To imagine that Ren could've died 7 years ago and I would never have heard of him, and "Hi Ren" would never have touched me, and so many others, the way it has. It's incredible that he's still with us, and I hope he can stay for as long as possible and continue blessing us all with his incredible talent and raw and honest message of hope.

unfortunately many don't see how bad it is - because they look away. I've been sick all my life with ME_CFS as well as complications from CPTSD , DID, and I believe that because i liv e in a backward town - the doctor s still look at you 'oh, well, your a female - so you're broken' I've never received anything for the pain, or the other problems from the illnesss - yet i worked my arse off all my life until i finally collapsed. Then family and friends abandoned me because i wasn't useful to them anymore. I do not usually write about this at all - but because of your video, and your music and honesty. I will speak here. I'm so so glad that people funded you for treatment. you deserve a great life. Thankyou Ren!

This saddened me to watch just now. Ren, you have/are inspiring ALOT of people. I respect you sooooooo much as a young Man....a human that is unafraid to air his truths. I wish you nothing but continuous health and success. I know these are old videos, and ur on the road to recovery NOW...but u lived in that pain for so long, that it becomes a part of ur inner psyche. Keep striving and surviving. I have become one of ur huge fans. I wish you well, Ren. Much love. ~ Tazzz ~

My heart breaks for him every time I see this. I'm so glad he's doing so well now! Changing the world one song at a time, just beautiful ♤♡♤

Watching this, having just turned 23 and this age marking 10 years of struggling with chronic nausea everyday with the doctors not knowing what's wrong with me, i do feel hope. I just really feel what ren is saying in this video. Countless tests. Medications. Drs visits. I missed out on so many of my teenage years because of whatever is wrong with me. I just hope i start to get better soon. I would love to meet ren and just tell him how much his music means to me.

It's so hard to see you like this. I don't know you, but I love you. Your music has touched me like few others'. Thank you for that, and I'm glad you're on the mend and doing so much better these days.

This planet needs your music Ren. So good to see you got through this 🙏

I saw you on Unrest yesterday at the AfME AGM. Your song is fantastic, and I am so sorry (as a fellow musician who eventually recovered from CFS/ME) that this illness has punished you. But thank you so much for this contribution, Ren.

My heart breaks that such an amazing young man has had to suffer so much :( I hope that knowing what a huge impact you've had on so many people's lives with your music helps to ease the sting just a little.

Hey brother I'm right here with you. I feel and understand all of it. I was a guitar player at one of the best music schools in my country and had to drop out because of ME. It's crushed all my dreams and everything that made me me almost. I even tried to overdose once. I get it. If I can recover just enough to go back to school part time it will be to study biomedical science so I can research and fight ME. I'm so sorry this is happened to you. I'm pretty much in tears after this.

Omfg what the heck. 😢😢😢 How have I never seen this. What a difference 6yrs make. You truly are an amazing strong young man. Broke my heart this did 💔

I was finally led to this blog from your music. I had a friend who went through what you have been through. In my own case, suffering for a long time for other reasons, I know both the need for help and the determination. And there really isn't anything I can say except I can sit with you in all these feelings. The empathy is there. I spent years away from the music while everything fell apart, and it was not right. Because for me, like you, the music is the purpose. The thinking feeds the music - all of the thinking. The experiences of everything fires you up, me up, in stead of stopping us completely like so many do. In this time, when I wonder more than ever if it is time to give up, I found what you do, and it is helping me center. I went through years of poverty. I had four years in which I had no income except food aid, during which I bartered work for a place to live. For most of my adult life I got through the times of wanting suicides by changing what suicide means to me. Is for me. That was a miracle because redefining suicide actually worked. And if that worked, redefining life and joy and love could work. Not kill all the terror and pain and everything else dark, no. But at least redefine how I handled the dark things, and well as the light. Not conquering the bad and only trying to make things good. Going to the middle. As you seem to have found. In such a unique and realistic way. I know you are in a different phase of your life now, but I think, for me, I will take some time occasionally to come sit with the you in this blog. Because I know how this feels.

I so hope Canada is the answer to this video! I’m also glad you put up with this shite so much longer then you thought you could. Here is hoping for your full recovery and if not that, a good percentage of recover and if not that, here is praying you hit that 10% and don’t backslide.

It is Mold Illness. I have it too. It's the absolute worst. Ren, I hope one day you decide to go work with Erik Johnson or at least go through his Mold tour out in Lake Tahoe @ ground zero. I really want to see you thrive. You are brilliant. I hope one day I get to do a duet with you. 🎶🎤 Keep being awesome! You've come along way. ❤🎉

So sorry for your suffering ren along with many others sending love and thoughts too you I have only followed you for a short time you are amazing with your beautiful voice of many voices you are very brave and loving towards people I hope through all of your fans you feel this love we have for you and many others suffering so so sorry this shit is in peoples lives take very good care always big love and prayers

I’ve been in this place for some time, still keeping the faith as much as we can. I’m so glad things are getting better for you. ❤

I understand exactly how your feeling lovely ,I have this awful illness to . Please please someone help us all xxx

I love you man. I'm glad to see you doing better friend. Your music moves me, and many others. Love you friend. Sweetest dreams Ren 🖤

Baby boy...you are loved. I feel so much for the young ones like you. It is so much harder...so much to live for and robbed of everything. Life is so unfair. At least I was 39 when I got sick with ME/Fibro. I know this illness so well. 25 years now. Locked in a personal prison of limited choices.....it is so easy to get depressed and want to give up. I know. Please hold on in there...it does get easier as you begin to accept a new you..not the same you...but you stop fighting it...live the best way you can. Work with your body...be gentle with yourself...talk to us. Cry, scream if you have to. You are grieving. That's ok. We've all been there. xx

I just discovered your blog....thank you so much for sharing your send of loss and your vulnerability. Makes you human... Those days are now behind you and seeing you now is simply wonderful. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and you certainly are . You are a great musician and performer, inspiring so many and your self expression is a joy to witness.

So sad to see you had to go through all that pain. Sending all my love to this younger you Ren. I was really sick in my fourties, being a mom to two little boys and not knowing how to cope, not knowing what was wrong. Just by chance I was diagnosed with Lyme, just because some day I went to another doctor ( been to clinics and many doctors before) and she knew about Lyme. After a long treatment I got my life back. As today I know the pendulum swung towards brighter days for you. You opened up for your vulnerability and never gave up. And you still fight for all the people who need help for chronical illness. 🙏🏻 The world needs someone like you.

You're getting through it, Ren! You're getting through it. I'm here in 2018 and came across this because of you in 2018. I'm so sorry you've suffered so much (still are perhaps) but I just wanted to say that you ARE reaching people (I'm in fucking Japan!) Keep on keeping on, my man.

i am crying wish i could give you a hug i am feeling this too

I can't describe how much it hurts me to see you this broken. I wish you from the bottom of my heart, that everything that comes your way now, will relieve you of all the burdens. I can't imagine your pain in the slightest but i want you to know i firmly believe in the miracle of your healing. So much love, Dude. ❤︎

Thank you Ren.. I’m so sorry you suffered so much to be here but it wasn’t in vain.. you are making lives better one at a time with your talent.. thank you!🎶♥️🎶x

Aaawwee sweetheart, I am so sorry for your pain...I am now 60 years old, and have had M.E. since my thirties! I understand....I went through days and weeks feeling like this, but please believe me that you can and you will find the right doctors for you. When you do not have the energy for doing research and things, ask a friend to do it for you , or a family member that is supportive! I still see and feel that you have a life and strength in you to do this ....I live on a very small disability pension myself, and now my doctor has told me that getting a Service Dog would help me a lot, in different ways. I believe that this might be one of the ways that you would get through a day sometimes. :-) Have you thought of maybe asking a good friend if they could start a "GoFundMe Page" for you , or another kind of "fundraising" for you? Please try this, it will help you! A friend started this for me...here is the link...have a look! www.gofundme.com/q6xsu6p8 . Nurture yourself everyday...live in the moment, one day at a time! I BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOUR STRENGHT! Yes, we have bad days, but there are good ones as well....keep the faith :-) C.S with M.E.

Sending you so much strength and positivity ❤ you are so strong for being here and expressing yourself, you are really helping others who are experiencing this same disease.

bro i have cried so many times over ny own situation like you. thank you for sharing i know it seems unfair.

Thank you so much for sharing this video. I wish I had found it years ago at the time when it was posted as I've never related to a video so much in my life. I was diagnosed with CFS/ME when I was 16 and my health has declined ever since. It's been quite a few years now but doctors still don't seem to take me seriously. At least there is comfort in knowing that other people who have CFS/ME understand and believe one another. It's not easy feeling like the "best years" of your teenage and young adult life have been stolen from you due to illness. I hope that wherever you are in the world, that your struggles are getting easier to deal with. My heart goes out to anyone who is trying their best to deal with chronic illness right now.

Thank you for being brave enough to post this. I'm really struggling at the moment too along with panic attacks. Keep battling and chipping away man, I can totally relate to how desperate you feel. Keep talking to people around you if you can, we are all out there fighting the war, you're bravery is an inspiration

I‘m a big fan of you with your fantastic music. So sorry to hear how much you suffered. I‘m very touched….. all the best and health for the new year 2022, Ren! Best wishes and much energy for your art and dreams from Hamburg!🙋‍♀️🌻🍄

You are a beautiful miracle and I am so happy you are well now and that I get experience your gifts and passion.

Ren I have one question brother. Do you believe it's morning? Can you beileve you're alive today? Even if it is the last thing on your mind this video just reawakened my resolve. thank you from the bottom of my heart. I needed somebody to tell me they want to live from the bottom of their soul. And you lived through it all and you're better than ever. I'm sick of this limbo myself. I wanted help or death and now I'm getting serious. I WANT TO LIVE Edit: the very next song is "do you believe" on my playlist. Can't wait

I've watched this video a few times now and it breaks me to see you so upset and down. Thank God you got over this time in your life and that things are looking a bit better now. You are a bright light in an ever increasingly dark world and I wish you all the good fortune that's possible. Hopefully your trip to Canada helps resolve things and bring more bright days!!!

Ren, I've only just come across you in recent months when I've needed to find you and your music so much! I'm so so glad that you're still here. May you continue to thrive and heal, love. Take care of yourself...

The fact that you put this out there. The feeling of im watching my life dissapear, its more then bad its so scary, will i ever get to experience life, and just need help. So much of what you say here resonates so much with my own life. I have felt many times that i could lend my body to the research of the multitude of illness.

I am happy you are still here. Your messages are powerful.❤

This is heartbreaking witnessing this beautiful soul suffering so profoundly. He bares his self to us all. It makes my heart even happier in seeing Ren healthier and touching so many lives.

In the words of rocky lifes not about how hard you hit its about how hard you can get hit and keep getting up again you sir are a strong man its a inspiration to see where you are now best of luck with your music and life respect

I watched the film Unrest and saw this video in it. A close friend of mine has been battling CFS for around ten years and still ongoing. She is going through similar things you are, sees numerous doctors for tons of tests and doesn’t seem to be getting better. I feel very bad for her and I try to support her in what ways I can. I really hope you don’t lose hope and that a cure can be found. God bless.

Hope & prayers are a strong thing I'm so happy your doing so much better Ren you helped me and I'm sure others sharing our story does that. I watched this years ago when I first got fibromalagiea you helped me not feel so alone . Your always in my Heartfelt prayers 🙏 ❤️

I’m with you brother. I’ve lived with ME for 6 years and I relate to everything you’re saying.

I hope things have gotten better for you my mate, I've been struggling for about a year now, but have plummeted these past few months and have been homebound and isolated. I'm feeling how you feel in this video, and just have to have faith that one day I'll wake up with more energy

Hi, thank you for sharing your video. I have just been diagnosed with this, I was so scared for a long time I had cancer or something terminal being undiagnosed.. the weakness and tiredness was like no other (and nobody understands when i tried to explain) even when you try to (ie) the muscles in my stomach that you don't think about is weak and it's hard to even sit up, or the feeling that if you don't tell yourself to breath you'll stop.. that kind of tired, and people look at you like 😒 and tell you to have a nap. (I'm so tired physically, but my brain won't go to sleep too.. I watch the clock) I don't have a social life anymore, people think I am just depressed or lazy, and they don't bother anymore.. however what hurts the most is when family and friends don't take it seriously,. Just another added illness to go with the others you already have, but it's really not.. all the things going on are all part of the M.E, I think. I do have a bad leg which I use a stick for too, i was born with a congenital birth defect - Klippel Trenauny Webb syndrome. But even this I cope with. I don't want sympathy, All I want is to get well again, or just enough to just function anyway and have a life again. (Please tell me things don't get worse and worse and you get more and more in a dark place.. because i'm so frightened) and I'm holding on to hope and answers I'll get better.. Its the only thing keeping me going. I was walking home the other day (so weak from a small shopping trip) and for a split second I had a thought to walk out in front of a car so I could end things, I've never felt like this before? But I'd had enough, and had enough of people asking too much from me and not understanding too "i can't do them things" and "it's not depression". So Please tell me you get better eventually ?

I’m right there with you! I guess I’m lucky that this didn’t hit until 50 years old. Praying for you too. Most people don’t understand how bad it is.

I have twin 24year old both with complex needs and disabilities. I have so much empathy with REN both in the past and his present. Thankfully we know it gets better for you Ren and that by making this video it is the catalyst for change. 😘😘😘😘

I've had ME for a long, long time. I understand. Thanks for not giving up. Praying for us all and for the researchers to find the answer soon.

Amato Ren.. vedendo ora questo tuo video mi si spezza il cuore. Capisco la sofferenza che provi. .. piccola grande stella che eri sette anni fa..e grande stella che sei ora.. che sei sempre stato e ancora sarai ..mai ti spegnerai , sei tu stesso il tuo miracolo. La tua musica è un miracolo. Un abbraccio infinito

Don't give up. no matter what our situation or the hard times we might be facing, we can choose to focus on what God says. He reminds us, "Love covers a multitude of sins." Love covers any shade of grey, every uncertainty, and all worries or fears. It's greater than any obstacle or struggle we face in this life. The powerful love of Christ wins every time against the enemy's lies of defeat. We don’t have to let him win. We can choose the better way. We can choose whose voice we listen to. We can choose to walk in truth. We can choose to walk in love. You are loved by us all.

We must be strong, I tryed all these things , Have to learn to expect it , go outside on my mobility scooter and crutches a little when I can, don't have energy to walk or i get sick ,flare with pain and suffer paralysis, stiffness, burning ,weakness, Naursa . But I will keep going and do the little I can even if it hurts. The mobility scooters has help me to have alittle life and friends drive me sometimes. I have to wear head phone cause of noise.

You are very well the most beautiful thing I have ever heard... ever laid eyes on

My bf has the same problem like you. In my experience. Love is important. It could make you stronger and give hope. All my prayers with you

💓💓💓 I've been like this too at times My heart goes out to you x

This breaks my heart

I have EDS and it often is miss diagnosed as fibromyalgia or CFT. I wasn't correctly diagnosed until I was 46. I suffered from the time farthest back that I can Remember. There is no cure for what I have. It is a genetic luck of the draw. I hurt all over and I get exhausted and depressed and anxious. I had to quit working in 2015 and I had worked for 27 years as a pharmacist. I have so much empathy. I have spent most of my time in bed waiting to die the last 7 years. I want to live again also. It is so frustrating. I feel your pain.

Ohhhh dude. I relate. those times are bad.. its not the end being physically ill messes with your mind. Dont let it win.. you are still you. sometimes it clouds your way of life. music is my passion too don't let win. listen to your fav tunes keep feelin' that feeling and it wont win. i hope this makes sense. you are not alone, all us spoonies are battling m.e together. there will be a cure somewhere, someday.

Sending hugs, I relate, it's hard I hope you're ok

hello, my name is ainsley and I have suffered for 1 year with cfs and m.e and I know exactly how you feel .. I'm so sorry to hear and see this ... some days I cannot get out of bed and small things like make a cup of tea ... I also cannot leave the house but people always say oh you will be OK just press on but it's not as easy as that .. just one day at a time ... I'm crying for you as a fellow sufferer please know that you have my love and support and please feel free to reply and chat even of it is to have a vent ... much love and much hugs

I just hope, you feel better these days❤ I'm fighting the same right now and I'm single mom... So I'm really screwed right now. But I'm going to see my doctor soon. This really isn't life, because every day I'm just tired and feel like dying.. I feel so sick. I envy people, who just goes out and can have fun. 😔

Oh...this is heart-rending! I am so so so sorry! I am very glad you're here. Thanks for sharing. You are needed. #StuartJRandall #,LowertheShield

I’m with you brother. it’s been long since I could pick up my guitar, it breaks my heart

Thank you for saying this.... I can feel your pain.... I'm in the same situation😢

Your amazing and strong mate music is everyone's life and I hope you are okay I understand what you are going through I struggle with life every day sending you strength and your music is amazing and keep it up you will get where you want to be in life mate

Keep your head up whenever you are inside the house keep occupied with other stuff / My wife would do this to. Keep it strong

God bless you, Sweetheart.. I hope you're doing better now.

ahh i just want to give you a big cuddle. u probably know now we crash and hit the low but things will improve however briefly. i know how u feel. i look back and cry at who i once was. sending hugs

Glad you got your miracle.

Please Ren..I cry with you..I want to comfort you hold you like my own baby,s..please ,Ren the world needs you..beautiful soul,make your music and make the world happy,you become happy yourself to..I send you positive vibes from the Netherlands..hug,love.❤❤

I feel the same way man, im loosing hope. I have no energy and im missing out on life and my family.

This video breaks my heart so much

Please don't be discouraged. Stay strong and pray

Hola amigo. Sigue adelante. Eres maravilloso. La vida se puede vivir de formas diferentes. Yo tengo fibromialgia. Entre otras cosas. Ojalá sientas ese amor y fuerza. Dios no ayudará. 🙏🤟👼

I'm so sorry. Bodies truly suck sometimes💖🦋

I understand the desperation.

I can so relate to your video!

i’m here and i see you. i hear my own thoughts reflected in this video. i don’t know how much longer i can do this

Ren congrats on your recovery!! Can you give a hint what ended up helping you? Best regards

This is just heartbreaking.

Hola! Me hubiera gustado escribirte en inglés, pero realmente estoy demasiado cansada para hacerlo, soy de México🇲🇽 Cada palabra que dices, son las mismas palabras que describirían cómo me siento, como si yo fuera la que estuviera hablando en este video. Siento cada dolor que hay en tu corazón, en tu cuerpo y en tu alma. El dolor de todos los sueños que se han roto, esas ganas de vivir, de comerte el mundo, el dolor de ver pasar la vida y no participar ni un 1% en ella, pero sobre todo el dolor de seguir existiendo a pesar que que te quieres rendir. No sabes que paz me dio encontrarte a tí y el documental de unrest, de saber que no estoy loca, ni estoy exagerando en todo lo que estoy sintiendo. Te prometo que siento cada dolor que hay en tu corazón, y deseo con todas mis fuerzas que la gente como tú y como yo pronto sanemos y volvamos a vivir. Y si no es así, deseo con toda mi alma que Dios nos lleve junto con Él y podamos descansar de esta cruel y dolorosa realidad que solo los que lo vivimos lo sentimos. No te conozco, pero te abrazo mucho, yo también siento que en cualquier momento no voy a soportar más y me iré. Espero veas este mensaje y puedas pasarme tu contacto o algún grupo de alguna red social de la que seas parte, para que unamos fuerzas❤

I will go back in time and hug you until you feel it.

Hello mate hope you're doing better I have also got this and know what you're going through seems to be a constant mind battle. Hey if you want a chat drop me a line at least it will be someone who knows the struggle. Take care

I feel.sorry for u guys ..life is not fair

close to home, take care everyone

Well i bought the 20mg prednisone and took a crumb and in 10mins my excruciating lower back pain was gone and helped fatigue alot!

Hugs.

hey dear don't worry you gonna be alright soon don't lose hope I might be thinking 🤔 if we change the blood from the body of patient what would happen! God bless you 🙏

I’m so sorry.

I have same shit... but im from fucking Ukraine bro... believe me you are lucky to born in normal country. Buy weed, you will have all the same illness exept the stress it will Dissapear

I just saw a documentary on Netflix where you appear ... I write to give you a lot of encouragement just to tell you that I feel for everything you are going through ..... if you want to talk here I do not know if you will understand my English pq I am Spanish and you I write for the translator ..... what you said you are not alone

Hello I just want to say that I admire you all for fighting this I can’t begin to imagine what you feel and how hard it is but I’m here to talk for any of you so please feel free to chat I’m willing to hear you out never give up hope

Ich hoffe auch sehr für dich. Ich habe es auch, Gruß aus Deutschland. Es kann besser werden. ❤️👍

❤🙏❤

Sounds like bile deficiency. That allows your body to digest and pull the the nutrients out of the food. Go gluten free and vegetarian. Test each plain food one at a time and see how you feel foe few hours after each food. That way you can single them out. How this helps Ren.

I watched the movie unrest today and I saw u .. 😔

I know the feeling. If you can imagine I am worse then you. On top of what you are describing I am peeying ever 30 minutes. Personally iost hope but I still want somehow to get better. Food for me is poison and also I developed diabetes. Anyway maybe something will change.

❤

Oh honey! How fucking awful u went thru this. I'm so glad u r as you say "healthy enough"

🙏♥️🙏

I know how this feels, I'm trapped by the same illness.

❤️☮️