" You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair," - john mulaneys father

honorable mention: "I gave you more money than the civil war cost, and you fuCKING SPENT IT ALREADY?!?!"

“so i leave the garage-mY OFFICE is in the gaRAGE”

Seeing him in a tshirt was the most jarring thing I’ve ever seen

I’m convinced he barely laughs because he’s the funniest person in the world and everything has already occurred to him

The BOY is 5’11 💀

lmao, the part about rudolf was so deep. "it doesn't erase the abuse", "fame and love are very different things"

*Prince Philip dies* Me: *W-what did John do?*

I think my favorite is "And he pushed me. He pushed me and he said, I am homeless, I am gay, I have aids, and I'm nEw In ToWn."

“I was fucking kidding”. Lmao

Something about the way John Mulaney talks is just so incredibly satisfying

You can just tell that Rudolph rant was burning in him for YEARS.

I want to preface this with the fact that I hope he's doing well, but imagine the emotional whirlwind of getting out a rehab just to have the entire internet start meming about you killing Prince Phillip

THAT INTERVIEW WITH CARDI B HASNT LEFT MY HEAD SINCE I SAW IT,,, ITS LIKE A FEVER DREAM

I like the very last scene because I feel like he’s trying to make cardi not feel uncomfortable

He lives rent free in my mind 😭💖🙌

my fav is “i gave u more money then the civil war cost and u FUCKING SPENT IT ALREADY” 😭😭😭

hearing john mulaney say he's 6'0 is like finding out jojo siwa is 5'9

how to tell if someone is bisexual: ask what they think about John mulaney

when i tell you i think about 0:17 every day, i am not exaggerating

The bits with john and cardi made me think.... what if they had a show together? Like.. buddy cop vibes except they're trying to pull off a heist. He's a professor and a single dad, she's working through a breakup and they meet bc cardi is getting a late college education :D no romance, bestie vibes only, they get really drunk and realise they both have been dreaming of getting rich through criminal means. Theft occurs, bonds are made, hijinks ensue

"I spent $120,000, HOW DARE you clap." Gets me every time.

“Now you know how Blanket Jackson feels” holy shit lmaooo

I was once on a Delta flight where they made us board and then told us the flight was delayed for several hours, and I am not joking when I say that that one bit played in my head the entire time on loop.

all the my wife jokes are making me sad now

i swear everything this tall child does just lives in my mind rent free

I swear I sing that Delta Airlines bit at least once every day

his little smile at the end just kills me

His sudden burst into laughter at 3:30 IS EVERYTHING

Love that he was hit with a therapy session out of nowhere and he could only say “ooo”.

This is super random but John should see the 2005 Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie all the grandparents have lines and personalities

"in case you've forgotten" is my fave expression of his, proper use of grammar is everything

Hearing John Mulaney is 6ft tall feels like a lie. In my heart he is just a little guy.

2:48 "you know he's 5'11!" "...what?" "THE BOY" I CANT BREATHE OH MY GODDD I LOVE THIS MAN

my favs always come back to "now what would leonard bernstein do" and "we dont have time to unpack ALL of that" but i love these too

That flammable comment always gets me

“did John Mulaney kill princess Di?” “oh-nOo that was sO long ago”

"Because we're Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking N I G H T M A R E~~~"

I talk to my therapist the way John talks to an audience, and I just wanna say that if I had to steal my personality, or phone speaking voice in this case, from anyone.. I’m proud that I subconsciously chose him. 😌

"My nana drove me to the prom :)" -John Mulaney

JOHN MULANEY IS MYYYYY HEIGHT???? IVE GONE A DECADE THINKING HE WAS A 5’6 TWINK

The little bee on his tie, I can't

He killed 3 people and I like this guy He was talking about JD wasn't he

looked up john mulaney and sorted by newest, went clicc on the first result, and i dont regret it, this was super well put together, nu sub :D

“Now you know how Blanket Jackson feels” criminally underrated!

“I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austin. And I didn’t.”

1:15 how did they get live footage of me in therapy

I'm cracking up because my family and I have had full heated conversations about how the bullying of Rudolph got brushed over nearly every December. 😂

So we not gonna talk about how 4:54 was pretty deep ngl💀

the way he lives rent free in my brain always

"and he looks like a turtle" idk why but that got me

John has come so far in his comedy. He used to be so scared to be vulnerable in his specials, and now in his latest one he is so vulnerable and sweet and real.

He didn’t kill her, he was over on the bench

2:10 Timothee Chalamet took John Mulaney's wife and his best friend Pete Davidson haha....sorry John

1:01 & 1:11 Me when the villain is my favorite character in a series:

Looking back at all of his old comedy and seeing how much he mentions cocaine and crack is actually kinda scary

Every time he brings up being an English major my family members and friends just look at me because I am an English major

“There’s a HORSE LOOSE in the HOSPITAL”

this tall child has my whole heart

1:16 Iconic moment. Stephen Colbert is a very good interviewer and John Mulaney as a guest is just perfect entertainment.

*I'm so used to see him in suits all the time, that if you told me that he came out of his mom with a mini suit and a mic I wouldn't even question it*

Me: he sounds like Andrew from Big Mouth Me: oh wait

With recent events and this vid, Im kind of worried about him. He seems like he holds in a lot of pain.

"We're Delta airlines, and Life is a fucking nightmare" is iconic

Ever since I saw the Chalamet clip I’ve exclusively referred to him as The Boy.

ugly laughed at ‘I am slick,’ just the way it slipped out

"Just water for me, and tremendous anxiety"

“Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is f*ckin nightmare” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

i love johns laugh more than life itself

I think about John Mulaney doing coke in his college dorm room while listening to Steely Dan probably twice a week

As an English major there is nothing more true but I love it

1:06 everyone in AHS

The fact he’s 6ft tall doesn’t sit right w me... if I met him in person he would be 4 inches taller than me- he gives off short energy I’m sorry

The fact he's 6 feet tall gave me whiplash, i legit thought he was like 5'4 💀

My intrusive thoughts are voiced by John Mullaney

We always thought he was on something, but it's still wierd now knowing definitively that he was on stuff in every single one of these clips

Honerable mentions: "You spend a lot of your day telling a robot that you're not a robot. Think about that for 2 minutes and tell me you don't wanna walk into the ocean." "Or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes. Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards. Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake, and then barfs it up. And he would just keep talking, and it would slowly fade out, and say 'Executive Producer: Dick Wolf.' " "What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You sPENT IT ALREADY!?" "Do you want...a Best Buy rewards card?"

Idk why but the way he says "i was FUCKING KIDDING" is absolutely hilarious to me

I hurts that this is in my recommendations immediately after the dave chapelle thing... I loved him :/

John Mulaney is like that one thought you've had in the middle of like a nap who just comes back to you at the worst times just to make you laugh, math test "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair" driving "YOU F*CKING SPENT IT ALREADY!!" Talking to that one family member "Life is a f*cking nightmere"

It's amazing to see how many clues about his addiction were there all along. 😮

3:31 yknow i haven’t heard him laugh until this come to think of it

John Mulaney english major bit made me realize becoming a literature major would not stop me from disappointing my family (not because he is a disappointment, but because I dont truly want it and wouldn't work with it), but at least I didn't lose my time and money in a major I didn't want. Thank you, John

I love when Pete and John hang out they’re so funny together

“THE BOY. HE’S 5’11!”

My school is doing a production of Willy wonka and when he mentioned grandpa George I cackled because George is one of our comedic side characters

0:04 i love his “OH.”

You know, John Mulaney would be pretty good in a detective role from a comedy movie

1:15 damn that aged incredibly

John Mulaney and Katya from drag race are on the same edge of the spectrum

1:22 "✨oOuh✨"

“Ooh…”

i hate that i know he was talking about willy wonka and the chocolate factory.

I love this man so much! Thank you for this video! ✨

I love his reaction to the Princess Diana thing. John we all know you did it, you don’t have to deny it anymore

I hope Anna Marie gets with Timothee Chalamet

1:18 I also said "Ooh..", thinking about myself, the exact same time John did...get out of my head, Stephen!..

the way this just got recommended to me :(

2:10 divorce explained.

I love John.. ❤️♥️♦️🙌🥰