Life at 30+ -send help🚨😫 What we wish we knew in our 20's

Рет қаралды 24,404

Күн бұрын

Sharing our life lessons and experiences! Adulting ain't easy but life can be so fulfilling. --- I would love to hear your answers to my questions :)
I've missed you guys! Hope everyone is well x
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20 things i learned in my 20s things i wish i knew in my 20s mistakes i made in my 20s

Пікірлер: 126

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Beautiful people! I know it's been a minute but life... anyway lol Would love to know your experiences around these questions and where you are currently in your life walk. xoxo

@FireBride 3 жыл бұрын

40's just learning so much!! One thing is never be intimidated by anyone, anything or any circumstances since Christ has everything I need. All I have to do is ask and receive!! I was needing courage the other day as I was in the hospital. And was about to get depressed. But I heard Him say it's okay if your scared I will give you courage!!💜💜💜

@Amorantasia1 3 жыл бұрын

80s baby gang here 🙌🏾💕💕

@mariawisearse8492 2 жыл бұрын

My 20s went by in a blur of uncertainty and let downs. I didn't start to live with the joy, freedom, authenticity and courage I had before my 20s until I turned 30. I found my purpose and began walking in it. I am now mid 40s and have been able to break generational curses that have affected other women in my family - all by God's grace. My life isn't what I thought it would be but I now understand that it is a journey and with God at the helm I will get there. Patience, however, does not get easier as you get older. Especially when your hearts desire is to meet and marry your husband and have kids. In your 20s it is important to pursue your interests because you will form networks which will be filled with a variety of like-minded people that you can collaborate with. Inner circle must share the same important values though.

@waymiller6693 3 жыл бұрын

I’m 24 years old and entering my mid twenties. I love the conversation and listen on my way home from work. I’ve started my career as a high school science teacher this past year and I’ve learned its okay not to have all the answers. In addition to that, I’ve learned to enjoy my here and now. I try to soak in as much I can on the good days and spend time doing things that me happy.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

This is beautiful girl! You're already way ahead than I was. life only get better from here... not perfect but truly yours.

@iCottonHippie 3 жыл бұрын

I'm 29 and will be 30 next year in June. I sooooooooo needed to see/hear this video. In fact I'm going to download it. I need to tune in to this this almost weekly. Soo much to learn and grow from. One thing I learned in my 20's while dealing with depression was that I have to keep pushing on because I'm going to be here on Earth either way. I love your videos!

@nicoleprice8552 3 жыл бұрын

There are questions I learned to ask myself when I was in my late 20s and they are "why am I reacting a certain way to this person?", then ask "is this how I feel about myself on some level, or is there a lesson I need to learn from the experience?" Usually this was helpful when I found myself annoyed by someone's behavior or attitude.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@Royalrae23 3 жыл бұрын

I love this. I’ll use this more often when dealing with others.

@sallyomae9262 2 жыл бұрын

“People say adulting, the bills…Don’t mind the bills…the *inner work*…”. You hit the nail on the head. Im 26, and nothing prepared me for the inner work I’m doing right now. I have made stride in the past, but nothing compared to this. So much stuff is coming up, and I’m working through it with therapy, a support group, prayer, fasting, self-care, and good ol boo hoo crying. I’m growing so much and I love the results, but by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ve become so much more in awe of the each person’s journey in the process as well. Hugs to everyone doing the work.

@noirfit9721 3 жыл бұрын

I’m 26. Two marriages/divorces and a child later, adulting is hard. Having my child made me slow down and really do a lot of introspection. Excited to be single for some years and just raise my daughter while focusing on me and her

@joannefaith1243 3 жыл бұрын

Great discussion,, also what about, been in our 30s and not living up to the expectation that society has on us, eg been married, having children etc I for one, has found myself on the opposite side of my late 30s, and I often feel embarrassed and abit down thinking about it, one of them been that, I always thought at my age, I would own my own home, have my own family, but I now find myself renting and alone no children or a husband, I think for myself, I don’t like to talk about been on the other side of my late thirties, but I no longer feel the need to say am ok, when I am not

@Negra_mbl 3 жыл бұрын

Sis don’t feel dejected! You’re not alone. God’s timing is always the best. I’m 31, renting and a single mother. It’s not easy but I want to trust God’s plan for my life. Be blessed in Jesus’ Name!

@l.patrick3155 3 жыл бұрын

@@Negra_mbl Preach 👊🏽👊🏽...

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Joanna, it's okay to not be okay... and it's very hard to even admit it. I agree with @trass M-R..... Your story is uniquely yours and at your appointed time you will look back and understand why it had to be that moment. I pray that God's grace and mercy comforts you. the Bible says that he is close to the broken hearted. You are blessed and favoured and even when it doesn't seem like God is working, he is.

@joannefaith1243 3 жыл бұрын

@@Negra_mbl thank you 🙏🏽

@Naturallyshe77 3 жыл бұрын

I know exactly how u feel. Im 30 and Im now getting my bachelors degree and sometimes Im hard on myself up for not getting it in my early twenties. I thought I would have my own home, and a husband at this time in my life but I dont. I had to learn to stop focusing on the things I dont have and appreciate my blessings. All we can do is focus on the now. Everything will fall into place at the right time in your life. I have to remember that Gods plans are better than my plans and I had to learn to let go and put my trust in God.

@vtara5394 3 жыл бұрын

Same lockdown didn’t phase me …,I work from home and I’m a home body !

@MimiMonet 3 жыл бұрын

A lot of this resonates with me. I am 34 and I had my first child in my 30s. I feel like having him is what made me sit down and do some self reflection, maturing, and becoming more self aware. Before, I was just taking life as it came. Very good convo ladies!

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Sometimes life forces us to slow down for sure.

@retroblak 3 жыл бұрын

How beautiful is Whitney’s skin you look like Mica Paris gorgeous. The raving thing dies down in your 30’s. 🎓❤️

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Right! She's gorgeous x

@EvieBam 3 жыл бұрын

“I love me as a human being” - love this for you and am so pleased to say that I’m finally in the same space. I also relate to focusing on goals and achieving rather than being 🙌🏽 We take our achievements for granted because we’re so focused on what we don’t yet have and what’s next. This is the gateway to emotional turmoil and discontentment.

@HoneySnowflake 3 жыл бұрын

I heard someone say 30s are similar to your 20s...you just have more money LOL as a 31 yr old mom...I agree lol

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

lmao! There's defo more money so I can't wait for the 40's

@HoneySnowflake 3 жыл бұрын

@@FusionofCultures exactly!!!

@veronicalolaa 3 жыл бұрын

Aw Laila and Whitney, a lovely throwback ❤️

@ninac6079 3 жыл бұрын

Thank u both I love this chat!👏🏾I feel like Black Girl Therapy is so necessary & that as women we should encourage giving recognition to our feelings & talking about our emotions more because it helps to understand where your boundaries are. I've got 10yrs on you girls but totally agree Tunnel Vision is the way to go in your 30s!..BUT what I would tell my younger self is "at the end of your tunnel vision..try to keep your heart's desires in focus"

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Oh love that! Keep your hearts desires in focus... beautiful

@Zen-cx5tc 3 жыл бұрын

I'm 32 and love who I am becoming. Self-awareness and self-love is important. I recently started therapy and I'm so proud of myself for having the courage to go. I really wanted a family, a decent paying job and a nice house . It's not here yet, but I'm accepting life for what it is at this moment. I'm starting to love my life 🤗🤗🤗

@BrooklynLondoner 3 жыл бұрын

Laila! I totally relate with loving yourself and being content and happy with who you are. I hear it sis! 👊🏾

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Real grown folks sh*t lmao x

@iDressLondon 3 жыл бұрын

On the analysing front, it has to be in moderation because you're not a project but you are a work in progress too much reflection will ultimately lead to anxiety and while yes you need to be self-aware you can approach this with care and self awareness is a journey rather then a state of arrival which I think is a common misconception.

@beegirl1948 3 жыл бұрын

Oooh yes! 🙌🏽

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Oh I 100% agree :)

@basetsanaserogole6435 3 жыл бұрын

I am 24 and very much at my semi-low place right now. I really love this video, i felt like i was chatting to my big sisters. I have been struggling with setting hard boundaries and that made me feel like i was pouring out of an empty cup. I also always downplayed the importance of self-love, but i guess its really important. It was draining. I will take the advices mentioned, and hope for nothing but the best for myself.

@missgabbyb5460 3 жыл бұрын

Love this video, I'm into astrology and recently delved deeper into it and discover that between the age of 28-31 you go through you saturn return, which is like a Astrological coming-of-age where the planet saturn returns to the position it was when you were born, expect lots of awakenings, self discovery and exposure of what is working for you in relationships, career, emotionally, mentally, physically EVERYTHING basically, so could be something to read about or KZfaq it 😉 hope this helps someone x 🪐

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

oh really! lol it makes so much sense

@rachzainhass 3 жыл бұрын

I turned 29 on the 5th of May and I was fortunate to learn when I was about 24 or 25 that the key to happiness..... Give your life way It is and will be the hardest thing to die to yourself to serve others some whom will never appreciate what it will cost you and we are naturally selfish. But giving your life away in service is how we are designed. ( with health boundaries ofcourse!!!l)

@KittKat_G 3 жыл бұрын

Just wait until you hit your 40's. I'll be 41 next month and my entire life has changed, 2020 was definitely an awakening year. My parent enforced education and working = (stability) so that's what I knew and did coming from poverty and never wanting my children to experience. I was career driven, promotion after promotion my personal life on hold. Then my world came to an abrupt end when the company closed it's doors and permanently laid-off all higher management. Know that change is inevitable, you don't control anything in life except your reaction to the circumstances or situations you're put into... Living life is a constant test. You PASS OR FAIL. PASS you move to the next level. FAIL you repeat until you learn the lesson. It can break you if you haven't clearly found yourself in your 30's. Focus on your mental/physical health, your family and continue to keep God (Higher Being) in every aspect of your life. Planning on 🤰🏾this year keep me in your prayers. Better late than never. Put YOU FIRST!!!

@joeroot9142 3 жыл бұрын

You got this. Ask your angels and guides to send your baby come. Blessings on to you. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

@dream704 3 жыл бұрын

This is such a great discussion and it really made me think. I appreciate your transparency and openness ladies! I am 27 and just found my first gray hair (I freaked out) and still learning how to set boundaries and be honest with myself while being patient with my self growth. I need to treat myself with the same amount of kindness and selflessness as I do with my spouse and my friends and be confident now, not when I have the perfect body, hair, job, etc.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Amma lol firstly, brace yourself, the greys are coming! But yes, you are definitely on the right track for you! x

@bwnsugashay 3 жыл бұрын

I remember meeting you Laila many years ago in my 20’s! You are such a beautiful soul on and off the camera! I remember walking away thinking wow she’s so sweet. Her friends are so lucky to have her x

@neiilak7309 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this! I am 24, so entering my mid twenties and I can't wait to achieve all the projects I have. But at the same time I know life happens and I put too much pressure on myself. I enjoyed your video and I'm definitely closer to your friend's spiritual awakening at the moment

@mynovela 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this recall 👍🏽Your friendship looks mature 🌹

@No1superjuicey 3 жыл бұрын

If I could like this a million times!

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

lol thank you!

@AmmaMama 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your transparency ladies. May God bless you both❤️

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Amma!!!!! God bless you too sis 💕💕

@deidreej 3 жыл бұрын

Great discussion! I learned over the years to put me first. Don't be ashamed. Society shouldn't define who you are. You define who YOU are! Live for you!

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

That's it!

@senphiwedube2102 3 жыл бұрын

Laila can I just give you a virtual hug 😢. I needed to hear this! Thank you!

@completelyv 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video very much needed! Also very happy to see Whitney back on here I loved your older videos together and always wished she featured more. Didn't know she was back making videos, will check them out now.

@cherie.camille 3 жыл бұрын

This was a lovely conversation. Thank you both for sharing! Walking into 30 towards the end of 2020 was an unexpected blessing. With the world shut down and an abundance of time to self-reflect, I had the opportunity to re-learn myself and uncover who I really am apart from anyone else. It's been a journey of a lot more unpacking, healing, intentionality, self-care and self-love. It's been a challenging and difficult journey at times, but beautiful all around. I'm loving the person I am and am becoming. One thing I've learned is to be proud of myself, no matter how small the step forward is, and that I don't need to wait for myself to accomplish something huge according to the world's standards before I give myself a pat on my back for the progress I am making. 💕

@Tolu1994 3 жыл бұрын

I’m excited to watch this, entered my late 20s this year and I’ve been hearing that the 30s is where it’s at👀

@eyekandy3000 3 жыл бұрын

Uh 🙄

@monademoaner 3 жыл бұрын

Where it is ....not at lol Set up your 20s to enjoy your 30s

@TheSentientSensei 3 жыл бұрын

I think they both can be great but the maturity level is definitely a different vibe in your 30s, especially if you still retain some youthful energy

@ItsBonnieAdams 3 жыл бұрын

This was so inspiring to watch. I’ve been watching you for like your whole KZfaq career, So it’s cool to see a sit down like this from you. I’ma few years shy of my 30s and I think I’m actually taking on a lot of these tips already. Thank you so much sharing your thoughts with us all

@dominiquejohnson1172 3 жыл бұрын

Man I missed your content. I was an avid watcher of your channel and I been so busy but now I'm back watching your videos its a breath of fresh air knowing that other people are able to discuss what you could not express verbally about relationships. I love what you and your friend are saying in this video its real out there.

@_ellasarpong_ 3 жыл бұрын

Loved this video, please keep more coming 👍🏾🇬🇭

@caterine4604 3 жыл бұрын

Laila I really like hearing what you have to say. Most of times it really resonates with me and I extract so much value from that. I really wish you had more videos or even a podcast. Thank you so muuch for being inspirational and amazing.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you soooo much!!! I honestly love sharing the lessons I've learn't from life x

@mamasizzle8395 3 жыл бұрын

Hey ladies, your braids are gorgeous 🌸

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

@laulau8070 3 жыл бұрын

Such an amazing vlog, watched it twice just to fully absorb it all. “I love me as a human being” -something am really working on. We are constantly told how to be good to others but not many times we’re told to be good to ourselves first and also to others.. Great video ❤️❤️

@yaaasafo 3 жыл бұрын

the stay in your lane bit was so on point. good convo

@arynnyraalvarez6736 3 жыл бұрын

Great to have you Back Laila! Looking GORGEOUS as ever. Love the content btw.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@Its_saada 3 жыл бұрын

I loves these kinds of videos! ❤

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

yay!

@stephowusu 3 жыл бұрын

Loved the video! Thank you for sharing your stories and advice. And also heyyy Whitney 😘

@WhitneyQ 3 жыл бұрын

Hey boo!

@JemmaKay04 3 жыл бұрын

Definitely enjoyed this video! I’m 28 and gotta say I agree that self-awareness goes a long way when navigating through life. I probably would’ve married the wrong “people” if I wasn’t absolutely honest with myself. Saves you a ton of heartache down the road.

@BElle-Ballentine 3 жыл бұрын

Good to have you back, Laila ❤️

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! 💕

@kriola84 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this to both of you! I felt like you were talking about my experience specifically Whitney. I went through what we call a spiritual awakening and it is so hard to shed all the habits and giving birth to a new self. Emotions are so high because I am a new person and it's also fascinating to see how you can change in a lifetime by doing the inner work. I am grateful to hear people and experiences like yours, it makes me feel like I am not alone in this because unfortunately, not everybody understands the changes and the will to change. I have learned to detach myself from people and things to live more in alignment with myself and it takes courage to distance yourself from people who don't do you good. Your inner self/spirit will thank you later. Ps: you both look beautiful inside and out

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad we could have this moment! I think it's so important for us to see ourselves in each other and we can only do that by sharing our journeys openly.

@kriola84 3 жыл бұрын

@@FusionofCultures Openess is the key. Thanks again for sharing

@Vlindertjeab 3 жыл бұрын

3:00 thanks so much for your honesty! I appreciate it, I experience the same thing. I also enjoyed going out alot and now I'm also more home. I enjoy being alone, I don't longer feel that I have to go out all the time. 🙏🏿 and also at 18:25 the point of selflove is very important. 😊

@shayma7497 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you girls for this,I feel less lonely in this self awareness journey. I see this journey/ mindset in a very similar way if not exactly how you see it Laila x

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

You're never alone! x

@ahoufemaggie3446 3 жыл бұрын

Loved this collaboration!!

@WhitneyQ 3 жыл бұрын

😘😘😘

@denises-a7819 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for sharing, ladies! Sooo many golden nuggets! Also, would you mind sharing where you got your biker shorts? Thanks!!

@booairmow 3 жыл бұрын

Currently 24 going on 25 this year and in terms of self love I’m really really getting good . I’m so proud of myself. ♥️ But I just wanna know, How can one become more self aware?

@kapalawife 3 жыл бұрын

Great convo girls 😍😍 tunnel vision is the word for the next season in my life! Really good advice, being self-aware, therapy to deal with inner child and past traumas, tighter boundaries, using the word No and loving self above all is what I would tell my 20s self. ❤ Also everyday is a blessing and being present and enjoying the now is also so important.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Everyday!!! even when it doesn't feel like it.

@Zen-cx5tc 3 жыл бұрын

🤗🤗🤗

@akuaaso 3 жыл бұрын

Omg Laila!!! You she's back!!!! Good to see you!!! 😊😊

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Yes! Thank you!

@flaviaakello 3 жыл бұрын

At 32 I’m now learning to live with the silence. Finding my own path and doing exactly what I want to do unapologetically. I’m so protective of my space in every sense, what I consume, read and listen to. In my 20s I needed the noise and thought that’s where the peace was at. I thought I would be much more confident but this is something I still need to work on. Each day I say goodbye to my 20 year old self, it was fun while it lasted but I just can’t take you to the next level.

@thabilemaphenchane1249 3 жыл бұрын

My fav... It's been quite some time... Welcome back... 💕💕💕

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! 💕

@ed000 3 жыл бұрын

I fell in love with myself during the 3rd lockdown and I began to review and prune after 5months on, I'm still pruning!! Thank you

@retroblak 3 жыл бұрын

I already love you two already. It’s the real ness for me ❤️🤗🔥👊🏾❤️

@glorial2807 3 жыл бұрын

My favorite person !!! 🥰 so excited lol.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

aww thank you Gloria!! 💕💕

@armamia.1701 3 жыл бұрын

Loved this ladies! Black girl Therapy for the win. i'm 27 and the thing that resonates with me the most, that i practice a lot is Self Awareness. However, i do struggle with the pruning part of it. Sometimes I just feel like, even if this is a terrible quality.. I'm not the only one who has terrible qualities... I can keep this one. lol. Horrible I know. Working on it. Self improvement is a constant process.

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

All we can do is work on it! We'll never be perfect but we can be alive, growing and flourishing x

@kooliecurlz93 3 жыл бұрын

I was listening to this while on the shower and I must say it was so refreshing, the conversation was everything and I think you could really do something here (if you have the time and want to of course) I even think you already have a name; podcast style. ‘Black girl therapy’ there is so much room for more black women/ girl voices we need them we want them and they are helpful. Even reading the comments the feelings of ‘am I going through this alone’ become less and less. #Grateful

@BrooklynLondoner 3 жыл бұрын

My favs. Hey beautiful ladies xx

@WhitneyQ 3 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

@mzlyzs9863 3 жыл бұрын

32 wow I remember when you were away at school.time has flown!!

@Zen-cx5tc 3 жыл бұрын

Great video 🤗🤗🤗🤗

@tonyasealy7667 3 жыл бұрын

Great to see you😊

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! x

@vonnessatracey5664 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video. God definitely lead me to hear this video.

@nataliean4 3 жыл бұрын

1. Find spirituality/follow Christ 2. Take time for self 3. Mental Health 4. Be confident in yourself 5. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself 6. Self awareness

@taylormade9748 3 жыл бұрын

I’m 25 and I need this

@charro028 3 жыл бұрын

🎤 🎵 Brown skinned girls

@gloriazarwolo8428 3 жыл бұрын

What podcast were you listening to, I’ll like to check it out please.

@movingnollywood4528 3 жыл бұрын

Your so beautiful at 30 I love to see you 🥰

@jesseicalugo2876 3 жыл бұрын

Where do you get your earrings ❤️

@victorybeginsinthegarden 3 жыл бұрын

Happy birthday get a full wellness check

@PRINCESSGEMINI1987 Жыл бұрын

Just watching Whitney on first dates.

@tiyyas3022 3 жыл бұрын

I think a lot of these “achievements” are drilled into us that we don’t feel like we’re ever enough. Even in our best efforts, things won’t always go as we hope they will. Especially as people of faith, we need to let go and let God. Things that are on God’s timing are not things I’ll ever stress myself over any longer- so marriages, kids don’t ask me about because I truly don’t know

@FusionofCultures 3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I really had to surrender A LOT to God, especially coming into this year.