Our stories are similar I think... When I was 4 years old my mother blamed the breakup of her and my father on me, and she even encouraged my older brothers in beating me up. She also would not let me have friends... if she found out I talked to someone in school I got a lashing, like literal lashing. So this is when my major chronic depression, hallucinations of people making fun of me, and self harm started. I was just diagnosed about 3 weeks ago with borderline, aged 21. I always lied to the Drs prior because I didn't want them to think I was stupid.These videos have helped A LOT.

thank you for being so brave and giving us hope that we can sort out the mess in our heads!

I feel very fortunate that I found your videos. I suffer as you do. Not just with an inferiority complex, but other videos you have made I can totally relate to. I really appreciate you making these videos. I know it's probably hard. I'm "being brave" just by leaving this comment, so I can only imagine the courage it took to actually go on camera in front anyone and everyone who clicks on your link. Every time I watch your videos I give you a mental standing round of applause! Maybe that sounds corny but it's true. Good job and keep it up! You are helping me and countless others I'm sure!

It is always the kindest of people who go through the most hardships. I don't understand why it is this way, but I feel for what you were going through. I've overcome most of my inferiority complex but I'm still dealing with social anxiety and it is a burden.

I like that you touch on this subject ,I thought it was only my experience alongside my bpd .

Thank you very much.It made me feel better to know I am not the only one struggling with this. Most of what you said on the video sounds familiar.It came to a point that I have completely isolated my self from everything. Cant even work. I feel panic when I think I have to find a job soon a talk to people. Feel like I am liying to everyone, and sometime , everybody will realize I am not a teacher, not a good person, have nothing to offer...They will find out my short comings. ..its so painful

I love you, you're so fucking brave for putting yourself out there in your most vulnerable state. I hate being surrounded phony people who don't share their innermost fragile and so I isolate myself also to avoid hurting those I love. You're right we shouldn't deal with everything on our own. We should seek help, talk to friend etc. Also talking to yourself and writing to yourself is therapeutic as well. Infinite love.

@AtarasBlog love your comment! " i dont really know how people want me to act, and also it doesn't matter because in the end i want to be with people that like me for who i really am. " That sounds so powerful!!!

Oh my god, thank you for posting this. i need you and others who will help me understand what is happening to me right now. i am totally isolated and suffering from anxiety disorders, bpd, etc. i am horrifically traumatized from early youth and appreciate the honest open information and encouragement to share. i feel like there is hope because i saw this post thank you

You are absolutely right also on trying to be yourself. Become one in a million, instead of one of a million. All children should be encouraged to do that. Each person needs to find that special something that make them unique. That uniqueness is the inner candle light that will accompany you till your last breath on earth, and it will help you weather through toughest storms.

@someoneinthekitchen Hello Gregory, I am happy that this video was helpful! And thank you for your comment. Unfortunately I have to delete it because it has your emailadress and full name for the whole world to see and I don't think that is what you want. Safety first on the internet. I hope you are doing ok Gregory. Take care. Greets, Bas

Watching videos is such an immense help, I cannot even properly describe how much. I even watch some videos again to remind myself of important key things. I'm in a relationship that has derailed me at one time and I'm working to gain ground again. I allow people (I give them this power), to trip me up and keep me from loving myself. I must stop doing this! I crave love so much as a BPD. I need to go into therapy again too. I'm rambling but anyway, I am so happy you uploaded a new video!

Im a parent too, I think we can't avoid some things. The best we can do is keep the communication lines open and honest and say to your children. We wern't parents before we had you, so we were learning, we made some mistakes and are very sorry if those still have effects on you. We love you with all our hearts and wouldn't change you for anything and we want you to know we love you unconditionally and just want you to be happy in life and make great choices for yourself. Then hug them, live it.

You made me shed a tear, I truly relate to your experience. Especially closing yourself off from everyone, developing major social anxiety, and personality disorder. As well as having dyslexia growing up. My inferiority complex has been destroying my life, you end up keeping yourself in shackles, with no freedom to be yourself, and express. Currently been in existential therapy, which has helped me a lot, making me clearer about where it developed from. Thank you for the video, and the courage to share your story. Makes one feel less alone, Appreciate .

I am 65 years old (a young 65 I may add) and I have dealt with having an Inferiority Complex all of my life. I think what you are doing for others through KZfaq is simply fantastic! I hope to hear more from you in the future. I don't know when you posted this video, but is there another one after this one where you had thrown away your tools in the group? You are very knowledgeable. Your are spot on my friend. God Bless

What you described has happened to me in exactly the same way. From emotional neglect to inferiority complex, followed by being the best at everything. I really hope we get better some day.

Thanks also for bringing up so many real manifestations. I hope this helps to dissipate the stereotype of people with inferiority complex as always only victims. All the famous and brutal dictators in the world commit atrocities to compensate for their inferiority complex. The true danger of inferiority complex is in its destructive power not only against oneself, but against others. The Great Leap Forward in China killed ~30 million people through starvation. That's the destructive power.

The effort and honesty that you put into these videos is amazing thank you for sharing.

Thank you for making this video. I've run up against my protectionist wall and I've had to confront myself directly. This video helped me to just be confident and true about my inferiority complex and to begin to ask some of the hard questions in order to overcome it.

everything you talk about is what I have been trying to figure out for so many months now. your videos really help me understand more...i really really appreciate it..don't give up

You're amazing! Thank you so much! I understand so many things that have and are happening to me during all my life! Excellent job! please continue educating me... Thanks from mexico!

You're a genius! I find in you many things I can recognize...excellent work!

i just want to say thankyou from the bottom of my heart for this video, i see myself so much in you and it really gave me more hope that i knew existed, thanks so much and good luck!

I admire you. Thank you for sharing your ideas and your story!

i subscribed, i got goosebumps because i am going through this right now, and it feels sooo good to know that im not alone, it feels like im going through so much. im almost crying right now, thank you so much.

You are amazing. I relate to you so much. I so glad to you that you are travelling in the RIGHT path and you KNOW what you want in life. Childhood trauma is very hard to deal with.. its just that you cant go back to childhood to protect yourself, nor you want that life again but you are remembered each and every day of everything you underwent.. the deepest pain. so true that .. the lack of love has resulted in giving too much love to everyone and 'expecting the same in return'

Very helpful information Bas. I really appreciate you sharing your childhood story. It helped me a lot in getting a better picture of how the inferiority complex may develop in a child and how it will affect his/her life experiences. I'm a psychology major in US and I'm becoming obsessed with your videos. They are giving me a great insight into BPD. I won't be able to use the info for myself because I don't suffer from BPD, but I will definitely use them in my feature to help others. :)

Thank you so much and your video really helps me to review myself and to overcome my shitty past. Thank you!

This video stabbed my heart... in the sense that I know I've been carrying this all my life. It's good to know I'm not alone. Can't relate it well to my family and friends. So this is a great help. *sniff sniff*

Thank you for this video. it's helping me understand someone I love very much.

I just made a post about some similar stuff and embeded your video without really watching it. Now I got to part two and checking your other stuff. Good good material. Thanks for sharing.

thank you brother for this video. i have suffered from an jnferiority complex for many years now which has gotten particularly worse in the past two months. i have tried so many ways to avoid dealing with it but cant stand it anymore.. what youve shared is so helpful and i greatly appreciate it

@Mr1upguy I will keep making videos :) Thanks for your comment!

i can relate to your story so much we cannot move forward if we cannot learn to live with other people in the right way, it may not be good or bad but at the end of the day life is short and we need to enjoy our time here the right way... im 23 years old and i relate to everything you said, right now have extreme social anxiety and im on remeron for anxiety and sleeping problems, i went through addiction of hard drugs and im clean now but now its harder then ever because im facing my problems.

@BlueSheep20 Hi, Thanks for your comment(s)! That must have been hard to deal with a mother with an inferiority complex. I hope you are doing ok with your social anxiety. greets, bas

Hmm, you'er clips really seem to be helping people and they make me happy too *^^* ! Going to look at the control extreme emotions when ever I'm having a bpd meltdown and see if it helps during a "freak out moment". Well, anyway I'm happy that I have stumbled upon your videos. Keep up the good work!

@A9Kam Hey nick, thanx mate. I can totally feel you about the perfectionism and overcompensation!

At 12, I was diagnosed with a visual disability that left me legally blind (I'm low vision, can't drive a car, etc.)... I have all the symptoms of ic, but the one that hurts me the most is procrastination. I just can't bring myself to do simple tasks. This hurt my school performance, and I barely made it through college. Now, at 34, I can't get into grad school. I hope you fare better than I have. I've attempted suicide, battled alcoholism, and I don't think I'll ever beat this.

I respect u man super really u speaking from ur bottom of heart no fake at all salute u man

I have an IQ of 147 and have not had an inferiority problems since leaving my first step father in 1969. I have been very bright all my life. And he made my life a living hell. My Mother became a raging alcoholic and I think she had a mental illness. Those things weren't talked about back in the early 70's. Today I am much healthier. I do not drink alcohol or smoke. I am living proof that a person with BPD can get better with the right tools and medications.

i commend you for your courage and speaking out loud about your problem regardless of the surrounding environment ' as it goes you are the best one who know about his own problems therefore never let others assess you in a negative way since they don't share your situation as it is well known the world around us is full of mad psycho peaple outthere whos sole object is to make you feel bad or they seek to destroy you as person thak you for the encouragement brother .

I also found out that I had an anxiety disorder and i try to solve myself with the internet at my side. I refuse to go to a psychiatrist and confession are really hard to spill out to parents. Although, I do wish to stop this overobsessing of myself and I deffinetely wish to see more of your videos. It completely moved to do these two comments (lol) Hopefully, I'm not the only one. THANK-YOU for telling your story, I finally know what is a part of me!

Thank you so much... your words are so helpful.

Hello I am so happy I found you and your videos. I struggle everyday, and just recently discovered this diagnosis and am continually amazed at just how accurately the symptoms align with what I've been feeling and thinking my whole life! I have tried to look into therapy but I am a single mother and can't afford the high prices. So I am attempting to take my PD on myself with workbooks and professional advice and understanding from folks like you who make this information so accessible to us. Thank you for sharing your experience and research. Absolutely nothing compares to someone who actually feels the same feeling and struggles the same way you do, to help us through this illness. Thank u your help means more than I can tell u

Amazing video. Very positive and have good guts to break the complex. Good luck

I just wish that all the people sufferimg from a inferiority complex, social anxiety, severe shyness, avoidance disorder, anorexia, bulimia, neurosis, and all those bullshit, limiting paterns of thinking could come together knowing we all ahd one or more of these and we would become a coterie of great friends, offering ourselves all kinds of support and what ever it was we could do for each other to becime better functioning people in society. It's an ideal, I know !

I have only found it now and i can relate about half the things but fortunately anger issue is not prominent and alcoholics is RARELY if never consumed in the household as far as concern, i am glad i watched your video.

Yes, I think low self esteem can definitely be part of what is causing a inferiority complex..Thank you so much for the 5 starts for throwing away my tools!! :D Please let me know how your list is working out.. if you want to of course :)

Things well get better, in a balanced sort of way. I always feel that something's wrong with me, and I don't even have my family and friends' support to help me out with it, and I can't bring myself to tell anyone I'm truly close to. The key is you. The most important, I find, is being honest with yourself and with others. Find what's good about you and promote those things about you. :-)

hey i thiink i relate to sooo much you said. sometimes i also try to do exactly what people want me to do. like i dress how they want me to dress and act the way they want me to act. one thing my theripst told me was that i dont really know how people want me to act, and also it doesnt matter because in the end i want to be with people that like me for who i really am. i am really working on this and feeling much better. i will make a response video soon :) you are really beautiful and awsome

@chedie I'm glad it was a bit helpful. Wish you all the best.

Thanks for the vid, Ive been dealing with this for years now and it's reached a boiling point recently. I've been so insecure, during the day at the office my behavior is inconsistent and is based on what i believe about myself. Then at night i have these panic attacks where all of the days behaviors come flooding in and my automatic response to them is "that was so stupid. Im such an idiot" and it turns into this heavy dark realm of self loathing usually followed by drinking.

Gave me some hope...it helps to know that I'm not alone...thank you...

@yukkurin Thanks for your comment. You don't give up either! All the best!

Omg I noticed a lot of similarities with our lives. My dad also was a tea her with a lot of anger issues who took it out on me and my singlings, physically, emotionally and verbally. I got a lot of neglect as a child. My mother, for a long time, let him do all of this to us. She sat as a doormat for his actions and, although she has taken several stands against it, still hasn't seen that she taught me to accept the emotional abuse from others when she accepted it for herself. I have been sympathetic with them, although it's hitting me now that I have an inferiority complex. I've formed the image of an intelligent, wise woman who is destined for greatness. While I do believe I am all of those things, I have yet to do it for me and not just for the recognition. I have to constantly hear how much people feel for me in order to feel secure, and a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm in need of constant emotional support. I am ready to be emotionally strong.

Six years before and this still being so useful. Thanks for this and all your videos. I'm feeling like doing a video response, but I know that by the next hour I will decline the idea 😓.

this sound so much like me. this video is really helping me. your first relationship sounds exactly like my first serious relationship. wow.

Wow! This is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing! Greetz from Belgium!

You speak well, and good I enjoy your insights!

I truly admire you for doing this. You really inspire me. I'd love to have coffee with you in person, but I settle for the videos. :)

Really an inspiring video!! Thank you so much:)

@lyttav :D Thank you so much for this comment! It really means a lot to me.

Hey, I think you are brave. The solution is focusing on what u want in life, being good at it and making an effort. You may fail but the journey is what its all about. Gud luck.

you just narrated my life!

very very helpful thanks a lot man!!! muchas gracias de verdad!!!!!

@Popsicleculture thank you Helen.

I can relate to everything you said. thank you.

Relate alot! Thanks for sharing

@SashaKuroi Thank you for your interesting comment! Greets, Bas

My parents have always been like "why are u not like this? why cant u do this?" My mother always used to call other girls ugly who had the same complexion like mine or looked average like me. Even being a good student, a good singer and a good kid so far, I was never enough for my parents! They never praised me! So i started trying to be "The perfect" at everything,I started to exaggerate my achievements to them just to make them proud if me, which i never could! I am a good student and I am kind of confident about it now because I know with great hardwork i could conquer the hardles of the studies. I have always craved for love. I had a cousin of my age who were always appreciated everywhere by everyone of my family for her beauty and talent and i were always called to be the average. So my main problem now is, I suffer a lot thinking if I am looking good or not. In a get together I always pretend to be something else which maybe is likeable to others and always think inside my mind, if the people around me are liking me. I crave for attention, I pretend to be someone else who i am not just to be the perfect to everyone! I am tired of this. I cant hold it anymore. I often feel like killing myself! I can't change how I look. I am never confident about my look and attire! What to do!? I want to live a happy life. I dont want these anymore! But i cant get over it! Please help me!

@tadpolenese Thank you for your interesting comment. I'm not familiar with that exact two-step technique. Thanks for the tip.

Thanks heaps for the videos I really couldn't believe myself when I found your video on wikihow on dealing with BPD. If I may give you what sort of state of mind I was in, I felt my life seemed like it was falling apart and I have strong tendency to see things in just black and white. I had some several experiences that were closely identical with the examples of insecurities and inferiority you were mentioning plus I am a real sensitive type and had been constantly fighting and plainly ignoring my emotions most of my life since I just didn't know how to deal with them which were exploding just few minutes ago. I had recently been prescribed with some sleeping pills for stress related insomnia and was considering either swallow a bunch with a good bottle of vodka to make an early finish or take another shot and fight this. Luckily I decided on the latter and found your videos. From your honesty and sharing I think I can be motivated again but this time by not ignoring what I feel. This is all God's honest truth and don't just think of this as a cliche but you have truly made a difference in my someone else's life thanks again dude you are just awesome!

@JourneysLady2006 Thank you! The other video is on the selfharmsupport channel which I was part of. Take care!

@exxxpansion Thanks Jim! I wish you good luck! It isn't easy. But stay strong!

Good luck to you my friend!

@Clash139 I've felt a similar way over the years, I felt as if i could blow away on the wind and nobody would notice, and that would be a good thing because then I wouldn't have to deal with how i feel inferior to them. But recently i realized that by just being me I play an important part in peoples lives; think about it, most people I think worry about what others think of them, but im someone my friends can talk to, the fact that i stop and talk to them probably gives them a bit of a boost.

Goodluck with everything! :) Keep it up!

dankjewel!! dit helpt. nu weet ik dat ik niet alleen in dit zit.

@mimi0674 So great to hear that!

Hey man. This was good. And helpful.

I respect your bravery intelligence in aticulate mind friend....to varying degrees we share your experience.xxcoooo

Thank you...

Well everything you just mentioned was a part of me that i never considered to be unnormal. I thought all people wanted to be the best. I went to great lenght to be perfect both body and mind, but mostly mind. I went to a different school recently because I wanted to be the most knowledgable and everyone there is very competetive, and once i saw this, I drew myself the most timid girl you could find. I am not my real self anymore like I once was... :/

@InterpretationDream Thank you for your opinion. :)

I have all the symptoms of inferiority complex - I'm the textbook case. My parents are both Yale PhDs, who always thought I was weird as a kid. There was emotional neglect and ridicule. When there was a problem in my life, they looked at me as the instigator. I believe my parents love their children, but made terrible mistakes along the way. Things got bad when I was 11. We moved from California to Boston, where I entered a school where I was emotionally bullied constantly...cont'd above

@CandysAllMediaReview :) I hope you are doing ok within your relationship. Stay strong!

@jaesong Not really. But sometimes it is part of it for several reasons.

@paindoll You're welcome.

@adrienne317 YES let's hope so!! And, imho, i think it will :)

I'm 22 now and I feel like i'm at the end of my rope since 8 years old messed up child hood i speak to my mom like once every other month because she makes me so incredibly sad. I moved away from NY to Baltimore when i was 17 and have been depressed more then ever I have no one too talk too I have all these achievements that mean 0 to me and friends that dont whether to speak or stay away

wow, thank you, first time I've heard my storey in someone else

Love lost, hurts - a lot. Being told your going to die from an illness, hurts a lot. Anything traumatic can trigger people to develop these complexes. I wager even an older - mentally established (so to say) person could develop it too. Give someone enough pain and self doubt and bake at 360' to perfection...

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission-Eleanor Roosevelt. Good video. I struggle with this but not to this extent...but still I know I have neediness issues and inferior complex. Working on it! Taking ownership! You're lucky you even had a relationship, i've never had one with a girls so that feeds into the inferior complex and insecurity as far as romantically. Friends I have no problem. I hate it lol.

Shortcomings? Well let me give you an example: you're at a party and someone comes over to talk to you and you start to feel anxious (I have nothing to talk about, I don't know how to keep this conversation going) You feel that you're falling short on your social skills => shortcoming This could be true but also only existing in your own head.

@gagbana Thank you.

@maritzellycon You are welcome!! :)

Tremendous courage

good job!

And I will not put myself out there for people to walk all over me and or cheat on me, or hell, they'll think I'm a boring fuck and leave, making me even sadder. I try to not make friends even though I want friends. I've had 'friends' who're actually assholes. Everybody in this planet has the potential to hurt you, even your loved ones and those close to you, so I chose to not have any relation to anyone even though it hurts. I'm a failure and I'll stick to that.

yes i understand this in so many ways do you find you attract loud strong minded friends ?. I understand taking on allot of responsibility at an young age ,failing at school i saw it as the time i stopped believing in myself ...but really it started younger then that ........... nice destructive 20s yip lil bits of my story