Hi guys! I've gotten a LOT of requests to make a video about Emily. I'm working on the video now and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the character- my videos on Rory and Lorelai were based on my perspective so I want to see what the general public thinks of Emily so that I can produce a more well rounded analysis of her! Thanks for watching and stay tuned :)

Lorelai was an incredible mother, but I feel like the show is a perfect representation of inappropriate boundaries in the parent/child dynamic. Rory is a product of adultification. Much like Lorelai is always treated like a child regardless of age, Rory has always been treated as a best friend and confidant to her mother, an emotional burden too big for a small child to handle. We see the results of this in the way Rory socializes. Conversation with adults flow easily, she doesn't click with "normal girls" yet bonds with Lane and Paris (other adultified children). She is praised for her maturity, yet when plans fall apart she has child-like reactions, crying fits, or angry selfish "I deserve this" outbursts. She is aching to be soothed and coddled because these outbursts may be the only time her emotional needs are centered in her mother's life, considering Lorelai is often in her own head about her own trauma. In the Gilmore house, problems often aren't addressed until a scene is made. We've seen enough Friday night dinner fights to spot the pattern, haha. I think it fully sinks in for Lorelai that Rory isn't as mature as she has believed (or *needed* her to be) when she caught Dean cheating on his wife with Rory. She finally sees the little girl making foolish mistakes she never allowed her daughter to be on full display. We the viewer then watch their relationship slowly deteriorate over the next few years as it becomes apparent Rory is brilliant but is fueled by external validation. Rory, even at 30, still can't see her worth outside of awards and accolades.

Lorelai raised Rory differently than she herself was raised. She broke the cycle. Even tho she wasn't perfect, you can't say she didn't try her best. I can definitely appreciate that.

She tried so hard to get Rory back on the right track when she was still young. Rory ignored her and followed the rich and entitled path of her grandparents so in my opinion it’s all on Rory for her downfall.

there were so many moments where my heart completely broke for lorelai bc emily gaslighted and emotionally manipulated her so much and so openly in a lot of their fights and lorelai ended up apologizing for being in the right?? like i understand respect for elders and parents yadda yadda but she was just wronged so many times and nobody was acknowledging how much it broke her down :(

Me and my mom are currently rewatching Gilmore girls and since I have gained more interest in film since the last time we watched it I start to notice more things, like the emotional or psychological reasons behind characters decisions. Before I just thought “oh that’s what the character would do” but now I can see things like Lorelei saying yes to Rory most of the time BECAUSE she was rarely told yes. Anyways, that’s all-

Lorelai Gilmore is most definitely my favourite fictional character of all time. She's realistically flawed, there are definitely moments when you just want to punch her, but she is hard-working, dependable, witty and caring person who loves her daughter and friends. People often talk about how she ruins her romantic relationships (which is due to trauma from childhood, as mentioned), but it's hardly ever mentioned about what kind of friend she is. She's supportive, always there when needed, she was also big part of Stars Hollow, always helping with costumes and events. Again, she wasn't perfect, but she always tried to be good and helpful person (which is something I didn't see in Rory or Emily to be honest)

the emotional abuse also shows in that one eoisode where lorelai was having flashbacks of being pregnant. there was a specific scene that broke me, and it was when it showed young lorelai struggling to fit in a dress and emily told her to exsersize up to fit in it. i love emily but i dont think she made a good parent whatsoever, and that mainly influenced lorelais character wehn she grew up.

It could have been so easy for Lorelia to become a bitter mother - after years of being in a emotional abusive and toxic enviroment. Then with chrisotpher leaving and her being on her own. It could have easily been that Lorelia blamed Rory for the way her life was. However, she choose to be the opposite . It takes great strength to get trauma like that and raise Rory the way she did. While Lorelia isn't perfect she is incredibly strong, and a great mother.

I really hated how Lorelai's parents disrespected her. They should have been less worried about appearances and could have listened to her more, then things may have turned out differently. Then again, if they had, it would not have been the same show! Might you do a feature on Emily?

I binged this recently, and I was so annoyed at Lorelai's lack of communication skills, then I realized it was just a plot device, that all characters fell trap of, the trope of "I'm hurt, or I want something, but I get angry about something unrelated, and by the end I come clean about my real feelings", even Taylor does this many times. I guess we didn't have a culture of emotional maturity as a society back then.

I've watched GG so many times over the years with my mum - starting when I was around 8 years old. Every time I watch it, my perception of each character shifts slightly. There's so much to unfold.

I remember the one thing that really struck me about how Rory viewed her mother is when she said "you don't understand what it was like there," when referring to living for a few months with her grandparents. It is astounding that Rory thought that what she went through in the last like, month or so living with them was anything to compare to what Lorelai had been through for the first 16 years of her life. Rory had already had time to develop and establish herself and her voice before she purposely thrusted herself into what SHE KNEW was a toxic environment to live in. Lorelai was born into it, had no choice until she was BARELY old enough to make the choice for herself. I do think there is something to be said for Lorelai not correctly knowing how to set boundaries. There is that line of "Rory and I are best friends first and mother and daughter second," which is not a particularly health child-parent dynamic, but you can see how she would wildly swing in the opposite direction of what her parents did despite it potentially not being the best decision. Also this show is like, weirdly anti-choice about pregnancy situations which makes me uncomfortable.

So I recently started rewatching Gilmore Girls for the first time since my early 20s and while I do agree that overall Loralie is a good mother, there are definite ways in which she contributed to Rory’s struggles. She didn’t encourage Rory to follow her dreams, she’s the one who PLANTED the dreams. She bought Rory Harvard clothes when she was a toddler, and said she couldn’t remember when she wasn’t talking about Harvard with Rory. She even asks Rory in the first season if Harvard was her dream or rory’s. Rory of course said she didn’t feel pressure from her mother, it’s what she wanted, but how could it be? Loralie wants her to have what she didn’t have, and wants her to do it away from the domain of her parents, which is why she’s so upset when Rory ultimately chooses Yale. When Rory has an outburst or does something other than be a sweet, dutiful bookworm Loralie always says “this isn’t you.” She also raises Rory with very few consequences for her actions so by the time Rory becomes an adult and IS experiencing consequences for her actions she doesn’t know how to handle it. She completely flounders because of her nurtured sense of entitlement. I think Loralie is overly romanticized as a character, and I think part of that is because in comparison to the truly vile Emily Gilmore anyone would shine.

I agree. I think Emily and Richard contributed considerably more to Rory's downfall than Lorelai. They shared fantastical ideas about Rory and coddled her endless with no critical thinking, on the condition that she continues to comply. That’s toxic and mind numbing.

I love lorelai and i have always hated emily for not understanding basic child psychology and honestly no matter how touching the sob story i will never like emily. Lorelai is a true to herself and never tried so hard as rory to justify her actions the ending broke me and i was just SHATTERED at the scene were she was fighting with luke. LAUREN GRAHAM IS A DAMN GOOD ACTRESS.

My mom had me when she was eighteen, so I thought I’d be able to relate to this whole teenage daughter and “cool mom” thing Gilmore Girls has going on, but that’s just not how me and my mom are. My mom had to grow up at such a young age, meanwhile Lorelei seems like she hasn’t grown up at all. I believe my mom is a good mom, and Lorelei is a good mom too, but I just think if she was more strict and a tad bit more critical of Rory, she wouldn’t have ended up so messed up. We all struggle with shit, my mom struggles just like I’ve seen Lorelei in TV, the difference is in the way we deal with that, and Lorelai does it in a very ineffective and sometimes harmful wat

Lorelai is my favorite character! It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people say Lorelai was a bad parent and then will also go on to say that Emily and Richard weren't that bad and Lorelai was overreacting. Great video!

I think for a teen mom without very good role models for parenting herself, she did okay. I do think she messed up Rory, though. Encouraging your child to follow their dreams is great and important but you also have to help them be realistic. No one ever stepped in to suggest that Rory wasn’t being realistic or honest with herself. Dreams change but everyone seemed very invested in Rory being a journalist even though there wasn’t a lot of evidence that she could do it and even when she took a semester off. No one even came in and said “‘maybe you need to change majors, maybe this isn’t making you happy and is really just giving you anxiety.” Everyone put pressure on Rory to be the person that Lorelei couldn’t be, despite the fact that Lorelei managed to become successful in her own right despite being a teenage and then single mother. How much of Rory is really Rory and how much is Lorelei and Lorelei’s projections on Rory? I am of the firm belief that the person Rory actually is without her mom’s pressure is probably more the woman we see with Logan at Martha’s Vineyard, but that’s a whole other can of worms. I just think there are times where Lorelei behaves like a friend when she should be being a mom. She seemed deeply incapable of letting Rory become anything outside of the vision she had for her.

There is a Gilmore Girls festival held every fall season in Kent, Connecticut...check it out! Update: OMG GG GALS, I cannot find any current 2021 information on this years festival, except how last year it was a secretive last minute event (inclusive) ☹️😣 Truly hope they do it, if not maybe we fans need to make shit happen?🤨😊

I think Lorelei is a wonderful example of what happens when you don’t work on healing your inner childhood wounds or past traumas. They wreak havoc on your life in so many areas, repeatedly . Then your children see your wounds and they acknowledge the way you react/handle it. Thus teaching your children unhealthy behavioral habits and no ways of finding an actual solution. Children mostly learn through example and are more prone to repeating the pattern, unconsciously. *Generational trauma*

finally someone that defends lorelei! to me she’s one of the only characters that actually grows throughout the show and any flaw that ppl like to attach to her can be explained by her background which I’m not saying is an excuse but rlly explains it. she was always being the best mom to rory and she always tried with her parents even when they were terrible to her. yes she was childish and not the best in her relationships but watching her grow and show maturity in her relationships was so cool. i will be a fan of hers forever. it’s rlly sad rory ended up the way she did

Currently rewatching and I feel bad for Lorelai even though I don't like her character very much. There are SO many moments where she legit tries so hard to appease Emily, to have a mature adult conversation with her without being sarcastic, and it just never works, Emily has a hurt inner child and can't let go of her manipulative ways. Like when they go to the spa together and no matter how Lorelai tries to save their weekend, Emily finds new ways to get upset and ruin things... I felt so bad for Lorelai and all the effort she made. The only way you can deal with a person like that which is what Lorelai does is to set boundaries and not get her involved in her life. And that's what makes Emily SO mad, that she can't control her daughter. Anyhow I LOVED Emily's ending in a year in the life.

I loved Lorelei first time around but on rewatch noticed how self centered she is especially where Sooki is concerned

Christopher wasn’t present during Rory’s upbringing because Lorelai said she didn’t want him there and wanted to do ‘it’ (raising Rory) on her own. They’ve both discussed it in episodes and he’s expressed he should have still been there instead of respecting her wishes. Lorelai WANTED to be a single mum and I think sometimes people miss this and dislike Christopher so much for not being there even though it’s what Lorelai wanted.

The ONE thing that i just absolutely hate about lor is that she constantly hates on Jess, who’s like 16-17 in the beginning. Like come on he’s a child

Really loved this one Trin! I’ve always had a soft spot for Lorelai, she reminds me of a less strict version of my own mom -just a couple of strong, independent, young matriarchs lol. I think it’s easy to call Lorelai immature or childish in the earlier seasons but when you think about how much of your 20s is spent learning about life and maturing it only makes sense that someone thrust into adulthood at only 16 would be a little behind the learning curve in their early 30s, although like you pointed out Lorelai does such a great job managing work and fun it honestly doesn’t feel like Lorelai is ever that far behind. The food thing could maybe be a combination of her being kind of like a teen herself and the fact that nutritious food is expensive and typically time consuming to prepare; as a single working mom it’s not always possible to prepare those kinds of meals and she probably never learned how. I grew up on snacks and microwave meals until my mom slowly taught herself to cook but we also didn’t have a diner to go to lol. Just wanted to give my 10¢ and let you know I loved the video only thing missing was the Sweet Baby Ray’s outro but good stuff dude knew it was only a matter of time before you blew up and I love to see it❤️❤️

Loved this video, so accurate!! After watching and reading some of the comments, I wanted to add my perspective from the show. People are putting a lot of blame on Lorelai for being part of Rory's "downfall" but I think there was some significant influence from her grandparents that contributed largely to this. Lorelai rejected her parents' world from the get-go, and had no interest in it or "taking anything from them." She only ever asked them for help when it was her absolute last resort (i.e. paying for Rory's education, fixing the house, etc.) She was a role model for good work ethic and independence for Rory. I could not find cause at all during the show to ever refer to Lorelai as lazy. That girl worked her PINK sweatpants-wearing-booty off and it showed. It still amazes me how far she got on her own at such a young age with a baby. She defied every single person who ever doubted her and I consider her a feminist role model (I also wish she was my mom sometimes lol). And Rory follows this example to a T, at least initially. When we're introduced to Rory, we are shown a hard-working and dedicated young girl with big academic and career aspirations. And she continues to embody this persona for most of the show. I think her downfall really started when Lorelai's parents became a part of her life. These two people who she saw maybe a couple times a year and were next to strangers, were suddenly involved in her life in a big way. And although she heard all the stories and cautionary tales from her mom, Rory was naturally curious about her grandparents, from whom she had been estranged from her entire life. Rory then got used to them always being there and slowly began to depend on them, and I think Richard and Emily saw her as a "do over" after Lorelai. It got to the point whenever she was in trouble and her mom was not there to help her (or her mom was the trouble) she went running to them and they coddled her and did not hold her accountable for anything. While Lorelai was not a perfect mom, she did a good enough job that I think without her parents influence, Rory would have ended up in a much better place than she did. If Rory did not have her grandparents to run to every time Lorelai refused to support a decision Rory made, maybe without that safety net she would have gained a lot more independence. The life lessons and values Lorelai had been trying to instill in her daughter from day one were jeopardized when her parents became a part of her life again.

Your voice is so soothing

i feel like lorelai was way better at being a mom than at being a daughter

Very excited to see an Emily Gilmore video. My favorite Gilmore for sure. But also probably the most chaotic energy to unpack

I think the problem is that a lot of people see the show as being about Rory growing up but I think it's about Lorelai growing up and becoming a success story despite being a teen mom.

The only time I ever truly felt like Lorelei was making a big mistake as a mother was when Lindsey and her mother ran into she and Rory in the town square, and Lindsey’s mother lit into Rory about the affair, and Lorelei defended her. Rory needed to hear that, even if it was unpleasant, in order to understand that she can’t do or have whatever she wants without consequences. And other than that confrontation, she ran from it until everything was settled so she never did face true consequences for her part in destroying a marriage. Was she alone in doing so? Certainly not, but she held a big part in it and she deserved to learn a lesson for it, because Dean certainly did. But Lorelei protected her in the one moment that might’ve given Rory a reason to understand that what she had done was wrong, that she had hurt a lot of people and she essentially tore apart a marriage. The frustrating thing about that scene is that Lindsey’s mother essentially said very similar things to what Lorelei said when she saw Dean leaving and realized that Rory had slept with him. But Lorelei never said anything after that, and she protected her from anyone else who did, which then made Rory think it was all sunshine and roses to go and do it again when the revival came around, and she had an affair with Logan.

Really appreciate this take on Lorelai because I will fight people to the death defending her lmao. I 100% believe that Rorys downfall had far more to do with becoming more involved with her grandparents than it being Lorelais failures as a mom. Rory became more entitled when she started having easy money come her way and seeing how Emily and Richard behaved. Emily and Richard made Lorelai feel like an alien in her own home, and she never once did that to Rory. But Rory would run to her grandparents to get her out of every situation so she didn't have to deal with the consequences. I watched this show in my late 20s so I ended up relating more to Lorelai than I did Rory so I think it was easy for me to see all of Rorys screw ups and where they were really coming from. I think its easier to understand why Lorelai acts the way she does when you lived a similar situation. I would have given anything to have a mom like her.

I’m a Gilmore Girls fanatic. You did a great job describing Lorelai etc❤️

A lot of people watch the show for Rory, but to me, Lorelai is the relatable and aspirational character

Great points! I've always found that Lorelai was one of the only constants(or at least more consistent when compared to Rory) in the show. This might come down to Lorelai being older and in some cases more mature. Throughout the show Lorelai never came across as unreasonable. And whenever she did, there was some motive to the decision. I think you’re spot on when discussing Lorelai as a great role model and mother. As a mother she had her flaws, but mostly did a good job in supporting Rory and nudging her on the right track. But her true flaws were prominent whenever she was in an argument with Emily. Yes, characters need flaws, that’s what makes them relatable or at least realistic, and that’s fine. But in the later seasons of the show, after various character arks, developments and plot points were reaching their closures, the one issue that never truly got resolved was Lorelai’s relationship with Emily. I couldn’t help but feel the writers we’re manufacturing conflicts. Nothing seemed natural, neither human behavior nor decision making seemed to be the right choice. Lorelai always wanted to punish Emily. And sure, I could see why Lorelai would feel that way. But sometimes I could audibly hear the writers running into a dead end behind the lines of dialogue between Lorelai and Emily. Most of the arguments between them felt disconnected with their personalities(this could be down to the fact that they bring out the worst in each other and that’s fair) and was borderline superfluous. This direction in Lorelai and Emily’s development was my only issue that I couldn’t help but disconnect me from the immersion of the story. The writers wanted a conflict, and an argument between Lorelai and Emily was a solution for that. But focusing on the topics of your video, you’re absolutely right. Lorelai was a wonderful mother, and that was evident with the way she conducted herself to others especially to Rory and the people who accepted her with open arms despite her quirky behaviors.

She was a good mon but I didnt like when she excused her daughter affair whit a married man in FRONT of the wife and mother of the wife.... like... SHE was the victim god! NOT Rory, but still she manage to paint her like that when they were in total right to be upset whit Rory, and was so wtf because until that moment she was doing the things right confronting rory about the affair.

One thing i noticed is that both loralai and rory hate confrontations. The expect that if they avoid the situation it would work out on itself. Spoilers For example, the last episodes of season 1 where loralai was supposed to mary max. She didnt actually love him and instead of sitting and talking with him, she ran away with rory

I love that you point out the positiv aspects of Lorelei. In my opinion you are also right with all the flaws you mentioned and all the issues of Lorelei. What I REALLY don't like is that Emily and Richard or Lorelei are constantly blamed for Loreleis or Rorys behaviour and mistakes. Yes their upbringing was not perfect BUT they are both 30+ years old. Rory in the revival and Lorelei in all Seasons. A person of 30+ can't always blame their upbringing. We need to fix our issues and for that we need to own them.

I think the way she's stuck in her 16 year old mindset is why Christopher stays with her for so long, she always just wants the dream she had with him and keeps the emotions she had towards him. This is why in s7 when they get married it is a good thing (brave for me to say I know) because she has finally realised the way that he only fits into her 16 year old dream life not her life as it turned outed hence he isn't the man for her. This means that she can fully commit to Luke and FINALLY put Christopher in her past where he belongs

Lorelai reminds me so much of my own mom. Her and I had a long conversation about the show, and I mentioned that every time I watch it, there's a part of me that wishes that I could have had that relationship with her. She told me that she actually thought about it, and the older I get, and the more I think about it, I think I would have turned out a much healthier, happier man. As opposed to the depressed and closed off man I am today. I actually lived a very similar childhood to Lorelai, because my grandparents are upper middle class, distant, and hyper judgmental to my life and the way I turned out. Only until I moved out and made the move in with my now fiance, did they finally accept that I will be and do whatever I feel is right for me. I'm doing a lot better, but there's still a hole in my heart that longs for the relationship I never got with my mom. Lorelai is my favorite fictional mother, not for the way she acts or treats the people around her, but because she's the mother my mom would have been, had she been given the chance.

Ok fine I’ll watch the entire series for the third time lol

such incredible analysis! thank you so much for sharing this! I love you, beautiful soul

I say it on every video but this show did such a good job showing realistic human flaws. There is no perfect mom. While we can acknowledge how her childhood impacted her adult struggles, it doesn’t excuse her own responsibility for adult mistakes. Just like how we can see that her choices did impact Rory, Rory is still responsible for her own mistakes. I think most people can relate to having lifelong challenges that we’ve been dealing with since childhood and probably always will struggle with, but in my opinion, the real mark of maturity is being able to acknowledge your parents role in that without blaming them or making excuses, or hating your parents for just being human like the rest of us.

I also think you should do a video on Emily. Throughout most of the series, we only really saw Lorelai's POV of her mother. Lorelai, and the show doesn't highlight the good qualities that she has. She's involved, she's deeply devoted to Richard, she works hard to make sure that Rory is taken care of when she goes to Chilton (however, she does make some mistakes and acts in her own self interest). But truthfully, I don't think Lorelai gives her mother much credit. Lorelai is a strong woman, and so is her mother. They had completely different lives, but to me, the fact is, although Emily was controlling and manipulative, she just wanted the best for her daughter, even though each Gilmore girl had their own definition of it.

I’ve always felt that Rory and Lorelei had more of a best friend relationship.

Yes! Finally the analysis Lorelai deserves ❤ Thank you!!!!!!

i love lorelei and i agree she gets better at talking to people about her problems as she gets older, i mean, look at how she dealt with max vs how she dealt with luke

I think Lorelei did her best and was a great mother. I think her main problem is that at times she over praises Rory for things, the same way everyone else does. I think for Lorelei she wanted to give Rory the emotional support she never got and it really only backfired bc Rory was viewed by everyone as perfect and everyone told her that.

I've seen several (all interesting) video essays on Rory, but you are the first I've seen to truly tackle the (just as interesting, if not more so at times) character of Lorelai. :) everyone else I've seen try just focused on the surface, or misunderstood her character. Nice video!

I love this video essay! So well thought out. It's like you put all of my thoughts into a video :)

the love lorelai has for rory is incredible.

i really love that even though lorelai didn't get therapy or didn't really adressed her traumas she still was a great mother and didn't pass on the abuse

That's the scary thing about parenthood. You never know how your child will turn out. Yes, Lorelai has her flaws and i do think she enabled and encouraged some of Rory's bad behaviour but she did the best she could with what she had. It was her first time being a mum, and a teenage mum at that but she worked hard to provide for Rory and did quite well for herself

despite any of her flaws, lorelai was and forever will be my favorite character ( along with jess)

I enjoyed this video a lot and have been waiting for someone to do one like this! I personally know Lorelai is my favorite character because we’ve gone through basically the same thing. My father isn’t rich, but he does unrealistically high standards and doesn’t let me be who I really am. Emily is very emotionally abusive and gaslights Lorelai a lot. This is why Lorelai is so much like her because of the trauma she’s endured and hasn’t sat to process her emotions. Lorelai does get on my nerves, but I really like her.

Thank you my daughter and I were Rory and Lorali. We had our uos and downs but. I was a single mom with 2 at home.. So it was hard. But I did it.. And with no ones help.. My ex never paid me child support for my 2nd child at home.. Lots of struggling. I worked 2 jobs. So its possible. I am thankful for Gilmore Girls we watched it like clockwork. I wasn't a perfect mother either. None of us are.. But I did my best.. Thank u.. She had a rough up bringing.

Lorelai I applaud her for making life better for rory by making sacrifices for her education but at 16 she made some pretty poor choices for rory excluding chris from parenting running away from home to live in a shed. She didn't have to do that her parents were helping her child be safe and secure at 16 decides to risk that for her child by running away to live in a shed and working as a maid. That us exceedingly irresponsible. If I were I'd graciously accept my parents help and as supportk for advice wisdom go to college and make a better life for my child and encourage my child's dad to be actively involved. Lorelai granted she is 16 at the time lackes wisdom and needed to be humble and think ahead

i love your gilmore girls videos so much

I WILL FOREVER LOVE HER

I LOVE LORELAI !!!! even though she has her lapses,,,, i think all the good things she does for not only rory but to everyone around her outweighs it soooooo much !!! she's like the mediator everywhere she goes,,, stars hollow neighbors, town meetings, even in rory's relationships! i just love her soooo much. to think that even when she felt imprisoned by her parents, she still turned out to be such a good person anda great adult who most people adore and have the best sense of humor !!!!! 💛💛💛💛

This is a very well done video, great job!!

Lorelei punished Rory when Rory made a mistake. I don't think that the fact that she trusted her own daughter was wrong. Rory was a good child most of the times and Lolerai didn't want to be like her own mother. Rory's downfall is not only Lorelai's mistake but everyone who always thought that Rory cannot be outsmarted by anyone. I still remember when Rory slept with Dean even when she was married Lorelai called out on that and said that her daughter wouldn't blame the wife for that. She held Rory accountable for many things and trued her best to show Rory that she will love and support her no matter what she becomes

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!

Lorelai inherited her mother's exactingly high standards, and her grandmother's extreme inability to ever bend or compromise. If something is not exactly what she wants in the exact way she wants it, she does not want it at all and then tends to blow it up or ruin the thing she does not want. This shows up again and again. A very blunt example would be when she is on a date with Jason Stiles and he reserved a private room for them in the restaurant. She can't stand that the date isn't exactly what she wants (she wants to be out in the very loud and boisterous main dining) that she ruins the entire date and makes Jason feel like crap. This also happens a lot with Sookie and Michelle, when they don't fulfill her vision of how things should go at the inn, when Rory decides to go to Yale, rather than Harvard, with Lorelai's inability to compromise on her house, even when it blatantly doesn't work for her new family situation, and her relationship with Luke. Rory has learned to give way to her mother, and Emily is forced to similarly compromise her standards and expectations to keep Lorelai around, though Lorelai constantly tries to ruin that relationship as well, since Emily is not exactly what Lorelai wants at all times. Lorelai gets along with Luke because Luke gives way to Lorelai at nearly all times, making whatever adjustments she wants, and does not mind when Lorelai implies he is dumb or ignorant. The one time Luke does not give Lorelai what she wants, she breaks up with him and sleeps with her ex.

While lorelai wasnt perfect, she was an overall good mother: she created an open communication channel between rory and her, and thats something mothers tend to not do, she was always open to listen to her daughter and support her, she trusted rory like no one and balanced the whole "mom-best friend" thing. My mom often wants to talk to me about whats going on with me and i automatically shut her out cause i know how she'll, the thing with lorelai was that she waited for rory to tell her stuff, encouraged her to do that. It always made me mad when rory wouldnt tell her something, it only created problems.

One thing that annoyed me about Lorelai was that she relied on Rory being the decision-maker, and almost parent, the majority of the time and I feel like this was because she was born in a strict household.I feel like she had to fend for herself and Rory whilst Rory was growing up but once Rory turned 16, she kind of took a step back and Rory was expected to be the responsible one, despite Lorelai being the adult. Additionally, I don't think Lorelai realizes the privilege she had growing up, like I understand that she went through a tough childhood but at the same time if it wasn't for her parents, Rory wouldn't have also been afforded the same schooling as Lorelai

Great video!! I would love to see your analysis on Emily’s character. Kelly Bishop is my queen.

the truth is parenting is the hardest thing ever. you could be a good person and a good parent but your kids could still not turn out to be good people, and you could still fail them

She’s my fav character I adore i just want to hug her and listen to her

as much as emily and richard weren't the perfect parents, at a certain point lorelai needs to grow up and realize that it might just be herself making these mistakes (if that makes sense). she complains about her mother but repeatedly does not communicate, and pushes their buttons on purpose. lorelai is a good character and there are so many good things about her but you can't push all the bad away.

This is super random and I usually don't comment on stuff but my mother named me loralei (a more "unique" spelling of lorelai which is a major inconvenience bc people often spell it wrong) and I always hated my name until I understood where it came from. Watching Gilmore Girls for the first time was euphoric because I had never felt so connected to a show or characters before and that feeling made me develop a strong love for my name. I also found it interesting that rory (also named lorelai) and I have very similar outer personalities and lorelai shares my deepest personality traits which likely comes from us experiencing similar childhoods. And this is cheesy but sometimes I feel like the it's like some star aligned fate type of shit that I happened to be given this beautiful name that's attached to characters who are so close to my heart and who happen to be in such a funny, intelligent, comforting, and inspiring artistry of a tv show. Anywayyy, nice video lol :)

is it bad that i want to be like her when i grow up? i want to be a mom like this but every time i watch a video about Lorelai there is always comments about how much trust, love and support she gave to Rory, as a daughter I’d love to have this kind of relationship with my mom or even with my future daughter. Even tho the comments can make me double check about it i truly dont find Lorelai’s actions excessive. But i do have a lot to learn so please guide me so I don’t make a lot of mistakes in the future.

I like Lorelai but Lorelai doesn't punish Rory effectively though. She just argues with her and yells. But Rory never loses out on anything or suffers real consequences. Lorelai even said to Emily "we're best friends first" , which is not what you want. Her ob is a parent then a friend. Nor does Lorelai ever try and work with her parents to parent Rory consistently so Rory can't play them against each other to get her own way. I mean she sleeps with Dean and gets a trip to Europe from her grandmother as a reward.

My friends used to be so jealous of my mam, said I was allowed so much freedom and could do anything I wanted, that I was so lucky etc. My mother was always told no as a child& had a terrible childhood, so she wanted to say yes to as many of my wishes as possible. I got to do a lot and have a lot of experiences, but my mother had clear and firm boundaries and rules, and although they weren’t mentioned a lot I knew never to mess with them. She is, in my opinion, actually quite strict. But she trusted me to do everything responsibly and by the rules, so it looked as if I could do whatever I wanted and everyone thought she was really cool. I think lorelai does the same, she has rules and boundaries put in place but they don’t have to be mentioned because of the trusting she and Rory have.

Lorelai is a GREAT mother, imo, and strong as hell. Plus, she actually feels like a real person to me, more than the majority of characters do. I just don't have any patience for people who obviously WANT to see the worst in her. They can think what they want, but I'm just not here for it. I say this as someone who is nothing like Lorelai (but would genuinely benefit from being more like her tbh). My respect and appreciation for the character has only grown over time, and is at its peak now that I'm the age she was when the show began.

lorelai didnt want to raise rory the way she was raised so she did the complete opposite. i think a lot of mothers who do this forget that there needs to be a healthy balance

While Lorelai was a flawed person and not a ‘perfect’ mother. Saying that Lorelai never disciplined Rory is bollocks. Whenever Rory made a huge mistake Lorelai was the first to call her out. When Rory was stringing Dean along, Lorelei was the first to tell her to make up her mind. When Rory was taking criticism too personally Lorelai is the first person to tell her not to do that, even if Rory didn’t listen. Lorelai called out Rory cheating with Dean AND dropping out of Yale. Lorelai even stopped talking to Rory and reached out to Emily and Richard when Rory dropped out of Yale. I think the places where Lorelai failed with Rory was never being able to teach Rory communication skills because she herself hadn’t developed it yet. But she is a person, and her flaws obviously affected her parenting. But Lorelai was a very involved, dedicated mother that gave her daughter space when she needed and never demanded anything of her daughter except her own happiness.

i loved it! i9 personally think she is an amazing mom and she could be easy a few but shes an amazing mom!!

they also only mention this like once, but for the first 5 years of rory's life they lived in the storage shed at the independence inn that must have been a lot for a 16 year old with a privileged background and a child to deal with

YOU LITERALLY EXPLAINED MY OPINION ON THIS SO GREAT!!, like thats what I've been saying i know that Lorelai had her moment which caused rory to copy but ya'll need to understand she was so young when had rory, so she was bound to stay in a "immature" kind of personality as a way to re-live her childhood the way she needed and wanted. And also! she thought not scolding rory so much or letting her off easy was right bc she was sooo used to emily being manipulative and a gaslighter and she didn't want that with rory, she had a good intention she just didn't know how to execute it properly

I just love Lorelai, best character ever ❤

omg i love this

thank you so much for making this video. i consider lorelai a flawed but significant role model in my own life, as someone who disentangled herself from a toxic, privileged family dynamic and figured out how to build a good life. she is so much more complex than people give her credit for.

I love your Gilmore Girls analyses. Do you have any plan on doing more ?

i love her

Something I’ve always admired about Lorelai is that she chose to leave behind loads of wealth and the potential to have money be no object so she could live her own life, which is pretty ballsy. She chose to march to the beat of her own drum because life’s more fun that way and she wanted to work hard and do it on her terms which I %110 respect

love this nuance

love your channel

i started watching this show and got my mom into it and after two episodes we realized the whole family is literally our family but the gilmore’s are rich (even lorelei, she’s just high middle class idc how much they try to convince us she’s poor)

Lorelai (as I got older) is my favorite character. *Cue the Reba theme song.* Lorelai is a fighter, hardworking and knows what she wants. She does flub up relationships a lot. I think this video got it spot on, but Lorelai IMO is a great mother. Yes she was immature with Rory but when we meet them in season 1 she makes sure for the serious stuff like money issues or boyfriend stuff, she keeps Rory out of it. I think Lorelai didn't punish Rory bc that's how her parents treated her and she knew being open was better than scolding. Rory struggles bc she was a smarty pants from a small town who grew up to be a small fish in a big pond.

I think lorelai is also a great example of the “mom best friend”. I think at times she can be a little immature and not only that, but there’s no boundaries in her relationship with rory. I think that still, she is great mom, because at the same time, she wasn’t raised with a mom she can have to lean on or have a fun relationship. overall, lorelai is just trying, just like all moms, and raised rory so right, she will always be my fave and will defend her always

I agree with this entire thing.. Lorelai had a lot of growing up to do /alone/ and she often had to comfort her inner child along side comforting her actual child... it's overwhelming and she flawed but she doesn't really act like she's perfect either. she's very aware of her flaws

OMG YES! I agree with every single word you said. If someone asks me my opinion about Lorelai I'll just show them this video!

I think one of my favorite parenting moments from Lorelai is when Rory and Lane sneak off somewhere and lie to Mrs. Kim about it. Lorelai is alright with Lane coming over and living like them while she’s at the Gilmore house, but she understands how horrifying it is for a mom not to know where her child is and states that she wouldn’t have lied for the girls if they’d told her the truth. I just really like some of her boundaries as a “cool mom.”

My relationship to my mother is like lorelai and rory. She treated me as an equal and would share things with me like I was her friend, not her child. We were like best friends but I can see how that's not always good. She was sharing things that was too mature for me sometimes and the fact that I could hang out with my mom instead of friends made me not pursue kids my age to socialize. I'm not good at making friends.

rly good video bruh

I will NOT be standing for any Lorelai slander

I hope you decide to make more Gilmore Girls content in the future. I do wonder how you feel about the romantic interests? Are you a fan of Luke, Digger or Christopher? (Christopher actually has supporters) Maybe because I'm a guy or I'm older but when I rewatch GG, I tend to skip over the Rory stories and just watch Lorelai's stories. They are just more interesting to me than the drama of Chilton or the Life and Death Brigade....... less said about them the better.