Im on tour! Come see me! www.matteolanecomedy.com/tour-dates Follow me on all socials! linktr.ee/MatteoLane

I would of gladly watched 40 minutes of Mateo roasting this mall. Can this be a series please?

“This aquarium sucks” “It’s nice to hear kids enjoy themselves like they don’t hate life yet” Proceeds to enjoy himself immensely like a child

Alternate Title: Matteo searches for a Cinnabon at the Mall of America while being moderately disappointed

I love the energy of going from, "Ugh, this aquarium is lame" and immediately into, "OMG a SHARK!!!" Great content... agree with others, please make a series of rating mundane places that anyone can go to... no more of these adventure travel series!

As a european, i'm just impressed they have a whole ass theme park inside the mall. Yes, we do have malls as well, but i've never seen anything like this before. This is WILD (bob the drag queen voice)

The mall dad impression was the most accurate thing I've ever seen. It was also eerie how all of your gayness (and that's a s*** ton of gayness, let's be real) just vanished. I don't know if it was the dad part or the expression of a complete loss of all will to live.

"A shark!" points to a sturgeon :/ "I found a boyfriend!" points to a female shark. "It's hard to hug him, he's so square." - my boyfriend

As a white girl with black dyed hair who loves nightmare before Christmas and also shops at hot topic all the time.... You're not wrong.

As a resident of Minneapolis, "Cinnebon, H&M, PacSun, Diarrhea" is pretty much the proper way to refer to the Mall of America. The fact they had mini-golf in there for a while was kind of a mindf#ck.

''what colours do you want me to use?.... Paris!" that's funny af😂

Mateo please please please for the love of God, do more of this content. Like I get your busy and all, but you’re saving lives. My life specifically.

How can this guy be so funny just describing a mall lol

I love how he's just was like "Where's a Cinnabon? Every mall has a Cinnabon." like it's imperative that he finds one and then once he does he's like "There's a Cinnabon" in the most bored voice possible.

being a minnesotan and as a young gay boy stormed the mall the day it opened, im like "Bitch, the damn cinnabun is on the first floor"

how does Nick still have the best punchline in a video he's not even in. You lanky legend.

“It’s kinda cute hearing kids have a good time like they still enjoy life” I laughed so hard but it’s so true lol

Matteo is The Lady Gaga of men... He is Italian from New York and he won't stop telling everybody... Love him!

Matteo trying to be cynical but legit in awe of the sharks was so wholesome

Us gay guys are so for the moment. The only excitement we find in a mall is crayons.

That mall used to have a Bloomingdales, but Bloomingdales never updated it after it was built like a maze in the 80s, so it closed in 2012, when I worked there. Our managers gave us all as many hours as we wanted during the close, so towards the end we'd be like 12 people in an area, rather overstaffed. Best day was when half a dozen of us went to Buffalo Wild Wings and got drunk. I will never set foot in another one because there will never be a better experience than getting drunk with your retail coworkers on the clock.

Holy crap, now I want to go to the Mall of America, and I'm not an indoor-mall person and I live in New Jersey. An aquarium? Park rides? Rainforest Café? You could take a mild hallucinogen and stay there all day, probably burn like a bajillion calories just walking around gawking at everything.

1:15 "Okay, so they got a Caribou Coffee, but at Mall of America, we gotta a better coffee place than this, right!"--It must take some giant balls to walk around the biggest mall in Minnesota and roast the local coffee chain. Hahahahaha

This needs to be viral! Somebody show this to your teen daughter and get this shit going! I need this to be a reoccurring series

Okay how the hell has Matteo Lane been running a main quest life?? He's done opera, he was a storyboard artist, and now he's a stand-up? How has he been doing so much art professional?

As a Minnesotan, my man's sleepin on Caribou Coffee. Starbucks my ass

This should be a ‘Mateo Lane & Kathy Griffin roast middle America’ regular series on Netflix. Pitch it already!

The fish aren't even doing anything they are bored out of there minds "just like the employees" 😂

I love how the aquarium, as basic as it is, was still beautiful that it melted your cynicism away at the end :)

This was giving me Coco Peru at Walmart vibes. This botttthers me.

Bless you for giving me some much needed serotonin after arguably, the worst depressive episode of my life. You are a gift, good sir. FANTASTICO! TI VOGLIO BENE!

OMG you just $hit on that entire mall lol 😂💀. From now on, we’re sending you to national parks. I think maybe you’d feel better in the wild with foxes wolves and the occasional bear. You’re the best M.

"Look at this shark" and shows a sturgeon, lol...this was fun to watch 😂

I absolutely love this dude. Fellow Midwesterner here and I grew up loving both Hot Topic and Pacsun 🤣 And I think I could watch Matteo read War and Peace and love every second of it lol. ❤️😍🤣

“Look at this shark!” [points at a Sturgeon]

Matteo is filling a Coco Peru-sized hole in my life that has been there since her last shopping video over 3 years ago! 😍 Thank you Matteo! Come back any time to fill any hole you like 😂

I love how every ounce of cynicism disappeared the second he saw a turtle and it went from fuck this restaurant to the magic and whimsy of our aquatic brethren.

“It’s nice to hear kids having fun, like they still love life”.

Was so underwhelmed when he found Cinnabon 🤣😅

I feel so vindicated on my pronunciation of crayon (5:55). I am from Detroit and pronounce crayon as kran. I have been ROASTED my entire life for this pronunciation and no one ever believes me when I say it is a regional pronunciation!

5:55 "We're not in France" ... Too funny!

I don't know why, but that interaction with spongebob had me rolling. Absolutely hilarious

Laughed so loud and then sent it to all the friends I used to hang out with at the mall. So spot on

While I was working there a few years ago, we found mice in our restaurant’s neon sign and throughout the employee back hallways, birds frequently got in somehow and would fly around the mall and the glass ceiling of the theme park, a young boy was thrown from a balcony by a crazy man, we locked down due to terroristic threats and were verbally abused by tourists almost daily. MOA is like Times Square for Twin Citians - we don’t go there unless we have to/are showing it to out of towners. Although I must say, I love bar hopping at the MOA and riding the rides after dark!

"It's kind of cute to hear kids having a good time, like they still love life." Ah yes, those halcyon days before entering the hellish landscape of the American educational system, when fish were fish and not pelagic organisms adapted to their unique biomes that are regular victims of our destructive fishing and tourism industries. Matteo should make a children's book for adults "Untuck It!" XD

*THIS NEEDS TO BE A SERIES* 😭🙌

Wow. All those descriptions of businesses are 100% accurate. Thank you, sir.

“There’s a lotta kids which makes me want to run far away”…. I died!!! No truer statement. You are so dang funny! I ran upon one of your video and I was sold. You had me at “Paris. That’s a city” the art person inside me snickered and then I shared you with my daughter. We love you! (You should come and roast Utah! We even have a stand up place. You would sell out! (My daughter and I have first dibs on tickets)

This is definitely my kind of travel show! haha.

6:52 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Seriously I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit after.

'UntuckIt', 'I wonder how big he is...', 'He's so square'.... Matteo you never fail to be yourself...and keep at it. BTW Crayola...that is a long 'o' sound... Thank you for showing us the Mall of America. It's interesting...even without Cinnabon

"What is the ocean?" Had me dieing 🤣

Is there anything you can’t do. Opera singer, storyboard artist and FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!

70% of this video: Mall of America sucks the other 30%: LOOK SHARKS!!!

My brother is straight and has a gf, but just within the last couple of months or so he’s started to wear some shorter shorts b/c it’s trendy. As his sister, this makes me uncomfortable. But if Matteo is proud of him, I’m proud of him 😅

I'm so sad that you were in Minnesota 6 weeks ago and I only realized how hilarious you are like 3 weeks ago!!! Damn my slow response time! I hope you're coming back again soon. And, trust me, Minnesotans know that the MOA is just a really big mall.

I want you to have your own travel show!!!

Matteo as a new sub I love your comedy. These types of Malls do nothing for me except make my feet sore.

This was fun to watch! You`re so funny Matteo!

So much good dishing, yet accurate descriptions! Very funny stuff!

Mateo admiring sharks made my heart grow three sizes 🥺

Loved how the undersea tunnel eventually won over Matteo. He was a joyful kid in wonder over sharks and saw fish. 😯

Love it! Can’t wait for the next mall episode(s)! Thanks Mateo.

This could easily be a weekly series hahaha :-)

“I’m sure it’s not his birth name.”

I'm crying. So funny listening to all the dead on roasts of everything in the mall. My daughter couldn't even go into a Rainforest Cafe. The talking tree freaked her out. So good!!!🤣😂🤣✌️

Yeah, this was beyond hysterical. I went to the Mall when I was at a conference in Minneapolis, because, you're in Minneapolis and aside from Mary Tyler Moore tossing her beret in the air, what else is there to see? Of course, I have always hated the mall scene, working retail in college, so the more that get roasted the better. Anyway, great job and enjoyed the tour. For the record, I'm not crazy about Caribou, but I have had worse.

Hahaha Matteo roasting my childhood hangout...priceless!

"That butterfly is basically a cousin to the rat at chuck e cheese"😂 Great video!🎉

Kids having a good time cause they still love life💀

If I was a spongebob mall person, I would totally ask everyone to (awkwardly) hug me 😅

The Poison Ivy Part Killed me hahahaha 🙏🏾🤣👌🏾 so on point

Matteo, this is the crassness that materialism has become. They don't even try to hide it anymore. Thanks for the fun tour of which you were the highlight. Cheers, mate!

I love Matteo. I would laugh all day. It just comes out naturally and as funny as ever.

We need matteo to roast every major cities mall pls

I am obsessed! Do more of these please!

I love how time in the aquarium tunnel shifts from snark to ernest wonder :)

There is a cinnabon on the 1st floor on the northeast corner. Geez

Thank you for roasting my mall, I worked as a janitor at the theme park in high school, so I'm sure you can imagine all the pleasant memories I have of that place. I probably cleaned up a pile of puke by that TMNT ride. Anyways, love your comedy!

This was so much fun, Mateo - made me want to go there for some reason! And Iloved when you did the "angry dad" statue there was a "Celebrate Dad!" sign right over your shoulder. Perfect timing. :)

OMG those commercials..."Mom, guess which hand had the newest in disposable douche!"

This was hilarious!! I enjoyed every second haha

"It's kind of cute to hear kids having a good time, like they still love life." Hell yeah, if that isn't the truth....

I genuinely love the Rainforest Cafe. I have an obsession with jungles/tropical rainforests. The one huge complaint I have with the restaurant chain is that they don't play stereotypical jungle music through the speakers. You know, tribal music with hand drums and flutes that you'd expect to hear in a movie set in a jungle. I love music like that so I have a huge playlist filled with every song I like that fits the vibe. I wish they'd just play that playlist.

I'm glad we got closure on the Cinabon question by the end.

i like how this video is 9 minutes long and a solid three minutes on the aquarium

I'm so mad you made it to my state and I missed you, btw A+ on the roasting of MOA. I would've gay gasped if I saw you (i wouldn't have cause no minnesotan ever goes to MOA) . Good luck on tour!

I'm a native Chicagoan, and I am addicted to you, Matteo! You are absolutely brilliant, and your humor is priceless! After watching this video, I kept thinking that you remind me of someone, but I couldn't think of who. In bed at 3:00 AM, it hit me! You remind me of Jeffree Star without the wigs! Security!!! LOL!!!

A collab with Miss Coco Peru please! I think you both would hit it off with endless chuckles and disgust at everything encountered in equal measures. “The Misanthropic Misadventures of Miss Coco and Mateo.” I hear an Emmy award series in the making…

The snark….the cynicism…..hilarious!

Lol love it it’s giving me Coco Peru

Always enjoyed your honesty about EVERYTHING! SO CUTE TOO

Matteo looks like a discount version of a Comic Book rendition of Robert Downey Jr's Tony Stark

" That butterfly is a brother of one of the rats that work at Chuck E. Cheese " LMAO

Minnesota holds not just the mall of America. We also have the first mall ever AND the first strip mall ever. Hilarious stuff... just wanted to drop a little Minnesota history in there.

Mateo you are really witty funny 🤣 and talented. Your one liners just flow from your mouth naturally. I would watch your show.

Give Matteo a Netflix special asap!!

Love it Matteo! This was cute and funny! Do it again sometime. :) 🥰😘😘

Matteo would be the ultimate travel buddy. Anything is boring or underwhelming he just breaks into song and turns your life into a sarcastic musical 👌🤌🤌🤌

As someone not from america and has never been there and lives in a country that doesnt really have malls like this at all (at least not this size of with this many options of store) id go into every store and be like 'what is all this crazy shit?!'