I don’t care what the odds are against me as a black woman, I am not gonna allow anyone or anything to make me settle for less than what I deserve. I deserve to be respected and loved. And if the men of today ain’t ready for that then I’m good being single. Great video much love ❤️

This is the reason I stopped dating. No one is teaching men that sex SHOULD BE a Spiritual transaction. Most (blk) men treat a woman’s body like it is Exercise Equipment.

Sex is one way people try to distract them from themselves. The hurt doesn’t go away just because you look away. 20 years after this behavior, it will still be waiting for you to fix up on the inside.

I agree! I think sex is a spiritual transaction.

Any dude bragging on his body count has not come into realization of his manhood.

Yes that’s why I’m a virgin. People downplay sex so much this video was very much needed and I love to hear this from a real MAN!

This topic is what more men need to talk about. During a workshop I facilitated for married couples over 40 a urologist stated something similar. He said that erectile dysfunction in men isn’t because of physical ailments; it’s due to the desensitization of sex. As men get old their ability to perform relies more on their mental state than physical.

Recently I start talking to an ex from many years ago . After face timing he ask me to show him some private parts . I politely explain to him that I am not the person I used to be I understand myself value now. It's been two and a half weeks and he has not called me back since. Clearly this is a man that never grew up.

People look at me crazy even my therapist when I say this sex is sacred I'm not even religious

I have a male friend that is 60, never marries, no children. We were talking as I was helping him set up a dating profile. and I told him I felt sorry for him because he never made love to a wife. A woman that stood before friends, family and God and said yes, I take him. A woman who is your best friend, who loves you more than anyone and you also feel the same, a woman who will be there when you are sick, when you are well...Best sex ever is when you actually are making love.

“Anything valuable is not readily available to everybody” is so true and people don’t seem to understand that now. People really put a whole lot of value into sleeping around with multiple people and don’t realize how valuable our bodies and sex is, that’s why we were meant to be married because that bond between a husband and wife is spiritual and signifies being one body. Anything outside of that including being married to the wrong person comes with trouble.

Speak on it !!! Soul-ties are definitely transferred with all those Spirits being passed on and it can take a mental toll🙏🏽

I think we need to go back to the Bible about what sex was meant for. Because we first have to understand what something is used for to use it properly or to see it a certain way. And it’s a bit more complicated than just for reproduction reasons because people get married with the intention to not have any kids. One thing I can say is sex is supposed to be selfless

I fear today's mindset. I just heard that Missouri is trying to lower the age of consent to marry, to the age of 12. So what? 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, year olds are too mature for you?They now have standards? I was playing with dolls and worried about other kids stuff. For ppl to want to marry someone before they even become a teen is... there are no words to describe

So true a lot of adults are suffering from traumatic experiences from their adolescence and those experiences hinder healthy relationships. Also, self control is key to a heathy life.

There’s plenty of people that regret exchanging that part of themselves with people that didn’t deserve it. That energy transfer is binding for life really and shouldn’t be exchanged with everyone. It causes all kinds of emotional problems and mental issues because everyone carries their own demons and perversions that they can pass over to you. We definitely need to take sex a bit more seriously than just a quick way to get off.

I wish men would value themselves more. Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not that different. A lot of things men throw at women can be applied to them 🤷🏾‍♀️

This is true esp for black men. Had to walk away from a guy I was dating for 4 months that I really liked because he was too immature and Inexperienced in terms of connecting w women beyond sex. It’s sad because you would think at 35 men would have their minds right. Just his mentality about a woman’s virtuousness was odd. I asked him how he felt about a woman still Being a virgin n wanting to wait for the right man n he told me “that was stupid.” He associated intimacy n affection w just sex n showed no vulnerability unless he was trying to get sex. I learned he’d NEVER had a serious mature relationship. When he shared that w me, I thought he was joking but when dating him I understood why. At 35 years old the man had only had hookups and sex partners. I believe that he trully liked me n wanted to connect deeper but he honestly didn’t know how. He wanted me to stick w him n be patient but that meant I would have to settle & struggle w him.I couldn’t take the risk because a woman cannot be a man’s therapist. If a man sees ALL women as just sex at 35 ain’t no changing that overnight. He would’ve got the woman he wanted while I’d be forced to settle. So i walked away. It’s sad but as a black woman I can be real that ive rarely connected w black men on a deep level outside of a few because of this. It’s to a point where I’m questioning if men n women even connect on a deeper level or are our interactions w each other meant to be superficial.

A lot of these men got high number of amount sex partners. Got the high number by lying, using, and abusing women. Also these high sex partner men HAVE HAD STDs or CURRENTLY HAVE THEM.

It’s all fun and games until someone one catches a disease that they can’t get rid of

"So you just gone run the red light? Oh Lawd," Thanks for the laugh; yet I've always wondered how do men expect to please multiple women with the same phallus. Even more today, with what some men are being taught in the manosphere, their phallus is the "high value thing" which a relationship should be built around, and there's no mention of having a personality, how to engage in a conversation about politics, sports, books, theater, academia etc. The conversation is always centered on "I have a phallus and if you don't want to give me access to you; I have another woman who will replace you," and then when it's too late; those same men want to settle down with younger women because younger women have supposedly low body counts, but there must be regulations for women of the same age. Weird.

Using the lady that ran the light as an example. People live their lives just like that. They see the signs and pay no attention. Red means stop and green means go. That's a little obvious. Normal to a lot of people is on green. That's why you have to recognize where you're lane is and stay in it. Being cautious to avoid other people that will cause you to have a accident! 💯

"Discipline with your sex life, before you end up wanting to be in a relationship but you can't connect with nobody..." Oof...

Welp, watch what you listen to around your children. Take the technology away and give them a book. They are purposely exposing our kids bs.✌🏾

Correction: GOOD women out-number GOOD men 6:1. ☺️

Soulties; Are hard to Break. And it’s makes a lot of sense what you say…. And this probably why some men and women are toxic , Instead of Healing they’re having sex.. cope.

Ppl forget that its a big world outside of the States

That is why I CHOOSE to be Single, Celibate and at Peace. When I see how DESPERATE some of the women are it’s disgusting. ( SOUL TIES) The Bible 🙏🏽ATL

It's called soul ties. An ever person that person has slept with is now apart of your spirit. An your right. If they have hate, anger, depression, or an other spiritual issues they are now apart of your spirit.

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL BLACK MAN. Thank you so much for your positivity. There are so many videos of black men putting black women down. Brother, you are loved & so appreciated.

A man of integrity. Respect ✊

You right about that scare tactics. You can mess up and snatch the wrong man up and end up broken-hearted.

Very on point. Too many use sex to address other insecurities

If a man does not find us, we should consider ourselves blessed to have the time that we are given to work on becoming an even better version of ourselves. But even more than that we should be thankful and grateful that we have peace of mind and don't have to be fighting with those we truly desire to love until they are ready to give that same love back to us in return

The Shumake Way Everything you said in this video makes so much sense and I'm a 25 year old woman. Just by watching this video you helped me to see that subconsciously I was using sex to cope with certain things that were painful and that I needed to heal from, as well as using sex to show a man how much I loved him which wasn't the right way. There are many ways that I could've shown a man how much I loved him besides sex. Sex even started clouding my judgement to the point that I would miss when a man would actually show me that he loves me. I was with this guy last year was 2 years younger than me. Mind you he's not perfect but as of today I came to a realization that he actually was really a good man. At the time I just couldn't see it. Not to get to personal but today I was thinking about a time when me and him were chilling at a hotel and i didn't have anything on but underwear laying in the bed with my back turnt just enough so that he could admire my body basically trying to give him the cue that I wanted to have sex. As much as he was aroused by what he saw looking at me he told me to put some clothes on and them resumed playing on his video game. At the time I didn't understand and I low-key was very upset because I was thinking well if he doesn't want it from me then who else could he be getting it from? However it wasn't that. Today I realized that he told me to put some clothes on because he RESPECTED me. It wasn't just about the sex to him. It was more than that. Funny because you would think that men would be the one's who would be always sexually hungry but no it be us women. To add a lil something he wasn't the first to initiate sex when we met for the first time after 2 months of us talking on social media. It was me🥴 Sorry for the long drawn out comment but keep doing what you're doing brotha because your content is really gonna help the black community out in so many ways long-term 🙏🏾💯

It's OK. I'm not interested in any man from my past romantically and sexually. Thank you.🤗

Soul Ties are VERY real. The person who "took" my virginity gave me a "spirit" (he wasn't a virgin) .....She came to me in a dream, a jezebel spirit, and she told me that she was "with me" since the age I lost my virginity. I was pretty young, and I've been doing crazy shit ever since, and I NEVER understood why, until I had that dream just not too long ago! (I'm 39 now, and I had the dream about a year ago)....... It's NOT A GAME. I remember coming home at 17 years old, crying to my grandmother hysterically, because of my wrong doings, freaking out about going to hell for my sex life, not understanding WHY I was so wild. I also didn't have a great childhood. PLEASE, anyone who's young, BE CAREFUL OUT HERE. You do NOT KNOW the consequences of having sex!!!! Diseases, pregnancy, but also SOUL TIES that will make you do things you'd REGRET.

“Black” women out number “black” men by about 2 million. For some reason BM just want to say “women” and “men”

Great video! You always give wise and godly advice. Thanks for pointing out that $eX is more than a feel good moment but that it's more spiritual. Soul ties are real and can take years to get delivered from. Both men and women need to be more responsible about $ex period.

Everything said in this video is well articulated, it's an appreciated conversation.

Mr Shumake I couldn't agree with you more on this topic. Assuming responsibility for your sexual habits are a large part of healing past traumas, and preventing future ones sex (Spiritual Energy eXchange) is one of the most abused forms of spiritual exchange due to lack of knowledge. Casual exchanges can leave you feeling depleted and empty your body and essence are NOT meant to be shared with everyone thus you create soul ties

This is best, realest conversation on sex particularly in the Black community I've read. It's ironic what is used for short term bragging or "empowerment" is what actually destroys men and women long term smh Spiritual warfare.

Energy NEVER lies

I pray to God He blesses me with a wise, intelligent man like you

there's actually a study that says it's harder to mate long term with a partner, if you've had multiple sex partners in your life. so you're SPOT ON.

Boy, if you don't preach! Self reflection is hard but necessary.

This video is soooo on point!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Shumake, u got a brother who’s single & thinks like u? 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Men like u are few & far between.🥲

He's accurate, so many black men in prison or gay, or with other races.... so 6 t o1 sounds right.

Wise, handsome, and godly young man. His channel will grow.

This was an excellent message thank you.

I have been Abstaining from sex for over 10 years! WOO HOO!.

Exactly. Happiness isn’t being miserable with someone just because we feel we have a time clock

I truuuullyyyy hope that those who are watching this and are “triggered” should go within. You feel this way because you use sex to fill a void that is unable to be filled. I’m making a reaction video to this one. Appreciate the message

I really appreciate you making this video. This is so true!! Please keep sharing these truths🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

One of two ym I was walking behind yesterday, one point blank told a yw he was flirting with infront of his friend, that he wants to have seccx with her. He didn't have to offer anything and she requested nothing of him. He further went on to tell his friend that he cannot sleep alone, he has to have someone in his bed. This new generation of ym are deadly.

Every time I hear the numbers game...I laugh!!! The intelligent people know that they are not considering the LGBTQ community. Some of these men do not want a WOMAN🤣🤣🤣🤣

The happiest women are actually single women with a dog😂. So this mindset is ridiculous.

Excellent video on this topic. Thank you for calling out that LIE the immature males tote. Yes false scare tactic indeed. Also, yes sexual energy transfer is no joke. Awesome you put the real deal truth out there. Much respect to you. 🤗🤗👏👏😊😊

This is a Deep Man !!!

So proud of you. Keep going. ✊🏾

whole conversation was facts.. keep up the good work loving the vids my guy🙏

I'm so glad you spoke that! Sexual energy does transfer.

This is why I had to stop listening to certain people on social media because of the mindset it was putting me in. It put me in a state of scarcity and desperation. Once I eliminated those toxic videos and behaviors I began to realize that the key is to heal my heart, my mind, and not run away from myself.

Yeah its 1.2 women to 1 man. The numbers get skewed because 1 in 3.6 BM are incarcerated so that does tip the scales. With that being said, even if every man had the choice of 6 women that doesn't make all of them viable mates or him a good match to any of the 6. I wish ppl would just focus on finding one person to grow with. Stop trying to prove something to your middle school crush from 30 years ago, grow up and move on. You made some great points. Thanks 👍🏾

This is one of your best videos yet..Thank you for these words..You are wise beyond your years and there are people listening so please keep talking

A bro just found your channel I love your message and positivity brotha 💯

All Facts!

Black men absolutely love Black women. Not only do I have no issue attracting men, the men in my life both Black and non Black love Black women of all hues.

Thank you You Are A Phenomenal Soul and teacher, keep speaking this REAL TALK, it's reaching some of Us, Continue please Peace love and Enlightenment plus Many Blessings to you Ase

This is the first time in my life I haven't dated in a year. I sleep better and my mental health has improved a lot. The last time I tried giving a dude a chance to talk, I was playing video games and it occurred to me that I don't miss dating at all. I don't miss talking and getting to know new people in prospect of something deeper to happen to. I'm open to being in a healthy, loving relationship one day, but if it doesn't happen I'm okay with that. I'll prepare to a life to be alone, but I'm no longer subjecting myself to the very same people who give me anxiety. Dating gives me anxiety and it's just so draining. There's always some sick mind game they want to play with you. I don't have time or the patience to vet through every single one of them. The ones who want you dont even be your type or have a backbone lol. I love male companionship, but male company and intimacy is not that serious for me to date. My friend dates suffice.

So. Many. Gems. **finger snaps all day** For me, these understandings really have come into my consciousness, the longer I have been out of the wilderness and married and we're raising our daughter and son in a calm family life environment. You don't lose the memories of those toxic encounters from a time way back when you were living the YOLO life. They just hang around in your mind waiting to be triggered.

Yes love the wisdom thank you for fresh perspective and never bashing just speaking truth 👍

KZfaq was spot on! Keep ‘em coming!

Did you guys see that Kevin Samuels passed away? I’m waiting on the video on that because people have a lot to say about it. I’m so curious 🤔

Wise words!

Thank you for this video!

Great topic thanks for sharing with us

Just talking about this today. Great minds think alike. Lol😀

Where do ppl get the women out number men stat? It’s nearly 50/50 in the world…

I wish i'd see a lot of men commenting on this vidoe, it's mostly women who are listening to these things and learning, I wish men can learn, we need them too but if they never do I guess we gatta continue without them as we are already doing

Still waiting on the next video bro!

Biblical talk right here

Wise🙏🏾

Great video. You're sure right.

So you just gonna run the red light. 🤣 I have to say you perspective made real sense to me not just how my husband has been affected but my own trauma. Thanks. Keep doing what you do.

3 black women :1 black man is the ratio for black people in the US. There are 2 million more black women in the US due to the morality rates of black men. The 51% is the overall world population and it is not accurate for every country.

True stuff.

Good stuff!

If a man says sex don’t matter, he must men sex with a woman doesn’t matter and he is probably DL. Sex definitely matters when it comes to men.

Mr. Rhythms good advice. Don't let your 🍌/🐈 ruin your life!! I took that advice to heart when I was a child!!!!! I guess a lot of people missed that lesson😑

Preach

Good stuff

Bro you should be a therapist for men I swear

She get your DA you get her sprit spiritual connection

You kno we are all waiting on you take on Mr. Samuels lol

Hey Bro 💯

The essence of a woman is her sex ( and all that it entails). I wont share how long it has been for me, but with my sexual essence , comes my power; that is true for any woman. My Essence is fuel for my partner. With a woman a man will obtain his (power ) and his rest. Carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders is tiring for a man, but any woman worth her salt he knows his( wife) will recharge his battery. A girlfriend's battery shelf life is like buying your batteries at the discount Dollar store.

Hey, Shumake 🙂

As a male sex doesn't feel good. It's just a job that someone gets the reward.

Referring to the part about sleeping with 100 people…. Does unprotected vs protected matter ?