Connection is harder when you get older but you learn that spending time alone it gives you a great feeling and sense that something positive will come. I’ve traveled to Paris alone and I didn’t know how I’d feel but it gave me a greater appreciation of living life.

Libra introvert here too, if i get an invite out or in im really happy but then spend the time leading up to it hoping they will cancel. If i do go then i enjoy it so im not sure why im like this. I always think i want to be home and alone then get sad when i see people out enjoying themselves. I really confuse myself x

Thanks for opening up the floor on this Jessica. As a HSP too, I have found that more resently Ive withdrawn into myself alot more. The friendships I made years ago, now no longer serve me as we are all in different places, physically and emotionally and our priorities have changed so much. But I have found it so incredibly hard to make new friends. I spent the last year trying to open myself up to new friendships, and put alot of effort into a few people, hoping they would be friends, and found that once I stopped persuing the friendship, that it fizzled out, which made me feel awfully sad and even more alone than before. I particularly feel the weight of that sadness when its either nice weather, or I have some time off, separate from my partner. Also would like to say that if anyone reads this and can relate, feel free to reach out. Thanks again Jessica, looking forward to the next video

This video really resonated with me. I just moved to Portugal from Northern California after a divorce. My old friends have been great through this time of change, but are all long distance now. Making new friends I've found takes a different level of energy than spending time with old friends. I'm struggling a bit with accumulating the energy for putting myself out there during this transition. On some days it's just easier to do everything with the dog! I'm working on being intentional about where I put my energy since I'm very aware I only have a limited amount at this stage. Enjoying watching your journey in Paris.

Hi Jessica 😘 This speaks to me on so many levels. I am 50 next year and I have a daily battle with connection. I’ve never really scratched below the surface of what/why/how but I feel I need to some inner exploration so that I can get the most out of the post-50 stage of my life. I think growing up on a very remote croft on a Scottish island has played a very significant part in my struggles with connection. I had no one (aside from my two brothers) to play with and school was the only other place where I could interact with peers, yet that was not a happy place for me and I endured bullying and loneliness. So childhood yes…. that’s definitely a factor. The irony is that, as I’ve moved through life, I have worked in managerial jobs where I have had to be very sociable, outgoing and brave, for want of a better word. So it’s been a constant case of pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Whilst this seems to be doable (it’s almost like putting on my ‘uniform’ and becoming a different person) the fallout is that I get left with the overwhelm once I am on my own. Then kicks in the ‘loner existence’ you speak of where I could happily squirrel myself away for days/weeks. I turn down invitations, or accept them then cancel, which leaves me feeling so bad about myself. I don’t know how to marry these two sides of myself and don’t even get me started on ‘who I am’ as this confuses me so much! If I let myself go down a darker path I can sometimes feel like a nobody, a fraud as I feel like I don’t fit anywhere, yet if I can be these two opposites, is it a case that I am both?! I mean, if I’ve had a great time with friends or led a meeting which goes well, I do feel on a high and it gives me a heightened sense of being alive. I really want and need to address the balance that you and your followers comment on….. but how? Lots of love to you and your followers. I love this supportive and reflective community so much xxx

Libra Rising here too 🙋I resonate so much with what you shared. When you said how you want to connect and with whom, I would add and 'how often'? You totally spoke for me too about the I'm ok on my own, hermit/reclusive tendencies, but yes, it can get out of balance (anxious avoidant here too). The how often thing really plays into my need for solitude and to keep control of that if friends want more than I have or want to give. The healthy boundaries need to come into play which can be such an effort when fending off invitations when I prefer time alone (I have plans for that evening etc and they are to be alone, being creative, whatever). I also have energy issues after burn out some years ago so need to be careful. It's a tricky one! I'm enjoying your explorations of it all.

Patti Smith - Because the Night. It was my first and only great love and I fear I may never have an angel like that come into my life again. (She passed away a few years ago.)

Hi Jessica, I've been following your channel for a long time now. It's so lovely that Hope is with you. I moved from Dublin to London when I was only twenty (some years ago now 😂) I left my family and many close friends behind, and felt very lonely for years.😢 I really miss seeing your beautiful cottage, but it's great to see you following your dreams too. I really hope don't mind me saying this as I really mean it with a good heart, but please be very mindful when out and about on your own, especially at night. It's so easy to forget when just talking to a camera how many eyes are on you, and saying so much you are alone in Paris is something you may want to consider. Xx

Ha, ha my first in love albums were Celine Dion: The colour of my love & her other one “Falling into you” and it’s funny I can still remember the feeling, his smell, laugh, and smile ❤️

I love the pink skirt it really suits you - very Chanel. I think your confidence has been dented and you are awakening like a blooming flower. Your new nose suits you by the way.

Tomorrow I’m two weeks in Sweden but I’m very sick since Wednesday. I’ve Crohn disease had my body just said : Nope not having it anymore, you have to rest’. I’m in a lot of pain and my belly is all swollen. So that sucks. Yes, there were signs but I ignored them. The move was hectic with tree dogs and two cats. Thankfully my grownup daughter is with me as she is a real gem. I’m happy for her that’s she is doing her thing too! I’ll get there but for now it’s rest. I’m happy to hear you’re in the middle! Hope is adorable to see walking the street of Paris! 🤩❤️ Wishing you a wonderful week! 💚🌿🌸

Oh connection...such a hard one the older you get. Between work, kids and my spouse usually I catch snippets of friendships and with the unexpected loss of a job, many of the connections I had started investing in were sadly lost. So this weekend one of my dearest friends from growing up and I will meet at one of our favorite cafes and pour our hearts out over coffee. And although we see each other only a few times a year, that desire to connect with a friend will be filled. I do think we have to prioritize connection in life or we will miss it. I also think true connection is worth it's weight in gold and once you find it you must cultivate it. But as I am beginning my last yr of my 30s I'm quick to invest with true friends bc it's always worth the effort.

I recently heard a life coach say that 3-5 meaningful connections are all you need. I’m not sure if it’s true, but it piqued my interest. I’m probably the most introverted person I’ve ever met, lol. I get very easily drained when I have to make small talk, but notice myself feeling much more fulfilled when conversing about the deeper things in life…🕯️ May we all find our meaningful connections. 🙏💐

As a fellow introvert I can relate to everything you are saying. It's often easier to be alone than it is to reach out to make connections. Also, while I appreciate the online connections I've made It's not the same as a personal relationship one on one with someone. Just the fact that I see you but you can't see me alters the dynamic. I retired last year and the initial flurry of invitations have slowed considerably so now I have to make more of an effort which I was somewhat prepared for. It still doesn't come easy though. One of my goals has been to try to connect on a deeper level now that I'm not consumed with work and I actually have the time. It's a process but so worth the effort. Conversation is wonderful but sometimes we all need a hug.

People do not socialize anymore, no more human connections. I miss deep talks and discussions, without the constant need to check their phone. It's taken me some discipline to stop doing it myself but it can be done. That is where I get hung up. I just can't find it where I am at. I not looking to compete, one up or just complain. I want to talk books, art, weird spiritual stuff, etc and laugh until I wee myself. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think loneliness is a state of mind. I think there is always something to do in a day and I live in a town and run into so many people and like my space at home too. We all have connections every day so just get on with them and when I go on dog walks and then go shopping so interaction is good. I have friends and even in a strange country you can make friends. Instagram is one way but through your day you can make connections. Just go with the flow and see what life brings rather than be fearful.

I work in a town far from my family. I feel so lonely here.

My Dear, Real life is full of surprises some days great others days not so good. The magic and serendipity is we don’t know when, who, or place that will fill our cup of contentment. ✨Life is not a written script and no matter how much we plan or try to live a structure life real life gets in the way. We can’t plan our feelings we don’t know how we are going to feel that particular day. This is when you have freedom of choice with who or where you want to spend your energy and time. “None is plenty you don’t always need to find what you are looking for.” - Thomas Moore The Eloquence of Silence

I think it’s all about the quality of your connections rather than quantity. I’m lucky to be married with my best friend as my husband but he works a lot, so I do have quite a lot of alone time. I try to connect in various ways, not always in person, sometimes through messages, social media and occasionally in the outside world lol! I also work a lot on enjoying my own company and making my days productive, but also allow myself down times where I normally read or listen to podcasts. Reading and hearing about others funnily helps me feel connected. Lovely to see you enjoying life in Paris, you seem so relaxed it’s really coming through the lens ❤

Hardcore introvert here - I took up social dancing (e.g. salsa, tango, swing etc). because it's a "connection-oriented" but you *never* have to speak to your dance partner if you don't want to. 😅 The whole interaction can be non-verbal. I live for it. 😂

My daughters said I must see the Barbie film and it was a huge shock and it was brilliant and will appeal to women everywhere and any man that feels threatened by it has a problem! Greta Gerwig wow! Opens women up to conversation much needed. Mission Impossible was great too - hats off to Tom Cruise for those stunts and enjoyed that in a different way. The wonder of cinema - Curzon for me.

Ahh I recognise Rue Cler we stayed on that street when we last visited in Paris, its fab for places to eat and its a really lovely area ❤

Hi Jessica, I'm travelling through Austria on my own 😊 Sending you a big hug and thanks for the inspiration 🤗💝

Push it, Salt N Pepa ❤ (my first BF was 5 years older, this song was very before my time, but I loved it because of him). Ohhh and the movie theme song from Men in black, can't even remember it 😂 I have been feeling lonely a lot but the past year I have re-discovered my life long friends and the value this brings. They know me, they accept and love me. And that has just brought me so much peace. I understand what you mean and agree on the statement of too much energy to work and SM and therefore not being used to real connection anymore. I try to balance it by following my urge to meet up and to accept when I feel a bit hermit like. Love ❤

I think don't analyse too much just go with the flow as that is what life is - a journey no matter how we try to plan.

thanks so much for talking about these topics, Jess -- so relevant! I am having trouble at the minute with bouncing back from going to disappointing or just plain bad social events/dates. How do you motivate yourself to get back up and out + keep trying, especially after a period of not having much luck? 🤔

No rando’s please 😂 Authenticity please warts and all! It’s winter here so I’m just focusing on myself for now. I don’t have much energy to devote to my personal life. So it’s just about me for now. I cannot wait to see the Barbie movie! Despite some ups and downs you look happy Jess! ❤

That is why I do not order online and sit on a phone. I go out!!! People will get ill sitting in anyway so unhealthy and will put on weight which is not healthy. Meaningful is dog walks and interaction out in the real world not the virtual and I love train travel. All seasons are open to being out of your house. I don't have a menstrual cycle anymore so don't put obstacles in the way. No one is necessarily having more fun than anyone else - we are all different and do what makes you happy and that is not being out all night. I prefer day socialising and you say you have enough well do you?

I love to go to the cinema on my own as it is my experience and if the other person not so keen it is uncomfortable. Barbie is iconic for women and will be discussed widely for sure! It was incredible how she used a doll to explore deep issues that divide men and women and how we are regarded by men. Men are so defensive and out to be macho - why? What does it achieve? That is why I like gay men as I can chat and they are so charming and not burping, smoking, swilling beer and ignoring me to look cool. Gay men actually engage and seem to really care about your opinion and are kind. They are not out to dominate and criticise.

We went to Paris a couple of weeks ago for a long weekend to meet up with my brother who lives in Australia. We were over for Bastille day watching the fireworks and I found myself thinking I wonder if I will bump into Jess ! It was so busy I think that was wishful thinking haha.

I really enjoy your lovely vlogs. So interesting and Paris is my favourite city. I loved the Barbie movie. I am a huge Greta Gerwig fan. Love Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling as well. It made some interesting points. I did just want to be a fly on the wall when Barbie goes to that appointment at the end of the film though...LOL I used to be so much more Extroverted but as I get older, I'm the opposite. I want to spend my time alone and in the quiet more. I used to have huge group fo friends and socialise heaps but I just can't be bothered now. I like smaller social times. I am turning 60 soon, and years ago I would celebrate big birthdays for a month. This year...no way. Small family lunch will do me just fine. I get lots of connection in my job so want quiet in my personal life. I had to google who ATB was... LOL

Thanks for talking about these things. I feel we are at the same stage of life. I am 35 and single and also looking for connection and love. Its so hard to find friends never mind a partner xx same Jess I'm thinking of how I want to connect and what will make it meaningful to me and the other person, what can I bring, what can they bring.

Hi . Love the video and tha courageous moove you made. I kinda envy it 🤗 please tell me where the gorgeous white dress that u wear inside is❤

Introvert too 🙌🏻 even tho I spend time with loved ones I always feel drained after 😅

My struggle is i am an introvert and my boyfriend is an extrovert, i moved to his village and him, his friends and family very much live in each others pockets and are very connected. I am alot more independent and i have a very small circle of friends from my own town (which is a long distance away) and have a good connection with my family but i never feel pressured to be always present, i can take it at my own pace with no judgement. My situation now has me very overwhelmed and definitely takes all my energy from me that on the rare occasion i am alone i need total solitude. I dont use social media so when i connect with friends and family it is in person and never online. So for me i crave my freedom and independence but i enjoy all the moments i have with friends and family when we meet up. I just need to find that balance here in my new life to preserve my energy and not feel that overwhelm.

Hi Jessica Could you please recommend any books about connection please? xx Thanks Shell x

I struggle to talk to someone new… for example the man you went walking with in the evening and your new female friend… how did u meet them and get talking? Talking to someone and them snubbing me is my greatest fear

Every KZfaqr is most likely an introvert….you spend all your time alone talking to yourself.