Meanwhile… Paltrow Loves Spanx | Costco Ozempic | Coin Flip Math

Meanwhile… Paltrow Loves Spanx | Costco Ozempic | Coin Flip Math | Star Wars Blue Milk

Рет қаралды 881,057

Ай бұрын

Meanwhile… Gwyneth Paltrow confessed to an obsession with Spanx, Costco is selling the latest weight loss drugs, the odds on a coin toss aren’t exactly 50/50, and the blue milk from the “Star Wars” films is about to hit store shelves.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

Пікірлер: 522

@zeroreyortsed3624 Ай бұрын

The arms race between the writer's scripts and stephen's lung capacity is hilarious. The opening just keeps getting more convoluted.😂

@karezaalonso7110 Ай бұрын

I think it actually used to be longer and they cut it down,

@lynemac2539 Ай бұрын

Probably on doctor's orders!

@kitcoffey7194 Ай бұрын

My favorite part is when he says, "Sometimes... SOMETIMES..."

@TheSkylayne Ай бұрын

As long as he says topical everytime I’m good 😂

@TheloniousCube Ай бұрын

"milk got?" - they should use it and they should pay your writers!

@user-mg7cu6sn8f Ай бұрын

Thank you for pointing out the ludicrosity called Palthow

@donjones4719 Ай бұрын

Once you've typed Paltrow you don't have to type out ludicrosity . :D

@Dbb27 Ай бұрын

She’s a hot mess. Hard to figure anyone would follow her. Glad to see the shine coming off of her.

@coma_TOES Ай бұрын

@@donjones4719 It's spelled *G O O P*

@tonyhsloanejr Ай бұрын

So the new move for Panera is to take away what people want most. Quality.

@dannywolfpero Ай бұрын

They've been doing that for years

@Maya_Pinion Ай бұрын

Or info bout hormones. Do you know how to make a hormone---- Shhhh( sorry) 😔 * Don't pay her.*

@CannotBBlank Ай бұрын

Exactly. It's why I eat there, participate in their frequent buyer program... I can't be the only customer they will lose.

@benn454 Ай бұрын

BUT THINK OF THE SHORT TERM PROFITS - C Suite execs as they prepare their golden parachutes

@repealthepatriotact Ай бұрын

No, the new move is to package the company as attractively as possible for investors who may or may not be as concerned about organic and quality marketing. Nothing new, companies do it all the time. It's up to the new shareholders to push the board members to keep the quality high. We'll find out in 12 months.......

@ayceod Ай бұрын

The fact that we're only slightly phased when an already overpriced fast food restaurant announces it will be DECREASING quality without any change to their pricing is absolutely insane...

@olorin4317 Ай бұрын

I heard that new blue milk now has 30% less Smurf.

@DissectGibberish Ай бұрын

I love it!!! 😆😆😆😆😆

@GummyBearWA Ай бұрын

When I introduced my 9yo grandson to the SW universe, he thought the blue milk was magic. On his tenth birthday, I made him blue milk to have with his Yoda bday cake. He flipped out.

@DarkMatter-no3td Ай бұрын

@GummyBearWA Flipped out, he did... The force must be strong within the young Padawan. Train him, you must! 🙃🙂

@BullShitThat Ай бұрын

Take him to Ep 10 did you, disappointed he was, when he saw the true magic of fresh blue milk 🤢

@bluegreenglue6565 Ай бұрын

@@BullShitThat : D

@sevenprovinces Ай бұрын

In his adolescent years, NEVER invite him to a Breaking Bad marathon! All joking aside, that's cute!

@Canuckmom128 Ай бұрын

Ahhh…the Power of Grandmas who are home Bakers, to impress the Grands. Great touch with the Blue Milk accompaniment !

@theseinstrumentals Ай бұрын

Wow, blue milk for sale. Finally. Too bad no one’s had access to food coloring for the past 50 years lol

@crptnite Ай бұрын

Or a few blueberries and a blender.

@ronbingham1601 Ай бұрын

Australia has had blue syrup for decades (called Blue Heaven). It makes an awesome milkshake.

@Ryfolamf Ай бұрын

Once again, drifters and bindles do the heavy lifting for Meanwhile.

@malavoy1 Ай бұрын

Better than the grifters and swindlers that do the heavy lifting in congress.

@victoriabaker4400 Ай бұрын

@@malavoy1Republicans

@benn454 Ай бұрын

@@victoriabaker4400Yes, but really all of them, sadly.

@Muzikrazy213 Ай бұрын

@@malavoy1 Well done👏

@victoriabaker4400 Ай бұрын

@@benn454 I don't agree. And, when Democrats have been grifters or are corrupt, they get drummed out of the corps. Unlike Republican Party, where they are celebrated for a job well done.

@GrandLotus-Iroh Ай бұрын

I honestly didn't think Panera's food quality could get any worse.

@repealthepatriotact Ай бұрын

@GrandLotus-Iroh What other sandwich chain are you comparing it to??

@NewMessage Ай бұрын

"It puts the olives on the pizza, or else it gets no tip again!"

@laalaa99stl Ай бұрын

I'd buy a blue "Milk Got?" t-shirt.

@jeffs6090 Ай бұрын

Mmm, buy that shirt I would. Buy, or buy not. There is no try on.

@itsmeprasad1987 Ай бұрын

@@jeffs6090Costco YODA

@ltberzerker9966 Ай бұрын

Too, me.

@MrChupacabra555 Ай бұрын

I don't know, after "Last Jedi" showed us that the milk comes from the teats of strangely humanoid, possibly intelligent Alien Sea Manatees. I'm not that jazzed to drink it now 😅😂

@johnlee7164 Ай бұрын

@@jeffs6090 next day amazon prime deliver, mmh? blue lactose intollerant actually i am.

@napalmholocaust9093 Ай бұрын

47 years is a long time to milk a movie.

@SwiftJustice Ай бұрын

Antifascism never goes out of style

@DarkMatter-no3td Ай бұрын

@napalmholocaust9093 Maybe that's y the milk is blue. 😁 Just beware of the yellow snow....🤣😂

@malavoy1 Ай бұрын

When Disney gets involved, they'll milk it dry then sell it as powdered milk, just add your own water.😁😁

@TheZotmeister Ай бұрын

Underrated comment.

@JeannetteReed Ай бұрын

Yes Star. War's marketing began a whole phase of cashing in on a movie. TV ads during sentimental movies chop film time. 47 yrs make a newbie to squeezers of biblical, family, holiday, or you name it. Gone w Ten Wonderful Life at You, Kid Commandments. The uncut version is sometimes a revelation! It Happened One Night eg.

@hervigdewilde3599 Ай бұрын

"All chaps are assless." - Raj Koothrappali

@victoriabaker4400 Ай бұрын

Sure, but the phrase has a real ring to it. 😂

@rhetoricalquestion6009 Ай бұрын

_Star Wars_ blue milk: for those going-nowhere, stuck-on-the-farm blues.

@roterstern1301 Ай бұрын

5:13 is that the definition of "hit and run"?

@Awoken_Remmuz Ай бұрын

Panera cutting cost, what investors and higher ups not getting enough money for penthouses and yachts?

@That-Guy_ Ай бұрын

They are also switching to par baked frozen bread and getting rid of the bakers.

@user-sv9nb8ky2t Ай бұрын

Nothing says quality like CEO bonuses.

@kylecarey4189 Ай бұрын

Subway > Panera. Panera has been absolute shit for years. Portions, quality have been reduced over and over

@RustOnWheels Ай бұрын

Yup, when businesses go to market their business plan changes from selling (quality) products to making money for stock holders, which is almost mutually exclusive. Seen it so effing many times…

@auralangst6177 Ай бұрын

Trickle down!

@lundworks9901 Ай бұрын

My friend back in high school put blue color in her milk when she drank it in her rainbow glass with clouds so "the sky looked normal".

@lazyperfectionist1 Ай бұрын

5:03 🤷‍♂Well, sure. Why not? It's still a gym and the equipment still works.

@rgwak Ай бұрын

350,757 is a big number. Not as big as the amount of money t'rump owes for being a fraud, but still, pretty big number. 🤣

@Licayn Ай бұрын

To the dingdong talking about the election, the only verifiable election fraud was committed by Republicans. Good job doing no research

@TheDanishGuyReviews Ай бұрын

The Coin Flip not being exactly 50/50 has itself been known for some years now. It's the percentage and the coin flip study that's new.

@sparkleyard Ай бұрын

Methodologically investigating an assumption is kinda the point of science

@Seigensi Ай бұрын

if you throw the coin at someone the result will always be the same.

@tonymarsh8436 Ай бұрын

Boring. Dude. Boring.

@jupiterkansas Ай бұрын

you're not invited to my party

@rumpvirus7393 Ай бұрын

If you drop the coin over a sewer grate it will statistically not land on either side and go through the slots. The same law applies to cell phones.

@trinleywangmo Ай бұрын

The Panera Joke was gold!

@richardmiller9883 Ай бұрын

No Moonwhile today?

@QUICKBOOKS1 Ай бұрын

That would have been PERFECT! Right up there with, "A Closer Lick", from Meyers! (Ice Cream with Biden)

@ursaltydog Ай бұрын

IF Panera uses less costly ingredients, betta go down on those prices to match the quality.. or conscience of the patrons.. :)

@tedhennings4746 Ай бұрын

I’d pay money to hear the late show band do a full show

@stephenjames2951 Ай бұрын

Ok the treadmill joke worked

@evancairo Ай бұрын

When i was working at blues clues in 1998 i remember them doing a cross promotion with motts apple sauce that ended up turning all the kids' faeces a bright shade of blue and had to recall the product from all stores. How quickly we forget the past and rush to hubris again!

@jacquejac1840 Ай бұрын

I'm not sure if you meant faces or feces. Either way is interesting.

@Kitty8791 Ай бұрын

Smurf Berry Crunch cereal had a similar issue w/ blue & red stool (that'd be the smurfberries) leading to the formula being tweaked in 1987 & re-released as Smurf Magic Berries, before eventually being discontinued.

@malavoy1 Ай бұрын

Blue buttercream frosting does the same thing. 😁😁

@terryhunt2659 Ай бұрын

And why would this be a problem? When I spent a long weekend in Dublin, I noticed that my increased Guinness consumption turned my stools black; various foodstuffs and drinks can affect urine colour (and smell). All harmless: digestion is not magic - what goes in somewhat influences what comes out a day or three later, it's not hard to put two and two together unless one is _very_ stupid.

@Taricus Ай бұрын

@@terryhunt2659 I'm one of those people with the rarer genetic mutation that when I eat beats, I pee red or pink LOL! It always freaks me out at first and then I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I ate beets..." LOL! My body doesn't process whatever it is that makes the red color in beets. It just passes through me LOL!

@corey_deroche 2 күн бұрын

Love Stephen's deliveries. Awesome show as always.

@rhetoricalquestion6009 Ай бұрын

3:14 Panera dropping its "no antibiotics ever" promise? Well, if it's good enough for Chick-fil-A ... _[Meanwhile… Antibiotics In Chick-fil-A_ • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert • Mar 28, 2024]

@jaym2381 Ай бұрын

Everyone is making a thing out of blue milk, but what about the multi-coloured pot scrubber pads with jam and egg roll wrap?

@archive881 Ай бұрын

Don't forget it's also deep fried!

@chucqie Ай бұрын

Pill bottle filled with squirrel teeth...WHAt 😂😂😂😂😂

@machocamacho1503 Ай бұрын

that eggroll looks like soylent green soylent red and soylent yellow. IT'S MADE OF PEOPLE

@rozalie_angel Ай бұрын

4:15 Long live František Bartoš !!! 🇨🇿 May Fortune be forever in your 50.8-percentage favour, fellow Czech citizen! ❤

@DumpsterDivingDragon Ай бұрын

A coin flip is simply just another '49/51 thang' in life. `Just depends on what you're selling/flipping your Soul, to/for!

@stratusmccloud Ай бұрын

I love how certain words keep popping up in his intros, like "bindle" or "bespoke."

@kemouse Ай бұрын

"A teenager with strep coughed on this sandwich" It's advertising for an untapped market!

@sharktomesmiles Ай бұрын

Damn it was the cup that turned blue when poring liquid into the cup. Don't make me get Star War Nerd on Thee!!!

@iancowan3527 Ай бұрын

47 years... Took awhile but force is strong... "Is strong, this one. Yes!" - Yoda...

@HRHDMKYT Ай бұрын

So many laughs in one tiny segment! “A drawstring from a drifter’s sweatpants”, “a squirrel’s teeth”, “pumpkin pies the size of a tractor wheel”…😂 I love ❤️ Stephen Colbert!

@SpaceForceCommander Ай бұрын

Coin flips have always assumed both sides of the coin are equal, but both sides have different images on their uneven surfaces. Do coin makers go to the trouble of weighing each side as they design the coin? I don’t think they go to all that trouble.

@connycontainer9459 Ай бұрын

It's usually equal screen time though.

@tonymarsh8436 Ай бұрын

Boring. Dude. Boring

@Taricus Ай бұрын

He was saying whatever side you started on.... Which means they were both pretty equal in doing the same thing... In statistics that is saying that the results of the experiment are based on the initial conditions. --But if you think about it, it's just dumb. Maybe it's the way he flips it? That means what he's saying is a variable that has an effect on the response is just a confounding variable.

@steveschulte8696 Ай бұрын

Another boring comment. The coin rotates around its center of gravity in a vacuum. The results may be biased by the initial conditions, one side up, or by the rotational velocity versus the height of the toss, i.e. if you flip it up to a consistent height and at a consistent rotational speed, the coin will always return clos to the initial position. With a small number of trials, the number of heads may be greater than the number of tails, and there is a decreasing disparity with greater numbers of trials, coin flips, that does not go to zero. It is asymptotic to zero with large numbers.

@monikapaden2937 Ай бұрын

Quote from one of the articles about the study "The authors of the new paper conducted 350,757 flips, using different coins from 46 global currencies to eliminate a heads-tail bias between coin designs. (They also used a variety of people to rule out individuals with biased flipping techniques corrupting the results.) Regardless of the coin type, the same-side outcome could be predicted at 0.508, which rounds up perfectly to Diaconis’ “about 51 percent” prediction from 16 years ago"

@jwnyc3 Ай бұрын

This Meanwhile intro was poetry and SC is an epic hero.

@wtf1185 Ай бұрын

Wow, coffee in minutes, will wonders never cease. I chuckled heartily at Dr. coin toss at a party. And Gwyneth Paltrow could prance in front of me naked and I wouldn't notice. Well, maybe just until my coffee was ready. *_I love AOC._*

@rawworking Ай бұрын

I concur. Love AOC

@rumpvirus7393 Ай бұрын

Minuets Yes but the robot rabbit lays the fresh beans first.

@davidlundquist1979 Ай бұрын

Wow, five opinions in five sentences. Now that's efficient commenting!

@kinsmed Ай бұрын

Very smooth delivery of really good material. Put THAT in the Smithsonian.

@herauthon Ай бұрын

That eggrolewrap looks more like a scrubsponge .. PICA(R) certified..

@brokenalgorithms4741 Күн бұрын

Hey, I was just in the US and a coffee in minutes is an improvement. I waited forever for my coffees.

@SyzygyNoon Ай бұрын

In regards to that “egg roll”, I start at the bottom, slow down in the middle, and stop at the top, because I must vomit.

@Petalumination Ай бұрын

It’s too bad the slogan "taste the rainbow" is already claimed by Skittles. It would be perfect for the Mets' deep-fried monstrosity, as it travels down and then back up your gullet.

@SyzygyNoon Ай бұрын

@@Petalumination Amusement park ride called NOPE! (Don't worry. It's a small-town setup. No lawsuits involving the movie. Also, no relation.)

@MM-iy7gz Ай бұрын

In these divided times, can we at least agree that Gwyneth Paltrow should go away?

@tinkerstrade3553 Ай бұрын

Frankly, I've never been impressed by her. But then, I'm anti Botox.

@edkrzywdzinski9121 Ай бұрын

When did she go insane? She seemed nice to begin with and had some decent movies under her belt.

@bethany2820 Ай бұрын

@@edkrzywdzinski9121I think it’s like Tom Cruise… they’ve always been nuts, but they eventually reached a point of fame and wealth that they no longer cared about hiding it from the public

@Teeveepicksures Ай бұрын

It may be the only things keeping the country together.

@kazuma7232 Ай бұрын

Aye, I could do that.

@brandonyoung-kemkes1128 Ай бұрын

America truly is a place of wonder. I thought pies only came in one size.

@billyyank1163 Ай бұрын

Another thing about that coin flip researcher: You do NOT want to thumb wrestle him.

@jimwilliams3816 3 күн бұрын

Gwyneth Paltrow and “weirdly” go together at all times, regardless of context.

@comicartbymar2163 Ай бұрын

I still feel like he's gonna say quarantine while Everytime #unresolvedtrauma 🤣

@SpaceForceCommander Ай бұрын

I thought just adding blue food coloring to milk would be quicker. Asian stores have delicious Green-colored Soya Milk for decades now.

@edkrzywdzinski9121 Ай бұрын

It's most likely pandan flavoured soy not just colouring.

@kappatvating Ай бұрын

Intro is always epic.

@kenbrown2808 Ай бұрын

olease - when I was a teenager, I could consistently flip a coin, catch it, and display it as the opposite of its starting side. it's letting it hit the ground that adds the element of randomness.

@moxnix1026 Ай бұрын

Steven, I watch the show and I know you spend most of your time not over there, but, right where you are behind your desk sitting in your chair...Meanwhile. lol

@MausMasher54 Ай бұрын

Uh, wouldn't Coin Flips be different between different sized coins????

@catherinethorstenberg8957 Ай бұрын

Why ?

@karezaalonso7110 Ай бұрын

Nobody likes the smell of a stale "candle"

@judyodonoghue7715 Ай бұрын

I don't like the smell of fish

@kcguy8864 Ай бұрын

That Mets joke made me actually laugh out loud 😆

@ms0824 Ай бұрын

"And then.." 😂😂😂😂

@kyrie363 Ай бұрын

blue is a delicious color for some bizarro reason 💙

@Kitty8791 Ай бұрын

Synesthesia is real. 😅

@kyrie363 Ай бұрын

@@Kitty8791 omg right?! Spot on!

@darthjump Ай бұрын

You can find your blue milk in the fridge right next to the Cerveza Crystal.

@mirrorman95 Ай бұрын

6:08 Best joke

@Sjalabais Ай бұрын

I don't get IPO logic. Yes, you want to *maximize* earnings, but if the cost of that strategy is to destroy the brand differentiation and idea of Panera, or Reddit or whatever company that cut and streamlined itself into nothing but a forgettable option among many...the longterm prospects look terrible.

@That-Guy_ Ай бұрын

They are also switching to par baked frozen bread. Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi markets have already switched. More to come this year.

@dsmith9412 Ай бұрын

So Panera stock will perform just like DJT ⬇️⬇️⬇️

@victoriabaker4400 Ай бұрын

That's what I was thinking. This sounds to me like there was a hostile takeover of the company and they are now stripping assets.

@malusignatius Ай бұрын

4:50 was a bit harsh on the researcher... Anyone researcher I've met after deal with that data would be 'I don't want to ever see an effing coin-flip ever again...'

@victoriabaker4400 Ай бұрын

He was just kidding. Everyone knows nobody would converse like that, it was just an opportunity to demonstrate another one of the countless gears of Colbert.

@Leash_Canada Ай бұрын

Paltrow wearing Spanx (for compression) is like a snake wearing boots...completely unnecessary!

@flnthrn2 Ай бұрын

That's Miss Paltrow to you, Steve. ❤❤😎😎

@AbeKenney Ай бұрын

Squirrel teeth!

@rumpvirus7393 Ай бұрын

They spent all their animal welfare on them.

@tonymarsh8436 Ай бұрын

Hey Steve you missed a joke there. The guy in the gym, "Hey I gotta get outta here before the cops drug test me"!

@Nothingbutlovehere369 Ай бұрын

Thanks, Tony! 😂

@tremkl Ай бұрын

Has Stephen met a gym bunny? They won’t miss leg day for ANYTHING. 😂

@courtneybermack Ай бұрын

okay but can I get a deep fried cookie roll somewhere that's not a Mets stadium?

@RMhyrax1979 Ай бұрын

"Contaminated skunk bindle," lol 🤣☠

@christineheminger7762 Ай бұрын

Panera: if you thought that nobody could ruin a ham and cheese sandwich

@That-Guy_ Ай бұрын

They are also switching to par baked frozen bread. A few markets have switched and more to follow.

@bluecanine3374 Ай бұрын

@That-Guy_ yeah i heard a tiny bit about that. So basically they bake the bread most of the way to kill the yeast and set the starches to get the inside all like bread, but stop short of forming a crust then freeze it. So risen but not fully ready. I guess this keeps it from going stale waaaaay longer and heats back up and finishes baking in just a few minutes. So guess it is better than just freezing the dough then having to wait a long time to defeost then bake, or frozen fulky baked which gets a weird texture

@That-Guy_ Ай бұрын

@@bluecanine3374 Yep and with the switch they don't need skilled bakers or the delivery network for fresh dough anymore.

@natepicker436 Ай бұрын

Pumpkin pie the size of a tractor wheel...exactly!

@christopherszafranski990 Ай бұрын

Yoda would say, "Milk you have?" not "Milk got?" lol

@archive881 Ай бұрын

I can see that image with the words "Milk you have got?" On a poster hanging in a school cafeteria. 😂

@donjones4719 Ай бұрын

Dammit, now I have to go to a Mets game.

@jamesdale6967 Ай бұрын

🤣milk got !

@oppositeofh8 Ай бұрын

"milk got?" FTW 😹😹😹😹😹 5/5

@ME-zl8ts Ай бұрын

I so relate to the gym guy continuing his workout. "Designated cardio time" must commence

@mcv2178 Ай бұрын

'Contaminated skunk bindle' - yes!

@realityjunky Ай бұрын

Shout out to Ted Levine, one of the bravest actors ever!

@christinamann3640 Ай бұрын

The food at the Calgary Stampede looks at the Mets concession stand and says, “anything you can do, I can do weirder.”

@AmvC Ай бұрын

That milk's not blue. It's golden.

@johnmcclure40 Ай бұрын

So, they reinvented the coffee machine-- but made it slower. Bravo.

@lazyperfectionist1 Ай бұрын

5:38 Seriously? Like we don't have _enough_ unhealthy food in this country?

@laalaa99stl Ай бұрын

Well then that's the only thing the movie Idiocracy got wrong. Costco greeter guy would probably be a lot skinnier.

@vectorfox4782 Ай бұрын

Anything with Paltrow should be on Peenwhile

@FrankBenlin Ай бұрын

Ha ha. Thanks, Dave.

@thesoundsmith Ай бұрын

"You could take out a tooth right now and I wouldn't even _feel_ it!" Of COURSE not, Stephen, it's not YOUR tooth...😬

@norcalpacific Ай бұрын

I bet the robot barista still asks you to tip on the screen

@brianhawthorne7603 Ай бұрын

I wish these clips didn’t cut off in the middle of the band playing.

@Lia-zw1ls7tz7o Ай бұрын

5:13 „I‘m running on a Getaway Tread“ 🎵 😂 The new single by Taylor Swift 😉

@EffingtonCouldBe Ай бұрын

Um... I saw a robot making coffee and mocha back in 2017 - San Francisco. This is NOTHING new folks.

@kimsjohnson Ай бұрын

Good, unbiased synopsis

@BeautyNeedsAWitness Ай бұрын

You had me at "Paltrow loves Spanx" 🎉😂

@nycstreetpoet Ай бұрын

It’s amazing you can get a grant to flip a coin

@blueprairiedog 10 күн бұрын

Skunk bindle is my dog's name!

@kenbrown2808 Ай бұрын

Meanwhile, diabetics are having trouble controlling their blood sugar, because rich people who want effort free weight loss are snapping up all their medicine.

@debjoy12 Ай бұрын

I'm a youth soccer referee so I've flipped coins a couple thousand times. the researcher is correct - when I show the kids the coin I show them the heads side first, then tails, then I flip it. it usually lands on the ground as tails a little less than 2/3 of the time. tails never fails!