Exactly. There are so many players in the dating pool who make a profession out of lying. Especially in the pool of late 30s-40s single men who have never married. Many of them have inherently been dodging commitment for decades.

No TRUER WORDS...!!

Yep. Or the dishonesty is carried out in a way completely foreign to you

"Abuser" is way too strong a word. He wasn't into it once they met for real. He was weak about how he handled it.

I would say our discernment can *never* be fine, if our abuser is a very good liar. But I see what you meant.

Amen Sister

They do get better!

EXACTLY

Yes... I always appreciate that about Anna. It always brings a Smirk😊 to my face and gives Hope...to both writer and ALL listening. Thanks Anna ❤

​​@@CrappyChildhoodFairy See my note above 😊

No one should be waiting around years for someone cuz that person is trying to take it that slow. I’d say 6 months to a year if they can’t decide then I’d say move on, otherwise they can just end up wasting your time. That’s why personal boundaries are so important

​@@Diarrheagod Amen🎉

Exactly The Let's take it Slow so convenient for them

If a guy is in to you, he will never let you free aa bird for months. He is looking for a better catch. When a person likes you he acts like it. Cristal clear no strange situations. Little boys act like that.

I was talking to a guy that hid his phone nr on telegram. I was like im so done with this crap. 😂 before i would have lingered, as hes quite handsome, but now it took me a week to realize were not for each other.

​@@etcwhatever WAY TO GIRL. PROUD OF YOU🎉

you can get that, it helps so much to have support and the course Anna created helps a LOT :) bit.ly/CCF-Dating -Cara@TeamFairy

I feel the same! So much the same.

Same here❤

🎯

Probably married to someone in another country. Been there. : (

Or he has some kind of criminal record he is trying to hide... 😨

I was disappointed.. should have learned SOONER

Guys really project their poor behaviors on women. They just can’t fathom we don’t operate like scum bags like they do.

I can relate to this.

pick up artists "spin plates" and want a woman they can pimp out like andrew tate did

@HD DH You're being a little harsh. Meeting a potential partner in real life is not an easy option for everybody. Some times there just isn't very many single, suitable and available people around. I know I haven't met a lot. Sometimes people are shy or introvert and need time to open up to others and they may find it easier online where they can communicate in writing. Other than that, I think you're right.

@HD DH Yes it is being a little harsh. You seem to think that if you can do it, so can everyone else. That's not how it works. Shy or introvert or insecure people don't just walk over to other people and strike up a conversation. They might not know how to flirt and make someone understand that they're interested. They might not even have a lot of friends or feel good about going out. By writing with someone for a while they get to feel more secure and connected with that person before actually having that first awkward conversation face to face.

​​@HD DH im 33. Everyone in the surronding churchs on the prayer groups are above 50yrs old. And most are retired (65+). I could if i wanted since many look at me that way and comment on how beautiful i am 😂. No thanks 😂 So instead of looking for a possible catholic guy on the internet on my age range (10years and less of a difference), im supposed to be with a man 30 years older than me but in real life. Very good. Very easy to talk 😂😂😂

@HD DH plenty of people meet people on internet. It’s not in 80s, internet is not a special tool but just a one of the Community and communication tools. You can be deceived by meeting in real face to face too. Yes you should be very careful especially it’s sometimes easier to hide identity on internet, but meeting real life won’t guarantee you nothing either

Nice to have a man responding. Thx

I had to scratch my head at this one. You mean “no relationship” as in not being in one.

Yes, they see it as just what you have to do to ''get sex''. They feel like it's going to work. They do not believe that they're doing anything wrong. So exhausting for women on the receiving end of it.

Add the 60+ age group to this also

@@SusanaXpeace2u coercion vitiates consent

So sorry this happened to you :(

I hope guilt eats him alive.

That may require something like EMDR trauma therapy. That’s so hard I’m so sorry. The book The Grieving Brain explains ghosting from the brain’s functions when your ghosted.

@@weareadventuresam Thich Nhat Hahn and meditation saved me. It's been 15 years and now I'm grateful. Never give up! You are worthy. 💞

@@jainetu thank you. 💞 It was traumatic at the time, but I'm grateful for it now. 😊

Great insight, good work! -Cara@TeamFairy

nonono, people treat you the way THEY are. It's not your fault that you got mistreated, there's nothing you could've done to change it, at best you could make him interested in faking it for longer, but that also hurts you and those people aren't ever interested in someone with healthy boundaries because they are takers. The thing about boundaries is that healthy partners won't mind them and crappy ones will only see it as "things they won't get from you"

I'm so glad the channel has been helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

So very sorry that happened to you. I have been through something similar. It hurts so much

How did it end?

Yeah, we’re curious 😬

@@funkymunky She married during that time and had a daughter. She contacted me while she was in the middle of divorcing her husband. We exchanged a few text messages and phone calls. She said that she made a mistake and wanted to get together with me after her divorce was finalized. Something about her timing didn't sit well with me and I felt like I was just being used for emotional support during her divorce. I ended up ghosting her since I felt disrespected, and never returned any of her messages. It's been 3 years... Too bad, I really liked her when we first started dating!

I know you addressed your question to Anna. Which makes me a breaker of another point she often makes: Don't offer unsolicited advice. So I won't advise. Just share This is what's happened with me on my journey so far: At first I played these videos 24/8!! All night all day. I was hungry for info and to figure this whole nightmare out. I needed to reprogramme my faulty subconscious programming. Kept watching All The Time, in the shower, walking, sleeping eating... Then diversified into other related topics ( like polyvagal nerve theory and Exercises) and teachers and began to practice the things suggested. I slept like 3 hours a night all summer. I was so intensively focused on Healing I just meditated through the night, learning learning, learning, working on it!! Urgency overtook me. Then one day, about 16 months in, I thought of Film Noir and wondered why I hadn't watched a good old black n white in over a year!? I tried to watch things other than Narc Stuff but they held no interest. I got fidgety and needed Lisa's voice or😕Anna's advice to stay feeling safe and productive. Went back to watching videos on this exclusively. Then naturally, as I got clearer on what had happened, why and what I was doing to fix it, slowly I NOTICED I WAS watching other stuff, and doing other stuff and feeling pretty consistently good. At that point I challenged myself to develop a new interest and came up blank, so I downloaded all 4 seasons of I Dream of Jeannie and developed an addiction to that theme song and that sound she makes when she blinks lol. When I discovered my parent's narcissistic parenting style was why I had been available for the narc bf, Back to the videos!! But now- they are like going home - to a healthy home! I check in when I'm feeling insecure or unsure or just want a familiar, friendly voice of reason, or reinforcement and refinement of my knowledge base. That amounts to a few every day, still, but😩🔥I am finding myself unsubscribing in a semi-annoyed brush- off kinda way, whenever the word Narcissist shows up in my feed!! It's a process. It takes time. Thank God these wonderful people are here when we need them🎉❤ Thanks Anna

That is a question that isn’t asked often enough 🤍🙏🏻

You’ll know when it’s time. The content and / or the word Narcissist will make you feel like a vampire to garlic.

@@KosmicN. that’s where I’m at, it annoys the heck out of me, but my issues were never really oriented around narcissist. Avoidants, yes, but outright narcissist. Not so much. I’m of the codependent, fear of abandonment variety. I wonder at what point watching these videos just becomes a crutch or even self sabotage.

Now would be my guess. They just trigger me. I know what she did (narcissist ex) and how awful people can be. They are flooding my feed

Thats great to hear! You are always welcome here. Jack@Teamfairy

Yes, all genders do this for sure. -Cara@TeamFairy

Me too! Is that a common thing?!

Also, as an avoidant myself, his “men should do the chasing” thing was code for “stop bothering me”

Me too! I've had a handful of "mild" stalking experiences from ex boyfriends, that I just don't want to reveal my last name right out of the gate. The only social media I'm still on is YT, so there's no personal acct/info available for look up. And, as far as I'm concerned, I don't need to give my last name unless I can trust you.

~Yes, i dont feel safe giving out my last name that casually....kinda like i dont feel safe telling new people where i live....

Personally I never reveal my fear of ghosting or abandonment because some people will definitely use it against you.

I agree, Yes! Anna’s frames are so flattering for her. Mel Robbin’s frames are, in my opinion, too masculine and not fitting to her face. Thanks for sharing.

True that

I have literally dozens of videos on this, and a course. Please explore my channel and website!

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Lots of help in our community! -Cara@TeamFairy