Is Anxiety Ruling Your Family?

Рет қаралды 26,265

10 ай бұрын

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A man whose wife is emotionally neglectful
- A woman terrified her daughter will repeat her mistakes
- A wife whose husband won’t get help for his anxiety and depression
Preorder John's new book, Building A Non-Anxious Life, now for $20 and get $75 in FREE bonus items. bit.ly/BNALPreorder
Enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway for a chance to win $3,000! bit.ly/TDJDSgvwy
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com)We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudsleep.com/delony
- Hallow - www.hallow.com/delony
- Thorne (25% Off Orders) - www.thorne.com/u/delony
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/).
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp.com/delony and get on your way to being your best self.
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Watch and subscribe to all the Ramsey Network shows here: / theramseysh. .
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...

Пікірлер: 85

@psalmbird6187 Ай бұрын

Its good to hear that a therapist can open up about who they listen to. Friends are more important than therapists.

@bestbudsourchannel4807 10 ай бұрын

"Don't take the bricks out of your backpack and hit your kids with them." Wow, powerful. And, no smart phone for my kids either! They'll be enjoying life with their monitored flip phones for years to come!

@nathaliebasile6168 9 ай бұрын

What a nice guy ! I am a woman who has been … abused … and when I met my sweet husband who respected me deeply … he passed away … I was enjoying my sexual intimacy with him and was so grateful for it …

@britneyog9537 10 ай бұрын

I have been selfish in my marriage. I have been dismissal. Most of which I didn't realize until my husband gently told me. I listened. I hurt for hurting him. I love him. We have worked hard in these 12 years of marriage. I feel bad for this man.. she is breaking him.

@janelleg597 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for loving your husband and being willing to change.

@benascg-ll7sq 4 ай бұрын

Touched by your comment and the deep loving kindness it conveys. There are two kinds of hurting, by ignorance and by intention (narcissism, entitlement...) and more than 50 shades in between. I feel total empathy for the first caller. I've been there.

@Caroline-ez8ls Ай бұрын

The fact that you’re willing to look at yourself and own yourself is saying so much about your character. WOW. Thank you for posting your comment. That gives so much hope for change to actually be attainable.

@Jenny.April01 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your show Dr. Delony and being so real and raw! You are a blessing to so many in need.

@artemisp340 10 ай бұрын

Ok, now I need a parenting book from you Dr. ☺️☺️

@Ketsile 10 ай бұрын

I listen to show every day before going to bed.This has been great addition to my life

@kamronkhan 10 ай бұрын

I remember the call Dr. Delony is talking about! I hope that women is doing well. 😢

@amyfuller3801 10 ай бұрын

I do too, and very much appreciate hearing that the company stayed connected and helped her. I also appreciate hearing about John's later reaction and what he was hearing about and feeling on his end. And awesome job, Kelly, for getting John involved! That was incredibly fast thinking and probably helped a great deal.

@coachclaudiawith_hope 10 ай бұрын

First caller, sounded like they might not of not known each other well. They moved too fast perhaps and now he is getting to see the true her. I experienced the same in my marriage. I am sorry that happened to him.

@RiverPaisley 3 ай бұрын

“Demand kills desire.” Decent quote to remember.

@butterflysandrainbows4444 10 ай бұрын

Delony reminds me of that song. Stay Humble and kind.

@YolandeSteynFamily 10 ай бұрын

Hi Dr John, Our entire family is in the depression and anxiety rollercoaster, all but my husband have been admitted to get a better handle on our meds. I really appreciate the way in which you handle people in general and how you never judge anyone, whether the caller or the party not represented. My issue at the moment is still trying to find a new normal for my family because what we were doing was not working. I have moved my kids out of school as one is Visually impaired and the other has ADHD. The online home based schooling they get now is causing less anxiety. I am just worried that besides myself, no one is doing their "homework" from the facility nor from our various therapists. I am really trying to keep anxiety at bay with doing my breathing, doing my meditation and doing something artistic so I can hyper-focus (I also have ADHD) and forget about other stuff. I am also filling my cup by going to our local dog shelter where we adopted out doggies from years ago once a week so I can also feel there is purpose to my life. The reason I went in in the first place was because everything had become too much for me, especially when my mother died whom I was living in fear of. I love the way you explain it like your body knew how to survive, and I am not in the process of trying to show my body it is safe and I can love someone wholeheartedly. I also had a few years where our sex life was not the greatest, but the last year or two it was fiscally painful to me but I kept on looking for the reason and self-diagnosed 2 conditions that happens when you're in your late 40's and had twins. I went to GP who told me that my "diagnosis" doesn't exit. I then went to a physio and finally was acknowledged that it is a thing and she gave me exercises to do, my husband is super supportive and we are starting😊 to slowly get comfortable with each other and taking it slow.

@jillc1369 10 ай бұрын

Another great show Dr Delony! Thank you

@jilljoseph8648 10 ай бұрын

If my mom were still alive, I would play the advice Dr. John gave Eileen and we would cry together and hug one another

@k4xxxminecrafter792 10 ай бұрын

I love your vulnerable realness. Bless you and your family in everything you need and want!!!

@k4xxxminecrafter792 10 ай бұрын

Dr. Delony~. Thank you! Thank you! Your real and raw wisdom is like no other!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

@carolannstevens5814 9 ай бұрын

Dr. John I love your heart to help us! Thank you!

@Jmc989 10 ай бұрын

From what he said, the wife is very uncaring and has walked out. No excuse for how she is treating him; however, from everything he said, there is definitely some trauma and/or mental illness on her end.

@IFBBProYeo 2 ай бұрын

Might be trauma, But I highly doubt it's mental illness. I think she just doesn't like him anymore. But if she's ever going to have a successful relationship, she's going to have to talk to somebody and discover why the love stopped.

@peterlee584 10 ай бұрын

I yhink Joe's eife is being cold and emotionally abusive.. It's slmost as though dhe's punishing him for thevtrauma that her first husband supposedly inglictef on her. That's cruel and unfair. Especially, since he seems to be a decent man who genuinely wants the best for her.

@ginnicronin4916 4 ай бұрын

Ok! Now I am crying 😭 the story of you and your daughter.

@martarico186 4 ай бұрын

I really appreciate your input, Dr. DeLong. You are very informative and intuitive and kind. One observation from someone who respects your position very much, you bring in a lot of personal comparisons to the table which seem helpful but it's not about you. The person you are speaking with and you are two different situations and people.

@lrhodes9612 10 ай бұрын

Already ordered my copy of your latest book. The pre-sale talk was powerful! ❤

@fleetofwjs1893 10 ай бұрын

Dr. John stating facts on that first call. I lived through the same situation as Joe, and it suuuuucks. I think the low point was when my oldest daughter told me she thought my wife was emotionally abusing me and didn't care about me, and I realized how much the kids (still young at the time) saw and understood. Great advice to go sit with someone who cares about your family (all of you, including her), figure out what to do next, and then be all in about it. I am sad at times about the life I had hoped for and didn't get with her, but I don't regret how I dealt with it once I faced the reality and decided to do what I thought was best for all of us (including her). Good luck Joe, and remember those boys are watching.

@zipsidian 10 ай бұрын

Hahah Dr John and his daughter, best of luck to you buddy with that!

@rchi3906 10 ай бұрын

Good Show

@hadenanderson563 10 ай бұрын

What if a violent, terrible person busts in the home in the night and hubby saves the day? Is that being too sensitive and needy? How about if the intruder is breaking in and the wife is terrified and the husband says, "Nah. I don't feel like it. I don't have time. You will be fine." Consider that, and please don't make it too deep.

@kikatk332 10 ай бұрын

Wow the first women 😮 wtf... Have respect for your husband or officially leave him and let him find a women who is worth his time and love

@2crickle 10 ай бұрын

I am so happy that I found this show with the girl that has a husband dealing with anxiety and depression because I am going through the exact same thing. I don’t know what to do anymore either. He has been dealing with this for at least 10 years and it has gotten worse through the years. It is destroying me and my 13 year old daughter and I am to the point where I don’t want to be in my house anymore. Such bad energy. I have told him he needs help a couple of times. I guess I might just have to speak with someone he confides in and see if they can get him to get help.

@aimercab8630 10 ай бұрын

That poor boy! IYKYK 😢

@Mik35959 9 ай бұрын

This strikes so close to home I left a voicemail my situation is really a lot more complex with parental alienation and brainwashing my children as well as her continued inability to move past the divorce and support a living relationship not only with me but with my parents. They used to see my kids every day. They have seen them maybe 6 times in 3 years and my father is diminishing rapidly with dementia and Alzheimer’s and if they don’t have the opportunity to spend time before it’s too late I’ll be the blame for that as well. I really need help please.

@TCAPRecipes 10 ай бұрын

Caller one is living my worst nightmare.

@selah5792 10 ай бұрын

Feelings😮😊

@eileenfuentes6975 3 ай бұрын

I was listening and was like did he just say my name? Lol❤😂

@barbmautner9869 3 ай бұрын

You shouldn’t hate to tell him the truth …. Someone needs to tell him. He is not getting it …

@roosplans 10 ай бұрын

Its difficult to come up with a conclusion with only one side to the story.. Either way, it sounds like his wife needs therapy for sure. Especially if she was abused.. For the lady that thinks her kids are going down the same path she is there is a lot she can do. For teens, they're not going to listen to her when she's trying to lecture them. She should get a family counselor to help her..she needs to help herself so that she can be the best mother for her kids.

@KoolT 10 ай бұрын

DR PHIL said same thing, do you really expect to be married to this man for the rest og your life and not have sex. 😮

@nikstar1313 2 ай бұрын

My mother did that … refused to sleep with my dad and treated him like a tapist.. she would also SO angry when my father wanted to access her for intimacy or a prostitute even for a release. She wouldn’t leave him bc she received his hefty war pension.. I’m 48 with cptsd and just went no contact 3.5 years ago 🎉❤

@aimercab8630 10 ай бұрын

Lady! He took you on with three children!!! And you left him because HE...blah blah blah... No abuse to speak of. Some women can be so ungrateful 😔.

@nathansimpson5721 10 ай бұрын

*Aileen gets pregnant at 16* "maybe we should do that again" *gets pregnant at 17* "maybe we should do that again" etc.

@ambernelli7791 10 ай бұрын

I have a family member like that. 3 kids with a terrible guy all before 20. 🙄

@benascg-ll7sq 4 ай бұрын

Lesson for the first caller : affirming and honoring who he is including his needs. Having an affair to find some inner balance is definitely an option and it works great as an exit strategy from a toxic marriage. It takes robust planning and strong expectations management (the purpose of the affair is to regain inner balance and sense of aliveness )

@IFBBProYeo 2 ай бұрын

19:30 Well if she's saying that he's too emotional and needy... Damn that really sucks to hear. But what if she's craving a more direct and masculine approach? Maybe instead of asking he just comes and takes it? Might be pretty hot! Don't come for me guys. I'm just brainstorming! If she doesn't want to go to church, that's one thing, But not caring that you were in an accident is another. It does seem like she's taking on more of the masculine and logical approach, so maybe that's where he needs to step into it into? She definitely needs to talk to someone though.

@nikstar1313 2 ай бұрын

No such thing as too sensitive I think 🤔

@ireneswackyjournals8810 10 ай бұрын

So most times women are the victims. But if you see actions that contradict that, and make you feel like they are the emotional abusers careful. Because they can have a personality disorder and are the abuser. If they dismiss you in everything they are a problem. And she can actually be traumatized, but honestly she needs to go to the psychologist by her wee self. It’s not on him. Only thing that may be the case is okay she’s lost energy and has too much work but I’m a feminist when I say this: women you have the same brain and can have communication skills…. You can talk like an adult and call out your own issues so the partner can work to make things better. Also some abuse victims become the abusers out of trauma, because they don’t take the time to go into psychological therapy

@ireneswackyjournals8810 10 ай бұрын

Also I don’t blame her on the church. She may not agree with it. Nor do I. But it can also be some trauma with it too

@KoolT 10 ай бұрын

Narcissistic people are on the rise and females are about EVEN with men now.

@KoolT 10 ай бұрын

Often BORDERLINE but sometimes just spoiled brat narcs.

@Ryan-wx1bi 10 ай бұрын

You say it like it's a drastic difference between men and women being abusers, which isn't accurate at all. Depending on what statistic you look at it's usually a difference of 21% of men to 28% of women being abused, which isn't a huge difference. Then couple the fact that most men get laughed at for being abused, so they just don't say anything, nor are there any facilities for men being abused, like there is for women.

@ireneswackyjournals8810 10 ай бұрын

@@Ryan-wx1bi I’m talking in relations to when there is a problem and a woman had a trauma with a previous relationship. Thing is that even if it’s trauma, if it’s repeated relationships they probably have a trauma that stems from their own fathers. But fail to go to good therapists.

@bffoxjr 3 ай бұрын

Caller 1: funny how past trauma that keeps a woman from wanting sex doesn't seem to come up until after kids are born.

@cathyosullivan718 10 ай бұрын

I’m curious what age is appropriate for teens to begin dating. Most people I grew up with were going on dates @ 14.

@tinam761 10 ай бұрын

I don’t know what’s exactly appropriate… I could go on group date/activities at 15. One-on-one at 16. Any earlier really is just too soon.

@cathyosullivan718 10 ай бұрын

Yeah. Me too but I was a late bloomer compared to most people I know. I thought it would be okay to go on dates like a movie or restaurant at 14 (like innocent dates).

@blueseptember2174 10 ай бұрын

You date to find a spouse. So no one younger than 18 needs to date really. Just do group activities and get to know one another. Even then slow engagements are good because our brain still grows past twenty.

@show_me_your_kitties 7 ай бұрын

No way at 14. My daughter is 16, I am fortunate that she is focused on her academics/extra-curricular activities and has not shown interest in romantic endeavors. However, if she did, she would not be aloud to go on a date unsupervised until she is 18 and is an adult.

@joeystewart4487 22 күн бұрын

John you give too much license for divorce

@dabd8175 10 ай бұрын

Females listen up and take in today's message!

@ireneswackyjournals8810 10 ай бұрын

This isn’t about females. This is about any spouse. Had he been a she and the husband was the dismissive one, the same would apply. The church is a separate topic because I think that needed to be a conversation prior to marriage. She may not agree with religion or she may have traumas on that front. However, all other things such as dismissing his feelings would be a problem as well if it was a male dismissing his wife

@dabd8175 10 ай бұрын

@@NewNew44519 keep coping 😂

@KoolT 10 ай бұрын

True. You can't just marry someone and cut them off. Kid's often exhaust women especially if they work. But take time for date's. My father took my mother out to eat for dinner every SATURDAY night for year's

@ireneswackyjournals8810 10 ай бұрын

@@KoolT you mean the dating stuff. Yeah but now a days we move so far away from parents that women can’t call up moms and go “take care of the kid I’m going in a date”. And we should. All relationships need mom and dad time. Even if both do 50%/50% house and child rearing. The original relationship dynamic changes and we need to have a couple time. Once a week, some romancing, flowers, some restaurants some spontaneous stuff…. But the emotional thing in this relationship is I think the even bigger issue. And that can happen with both sex. Where one isn’t really there or present

@ambernelli7791 10 ай бұрын

Nice to see you still around commenting. 😂😂😂

@Paradise-on-Earth 10 ай бұрын

Does John have to kick himself all the time- as calling himself "just a clown"...? I would SO MUCH MORE appreciate, if he would learn, and be a rolemodel, for being gracefully proud of himself.

@blackopsrocky622 10 ай бұрын

It’s just jokes… he’s constantly talking about how he loves himself and the things he does that shows that he loves himself. That IS him being a role model. Being able to poke fun at yourself without actually believing what you’re saying shows that you’re comfortable with who you are and that it doesn’t bother you… you’re just seeing it completely wrong 😂

@girlygirl1890 10 ай бұрын

@@blackopsrocky622 I would have left the exact same comment as you just have. You are 1,000% dead on with what you said. Trust me...John KNOWS his value. You are right. He's just being humble and poking fun at himself at the same time.

@blackopsrocky622 10 ай бұрын

@@girlygirl1890 Exactly! Thank you for your comment, I just find it so ironic that the original commenter is saying he (John) isn’t a role model when he very, VERY much is. I don’t mean this as any sort of insult but some people just only focus on the negatives while ignoring/remaining completely oblivious to the positives 😵‍💫🤷‍♂️

@girlygirl1890 10 ай бұрын

@@blackopsrocky622 I just smiled at your second comment as well. Spot on! Okaaaay stop it! (lol).

@joborn1204 4 ай бұрын

I've never heard this host be so blunt and not focus on the caller. He didn't ask any questions about his side of it like so you help her, do you bring her joy, etc. He didn't focus on saving the marriage and talk about what he can do. He basically sounded hopeless but but importantly have men the fuel to blame so problems on the wife for not caring? Wth? That's a reason she doesn't want to be around him and usually this host helps the caller see what he/she can do but this time it was totally ion the wife who admittedly had suffered a sexual trauma. He didn't even correct him for not believing her because she never told anyone else or how fearful she was to face it at the counselor. I'm very disappointed that misogyny and bro code raised it's ugly head. People have literally had multiple affairs, and he's talked about how to work through that but this guy's wife just doesn't care because she doesn't respond to him "sitting her down to talk" or didn't come to his wreck with 3 little kids.