don’t wana be a mom” 🤦🏽‍♀️ I was so serious at the time but then I felt SO bad! I just started my a channel and I think I want to make a video like this 😬. Mine will probably not be as funny 😂 but I feel like I need to because I love my baby but I HATE being a mom! 😒

Thank you for this. I'm a new mum and I've been going through bad anxiety / depression. Just starting to seek help. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others. I feel less alone now! And I will remember the 10 awesome things 😍 much love xx

I’m not a mom yet and don’t plan too be one anytime soon, but I absolutely love your channel and the message you send❤️ thanks for willing to be so vulnerable to us and sharing your faith! “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” I pray God keeps shinning His light through you(:

You are so cute, so many women feel like this but are afraid to admit it for fear of judgement...hats off to you for your honesty!

Love when people are real like this and are brave enough to talk about "taboo" subjects

I don’t think you understand how important your type of content is in today’s world. The honesty and transparency you offer has got to be so comforting to vulnerable soon-to-be-moms who are only surrounded by social media influencer moms. I’ve seen a few videos of yours and the pure honesty and authenticity is such a special gift to the world.

Wow, I just made up my mind that I would like nothing more than to be a mom and then I see this video on my feed. I still long for the experience. Thanks for sharing! 🌻

I needed this. Watched with my 7 week old strapped to me in a carrier cause I can’t put him down. I constantly feel guilt that I’m not making the most of every moment and wishing he was older. It’s just so.dam.hard. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way and it’s refreshing to hear I’m not alone. Thank you 💕

I am soooooooo glaaaaaaaaaaaaad I stumbled upon this video. I feel so distressed when I feel this, or think this.. this is comforting knowing I’m not alone.. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this, and I could find few blogs or vlogs talking about this... thank you for sharing. We do need each other. We are not all the same.

I’ve only been a mom for two weeks and you said exactly what I was thinking but too afraid to say out loud. Thank you so much. 😭❤️

This feels so affirming. Thanks, Jess💗💗

Thank you so much for this. I have a 10 week old and it’s been hard. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but now that I am one I’ve found myself not liking it. I feel really guilty about having these feelings but knowing that there are other moms out there that feel the same way makes me feel a little better especially hearing the things that makes being a mom worth it. So thank you !

I am literally in tears for hearing this , feels amazing to hear someone else going through the same thing as me

I needed this video - I needed someone to say out loud what I have been afraid to feel. I am excited and terrified to become a mom because I am scared I wont' love it - or be good at it. I appreciate you; we appreciate you. Thank you

Currently 13 weeks and I'm not filled with joy thinking about my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong we tried for 2 years and I even had a chemical pregnancy before. But all i feel this time is fear and I just want to get over with the being pregnant part. And I'm not even sure when the baby finally is born healthy, if I'm able to feel that joy and happiness that I wish to feel now. When you showed your daughter asking you how your day was, I bursted out into tears because I thought about this little thing inside my belly maybe will talk to me one day 😭😭

I am a 39 year old mother of 4 kiddos. 14,12 special needs, 7, 2. I loved being a mom and then my fourth was a complete surprise and broke me. I was physically and emotionally done having children. I cried straight for months after I found out. I was just completely drained and exhausted. I couldn’t imagine starting over. Then he came and I loved him the minute I seen him. Pure perfection. Yes I do have my moments where I feel broken and I just want to run as far away as I can get. I’m dealing with a toddler and at the same time a moody teenager. Ohhhh boy. Then handling my special needs son and then my daughter who feels she’s not getting enough attention. There are days I cry alone and then days I just stare at them with love and amazement. Being a mom is hard really hard but I do love my kids. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s ok some days to not like being a mom. Thanks for sharing. You said everything we are all feeling. Much love.

Thank you for your honesty! I'm pregnant and it irritates me to hear people say, "You will not remember how your life was before you had your child" in such a positive way. I am very happy to be pregnant and want to be a mother, but I know that postpartum depression is a very real thing and I want to prepare myself to cope with my own emotions realistically. I appreciate how you seemed to acknowledge a perfectly acceptable gray area in parenting-- you can dislike parts of motherhood AND be a good mother at the same time.

I'm pregnant with my first baby and I am terrified. This helps me understand that there's ups and downs. I appreciate how you explain how hard but wonderful and rewarding motherhood can be. This made my day. Thank you.

I've got 2 babies, a 2 year old and a newborn, I feel the same, I'm going through ppd and as a single mother, with no car, no job, living with my parents out of an abusive relationship, I'm just in pain, I'm tired, I want to give my toddler more attention. Just thank you so much for this I've cried for hours every night until my eyes swell up im crying now just realizing my mom will be home to help this weekend ❤❤❤

I respect you for saying what you think. My babygirl is one year old and.. I really DO love it? I mean of course I would like to sleep more, but waking up every day to that smiley face makes my mornings so much better than back in the day without her when I DID sleep through the night. And being on this mom timer because of bottles, diapers etc.. it made me a better person! I was soo unorganized and umotivated before and if babygirl was not there to keep me on my feet I would not value my free hours half as much as I do now! I am now actually using my time to create things. But I still get why other moms feel the way you do. I appreciate your honesty.

I’m only 19 and just found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. Father is not in the picture. I never imagined myself having children and now I am. I’m so scared bc I haven’t even lived my life and I feel like my fun years are getting ripped from my hands.

Gosh, you’re wonderful. My partner and I are so excited to have kids together, but I’ve also been really open about my absolute terror of what motherhood can bring. I’m worried of losing myself and feeling really isolated. Some days I feel ready, some days i want to wait ten years. It’s amazing hearing you be so open and lovely about this. Thank you so much.

I thought I wanted three and then it was two and now I’m happy with my one. I love my son he’s two and a half but I loved my independence as well and being a mom isn’t for everyone. I think i was made to be a momma of one ☝️

i dont even have a kid but im 21 and my mom is my best friend. i hope she had someone to tell her these things.

Oh my gosh! I needed this! I literally said these exact phrases to my husband yesterday and I felt like the worst person for feeling this way. Thank you for making me feel like it’s ok to not transition into this new lifestyle as the world expects us to 💗

I needed this video so much. I don’t have my “village” from my family and don’t get very many breaks so to speak and I have to remember how strong I am. Us moms are incredible even when we couldn’t feel farther from it. Making mom friends has been a life saver. It’s so good to know you aren’t alone. Being a care taker is hard when you don’t feel cared about too. I had really bad postpartum depression and didn’t want to be alive so I’m proud of myself for waking up everyday and taking good care of my son. ❤️

Thank you so much! I have a 4 week old and it’s been so hard this made me feel so much better and like I’m not alone!

This was really validating, thank you! We can both not like it and love it at the same time.

finally a video on internet that is not about "how bad this is" or "what you need to have/do". Lot's of positive. Thank you!

Oh my gosh THANK YOU. You put into words what so many of us are feeling. I don’t think any of us genuinely like being so tired that you can barely stay standing long enough to do your dishes for the 3rd time in one day or being a garbage can for everyone else’s emotions and frustrations. Hats off to all single parents, I don’t know how they function without a supportive spouse.

I am 30 weeks pregnant today and I’m honestly hating my pregnancy, this was something I needed to hear that genuinely makes things so much easier and worth it. ❤️

This was just so beautiful and perfect! Thanks

Good for you!!! I wish I'd heard this when I had my kids long ago.. I felt so guilty about all of what you're talking about and hearing this would have made BIG difference.. Keep it up....you're doing a lot of good!!

I’m a new mom and I NEEDED to hear this. Thank you sooooo much

My baby is 3 weeks(my first) and Omg I relate to this so so well thank you for posting this!!! It’s funny I was listening to Elton John’s Rocketman a couple days ago and it brought me to tears because I totally resonate with the message, I feel like I’m on a different planet and I’ve left my life behind! And it’s really hard to explain this feeling to people that don’t understand it because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or I’m not feeling the way I should be feeling. But it’s so common to have these emotionsAnd my heart goes out to all the women who are experiencing it, we have to stick together ladies! Support is absolutely everything during this period!

I’m 22 and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we’ve known we’ve wanted kids and my baby was semi planned. I got off birth control and we just kind of let it happen. I was still shocked and terrified when it happened but, we’re so excited. it’s so hard being the first friend in the group having a baby. I feel so left out of things sometimes.this really helped hearing this because I thought I was a bad mom for thinking this.

I really really needed this... It's hard to always wanted to be a mom then you become one and your just sooo overwhelmed

This is so good and so real. The validation of not having to love being a mom while still Loving your kids is so great. Thank you!

This came right when I needed it. I had my baby girl 4 weeks ago and it’s so exhausting and I’m in such a dark place. This helps so much

Oh my stars, woman. I truly cannot express how much I needed this...in my life. I'm not crying. You're crying. lol. Stop cutting onions in here. You're a treasure. You're a gem. You're the bee's knees. Thank you

Wow... this video is so spot on! I've said the same thing to my husband... that I don't love being a mom, but I adore my daughter, and I'm thankful to be HER mom. It's so great to get this message out there.

Never ever wanted kids n at 41 I just found out I’m pregnant. I truly am terrified, absolutely believe I’m going to HATE being a mom, I’m a selfish person that dreads giving up my life for this child. This video is EXACTLY what I desperately needed to see right now! I can’t explain the gigantic weight I felt lift off of me. I know you’ll probably never see this comment but THANK YOU so much for your honesty n making me feel like I’m not alone. Your list of reasons for motherhood being awesome has really changed how I’m feeling n now I’m almost looking forward to this new journey 💜