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"What was the most regrettable thing you gave up as a Mormon and what are you glad to have back?" "My brain" Great answer.

"What do missionaries leave out?" "Mostly everything." LOL

I have a lot of regret about being a missionary and convincing others to join, some who were teens. Most of them were in quite poor situations and longing for hope and community. I did truly believe I was doing the right thing, had all the answers and following the path to baptism and church activity would bring more happiness and success to their lives. I really thought I was helping them make a huge step in an eternal existence. I never ever ever could have imagined that I'd later be on this side watching something like this and commenting as I am. As far as I know pretty much all of them stopped involvement with the church, which used to make me so sad and feel like a failure when I still believed. I'd like to go visit them one day, at least the few I still keep loose contact with, and apologize. I've been too nervous to do so over the phone. Thank you Sam and Tanner. You've been a big help in learning how to be OK after all of this!

Former Mormon here. What really should be said is that the missionaries that you met were actually the ones that were brainwashed. I (regrettably) served a mission myself and taught what I truly believed to be true. Only to find out ten years later that I’d been completely brainwashed.

wow this is kind of relatable! I never did become a Mormon, but I felt drawn to it because I was very lonely at the time and revelled in the attention. I also thought the LDS church was cool and exotic (was also living in England) and my way of teenage rebellion and I also liked the idea of having all those clear rules and purpose because of mental health issues. I guess that's just the type of person drawn to cults lol. I am glad I never did become a Mormon though, but I could so easily have become. Being a lesbian, I was already telling my friends how the church wasn't homophobic but that I would just never be able to be in a relationship and that was fine. Now I have a gf and I drink lots of tea; life's good. this is pretty much a letter now and I'm sorry! love your channel

The first video I found from your channel was Sam's "Why I joined the Mormon church". To be truthful I was actually searching for testimony building videos as I was very rappidly losing my faith and going through a "faith crisis" and felt like I needed to reindoctrinate myself through the testimonies of others. Her story and the rest of the videos from Zelfontheshelf as well as some other fantastic youtubers and other resources helped me tremendously through finding my way out and more importantly finding peace and courage in walking away from something that had shaped huge portions of my life. I am so so thankful for that! Thank you for continuing to share your experiances and growth!

Is your friend (who introduced you to the church) still a member? What do they think about you leaving?

You said BIC and my first thought was born in captivity. That's how I feel though, as someone who was born into a strongly mormon family, and has to pretend to believe until I turn 18 and can leave. People like you two are the only thing that keeps me sane.

I love when Mormons say they wouldn't have crossed the plains in handcarts if it wasn't true, as you mentioned. They think they are the only ones that crossed the plains in the 19th century to get to the west.

Disaffected converts are next level, so accurate!! I was 15 when I was baptized and I was in it for 18/19 years. I can see what led up to my baptism for years. I had friends who were Mormon and I loved their family life. I felt like my family was so broken and dysfunctional and I wanted to be "normal". And I can attest to the whole experience of being loved on. Everyone was so excited for me and loved on me really hard my entire teen years after I was baptized. More than the friends I had my age, I actually gravitated to their parents more. I was craving intellectual and emotional connections to adults because I didn't have that in my family. It's crazy what we will do when we are vulnerable and trusting in the name of wanting to belong. I could go on and on sharing my story. You two should do a podcast and interview regular folks who can't get on Mormon Stories, lol!

I joined the Church in the Seattle area, early 1980s. The saying was: "Move to Utah...lose your testimony". So, I moved to Utah, and lost my testimony.

I just put my resignation in. I’m also a Brit and I was investigating at 17, baptised at 18. The missionaries were lovely. Too lovely. They preyed on me because I was vulnerable because of my mental health. They made all these promises to me, that I’d be blessed and happy. But that didn’t happen. I never followed the commandments for more than two weeks. I felt dirty when I had sex, drank coffee etc I felt like I was a bad person and that God was going to punish me. I never liked how my family wouldn’t be with me because they’re not lds. When I learned about all the anti Mormon lies. I buried my head in the sad. The cognitive dissonance was real. I felt guilt for being bi, like I was made wrong. That I was dirty/wrong. The sexual sins are second to murder. I will always carry the emotional manipulation and lies and fears with me. The church had damaged me and I only realised this when I put my resignation in. It all hit me. The weird shit wasn’t told to me, I found it out for myself recently. I saw the temple rituals online, I was never worthy to go through it and I was always upset by this, and I was scared. I couldn’t believe that that was it. I thought it was special and lovely, I was wrong. I’m so glad I never went through it, even though it still makes me feel bad and unworthy. I was drawn in to the church and I felt forced to get baptised. The more I stayed the weirder it got but I rationalised it and pushed it to the back of my mind. I was only fully active for one year, 2 years of mild activity and almost no activity this year. I went to church once and activities and I thought ok and I studied and prayed and it dawned on me. This is detrimental to me. I’ve been damaged by this it took me weeks to put my resignation in. I was scared and still am that they’re right. Which means I’m bad and dirty. A part of me thinks I should go back, but it’s not worth the shit and the manipulation and lies and abuse and guilt tripping. I’m trying to move forward, it’ll be hard and a journey but ultimately it’s the right choice. I’m free of those rules. I still speak to the missionaries who taught me, two are out and one is in. She’s lovely and accepts my decision to leave but I wish she’d see the light. I’m glad that I’ll be officially out of this church in July. On the plus side I never have to sit through 2 hours of church and like 8 hours of general conference. So dull. My world view has been shattered, the brainwashing is strong, I have mixed emotions about it. I’m embarrassed that I was drawn into this cult. My bf pointed out it was a cult, before I confessed to him I was a member, and I didn’t believe him. Turns out he was right. I’m excited for my resignation to come through, I’ll never be associated with a lgbtphobic, racist cult which was created t a sex crazed charlatan who married a 14 year old. If you read this, thank you. It’s quite long. I just wanted to share my story to let others out there know there is a way out. I was only there 4 years but I was just as damaged as someone who was born into it. Thanks for reading this. If you’re struggling with it, feel free to talk to me. I’ll listen and understand. Thanks again and sorry that this is so long. P.S great Video!! Feel less alone now

It's great that you are making something positive out of your experience by educating others with your social platforms.

There's a high level of intelligence, insight, and maturity here. I'm 75, and I'm hoping some of those virtues rub off on me!👍

I would love to hear about your experience of getting married in the temple

I also deal with depression and anxiety, but a lot of it stems from feeling like I can't ever do enough. I still struggle with this at work, but I also had it really badly while I was a member. Leaving was a huge relief for me because I didn't have to try to stick to some checklist anymore.

I felt like I was listening to you tell my story! So relatable in every way. Joined at 17 in England and thankfully found my way out at 23, just replace moving to Idaho with a mission. Thanks for sharing, love your videos so much.

Good video. Thanks for your hard work. You guys are pioneers on the internet for rescuing Mormons.

literally never stop uploading, never die!! you guys are the best. i love the provo videos more than anybody should and i love the bring em young rap i listen to it pretty often lol!

How do you guys not have more subscribers?!

I👏🏻love👏🏻this👏🏻! I love your Q&A videos. Do more. Also do a live somewhere sometime, and more guest people! ❤️❤️

You're so pleasing to listen to, not in a weird way. You're just very intelligent and good with your words. Also, I have OCD tendencies and it's very very difficult. It takes up so much of my day, just by counting, and it sucks.

There's no zealot like a convert.

The sad moment where you realize you can't blame being impressionable for converting at 24.... I converted when I moved away from home and into (what felt like) a completely foreign culture where the missionaries literally happened to be the first people to show interest in talking to me. The one thing that sucked for me is that for a long while, I sincerely believed that the missionaries really were friends, but even when hanging out with them as a member, they would always only talk about who is investigating, and whether or not they are showing commitment to the church/brainstorming ways to get them to come. Fortunately found my way out with new friends two years later. Thanks for making this content, it really makes a big difference.

I've been doubting my faith for awhile. I truly loved my religion. Losing my faith has been a grieving process for me. But their are things in the church that are extremely sketchy. With a heavy heart Im leaving my faith

Hey guys! Thank you. I love how Sam correlated her desire to join the church as a way to feel complete. Totally my experience as well. I listened to your poisoning of prophets video today as well and I have a suggestion. We hear about Brigham and Joseph's plural wives often however, more prophets that followed were also polygamists and married teenagers. I think that might be a good thing to bring into the light as well.

I'm sorry for the time I spent as a missionary, and trying to convince people with almost nothing to give what they had to a rich/greedy organization.

You guys have such good content I just found your channel today and I have been watching for hours. Please keep it up. I look up to you so much👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾💜💜💜💜💜

Great video! Love the salt lamp in the back, would donate but I’m broke af. But keep up the lords work👍🏿

When did I know it was a cult? Well, I was warned and read and...joined anyway. I knew the first time I went to the temple, and beheld the bloody death oaths and covenants and rituals. As I was leaving the LA temple that day I thought, "Gee, guess I really did join a cult." Stuck around for nearly 30 years of happiness. Only cost me $$$,$$$ and free labor and family and friends and... but getting better every day and in every way.

I really enjoyed this and found so many of your opinions to be so very relatable. As an Ex-Mormon who grew up in it (baptised at 8, yada yada), I found it to be so profound when you said that you most missed your brain and personality when being in mormonism. Individuality is something I've always hugely valued but was very discouraged and devalued within Mormonism. Thank you for openly sharing your journey.

I found out what happens in the temple from you tube and even though I’m not an active member my whole was blown apart as I felt everything I grew up thinking was a lie !!! I even went to the bishop of my local church and had it out with him and why the hell are we not told about all this stuff you learn in the temple he just told me I it was sacred and I shouldn’t watch it as I’m ready ( brain washed ) enough to understand stand I I would think it’s strange. Even my mum who’s not an active member won’t talk to me about it. I don’t hate the church and had a really happy childhood in the church but now know everything I thought I knew about the church was a lie and mad me really sad 😢xx

Super interesting. Thanks for sharing. Since I know nothing about Mormonism, any video explaining terminology or theology is interesting, or just about your experiences. I'm really enjoying you.

I just wanna say thank you for making these videos! I've been out of the church for almost a year now and it's been so helpful to hear other people's stories and perspectives on leaving the church. All of my family is multiple generations deep in the Mormonism and I'm in the heart of mormonville Utah, so I'm not able to talk about this stuff with them or many of my peers. Watching your videos has become very therapeutic with me so thank you for all the time, effort, and energy you put into making them. Keep it up!! 🤍

I really, REALLY hope that you guys can keep this going. You have some of the best content on the platform. Trust me when I say that Zelph will be the very first channel I support on Patreon. Everyone asks, j just haven’t found “The One” yet. Know what I mean? Well, Zelph, I think you’re the one for me.

Another great video! Good work you two.

Please please ask to debate or have a question time with Saints unscripted. They live in such a bubble and need to be challenged and you guys are great with your insights into the BS of Mormonism. I will donate 50 to your channel.

I studied abroad in the US and thought going back to doing homework in my 3rd year so weird!! It was literally like being in year 9.

Watching this gave me even more questions haha! For example, did you keep in contact with the missionaries? If so, what was their response when they saw you had left the church? Oh, and do they know about Zelph on the Shelf?

When did you go to BYU I? I grew up in rexburg and my dad teaches at the university. Gratefully I have since left Mormonism, but now I’m interested!

Do either of you still have enough of your programming left that you constantly have to remind yourselves that this crap isn't real?

Growing up in the church I just kind of always knew about polygamy. But you have to realize adult people are joining the church knowing nothing about polygamy until months or even YEARS after they join!! Let alone all the other shit. I’ve even heard of people getting baptized not knowing basic word of wisdom things or TITHING for goodness fuck. That’s what happens when you have 19 year olds scared not to hit their numbers.

I would love to see a part two all of this was so fascinating

Great video! I wasn’t Mormon but I was also in a cult for some time and the foreign factor is soooo real!

I'm in my mid twenties and was converted to the Church at 17 with no previous knowledge of the Mormon church or culture. I can relate to your story on so many levels. Thank you for sharing what you've been through, it makes me feel less alone in this and maybe even a little less embarrassed; i'm certain that a deeper understanding of neuroscience would help me to have more compassion for my teenage self. I also have the same exact mental health issues, went to a church school, and got married in the temple. Also had SO many moments of "this is NOT what I signed up for" and "this is uncomfortable but I'll roll with it and shove that feeling down in the name of faith"... It feels good to be on the other side with more wisdom and a greater capacity to love and accept different cultures and groups of people. I haven't seen many of your videos because I'm new here, but i'd love to hear about how you and your family navigated temple marriage emotionally and relationally. I am working through some... anger haha

Could you do a video deconstructing your patriarchal blessing

Love you guys! I’ve never been Mormon but I live in Utah now after I moved back here from Massachusetts when I was 19. 95% of my family are LDS and I would love to share your Videos to my younger (half) siblings who have been indoctrinated from birth. We are all pretty close but we just stay away from the topic of religion for the sake of our relationships. My brother is kind of on the outs but he stays stealth about it. You guys have given me a greater insight into their minds so thank you for that!

I don't regret that Sam became a Mormon, but then again I'm biased.

Could you make a video talking about your marriage? Thank you

Does anyone know which video they were talking about when they mentioned that there’s a scientific explanation for the feelings of “the spirit”? Thanks in advance!

24:25 that is exactly how I felt during my exchange in Utah

Really interesting stuff love ya from Utah

Part 2 please!!

From what I get out of this video - with consideration that i could be wrong - is that overall, the church validated a lot of childhood trauma in you and "answered" it subsconsciously, since you acknowledged that your OCD plays into needing satisfying, validating answers. I think it does that for many people and that's why they stay trapped. Mormons learned how to validate and use it to their advantage. The church is a validation/feeling manufacturer via using natural human nature to their advantage. The burning in the bosom is a natural human experience and something, as you both know, has a lot to do with dopamine. How you induce yourself to feel it doesnt make it any more valuable than how someone else would. What's important is feeling that and realizing it's not based off of being in a cult and it's wrong to threaten people that they will lose enjoyable fundamental aspects of their human nature if they leave. Manipulation.

Holy crap, after watching this I stalked your insta and realized I went to school with your ex! #mindblown

Found you today through an MLM tangent, your videos are great!

How do universities in the U.K. compare to U.S. universities?

How does this not have more attention?

Could you leave that article about the Holy Spirit in a link Sam? I didn’t see it in the description but I’m interested in reading it! Great video guys :)

I swear, every time I watch a video, I want to be friends with you guys. We are Facebook friends, but I want to be real life friends!

Joined at 17, left at 22... Sounds exactly like a phase every parent tells you when you say you'll rock on for life... 😂😂😂 I'm glad you're out tho.

I could have listened to this for an hour.

Sam: I don’t do well in solo videos Also Sam: Does amazing in solo videos ☺️ Some of my favorites are your solo videos. The non-solo ones are great too.

Great video. BIC means born in covenant, usually referred to being born to temple sealed parents.

I was about to be weak and convert back to those myths but I found your channel and my sanity came back, I cannot express with words how much I identify with your story, I willingly joined a cult too and I would die saying I was in the true church of God. Critical thinking is amazing. Stay well guys!

Sorry if you've covered this but what happened to your LDS friend who introduced you to the church?

I joined the church at 18! And by the time I was 21 kinda knew it was false! And keep in mind this was before KZfaq and what we can now find out so easily! The missionaries definitely have a huge role to play in getting people in initially I think, just because their different and from another country makes them automatically interesting, specially when you're up in Scotland and these cool young Americans are really focused on you lol.

OMG! I also joined at 17 and left around 22!! I am 44 now and I am so glad I left. But I don't regret spending a few years in LDS church when I was young because it really taught me a lot about cult and allowed me to understand the mindset of very religious people.

Thanks so much Sam for sharing your story. Excellent video, Tanner you did great too lol. I relate to Sam's experience so much though. I grew up an athiest in a fairly disfunctional family (dad's an alcoholic, emotional incest from my mom, etc.) and when I was 13 my entire group of best friends from school were Christian and went to a youth group every Friday night. I had the WORST case of FOMO and actually started attending youth group, much to my parents chagrin. The only difference is that leaders in the Mormon church were actively trying to recruit you, whereas the Christian leaders gave two shits about me lol (to be fair, I didn't attend church and would just go to youth group to hang with my friends lol). I so desperately wanted to belong to something loving and be apart of this ~exclusive group but no one really cared about me there and eventually the bananas-ness of actually having to believe in God got to me and I stopped going. Plus, one time at youth group my friends told me they didn't believe in the right for gay people to marry and it broke my heart and made me angry at the church. Maybe if it had been Mormons they would have got me... literally solely because my friends were doing it. Thank the trees it didn't work for me. Sorry, novel over!

Sam, are the missionaries who converted you into the church, still TBMs? Do any of them ever try to contact you?

I got baptized a little over a year ago, didn’t go to church for a good 8 months of that time lol I just keep thinking about all of these insane spiritual experiences that people I have met have had... how can vivid dreams or feelings confirm the Book of Mormon and the church be false? It’s the only piece of the church I’m holding on to, I’ve got one foot in the door and one foot out

I'd love a video explaining what it means to "have a testimony." I get the basic idea -- it's a statement of faith. But it obviously plays a really central role and the phrase is used constantly (I've started watching Mormon Stories too). So anything explaining that would be great. Thanks!

My mom was a counselor for years, though she now works as a sped teacher, and we've had conversations about how if religion is done in a healthy way it can actually improve people's mental health and be good for them. The problem is how easy it is for religion to go unhealthy. Whether or not something is true, having something to believe in and stand on can mentally help a lot, but giving something that much power means that when it goes sideways you might as well.

Ahaha first answer about you're happy to get back: "Tea!" You fit the cliché as well as the British people I know IRL do xD it's cute

well I have a questions? me and mine son was going to a mormom church but we don,t any more mine question is is all missionary scams or fake?

Okay I have watched a ton of your videos you two are the best, but can you please answer me this question? Are you two in love? Or are you just best friends that live together? I have tried to answer this question myself through your videos. Am I missing something? Are you in relationships with other people?

I'm English and was born into the church, to a Dad who was a Bishop and had joined as a middle aged man, and a Mum who was converted at the age of 18 by American missionaries, who she fancied. She's almost 89 now, and absolutely staunch LDS. I've tried so hard over the years (I'm 43) to fit in, and be a "good" Mormon. Lived as a member in Norwich, London, Idaho, California and recently Utah. I recently delved into church history etc. and after a REALLY negative experience with a Bishop here in SLC (bishop roulette is real), submitted my resignation through quitmormon this past Sunday. I am SO grateful to have you guys to listen to as I deconstruct.

I think a video of how to help friends through their faith crisis would be interesting. It sounds like Tanner was able to help Sam conclude the church wasn’t true on her own. I would also like to see your ideas of what to do if missionaries knock on your door.

Hey Sam and Tanner. I'd like to know your thoughts on responding to missionaries as a non-member. I've had dozens of missionaries on my doorstep over the years. I'm polite, they push, I continue to be polite, and eventually they move on. But I want to be bolder. I want to say, "I don't condone your church's stance on the LGBT community," and "I don't approve of the reduced roles and status of woman." I know I won't change them. Is it worth it? Are they more likely to push back harder if I insult the church? I respect that every missionary is different, but I assume their training and response to potential converts is somewhat uniform.

I'd be so curious to know what percentage of time, if any, the Mormons spend reading the Bible vs. Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, D&C.

Lol the missionaries tried to get me to join when I was 16 or 17. I ran for some reason but I was so happy I didn't join

I was baptized when I was 8.. in a tiny mostly family branch (like a ward, but smaller, and sometimes people had 2 or 3 callings).. when I was 11 and preparing to go to the temple to do the baptisms they realized the records had never been filed. My parents had a copy but both witnesses were gone by then, so long story short, I had to go through the missionary lessons.. and when they were done (like weeeeeeks of them coming over and teaching me, with my younger siblings sort of participating) they took me into my parents room to do the interview in private and when I told them I didn't believe and I didn't want to get baptized they talked me into bc my parents would be so disappointed in me if they went through all this just for me to say no. so I got baptized and then did baptisms for the dead even though I hated it.. If only that's where my story ended... but since I grew up in the church I went back at 30 years old... but it was probably necessary for me to go back.. otherwise I would have just been inactive.. instead of ex.

I was baptized at age 14 and left when I was 27. Love your channel.

This morning while driving to an appointment I saw two tall young guys. LDS for sure. Their clothes are like a uniform, both had the same shoulder bag. I thought of you guys and these guys traipsing around NYC to 'try and get their numbers up' and I just felt bad for them. Im so glad you guys are speaking out. Making cogent content young people can relate to, on this topic is really important. The problem with religious ideology is that it's based on make-believe.Instead of embracing the mystery of our being as that, we pretend we have knowledge we don't. Like whether there is a God or not. Why would we pretend to know such a thing? It only adds greater complexity while explaining nothing about the universe. So, let love and mystery be our religion. Anything else is kidding oneself. Do meditative practice and see what happens. Explore your consciousness within.. not projecting it outwards, with forms (ie thoughts and concepts). anyway, pardon the rant. Im enjoying your channel.

I think it’s important to mention that the missionaries weren’t teaching with a belief that they were wrong and wanted to hurt anyone by “brainwashing” them. As a member of the LDS church and a former missionary, we shared because we believe it. Of course I respect anyone’s choice to join or not to.

"What was the most regrettable thing you gave up as a Mormon and what are you glad to have back?" "Tea... no wait- my critical thinking skills and my whole sense of being" Very British XD

It's been a year since you filmed this video, but I hope Sam still a has that sign on the wall!

I was born into it and grew up very devout. I became of age in the late sixties and started having doubts. I went to BYU falsely supposing it would all make sense if I was in the "capital" and I would want to then go on a mission. It did not work out. It took years, but I sent the letter taking my leave in my thirties. I am so thankful I did not ever go on a mission and am so elated that I left before it became "cool". Samantha is right about being a "modern day handcart" trecker. So gorgeous, I am certain she knew no peace and had every red blooded fake Israelite wanting her attention. I enjoy your insights and presentation. I wish I had this information when I was a teenager. As much a you had faith, equals how much you resent when you feel betrayed.

Damn! You go to the mall and get “samples” before this? Makeup is on point 🎯😂🍻

In my experience leaving JW I found that Mormons and witnesses are sooo similar it’s very creepy.

and where did you get your Let's Party Bitches sign?

My husband and i both grew up in independent fundamentalist baptist church and not in our early 30’s, married for almost 10 years, we are both in the process of completely deconstructing our faith and while we both believe that God is real, our theology and everything we were taught is now in question. It’s a crazy journey but I’m glad we’re taking it together

I'm watching this while doing the online seminary work I'm forced to do

Cool video. So are you guys atheists now? If so, why do you think this is the best explanation of the universe? Or are you more apathetic to where we came from and what is our purpose? I subscribed and will be watching more of your videos, so thanks!!

hahahaha i got the BEST ad for jesus in the middle of watching this lol. i've never had an ad for jesus lol also, love your story and videos!

I used to be part of the Mormon church. i joined it as an adult. I had an abusive childhood. I know this is anecdotal, but i knew two other adult converts, people who joined the church well into adulthood. these two women (they didn't know each other) had abusive childhoods, too.

EVERYONE!!! LET'S PROMISE TO DONATE MONEY TO ZELPH ON THE SHELF IF THEY CAN HOOK UP A DEBATE/ QUESTION TIME WITH SAINTS UNSCRIPTED. NO EDITING, JUST A COMMON FORUM TO EXCHANGE IDEAS AND ASK QUESTIONS. (and I know I have the caps locked ,lol).

20:40 I’ve heard that converts can be much more hard core than lifelong Mormons. After my divorce, my ex-wife re-married an LDS, subsequently converted and it became her entire being. Even loosely trying to convert me via my daughter when she would come to visit. She’s probably even baptized for the dead my own Mother who was vehemently anti-cult. It’s crazy

I uploaded a video called Open question No. 2 where I ask Mormons about the quote 'drink the Kool-Aid'.