Sounds accurate 💯

Wow, in all my 20years of marriage I don’t ever recall my ex asking about my perspective or feelings. These clues are Spot on! Great info 👏🏽

Absolutely a covert narcissist would totally agree that your boundaries are healthy and that they would never do that to you.

After *20* years, I now recognize that my ex was (is?) a narcissist. And my first boyfriend (just before him, who was my biggest crush, and ‘friend’ of 4 years) possibly was as well. 😖 ………And I am working through the trauma of those strange relationships ….. and figuring out how in the world I fell prey and hung in there with those guys. Oy vey….. my poor husband was not prepared to deal with all this baggage. Nor was I. 😩😭😣

Yep they act like street angel when someone is watching and at home they are in full demon mode

Truth. Especially empaths, they know somethings off, even if they don’t want to admit it to themselves

I've had MANY instances where my "gut" was BLURTING out RED flags. Unfortunately as the author said. It's what you do. The course of action is the CROSSROADS or fork in the road (decisions) that can turn out to be sooo conseauencial SMHID

My gut just told me he was broken from his supposedly abusive ex and parents and he just didn’t know better. At 35 years old. I never thought he would have been as evil as he was. Or that he would have cheated. I knew his actions were wrong but i didn’t think he was a bad person Spoiler alert, he is an evil ghoul

The issue was I had been in so many relationships where I was given SO little I got used to being abused emotionally and mentally. So when my narc came along, I didn’t see it as love bombing. It was like FINALLY, someone is treating me well. He convinced me to trust him, and made sure he told all his friends and family I was the one. When he dropped me out of nowhere, I was shocked beyond words. I had no idea what I was dealing with.

@@JimmyonRelationships This! I've learned the hard way not to listen to someone tell me I'm overthinking anything because I end up always being right. Part of the healing process is definitely getting better at listening to that signal and that got going off that something is off.

Thank you Ive been separated for years. Still having anxieties thinking about the past

I am still praying for a way out. Maybe one day. :(

​@@yinyangphoenixwhat are you waiting for?!?

​​@yinyangphoenix get out. It's not worth it to be in a damaging relationship. My ex wasn't a narcissist, i believe it was BPD, but it was very painful. The ghosting, breakups and name calling if i said the wrong thing. Leaves you permanently on edge and no argument is ever solved as you're not allowed to have feelings about their behaviour or the last breakup they initiated.

It's hell

The last 6 months for me I was doing a “Judgment detox” meditation/journaling every single morning just to not be filled with discomfort and rage and I thought it was because of ME. I was judgemwntal. I expressed my discomfort and this person kept affirming that it was me and was so good I was working on my personality flaw of judgemental-ness. Even though said person was the only person I felt the need to do this daily for 🤦‍♀️

I remember talking with one sincere guy who just felt like he dumped on me like I was a therapist 😂 He was kinda emotionally everywhere, divorced man, really nice person though, and we recommended books to each other. My face went sleepy after 2 hours. They noticed, and I tried to put up an energetic stance, but right after the vid call I curled up on my bed and prayed about- God, you know me and you know them and you know where and with whom we each belong in this life and what would be a good match, please guide and open and close doors- ended up falling alseep for 2 hours!. I really was attracted to him and he was very interesting. But he didn't contact me again for 10 days and that was my answer. I'm so glad bc I was so drained after that video call. Sometimes we don't gauge how we feel after being around them, but that's the most important thing to do! They could be a good person, just not your person. They could be bad, who knows. But just feel it out, pray for the right outcome for all involved, and that's usually the answer. Do notice how you feel after the majority of interactions.

Being with my parents always brought on a migraine.

I dated a narcissist once! I got rid of him by going AWOL into the second month. He kept calling for months! Couldn't stand him!😂

DREAD is a huge word.

Hmmm so true

Yes, that hit me hard. The most painful kind of abandonment is the one we do to ourselves.

Absolutely so true.

Very true!!

Spot on, no truer words.

Yep

Absolutely

I agree people like that usually end up getting themselves hurt also I can’t stand them

Someone should have told this to my Mom! He would abuse us and then she would turn HIM into the victim! She was “heroic” to try and save him from himself! (In her head at least.).

YIKES!! An evaluation of the last 45 years of my life…WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK

Deep down they despise themselves. For this reason, they cannot love anyone else including their children. They may love the things you do for them or the things you give them. Sadly, they don’t understand that this isn’t true love.

This comment should be pinned.

Totally agree. Super self centered!

I love because they want to make me happy but I also have an equal desire to make them happy and it's not narcissism. Narcissists don't care about the other.

This is the EXACT question I asked and the answer made me realize my marriage was over… he said “because you’re pretty”… I’m not that pretty 😂😂😂😂

yes they would ask for information and then use that information against you later and change the narrative or ask more questions. It’s mentally draining . your vulnerability is used as weapon against you as they use it to belittle you , bring you down , provoke you and just start arguments.

YES! And they will accuse you of "not being enough vulnerable" (!) ...with them at the beginning!! 🫠

Yes! Everything you say will be used against you.

I fell into that trap. He pulled my old scars open and laughed at my past. "You deserve what have happened to you." He would speak my stories out loud just to watch me cry.

100% true

You missed one - hoovering.

@@irielion3748not necessarily, if they have excess supply happening or a new target lined up, they may never Hoover or it may take months. Also they may not hoover if they know you’ve seen completely behind the mask and their facade has been fully exposed

@@christiecooke1775m

@@christiecooke1775I agree! Not necessarily.

This is my wife who has just discarded me after 12 years

This.

Exactly! And the narcissist loves that😊

I am so hurt and disgusted with who I am and who I’ve been!! I’m pissy and resentful of every single thing, anymore. I hate that I’ve been seen as every bad thing I’ve worked hard in life to not be!! Just knowing that at 58 years old, I’m going to have been so damned nieve! I make myself literally sick just to think about it. And now on the exact opposite side of things, there will be no joy left to build hope on for the now knowing of everything I hate myself for being so nieve’ and not knowing of, before, because all I have is darkness and hate. Evil is now what is destroying me. So I go nowhere, talk to no one, try to reverse all of the things I’ve been fighting not to have, all of my life and can’t seem to shake. I have no purpose, no plans and pray that my future doesn’t extend past the day, everyday. I don’t trust myself, people, nor stand for nothing, live for nothing and Believe In nothing. My narcissist, showed me how to hate. Took him over 10 years before he began revealing himself. It took me another 6 years to finally understand it wasn’t a medical or mental issue that has creeped up in his old age. A lot of damages that most would value as majors. Thankfully, I guess, my career, home, family, children, money and retirement, won’t have been to me as much as they’d have been with most others. However, the thought of knowing that I’d never faltered away from, been disloyal, never betrayed, gossiped, discussed, defamed, belittled or intentionally ever harmed my relationship, even while in the throes of the darkened days of those last 6 years. While at the same time and for as long as from probably the very , very beginning, i had been criticized, spoken I’ll about, lied about, accused of having been doing all that my narcissist was guilty of doing, me to him, not him to me, cheated on, manipulated and used amongst his best buds, along with him, as some form of entertainment, as well as what I consider betrayal, because of what I found he and my children and family had been talking and led to believe of me and actually entertained in thier heads for even a moment. Now these are what I hate of myself for allowing, not realizing, nor wanting to see as well as why now I hate myself for all the darkness I have for all who I now don’t know. These are what I mourn and hate for . The people I never doubted for even a second , ever, would have ever not had for me the same love , trust, belief and worth , as I will have had for them. So, as long as I am now a damned soul, there is nothing left but death. Death is all I have left to look forward to, now. May it finally come!!

@@innocentlysweet809 I'm so sorry you are suffering. It's never too late to rebuild your life and self esteem and worth. You deserve to be happy. Please consider finding a therapist who can help you through this and be on your side. You're not alone. I'm praying for you. ❤️

​@@innocentlysweet809 Hi, what you wrote really strikes something in me and I don't know if you will ever read this but I can't leave your words without a reaction. I don't know you, I don't know what you're going through and I won't assume. However those thoughts you voiced in the end sound very familiar to what I thought about myself in the beginning of this year. You posted this and I hear you so let's actually talk this through. Your mind seems to be set and I won't even try to change your mind. I want to try and give anyone reading this and connecting to this feeling a different perspective: There is always a choice. As long as you are breathing you always have a choice. This is the most valuable thing I learned this year. How you choose to think about yourself and treat yourself are actually your decisions to make. You're writing that you don't trust yourself, you think you're naive and that you hate yourself especially 'for allowing, not realizing, nor wanting to see'. By agreeing to those thoughts you're judging yourself from a position of shame. And that's where I have some questions: Do you think that doing this is fair or constructive in any way? Do you not think you deserve at least a fair trial (even people who get conviceted for criminal actions are deserving of a fair trial)? More importantly, do you think that the way you acted in the past defines who you are as a person? And are you letting those past actions define who you are in the present? Because you are absolutely allowed and able to change your mind and react to similar situations in a different way each time. By distrusting your ability make healthy and sound decisions, you are not looking at the full picture, but instead judging yourself from the outside - as if you were another person, who doesn't know you and only sees your actions. The full picture is this: you don't only have your actions, they are a part of you but so are your thoughts, your decisions, your experiences, your feelings, your desires, dreams and hopes. After having all these things in mind - would you still come to the conclusion that you cannot be trusted with making good decisions within of what you knew and how you felt back then. Because choosing safety can also be a good (and smart) decision. Sometimes we don't stand up for ourselves or what we think is right because we don't feel safe to do so. And sometimes this leads to bad and sometimes to horrible things to happen. But that does not and will never mean that you agreed to the mistreatment or abuse to happen. The person who mistreats or abuses is to blame for anything they've done. Not you. You cannot control what other people choose to do/say/think or desire. By diagreeing with someone who imposes a threat to your (emotional or physical) safety can sound like a good thing to do, but it also puts you in a very vulnerable and unsafe spot. But now it sounds like you are not in that situation anymore and outside of immediate danger, which makes it easier for you to judge your past self and blame it for not reacting differently. And that is the point: now - in the present - you are in control over your present reaction. And I think there is simply no reason to repeat the abuse by blaming yourself for something you could not control back then and cannot control now. Also, you're writing that you are a damned soul, that evil is destroying you and that there is nothing left (to look forward to) but death. And yet, you are breathing. Yet, you can't stop looking at the past. Trying to find a way in which you could have reacted differently. I believe that this is a great starting point for learning and for self improvement. With all of those negative thoughts and all of the shame you see around yourself you are choosing to think that you want to wait. Even though you are wishing for death, you're waiting for it and not actively trying anything. In fact, the action you chose to take was to go on the internet, watch this video and open up about your self hatred, past experiences and about your passive suicidal thoughts. I think that was a very brave decision and I hope, that one day you find the strengh inside you to take the necessary steps towards help. Because once you do, you will find that you are not by yourself. You will have to fight this evil that's destroying you by yourself - but you won't be alone doing so. And there are people that will assist you, train with you and there are people that can help you heal those wounds. At the end of the day, having obsessive thoughts about death is nothing else than your mind telling you that you will always have a choice. So every breath you take is also a choice - a choice to wait until that one day filled with self hatred and shame is over. And there is a massive difference between 'I can't go on living' and 'I can't go on living this way', because the last sentence rather translates to - 'I need things to change'. I'd like to strongly advice you to talk with a doctor or mental health professional about these thoughts. This might seem scary, but you don't have to trust a person to accept their kind words. And if it is simply not an option to go to therapy where you live, information on the internet might be the second best chance to and if no other person feels safe then it might be a good start to treat yourself with compassion and kindness. You don't have to forgive yourself for every mistake you made in the past to smile at yourself in the mirror today or to make yourself pancakes for breakfast or to go for a walk in nature on a sunny day or to treat yourself for a nice glass of water whenever you start to have those negative thoughts. (I don't, but by doing those things continuously I can sometimes gain a different perspective on things and reach understanding and compassion). You don't have to enjoy any of those things either. But hydration, food, (movement) and love are basic needs of any human being - maybe granting yourself whatever fulfills those needs can be enough to build a new and better version of yourself in the present and in the future. I don't know how you recieve this message but I hope this does not read as an attempt to belittle or play down anything you wrote about. In fact this is the first time I am writing a comment on youtube and I am sorry for the length. I simply wanted to show you that there can be a reaction from other people if you voice your call for change and/or help. I cannot do much to help you though, except for replying to your comment. With this reply I beg to differ from how hard you are on yourself here. Even though you might not see hope from where you are right not I hope that you can go easier on yourself tomorrow. Please remember that you are loved and that you deserve to be. If it is a possibility for you please consider talking to a mental health professional, this might be the help you need on your journey towards healing. You might believe that you are broken but that doesn't mean that you are unfixably broken :)

Yes

Be glad for that, otherwise you could have wound up with kids just like their father: genetics.

@@susanjones8489 so true, and they would also grow up with his family around which created that monster in the first place

Absolutely! I can’t believe I dodged that, given how stupid I was in so many ways.

It's interesting, I was just talking to one of my brothers the other day and told him the biggest blessing is that I didn't get the ex narc wife pregnant. Def was smart enough and dodged a huge bullet there!

I'm also 60. I met him at 17th. But my kids are safe. Now I'm leaving. It's not too late.

ME TOO !! Just getting out of a narcissistic relationship.. he had none of those qualities 😩😩😩 Bummer I let myself suffer for a year and a quarter...

Me too. And when I left, she told me I was just like every other rapist man out there. Her mask slipped. I saw the white hot anger at me enforcing my boundary. Within half an hour of leaving, she was trying the desperately call and text me, threatening to off herself. And it's not the first time she's threatened that. I just couldn't take the yelling. I couldn't take the walking on eggshells. I'm 45, and I think I'll probably be alone the rest of my life. That's what makes me want to go back every time.

@@Middle-AgedWhiteGuy dang, I totally understand. It takes a long time to heal from the chaos. Please take all the time you need🙏

Me too, but it's like we have a superpower now that we did figure it out. Most people will never get this knowledge.

This absolutely breaks my heart. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I’m so so sorry 😢

@@JimmyonRelationships i wish I had found you sooner. Maybe she could have accepted help realizing the fault was not within her. She was a beautiful trumpet player. An empath. Kind caring. The perfect prey for a narcissist. I was her only adult anchor. She fought for her younger siblings. No success. Thank you.

😢

So sad, much love to you as you process this heartbreak 💔

I'm so sorry for your loss of your granddaughter. I hope the mother finds the courage to kick that man out (or take the other kids and leave) before he hurts anyone else (more than he probably already has)!

😢 SO spot on

Wow!!!!!

Wow😮 the way you broke it down 💯

Holy flying sushi! 🤔

So narcotic from Greek “narkoun” meaning “numb”. Narcissus from Greek “narke” where the term for “narcissist” derives, meaning “numbness”. 🤯

Omg my ex narcissist did that!

@@evanmichel632 taking care of yourself isn't selfish. Put your mask on first, hon. The rest comes together.

How one day you are the love of their life and the other, you're a threat and it snowballs out of control. They don't like being made to feel like the bad guy even if they hurt your feelings. You become the threat to their false personas.

@@evanmichel632 I really don't understand it . It is so strange ,it doesn't fit .It is not right what is keeping you there? Is it sex or beauty ??? I don't get it...!

Bekki, I have been married 45 years and just found out I have been living with a narcistic financial abuser , talk about shock. I am ready to check into a mental facility. I couldn't figure out why He couldn't hear anything I said ,or want my opinion. Now I know ,I had to seriously educate myself .

🙌🏾 good thing you were able to get out

One day at a time. Well done for making the huge step of leaving 👏👏👏

You are a model for me.

Be strong. It’s like being freed from hell. It might help to talk with a woman therapist. Really, a woman!

Brave! Wish you safety.

I was so relieved to learn that narcissism is LEARNED BAD BEHAVIOR and not hereditary! I'm in therapy for the people who refuse to go to therapy...

My dad is narcissist.

They walk amongst us

Yep. My closest friendships were with narcissists

Even our former president and we still suffer daily with his abuse. I have disowned the narcissistic family member but how do you escape a famous wannabe dictator who have convinced the orange cult members that "I am the enemy?!"

😂😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂

Mine said at the end, "I am a really really good actor" which totally fitted. Love the Hollywood analogy.

I was constantly accused for going in to a "role" when i was emotional and needed to connect, under the silent treatment act.

Why would they drop you right during that phase? I keep spinning on that. I thought the intent was to hook you then keep you attached. Mine abruptly dropped me the night before he was about to put his dog down. I assumed it was depression he was suffering, but the events after all point to NPD. Maybe I was about to see his mask drop? I can’t stress how bizarre and sudden it was. Just that morning he was sending me loving messages. This was months ago, he blocked me, hasn’t contacted me since. Maybe he couldn’t keep up the love bombing and bailed to deal with his grief.

@@Evergreen11_11sex. Usually . It’s a game for them they’ve won. On to the next game!

@@Evergreen11_11 be grateful you escaped! He may have found another unsuspecting victim!

I agree!

​​@@Evergreen11_11because they have to do a "test" to see if their love bombing worked. They'll ghost or drop you with the full intention of getting you back (then the Hoovering starts.) This tells them that you're weak, susceptible to more abuse, and in their twisted minds validates how much you care because they are such an amazing person. The "drop you, ghosting, then Hoovering/Love Bombing" goes on indefinitely until they aquire a new target or source. It sounds like you got away before he had a chance to do some serious damage-and they always do. Best of luck to you!

Well said. Thank you

That resonates.

perfectly stated!

No, there is No way. However you show or handle your Love, they will Interpret it as weakness or reason for aggression.

So very true 😢I can attest to that 😭

That's why so many people don't talk about their toxic/abusive relationship. They feel ashamed and embarrassed that they got into this situation. They feel at fault, like they CHOSE this person who now treats them like dirt.

I mean yeah. That shouldn’t really feel all that profound of a statement. Self centered ppl want ppl to cater to em

Unfortunately, this is true. You are clueless of the extent this behavior until it happens to you. We are taught to always look at the good in people. The narcissists love kind and caring people.

You are right! It takes me 3 malignant narcs in my love to get it!

That very true

You are absolutely correct. I had no idea what happened to me until I heard a talk on Narcissism. Then everything was clear. Unfortunately it did nothing to change the trauma I experienced, nor could I stop blaming myself. Narcissist embed blame into your soul and it’s difficult to remember it wasn’t your fault.

I was married to a narcissist for 30 years. I’ve spent the last 15 years trying to deprogram myself. I wish I had heard this 50 years ago. You’re right. Only living through time with a narcissist can show how true this video is

That hit deep😞🥺

It’s true but it’s learned behaviour and you knew no better but facing up to why you went for a narcissistic partner? Because that’s what you are used to? That’s half the battle. I only wanted to focus on me and what was “wrong”with me in therapy because me was the only person I could change . I know some people have an issue with me using the word “wrong” but I knew I had faults that drew me to a narcissist and that was what I was interested in.

Sociopathy spreads quicker than covid. This is why it's important to heal and erect iron clad boundaries at all times

what separates you from the narcissist is that you actually recognize that as toxic behavior. a narcissist wouldn’t even think to introspect their behaviors.

Happened to me due to living with my adoptive narcissistic abusive father for a number of years. However the fact that you question your act reveals that you are not one of them - it’s just a subsconscious imitative pattern that you can get rid of. Congrats you did.

I heard 'what is wrong with you?' a LOT.

"We need to record our next discussion because one of us is crazy." (aka him obviously telling me that he thinks I'm crazy cause obv he isn't the crazy one lol)

Or why are you reacting like that? You’re grown up Calling me a whore out of nothing and saying I’m just kidding, you made it all up

😢He used to say sth like "baby I won't push u into sex." But every time I refused him, he would get upset and blame me for "not being nice".

“I was joking.”🙄

I almost married one 😮

@@bsosbebe I’m still dating one- how did you find the strength to get away?

@@kirstyclarke6249 just imagine a whole life of this bullshit and ask yourself are you willing to let it happen

Kirstyclarke6249, You get away by speaking the truth to yourself. I was with a covert for years. I still haven’t recovered my short term memory from the abuse even though it’s been more than a year of dedicated weekly therapy. He stole most of my life savings, was a serial cheater ( most are! If u haven’t caught them yet, keep looking), a pathological liar, tried to turn my child and family against me with the smear campaign- still doing this to people around me, poisoning, physically abused me, every type abuse there is really. Now is trying to steal what’s left in the divorce. He had no money when we married! And that’s the truth. The longer you stay, the more abusive it gets. So today is as good as it gets for you! You have no real idea how cloudy you’re thinking and how much damage is done until after you leave. When I left, I got lost a few blocks from home. It will happen to you if you keep staying. Tell yourself the truth and begin valuing Yourself too much to let someone treat you like a dog. This is my honest warning and it’s the tip of the iceberg. I wish you well.

Kirstyclarke6249, You get away by speaking the truth to yourself. I was with a covert for years. I still haven’t recovered my short term memory from the abuse even though it’s been more than a year of dedicated weekly therapy. He stole most of my life savings, was a serial cheater ( most are! If u haven’t caught them yet, keep looking), a pathological liar, tried to turn my child and family against me with the smear campaign- still doing this to people around me, poisoning, physically abused me, every type abuse there is really. Now is trying to steal what’s left in the divorce. He had no money when we married! And that’s the truth. The longer you stay, the more abusive it gets. So today is as good as it gets for you! You have no real idea how cloudy you’re thinking and how much damage is done until after you leave. When I left, I got lost a few blocks from home. It will happen to you if you keep staying. Tell yourself the truth and begin valuing Yourself too much to let someone treat you like a dog. This is my honest warning and it’s the tip of the iceberg. I wish you well.

Good Job baby, now pray to God and RUN!!! FAR AND FAST!!!

I am so happy and proud of you! Getbsafe and get help to heal.

Ditto!

After 12 years as of last night, I’m DONE! I feel so relieved and a sense of peace. It’s strange because i still feel a sadness but these past two years have been some of the worst and that’s saying a lot. I have developed fibromyalgia and felt like I’ve been dying on the inside just for him keep dragging me along while planning on sucking another woman in at the same time, but that was the final push I needed. And there’s no going back!! I just pray i can get out of this apartment unharmed sooner than later. He refuses to leave ofc. I just want to be away from him so badly.

I was with my ex 20 years. I’ve been away from him 8. You have just made the best decision of your life, so proud of you, make sure you ask for support when you need it. Everyone is happy to give ❤️ it is your journey, now you decide.

I swear I could have written this myself. I’m so sorry you had to go through it too.

@@aaronjohnson9876 I'm sorry for you too.

My narcisist husband showed his true colours the moment I signed on the dotted line of my marriage certificate.

Me2​@@CaroleanneWright

I can relate , not a second do i missed any of them.

Thanks. I was searching for this comment❤

Immagine "too affectionate" being used against you - highly disagree on this... Also: One can have a selective "narcisistic" tendency - but this are just fancy words. If you respect your partner that's not a bad thing.

❤

Thank you for listing

​@@AECH_CHI had too affectionate used against me in the end but hailed as the only one who cared in the beginning

You’re doing amazing work!

How do you spell relief!!!!

I can completely relate. My mother was horrid and my dad left when I was 11. She wanted complete control. I ran from the fire into the frying pan. Now too divorced all I attract are narcs. And when you meet new people whether they are male or female and the realize that you know what to look for...💨poof they're gone.😂

Yep, the kind of relationship where you HOPE to get dumped. Been there. 😂❤

So many narc victims were raised by a narc parent. I was 54 before I finally challenged my father about all the forms of childhood abuse.

My ex yelled at me and said “who feels that way for such a thing? You should go see therapist or something.” and I saw the hate in his eyes while he was saying those things. It was horrible.

Facts. 🎯

Me too, least we know now

So sad but true😢

The way you just shot an arrow into my soul with this one lol. I’m 22, I’ve thought about this in other forms but this clicks

The worst bit is that knowing this doesn’t actually save you from being hurt in the future or even being forever wounded.

The only winning move is to not play.

❤😊❤

Not true exactly.. You can win. By removing yourself from their presence cold turkey . AND FOREVER. No text,no calls,no nothing,ever again. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥...and BOOM they lost !!!! You gained ur life ,sanity, joy n freedom back . I highly recommend. Move to another state or what a hell,to another country,Go bick or go home 🥳🌹🥳🌹🥳🌹🥳🌹🥳🌹TRUST ME IT WORKED!!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOOSE THE DEMON N GET T F### OUT.

Not true exactly.. You CAN WIN. By getting rid of them .Just leaving them behing cold turkey n starting a NEW LIFE !!!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳Somewhere faaaaaaaar away ,another state or country. Go big or go home.🌹🥳🎈🔥🌹🥳🎈🔥🌹🥳🎈🔥 You loose the demon n gain life, joy, sanity n freedom back!!!!! I highly recommend this for ppl who are on the verge of giving up n in total despair....U DESERVE TO LIVE LIFE N BE HAPPY. U NEED TO REFUSE TO BE TORMENTED N START A NEW LIFE!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Whoever is reading this ... 🔥🔥🔥God loves you n the best is yet to come!!!🎉🎉🎉

@sarahodom7091- be careful with her content. She’s a Narcissist and actually parrots information. I hope you find someone else to detect to for more accurate information.

That's exactly how I feel! I'm just a shell of the person I used to be. Over a decade of suppressing needs/wants in order to keep the peace. Thank you for sharing. It's bitter sweet knowing your not alone because you know someone else had to suffer in order to relate. We can do this!

That's what they do to you, slowly and systematically. It's Covert - that's how they get away with it.

Yes yes yes… it is this… 😢

He is amazing!!

I feel like I’ve been dismantled. Nothing good has happened to me since I’ve been with my partner.

God will help you because he's helping me 🙏🏾🙏🏾 go to the bible you'll find comfort and strength there! Trust me, that's where mine is coming from.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Don’t worry about the smear campaign. The truth will set you free

Even if you are physically alone, you are not truly alone. Sending you lots of love from a fellow survivor. 💕💕

May you have the strength to do what is right for you. Separate yourself from this toxic relationship and you will find peace. 🙏🏼

Leaving is the right thing to do ❤

Start now! You deserve ❤ but self love beforehand!

​@@beastshawneeyeah they love go getter optimists with thick skin and resilience because we take licks and keep on ticking, trying and giving. But remember that's your super power you can reframe to focus on you and reciprocal relationships. Just don't let them use your good nature against you and don't become a self gaslighter because that happens a lot! Don't adopt their narratives. Set boundaries to avoid future malignant narcs too. Be the kind of friend to yourself that you are to others. Give yourself grace

I hope you can start prioritizing your happiness because a narcissist will always prioritize theirs.

Choose you.

Prioritize your well being and put yourself first

Woohooo... same here .. 12years of marriage and 3years dating prior and now 4 months since seperation.. I'm enjoying the peace rn and before I have to face him for the divorce/child custody battle. Stay strong. Congratulations on the realisation.

It’s not only with men, some women are pathological narcissistic abusers, too

Omg congratulations and how are you doing? It was like I woke up from a dream this past year and realized I married a narcissist. I’ve been so broken down I almost lost all hope. It’s been 20 years and we have two kids but I am plotting my escape.

@@kavya_bhat Wow - In total you stayed 15 years. Wow you are an inspiration to me! I've gone through this for slightly shorter - no marriage or commitment or level up from my partner at all in that time.. Just goes to show sometimes we can remain in the twilight zone without realising how damaging it is running our body/life clock down. Stay strong, you've got this!!

@@DaughterofDiogenes I'm so glad to hear that your own self reflection has got you to the conclusion - narcissists are terrible energy depleters. I hope you get out safely and are able to start living a much happier life. The fact you're 20 years in speaks volumes how strong you are to be finally leaving.

this is me right now going through a friendship break up and im just so confused she’s one of those spiritual girls and she comes off as understanding but then she made a ig vid about how sge really felt about our talk we had and one thing she said was that she low maintenance and it left me feeling like i was the needy one or i was asking for me much and this whole thing is leaving so confused like is she not who she says she is

Same. I was problematic and didn’t appreciate what he did for us.

I think they have emotions but empathy requires feeling someone else’s feelings. They don’t. If they did they would have the ability to feel what you’re feeling and not treat you that way because it would also hurt them. They have their own emotions and may feel even happy when you’re sad, not sad when you’re sad. They understand emotions yes but they don’t feel what you’re feeling. Which is what is required for it to be empathy. They don’t care enough to have empathy

What's more bizarre to me than anything is how people act like they're dealing with wild animals. I have a very hard time believing they "target" anyone. They are more than likely fumbling their way through life like anyone else, and unfortunately people get hurt because that's life...

@@TheCynicalJay I don’t think they are wild animals but the way they go through life inevitably hurts people for a long time. And it hurts themselves because they also never have a mutually understanding loving relationship even if they wanted it because they have their own unaddressed issues that led them to become the way they are. If you look at the childhood of someone who is fully narcissistic they have a lot of trauma. And sometimes it’s generational. It’s a coping mechanism and how they adapted to their situation. My grandfather is one, my mother is one and I ended up almost married to one and I could see the similarities between them all. And this term is not used lightly for me. It took me a long time to acknowledge it because I didn’t want to believe it. And my step grandma was the person that raised me and I am a lot like her in relationships which was very tolerant and easily felt that I was the problem. I’m not perfect and no one is and some are not fully narcissistic and may just have some tendencies versus someone who is fully narcissistic. But either way it’s important to know when you’re dealing with someone who has no regard for another persons feelings and instead of them causing more pain and abuse they should seek help but they usually don’t because they can become successful in life and can eventually find someone that they can overpower into marriage and people get trapped in the cycle of pain and depression that is inevitable with a narcissistic personality. But what’s most scary is the thin line that sometimes leads to physical abuse. So it’s very important to know this information and be wary of people that tick these boxes.

@@TheCynicalJay I don’t think they target people on purpose. I think they want love and a relationship but they don’t know how to go about it. They want the food from the relationship without changing, without growing, without shattering their world view that they’re the best ever. And sometimes, they subconsciously know which people will give them that, and it only ever ends in hurt for the person they chose. So when we say “there’s a type of person they target” what we mean is “there’s a type of person who protects their toxic worldview the most and the narcissists are drawn to that for self preservation.” Target is just fewer words

Understanding another’s emotions/feelings and empathy are two different things. Empathy requires understanding, yes, but it goes deeper. Empathy is similar to sympathy; both understand (logically) how emotions work, and both involve actively “feeling” another’s emotions as if they were your own. Sympathy, however, comes from personally experiencing something similar the one you’re sympathizing with. You can feel their feelings because you relate to their experience. Empathy doesn’t require a shared experience in order to feel those emotions. You can take on their emotions as if they were yours, as if you’d experienced something similar, even if you hadn’t. For instance, if you show someone with strong empathy an image of a broken leg, their brain will light up in the places which correlate with the physical pain of having a leg broken, even if they’ve never experienced a broken bone before. They may not feel the pain as strongly/intensely as they would had their leg actually been broken, but they feel it nonetheless. Someone who has sympathy, but isn’t as empathetic, actually needs to have broken a bone in order to recreate that sensation of pain in the brain. Basically, without having prior experience to use as a template, it’s more difficult for them to “feel” that pain accurately. They can logically understand the pain, they may even feel sorry for the person who actually has a broken leg, but they do not feel empathy for that person. Many people who are essentially psychopaths (lack empathy) have an expert understanding of emotions. They need to in order to mask their lack of empathy and/or manipulate others. Not all narcissists lack empathy, but they are more likely to have impaired empathy because they’re too preoccupied with themselves to actually be considerate of others.

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes, he is dr.porassss.

I didn't know that someone could look you in the eye, and LIE.

@@annchurchill2638 You have not met my brother yet ? He has conned people and banks for $ 800,000. dollars. IF, they find out you need love, or to feel special because mom and dad neglected you then they will take you for everything. Study Narcisism daily till you know that a liar is just one symptom of these witches, vampires and " Rosemarys Bay ."

​@@annchurchill2638scary but yes people do it all the time.

Yes this resonated with me ? So simples really x

Am I the Narc ! Wow sounds like myself

I‘m in the same boat here I hope your healing journey goes well and I‘m glad you‘re pushing through ❤️

Same. I'm the bad guy now. I was silent for so long because I didn't want to bad mouth her to my siblings. I was not grieving the same way they were. When I finally thought I could share my experiences with her, I was vilified and alienated. My brother isn't speaking to me; he seems to hate me. He picks fights anytime I'm around the family. I end up isolating, and I was recently told by a sibling that it's my problem for isolating. That THEY aren't telling me not to come around. HELLO??!! Why would I want to be around people who are invalidating and committed to misunderstanding me?

same boat here, but with my father, hope you’re doing well with it

Same boat with my mother. That's why it hit home when mistreatment seemed familiar...

In the same boat and waiting on mine to DIIIIIE! She’s 80 so not too much longer to go. Most evil human being I’ve encountered she is a truly awful person that has destroyed our family. My sisters and I are not close because she pitted us against one another as children (who was “the best” “prettiest” always told my older sister she was “too dark!!!!!”)

Empathy to everyone else may also be an act.

My ex is super charming with everyone else. But he also keeps his ringer off so people can’t get ahold of him. He only cares about people on HIS terms.

I'm happy Ur free now girl ❤ I don't know if people are narcs or not but I do know I could be a great victim, I always shut myself up my whole life to avoid causing too much issues for others....when I think about it now, I think all I did was suppress myself BC I'm used to being oppressed 😢 it's a sad truth, but it's a great revelation, we will be stronger than ever before!!!!! We got this ❤ now we know the truth and know better, we can be there for ourselves, like we always should've been taught to be.

Your comment sounds like I could have written it myself, isn't that feeling of self realization so scary and beautiful at the same time? It's amazing to finally feel free enough to take hold of the reins on our own lives, without constantly trying to stifle ourselves to please others or 'keep the peace.' "It's ok to say 'no.' You can always say 'no.'" - my fiancé, said in a very gentle and loving way after I had just vented about how I never felt like it was SAFE for me to tell anyone "No." I cried a lot but it was a good and healing kind of crying, nowhere near the horrible despaired crying I did with that narcissistic abusive ex. I hope you get to feel that sense of freedom, and I hope you get an abundance of stalwart self love and courage for standing up for yourself!

so u became a professional because of that longterm relationship ?

what is sad about someone whos fighting back and going therapy. thats positiv . nothing to be sad about. imo u shouldnt counseling. after i read your comment.

u wanna do revenge to narcisstist ? dude u suck

Do you have any advice on how to change a narcissist?

​@@syahidkacakyou cannot but Jesus can so leave and protect yourself

This is how i know who i am dealing with. No matter what i do helping them or not helping them they will always be nasty and mean with me. There is nothing you can do but just not have a relationship with them & tell them to back off of you & go live your life. Easier said than done

THIS!!!

That's what they do. Get a scholarship because of your good grades, but it's all, "Who the hell do you think you are?" 😥

@gwendolyn 💯 truth they monitor how you use the gifts they give you! Nuts. Grew up with a couple of narcs in the family. It does give one an edge when it comes to recognizing toxic people early on, but of course we’ve had to put up with a ton of crap along the way to earn that advantage 😘

Same,they can enjoy their old age all alone!!!!😊

Same

Me too❤

Wow I didn't realize my past trauma led me to my being with narcissists.I had my two front teeth knocked out by my second son's father.That is after I took him back even though he kicked me in the face.I ended up with another man who belittled me and my two sons and even broke my nose.Thank you for helping me understand why I stayed with so much abuse for over 30 years.I am trying to heal every day and thank God I got out before it was too late.

Same ❤

Almost same thing here. It was even worse when he began to make fun of me about it... Thank you for sharing that, it's good to know that I'm not the only one who experienced that side effect.

wow, that heavy! good work you!

😢sorry to hear this. They are so toxic

I use to do public speaking and now I have agoraphobia smh 😒

@@user-wh2bs9tp4y that's terrible, I'm sorry :(

You’re so right, things are so much harder when we’ve been abused in any way. It starts to change everything about us. But we have to fight to rebuild the self worth they tried to destroy you know? So proud of you for doing that hard work!

I had my 'dumb luck' - but I was already reacting to and challenging shitty behaviour. I just happened to need something once and they wouldn't help, making excuses, even blaming me, etc. I knew there is no relationship is your SO isn't there for you when you need them. This dumb luck was enough for me to finally wake up and end the situationship. Never looked back :)

Yep. I’m 38 and I’ve only recently started true healing even though I’ve been on the healing path for the past 5 years. My mom was an emotionally absent alcoholic and my stepdad was a sociopath who sexually abused me growing up. I’ve tried to commit suicide a few times in my life. I’ve been through a lot of pain and abuse. Thankfully I’m on the road to recovery. Idk if I’ll ever be fully recovered”normal” but maybe one day who knowz

Im discustion with my ex and mans. He always said this to me. But im complain because he gashlighting, silent treatmen, or block me. He always made sorry but he do that because my fault dont understands him. He have other activities homework and work. Im only want if we have same resting rilex free time, same online have time together. I dont want he reply again sudenly leave me without permision while chatting or vc me because im different time with him or late reply but he still online or online other application to chatting or vc with other persons. I want he caring to my feeling, situation, my time, my fight to comunicattion to better action to better relationship. Im asking my self now "what im convert or npd" 😩

Thanks for this post I attract these people cause my mom and sisters are so I attract so called friends people around me

Yes same happened to me, and flipped on me multiple times

I'm so sorry you dealt with that. I wish this is somehting that young folks are taught so they know how to recognize what is happening.

Im going thru this similar journey😢 im far away from him but his venomous words and actions haunt me day and night even a year later....😢

After 22 year marriage, it has taken 10 years to quiet his voice in my head. Be gentle with yourself.

I'll be praying for your healing in every part of you. From the inside out. Going through the same thing here gathering information to learn how to heal. God Bless you!

It's shocking how similar narcissistic abuse stories are and how long it took some of us to get out. Someone else in the comments said it took 22 years and that's how long it took me to leave for good. There is healing on the other side.

I went through this with a person I wasn't even in a relationship with. And another person I kind of dated was also abusive towards me (or so I thought, idk what he did but kind of abusive at times, but a lot of stuff I know was this guy who didn't even want commitment and ghosted me while going out with another woman)

Or Push you out, by making life impossible with them.

@@frankly1744 Workplaces will do this to you too. Had a narc boss that wanted me gone because I called her out when I was defending a coworker. Boss removed all my job responsibilities and gave them to other workers so I basically had no work. Boss had no grounds to fire so just ignored that I was there. I was left out of meetings and parties and all communication. Boss acted like a 4 year old. I got another job and quit which is exactly what my boss wanted. That boss has a revolving door of staff and never once 'fired' anyone. Just forced each one out when they caught on to what the boss was.

Same thing but for 23yrs, ended it with a text after weeks of silent treatment

I tried to leave. Then my ex begged me to try couples counseling as a last ditch attempt to make things work. I wanted to see what he would do so I could see if he could change. The counselor asked him to step up to the plate. He refused and then discarded me. It's so mixed up and confusing in that I was dumped by a man who I no longer wanted to be with but was willing to give one last chance to him. Breaking up with him made me wonder if I was cruel and wrong to leave him, being dumped by him made me feel like I had been devalued because something was wrong with me. Escaping a narcissist feels like a no win situation at first but it gets better with time. It's slow but it's worth it. Strength and warm hugs to all survivors who are healing.

Your intuition just isn’t convinced that all is good. You’re at fight or flight most of the time. It’s very shaky trust. Omg, I get that so much!!!

Your body knows before your mind does. I would get stomach pain after almost every time I was spending time with him. It was horrible.

​@@liona1982Same here~!

Seems everyone can relate sadly. Immense shame washes over me as I didn't love myself or have dignity,as many of my abusers actually laughed to my face & online!

I am in a similar position. & I know it's tough, so I'm proud of you❤

You described my exact journey. I have no clue who I am anymore.

I'm right there with you... been alone for 4 going on 5 yrs now. Doing a lot of healing and self love.

Like Madea says, I can do bad all by myself! Lol better to be alone than to be miserable, and take some time to love yourself! No shame in that! Look how many ppl have commented on this, so many ppl have been tricked, it’s def not just you! When you know better, you do better! ♥️

It's even worse when they are a member of your family. You get endlessly flogged by their words.

Same situation here. Stay strong.

And yet you decided to breed with him. Be honest, you found the red flags attractive

​@@theravenousrabbit3671And at least now she's no longer with him, it's not easy to survive a relationship let alone get away from one. She's understood she deserves better

@theravenousrabbit3671 that is a very shaming statement.

Unfortunately he sexually assaulted me and that’s how I became pregnant if your judgmental and condescending self ought to know.

I agree with you. I don't know if I have narcissistic behaviors. Things I thought were normal, I learned were not normal when I was an adult. I really grieve my childhood, it did not set me up for success as an adult but I am also proud of how far I have come. Much love to you!

I didn’t realize I had those traits until I lost someone special to me. He was the only one that has called me out on it. I still love him, at least I think, but I’m forcing myself to stay away from him. I need to figure out how to properly love someone

Good comment ❤

I was raised by narcissistic people myself. So recognizing it seems like normal to me. Plus I didn’t recognize boundaries. How could I? I just wanted to help everyone. Eventually if you are naïve enough your family will turn against you and betray you. I think this has been the biggest lesson, realizing that I wasn’t really ever loved. I really thought I was but I was always so uncomfortable around my family and no one listened to me. It’s been the biggest betrayal of my life ever and I have figured out how to finally live again. I’m just so at odds on so many levels I can’t live my best life. I don’t know how or if i ever did. I’m old and tired and supported by the one person who said and did many mean things but know I can’t do without financial support so I will be under his financial support until death. He knows it. It has been a double edged sword with depression. People judge. Awareness has been so slow and so many levels. I cling to God and making peace with myself and loving others and my cat and dog. I thought I escaped verbal abuse from my ex husband 20 years ago and I had no clue. That was the hardest and scariest thing I ever did in my life. I didn’t know my dad was an enemy. It has really helped to read everyone’s messages and listen to this video and calm message. God bless everyone, may you have strength and encouragement ❤

@@jamiezuzu7326 literally same story. I lost my entire family in the process of healing. It has been extremely painful to realize all of closest relationships were based on unhealthy conditional “love” which was actually deep emotional abuse. It broke my heart but opened my eyes. Now I am to scared to try to have a romantic relationship again because I was with covert narcissist who I thought really loved me for over two years only to find he was demon. It’s been traumatic to say the least … I have my peace now but I isolate to stay safe. I am happier alone, but I do wish I felt safe to make connections. Even friendships are difficult, and I find it hard to make friends. I really value my peace and health and kids, and career. I love my hobbies and gardening and helping at my kids school. I feel like if I focus on myself and my family that the healing will come and I will find a relationship eventually. Idk. Every time I met someone I find it extremely hard to trust and shut it down before I get hurt. It’s really hard.

Same same same 😢

I was raised by one too and had the same problem recognizing red flags.

I was also Hospitalized and nearly died. This was 12.6 years ago. God bless you. ❤

​@@jannlewandowski5540sorry to hear what you've been through, I know how unsafe, crazy and chaotic these relationships get.

Borderlines make perfect victims for Narcs bc we are so terrified of being abandoned we will put up with So Much. Our emotional instability can also make it so easy for the Narcs to paint us in a bad light

Same!!

I feel like narc parents cause my BPD and yes, we are like candy to narcissists, they have the intuitive gift of spotting us even when we are acting normal

wait what's wrong with "im sorry you feel that way", ive said it before to my boyfriend but thats only when i say something and he misinterprets it which makes him feel bad, i explain what i meant and apologize for the miscommunication

​@@waffler-yz3gw "I'm sorry you feel that way" implies that the way you feel is something you're choosing or doing to yourself instead of a reaction to how you are being treated. It also implies that they have no intention of attempting to empathize or change their behavior to stop doing the thing that is hurting you

That's because they don't want to be reminded of the truth and reality or bout just how evil and rotten they really are.

Yes!! I was always being told "you keep talking about how we have issues to work through but look at how great these last few weeks have been. You just like focusing on the negative" Meanwhile, we had been in an off and on relationship for YEARS!! I finally mustered up the courage to go through the awful process of getting divorced from him (it was literally the hardest thing ive ever had to do) after spending a decade in the relationship!

Same. "You always bring up the past. Let it go!" Yes, because we have the same arguments, just different fights. So, when I stupidly try to give examples of how I've asked for the behavior to change in the past? Boom. It's me who just can't move on. 🙄