Wondering if having a baby is right for you? Use these quick links to catch the highlights: 1:25 - Exactly how Marie knew she didn’t want biological kids of her own. 2:13 - Sound familiar? All the ways others will tell you to have kids. 3:28 - The message every. single. woman. needs to hear. 4:12 - Marie’s best advice for anyone wondering, “Should I have kids?” What’s next? Watch this playlist for more nuggets of wisdom: kzfaq.info/sun/PLAxUz0wM51b-f5hvOrlDdcHlUR-d0JcfF

My thinking is I would rather regret never having had kids than having kids and regretting it. I don't want to mess with another human being like that.

As a mother of two kids I've always known I wanted, it really burns me up when women feel pressure to have children. The kindest thing you can do for yourself and the world is to be honest about what you really want, then go for it. Always remember that this is the only life you have. People have lots of advice, but no one will be around to take the consequences for you, so make your own decision.

I'm 31 no kids and very single. People are actually mad that I'm happy with my life. Lol I may have children in the future but it will be my decision and nobody can force me into that phase of life. I'm tired of people telling me that my clock is ticking.

There’s nothing wrong with having kids and there’s nothing wrong with choosing NOT to have kids. I’ve never regretted deciding to live child free:)

I'm not sure if I want kids or not. I would like to have someone to whom I can teach and see grow... but at the same time, I would like to continue my life as it is; waking up at the time I want, having time to myself, enjoy quietness....

I battle this topic in my head everyday

It's sad that men aren't asked this question, when in fact having kids is not just a women's responsibility or job - it's a combined decision/choice from both the man and woman plus an equal responsibility.

34 without kids. My mom was having kids at my age and I feel like with the economy and coronavirus...I just feel like hunkering down and focusing on art. Don’t judge me 🙃

I am a mother of two and just because I made the choice to have children, I would NEVER shame another woman for choosing to do otherwise. Being a parent takes a lot of emotional, mental, physical and financial commitment and I admire someone who knows that they are not willing to make that commitment and consciously decides not to. It's not my place to decide what is right for another person. Thank you for making this video, it resonates with me as a woman who supports other women.

When I was 32, in 1998, I left a ‘safe’ career that I had studied for etc., to become a yoga teacher. It was pretty far off the grid back then, but I knew it was a better life for me. Most people around me were unable to understand what I was doing, but I got a new circle of friends and lived my truth. 20 years on I’m moving in a new direction, and following my current truth. The people who don’t support you are speaking from their own fears. Just keep going where you know you should each day. 🙏🏻

I’m also 32 years old and wrestle with the decision. But here’s how I “deal” with it! I get very present and ask myself: do i want kids right now? The answer is a clear “no.” I know by the way I feel. So if and when the time is right, I’ll know. For now, I take the facts (and feeling) at hand to make my best decision possible!

I have children (used to not want them but changed my mind) and I would NEVER shame a woman for her decision not to have children or assume she will change her mind like I did. I don’t even bring up children at all or ask any questions of my child-free friends (which is all my friend. I don’t know any other parents.). I will say, I wish that people showed me the same respect. I have had people tell me (without me asking) that they don’t want kids because it’s wrong to bring children into this environment, economy, etc. That’s essentially telling me that my decision is wrong. It’s very hurtful. People who experience pressure to have kids assume that once you have the kids the pressure is off. But it’s only the beginning. Mothers are pressured even more after they have the kids to parent a certain way. I wish we could all just support each other. The subtle bias against mothers in my generation (I’m under 30) is pervasive. If I walk into a restaurant people roll their eyes at my 3 young kids. I’m expected to endure all kinds of advice from people who don’t have kids or even listen to their theories of how there should be a test in order to be allowed to reproduce. I know that historically child-free women have really gotten the short-end of the stick. But these days you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Once you have kids there’s not some special club of normality. In fact, it feels more isolating than ever. Let’s all support each other’s decisions, ladies! I will continue to praise any choice another woman makes about her life and her body.

I'm 37 and always assumed I'd have kids by 30 but it just hasn't happened yet mainly because none of my relationships have been with men I'd ultimately want to have kids with. I've heard all the typical comments and they've definitely made me panic and question my life decisions. But you know what, having children shouldn't be a forced thing. It'll happen if it's meant to be and if it doesn't then I'll have a fabulous independent life regardless :)

I was pressured by my mother to have kids and I never did. As the years passed some of my family members got divorced, kids had problems, financial problems and one by one they almost all ended up worse off than I did. I bought my property and paid off my mortgage, have zero debt, never got married so I've never been taken to the cleaners by way of divorce. I'm now almost 50 and I absolutely do not feel any regret for not having kids. As for my mother, after seeing how every one else ended up- she finally told me that I did the right thing and made the right decision as I avoided all the bs everyone else encountered. Just remember that life is short and children are people that you choose to bring into this world without their consent. Yet you have the responsibility of providing their food, shelter, deal with their sickness, education and every problem they create. It is not a decision that you should take lightly. You have to sacrifice your spare time, money and life in general. It lasts for the rest of your life. My attitude is that I chose to give the job of parenting to someone else. If you want that job, that responsibility, that most important act, the act of creating a person than do it. If you have found a good reason to bring this person into existence so that they can experience life and all it comes with, such as going to school, religion, politics,sickness, keeping up with paying bills, and the whole nine yards, finally having a job for 40 years, hardship, stress, anxiety, fear, worry, harassment that we all experience in one form or another and the eventual death that we all come to when we run out of time and our number comes up. Than by all means have a child, not one have at least 3 or more.

High Five girlfriend. My biological clock never ticked or tocked for me. At 40, I am happy to be child free. I was lucky enough to have amazing women in my life who weren't related to me, who mothered me and guided me and these experiences have led me to want to foster children more than anything. xx from Montreal

I ADMIRE women that make these decision to not “follow the norm” and NOT have kids...I wish I would have been strong enough to make that decision.

The story of my life! I'm 34 and happily married. I've always worked and been very independent, travelled, enjoyed every stage of my life to the fullest. I never had the desire to have kids. In my 20s I thought it was normal because I was too young. I always thought my maternal instinct would kick in eventually. Here we are 34 and kinda getting to the point were decisions must be made. My hubby doesn't worry about it, either way. As a woman I really feel the pressure to have kids. My fear is that I'll regret it if I do and if I don't. I really need to listen to my heart. Thank you Marie.

THANK YOU for doing this episode! As a 30-year-old woman who has never wanted kids and is sick of everyone telling me I do (🧐), I appreciate this.

I'd like to see myself, in 25 or 30 years, with one or two adult children who come home for dinner every once in a while and invite me to be a part of their lives. I just don't wanna spend the next 20 - 25 years helping someone become an adult, wiping their noses, being responsible for a whole other person. Being responsible for myself and my marriage feels more than enough. I'm 33. I'm still wondering what I should do.

I struggled with this issue in my late 30s. I’m 42 now, but when I was 36, I fell in love with a wonderful man. Sadly, it didn’t work out. I struggled for years thinking there was something wrong with me because I didn’t have the life my friends and family had - married with children (and a dog!). However, unlike my friends, I was always drawn to travel, introspection, freedom, spirituality and personal development. Plus, I also struggled with a lot of internal rage and resentment towards my dad for his abuse. I never felt the “urge” to want a family of my own until I met this man. However, I wasn’t being completely honest with myself - my desire to be with this guy and have this dream life of being happily married with children (or a child) was motivated by fear of limited time and fear that my choice would be taken away from me in a few years if I didn’t make this happen now. The relationship I was in was meant to end (there were other issues I was blind to). I wish more women like Marie were candid about this subject. Watching this video gives me relief and has helped me make sense of some of the internal conflict I’ve had. Also, I wish people would mind their own business instead of espousing their own fears. Thank you, Marie for being true to yourself and being such an inspiration to me and so many women.

I'm 30 with one beautiful son and im sooo done and not having anymore!! Unless you really really feel like you "need" one don't go there. I can't explain how hard it is.

“You’re gonna die alone” was what hit it hard for me. I need to get over that fear.

I'm on the same path. I've never wanted to be a mom. The amount of harrassing pressure from strangers, coworkers and family has been ridiculous. Coworkers started yelling at me when they over heard a conversation about my life choice. The choice to not be a mother was easy, handling the outside harassment and condescending attitude is irritating.

Being a 29 year old woman here, I never once wanted children of my own, mostly due to fear of raising one without the ability to give them all the love and needs I would want to give. I found out I was adopted, after my adopted father walked out the door on my mom one night. They divorced a week later. I was seven or eight at the time, I begged them to get back together, deep down I knew it wasn't a possibility. As I grew older, I knew SO many people who either divorced, or were children of divorce, the kids usually were negatively affected; befriending people whose parents divorced gave me a way to relate to them and understand how they felt, that it happens often. There are also so many kids who are orphans or in foster care, luckily my birthmother gave me up to parents who care for me. Ironically they divorced and my father killed himself when I was 21. So, all that kindof fucked up my perception on having children. Currently, I am with my boyfriend, he has twin daughters. We also have 3 cats. I am a stepmother in a sense, and it is fulfilling to watch them become young adolescents, 13 years old. They come to me for advice sometimes, and twins are fascinating to me, very unique bond that they share. It is rewarding to know they can look up to me, and call me their second mom, I do all I can to get what they need and make sure they are happy. This is as close to having children I will ever get.

I'm turning 26 and I've broke the news that I don't want goobers. Of course I get the comments about being young and changing my mind later (eff that) 🙄. Children are a personal choice and one day I took a look around at my circumstances and my goals and realized that it wasn't for me. 1. Not having a strong familial support system. It truly takes a village. 2. Wanting to travel (live in various places) and build my own company. 3. Responsibility only to myself. Largely financial. 4. I'd rather mentor kids than raise them. 5. I'm a dope auntie.

I'm 66 years old. I don't have any biological children, and I'm quite content with that. Always have been. As I wended my way through life, I just never hit a cross road where I felt I had to make a choice one way or another. I was fine working my way up the ladder in my career. At 33, I married. Before doing so, I asked my future husband whether he wanted to have kids, and he said definitely not. He already had three kids, and he didn't want more (been there, done that). I was only slightly disappointed (more attracted to the fantasy of it than anything else). But I never felt compelled to have kids, and his answer was enough to seal the deal. (I would never have gone ahead and married him and then tried to change his mind; I already knew that was a stupid thing to do and a lousy way to start a marriage.) My three step-kids lived out of state and just came to visit on some school holidays for a week or two, so we didn't really parent them. I'm on good terms with all three of them. We're scattered all over the country, and they've all made me a grandma (and even a great grandma), so we don't get a chance to see each other much. Their dad and I eventually divorced (all three were adults by that time), and I didn't hear much from them. Then we all gathered at his funeral and actually began to keep in closer touch after that. I don't expect them to feel a responsibility to look after me as I age. If they want to, that's great, but I never really think about that. I have a younger brother and two young nieces. I don't expect them to take care of me, either. I do have friends--some of whom are ten to fifteen years younger than I am, and they've said they want to keep an eye on me when I get older. But I'm in great health, still active professionally, and VERY independent. I enjoy my own company and am never bored or particularly lonely. Life is good. If I were to offer advice to someone wondering whether they should or should not have kids, I would say that if you don't feel a strong desire to have kids, then you probably shouldn't have them. Parenting is a full-time 24-7 stressful job even under the best of circumstances. It can't be done casually; as my ex-husband said, "Your whole life changes."

39, married for 10 years and still going strong. No kids by choice. :)

I've been struggeling with this for my entire life. I never wanted kids and everyone keeps telling me that the feeling "will come soon" and that it's just my age. One time, someone even asked me "what was wrong with me" because I chose not to have kids. I'm happy that I have amazing parents who support me no matter what, but seeing my friends get married and have children is difficult, since I don't want the same thing. Sometimes, it's even hard to relate to them because of this. Wanting to have kids should be something you have to want 100%. Seeing this episode makes me realize that not having kids is okay too. Thank you!

So timely! I’m 33 married and do not want kids. I am an editorial photographer, food blogger and KZfaqr. I’m so darn busy. The older I get the more certain I am. Adding kids to my life would derail my hobbies and interests and that would make me extremely unhappy and bitter which is not fair to a child. I’m not looking to add more responsibility to my life. I’m looking for more time to continue pursuing my career and traveling with my husband. Marie nailed it. My advice for Talia is to stick to your gut. You sound like you are very self aware which is great. Stick to that and do what you feel is best for your life. You can lead a very happy life without kids! 😀

For me, It was quitting my big corporate big money job to be a entrepreneur and make my vision a reality. Everybody was telling me that I was irresponsable. I did it anyway but I did it wisely. I reduce massively my monthly fees. Sold my house. Went back to a tiny apartment and have a bridge job. It’s been 10 years now, and I never regret it. In fact, I love so much what I do, I say I stop working 10 years ago.

Seriously the story of my life right now lol No one thinks I know what I want for myself and try to lead with this fear of not having offspring if I choose that I don't want to. I appreciate this episode because in my ten year plan, there has never been kids in my plan.

Greetings from Germany! Thank you for this amazing answers. I‘m 34 years old, happily married and childfree. Since 2 years I feel totaly stressed and like an Alien because people asking me Why I haven‘t kids...these questions were batteling me every day. Now I made up my mind that its totaly ok to be childfree and still be a normal and lovely person and woman. I also see a caoch with whom i work on this subject and after every lesson i feel more comfortable with my opinion. To every woman who feels the same way: be brave to listen to your inner voice. It‘s ok to be and act different than most women in society do🙌🏼

Turning 33 in October. Married last September and this is so timely as I feel sooo stressed out wondering why I STILL do not know if I want to have kids. Some people choose not to because they generally don't like kids but I love kids and it's just confusing why I don't have a desire to have my own. Anyone feel the same?

Hi Marie! Huh! Yup! This gets me in the gut so often. My grandmother basically told me that I’m not a woman if I don’t have a child. Oh and the best part, is that I don’t need a man to have one... like what the Royal F!?!?!? I’m the only one in control of my life choices. Period. The end. Thank you for this episode. Xo 😘

I think visualization is so important. When i see my life down the road i see myself surrounded by 6 kids. Lots of them. I see myself being a stay at home mom and wife and making my children my priority. I realize now that I don't want to be the career driven woman that I've told myself i have to be. I want to be a mom and raise my babies to be the best, happiest versions of themselves.

Thank you very much for this. Let me just say that as a man this is very difficult too. Because I’ve known for a while that I don’t want kids, yet people constantly say those same kind of things to me. And it’s difficult finding a girl to be with who also doesn’t want children or is at least open to the idea of not having them.

When people pressure me to have a kid, I always ask them how much money they plan on contributing to the child's care and when they plan on babysitting so I can get some time for myself. Oh, they aren't planning on those things? Well then they can shut right up. Remember if you have a kid, the kid is your responsibility and at the end of the day everyone can walk away from you and you will have to raise that child by yourself. I am split on having kids. I like kids but the level of responsibility it entails scares me. I do think I would get support from my family but another thing that scares me is waiting so long that when I do decide to have a kid, my parents are then too old to help me with the child and need care themselves.

I am 20 and have been gradually realizing I don't want kids. If anything, I want to adopt or foster in my 40's or 50's. I am a Christian and I have so much else I feel called to - the medical field, the mission field, grad school... I wouldn't want my kids to be loved/poured into less because of those things, nor would I want to give them up and resent my kids for that. The heartbreaking thing is I may have to end a happy relationship over this. My boyfriend very much wants to be a dad.

I’ve never been into dating. I’ve had a few short relationships, but it has definitely caused concern from my family and friends. They think there must be something wrong or that I’m secretly deeply hurt haha. I just have things I’m working on in my life and I don’t want to date for the sake of dating (it takes a lot of time, energy, and work imo). I figure when I want to be with someone I’ll know and then I’ll put time and energy into it. Until then, I’m focused on my goals and myself 🙌

No kids for me. Anyone telling me I’ll change my mind or should have kids, that’s their issue for thinking they have a right to tell me what is right for me. I don’t care what anyone says, I follow my intuition. Are they going to birth, raise, pay for, etc. these kids I should have? Centuries of people telling women who to be and what to do have taken a toll and it’s time to stop.

Amen! I knew I wasn’t going to have kids by my late 20’s. As a survivor of childhood sexual and emotional abuse I had a lot of healing to do and I knew I did not want to pass on this abuse on. I wanted it to end with me.

Marie. Thank you for sharing this! I 100% feel the same way about allowing intuition to guide my life and at 35 have never felt any sort of desire to have a baby. It is so refreshing to hear from others who feel the same way. It can be so challenging to tune out the shoulds and the coulds and the what-ifs that our Moms, culture, etc. seem to place on us, but man, the power of tuning into your body and your heart. Amen sister! Thank you :)

I am 39 and single without kids. And people are constantly asking me (moreso strangers than people I know) if I want kids. I know it's part of natural conversation when getting to know people--I'm fine with that. But when I answer no, I'm not married and no I don't have kids, people need to move on to another topic. Yes I've always wanted to be a mother but the fact is at the moment, I'm not and probably won't have any. And that is okay!

Kids are responsibility. It's a huge task. Sacrifices and great patience are prerequisites. With world becoming increasingly bad, . If the parents can't find time on daily basis through a very long time say till around they graduate, it's no then.

i have not had children and often feel alone in this tribe of women who choose not to be mothers. Thank you for sharing this !

I'm 33 years old and marrying the love of my life in June 2019. I am still undecided of I want kids or not. I really just do not know.

THANK YOU for posting this. As a 41 year old woman who does not want kids, I get the business from so many different people. I'm secure in my own decision, yet it's nice to have this type of support available.

I'm 36 and have been struggling with this ever looming baby decision for years. My husband also isn't sure he wants a kid. He's 45 and sometimes feels he won't have the energy for a kid. I grew up believing that one day I would have kids cause it's what people do when they're married and grown. The problem is we've become very comfortable with the way our life is and not sure we want it to change. Plus, there is still things we want to do. I always thought that childlessness was an unfortunate fate couples went through, but didn't know until it was time for us to make our decision that it was also a viable option. I do look at my life 10, 20 yrs from now and wonder what each scenario might be like. I feel scared of being alone as an old woman one day with no one around and yet I could have a kid and still be alone when I'm old. I feel as though their is limiting beliefs on both sides of the spectrum. Not having kids won't necessarily condemn you to a life of loneliness and having kids won't necessarily ensure a life of constant comfort and belonging. I feel alot of pressure to make this decision soon because I am 36 and still don't know what I truly want. I don't really have a career but I do have dreams to start my own business. My husband and I both have goals and dreams we want to achieve but feel alot like it has to be one or the other. Especially with the ages we're at, it just feels like there's not enough time for both. Kids and chasing dreams. And maybe that's a limiting belief as well but, I feel there is a lot of grey areas when it comes to this decision.

Absolutely love this, Marie. Thank you for making me feel more confident about my own decision. Whenever I wrestle with “me against the society” - I feel alive! :)

Here's how I decided, logged into my bank account and think that's why I dont have and dont plan to have kids.

I’m 35, childless and LOVIN IT!

Omg...I love this topic! I too have never wrestled with my decision not to have kids. I am 45 now & have zero regrets about my decision. I used to feel shame sometimes about my life choices but NOT ANYMORE! I enjoy having my life be mine & not revolved around children. I've also heard all those same things to about not having them. Someone even went so far as saying I was selfish ...lol! That made me seriously laugh! Because that "selfishness" saved a child from possibly living & growing up in a horrible environment. Which I see over & over in this world.

I have two grown kids and love them very much. But if I was given a life do over I would and could not go through the emotional, time and financial sacrifice that raising kids involves again. No matter how well prepared you think you are for raising kids, you're not.

I'm 32 and childfree..still in the 'would I regret' phase..so guess this video was exactly for me!

Uh, did you post this for me? I’m 32 and I’m going through the same exact thing right now.

I am a 36, soon to be 37 year old woman who imagined herself as married with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. I turned into an independent college drop-out, entrepreneur. I'm not married, nor do I have children (although I have two fur babies that I consider my kids) however, I am in a loving relationship, I've had many jobs that, I now consider myself a renaissance woman, and which has allowed me to gain enough experience to start my own business. I always beat myself up about not finishing college. Education is really important to me but, the environment I grew up in and the fact that I just didn't know any better at the time is something that I always saw as a negative. I realized its okay to be a late bloomer. I still wrestle with having children. My partner and I have the same views on biological children and leave adoption as an alternative, if down the line we feel a calling to be parents. It takes a lot of strength to go against the grain of what/who society "thinks" I should be. I wouldn't want it any other way and couldn't imagine my life any different. It took me accepting my journey as is, not comparing myself to anyone else, getting clarity on what I want, and celebrating me for me. xo

I want kids, at least six. I’ve know this since I was five years old and nothing’s ever gonna change that. I want to know what it’s like to give birth or adopt, to wake up to them crying every night, the terrible two’s, going off to kindergarten and developing their own brain, the teenage years where they’ll go, “I hate you, Mom!” as they slam the door in my face, the heartbreak I’ll feel when they get their first SO, graduate, go off to college, being stuck in an empty home until I die in my nice rocking chair. That’s all I imagine myself in the future, to raise as many children as possible with my husband in our suburban home.

I so appreciated this video. I knew early on that I did not want to have kids either. Your video made me chuckle as I've heard all of those comments and questions about my decision! Thank you for reminding us that we're the experts of our own lives. I'm just happy that I don't receive a lot of pressure from my family. The most loving thing we can do is be supportive without adding our own judgements or thoughts to people's decisions. Thanks so much, Marie!

Great episode! We (my husband & I ) decided not to have kids. We love children but having kids just wasn't for us. I think more people need to stop & think about it before they have kids, "just because."

THANK YOU for this video! Personally, I've known since I was 18 that I did not want kids. However, people seem to think that is what I SHOULD want and desire (especially since I work as an educator). I have no plans to change my mind . . . I plan to live MY truth!

I just wouldn’t want my children to live in this type of society... look at it now so many children are committing suicide for little things. It would be hard to be a parent when you’re stressing about your financial issues as well.

FINALLY! Heard Tom Bilyeu drop a similar answer, but this is the first female (public) explanation why no kids. There is lots of pressure typically from parents to get hitched and have seen too many marry the wrong spouse. I'm wayyy too early in my career to add children, and truthfully, at family parties where there are 20 grandkids romping around, kinda solidifies that decision - as adorable as they are, can only spend 30 minutes at a time with them

I've known from a very very young age that kids were not for me. Coming from a Mexican background y'all can only imagine everything that was said (and not) to/about me. I never let anyone push and or bully me in regards to this particular choice. I don't know if it was my tone of voice or body language (both) but surprisingly people would stop after the initial question. If any questions did come up, it was more out of curiosity to know how I knew. Most of the time, I actually get a "good for you for standing your ground." Parenthood is not for everyone, dare I say it is for less people than we actually think. Sadly,our fucked up society pushes men and women so hard towards procreation. Misery loves company. Yes, A LOT more parents are in the closet about their misery because guess what.... Society.... Be brave and honest with yourself. All those people poking their noses in your business are not the one that will be there for you when things go wrong with you, your partner and child.

My internal turmoil on the subject stems from just not knowing if I’ll regret it! Sometimes I can’t imagine a life without kids, the next I am repulsed by the idea. I’m normally indecisive, but this is on a whole different scale!

We decided early on not to have kids. It never changed and after a while people stopped asking! One of my friends thought it was because my husband didn’t but asked me “just between us” did I secretly want them? Noooo I really don’t want any. I have had every single one of those sentences thrown at me and I am almost 40!! People seem to not comprehend that some of us just don’t want children. I love my life sans children 🤗

I have had so much conflict in my head recently about having children. I have a boyfriend I love and he'd be such a good father. I think if we'd met 15 years ago we could've had beautiful children. He already has children and he thinks it's a bad idea to have any more. I have suffered a lot of pain trying to figure out if I should pursue that with another man. I hate dating, I hate meeting other men. I don't want another man. I want the boyfriend I have now. I think I'm so dissatisfied with my job, with my friendships/relationships, that I thought having a child would help me be less lonely. I went on FB and read some of the ' I regret having children' posts and it helped me so much. I think I'll always have a sore spot about not having had the family, but now I know that I don't have the right reasons for wanting a child either. I look good for 38, and I definitely think that having kids would definitely age me considerably. Thank you to everyone for their comments. Thank you Marie for the video.

Thank you again Marie. 39 years old, no kids, and I totally relate to the way you answerd that question: « The question was never in my plans...I go after what I want and I get it ! ». I 100% agree with you, If you really want something truely (except If health problems of course) you get It. At one point I was honnest with myself : this is not a question because this is not my goal/intérêts/future...I have so many more things project I am/was excites about! 😘😘❤️

I could never handle the responsibility of potentially being a massive failure on raising a life that never asked to be brought into this very messed up world.

"We need to stop looking outside of ourselves for permission to live how we want to live" - Imma remember that one, thanks!

Whether it's a man or a woman, the decision to choose to be a parent is entirely personal. No amount of peer pressure or expectations from family members must force anyone to take the decision to have offspring. Deep inside ,I have never ever seen myself as a dad. But I do think I would be a super cool uncle . I tend to invest all my resources and energy towards developing myself and would probably not be a good provider for a kid. I even don't think very highly of marriage. I am one of the very odd balls in my family and friend circles to think the way I do but I am being myself and true to my heart. At this point i really don't know if I would regret this decision 25 years later but I am prepared to face any consequences as a result.

Very inspirational video! I have struggled with this decision since I was 30. Now I am 36 and society still makes me feel bad about being childfree; especially that I am married 😊 thanks for your insights!

I wanted kids when I was in my 20's and 30's, but "Mr. Right" never materialized. Now I'm in my 40's, happily single, and I have to admit that I realize God knew exactly what He was doing. Life without kids suits me. And I know alot of women in my generation who are choosing to not have kids either. Maybe I'll adopt one day, but for now I'm content. Plus, I can always "borrow" my nieces or nephews at any time... and then give them back. :)

I relate so much to this. I've known since I was little that kids weren't for me. My mind has never changed, despite so many people telling me it would. I respect this video and Marie so much for spreading this message! And LOL the song and the clips cracked me up! :)

Marie you beautiful human being! I LOVE that more high-profile women are talking about this issue (Lisa Bilyeu recently posted something on Instagram about it, too). There's so much shame around voluntary childlessness for women - and yes, we need to stop looking for permission to live how we want to live! And that goes for women who know they want a family too, who I'm sure face their own share of judgment. The choice is always ours

I think the meaning of life is as deep connection as u can get. If u strive to deepen connections with ur close friends, and love the work u do, then u will never be lonely. Kids arent there to give u life meaning. U will be awfull chaining them and expecting emotilnal support or anything like that from ur kids. In my opinion, if u are unable to detach, and feel the pressure then dont have the kids. Thats my opinion.

I am 34, I don’t want kids. I’ve never felt the desire to be a mom or parent. I deeply love children and yes babies… I deeply want them in my life in different capacities and have worked with them most of my life~ I’m a super nurturing person- I still don’t want them, that’s OK! I think accepting your truth is important. I’ve spent 2 years now examining this Q bc I just don’t want to regret not having them… at the end of the day it’s still a no. That’s something I can feel good about… knowing I’ve fully examined it. Trust your truth, don’t let anyone sway what you really feel and desire for your life ❤️

Omg! Thank you! I know deep down that not having kids is right for me! Thank you!

Any Indian watching this? M already 36 and i still dont like the idea of having a child. Ppl say its now or never coz my biological clock is ticking.. What to do.. m so confused.🥺

A decision I just recently made that goes against the grain is to stay in a city across the country by myself and get myself a one-bedroom apartment while my boyfriend moves back to the other side of the country to our hometown. People think I’m crazy and that our relationship won’t work, but what I say is “if it’s meant to be, it will be.” If not, well then regardless of what happens, I still did what I knew was right for me which was staying in this city...alone! :) Thanks for the awesome advice and love the show!

Oh my gosh AMEN! We need to stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Brilliant. And for all the years that I have followed you, I have always wondered about your decision not to have kids! Thanks so much for sharing xx

It's for every woman to decide for herself. I don't like babies or children (or anything to do with caring for them), but I have 4 (3 boys and 1 girl) - all adults now and moved out. But I always knew that I wanted to have a family, so I decided to have them very young (started at 19 - 4 children in 5 years). I love the people they have become; independent, kind to others, smart and funny. I love spending time with them NOW, not when they were crying little babies. I also never made a big deal about it, they never stopped my husband and I from traveling or following our dreams. We were never the "doting type" - but we were very strict. I can hear ask you parents scream; but since you had them you're suppose to sacrifice everything for them! Well, I don't agree, they will have their own life and adulthood to decide what they want to do with their life, but while they're children, just tag along with me, we might even end up having some fun! :-)

Pros of having children: having an objective purpose in life, experiencing a love deeper than you’ve ever felt before, doing something noble and hard, making life more of an experience to learn and grow from. Also, having the love and support of a family that potentially extends throughout the rest of your life. Cons of having children: more money, cool stuff, life’s relatively easy for awhile, until you get old and all your friends and family start to die off.

Can someone please explain to me the joy of having kids? I just simply don't get it? Why would I want to deal with the crying, whining and sacrificing my time & money when I have better & happier things to do? And don't say to repopulate the earth because I think 7+ billion people is enough.

Sooo I admittedly had a age 35 cutoff for having kids. I just made 36 and still no kids or relationship. My fam asks me... eeeeverytime we gather. Like I'm breaking the rules some how. But whatever.

Yes I did! and in my case it had to do with a relationship. I was a divorced mom of 41, had 2 adult children living elsewhere and I started a new relationship that really went against the grain: 💨💨💨 - it was a Moroccan man (Moroccans in general didn't have a good image here) - he was muslim while I was christian - he was almost 20 years younger than me I got remarks like: "one day you will come home and your apartment will be empty!" "You could be his mother!" "It is not allowed for muslims to live with a christian!" (and vice versa) In the first place I was wrestling with myself because of the age difference, the rest was not important to me. It took me 2 months to allow myself to go for it and I have never regretted it 💖 I have enjoyed every moment with him. It was the strongest love relationship I have ever had ❤️❤️❤️ We promised each other to be there for one another the rest of our life and we still keep that promise. Today I am almost 60 and what life has taught me is that, when you follow your gut feeling and you accept clearly at the moment of your decision all the possible consequences (which means that you take full responsability) , then you have a blessed experience and you will never regret your decision ✨ You can only do this if you take your decision independently of everything you hear around you. When I was 41, a certain day I promised myself that I would do everything I could to feel alive and to really experience love in my life. I kept that promise to myself ever since ❤️😇 The first step was leaving my husband and, although It was a big challenge and a struggle for me to live for the first time in my life completely on my own, it was the best decision of my life 😇💖 And since that day I have never regretted any big decision 😊 Even if it turned out to be wrong or that I had overlooked something. It was ok because I told myself from the beginning that that was a risk that I took and that I had to be able to accept it if it would go wrong or if things would happen that I didn't like. At 41 I took consciously control over my own life and it has brought me so much happiness, you can't imagine 😊🍀 The message for me back then was "Allow yourself to be completely you and discover how you can do it." These are the steps that I have followed that helped me to do it: 1) Be aware of all your feelings: emotionally and in your body; the ones you want to feel and the ones you want to get rid off 2) Take a clear decision about what is the most important to you (or like Marie says: "How do you see yourself living in 10 years and later?") 3) Be aware of all the facts 4) Accept/Acknowledge everything that you can not control 5) Take the most important action that brings you the closest to nr. 2) I wish everybody here a blessed life 😄💖🍀 Hug, Lieve 😊 #discover #feelgood2 www.feelgood2.be

Preeeach!!! It’s crazy how much I get asked this question since from the age of 23 to 27 I am so tired of having to explain myself.

Terrific topic! I've known since I was a child myself that I didn't want kids & managed to stick to that decision although the social pressure has been intense at times. I spent most of my 20s being patronized & told "oh, you'll feel differently when you're older" & was forced to go on the pill, with all its health risks, because no doctor would take me seriously enough to make it permanent. I also didn't marry a man I loved at the time because he wanted children & while he assured me he was OK with my decision, I knew it wouldn't be fair on him & that it would probably become a problem after a while. He's has 3 kids & is a wonderful dad, so my decision, while painful, was the right one for us both. I was lucky in a way to never have a single doubt -- nor a single regret (my partner for the past 24 years has 2 grown kids, so it's never been an issue with us). There are a lot of people in this world all too ready to tell women what to do with their lives; thank goodness we still have the power to make that decision ourselves. Let's all make sure that power of choice isn't taken away from us!

I don't know what i want 30 days frm now Marie.. how can I think about 10 yrs , What I will want ..?

Married at 22, divorced at 32, remarried at 37 because wanted to be biological mom... Always followed my heart no matter what society says... Following heart needs some. Wrestling too 😉

I don't judge people who do not want kids. I judge people who have kids and expect that parenting ends at 18 or who bring kids into this world and do not give them opportunities to succeed, have a good life, or have a good start into adulthood. If you have kids, you should ensure they participate in activities/sports, pay for their post-secondary education, pay for their first car, help pay for wedding expenses, help pay for a downpayment on their first place, etc. Of course, some of these may not be applicable if they don't like sports, want to do further education, get married, etc. but it seems odd to have kids and just give them a miserable life or just parent them for 18 years. I judge those people harshly. Of course, things happen but outside those rare situations, give your kids what they need and deserve.

I'm 35 and I'm more on the fence than ever before and the pressure of time is not helping. I know I do not want to adopt or go through surrogacy or even IVF. What I cannot decide is if I want to try getting pregnant. I spent all of my adult life making sure I do not get pregnant if I'm not ready. Almost 2 decades later I am still not ready and time is running out. I'm happily married, my husband is 42, doesn't have children so the option of being a step-parent is out of the question as well. It's a now or never scenario and I'm frozen. We both are. I think we over though it for so long that now we are just stuck.

42 year old married male here. I decided that I never wanted children when I was in high school and realized that I would never bring a child into this messed up world, and it's much worse now than when I was in high school.

Thank you for sharing this Marie. I’m on board with you. I have been sharing my views ever since I was 5 years old. I’ve always told my family and friends I didn’t want them and 20 years later I know WHY I dont want them. Every woman should speak her voice with truth and respect, no matter who says we can’t.

I've never wanted kids and never will. I love being childfree.

It’s no one else’s business if you have kids or how many. The people that suggest you have some, or more, aren’t going to help you take care of them!

WOHOOOOO!!!! "I'm the expert of my own life" - I love it!

I truly wish o could be the kind of woman that didn’t want kids. It’s harder to find women like me who have always wanted kids but haven’t had the opportunity. My ex changed his mind and I stayed with him. I’m 36 and now have health issues that can affect fertility. You’re the lucky women.

There's a saying 'you'll only regret the kids you didn't have'. I'm 40 and still undecided. My partner is obsessing and i never really felt that mom feeling. I'm a mom to my dogs. Babies make me uncomfortable -i can't explain it.

Never wanted children. I took care of my younger siblings, worked in kindergarten, babysat a few kids...I have seen enough to solidify my choice. This is not the experience I want to have. I will gladly be an aunt when my siblings decide to procreate though. But I do not want my own.