Ep. 1438: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jtelpsKWy5zeYmQ.html

You should never trust someone just because they are religious.

She's still living in that moment. You can see she's still traumatized her.

Okay, this happened to me too. I was 13 years old. Went in for my annual meeting with the bishop. My bishop asked me if I was having sex. I was completely shocked. I said, "No." He asked why. I told him I was only 13 years old. I can't remember what happened after that but I do remember walking out of the chapel doors and never returning. This guy was our neighbor. It was really uncomfortable and I was so young and shocked. How much does a 13-year-old girl know about sex. I wanted to tell him that I was ugly (my mother told me that) and my measurements were 12/12/12, My nose was huge, I had braces and I was really unattractive, I had a unibrow. It was just a shameful experience. I am no longer Mormon.

I too, experienced a traumatic experience. When I went in it was the bishop who actually asked me such vile things such as, do you sleep in the nude? Etc etc. It totally broke me. My heart goes out to you Kayla. 💕😢

I don't care if it is a prist, a minister, a pastor, a rabi, a bishop, it doesn't matter, never trust them enough to leave Your child alone with them! YOU are their parent! It's Your job to protect them!!

it’s nice to see the parents stand behind their daughter. often times the parents will be part of the issue because of their beliefs.

I remember at 12 being asked if I was into "petting" & I said "yes, I have a dog" I was told Not to tell my parents what was asked. But when my 10yo nephew was molested by my Mormon BIL (who was having sex w/ a 14yo Mormon girl) on an LDS Boy Scout weekend, he was thrown against a wall, broke his shoulder & was never taken to the hospital until he got home. Everything was covered up. The bishop & stake president knew what happened & instead had his peers Bully him. Just Messed Up!!

My parents told me that i probably made the bishop more uncomfortable than he made me when I told them about my experience. It's extremely validating to hear the parents' horrified reaction here.

No parent should allow their minor children in an interview without them by their side. No bishop should have it any other way. And those questions are inappropriate.

If someone is asking to be alone with your child, you should be very wary. I would say the only exceptions are medical professionals or therapists, but even then, make sure your kids know what’s appropriate and what isn’t. It really doesn’t matter how much you think you know the adult either… most abuse comes from family and friends…

Secretly record conversation with bishop with your phone and post it for millions to hear.

I was taught as a young buck sergeant in the Army to NEVER counsel someone of the opposite sex on a personal matter by yourself. Always have a witness. For religious leaders it's doubly important. Not only do you have to answer to man, you must also answer to God.

I can attest she is correct! I have been a victim of this exact abuse! My bishop protected my step dad, after I came to him at 15 about being sexually abused as a child. As a young adult I was asked incredibly in appropriate questions about where hands were, what’s parts of my body was touched. I was convinced by a bishop that I was raped when I went in to “confess for having sex” and it ruined my life for years. This needs to stop. I’m an advocate for this to end now.

Parents, please...do Not leave your children or teens with any religious adult, especially men. Many of these men are perverts. Well done for speaking out young lady. Those religious leaders have NO right to question any child. Also, do Not let your child go to anyone's home for Bible Study if you are Not there!

NEVER LET YOUR DAUGHTER GO INTO A ROOM ALONE WITH A MAN!! I don’t care who the heck that man is!! A Preacher, hell NO!

Parents can be so ignorant. No minor child is to be left alone with adults.

I had a similar experience at age 14. I was sexually assaulted at age 6 and had to rehash all of that and it was so cringey and uncomfortable. Both my mom and step dad were in the room thankfully, but it's like why even talk to the bishop about it? He shouldn't have to know. I didn't know him at all. I should have been talking to a licensed therapist, not a bishop.

I experienced something similar as a teen. I was 17 and the bishop made me come into his office twice a week (on Wednesday after mutual and Sunday after church) afterwards cause I made out with the guy I was dating. He asked all sorts of super detailed questions like where the guy touched me and vice versa and how many minutes for each part, and what it felt like to me and after 2 weeks of it I told him I was uncomfortable and did not want to meet with him any longer and he responded with "how dare you? Do you know who I am? I am a man of God. I speak for God." I responded that I didn't care who he spoke for. I never went back to church after that. There were a lot of things that lead up to me not wanting to be part of the church but that was the final straw.

I remember going through this also. It was extreme humiliation. Don't become a Mormon it will lead you to hell

Don't ever leave your child with an adult alone.That is the biggest stupidity of parents and the girl should have walked out of that church.

Yeah. I got loads of very inappropriate and frankly kind of creepy questions when I was interviewing for the Aaronic priesthood before my 11th birthday. I feel this so hard

I'm so glad to see that her parents are being supportive of her. That's awesome.

I love and appreciate John Dehlin so much. He is so respectful. We need more men like John!

I love the fact that they started seeing that it was a difficult thing to talk about and that they interrupted her to get her off that topic a little bit and then go back on that topic. I’m glad that they did that that is very respectful and I praise you guys for that.

When I was at BYU years ago I had my interview with my Bishop. He asked me about masturbation. As hard as this is to believe in this day and age, I didn't know what that was and told him so. He proceeded to explain it to me in graphic detail. It was beyond embarrassing and uncomfortable. I really think he got off on it. I eventually left the church. Too creepy.

All the LDS and ex-LDS women in my life had this experience, or worse. This is a serious issue that is not talked about enough.

Call Them Out !!! Expose Them All !!! 🤠👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Prayers going out to the victims 🙏

I went through the same thing, and it was horribly traumatic. I was never able to look at the bishop the same again, and even stopped going to church all together shortly after.

Being a lifelong Mormon and having my great grandfather be president John Taylor of the church, each Bishop is different. These Bishops have never taken any education classes in psychology, none. Never let your kids go to a bishop alone, ever. Some Bishops are good and summer downright evil. That's a huge problem

Mormon Apostate here. When I was to be approved for baptisms for the dead, 12 or 14, I was asked the same thing. I was asked if I have ever touched myself. If I ever had sex. If I’ve ever watched porn. The list goes on regarding questions I was asked and his response. And similarly, my parents didn’t know until I told them many years later. Hence why I am now an apostate and am going to therapy. I’m 25 now but it still makes me uncomfortable thinking about what happened. So happy to see others sharing their stories! You all are not alone. ❤

I’m so sorry, you’re not alone in this. It happened to me too

A parent should never leave a minor alone with anyone even religious leaders. Pervs come in all makes.

It'd be a cold day in hell before I'd allow any adult to question my child without me being present.

I am impressed that your parents stood up. Mine allowed the bishop to do anything without question. I got ex communicated and made to repent on an insane level for having an operation but the rumor of having an abortion when I was 14. My parents said nothing to correct it. I ran away very young.

First problem!! NEVER go in a room by yourself with a man, regardless of who they are.

I'm a member of this church and it's scary to hear this story. This happened to me too. All I can say is, the bishop isn't doing the best job by making you feel utterly uncomfortable. Usually, bishops are hoping to hear from yourself rather than your parents the sins that you commit so you start to feel full accountability for things that you do. That being said, I had a nice bishop tell me in a very gentle and kind way that what I was doing wasn't the right thing to do according to our faith. I'm really good friends with him still because of his respect for me and others. For anyone going in alone, I guess you need to know that the church allows parents to sit in on conversations like this...

Watch the entire episode on our KZfaq Channel. Episode 1438

There’s a creepy feeling in a bishops office especially these “meetings” my mom didn’t believe he would ask such inappropriate questions and wanting details. She said I was just imagining it. The first meeting started at puberty and he’s talking about things I didn’t even know about. The Mormon church loves gullible people like my mom. They had her going for decades (she joined the cult 52 years ago when I was 5) even at 5 I told my mom the church she was joining was not right, certain nationalities couldn’t hold the priesthood or participate in certain things. They think their Gods and even call themselves saints. One of the things that killed me the most is we had a Navajo student who came to live with us. (Indian placement program) She literally became my Sister, I learned so much from her about what native Americans had and were still going through. Taking them from their families and putting them in a boarding school (more like a prison) they were not allowed to speak their native tongue and she was not allowed to see her family except once a year, she lost family members she didn’t get to say goodbye to while at the boarding school. Mormons made it even worse by taking these kids out of their home state and sending them to strangers. They said they were trying to give them a better life but they were actually making many of them depressed. My Sister married another “placement student” and he ended up hating the western life he became a alcoholic and committed suicide when he couldn’t heal from the abuse he suffered at the boarding school and the Indian placement program. (He had also lost both parents while in the boarding school and was not allowed to see them or go to the burial. This cult is basically one big ego and it needs to stop. P.S. my mom remarried after my dad died. The man (Mormon) cheated on her but the church wouldn’t let her get divorced telling her she wouldn’t get into heaven if she did. She being the naive person she was believed them even when I showed her in the Bible it says the only reason for divorce is adultery which is what her husband committed but she was too scared. She also begged us to move back home because she didn’t want to be alone with him. She died broken hearted and broken spirited. They also told her she had to keep paying tithing even if she didn’t come to church anymore. They just saw her as💰💰💰

Had lots and lots of bishop interviews. Had to do the repentance process, and never ever was it like this . They didn't ask me questions like that at all . I didn't have to give details or was even asked about it .

At BYU-Hawaii, students on scholarships are sent back home if they don't pay their tithing. You have a meeting with your bishop and if he feels you haven't been paying your tithing, you get the boot. Its called tithing settlement.

This kind of heinous abuse is absolutely prevalent in this religion. These children are groomed to answer to men “called of God”. They grow up to be parents, who send their own children to be interrogated behind closed doors, and on and on. In what other context would we ever put a child in this situation for? I commend this family for their courage and strength. I hope more families, and individuals are moved, to stand up and speak out. I have great hope, that the tides are finally turning. The gospel of Christ is beautiful and teaches us to protect our children. Thank you to this family.

as a former Mormon this is one of the reasons why I left

I've had a traumatizing moment with a bishop back in 2017 that still sticks with me to this day. The bishop was my close friend's dad, so I knew him really well and, although he was an intense individual, I respected him greatly. At the time I stopped believing in the church intellectually, but I still was very tied into it due to the brainwashing, pressure, and denial. My bishop could sense it and would ask me to meet with him regularly. One meeting he saw I wasn't just struggling, but that I really didn't believe anymore. We were arguing about the truth of the church, and he got extremely emotional. With tears in his eyes, he looked at me intensely, into my soul, and said, "Corbin... if you leave the church something terrible is going to happen to you." That shook me. Something terrible? What does he mean? Why so intentional, yet so vague? What if he's right? It's messed up. I was still very involved in the church, so a part of me believed it. I know it's affected me because every time I think about it I get emotional. I'm still angry with him to this day for putting me through that when I was already going through the turmoil of trying to leave in the first place.

Yep this happened to me as a minor. How the LDS church believes this is not emotionally and psychologically damaging is beyond me. An untrained and unqualified adult should NEVER ask sexually explicit questions to a minor! Parents who allow this knowingly to happen to their children are just as guilty as the bishops and church.

I feel for her so much! Recently, I tried to joke about my experience with these kind of interviews with non Mormon friends and the looks of shock made me realize that we didn’t grow up in something normal or appropriate. It wasnt just “ lol isn’t this so weird?” For me anymore it was unpacking some feeling around having the forced experience of talking about things to men they had no business asking me about.

When I went in for my 12 year temple recommend meeting my bishop asked me if I ever did heavy petting. Being a literal child I said "oh yeah I love dogs" because I had no idea what he was talking about. It's disgusting

That’s what happened with me. It was very hard and uncomfortable to do and as I got older I realized what was going on.. it is disgusting

Remembering that all clergy except for the highest echelons are lay clergy-meaning, unpaid. And it’s a volunteer learn as you go efforts. My dad told me of an interview he had with his stake President. When this line of questioning came around, my dad simply told the Stake President “that is none of your business.” A 14 year old doesn’t know how to do that. Some of these old hard liners came out of a time when they were told to ask pointed questions. Our Bishop interviewed my mom and she objected as well. My stepdad had had cancer and had lost the ability to have sex and got an implant and my mom was Still younger and my stepdad was trying to fulfill her, but this was all very much too personal and pointed for her. The Bishop finally apologized to my mom and said “look it’s not for the church to have cameras in your bed.” There are a lot of nuances and lending dignity ways to Deal with things and this Bishop was a gentle, good man. In short, I think that a lot of people had alot to learn with staying in their lane when interviewing and realizing that human sexuality is is a broad subject without having to get into specifics at all. A 14 year old girl is discovering herself. I like what one child Psychologist wrote about all That-“leave it alone.”

Never let your children be interviewed by a priesthood leader alone. Always insist on being present. It’s your job as a parent to make sure nothing inappropriate is said or done to your child.

I've never had a Bishop ask for details in these situations, over decades.

Why on earth the parents let a 12 years old interrogated by a clergy and they just acting so defenseless ......can you just stand up for your family?

Thank you Young Lady. Youi are Amazing!!!! for bringing this to the Public. You are both brave and wonderful. God Bless you and lead you where He wants you to go.

I always thought odd that, in my calling as Cubmaster, we were always taught “2-deep leadership”; never be alone with a kid. Yet bishops can do this!

My father used to be a sunday school teacher (kids at the ages between 6 -8) and always had me or one of my brothers or sisters (all were in our teens) help him just so there can never be any inappropriate things like this happen. My father never did that kind of thing and there could never be any accusations like that either.

I'm horrified from those question's. A 14 year old should have never had to go through that.

my kids will never be left alone with anyone like this.

Thanks for this 14 yr old for her being brave to expose these devils, religious devils ,important for other girls 💕

Shame on the parents for leaving their daughter alone. NEVER EVER would I leave my child alone, especially with a bishop

This is EXACTLY what I went through at 14. The only difference is I was a Jehovah's witness and I had to be in a room with 4 grown men while I'm all alone.....I felt raped (after being raped as a 8 year old) and I'm still not over all I've gone through in that cult and I'm 52. These organizations destroy young girls and women and leave scars on our souls. You're not alone.

Dear young lady, congrats on the courage to expose this horrible situation of hurting your natural pudor. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and your family.

THIS IS TRUAMATIC EITHER YOU AREIN THE CHURCH OR IN THE CLINIC. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CROSSING A HEALTHY BOUNDARY.

Why is it that “religious” people are always the most sex-obsessed? It should be considered harassment to question a stranger’s child like this. The Mormon Corporation is so gross and corrupt.

Ex mormon here. Was one for over thirty-eight years. The church is ladled with so many wrong doings and beliefs and it is all accepted by the brethren as necessary and God approved. I am so sorry this young girl went through this. I know we are suppose to trust those in authority, but NEVER leave your child alone with ANYONE and I mean, anyone. If they do not want you to be in the room with them, then take your child home.

The fact that he was just digging for details and using his authority in the church to make you think you had to give them to him. That's absolutely disgusting

Never leave your child (male or female) alone in a room with a PRIEST or anyone associated with the CLERGY. Whether it be Mormon or Catholic etc.. You're just asking for trouble.

This happened to a friend of mine...the church wanted to interrogate her 12-year-old boy. She was not allowed in the room. The church leaders had on special robes. After 10 minutes my friend barged in, got her son and never went back.

My pastor used to ask me inappropriate questions alone when i was 14 too under the excuse of wanting to help me stay pure 🤮😑

I had a similar experience during boot camp at 18. I took another girl to the chapel. While she was talking to a chaplain, another chaplain wanted to talk to me about similar issues. He wanted ALL the details. I was uncomfortable, to say the least. A week or so later, we got to the psych evaluation. I told the doctor about that chaplain. I believe he was removed shortly thereafter.

Sexual predators in the Church. Pretty sick people running that joint. These Perverts need to be investigated and charged by the police. Asking a 14 year-old sexual questions is Not Normal.

I remember when I was in junior high and I was called into one of the elders of the Mormon church took me into a room where they had given the girls my age a type of diary book and I had to hand it to him and then he started asking me all kinds of questions and I was really uncomfortable and I really felt like Bob was violating not only my privacy, but I was fearful that something else was going to happen I was thankful to get out of there and I refuse to go to any more of those private meetings in fact I pretty much avoided going to church after that

My dad was a bishop… it horrifies me that he may have asked such disturbing questions and said such disgusting things to children. God save his soul.

I told my daughter when she was young that it did not matter what a person does for a living that you should trust them, so many parents are absolutely clueless.

💜 I'm glad she has the support of her parents. I literally have seen a whole family disown and ostracized their own son and chose the morman church over him because the church told them to. They treated him so badly that it broke my heart. I hope he's found his way separately of the church. It's possible to have a relationship (most times..a better one) outside of a church.

You can see this woman is still traumatized.

That should not have happened without her having an advocate present. 😡

I can remember when my now ex-husband interviewed to be a youth pastor for a small church in Pennsylvania. We were only dating at the time. The pastors wife turned around in her seat in the car (we were driving somewhere together) and she point blank asked my husband: “are you a virgin?!” I couldn’t believe my ears. He actually answered her, I would’ve said that’s none of your business.

Sorry for this lady. I told every priesthood leader they could ask any question of my daughter if they'd feel comfortable repeating it on a Police Recorded Interview. It shook them up, but I think they behaved. So I am passing on the strategy to as many people as possible. x

Our pastor used to call in minors to his office to "pray" for them and then he would touch them and I remember parents would get so angry if you refused to go whenever he asked and you would even get beaten up or verbally abused for disrespecting the pastor or not wanting to go and have him " bless you"

This was the first mormon stories i watched after having a lot of questions about the church and after this podcast I was officially done with the church. I really appreciated both of them being so vulnerable and telling their stories

Why would any parent allow their child to be questioned alone.??

This is why I say never leave your children alone! Always go with them or leave the place. YOU are the parent, YOU have to protect them, never let someone "protect" your child AND always listen to your children! So glad this young ladies parents are as upset about this and helping her!

As a male, I never got asked these questions, multiple bishops, multiple wards, these questions were never asked except by the authority members that were “playing” with me

These questions are disgusting and extremely inappropriate.

I've heard this kind of similar stories going on inside the Mormon church when I was in grade school in Asia, I'm 55 years old now.

Parents protect ur children. Never leave a child alone to be interrogated. A man is not God.

Even catholic priests may ask theses sorts of questions during confession and its perfectly acceptable, maybe not when youre fourteen, but many fourteen year olds seek help from the church, and therefore need to bring up the issue with a priest. Happens all the time, dont know how a question can be traumatic.

Thank you for sharing these. These kind of stories are so abusive and not acceptable. I think if you are never Mormon (like me) and you imagine something like this-it would just never occur to you that it would be like this. So I appreciate people being willing to share so that the public has more of an understanding of how bad it is.

I'm so lucky because this never happened to me. I found out as an adult that my sister was asked if she Masterb. She was 12, had no idea what that was and thought that it was something she was supposed to do so told the Bishop yes, all the time. Fortunately he realized she didn't know what she was talking about and she got the recommend.

That’s sick! I can’t image how traumatised she was! Clergy should never be allowed to talk with minors alone.

My friend at school was regularly abused by her dad, she was Catholic, she was asked all about her sin, and was told to repent, every time.

Never leave your young daughter lone with an adult 'bishop'. If he had any integrity a bishop would insist anyone, especially young and/or vulnerable people have a companion present to support them. Even more important - call the cops.

There are evil, sick people everywhere. The easiest way to get a victim is to be in a position of trust.

One of the worst experiences was being asked sexually explicit questions before being allowed to go to the Temple and do Babtisms. I was only 11 being asked these very detailed questions by a 40 something yo man all alone. No one explained what was going on before hand either. I was embarrassed and horrified and didn't even really understand why. Just overall awful experience. It really ruined what I thought I was doing to.

That she even had a history to talk about at 14yo is a whole other thang

Poor girl. This makes me wanna throw up.

The irony of the interviewer asking her to be more detailed about her father asking her to be more detailed makes me question the topic as a whole.

This happened to me as well. They give the leaders of the church so much unregulated power over young people especially young women’ who are made to feel subservient and less than, and then you have things like this happen where young women are put in dangerous situations. It’s so so disgusting

I hope she gets some therapy, she's reliving all over again

I still blame the parents , I was a victim of religious abuse