Dealing with Social Anxiety

Рет қаралды 19,941

14 жыл бұрын

It's important when it comes to social anxiety to:
- Understand and recognize your behavior and what you are doing wrong when you get into social situations
- What is it that you do nowadays that keeps making you feel this way? What do you do to compensate?
- Who do you WANT to be / how do you WANT to react to the things that happen to you?
- What are your good qualities? How can you use them when it comes to social anxiety?
Working on your social anxiety could decrease your SI.
Because most of the time they are related.
I'll try to make a part 2 about social anxiety very soon, because I think there is so much more to say about all this. It feels like i've only covered the top of the iceberg in this video. Any suggestions?
Yes it's the same video as the one on SelfHarmSupport ;)
So don't bother watching it again, if you've seen it already ;)
Self harm & Social Anxiety. I'm taking the questions in a different direction. I'm focusing on the social aspect that lies within these questions.
1. Do you ever feel paranoid that people know that you SI?
2. If so does it stop you from taking part in everyday activities? (e.g going out in town, meeting friends)
3. If so how do you deal with/overcome these feelings of paranoia?
Leave a comment if you want to :)
Take care everyone!
Love,
Bas

Пікірлер: 67

@Cl4rendon 10 жыл бұрын

I got diagnosed this year. However i`ve been procrastinating my effects for over 20 years. I am so glad i found your channel and i`m also one of your "admirers". You explain things so easy & joyful. That makes a huge difference to other BPD boards. Keep up the good work man. Love ya!

@nataly9047 8 жыл бұрын

honey i also feel like i want to hug you so hard. I have been diagnosed just a month ago, and it has been a huge relief to me, all my life feeling different and along. now I know that I am not the only one. I can relate deeply with your videos in so many ways, and it's so helpful for me to see that this is not just me, I am not such a bad person for struggling to try to relate normaly with others, for example. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING YOUR CHANEL, I KNOW HOW HARD IT MUST BE TO OVERCOME THE FEAR TO BE JUDGED, AND ANY WAY YOU TAKE THE STEP TRYING TO HELP OTHERS, THAT JUST SHOWS WHAT AN AMAZING HUMAN BEEN YOU ARE!

@mwinnful 12 жыл бұрын

I completely get that, I also play parts with everyone which is why I never connect to anybody properly! It's so easy to understand other people with BPD, all these comments and videos on this great channel really help thank you so much :)!

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@MammalMaster3 You are welcome of course! Thank you for your comment!

@RapidCycling07 13 жыл бұрын

I truly admire you Bas. I wish I could meet someone like you in person to be friends with. I don't know if you realize the positive effect that you are having on many people's lives with your videos. You are like an angel. I respect this man...

@keegburkholdernf 12 жыл бұрын

I think what you are doing is awesome. I have struggled with social anxiety the majority of my life. Though the strange thing has been, I can give a talk to a room full of people with no problem. Thank you for teaching on such vulnerable issues!!!

@asphyxiafeeling 13 жыл бұрын

you are a really amazing person for setting this channel up. Hearing you talk is like therapy for me. You make so much sense. I'm going to try and use what I learn here to make my life better. Thank you.

@impulse1311 11 жыл бұрын

This is so simple, yet some people never get the answer to this, genius!!

@cosmicpolitan 11 жыл бұрын

You are a survivor. You are Corageous and creative. And you have a beautiful Light to share with the world. Remember that you are profoundly loved and have something important to contribute to the world.

@MeAndMyBlackTable 12 жыл бұрын

@tsiddharthan90 Hi there :) Thank you for your comment. I only do KZfaq. I am not so great with writing since i am dyslectic. Take care.

@TheNadakan 12 жыл бұрын

Oh gosh, this is so me. I feel very fragmented in character. I'm trying to be myself but I'm not sure who that is just yet. Thankyou for this. I can really relate. I try not to focus on my achievements either. I try not to brag about success because I know its compensating for how badly I feel about me. Also try to keep conversations going. It is really hard. You're doing really well :) x

@gabriels2613 12 жыл бұрын

That's good man keep it up. I know exactly what your saying. It's kindof wierd when you think about it. Because it almost feels like everybody around you wants you to say something when you don't feel like it. Or it just gets awkward because its to silent. I developed my social anxiety from moving from a diverse city and moving to a not so diverse place which made it hard for me to be myself and be the funny kid that I was because everyone was so into trying to be cool and trend setting...

@saleaway100 11 жыл бұрын

youre amazing keep up the good work, i could never tell anybody about all this, its not accepted in society, most people dont speak of these things, for you to do this it makes everyone else feel normal

@loopyslop 11 жыл бұрын

But I do realize that my confidence holds me back but even when I am confident it feels like I'm just sitting on the edge of society. I feel like the side character in my life's story. I've honestly had times where I look in the mirror and just space out thinking is this me, where am I and why am I here. I so desire to have a life where if nothing else I felt equal to my extraordinary friends who are able to live their lives and need each other. I'm aware I am wanted, but I strive to be needed.

@aztradelic 11 жыл бұрын

Ian Mansfield. What you feel could be related to existential issues, and is perfectly normal. What Bass is doing is an example on how to deal with this. He is finding a purpose to the everyday problems. But, he has giving it a turn into helping others. Everybody has its purpose. Find acceptance in your life, confront yourself and help others. There is no greater joy. To gain better insight I recommend the book "The art of love" Author: Erich Fromm. Hope this can be of help.

@tunekriel2258 10 жыл бұрын

You are so brave..thank you for this video

@tunekriel2258 10 жыл бұрын

I feel just like this! Thank you for sharing this.

@WendyFedan 11 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate your authenticity!!

@Bellecinno 11 жыл бұрын

I wish you were my friend where i live .. You understand the feeling so well, even with the BPD .. I have Severe Depression, Social Anxiety, BPD and I'm bulimic .. >.< but it's good to watch your videos .. and this video really does explain what i go through in this specific topic .. Keep doing what you're doing, you might just end up helping a lot of people ..

@laspilly 11 жыл бұрын

8:40 I often refrain from asking questions because I'm afraid they will think I am nosey or weird or lacking boundaries. I'm afraid even a question like "how did you sleep last night" could be taken as too intimate or that the other person will think "so, now, why does she want to know that? What does she want?"

@vaporosoez 7 жыл бұрын

You are a beautiful soul. I have so much respect for your humanity.

@DakotaIndiana 11 жыл бұрын

I think I feel both different AND unwanted. I get those feelings very often. Sometimes I feel like an outcast in social situations, or I feel unwanted or unwelcome there.. as if people don't want me around. As if I'm insignificant. As if no one cares about me. I think I have too many feelings.

@izzles369 7 жыл бұрын

i have social anxiety and i have wondered at times if i have bpd as well.Do you feel these things interplay in a way for you? I feel like growing up with crippling social anxiety sort of messed up my emotional development

@omg28374 11 жыл бұрын

You are a very compelling speaker. Thanks for the video.

@heyner795 8 жыл бұрын

all you're saying is literally me. glad I found you.

@MeAndMyBlackTable 12 жыл бұрын

@KeegBurkholder you're welcome

@leraginasian 10 жыл бұрын

love your videos. you tell it like it is. much love.

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@RapidCycling07 OMG, Thank you so much for this comment. I just say it and i'm speechless... I wish you all the best. And thanx again.

@blankblank9778 7 жыл бұрын

I love how there's no dislikes 😍 your great keep it up, it feels better knowing others feel these ways.

@Animegal227 7 жыл бұрын

I understand you so well

@middoo08 13 жыл бұрын

excellent, made me feel great, thankyou

@chocobunnyS2 12 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video because I feel that you're the only perelate to at this moment. I f

@firegirl97 5 жыл бұрын

I always got made fun of for being childish and a goody goody ...although I was a child ....and I still am childish a goody goody ...I'm really girly and really playful outgoing and active and so I try to put on a attitude of being tough and non emotionless or dis attached at one point I wanted to even project the image of complete masculinity ...or I try to act like what is the norm in a group of people I always hated telling people what I liked because I felt deeply shameful by it...that's why I self sabotage it seems ...because I'm afraid to share .... ....I'm having an identity crisis too, I feel shame when I start to behave as myself ...I think it's the shame I have to face...I can't be accepted by everyone I have to learn that other people's opinions does not define my value as a person..I fear abandonment ... Thank you for producing this content it's giving me a lot of insight! I'm planning to seek DBT treatment LW soon... I need to learn how to handle these emotions ...my life is in shambles ...

@MeAndMyBlackTable 12 жыл бұрын

@mwinnful You're welcome! :)

@DaddysPearl1 11 жыл бұрын

I have a scar on my wrist from a failed suicide attempt. I do worry that ppl will see it & think I'm crazy. Luckily my watch covers most of it. I don't feel like I'll fit in. Only leave the house to take/pick up my kids from school. I have no friends where I live now. I've lived here 3 yrs. i feel like i won't fit in, will let wrong ppl in, or will say or do something to look foolish or unstable so i just stay home as much as possible.

@celticcounselling5929 8 жыл бұрын

Excellent video, thank you so much :)

@ottawadrummer 11 жыл бұрын

very nice job, thanks for the video.

@loopyslop 11 жыл бұрын

sigh the thing is not that I feel different... its that I feel normal, I am wanted but I don't understand why, I feel underwhelming. I feel so remarkably average, I pity myself and then hate that I do. I'm stuck between wanting what I want and then being disgusted by the fact that I feel entitled to my desires. I can't find a medium between both. The big thing is that I feel ascetically confused, I just want a solid response about what others see me as, it would put me at peace.

@djgreen4742 11 жыл бұрын

That was helpful I could never do something like that.

@maniok1977 10 жыл бұрын

You're describing me...

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@middoo08 You're welcome.

@aprinster 10 жыл бұрын

your amazing well done ur charming and so smart well spoken ^^

@PepperJackJohnson 11 жыл бұрын

thank-you for making a youtube channel.

@alex4456able 11 жыл бұрын

Awesome vid

@tiffanidec31 14 жыл бұрын

i can relate to this video so much its scary... lol good video

@markpayne2332 11 жыл бұрын

i can agree i am covered in tattoos because that is my way of masking my self i felt if i coverd my self people would stay away from me i have been doing this since i was 14 i am now 35 and still doing it. because i dont like who i am

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@JurgD2011 Thank you :)

@chocobunnyS2 12 жыл бұрын

You're the only person I can relate to at the moment*

@MadeByIsaura 12 жыл бұрын

Erg vreemd dat ik in zoveel van wat je vertelt mezelf herken... (striptekenaar willen worden, altijd een soort rolletje spelen om te proberen zijn zoals je denkt dat mensen willen dat je bent enz) weet je, dit boek ->("hoe blijf je overeind als de wereld je overweldigt" van Elaine N. Aron) is misschien wel een tip. Blijf vooral videos maken enz, want dat doe je echt goed!

@richardreptar1 11 жыл бұрын

I know what ur talking about in this vid, refering to the speaker. I look at other ppl and observe their behaviors, but I think I do it way to much to staisfy my emotional needs and social instability, too much or no?

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@chloezone1980 Thanks, and i wish you all the best.

@maniok1977 10 жыл бұрын

I was never able to be myself...

@12gauge599 13 жыл бұрын

@MeAndMyBlackTable ooh ok

@RobinK 13 жыл бұрын

Those are some pretty good conversation tips, thanks! It's weird how people with BPD can relate to each other('s situations) so easily. On the other hand of course: It's not :D

@SBWielinga 13 жыл бұрын

@MeAndMyBlackTable Totally unnecessary indeed... in fact, I suspect some women may even find it attractive (I know I don't mind a mole like that on an attractive woman). From my own social anxiety (which is thankfully mostly in the past) I know it's easy to think of many things you're doing wrong in social situations, but 99% of those things aren't even noticed at all in my experience. BTW, to me you seem very gentle, open and confident. You're probably doing a much better job than you think :-)

@MeAndMyBlackTable 12 жыл бұрын

@BRXBOMBER88 self injury

@12gauge599 13 жыл бұрын

Ik heb deze probleem ook,maar ik weet de oorzaak al...Vroeger toen ik een kind was,was mijn neus gewoon recht,maar op een gegeven moment in de puberteit is tie scheef geworden,ik heb geen idee hoe,maar het is gebeurt.En dus als ik in een sociale situatie ben,blijf ik steeds denken: O nee,hij/zij vindt me lelijk en gemeen :S,dus daarom heb ik dit gekregen...

@DennisLottig 12 жыл бұрын

i have terrible social anxiety, its awful..

@MeAndMyBlackTable 13 жыл бұрын

@KingOfPopDied Ik heb een moedervlek op mijn gezicht waar ik niet trots op ben lol. Maar ik weet inmiddels dat niemand daar echt naar kijkt... Het heeft me lang beziggehouden, maar blijkbaar onnodig...

@12gauge599 13 жыл бұрын

Btw mn neus is niet helemaal scheef,er zit zeg maar een bult tussen.