MARRIAGE DYNAMICS (Vol. 10)
Mystery about Marriage
Contract Marriage is about Compromise!
Every contract sometimes involves negotiation, bargaining, and deal. This is the same in a contract marriage. It is a marriage that is based on negotiation, bargain, and deal. The partners in such marriage had a deal before they entered the marriage. The deals are either spoken or unspoken expectations, goals, or objectives.
Some partners had a bargain of the income they would make and careers they would have after they are married. Some men have secretly designed the types of work or career which their wives would embark on after they are married. Some partners had a bargain of the income they would make and careers they would have after they are married. Some men have secretly designed the types of work or career which their wives would embark on after they are married.
Many men even choose for their wives the kinds of work they want them to do after getting married. Some African men who are living overseas want their wives to be noses. Why? They believe that nurses make good money. Some women also want their husbands to have lucrative jobs. Some women want to marry men who will help them maintain their social, mundane, and cosmetic status. Both men and women always become disappointed and frustrated when any of their spouses refuse to tow in their lines of expectations or negotiations.
Marriage is not a negotiation or transaction. It is not what you want your spouse to be or become, rather it is what or who he or she is. Many people miss the silver lining because they are expecting gold.
Marriage is not what you want but who you want. It is not about what but who. It is not about the material but immaterial. It is not about the tangible but the intangible. It is not about quantity but quality. It is not about possession but protection. It is not about position but mission.
The expectations you bring to your marriage can make or break your marriage. The best expectation in marriage is not to expect anything. Marriage is not a business investment in which you expect something in return. It is a life investment in which you expect life in return. Life is more than just money, possession, position, and property.