Why is your comment in the bottom? It's undderrated. Lemme boost you up.

@@janewick509 yes boosttt

United States Congress senators and lawmakers when the kid has to go to school the next day

Yes

Better known as anxiety

Thankfully a memorial for them was already constructed sixteen hours prior to those twelve victims.

@@Ohflipsnap Thank goodness for quality American architectural engineering, capable of determining the precise date at which a memorial for a future tragedy will itself inflict tragedy upon others.

It was discovered that Dennis muñoz was one of the victims

DJDiggity but they never found his body :(

@@disastermidi1990 he also was undoubtedly the first

I was laughing so hard I completely missed that. That was hysterical the second time thru

Lol, that's the one that got me. They were so thoughtful!

It’s on point with actual Folsom

@@donsolos nice pfp

Ye

That's smart it cost more money to etch a name in a memorial than to execute someone.

You think like a politician already

Ah, the COVID 19 method I see.

@@joaquinsenn1154 no if he was thinking like a politician he would have bombed it to stop the threat from happening but killing the whole town to save the town

Using the nearby prison's "Mashinator"

I love this

Clever

What is an Ichijo Festival anyway

@@shadowivy333 is it? or did portal 2 get it from somewhere else? Like honestly i don't know.

@@moonlightluck-5622 None can say. There were no survivors.

Thank the Onion for this new avenue of possibilites

"We see all the signs now"

surprisingly I have. Like with the California wildfires they take about how before they start, they will have been preventable if the gov't does control burns

I have.... in a different onion story....

@@EShum "would have been preventable if..." is not the same as the concrete sentence "Will have been preventable".

Yea, the onion is satire home slice. Politicians also don't care about dead constituents... they still vote.

@@enclave2k1 I know it's satire

No, politicians ALWAYS take responsibility. They often have a press event where they take responsibility, and then they go back to the same as before with no actual consequences.

@Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez I was being sarcastic here. If there are no consequences, then you are not actually take responsibility.

Politicians claim to take responsibility as long as something is not directly caused by them and they don't actually have to move a finger.

ThePopushi this video is even weirder for me because I live in Folsom lmao

So is he.

and your body will never be recovered

@@Afiriss Rip my friend

ThePopushi no Dennis will be

"All of the warning signs are here. Now."

grammar at its best

1000th like

Went to the comments just to see if someone posted this 😂😂

@@sandrabard3677 the best part is that it's entirely grammatically correct

I will have had never forgotten this tragedy, when it eventually happens.*

@@enclave2k1 no.

Oof. As someone that lives in folsom, this is scary

@@k.i.c6463 I'm so sorry for your future loss

This did happen. That's what makes it so funny.

no it should of been what am i doing i cant belive i do not see this coming

“This disaster, will have been preventable” They should use this video for teaching English tenses.

Making empty promises is very realistic

Not at all, he will resign... along with a million dollar payout.

I love you 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I agree with the others, it was realistic

That was 15 years ago, when low level politicians were still expected to resign to appease the public.

F o o d

Nicito Sta. Ana you bet your ass it did lmao 🤣

Completely lost it at that

1:47

Danny Love yeah that one got me XD

"What will repairing the dam cost?" "You're looking at $50 million. And that's just for repairs. There's upgrades that will keep the dam working for decades beyond..." "Just got a proposal from the memorial artist. I'll show you the door."

Politicians in a nutshell.

Next sentence: "The memorial was built on higher ground that won't be swept away when the dam collapses."

He has a point but he doesn't have a point It's a genius comedy flick

Climate change in a nutshell

@Rory Spoons LOL2 you stupid bot

@@blank2588 or yt bugged as usual

@Rory Spoons Lol 3

Lol4

HYPOTHETICAL prayers...

SkySlasher The dam will sadly break any minute...

you will have my condolences

@@9600bauds thanks, there hasnt been a day where i havent thought of him

Try not to think about it.

You will have our condolences and hopefully they will get justice

I needed a good laugh

How about the bald white guy who said he'll take his own life after he survives the tragedy

@@detested2022 And instead of the typical "what have I done," he goes, "what will I have done?" XD

The way he says it too like he is so bitter about it really lit my ass up 😭😭😭

Catman r/Ihavereddit Shut up

@@TheCreationKing shut up nerd

@krepnata kadara I want x button but the irl and pluperfect just seal it I'm giving this a usual gta speedrun no button no cheat code perfect To top it of is to use ablative construct in german mimicking latin jussive is not present thi

Oh thats dark

Kid named finger

Good idea.

8 year old comment but im liking it anyway

Hello CopyRezo44

I'm an ESL teacher, too, and I was thinking the same thing!

@@wininspn we need more teachers like this.

lmao

It’s the card that says “Try not to think about it” for me 💀

That's actually legitimately really sad- out of the context of the skit, a child with a terminally ill parent could have actually drawn that

@@zurirobinson2749 that’s not where my mind went

indeed

It won't be too late for him; there will probably be help, assuming the crisis hotline number doesn't change by the time the dam breaks.

Those are auto subtitles

@@ijoinedthedarkside333 u a dumb ass

It’s a common thing for people with heavy accents

I mean tbf I prob wouldn’t understand her without those

I don't think people realise it's a joke. She's perfectly intelligible. She's got subtitles simply because she's not American.

I believe that is what’s being satirized

@@KingHarkinianMah21 Its also a reference to the St. Francis Dam disaster.

Bro we've got bridges from the 20's here! That's model T Ford era, built for model T loads. These same bridges carry Tractor Trailers dozens of times a day.

Not where I live. We have replaced plenty of bridges recently. Granted, incompetence led to the work taking five times as long. One project went through three contractors, leaving that bridge out for a year.

@@zacharyrollick6169 you say incompetence, those contractors' bank accounts say good business practice

Ah yes, the writers of this bit did indeed come up with this funny byline.

Folsom Jazz Festival is in Folsom though and folsom is above the folsom damn

More like British petroleum

And when you read some of the sub text: “CA couple spent $300 million on a research center to find out why their child is failing at school”, 1:54

The real things necessary to fund

Every government* Dont forget that just bc you live in America dosen't mean it doesn't happen anywhere else. Everyone's corrupt. We're just the best country so we get the most shit 😁

@@Jacob-bm6wb lol okay snowflake

Kendra Marybeth Davenport Maybe this week eh?

Though the dam memorial will be left in storage on high ground; portable and ready to be redeployed for that faithful day that is inevitable

Butch drought is over

2019, that didn't age well

They could have saved money by reworking the memorial for drought victims.

Article?

My sister lived in the area and had to evac if this is what I think it is

It was all the buzz for about 2 weeks

Oroville Dam in the same area

Y'all know this isn't real right? Like the Onion literally makes up news stories for laughs. I feel like the OP was being sarcastic, but I'm honestly not sure about half the people in this reply section

You're so right, I never would've thought of that

The most underutilized aspect of the English language 😂

They werent sure if Putin is *that* into American TV ;)

Oh wow I didn’t realize it was that old. I had thought they gave it that look intentionally

Crimea_River you’ve got the best username on the Internet. Here’s your memorial -errr - trophy 🥇🏆🥇

yes

Why the fuck are you complaining when such a high quality content is recommanded, even though is 11 years old video?

Poop so do I though...

Thought they would say “a classic American style because this will be a classic American tragedy”

I was disappointed she didn't say, "because this will be a classic American mistake"

Lol and she said it with her heavy Asian accent "this wer be"

Isn't it ironic that these quote is never been appropriate until this 2020.

Well this aged like milk

You deserve top comment.

Kirk Nix Dude, don’t be so insensitive I live in Folsom and the dam could break at any moment, my tragedy is not your comedy

Hhhhhhhh

@@camatzuma It will be, when enough time has passed

@@camatzuma it will have been preventable

It's really up there with some of the Onions best skits.

Peanut Butter pre-emptive F

F

E (is the letter before F)

6 Piece Chicken McNuggets good call E

E or D(on Keyboard)

Calum Cowan Agreed, the Onion is reputable, reliable, and none bias. That does not happen with the news nowadays.

R all onion things fake because surely these Americans is this dumb

Magma Fang this is a trustworthy American news network. It is one of the best and most reliable.

@@magmafang7187 the onion is also the fastest news station by far. It is currently the only one capable of delivering stories before the events actually happen.

Calum Cowan hahah yh I knew something was off but it took so long to understand what was actually going on

This did not happen

RIP speakers of Asian languages with no tenses.

Reddit user

@@siyacer Actually the run-down slums of Imgur but same thing

Or you could just set the comments to "Newest First"

@Martin we can see your corrections you know

Found the redditor

Dam*

Arthur E.W I was gonna say that but you beat me. Dam it.

My eyes flooded with tears.

I was swept away by that.

Like the inevitable ruins of Folsom

dark humor made waaay darker by circumstance.

@@ryanweible9090 satire is not really dark humour, in my opinion. Because the clip is not about the flooding per se, its a jab at how incompetent the people in charge are. That and the many people that are perfectly okay with living in this kind of conditions. And its why this videos get relevant each time "the onion predicts the future". Because it ridicules the ugly of the world. dark humour is more like "the great lebowski" where the protagonist gets in a progressively worse position no matter what he does. Or if you played skyrim, Chief Yamar z getting killed. "lazarillo de tormes" has a chapter where a blind person gets tricked into ramming his head hard into a post, and it comes out as funny because the blind guy was an asshole, not because he was blind. In "fuenteovejuna" they torture a mentally challenged person, but what he "confesses" is the actual funny thing. I get there are similarities, but its not the same.

And the dam bursting in MI was 100% preventable. The people who use to be in charge of the dam ran it at like 50% water capacity to accommodate rainfall. The state attorney in MI sued them for running it that low, the lack of water was harmful to the muscles. Because of the lawsuit, different people were in charge of the dam, and were told to run it near full capacity. Because of this, there was no room for overflow. So once it rained, the dam couldn’t hold all that water.

​@@jacobmorrison838 That, and the dam owners were cited by federal regulators SINCE THE 90s for failing to make safety improvements.

@@vittocrazi There are thousands of dams that are at risk to fail right now. Nothing gets done because it would cost billions to fix them and because many of them are owned privately which makes them hard to regulate. If America would stop putting so much money into police and military we could fix our crumbling infrastructure and the government needs to the power to regulate the dams.

MMoRPG 😂😂

If you're traveling on nearby Route 10 when it happens, I'll shake my head sadly when I read your name on the memorial.

So, um, did you?

This was 4 years ago. Please reply if you are ok.

Rest in Piece Bradley

Kevin Vang I don't think they made it

We will start always remembering you the moment you are gone :(

No, it still is. There is no such thing as a politician anymore; liar is more descriptive.

"I think once the massive death toll becomes apparent... I will end my own life. What will I have done..."

I will I guess

Thanks

You should visit there 10am 8/9/25

You scare me child

What

They are from the bearenstein universe, frankly, we dodged a bullet.

creapyalbinofish bearenstein universe?

XD

😥 And my hope for humanity slowly fades away

20 years of warnings...

@@vittocrazi And yet the dam owners did nothing but bicker.

*Imagine your dams aren't owned by the government-*

Hi, I'm from Flint and I drink lead from poison water.

The Onion were playing the long game. some day this article was going to become topical.

The Onion IS fine wine.

@Zaibatzu N Yay !! (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

Imbo?

@@brandonfoley7519 limbo

@@KianLeiner and @Maineiac fishing it means laughing my butt off. It's an alternative to lmao, or laughing my ass off.

@@brandonfoley7519 bruh you just replied to a 10 year old comment

@@pablo-gb5th it's the internet and it's timeless. it someone is wrong, they're wrong forever and it NEEDS to be pointed out TODAY.

me2

exactly what I was thinking.

Yuppers

What

@@johnperic6860 NOOOOOOO

Arruda it's Russia, weirder shit has happened over there

@Arruda Google is your friend. 2009 Sayano-Shushenskaya power station accident. A turbine that had been showing irregular vibration patterns for 10 years finally failed during a power-on, breaking out of its seating and causing a cascade of other problems. The power infrastructure in the region of this power plant was crumbling, and this plant that already had poor maintenance had been running the turbines at above-intended speeds to get more power out of them, to compensate for the lack of other sources in the area. The death toll was 75 people. And yes, the power station was a hydroelectric dam. Although it was the combined turbine failure, flooding, and opening of emergency flood gates that killed people, not the dam itself crumbling, the comparison is there.

This comment is going to be great in 3 months.

Sorry to hear that Michael. You will have never expected such a terrible event

Have you died yet? I haven't heard of any dams collapsing the year started.

We sure got a lot of rain this winter. How's your health?

@@HansLemurson He's swimming with the angels now 😢

You joking right?

That doesn't require large funding

@@johnperic6860 nah I'm saying is if they were all at the memorial while the dam broke, casualties wouldn't be as high, thus a waste of the memorial.

@@nikkisoos9907 then they will have had renamed it the Denis Munoz memorial

He will have if he does.

Bless you. You are such a wonderful person. Bless you.

A true hero in my eyes

Plot twist he aint being sarcastic

Ohio Interior Design i know you made an impact on the children’s lives

@Hungry Hungry Hippo Yes, they were definitely touched 🙏🏻

I live in Folsom too!!