It’s shocking, until it isn’t.

The hardest part was realizing you mean nothing to them. At best she was infatuated for a couple months, and when that wore off I was just convenient on top of being forgiving and accommodating to get ignored before the mind games about her fidelity started. Her "I love you's" ended around this time too.

It's so reassuring to know you aren't the only one that has experienced this kind of betrayal. When you think you've found someone special and turns out they are a nightmare in disguise 🤡

"I'll take 'Assumptions of fidelity' for $1000, Alex."

My narcissist ex manfriend didn't care about anything, except what he was getting out of being with me. I was the ketchup to use up. Such a horrible reality to face up to. I thought 'this can't be real', but it was.

She is so good at articulating all of these points

Omg.. I am almost gasping at how accurate this rings home. You speak so well and understandable about all of this. You also have this perfect way of conveying how sad and backwards their behaviour is. But with logical sense as to how and why they work like they do. To get a little personal about my own experience. When the relationship ended my ex moved on so fast that I could not believe it. I was in such a chock. I was "ok, thats just how she moves on". Justifying her actions. But when time went by I realised she never actually loved me. THEN the pain hit me. Every fiber of my being was invested in her and our relationship. I loved her so much. 😔 I had asumed so hard that she felt the same as me about me. I could not accept the reality. I was expecting her to show up at my door explaining that I truly was her one and only. But nothing happened. I was dying inside. The truth of the whole thing slowly crept up on me. And all I could do was to feel the agony and cry until I was numb. I felt about myself like she treated me then. Like nothing. Heartbroken doesnt quite describe it. It felt like I was left in my life at 34 years of age to wait until I die of old age without any belief in myself or in love. Its the most broken I have ever been. Man now I am crying again thinking about how in despair I was. I can really see why this experience of yours propelled you into wanting to help others. It truly is horrific. When I feel better I am going to try and help others to.

25 years with a covert narcissist! It was a complete lie!

This was so similar. Assumptions made on time spent that you realize were only for the most elementary supply. It seems through innuendo, subtle triangulations, that you are conditioned not to ask if this relationship is exclusive. Your aware your competing in a weird way yet not directly this for that. You dont want to pushy or set conditions. You'll earn it. Never happens in the way you assume. You can be primary for months yet old supply takes priority especially in a public appearance. Then its back to you. You ask, are you embarrassed by me, we always go to eat out of the area ? , ( < btw...huge give away. ) Once in a while Tourette's honesty come out she didn't want to hurt so and sons feeling. But your car is in her driveway, easily seen every night ? And you still are trying. My own assumptions were wrong.. Welcome to narcissistic entrapment. Lies of compulsive deception and yes lies of omission. Excellent, useful to others topic. Its still fascinating learning mostly about situational awareness as the grifters, of many dimensions, will always look for vulnerability.

Great video. They manage to weave OMISSIONS even in the most general conversations. Also, assume they lie about most things and lastly consider loyalty and reciprocation as a permanent cognitive dysfunction of these individuals.

Wow, you just retold my story! Thank you for spreading the knowledge. ❤

What's worse was my ex who kept coming back and INITIATED all of it. In the end none of it was true. She claimed I was the love of her life but once we moved in together it was obvious she didn't want anything to do with me.

Sometimes extreme loyalty can be a red flag.

"it's a shock to realize i was in this on my own the whole time" FOR FUCKING REAL LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT???

Such an accurate and informative video, thank you. I wish watching this kind of video were somehow mandatory for young people and adults, it could help so many because as you say people assume so much about others such as good intention, love and caring and narcissists are devoid of all of that, but perform them so convincingly.

“Intermittent, nonsensical praise.” What a perfect phrase. That encapsulates the whole experience for me.

Like all your videos this one is also beautifully articulate and probably the best single video on understanding the malicious, noxious parasites on YT. My saga/nightmare was before narcissism was a 'thing' and it took many years afterwards to gain some sort of understanding of what I was up against. The seismic shocks to the soul still reverberate somewhat even after all this time. Anyway, outstanding work that deserves 1m+ subscribers. I wish you continued success.

It's a little more than assumption. These narcissists lie and tell you they love you, want to marry you, and promise to be faithful to you. The assumption is that they are healthy minded and mean what they say.

Wow, great analogy serving bad food. Nobody would think that. I get it.

After she caused me a serious internal injury and I was dying from pain , she acted like she was the victim as she had to deal with someone who was suffering , suffering that was caused by her ! She started to act so distant when I needed her the most , and her behavior was causing me emotional pain on top of the physical pain I was, and have been in , ever since . It was at that lowest point of my life that I decided to cut off the breadcrumbs I was getting , while feeling so vulnerable . She was perfectly fine with me not having answered her last text and I never heard from her again . She did not even care if I was alive , or have able to get the rt treatment . Since the no contact , I have travelled coast to coast to see supposed experts to treat the symptoms but no one has been able to know for sure if it’s the nerve damage or a trauma related spasm of core internal muscles that is constricting the nerves or vessels , all alone , and I feel like she could have not cared less , otherwise at least she would have checked on me, as she had seen me what pain she had caused me !

I have such a hard time acknowledging how little they care! and so I get stuck in a confusion loop.

Right. That’s spot on. They are a false narrative. That’s the truth of the matter. Stay strong. Your a smart cookie. Sometimes I wonder when I look at the cemetery plots. How many or what is the percentage of people that went through what we went through, not knowing becuz then was then and now is now. Isn’t that quite interesting. I think it is.

Your healing on the run. Awesome video...

Your example is confirmation to me of what I'm dealing with. I never imagined what shame and rage would be evoked in my homeless "friends" when they heard I had told people, starting with the County, that I was "carrying" them financially. Code Enforcemect demanded that I remove their tent, their only home, from my property. I appealed after finding no homeless shelter for them, telling the County they would have no support if I forced them to leave. Apparently, it is more important to them that people hear they contribute $1.53/day toward the utilities they use than that I have provided them with the comforts of a stable home, all utilities included, for 6 1/2 years. Btw, they have never made regular, ongoing payments of any kind that I've been able to rely on to cover the utilities they use. I've been yelled at for saying I'm carrying them, harassed through voice mail and called a liar, and accused of shaming them wrongly. When that began, I knew something was terribly wrong with these people I had believed were my friends. Now I know, and it's too late to comply with the County to make them leave, because they've taken over my house at my complete expense.

Wow! He never care! When I asked him if we could have peace and stopped the drama he said that wouldn’t work for him…

A ketchup bottle. Hilarious, yet true. Folks you need to let that sink in. If anyone knows this I do. I will never ever date again. No kids, never been married. Good.😵‍💫

I’ve watched 100s of KZfaq’s on this I guess when I’m Healed I will stop !!!!

These truths have been hard to swallow.

You're a kind and beautiful person who must have suffered a lot of undeserved pain.

Your analogies are so on point! Thank you!

Boyfriend only called me on the phone while I had Covid. No offer of bringing me food or supplies to leave at my door. Yet, I MUST drive to him or else we wouldn’t be in a relationship. Everything is one-sided. No effort from him whatsoever. He tells me he loves me to keep me there.

Spot On!!! Thank You so much!!

I find your videos so insightful. Thanks.

So so very true!!❤❤

I'm so happy I cane across your channel! I've been binge watching your videos and it gave me chills on how your thinking style is alot like mine. You have an indept, deeper beneath the surface empathic way of understanding the hows and whys behind narcissism. I've been out of a narcissistic relationship for 10 years ( married to a malignant narc for almost 16 years back then) There was very little info out there on this and I first heard about it on self help forums and online articles a few months before I ended it, went no contact. Discovered later on my journey educating myself on narcissism, many YT channels and articles, books, some therapy, that both parents and most of my family were narcissists of the worst kind (full no contact for years now) I've done alot of healing (always an ongoing process) but I still do research sometimes and analyze this because we are surrounded by these types of people in this world. I think part of it is also the validation of your experience you get from knowing that others experienced the same evil. The amount of trauma, cptsd, adrenal fatigue and anxiety from this type of abuse is huge. I wish your channel was available when I was coming out of that 'transaction' lol I would love your take on how narcs use objects as supply (my ex used a trumpet to garner supply, teaching himself how to play) and how they use 'things' i.e. letters, photos, etc. to remember old supply as a temporary hit when low on supply. Thank you so much for all you're doing to help people. ❤🌷🙏 You have a very good way of explaining the subject matter.

This is truly shocking and unfathomable!

It’s very difficult when your abusive cruel narc is your own daughter who intentionally keeps my young grandchildren from me. Because of my good qualities. Pure jealousy, like when Cain killed Abel. If she can’t meet their needs, she certainly isn’t going to let me fill them even though I love them. They have a granddaddy who loves them. Nope, can’t have that. How dare my grandchildren have positive experiences with me. I have realized that a narc doesn’t want to share. They hate my very existence. They want to get rid of the evidence. They want me to disappear, even if it’s dying.

I knew one narcissist in particular who was a cryptofascist. Only in retrospect could I see how much narcissistic supply he got from having this secret and secretly lording it over me and his family, thinking he was so much smarter than us and playing us for "dupes".

thumbs-up number 24

This is incredible true and clearifiying. A great help. Thank you.

Really good video! Also what you said about the plot twist, yes it was wild, like Truman show crazy. I always talked about conspiracies with my ex, that he turned out to be the conspiracy!! 😮

Brillant video. Thanks a lot !

Thank you SO MUCH for this video! 🤝

I was plotted also. Your a smart cookie. And very strong. You got this. I know you do.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Going thru this now.. 😏

After ending our 35 years marriage his final lie of omission is to erase me from our joint experiences. He posts that "I traveled out here from the midwest" and "my daughter..." ive been erased completely.

DITTO!!!

If your watching this video your in trouble liste listening to her!!!!!

Most shocking in a romantic relationship i woukdnt say that i wouod say its most shocking in a parent relationship you grow up on ving and trusting your mind ther this goes on for decades until you're u relize whats been happening if yours u get into a romantic relationship it shouldnt take you that long to relize and even though your hurt you can walk away get over it and move on that impossible to do when its been your parent thats a narcissist thats a lifetime of abuse and destruction that can neither be repaired and neither will you be able to forget and get over

I knew gradually that my sister was a selfish, mean girl, I hadn not .istened to the boys who complained about her really, I hated her, and when drunk at her wedding told everyone what a nasty piece of work she was, the guy she married was a full on alcoholic, I was very surprised when she became a solicitor, studying through abso ute mayhem, so they can accomplish amazing things, more fecently I came to realisation my other sister is npd, went no contact in March, i had a gutful of being shamed in ,y life, nasty cruel, and abusive non stop, mother was same thank god she left ear.y in ,y Iife, but I suffered a lot to say least, father schizophrenic abusive, no wonder zi am alone , damaged goods but with a big unappreciated heart!

No they don’t see what you done, you does it for free and not on his demand! So you don’t have to expect anything back !!!! You did it for free so what do you want back??? He told me this you did it for free you haven’t to do this!!! Crazy!! If you expect somthing back from me this is your problem!!!! You haven’t had to do this!!!!

I think when you date a stranger, you need to get tough, because as a woman i have met mostly takers, they want sex and then its saonara baby! Don't have sex for 6 months at least,😂then you will know what you have got on your hands!, there are a lot of psychos out there, beware, do not let your guard down😅be tough, you are not a play thing, you are a valuable, ,aybe fragile woman or man! Goes for men too, there are also dreadfu Cruel women out there!