Meanwhile… Heinz Targets Chicago | Uggs And Crocs Thriving | Rat Birth Control

Meanwhile… Heinz Targets Chicago | Uggs And Crocs Thriving | Rat Birth Control | $20k Wine Club

Рет қаралды 676,002

29 күн бұрын

Meanwhile… Heinz wants Chicago residents to put ketchup on their hot dogs, ugly shoes are more popular than ever, New York is trying a new approach to pest control, and a fancy wine club requires a steep membership fee and a vibe check.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

Пікірлер: 553

@artel6225 27 күн бұрын

Congrats Team Colbert! For featuring T Blanchard: 5-time Grammy winner, composer of 40+ film scores.

@AmusementLabs 27 күн бұрын

How Crocs has managed to survive this long is baffling.

@RH-wj4rz 27 күн бұрын

Oh, thank you.

@casscart1 27 күн бұрын

Nurses

@jarls5890 27 күн бұрын

I believe their natural breeding ground is in hospitals and healthcare in general....

@Tonyhouse1168 27 күн бұрын

Chefs

@___beyondhorizon4664 27 күн бұрын

I recalled my former Australian colleague wore red crocs with her black yoga leggings, she looked like a clown 🤡

@kitcobain444 27 күн бұрын

As a Chicago born and raised female, avid reader, cat and donut loving, wine and rat hating, registered nurse, pidgeon and goat enthusiast, I 💯 related to this particular "Meanwhile". Hilarious! 😂😂😂

@MrVovansim 27 күн бұрын

Yeah, but how many pieces of flair do you have on your Crocs?

@kitcobain444 27 күн бұрын

@MrVovansim dude, I am a nurse. My 'flair' is composed of bodily fluids and other gross items, lol! I can't wear the ones with holes unless my socks are made of plastic 🙃!

@Mortthemoose 27 күн бұрын

@@kitcobain444 Ohhhh 🤢

@Seldomane 27 күн бұрын

Small world, ditto :) Oh and either ketchup on hotdog or mustard/mayo. Peppers? Hell nah.

@singingsunflower9000 26 күн бұрын

@@MrVovansim its funny cause where i live crocs are popular among nurses

@patricialewis8307 27 күн бұрын

We all live for Meanwhile ❤😂

@MsTyrie 27 күн бұрын

Someday we'll argue that rats get contraception but women have to what?

@jkap34 27 күн бұрын

Carry to term even if unviable. Thank you Trump! /sarcasm

@amyreynolds3619 27 күн бұрын

Rats aka Repuklicans aka white Christian men and women?

@mellocello187 27 күн бұрын

Men, meanwhile….🚶🏽

@possiblyadog 27 күн бұрын

New York Pest control? I thought Trump was already on trial

@user-yn7yo1co3k 27 күн бұрын

Clever ...

@amyreynolds3619 27 күн бұрын

@user-yn7yo1co3k , yes it was. Thanks for acknowledging that. Awaiting your response. 😅😂

@gerade-aus 27 күн бұрын

If I could give you a quintillion likes, I would.

@user-yn7yo1co3k 27 күн бұрын

@@gerade-aus How's about saving a couple thousand for the rest of us?

@dash-underscore_name. 27 күн бұрын

🥁

@treetopjones737 27 күн бұрын

When people see someone wearing Crocs: "Ugg!"

@afrolund80 27 күн бұрын

The creators of Idiocracy chose crocs as the shoes of the stupid future. Because they thought the shoes looked so horrible. That no one in their right mind would ever wear them. They were right. I live in Minnesota and see people standing at the train station in their crocs.... all.... year.... round! 🤪

@blakes7207 25 күн бұрын

Stephen Colbert for president

@AIvey-qs1so 27 күн бұрын

I can never unhear, "tweaker-spackle-plank" 😆

@Mortthemoose 27 күн бұрын

Taken directly from one of trump's "speeches" 😂

@Susie_Floozie 27 күн бұрын

Best-crafted introduction EVER. That thrilled my sensibilities all the way to the tweaker's spackle-plank.

@Cactina 27 күн бұрын

I've said it once and I'll say it again- is someone saving these Meanwhile intros and will the collection be published as a book?!?!

@chezmoi42 27 күн бұрын

Or maybe sold at the airport story dispensers?

@dewimatthews6037 27 күн бұрын

The Meanwhile intro writers are superb, matched by Stephen's vocal agility.

@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460 27 күн бұрын

*OMG, Terrance Blanchard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him so much.* 🥰😍🥰😍🥰 *Wow, what a blessing to see him vibing with the late show band!!!*

@eschwarz1003 27 күн бұрын

Terence Blanchard!!!!! the legend

@DiandraStarShine 27 күн бұрын

yes, Sir!!, Mr. Terrence!🙌 & tysm, Mr. Stephen C.!, for making certain Mr. T got his flowers, while still sharing a world with us..🌎

@Lynn.Panadero4242 27 күн бұрын

4:48 Years ago, I was looking for high capacity staples to put in my high capacity stapler. It staples up to 75 pages. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the staples at the office supply store “Staples.” Even more, that’s here I purchased the high capacity stapler.

@dianewilliams1125 27 күн бұрын

😮😮😮😅😅😅

@leavingitblank9363 20 күн бұрын

Meanwhile, Staples also doesn't carry the staples for my mini stapler.

@user-xe9cm8hv8n 27 күн бұрын

Idk, who writes intros for meanwhile, but they are crazy good.!

@theyurireviewer 27 күн бұрын

Enjoyed the Jan Van Eyck triptych reference 🥰

@kotkaconforza 27 күн бұрын

Terence Blanchard is a big get for the band. He's also a great film composer.

@dianewilliams1125 27 күн бұрын

Im living thru some very hard times right now personally. I hate waking up to face another horrible day. Insted of Flipping on my laptop to read depressing emails ,i went right to utube and low and behold "meanwhile " was staring me in the face! God bless Stephen and his writers, you started my day with not only a smile but a full belly laugh! Love to you all and PEACE! BTW the band is great,sweet ax louis! ❤❤❤😊😊😊

@Mortthemoose 27 күн бұрын

Me too 🫂💐

@leavingitblank9363 20 күн бұрын

Just to add to the injustice, a porn bot copied your post and reposted it, where it now sits at the top of the comments because it has 164 likes.

@StarlahMutiny 27 күн бұрын

OMG JAN VAN EYCK REFERENCE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THIS MADE MY ENTIRE YEAR

@Barqu3ntine 27 күн бұрын

Haha me too! I'm from Ghent ^_^

@Grammz67 27 күн бұрын

I NEEDED my dose of Meanwhile

@Dharmarenee 27 күн бұрын

Terrence Blanchard a genuis.

@patricialewis8307 27 күн бұрын

Love The Band And ALL Guest Performers ❤

@InksplatOops 27 күн бұрын

The pigeon! 😂 It must be so confused, wondering what happened.

@DanieltheTruebadour 27 күн бұрын

That intro never gets old - not to me, anyway. Occasional genius, even. Kudos to Stephen and his terrific stable of writers -stable geniuses -for keeping it up.

@DissectGibberish 27 күн бұрын

I am continually in awe at how Stephen can say those complicated and tongue-twisting sentences that preface the "MEANWHILE" segment. Kudos!

@JadeValour 27 күн бұрын

Agreed 👍

@vintagethings9187 27 күн бұрын

"...spackle plank of news..." Every one a Rembrandt!

@lindsaypcohn5198 27 күн бұрын

Expressionist tweaker’s spackle plank of news could describe so many of our outlets

@Multichick 26 күн бұрын

2:23 - OMG, what is Heinz thinking? ketchup is blasphemous in chitown. 🤯 They best not try it at Gene & Judes... 🌭🌭 hands, dogs and ketchup will fly.

@matthewkasper2202 27 күн бұрын

So, the cat story, its so much cuter then that. Those cats are considered to be living assets to the government. They have free access to all government buildings and land. They walk in on high ranking meetings and lay on the desk. They sunbathe in palace gardens. They have their own staff to feed them and take care of them. There are like 12 cats. They have been spayed, vaccinations and all that, so once these guys die the law is no more but even when this government is voted out, by whatever means, the next government can not change anything about these cats. They have these rights no matter who is in power.

@vintagethings9187 27 күн бұрын

A lesson in the last sentence there for trump I think..... Thank you for the lovely cat story anyway, if you are a trump believer!

@smittywerbenjaegermanjensen 27 күн бұрын

Cats? I think they are spies ...

@user-yn7yo1co3k 26 күн бұрын

Cats rule ...

@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive 26 күн бұрын

And also, never pet a cat's belly. They aren't asking you to scratch it, they are stretching. If you scratched my belly when I stretched, I'd freak out and punch you too! Weirdo!

@brokenglassshimmerlikestar3407 25 күн бұрын

And when cats flip over and show you their bellies, it's not an invitation to rub lol. You can look but don't touch! Like in da strip club

@bleukat 27 күн бұрын

Previously with Krispy Kreme, one could could only get one at a time. You had to choose either Krispy OR Krem-y until now.

@BluntJoint 27 күн бұрын

Thanks Stephie, may you forever give us laughter

@CraigMader 27 күн бұрын

A height best described as glory...

@RenataKleinRK 27 күн бұрын

I love Lewis’s blue telecaster, wow that’s pretty. Sorry if it’s spelled Louis, I’m not certain.

@dianewilliams1125 27 күн бұрын

I'm always checking out what guitar he's playing each night! What a beauty! 🎸 😊😊

@cass_p 27 күн бұрын

Oof, don't give delayed passengers copies of "The Lottery" - you'll give them ideas.

@kconway2263 27 күн бұрын

I hate The Lottery! I was forced to read it twice, once in HS, once in college. Still scarred.

@leavingitblank9363 20 күн бұрын

@@kconway2263 Me too! Why do they make us read that? Every child in this country. And I don't even know if there's a moral to it. Don't be a follower? I remember the story, I remember no lesson being taught from it.

@babaganoush1775 10 күн бұрын

If I remember correctly, it was written shortly after WW2, when Americans were grappling with the horrors of the Holocaust. She wrote the story to hold the mirror up to the face of America, to remind people that evil exists everywhere, and even regular, " normal" people are capable of heinous acts when they live out of fear and don't question their society. Personally, it spoke to me deeply in high school and taught me alot about human nature, lessons that still give me wisdom to navigate the world today. Thank you Ms. Jackson 💜

@leavingitblank9363 10 күн бұрын

@@babaganoush1775 Thanks for that explanation. I guess as one who always questions everything, it went right over my head.

@DanieltheTruebadour 27 күн бұрын

The goat reminds me of a cartoon: Two fellows stand behind a deli counter. One is named Bob, smiling, handling a knife and a sharpening rod, Next to him, Chuck Is just standing there, expressionless. In the case beneath them are the deli goods, with one empty bowl, labeled "GROUND CHUCK." Wouldn't swear to it, but the cartoonist was probably Gahan Wilson.

@neebs929 27 күн бұрын

Best meanwhile intro ever. Legit lol.

@richardelliott8352 27 күн бұрын

shout out to trumpet players , a physically challenging instrument to play in the high registers that everyone demands.

@tuckerbowen4626 27 күн бұрын

3:40 "a runaway goat _somehow_ made its way to the ledge of a bridge" you clearly know absolutely nothing about goats, do you, Stephen?

@rileyfuckingrifle 27 күн бұрын

LOL. The writers don't.

@kitcobain444 27 күн бұрын

Well, tbf it was a bridge, not a mountain 😂😂😂 but I see your point!

@davewilson4493 25 күн бұрын

That brings back memories of a sheep rescue I assisted a sheep in. While walking back with a friend from a caving trip, we noticed a sheep which had walked out along a very narrow ledge with a tiny bit of grass on it which started at ground level at a large cave entrance in the form of a sloping-bottomed pit, and carried on around above the descending floor until it was ~30ft above ground level with no more ledge in front of it and no way to turn around. Thinking we should do something, we found suitable belays to rig ropes to, and I went over the edge of the pit trying to descend far enough in front of the sheep to not scare it but be close enough to grab it and let my friend lower me to the floor. Just when I got level with it, it got spooked, jumped vertically up in the air, spun around, and somehow managed to lend back on the ledge and run to safety. I get the feeling that if I hadn't been there it would probably have just stayed there until it fell off, but given that it clearly could get off by itself but didn't seem to realize that it could, I almost wondered if I should have left it there for the sake of the gene pool.

@lindaj5492 27 күн бұрын

Heinz feeding the homeless of Chicago?

@dactylntrochee 27 күн бұрын

The opener to this segment is the highlight of every show, IMHO. I think tonight's was stellar. A champ among equals.

@lady_draguliana784 27 күн бұрын

Steven's off-screen activities in Meanwhile Lore is becoming the new Chuck Norris Facts, and I LOVE IT! 🤣

@MarcKloos 27 күн бұрын

1:35 good pronunciation of Jan van Eyck

@R1ckDeckard 27 күн бұрын

We need more of the bands' performances on KZfaq. I'm sure many people would absolutely love to hear more of Mr Cato & Co

@raeganpagan 27 күн бұрын

no. we wouldnt. If only there were platforms to search for.... music... on the internet ...that wasn't this channel.

@richarddelconnor 27 күн бұрын

As a baby boomer, I must protect the tradition that ketchup goes on hamburgers and mustard goes on a hotdog.

@BuildinWings 26 күн бұрын

He forgot one detail of the Chicago dog - Vienna Beef dog. Sabrett's is an excellent stand-in for that, you just really want a strong SNAP.

@ebethlouise2201 26 күн бұрын

And the slice of cucumber! Isn’t that a thing?

@BuildinWings 26 күн бұрын

@@ebethlouise2201 Some places, yep. I like it!

@OriginalPiMan 27 күн бұрын

That vibe check is probably just a cover for bigotry.

@tuckerbowen4626 27 күн бұрын

probably not healthy to just go assuming that, even if it's almost definitely true

@benn454 27 күн бұрын

@@tuckerbowen4626But how else will he feed his victim complex?

@cherylmarcuri5506 27 күн бұрын

My 24 yr old daughter loves her "ugly Crocs". I myself won't wear them. They look and feel creepy.

@JigInsane 27 күн бұрын

As you can find in any respectable Chicago hot dog joint is a sign that says "NK17 - No Ketchup after the age of 17"

@chrisrj9871 27 күн бұрын

It's probably because your pizzas are 99% sauce according to Jon Stewart, so you have to have propaganda against catsup to save on tomato paste.

@JigInsane 27 күн бұрын

@@chrisrj9871 Jon Stewart can go to where the sun don't shine. Lol. Nah, seriously. We have more than deep dish, it's just what we're known for. Rather than that floppy paper parading as a pizza slice he likes.

@davidlundquist1979 27 күн бұрын

I absolutely hated ketchup as a kid. I have no idea what's supposed to be appealing about it. I'll take Chicago pizza over New York style any day though.

@guitarcd 27 күн бұрын

@@chrisrj9871 It's true; Chicago has the best hot dogs, and one of the most unfortunate things ever to be "not a pizza." (But don't tell them that)

@BuildinWings 26 күн бұрын

@@chrisrj9871 Stu-Beef never had a slice when he said that, and then recanted on-air.

@fairykitten1 25 күн бұрын

Dear Stephen, Please publish a book with every Meanwhile introduction you have ever spoken. It would be a fantastic book of pure poetry. I know I would buy it, and so would soooo many folks. Please Please Please!!!

@NewMessage 27 күн бұрын

Heinz comin' out with a popcorn bucket any time soon?

@DissectGibberish 27 күн бұрын

EEEWWW! Who needs catsup on their popcorn!

@krissykrupski4973 27 күн бұрын

That’s not ketchup. 😐@@DissectGibberish

@igorschmidlapp6987 27 күн бұрын

@@krissykrupski4973 You ought to see the mayo dispenser... you have to tug on it to get it to squirt... ;-P

@charleshash4919 26 күн бұрын

Sure! And the delivery openning for the popcorn bucket delivery unit will be placed at urinal height just like the ketchup.

@cannibalbananas 25 күн бұрын

That was a great Meanwhile intro! Stephen nailed it!

@paulwagner688 26 күн бұрын

Fire Shut Up In My Bones is an INCREDIBLE work.

@richardcontant4659 27 күн бұрын

Say what you want, I LOVE my Crocs. I have summer Crocs and winter crocks. I am almost alway in Crocs, and hope I still will be in 20 years. 😂😂😂

@stuartaminion511 25 күн бұрын

although they have been called "clown shoes". i love mine. (they are great for camp shoes) after a day of hikeing.

@ajdailey3698 27 күн бұрын

I always enjoy your lead in to "meanwhile". Have you ever wondered what Delusional Donald would have done with this on the teleprompter?

@dianewilliams1125 27 күн бұрын

Thank you for that image!😂😂😂

@anmnou 26 күн бұрын

As a Belgian, i am very impressed with your pronunciation of "Jan Van Eyck Gent"...really: Well done!

@shadrachs.martial2215 27 күн бұрын

Stephen's on fire

@dreamway9 26 күн бұрын

Good on you CBS for your apology. Good on you

@CyclopsWasRight616 25 күн бұрын

being worried about that goat being up that high is like being worried about a fish trapped in a lake of water

@nelsaf365 26 күн бұрын

Jan van Eyke followed by huffing out of a pringles can. That is high brow to low brow in mere seconds. I love the Meanwhile intro.

@peterwolf885 27 күн бұрын

2:16 Boston had their Tea Party, and soon the Chicago River will run red with Heinz, this means war!

@redofthewolves 26 күн бұрын

You're right, the Lottery was the funniest choice here. Great job

@Tonyhouse1168 27 күн бұрын

That hot dog is now technically a pizza

@solvseus 27 күн бұрын

"Pie"

@DissectGibberish 27 күн бұрын

It's something, all right! 😁😁😁

@tuckerbowen4626 27 күн бұрын

"Pizza? Now THAT'S a taco!"

@seileach67 27 күн бұрын

Wait'll Jon Stewart finds out; he'll go off again LOL...just recently I re-watched a clip of his anti-deep dish rant

@user-ff8vo1se8v 27 күн бұрын

A slice 😊

@mszoomy 27 күн бұрын

Nothing is better than a KK donut right off the conveyer belt, OMG

@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive 26 күн бұрын

Except, you know, real doughnuts that never get on a conveyor belt and aren't made of plastic waste.

@olistorm1 27 күн бұрын

You guys should really do a seperate KZfaq segment that highlights the band. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would enjoy it.

@jfverboom7973 27 күн бұрын

Each day on this channel has a playlist collecting the loose fragments of that day in sequence.

@SJC49 27 күн бұрын

Heinz closed down plant in Ontario. Boycotts forced them to reopen a small facility so they could keep the Made in Canada designation. Buy Aylmers.

@BuildinWings 26 күн бұрын

If only Hunt's made Ketchup instead of Catsup.

@ellenrasool-jakhel4132 27 күн бұрын

MISTER COLBERT YOU GOT IT GOING ON. THE. WHOLE "" BILLY JOEL. CONCERT AT ONCE. IN FULL. THANKS THANKS AND. MO THANKS..PEACE AND ENJOY..😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤

@philoctetes_wordsworth 27 күн бұрын

3:13 Screw you! I have joint issues, and UGGs or Crocks are the most comfortable shoes I can find. I am wearing UGG slippers, right now!

@keshiasmith175 27 күн бұрын

Thank you!!! They're a life saver for me

@rileyfuckingrifle 27 күн бұрын

Jibbitz are cool, cope Stephen. 😂

@vintagethings9187 27 күн бұрын

Timberland trainer style 'off road' shoes have a tough outer sole but are superbly cushioned!

@jandenning6992 27 күн бұрын

no glove. no love!😂😂😂

@merrygangemi 27 күн бұрын

Absolutely fabulous segment, Steven Colbert! Thanks!

@cheeseonyomama 25 күн бұрын

This was a particularly good "meanwhile" haha

@viddork 26 күн бұрын

So, the goat was safely returned to the Slaughter ..... Farm, I guess? (Nothing else comes to mind.)

@traceythompson1092 10 күн бұрын

Just missed Terence Blanchard at the MET! He is a musical GOAT!!!!!

@LeftyPem 27 күн бұрын

For gods sake, sell us a book of just the Meanwhile intros. Some of the finest bizarre short form comedy writing ever done.

@ChaoSMyth... 27 күн бұрын

Yeah spraying birth control everywhere seems like a bad idea

@brownkemosabe 26 күн бұрын

Terence Blanchard is an Icon!!

@tabsommer3532 27 күн бұрын

Love the lottery- Jackson story

@playinglifeoneasy9226 27 күн бұрын

That’s great, I missed it but adore Billy Joel and can’t wait to see this.

@shadowman7408 26 күн бұрын

Cerveza Cristal!

@68caribou 27 күн бұрын

:: I'm still waiting for a book of every Meanwhile monologues :) ::

@Vtarngpb 27 күн бұрын

For a split second I thought the guy portraying Roger Groundbeef was actually Brad Leone 😂

@terryt.1643 27 күн бұрын

Needed a laugh today, thanks, Steven and Late Night.

@willdickinson4177 27 күн бұрын

Groundbeef is honestly a pretty cool-sounding last name…

@aarondalton5054 27 күн бұрын

👍 for guest trumpeter Terrance Blanchard !

@darrowaajmi9135 25 күн бұрын

Great musician Terrance, blow that horn!!!

@jackieedmondson8422 27 күн бұрын

No glove, no love!!! 🤣😂🤣🤣

@playinglifeoneasy9226 27 күн бұрын

That goat knew what it was doing

@LGuetz 27 күн бұрын

Austin library has that story machine & I enjoyed it. Airports have water fountains to fill bottles so not the best joke there.

@mrhines3603 26 күн бұрын

THE LOTTERY!!! OMG

@voixdelaraison593 27 күн бұрын

According to the National Hot Dog Association, Real Men & Women don’t put Ketchup on Hot Dogs. Ketchup is for French fries, Hamburgers, and Tator Tots.

@xtifr 24 күн бұрын

And I'm supposed to take the word of people whose job it is to promote tubes of pureed anus-meat!? 😀 Also, "Real Men" (& Women) eat whatever TF they like!😈 That said, I wouldn't put ketchup on a hot dog _myself,_ but I'm not going to kink-shame those weirdos who do! 😀😀

@sharonmassey2923 25 күн бұрын

"I have lived with several Zen masters, all of them cats." - Eckhart Tolle

@TwisterTornado 25 күн бұрын

I have a cat that literally breaks up arguments. No one taught her to do this. She just jumps into the loudest person's lap and shows them affection, until they stop.

@sharonmassey2923 25 күн бұрын

@@TwisterTornado Ha! That's great. But being a Zen master would mean that she's the teacher. Arguments would also surely be upsetting her Zen vibe, likely her first priority.

@publiusking8004 27 күн бұрын

💯 no ketchup on a proper dog

@iamnotreal_kayla 27 күн бұрын

SHIRLEY JACKSON REFERENCE GOD TIER

@davesalmon2492 27 күн бұрын

Not since the great Ronnie Barker has verbal gymnastics been so much fun meanwhile is the best word stew on the net. Thanks

@businessmanager2780 27 күн бұрын

Hilarious meanwhile segment 😂

@stainlesssteelfox1 27 күн бұрын

Maybe the goat was actually performing a cunning escape plan.

@ladyjatheist2763 27 күн бұрын

keep your mustard, I'm with Heinz!

@Mortthemoose 27 күн бұрын

Not from that street vending urinal .....I mean dispenser, though! 🤢

@noelhutchins7366 23 күн бұрын

2:33 Chicago-style-hotdog ingredients are for crispy-fried-fish on a bun. A good hotdog just needs to be sizzling-browned on a toasted undersized bun.