Matt Whitaker's History Of Time-Travel, Toilets & Bigfoot
Рет қаралды 1,948,641
5 жыл бұрынTo say that Acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker was a snake oil salesman would be to leave out the other items from his catalogue, like toilets for the well-endowed and the concept of time-travel.
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@palsp666 5 жыл бұрын
My day isn't complete without Stephen's monologues.
@kennedybaz7254 5 жыл бұрын
Me too
@alikaandrade3435 5 жыл бұрын
Same here. Weekends are rough.
@rabindergangapersad3665 5 жыл бұрын
Make us 3;)
@justsaying3729 5 жыл бұрын
#Me Too!!
@junking7803 5 жыл бұрын
@@justsaying3729 #be best 🤣🤣
@Catydoll409 5 жыл бұрын
"When I wanna Google hints for the new Zelda game at work" Stephen is such an adorable being. protect him at all costs.
@987946216430 5 жыл бұрын
NOTE: they didn't defraud for $26 Million... that was their fine for defrauding investors, which means they defrauded investors much more than that!
@jamieh4148 5 жыл бұрын
Well no wonder tRUMP thinks he's qualified.
@wmwise6357 5 жыл бұрын
Our president is showing all the signs of a narcissist. Mrs McCain referred to him as Negative Nancy. I totally understand her. He should be solving the country's problem now and stop blaming Democrats and everyone else.
@MWSin1 5 жыл бұрын
I think the really sad thing is that anyone got millions of dollars of investment for a time traveling bigfoot.
@sabatino1977 5 жыл бұрын
And Trump University was fined $25milion for defrauding people. What a coincidence!!
@kennyw871 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent point, thanks for pointing that out.
@arlingtonguy54 5 жыл бұрын
I want to time travel back to my old reality.
@debbiehenri7170 5 жыл бұрын
Yep, you can drop me off during the early 1980's. Better music, better fashion, more jobs, less pollution, cheaper housing, free higher education, less EU rules crippling our every move.
@DrWhom 5 жыл бұрын
@@debbiehenri7170 There was more pollution back then and EU rules are designed to counter pollution.
@princessamaechi3885 5 жыл бұрын
I want to travel back to the 1990s to prevent having hydrocephalus in the first place, help my dad pick 4201 Scotland Dr in Grand Prairie TX, attend the same elementary school with William D. Cameron IV and Valerie Parra and to live closer to them in the same street, Then I want my little brother Emmanuel to be born on March 2008 and for him to be able to talk. I also want to confront any bully or pervert that gets in my way and to attend any school event including prom
@loripalmieri1205 5 жыл бұрын
I'd like to go so far forward I can't remember Trump 😕
@ForeverMe543 5 жыл бұрын
“Do you have a biblical view of justice?” Question coming from a scammer who was caught by authorities and who wants to stop the justice system from doing its job. So biblical.
@JasonW. 5 жыл бұрын
I believe that was taught in the story of Joseph from Gonorrhea
@ascent8487 5 жыл бұрын
I don’t really think that most of the GOP is religious. They claim to be because a large portion of their base is. They need something. They can’t very well state out loud that they are the party for the wealthy, and themselves and that they don’t give a rats ass about anything else.
@ForeverMe543 5 жыл бұрын
Andrew Newman for a sec I was about to ask how that’s a bad thing...then I realized you meant the rock version.
@edwingonzalez3703 5 жыл бұрын
@@JasonW. ,😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@javiervalenzuela8284 5 жыл бұрын
With a biblically huge dong
@YeeSoest 5 жыл бұрын
People didn't use to take these people seriously. Now they rule the nation. Incredible...
@ZoanBlade90 5 жыл бұрын
Think that was part of the problem?
@SB-yh2uk 5 жыл бұрын
Idiocracy! It's happening!! Like the movie!! Wow
@orrytownes2766 5 жыл бұрын
No, they dont. "Ruling" accurately means controlling which tends to suggest "well managed". Listen Yee.....No.
@coolhari2000 5 жыл бұрын
Our premier did say he knows the best people.
@orrytownes2766 5 жыл бұрын
@@coolhari2000 Large, powerful, tremendous!
@dschlicks 5 жыл бұрын
"Roid rage lima bean." That's an exceptionally good one.
@stephaniejames6672 5 жыл бұрын
If your "big foot" reaches the water at 12", just lay that thing across your thigh. Just an idea. A money saver.
@BoredInNW6 5 жыл бұрын
When Whitaker said "what I know is, as long as they have that [biblical] worldview, that they'll be a good judge", I immediately thought of creepy Christian judge Roy Moore...
@jhnjhn1938 5 жыл бұрын
A conman who's company was sentenced to pay back $26M to people he defrauded.
@davidhollenshead4892 5 жыл бұрын
A judge who could understand "What Would Jesus Do ???" would be a humane judge, however, that is not the kind of judge that Acting AG Whitaker would actually appoint when he talks about the Bible...
@hks2377 5 жыл бұрын
Eew! Alabama dodged a bullet with that one🤢
@nickbotic 5 жыл бұрын
@@hks2377 The really scary thing is how many people actually voted for him. He lost, to be sure, but not by as much as he should've. He should've gotten precisely 0% of the vote. That he got any more than that is too much, but how much he did get is sickening.
@luyawish 5 жыл бұрын
I am so disappointed Matt Whittaker was not called shaved baby Alex Jones
@kimberlys8422 5 жыл бұрын
LOL Good one Gabriele
@How-Do-I-Nezzy 5 жыл бұрын
I mean, there's still plenty of time for that
@senselocke 5 жыл бұрын
Well, he's actually tall and in shape... Like an Alex Jones' "Mr Hyde", only when he transforms he's less crazy.
@chardin3497 5 жыл бұрын
@@senselocke that awkward moment when believing in bigfoot and time machine sales makes you "less crazy"...also that awkward moment when the POTUS has actually been involved with Infowars...
@tubularap 5 жыл бұрын
Gabriele Dedinaite - Last time Stephen mentioned him he already had the ultimate description for Whitaker: "Baby who grew up and is not happy about it."
@lunaazule1899 5 жыл бұрын
Only a con man would hire another con man. People like people most like themselves.
@hkwhopper 5 жыл бұрын
Birds of a feather stick together
@ValirAmaril 5 жыл бұрын
Future generations won't believe this administration actually existed
@Zomby_Woof 5 жыл бұрын
Future generations will be picking lice off each other.
@rattias2217 5 жыл бұрын
Trump might be known as a fascist idiot.
@adashelton 5 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂Right!
@freetruths8810 5 жыл бұрын
WE WILL DELETE IT FROM HISTORY BOOKS LIKE AMERICAN INDIANS WERE DELETED WHEN I WAS A KID. #TURNABOUTFAIRPLAY
@Chunkboi 5 жыл бұрын
You’re assuming future generations will exist. 😋
@moukafaslouka4796 5 жыл бұрын
Colbert and his team are geniuses!
@NewMessage 5 жыл бұрын
Whitaker totally looks like that guy who is two seats over from you on the subway, arguing with a sleeping homeless guy about Bigfoot, Time travel, and the Illuminati. The homeless guy looks like Steve Bannon.
@citadelofwinds1564 5 жыл бұрын
Bannon looks like week-old road kill. Whitaker's appointment to the AG role merely smells like i t.
@Dao128 5 жыл бұрын
...are you sure the hobo just "looks" like Bannon?
@eliotno3 5 жыл бұрын
You people have obviously never ridden a subway in real life.
@J.M.-nb4gw 5 жыл бұрын
@@eliotno3 I will bet good money that we have, moron
@eliotno3 5 жыл бұрын
@@J.M.-nb4gw Actually my point was that wealthy white guys over 40 never ride subway in US cities but I made it wrong. As to your negativity, take it far, far away from Stephen's channel. He's all about comedy and leaves everyone laughing then you bust the mood... WTH is wrong w/you? 🤔
@noluthando6757 5 жыл бұрын
Stephen’s delivery is impeccable
@mgscarborough 5 жыл бұрын
It's getting to the point where comedy writers don't have to do anything except Google the day's news and then mention what happened. The jokes are writing themselves.
@spammyhell6566 5 жыл бұрын
+Guzeebo ~ You'd think so, but reading the news is depressing AF. It takes talent, and lots of it, to make all this soul-sucking dreck palatable & even funny. Granted, they have a lot of ready material to work with, but I'm confident (and have heard various comedians say) that it takes a ton of effort to come up w/funny.
@ZER0-- 5 жыл бұрын
You'd thinks so, but Trump and Co are a parody of themselves and as you say it almost writes itself. I could see the umbrella incident being a skit if Trump didn't actually do it himself. And the was an ad about Trumpy bear and I'm not sure if it was a real advert or a joke. Here's the advertisement, brace yourself. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/n5-hqZuDuNjJeYE.html
@Himexxdollxx21 5 жыл бұрын
Guzeebo It’s funny because it’s true, now more simply than ever
@hks2377 5 жыл бұрын
ZER0 Supposedly the bear ad really was aired on FOX, but I still suspect it was someone trolling Trump fans. It not only showed men carrying it, the product info said “Not for 12 & Under” 😳 How many adults, much less grown men, are buying stuffed animals for themselves??
@kinky_Z 5 жыл бұрын
The weed sure helps!
@DarthCruciare87 5 жыл бұрын
When Guile's Theme started playing, I lost my shit. Well done, Jon Batiste, that was incredible.
@AConquerorsVendetta 5 жыл бұрын
DarthCruciare87 wait when was that?
@Pepperona 5 жыл бұрын
@@AConquerorsVendetta 5:37
@williamfroh8830 5 жыл бұрын
I don't get that ?????
@BcroG11 5 жыл бұрын
I immediately had to go search for comments to confirm I didn't mishear it. That was certainly an unexpected pleasant surprise.
@Chiscringle 5 жыл бұрын
See, I thought it was the Dragon Ball theme song :D
@AnexoRialto 5 жыл бұрын
Trump university taught me that time travel and Bigfoot are totally legit business opportunities.
@Crayzeecatlady 5 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@niklaswassermann9971 5 жыл бұрын
Thing is, time travel is actually physically feasible. Its supported by the theories we currently work with, hell, wormholes can move you through time and are supported by the relativity theory - we dont have the means to create anything like that yet, but its very much within the realm of possibilities. To travel into the future, you could actually just build a space ship (or hyperloop kinda thing) that accelerates you near the speed of light; time slows down for you relative to how fast youre going, at the speed of light (which you cant reach) you would not experience any time passing at all - if youre close to the speed of light, you could travel in circles for any stretch of time you want, then slow down and enjoy being in the future. Pretty straight forward shit, just hope they have stable wormhole creating technology in the future, otherwise youre stuck there, and given the current advances in genetic manipulation (CRISPR and the likes), biotech and AI, you might just find yourself looking like a neanderthal if humanity didnt go extinct anyways , might not be the most enjoyable of experiences. Still, technically feasible and far from the bullshit its made out to be here.
@hitandsunk 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, Trump University taught that you will always find fools to make cash. Even in positions like acting AG. ;)
@anotherworldviewispossible 5 жыл бұрын
Niklas Wassermann Stephen demonstrated something like that in his bit... hold your breath for 10 seconds - now you've moved 10 seconds into the future. The speeds you're talking about are hard to achieve, too. The important point, is that the dude is a scammer.
@chaoticnerd1168 5 жыл бұрын
You're forgetting space force
@antybee5415 5 жыл бұрын
Putting the con in conservative
@thebusybee7080 5 жыл бұрын
Anty Bee: Hey are we related? I'm the Busy Bee and I can hardly wait for the Dems to start, and I can hardly wait for Mueller's report, and I can hardly wait for Florida and Georgia's final election results, and I can hardly wait for the Dems start squeezing racist Don to see his tax forms... Cheers
@Lucius1958 5 жыл бұрын
The ghost of Rube Goldberg salutes you. (see *"I'm the Guy"*)
@mr.j_krr_80 5 жыл бұрын
more like "Putin the con in conservative"
@mellymel6543 5 жыл бұрын
@@mr.j_krr_80 well played!!
@cryptospin2060 5 жыл бұрын
Whatever happened to the separation of church and state?!?
@richardgalvin1725 5 жыл бұрын
Ronald Regan.
@orrytownes2766 5 жыл бұрын
Apparently we seperarated them from Church-state? State-Church... Sturch?
@markrieck1048 5 жыл бұрын
Welcome to the next attack on your liberty. It's called religious liberty laws. Clever, huh?
@2spooky 5 жыл бұрын
here comes the Republic of Gilead : |
@orrytownes2766 5 жыл бұрын
@@2spooky Id rather have the actor who played the king in that show be the prez; American gods (odin), deadwood (sheriff) etc
@DerLaCroix1 5 жыл бұрын
I love how he takes the standard European toilet and marketed it as a masculine one...
@aussie_boosh 5 жыл бұрын
Haha, yeah. That is exactly what toilets in Australia look like as well.
@tobybartels8426 5 жыл бұрын
Are you saying Americans have feminine toilets?
@notthenukebros_9322 5 жыл бұрын
DerLaCroix1 are you telling the rest of the world is masculin compaired to us americans?
@DerLaCroix1 5 жыл бұрын
Only that the rest of the world does not use small bathtubs filled to the brim...😎
@notlikely4468 5 жыл бұрын
@@DerLaCroix1 Ok....just explain that little stage at the bottom....I mean...sure everybody looks....but why the presentation?
@Do_Odles 5 жыл бұрын
@5:38 Guiles theme! Rock on Jon!
@teeemm4594 5 жыл бұрын
He's not choosing a cabinet, he's casting a reality show.
@gregorywalpole8442 5 жыл бұрын
Watching this clip has caused KZfaq to start offering me related crackpot videos with titles like "Student Finds Hidden Devices in the College Library - Are they nefarious?", and "Time Traveler from Venus Says We Will Be A Type 2 Civilization by 2100" and "Is the President Secretly a Reptilian Impostor?" Well, okay, that last one might actually have something to it...
@biggihs 5 жыл бұрын
That's Street Fighter - Guile theme at 5:38 :) "All the streets!"
@saramuoz 5 жыл бұрын
Shout out to Jon Batiste for dropping the first few bars of the Guile theme at 5:38.
@mlghelp2day 5 жыл бұрын
That picture of SASQUATCH carrying Whitaker. Lol😅
@rehoby 5 жыл бұрын
i want to see him go through a confirmation hearing... would be a riot.
@arvelorichard 5 жыл бұрын
Time travel, big foot, and space force go together lol
@Ravensfolyfe 5 жыл бұрын
Ha ha ha u made my day.
@antybee5415 5 жыл бұрын
Time traveling bigfoot IS space force
@joeexotic2545 5 жыл бұрын
The Mooch , now this - where do they find these people ?!?!
@BabakoSen 5 жыл бұрын
Reality TV, where else?
@beckygilbert6377 5 жыл бұрын
Green slime that is overtaking Florida.
@joeexotic2545 5 жыл бұрын
Heeeeeey yoo @@beckygilbert6377
@Statsy10 5 жыл бұрын
One of his best monologues ever. Also, thank god someone finally made a toilet for me!
@ProctorsGamble 4 жыл бұрын
I also hate the cold water at the bottom
@mlghelp2day 5 жыл бұрын
When Stephen "traveled to the future" (at 4:14)then looked at his watch, I just lost it!😅 Busted out lol so hard that my neighbor heard as he was walking past my house. He laughed to. Showed him this video today and he lol too, and told me he also watches Stephen. My brother was also laughing as he called me today to tell me about Stephen's monologue last night. I said yeahhh....I watch it every night and see the videos in the morning too. Toooo funny!🤣😅
@danrion8839 5 жыл бұрын
A scam artist has biblical views towards Judges. Translation : If I scam someone then judges should forgive me like Jesus.
@williamedward1666 5 жыл бұрын
Wait a minute, Stephen is a Zelda fan? I know this shouldn't be a surprise, but I am just so damn happy about this.
@aureliabackup7313 5 жыл бұрын
William Edward Link is really just the Captain America of Hyrule
@kikic4899 5 жыл бұрын
Hearing that made me so happy
@thisisnancybot 5 жыл бұрын
I remember the band played Song of Storms once and it made my day
@MrFatboyRuns 5 жыл бұрын
That surprised me as well. He doesn't come across as a gamer!
@lnsflare1 5 жыл бұрын
@@thisisnancybot Yeah, when the Stormy Daniels story first broke.
@andreaspedersen3952 5 жыл бұрын
When Stephen prayed to God i was expecting a light and a sudden voice from above saying: "Please keep me out of it!"
@mlghelp2day 5 жыл бұрын
"This whole thing was just a clever plan to lure SASQUATCH out of the woods with a promise of a toilet that wud finally accomodate his SEQUOIA." Lol😅
@meizanmestech 5 жыл бұрын
Nobody wanna talk about how awesome it is that Colbert looking forward to a new Zelda game?
@ianmacfarlane1241 5 жыл бұрын
Don't watch this video on public transport unless you want people to wonder what the hell you're crying with laughter at.
@Caninecancersucksrocks 5 жыл бұрын
Ian Macfarlane 😂🤣😂 Too late!! Completely lost it around lima bean comment...and didn’t get it back until it was over. Now have all three of our dogs AND the hubby staring at me in deep concern. (Was wearing headphones)
@ianmacfarlane1241 5 жыл бұрын
@@Caninecancersucksrocks I feel your pain 😂. I with laughter while standing on a train platform, (wearing headphones). The opening monologues are always well written, but this one was too much - I had no idea where it was going next 😄.
@maejohl 5 жыл бұрын
@@titoqwentezproductionz3406 Yup!
@dacealksne 5 жыл бұрын
please seek help
@MethodicalMadness 5 жыл бұрын
This was you, wasn't it? 😉
@The8347135 5 жыл бұрын
Matt Whitaker looks like a gritty reboot of Humpty Dumpty
@steffanshurkin1123 5 жыл бұрын
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty did cross-fit and spoke with a gravelly voice whilst using his ultra-masculine toilet.
@marshwetland3808 5 жыл бұрын
But "roid rage lima bean" is funnier.
@AMcGrath82 5 жыл бұрын
Holy shit. Music at 5:38 is Guile's theme from Street Fighter. John even says so afterwards.
@eparigon 5 жыл бұрын
God bless
@jakarnilson 5 жыл бұрын
Once again, Guile's theme goes with everything... :P
@AMcGrath82 5 жыл бұрын
@@jakarnilson Hell yes.
@rofl_waffl 5 жыл бұрын
I'm glad someone else noticed lol
@pxlmoth 5 жыл бұрын
Guile's theme goes with all Streets
@leetraviusmckay314 5 жыл бұрын
"roid rage lima bean" 😂😂
@budani1473 5 жыл бұрын
colbert is the reason why I'm late to my meetings in thr morning.
@aperfectday736 5 жыл бұрын
Well that is a good excuse, lol!!
@tiki_trash 5 жыл бұрын
For me it's always the booze, to each his own.
@Andrew-yb1uv 5 жыл бұрын
AA ? Weight Watchers ? Both?
@Timbone07 5 жыл бұрын
There is something called Tivo or Save offline on KZfaq or something else you can use Not something to be proud off
@xeroterragoth1866 5 жыл бұрын
That video at the end was classic infowars-level GOP gold lol
@AnabethalightASMR 5 жыл бұрын
“...that would finally accommodate his mighty Sequoia!” 🤣
@sayakdas4159 5 жыл бұрын
So, is a conman going to be an AG?
@hayleypeltz7525 5 жыл бұрын
Well, we do have a conman as president...
@veronicaokomi8364 5 жыл бұрын
Absolutely.
@binnibr.8265 5 жыл бұрын
A Con Man is already President, so anything is possible in this new Con Land!
@elrey8876 5 жыл бұрын
Republican voters say... HELL YES!!!
@thangnguyen02 5 жыл бұрын
already has one as the Pres
@tcjusttc5418 5 жыл бұрын
I keep saying this: why can’t trump pick 1, just 1 person that isn’t marred in controversy
@UltaFlame 5 жыл бұрын
I mean, if he did, would we hear about it? Controversy is fun, exciting, it gets clicks.
@pamelacass9642 5 жыл бұрын
Who? Nobody that sane would want to be anywhere near this SS.
@michaelfarrell4824 5 жыл бұрын
He would have to first know someone of that description
@aimeephysique8133 5 жыл бұрын
Because people who wants to be hired by trump gotta do something that gets them into spotlight and the president's radar. :)
@zhouye2491 5 жыл бұрын
Those not frequently mentioned by late night shows, like Mattis, and about the half of the cabinet
@G1Transformed 5 жыл бұрын
Whittaker seems like a power lifting Homer Simpson. The things he’s done and the things he gets into is Homer-esque. Bigfoot, time travel, hot tubes with swings and a masculine toilet? Doh!
@Eastcoastdeals88 5 жыл бұрын
G1Transformed TRUE AND FUNNY !
@Richard-sy1ej 5 жыл бұрын
In Australia, "masculine toilets" already exist. They're called "toilets".
@debbiehenri7170 5 жыл бұрын
Same in Britain.
@geraldhaynesjr1815 5 жыл бұрын
Lol. Just love it. We poor Americans just let loose a crazy person onto the world. Bad enough he ran around here like a nut.
@jake_ 5 жыл бұрын
Stephen is on fire! Good to see him having fun again.
@leetraviusmckay314 5 жыл бұрын
Matt Whitaker graduated from Trump University 😂
@Matthew-bl2gz 5 жыл бұрын
Are you sure? I'm not sure if he's smart enough to even graduate from a fake university....
@patchr5491 5 жыл бұрын
Lol these comments are as fun as stephen
@viennnuah 5 жыл бұрын
LeeTravius Mckay love ur comments yes indeed
@martinnibataan7046 5 жыл бұрын
Having a BS from Trump U is a requirement to work in this white house
@psycologo121 5 жыл бұрын
Was waiting for a Hot Tube Time Machine joke. It was practically gift wrap.
@kathleendeshazer5157 5 жыл бұрын
Time Travel & Big Foot 🐾 That's credentials for working in Washington DC. LMAO 😉
@mimim7026 5 жыл бұрын
Is anyone sure we aren't just trapped in the longest episode of _Black Mirror_ ever?
@palsp666 5 жыл бұрын
😂
@TimeandMonotony 5 жыл бұрын
We are.
@Kaysaaay 5 жыл бұрын
I'm like 80% sure of this. But, I've also been binge watching BM for the past week
@palsp666 5 жыл бұрын
@@Kaysaaay which one is your favorite episode?
@jesterssketchbook 5 жыл бұрын
i like that one where the prime minister of england has to have sex with a Trump
@StevenPaul0717 5 жыл бұрын
Thank God for Stephen Colbert.
@jancovanderwesthuizen8070 5 жыл бұрын
Screw science, math and the Federal Trade Comission, what does Space Force think?
@finris1 5 жыл бұрын
They think that if they don't get all the funding for education, social security, and medicare, the Chinese will take over space before the Russians can?
@captainarcher2 5 жыл бұрын
LMAO !!
@orrytownes2766 5 жыл бұрын
It thinks its wifes' name is Melanie, sometimes.
@Zomby_Woof 5 жыл бұрын
Forget Space Force. Rumor is that Trump has reached out to *Space Ghost* as a Sarah Sanders replacement.
@niceguy2171 5 жыл бұрын
Well since Space Force is a dozen Bigfoot's time traveling on extra masculine toilets, think we should ask them!
@teslaNYproductions 5 жыл бұрын
technology powered by jesus. 😂This skit has to be one of the funniest skits of all time 👍
@palsp666 5 жыл бұрын
C'mon he only believes in Time travel and big foot. Donald Trump doesn't even believe in Global warming.
@MrJonsonville5 5 жыл бұрын
Donald trump doesn't believe in anything. He's a nihilist who adopts beliefs when they will benefit him politically and especially financially.
@TheSquidy184 5 жыл бұрын
Fun fact: Einstein's theories actually allow for time travel in a sense. We have had people(astronauts) travel fractions of a second towards in time. It only works traveling forwards in time though.
@cameleyez 5 жыл бұрын
@Real American yes so much DNA everywhere. Bigfoot, I seen one last summer. He was nice took a selfie but it was too blurry. So no one believes me. Sucks.
@Valdagast 5 жыл бұрын
@@TheSquidy184 there are solutions to Einstein 's equations that allow for time travel to your past. Google "closed time - like curves". I doubt Whitaker has read those papers.
@Benito264 5 жыл бұрын
@Real AmericanI hope you are joking.
@AnimagicMissile 5 жыл бұрын
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Stephen, let's not be hasty in bashing this time travel thing. I mean, if we can figure it out, we can go back to ANY time, right? Like, say... oh, I don't know... Election Day 2016...
@gngnome 5 жыл бұрын
Unless predeterminism is a thing & the attempt to go back to 2016 is what brought us to this warped timeline.
@chickensdone1 5 жыл бұрын
I am convinced Trump became President in 2016 because in our universe, Kyle Reese was unable to save John Connor from the Terminator.
@paddy1414 5 жыл бұрын
Hate to be THAT guy, but even if we could go back, we kinda cant change diddly shite :/ This is because of the butterfly effect and wibbily wobbely timey wimey :/
@AnimagicMissile 5 жыл бұрын
You're assuming someone would only change history to make the future better. Maybe some evil bastard went back to MAKE Trump win! O.O
@martiemc8398 5 жыл бұрын
And all the angry Bernie supporters who made of voted for Trump? Hillary not visiting important key States at all during her whole campaign? What was this woman thinking????
@Ashley-ku7is 5 жыл бұрын
"The Best People" LMAO
@HylianTicipated 5 жыл бұрын
5:38 Love when Batiste busts out the video game music!
@NewMessage 5 жыл бұрын
"I interviewed them on the same day... and either one of them would make a better AG than Whitaker." Bigfoot would make a better AG than Whitaker.. and he doesn't even exist. Well, in THIS timeline.
@tiki_trash 5 жыл бұрын
Step into a future timeline: Congress is back in session and Whitaker is as elusive as a Sasquatch, or at least as elusive as Kavanaugh. Too bad we don't have DNA evidence for Kavanaugh. The special toilet results came back negative due to insufficient samples.
@Auriflamme 5 жыл бұрын
Whitaker looks like a fully shaved bigfoot. Coincidence?
@anotherworldviewispossible 5 жыл бұрын
I've put on my "Darkest possible timeline" Goatee. More of a Van Dyke - really... but what did Abed know?
@purplespray3768 5 жыл бұрын
Wow! This is madness
@jjwalter1145 5 жыл бұрын
Alternatively for that toilet, a cheaper solution would be _the all new adjustable potty booster seat custom sized to keep you from dipping the dangle of your dingle._ *Pre-orders now available for **_only $19.95._* ordersmustbepostmarkedbymidnighttonightpleaseincludthelengthofyourlimpyallpurchasesfinalnotresponsibleforlostorstolendeliveries
@crovax1375 5 жыл бұрын
How dare you! A well-endowed, time traveling big foot saved my life on many occasions
@yeetskeet7234 5 жыл бұрын
People predisposed to believe in fairytales are easier to control.
@NeonsStyleHD 5 жыл бұрын
Matt Whittakers head looks an awful lot like a Minion out of Despicable Me. :)
@julietv4275 5 жыл бұрын
Put a wig on him and he looks like the Orange bastard child.
@klmhookedmoore5847 5 жыл бұрын
NeonsStyle - 😂😂😂😂
@boubacardiallo5641 5 жыл бұрын
How to save picture as gpj in coreldraw
@NeonsStyleHD 5 жыл бұрын
@First Name Last Name LOL Love original thinking.
@kathysmith6413 5 жыл бұрын
no they were cute and were basically kind. he may be a true minion of Drumpf but he is definitely an evangelical fundamentalist and then if you combine him with Pence boy do you have the makings of a fundamentalist christian theocracy
@ninjamelon3156 5 жыл бұрын
The toilet-wormhole madre my day
@malcolmmorris7367 5 жыл бұрын
Guile's theme? Legend of Zelda? On my Colbert? Awesome.
@sharonolsen6579 5 жыл бұрын
Laughed so hard my stomach hurts !! Thank you MR. COLBERT !!!!
@Green-Mountainboy 5 жыл бұрын
The fact they were able to raise 26 million dollars for time travel is almost unbelievable but then i think about how many people actually like Trump and its much easier to believe.
@MrEndstage 5 жыл бұрын
Or to go back in time to when trump wasn't president
@vandboeffel 5 жыл бұрын
Its actually a good investment. You can go forward in time and check the stock market and results of sports matches. You will be rich in no time. I have this from a reliable documentary called Back to the Future.
@drraghunath83 5 жыл бұрын
I hope Colbert’s team uploads all those pics/memes under Creative Commons license. Genius stuff those
@BadReligion9 5 жыл бұрын
America, you never cease to amaze me.
@adrianvenegas8577 5 жыл бұрын
5:38 Did John Baptiste just played Guile's theme? ...well, I guess it really goes with everything! :P :P :P
@Jugivadi 5 жыл бұрын
Butter Bean Whitaker.
@liteazwell1913 5 жыл бұрын
Ted cox Zactly! 'cept less articulate.
@shadechamber566 5 жыл бұрын
We're all living in a Monty Python movie.
@rtnightmare 5 жыл бұрын
John’s face as he says ‘wow’ is great. 😂
@KingofHearts 5 жыл бұрын
How does a man like this get such a prestigious position? Do they not do background checks before allowing someone to work in somewhere so important?
@TheBlarggle 5 жыл бұрын
@@SuperXrunner You're allowed to swear on the internet.
@citadelofwinds1564 5 жыл бұрын
The only criterion in the Trump regime is utter devoted loyalty to Dear Leader. Trump will throw anyone under the bus, as proven with Sessions, his very first devoted fan. It's getting increasingly crowded under there, and will get more so over the coming weeks. As for Don Jr and Eric, they have the privilege of riding on the bus bumpers, and acting as human shields for Trump.
@Painfully_Punny 5 жыл бұрын
Not sure if your taking about Whitaker or Trump or as I'm calling the new power couple Whitrump but either way apparently not.
@marysharkey1503 5 жыл бұрын
How does s man like this get such a prestigious position? The same way Cheetolini did. Pandering to the brainwashed right wing citizens who've been listening to hate right radio and faux news for years on end.
@markgreen4612 5 жыл бұрын
Most Trumpanzees are Flat Earthers so bigfoot and time travel isn't really much of a stretch for them. Oh, and the only background check necessary for Trump is an answer of "Yes!" to the question, "Do you believe that the Mueller investigation is a Witch Hunt?"
@Painfully_Punny 5 жыл бұрын
Classic inventor mistake of inventing something that negates the need for another of your products, because i have to imagine the shrinkage from the snow balls will make the toilet obsolete.
@SpukiTheLoveKitten75 5 жыл бұрын
Be sure to void your bladder before you watch this; You'll DIE FROM LAUGHING! This is the funniest thing I've watched in a long time!
@fernandachristensengama5245 5 жыл бұрын
Great! Laugh so much. Had to watch 3 times just to get all the nuances! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Renjie_K 5 жыл бұрын
Faith and biblical views... So hes going to discriminate against people who have different beliefs what a mess
@the_bottomfragger 5 жыл бұрын
Hardly anything creeps me out more than the still ongoing intolernace towards other religions and atheism, it seems to be so widespread and it's one of the most hypocritical excuses of all time.
@jamedraa8472 5 жыл бұрын
I hope the judge who hears his case has a biblical view of justice.
@tiki_trash 5 жыл бұрын
When he says "Christians" he means Republicans.
@michaelbray109 5 жыл бұрын
“Judges” was Old Testament wasn’t it?
@gz9975 5 жыл бұрын
Christians are simply hateful people. The only reason Republicans keep winning elections is because the majority of this country is Christian, and over 84 percent of Christians continue to support Trump to this day. As long as a candidate promises to oppress minorities, they will easily get the Christian vote.
@consoleking9670 5 жыл бұрын
“How can you joke about the trump administration” they said... “It’s all so depressing” they said...
@ifartmagic 5 жыл бұрын
We laugh to keep from crying.
@hutte1751 5 жыл бұрын
@@ifartmagic “I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying." - Prince Kheldar of Drasnia : )
@lentrozenol1037 5 жыл бұрын
Nathan Frantz who says this?
@martinnibataan7046 5 жыл бұрын
@@lentrozenol1037 many people say this.....
@gabrielvega9194 5 жыл бұрын
Well of course we can laught at it, it doesnt mean that its no drepressing
@sana8sana 5 жыл бұрын
You are on FIRE!! One of your best Stephen. Thank you
@vazak11 5 жыл бұрын
Great coverage!
@danevans6966 5 жыл бұрын
Isn’t that just a European toilet?!
@Lewa500 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the compliment.
@VietNguyen-nc9jq 5 жыл бұрын
bigfoot for 2020
@tammytruthout8465 5 жыл бұрын
@Susan Nilsen, don't say that...I didn't think we could do worse than W.
@Lobishomem 5 жыл бұрын
Viet Nguyen The 2020 campaign has it’s new slogan: Big Foot supports Little Hands.
@outlander3000 5 жыл бұрын
Love the guy laughing after the cat in the bag bit 8:23.
@DodgeThis 5 жыл бұрын
This guy is a genius.
@TheLazyLazer 5 жыл бұрын
5:37 "and street fighter 2, all the streets"
@blackday1013 5 жыл бұрын
Bigfoot traveling through time on a toilet time machine. Quick, someone grab the director of hot tub time machine and stop him before he gets any ideas
@pamelacass9642 5 жыл бұрын
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆!
@TheAirpirate28 5 жыл бұрын
I have not laughed this much lately, what a great and funny monologue :D:D:DD
@AndinoKiwi 5 жыл бұрын
This is probably one of the best monologues by Colbert ever.
@lovinglydull 5 жыл бұрын
Matt Whitaker looks like a discount Kingpin. Except Kingpin has some degree of integrity.
@TheRogueWolf 5 жыл бұрын
And remember, Whitaker personally wrote a letter to an investor, trying to intimidate him out of going to the Better Business Bureau. Trump likes that kind of "aggressive posture".
@sabincotfas 5 жыл бұрын
This is such a beautiful piece of investigative journalism! Jon Stewart, some of us still hear your voice behind these jokes. We know it's you because they still make us laugh the loudest. You have a gift, my friend! By the way, dead giveaway - the use of one of your favorite words ever.... "douchebag". You always made life just a little bit better with your work, we miss you and love you lots Jon!!!!!!
@HermesSonofZeus 5 жыл бұрын
That bit at the end was brilliant
@se7en857 5 жыл бұрын
I like that they played street fighter 2, Ken scene
@crusaderfb8351 5 жыл бұрын
He looks less like an attorney general, and more like a two-bit thug in a movie. The one that the police will find hanging upside down from a building after the hero gets through with him
@CanItAlready 5 жыл бұрын
Crusaderf B He IS a two-bit thug. He threatened people his company had defrauded to try and keep them quiet. Thankfully that didn't work.
@saultube44 5 жыл бұрын
LOL@7:14 "Lure Sasquatch out of the woods with the promise of a toilet that can finally accommodate his Mighty Sequoya"
@natvasch6399 5 жыл бұрын
This was a great segment.
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