Milton Jones' BEST One Liners | Stand-Up Spotlight Compilation

Milton Jones' BEST One Liners | Stand-Up Spotlight Compilation | Jokes On Us

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Күн бұрын

A joke-packed compilation of The King of Puns - Milton Jones 👑 from almost every single episode of Mock The Week in which he makes an appearance. A true national treasure and one of the reasons the person writing this began their love for comedy (hence making the edit in the first place).
00:00 - Health (Series 8, Episode 1)
01:04 - Family (Series 9, Episode 1)
02:52 - Travel (Series 10, Episode 1)
04:19 - Entertainment (Series 10, Episode 4)
05:37 - Food (Series 10, Episode 5)
07:04 - Careers (Series 10, Episode 10)
08:44 - Relatives (Series 11, Episode 2)
09:58 - Nationality (Series 11, Episode 4)
11:24 - Employment (Series 11, Episode 5)
12:55 - Family (Series 11, Episode 8)
14:29 - Entertainment (Series 14, Episode 2)
15:48 - Work (Series 14, Episode 5)
17:17 - Medicine (Series 14, Episode 7)
18:29 - Transport (Series 14, Episode 11)
19:56 - Music (Series 15, Episode 3)
21:18 - Jobs (Series 15, Episode 6)
23:04 - Shopping (Series 15, Episode 7)
24:40 - Transport (Series 15, Episode 10)
25:53 - Safety (Series 16, Episode 7)
27:30 - School (Series 16, Episode 11)
28:54 - Transport (Series 17, Episode 2)
30:10 - History (Series 17, Episode 4)
31:41 - Travel (Series 17, Episode 8)
32:57 - Parenthood (Series 18, Episode 4)
34:31 - Shopping (Series 18, Episode 6)
35:38 - Communication (Series 18, Episode 10)
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#JokesOnUs #Comedy #StandUp #MiltonJones #MockTheWeek

Пікірлер: 604

@barryvyner1161 3 ай бұрын

There's amusing, there's funny, there's hilarious and then, several thousand feet above all of that is Milton Jones. Genius.

@ordinarybear7037 3 ай бұрын

If you latin-ise it you willl see more in what is SAID !! Regards good One & All

@davidscott1052 3 ай бұрын

Don't forget the other one liner king ..Gary Delaney

@ferise1 3 ай бұрын

Not funny

@tom.tom501 3 ай бұрын

@@ordinarybear70370😊❤

@mylovesongs2429 3 ай бұрын

@@ordinarybear7037iloilo olOhio 3:15 >

@Showmetheevidence- 3 ай бұрын

I think his “my other grandfather” routine is one of his best 😂

@jmcallion2071 3 ай бұрын

A great comedian who can do comedy without crude language!

@biggusdickus5986 Ай бұрын

Yep very hard to do nowadays.

@gordonmcmillan4709 3 ай бұрын

"Downhill very quickly" is one of the cleverest things I've ever heard.

@universalfleece 3 ай бұрын

LOL..I just made this comment and then found your comment 👌🤣 His greatest ever gag is his hangman joke in Lion Whisperer

@gordonmcmillan4709 3 ай бұрын

@@universalfleece Ta, I'll go have a look.

@tomharrison1849 2 ай бұрын

I think you need to get out more.

@David-hq4lq Ай бұрын

@@tomharrison1849 Iwas just about to type your exact words !

@markglass9123 3 ай бұрын

I can enjoy hearing the same jokes from Milton at least as many times as his number of grandfathers.

@lisamccarthy6969 3 ай бұрын

Me too...😂😂😂😂😂😂

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 ай бұрын

How many grandfather's does he have? I've tried to work it out, but I soon lost count.

@markglass9123 3 ай бұрын

@@AnneDowson-vp8lg The longer he keeps performing, the more new grandfathers he will describe. No other limit on the number that may yet emerge. Thankfully.

@JK-ox8vn 2 ай бұрын

My other grandfather disagrees

@ivaneames4354 3 ай бұрын

I don't think any of his jokes will ever beat the absolute gem he did in one of the 'Scenes We'd Like to See': "This dish is so simple anyone can make it. You can't, Beatrice. Sorry, you can't beat rice!" Classic.

@AngelicusImmortus 3 ай бұрын

There is an outtake where Dara has lost his earpiece and makes a comment about getting old he thought he was getting deaf Milton says "you'll be losing your hair next" and Dara misses it but it gives Hugh the giggles.

@pwuk 3 ай бұрын

They're all good, my favourite is "ABBAs greatest hits", something like unusual Christmas gifts .

@ghomerhust 3 ай бұрын

ive seen some of his open stand-up, and he weaves his one liners into a full blown story. milton is a brilliant comic!!

@bensheekey1399 3 ай бұрын

Love his deadpan delivery. The king of dad jokes

@MrDaiseymay 3 ай бұрын

I always felt sorry for the other's, standing there trying not to grit their teeth.

@KAF128 2 ай бұрын

@@MrDaiseymay actually, I've heard them say that Milton's material causes most delays in filming because the others can't stop laughing

@CasaErwin 2 ай бұрын

When I first read this comment I thought it said "The king of bad jokes."

@movarvo1217 Ай бұрын

My 15 Yr old daughter does not concur....today's youth ehh..

@biggusdickus5986 Ай бұрын

@@CasaErwinShould have gone to Specsavers, they do deaf aids as well now, thats true by the way.

@aaronpincus6095 3 ай бұрын

Milton's 'Call Back' to other comics jokes is hilarious. They don't show them here but we all know them. "Goes Strawberry' is my favorite.

@ThatCoalSoul 3 ай бұрын

They're more 'quick-time~references' and you're not the flavour of the comedy night if you do them ...I speak from particular experience.

@ghomerhust 3 ай бұрын

watched an Apollo special of his, laughed for 20 minutes straight. he tied his one liners together with silken thread, and then unleashed it on the audience. absolutely brilliant. to the people who don't get his comedy, it's more layers deep than you can comprehend.

@seanhuxter6724 3 ай бұрын

“My uncle worked at the security desk at the o2 arena…”

@goldenagenut Ай бұрын

He has you laughing before telling the first joke, and the laughter doesn't stop! 😂

@comedyfish 3 ай бұрын

I first saw Milton at the comedy store like 30 years ago - he did that lard downhill joke and I’ve never forgotten it. One of the most amazing jokes I’ve ever heard even now.

@jfern1969 2 ай бұрын

Yes, that's the one joke I can never forget 😊

@hawkpaul8735 3 ай бұрын

A comedy genius. He makes it look so easy.

@Anglomachian 2 ай бұрын

The genius of Milton is all in the delivery.

@jestermoon 2 ай бұрын

35:45 💯 😂

@shanefoy3720 Ай бұрын

His face helps, too 😂😂

@pdrg Ай бұрын

Honestly I think most of it is in the material - a trove of great one-liners

@ordinarybear7037 Ай бұрын

No its the complete package.....

@EponaDreams-AmbientDreamscapes 3 ай бұрын

Saw Milton at a comedy club around 10 years ago, and this joke cracked me up... After 9 days of walking to Torquay with my 7 year old nephew I suddenly realised that what he really wanted for his birthday was a walkie-talkie

@gkm3838 3 ай бұрын

What a funny guy. I've never seen him before. Probably because I'm blind.

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 ай бұрын

That's exactly his sense of humour.

@zorankp 3 ай бұрын

You should see someone about that mate.

@adreenal 3 ай бұрын

Christ! I didn’t see that one coming!

@biggusdickus5986 Ай бұрын

I think you're bluffing about being blind,... Geddit ? Blindmans Bluff ah c'mon 😂

@lorenanders702 Ай бұрын

I see what you mean!

@INKI_teh_Rogue 2 ай бұрын

I love how everyone always focuses in for Milton 🤣🤣🤣

@CaptainSpock1701 3 ай бұрын

I can remember every single joke that he tells in this video... as he is busy telling them... Then it's gone! How he remembers all at the drop of a hat is beyond me!

@coolcat6103 3 ай бұрын

Lmao he doesn’t!! It’s all scripted, everything is weeks in advance and he has tons of co writers…..how people think this live off the top of his head is beyond me

@tomharrison1849 3 ай бұрын

Rubbish @@coolcat6103

@biggusdickus5986 Ай бұрын

@@coolcat6103Think you missed his point, he still has to remember them on the day, besides which I've seen him in Wales and he improvised all night. I think you're just projecting. 😅

@coolcat6103 Ай бұрын

@@biggusdickus5986 projecting what?

@tomellis4750 Ай бұрын

Lovely to see the other comedians appreciate a master at work.

@tompage6421 3 ай бұрын

Just like Tommy Cooper. Gets a laugh before he opens his mouth. Class. 👍🇬🇧

@derekday4832 2 ай бұрын

Tommy Cooper. Now there's a funny man who never corpsed on stage.

@biggusdickus5986 Ай бұрын

@@derekday4832he missed his last curtain call 😂

@Burnersforvanlife 20 күн бұрын

Compared to Tommy this guy is funny, but not as funny.

@universalfleece 3 ай бұрын

That downhill pretty quickly joke is one of the greatest ever 👌👌🤣🤣

@waynecarter2169 2 ай бұрын

The joke about his family of Jeans not getting into the nightclub was brilliant. I love the fact that he paused and let the audience assume that they knew the punchline, thinking it was going to "sorry, no jeans" and then he switched it up to "you're all wearing trainers" 😆😆😆

@hennersss Ай бұрын

Yeja it's a very old technique, but a good one

@juancardona9440 2 ай бұрын

The topic is safety….brilliant! 😂 I’m in the U.S. and never heard of Milton Jones before. He has the face of Al Bundy and the wit of Robin Williams. Absolutely genius!

@bl3df0rdays Ай бұрын

Yes, he does have an Al Bundy look about him.

@NiToNi2002 Ай бұрын

Inspired by the great Steven Wright 😉

@loridancer9378 2 ай бұрын

I like that the other comedians seem to relax a bit and just enjoy the heck out of Milton; he's like a treat for them 😊 🎉

@dabedwards 3 ай бұрын

The master of the dry left field gag. When I saw him in Glasgow, he apologised that he had not had time to change because he had only just arrived from the train station. He was wearing a magician's cloak and a turban with a large ostrich feather.

@Bigkevy1970 3 ай бұрын

Love Milton Jones. Absolute genius!!

@scottlarocca 3 ай бұрын

25:54 Milton's response to "Safety" is priceless 😂

@nicholasturton9267 3 ай бұрын

One of his best jokes for me is the one where he took his wife to an orchard for her birthday only to find out what she really wanted was an apple watch

@jonny5352 3 ай бұрын

Saw Milton a few years ago and he did a joke for a guy at the front in a wheelchair, he said did you hear about that pub that's only for people in wheelchairs? It's called the over developed arms lol.

@juskahusk2247 Ай бұрын

His grandfather was a G.I. and in the RAF and was a submariner. After the war he opened a pub called The Combined Arms.

@cryptogcrypto Ай бұрын

The guy thought it was wheelie good

@juskahusk2247 Ай бұрын

Did you hear about the pub with no chairs? It's called the Stand and De-Liver.

@user-jn1ot1db5p 3 ай бұрын

Russel Howard looks on thinking I could never be this funny … and Russell you are correct

@nonesterj8152 3 ай бұрын

Oh dear, I have a really bad cough and I shouldn’t have watched this. I’ve coughed so hard I can’t swallow. So funny 😂

@catherinewilliams3850 3 ай бұрын

Your not alone, just lauhged myself to an asthma attack😂

@steveelliott5643 3 ай бұрын

you ve bin married too long,thats all love

@JK-ox8vn 2 ай бұрын

Always gets a laugh simply for walking to the microphone. Because punters know he's funny.

@Sequekhan Ай бұрын

Could also be the wild static hair style and stare combo

@keefsmiff 3 ай бұрын

it's the lard gag that gets me every time pmsl

@craigfowler7098 3 ай бұрын

The hosepipe ban hit us hard - lol

@johnsutherland6808 2 ай бұрын

I love this guy, he could read the phone book and have me in tears, in fact I'm half pished and half way there, so talented, pure dead, brilliant

@AngelicusImmortus 2 ай бұрын

i love how he makes Ed Gamble both panic & break in the prat fall for "safety"

@mattdl1983 3 ай бұрын

Every time he steps up, the audience are giggling in anticipation and he never fails to deliver.

@Scribble336 3 ай бұрын

Taped laughter.😂

@worstuserever 3 ай бұрын

@@Scribble336Not true, live audience right there in the studio.

@Scribble336 3 ай бұрын

@@worstuserever I get that but nearly all TV shows have taped laughter even with audiences.

@edopronk1303 3 ай бұрын

@@Scribble336that would be interesting why they only do it for Milton. I know about QI that Jimmy Car said that the audience there laughed so much that people at home think it's a laugh track but it isn't. Life audience laughs more than homeviewers would expect.

@astrecks 3 ай бұрын

@@Scribble336 British audiences don't need prompting with taped laughter! That's a US thing.

@ianstewart6021 3 ай бұрын

I love the reactions of the other comedians laughing. What a class act!

@danielblaxill7649 3 ай бұрын

You know you have it when the crowd laughs before you even open your mouth. Pure genius

@user-wm3bf7pi3u 3 ай бұрын

Said the light house keeper.

@ianhowlett4682 3 ай бұрын

6:56 Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels is my all-time favourite joke!

@AngelicusImmortus 3 ай бұрын

Love the P.E. teacher gag, particularly as my P.E. tutor was also a Geography tutor.

@newforestpixie5297 Ай бұрын

so was our schools’ girls’ - Miss Mennie . i saw her after 30 years & she hadn’t changed. ( that’s a joke possibly but she wasn’t smelly…) 🙄

@derekwoods4026 3 ай бұрын

I think his PE teacher bit had a hidden joke. He says, "being a PE teacher," then proceeds to grunt like an A PE.

@remaincalm2 2 ай бұрын

Milton is best watched on KZfaq because if you're not laughing after hearing a punchline you can keep rewinding by 5 seconds until the penny drops. The issue is usually with the user, not the equipment. 😂 I love this guy's humour, clever play on words and imagination. It's still true that you don't need vulgarity or profanity to make people belly laugh.

@ridefast0 3 ай бұрын

Milton Jones and Tim Vine would make a great show!

@matthewmason3316 2 ай бұрын

Just come across this. It's absolutely brilliant. Very clever and very funny. Not rude and no swearing , how rare is that. Proves a point, though, doesn't it!!!

@SonnyCheung1 3 ай бұрын

Imagine getting your first opportunity to do the standup challenge and your opponent is Milton Jones...

@mariocurtis2208 2 ай бұрын

Every other comedian gives Milton total respect, because his humour is just so funny. For me I am imagining the 'set up' actually happening - hide and seek in the oven! 😂

@user-jw8ec1ug1z 2 ай бұрын

You are a comedic genius. Wonderful. Thank you for making me chuckle

@thomasbrown7845 3 ай бұрын

And clean. Proves you don't need vulgarity or nastiness.

@stephenfennell 3 ай бұрын

Yep, absolutely true. I've always noticed that with him.

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 ай бұрын

This is so true. Never swears. Him and Bill Bailey are about the only ones who don't.

@peterrhodes9209 2 ай бұрын

Tim Vine

@chrispetersen3151 2 ай бұрын

Fuck that bullshit.

@gwauk205 Ай бұрын

It’s fu@king hilarious isn’t it…

@liamrowbotham2069 3 ай бұрын

This guy is so clever and downright hilarious hes like our generation of tommy cooper him and tim vine are unique

@Golo1949 3 ай бұрын

Believe it i have never heard of this guy, he is BRILLIANT. Definitely be looking out for him in the future.

@Hereford1642 3 ай бұрын

Go searching for his radio series as broadcast on radio 4.

@diannebrook7183 Ай бұрын

I'm currently listening to his podcast series 😅😅😅

@johnwickenden5643 3 ай бұрын

Best comedian I've ever heard, brilliant delivery, incredible jokes, and I like the fact they're clean. Well done ! Much appreciated.

@daevanpatel4207 2 ай бұрын

Milton is the only comedian who is worth this comment hats off hands down he always makes me laugh . Thank you Milton Jones 😂😂

@ShakilAhmed-qd3vc 3 ай бұрын

I have watched this numerous times, this guy is superb, straight faced! Mr Milton you are one of a kind,keep it up! Bless you and your Entire Family and All the One's from The Auctioneering Background, Over there,there,!

@1710brett 3 ай бұрын

I love Milton jones he's hilarious

@soullessbunny666 3 ай бұрын

He doesn't even have to say anything and I'm laughing!

@gullybull-rx2ng 3 ай бұрын

I DONT KNOW HOW HIS BRAIN WORKS BUT ITS GENIUS

@rootytuners 3 ай бұрын

The “O2 security guard” gag doesn’t make sense without the rest of the show.

@ghomerhust 3 ай бұрын

his real gift is those long running gags. his actual shows will tie early jokes to the later ones in very clever ways. he's one of the best one-liner comedians out there. absolutely brilliant.

@Mayaman67 3 ай бұрын

That's why I didn't get it

@OldMod67 3 ай бұрын

Never watched Mock The Week. This guy's one liners are amazing!

@leonboois5414 3 ай бұрын

I have no idea how this clip appeared in my video feed, but I have been enjoying it since this morning before going off to work! What a serendipitous find! My favourite was the mother telling the kids that a train was coming. On a different note, where did he buy all those psychedelic outfits of the hippie and disco eras?

@streetsoundselectro124 3 ай бұрын

How's your lucky pencil case now then! Still makes me laugh

@malcolmdale9607 3 ай бұрын

And not a single swear-word. Proof that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

@ryanhenro7649 3 ай бұрын

Never gets old 😂...brilliant stuff !!

@MATT-xv4bh 3 ай бұрын

Me wife and I nearly cacked ourselves laughing last night.

@catherinewilliams3850 3 ай бұрын

The amazing mind of Milton, love this guy he's so quick with these one, liners on' 'Mock the week'.

@briannewman9285 3 ай бұрын

His effortless humor reminds me of Robin Williams when RW wasn’t snorting coke.

@257ian 3 ай бұрын

Milton is brilliant 😂

@michaeldillon3113 3 ай бұрын

I would love to see Milton in conversation with Tim Vine 🙂.A one liner off ! Surreal to say the least 😅.

@michaeledwards2333 27 күн бұрын

Seen Milton at the MICF a few years ago, laughed for the entire show, like when watching these videos

@jswaggart01 3 ай бұрын

Milton is my hero. He’s a funny guy but I really like his fashion choices.

@michaelhawthorne8696 2 күн бұрын

Old school comedy but no bad language..... great to hear....👌

@temuridev 3 ай бұрын

Legend.

@m.brizzy5407 2 ай бұрын

It's a pity that Milton's delivery cannot be transferred to British rail, then all the trains would have perfect timing.

@brianvaughan2312 26 күн бұрын

He was Bob monkhouses favourite. That's saying something.. 😂😂

@disposablehero4911 3 ай бұрын

That SAS question joke is so dang smart...and funny.

@grahambunton377 3 ай бұрын

Milton is a true comedian - one who makes you LAUGH. As opposed to just turning up like Nish Kumar [of Lords Taverners fame], Greg Davies, etc.

@RE7Hazuki 3 ай бұрын

My fave joke I tell people all the time is the lad on grandfathers back - going down hill quickly 😂

@truerosie 3 ай бұрын

Lard mate, lard.

@RE7Hazuki 2 ай бұрын

@@truerosie yes. Damned fat fingers.

@DavidMartin-gx8yl 25 күн бұрын

Undoubtedly one of the best one liners comedians of all time. 😂👍

@user-wp5ix9hy8c 3 ай бұрын

He is a good funny man i like his One liners absolutely fantastic 😊

@carlfrye1566 2 күн бұрын

Milton always LOOKS funny. Don't know if that is intentional but it works.

@smithasureshholisticnutrit6287 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for this...golden!!!

@ifstatementifstatement2704 Ай бұрын

This guy is too good LOL LOL

@williamdeluce5466 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely brilliant. 😂😂😂😂

@Plateaudweller 3 ай бұрын

Milton is awesome. So deep.

@malcolmclarke3033 3 ай бұрын

The man is a genius with words and expressions.

@ianhowlett4682 3 ай бұрын

8:55 I’m just going to pop upstairs - now that’s a good joke!!!

@VincentChee001 8 күн бұрын

He’s so good people start laughing before he even starts talking.

@robertheinrichvonseyfenste267 3 ай бұрын

UNBELIEVABLE.. the speed he finds his jokes...

@gwae48 2 ай бұрын

killing me. 🤪🤣 Best laugh in years.

@juskahusk2247 Ай бұрын

Milton's grandfather was a G.I. and in the RAF and he was a submariner. He must have been under so much pressure.

@AmyWinehouse9and14. 3 ай бұрын

"I'm going to skip a bit now" Lol

@ayehtunohn 2 ай бұрын

Still the king of one liners.

@peterjeffery1854 3 ай бұрын

Milton i have watched for years but funnily enough there are a few here i missed

@Nutmeg825 18 күн бұрын

Just brilliant.

@Chafflives 3 ай бұрын

He just has to stand at the microphone and they laugh. 🤣

@arejetko 3 ай бұрын

This guy is amazing - the British version of Steven Wright. Love deadpan humour.

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 ай бұрын

Never heard of Stephen Wright. There is a British DJ called Steve Wright, who retired recently.

@brianartillery 3 ай бұрын

@@AnneDowson-vp8lg - Steven Wright is incredible. Such a dry, deadpan delivery of stuff like: "I got thrown off of a bus, yesterday, for talking to myself... Through a megaphone."

@rxb364 3 ай бұрын

That was a great compilation of videos! ❤

@TheScunneredMan 2 ай бұрын

He's like Tim Vine. The two of them are kings of puns. Oh and Milton & Boris share same hairdresser, bet not a lot of people know that.

@sauleeYT 3 ай бұрын

Missing the great lighthouse keeper jokes!

@gumusluk05 3 ай бұрын

I once fell asleep on a train ! The bride was furious 😵‍💫

@5p0ng3b0b 3 ай бұрын

makes you laugh when you watch it again and you finally get the jokes you missed. makes you think how did i not see that the 1st time around ? some of them make you laugh the more you watch. shame the sea shell joke wasn't on it. still haven't got the kebab joke yet @ 36:30.