Exactly this! ♥️♥️

Amen!

Amen!

You do have to change your whole world view that's the point. You have to forget everything you've ever learned about wrong or right, good or bad. Of course it's gonna be hard, Especially when you're lying to yourself about whether there's good or badd. I'm sorry this is hard for you. If only there were on another way.

I hear you so hard on this. Hang in there, it does get easier.

​@@clearstonewindows I believe the venerable Weird Al spoke of our peculiar Exmo experience: Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down, and short is long And everything you thought was just SO IMPORTANT DOESN'T MATTER What a delightful discovery that was. I've wasted immense emotional capital (and based critical decisions) on things that turned out to be nonsense - like keeping God happy or myself pure. Also, you can't figure the world out by listening closely to your feelings. Also, you get to decide what matters to you and why. Also, there's a lot more to ethics than "God said so." I didn't realize the church was doing most of my thinking for me until I left.

Sarcasm peeps....

@@clearstonewindows I try to start with the assumption that internet strangers may not be jerks. In your case that led to the impression that you were very young, newly exmo, and exploring nihilism. It's not the world's worst philosophy. What's your deal then? What has you sprinkling contempt into exmo comment sections?

Not Mormon, but my Catholic family sends me articles about saints and reminds me about my baptism day and saint feast days.

I also wish I knew this when I was in the church, being directed to share conference talks with people who left...

True😂😂😂😂

alienated and pissed

I love that you’re having this conversation.

They keep things under the rug and don't let you do things that are natural like coffee and tea and having setup feelings and expecting you to do abstinence

Teenagers and feeling horny and having sex and being curious is completely normal don’t feel bad man it’s Alr, sorry about your experience

What if we say that right back at them? I accept/love you, just not your Christianity".

People who neg or make those shitty comments usually are fully aware of being passive aggressive, so you can call them out on that.

We are taught to love EVERYONE even if they do leave the church. I have a friend who left the church and we're still friends to this day. Leaving is totally 100% they're decision and shouldn't be shamed or shunned.

bekah greer except they are, and the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mentality is exceptionally harmful.

We here all recognize that you are a thoughtful and intelligent person even if they don’t. Only the most intelligent and courageous one get free.

And that even if you were raised in it and had a happy childhood with a good moral foundation, that that doesn't exempt the church from having inflicted harm on you.

This.

Milf coffee beans sugar and boiling water coffee you can't drink if why

Absolutely! How would they feel if I took it upon myself to bear their testimony for them? Yet, they get up conference after conference and tell why we left. Last October, it was those who "refuse to make Covenants with God". They have no right to say that. They have no idea what covenants I have or haven't made with God, only that I didn't make their covenants, their silly secret handshake covenants.

@@justthefacts9796 Plus I did make the "covenants" and peddled their religion for two years and in fact that had a massive influence on why I left.

Omg thank you Nina

Hell doesn't scare me if I go to hell but knew I lived good that I wanted to ill talk to death like an old friend

It's interesting to see how similar the toxicity of Mormonism is to other religions.

Yes! It was only after i went through deconstruction that I was able to look at the cognitive dissonance of "love the sinner, hate the sin" and realize that's not love AT ALL.

Mormons aren't Christians

@@paulalabastida3637 That's dumb. They believe jesus is god and they read the bible. The fuck else would they be? Buddhists?

I judge less and accept more. I explained this to a missionary who reached out to me once and got crickets in response.

are they the ones who can’t leave people alone tho😂 at least you probably don’t stalk them in their houses like they do

It’s so hard to watch some of your family and friends still in after you know what you know on the outside.

@@sarahploharz6956 it's so strange! It looks horrible and so distorted from the outside.

And you shouldn't have to leave it alone! How am I supposed to get through the traumatizing experience of getting out and then just act like this thing didn't dictate my entire life for 20 years. And ignore that it's continuing to dictate the lives of people I love.

Why can't you Leave it alone? What is the answer to your question?

Revelation comes through social pressure AND marketing surveys. Before I pulled my records from the Church, I guess I got randomly selected to take a Church survey. The thing they wanted to know was: is it a good idea to extend WORTHINESS interviews down to Primary kids as young as 8. I'm glad I was on my way out, because I excoriated them in my survey. Discussing whether a teen is "worthy" is already deeply disgusting, but approaching that subject with a child of 8 years old is completely unacceptable. I must not have been alone in my reaction, because guess what? Elohim never told Wreck It Russel to do worthiness interviews for 8 year olds. Now, remember people: I am NOT talking about BAPTISMAL interviews that we all did at 8, which were just "are you excited about getting baptized next month, Timmy?" The Church wanted to discuss regular, yearly "are you keeping the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity?" interviews. With EIGHT YEAR OLDS!!!! God, I get mad thinking about it a year later...

@@BrianMillsMFA interviews made me guilt-ridden around my birthday. So much trauma to unpack…

@@highlandparkgeneraldetroit7715 please remember this is my experience and what happened and don't assume any way I feel about missionaries. There is nothing derogatory that I said.

@@highlandparkgeneraldetroit7715 also, at that time, God didn't save me from myself. God saved me from the Mormon Religion. Later on, much later on like a decade and a half later, is when God saved me from myself. But I never mentioned that in my post above. I really don't like it when people assume things about me and then talk to me like those assumptions are true. Please stop doing this to me.

I'm so sorry about what you're going through.

I don't know your specific situation, but I know many men like this. I also know God outside of anal retentive, religious people. What I would respond to a man screaming those words to me: Is this what the wrath of God feels like because I am currently denying your words?

I just watched the video, are you safe?

I'm seriously so sorry to hear that. One of the only times my father ever yelled at me in my life was shortly after I told him I was leaving the church. It completely blindsided me, and I'm so sorry you're going through what sounds like an even worse episode of that :/

Also yes; are you safe??

It’s because “basic googling” is highly discouraged. Anything outside of the main narratives are generally considered “anti-Mormon” and just Satan trying to pull you away. Instead we were taught to just re-read the scriptures over and over and pray with intent to know the church is true... It always amazes me how smart, objective people become so unreasonable once their religion comes up.

Isn't that insane?

I want to say that a good portion just go because their family made them. The portion I knew at least. I had to “fake it till you make it” till I was 18 and could leave

They repeat the same memes about the narrative from childhood, so anything that goes against that narrative is an assault on your worldview. It’s closed loop ideology. It can never be wrong.

Yep, I was a (very) late convert. I really believe/feel the missionaries rushed me into baptism. I was at a very low ebb depression wise, so the love bombing also was effective. Even then, I was surprised how little the missionaries seemed to know. For example I asked if they believed in trans substantiation- sorry that’s maybe spelled wrong(or Apple doesn’t believe in it) I meant the belief of Catholics that the wine and wafer actually *become* the body and the blood of the saviour. Which is a worrying belief in itself! The missionaries were stumped, admitted they’d never heard of it. I was raised(a bit) in faith so I also asked about the Trinity…Three in One and One in Three. Again, no idea. I should probably have seen all this as red flags, but I I said I was feeling very low

Not a bad comparison, really. Those eyes are definitely sinful.

Someone please tell Benedict Cumberbatch that I have been a very naughty girl.

Please, please explain these mental gymnastics. Please. For my happiness.

WTH?

Thank you so much for sharing this! 💜

🙏❤️

zebrasinigloos I never “knew the church was true” either. But I believed in it with all my heart, which was a shock when I discovered that after 5 years of not going.

Baptists include some very culty sects. Especially as a kid, I remember going to these super fundy churches with no modern music, skirts only, KJV only, no women pastors, lots of homeschoolers. And some of my friends had way worse experiences than me. Me and a bunch of my friends were so misinformed and repressed, it took us literally until our late teens or 20s to figure out we were gay. My sister thought she was asexual till last year, when she met her girlfriend 🧡 The "excuse to sin" argument was so hard for me to get over too. Because sex was one of the reasons I left. But it really wasn't about sin, it was just how obvious it was that we had been lied to about everything, as soon as I got even a little bit of experience in the world. Like you said, I just woke up to the brainwashing. And that's why it feels kinda culty. As much as I don't wanna cheapen that word, I understand that many people have had it way worse. But I definitely feel like I'm still working on deprogramming myself sometimes, even 7 years later.

I too listen to Jimmy's stuff!!! Hello friend!

Additionally, I was being ostracized by members for being vegan. So many members gloss over the "eat meat sparingly" part of the scripture, pretending they don't see it. But are in shock and horror when they see the coffee maker in your kitchen...

Excellent Ted Talk! Thank you for sharing, I hear you.

I used to believe it would be best if I died. That dried up for me, too, once I'd left the church. Isn't it magical?

100% agree!! I’m only 14 tho and have no choice whether to go to church or not. So imma have to wait 4 years. 😐😂

Wow! Ich hatte leider nicht bemerkt, dass es sehr schwer ist, eine Gemeinde den exmorons zu finden. Ich glaube, dass es im Deutschland schwerer ist, weil die Mitglieder es schon spüren, dass sie, in ihre Paradigm, mehr Menschen wie sie haben müssen. Ich wünsche, dass ich das auf meiner Mission wüsste. Ich bin auch Transgender aber ich bin in der Kirche. Ich sage das nicht damit Sie wieder in der Kirche sein- es ist einfach weil ich weiß, das es sehr schwer in der Kirche Jesu Christ ist, wenn man Trans ist. Ich hoffe, dass Menschen Sie in Ruhe lassen, und dass es in der Futur wenige Leiden gibt! Entschuldigung meiner grammatische Fehler- ich will üben :). Für jeden ist der Pfad des Lebens verschiedene!

Kom Janusz Vincent Ich glaube, es gibt in Deutschland weniger Exmormonen, weil es auch weniger Mormonen gibt. Aber wenn man Englisch kann, ist das zum Glück kein großes Problem. :) Und ja, es ist wirklich nicht leicht, trans und in der Kirche zu sein. Für mich ist das einfach nicht der richtige Weg. Aber ich wünsche Ihnen natürlich trotzdem alles Gute! Ich hoffe, Sie werden mit dem Respekt und der Liebe behandelt, die Sie verdienen.

@@evelynwaite3686 I suggest that when you go to church, you take lots of notes on what is said. Then ask lots of annoying questions of your teachers and parents. Just a few to get you started: Why does God have a chosen people? Why is a human sacrifice required for God to forgive us? Why does the papyrus of the Book of Abraham seem to be the text of an ordinary Egyptian funeral document (take a look at the CES letter at cesletter.org)? Keep it up for a while and you may get asked to stay home.

So if you left the church in your teen years, they would kick you out of the house?

Or "they never said anything to people about how it was bad"

I've heard "everyone married teenagers back then". But it was other teenagers who married teenagers (and in their late teens no less), not an old man marrying a kid

well then if that was a different time and not considered bad then, then they how is everything else from back then still the “truth” such as the whole book of mormon.

Also them: don’t give in the social pressure to conform.

@@byereality7492 and also, that same man lying to his wife about all the women he was marrying. That's ...not great behaviour in any time or place.

If you don’t mind me asking, what marked the very beginning of realizing that you were trans while in the church? Like your very first shadows of that thought, before you knew.

That's such a shitty thing to do, like what the fuck is there problem its your life not theirs. My sister got married to a shitty guy and was sealed for fucking eternity. He ended up raping her during they're marriage and many other bad things, but when they got a divorce the church had the nerve to refuse to break the sealing. Even tho, when they first got married he wasn't even worthy to even go into the temple. Like that alone was extremely traumatic for my sister, who is still to this day is molly mormom. Like imagine having to stay with someone who raped and abused you forever. And better yet, mormon men never want to date her because when they find out that she was married before and "had sex" they ghost her or blame and accuse her. Some of our family don't even interact with her anymore because shes "tainted". Like shes not fucking tainted, its sex, its part of life and it CAN be beautiful, but it CAN also be fucking traumatic. And people acting this way just make it worse, like grow some fucking balls and be an adult. She doesn't fucking have cooties. Your perfectly valid and normal. You shouldn't be blamed for someone else's actions. What that man did was wrong and harmful. What other people in the church are doing is just as bad, probably even worse. You and your husband deserve the be treated with respect, not like your an alien or that you're broken or evil. That's just mean and hurtful. This fucking this get on my nerves because you're taught in the church that you should be nice to everyone, but you're also taught in the church that once you have sex your broken. I remember in young womens class, a lesson on marriage and them saying that once you have sex your broken, I specifically remember them using a object lesson of a flower saying that "virginity is beautiful like this flower, but one you have sex , your flower gets crushed and its wilted and destroyed." that fucking sticks with you your entire life, even after your married. I heard many a stories from my multiple sisters and brothers (big mormon family) and others, that it would take sometime months, up to a year maybe, for them to be able to be comfortable with having sex, and hating themselves when they can't. Like kudos to them for waiting till you were ready, even after marriage, but maybe if the church didn't make such a big deal outta it, people wouldn't get so traumatized. Like I remember after that object lesson in young womens having nightmares for weeks about having sex with a man and being out-cased. Heck, even nightmares of getting married. Like just the possibility of ending up with a man and having sex terrified me. It didn't help that sex ed wasn't a thing in my family growing up, like I thought sex was literally hugging naked and kissing till I was 16. Fucking 16!!!! In the church, anything sex is forbidden, even when it comes to manners around sex. Like wow, no wonder there's fucking perverts in the church raping and sexually abusing little girls. Your sexually frustrated, sorry man your the only one. I fucking hate it. No one should have to grow up like that. Where something normal and healthy is to be turned evil. (sorry for the extremly long rant. I don't even know if everything is punctuated correctly. it isn't my strongest suit so forgive me if it bothers you)

honestly no wonder I'm gay (or lesbian)

@@ididntaskforthis6729 that's terrible, I'm sorry that happened to your sister. Yeah, I'm pansexual but legit like 90% of the people I'm attracted to are women 😂

Wait sorry a part of what you wrote in the middle was confusing. They said you were a sinner because you got raped? And prevented you from going to the temple because you got raped?

@@floorfloorfloor722 I was really confused about what happened cuz the guy gaslit me afterwards and said it was consensual even though it wasn’t. So I told my bishop the story trying to reach out for help but he just took the guys side and told me how dare I seduce a worthy priesthood holder. So I believed him and that bishop stopped me from going to the temple for months which prevented me from later getting married in the temple to a different guy. It was complicated and shitty.

100%

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The first thing I want to tell you is that youth (young teens) and young single adults all over the world have had these types of concerns with the Law of Chastity and the commandment to be sexually pure. I am not the only one and I most certainly will not ever be the last one to have these concerns. I know that through study of General Conference talks, the holy scriptures, and even supplemental self help materials made by leaders and members alike, you WILL have a much better understanding of the Law of Chastity. I’m still trying to learn more about the gospel of Jesus Christ every day, but I know that the Holy Ghost can testify of the truth of all things if you take Moroni’s challenge to “ask (God) with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ..” (Moroni 10: 3-5) I know how you feel and I have to continue to learn, to have Faith, and to rely on the Lord’s teachings every day in order to calm my fear and uncertainty. Answers may not come immediately, but they will come when you most need them. I bear my sincere testimony that the Lord knows you personally and stands ready to help you through the power of the Holy Ghost and by the inspired counsel of his appointed prophets and leaders on the earth today, in Jesus’ sacred nam, Amen.

@@anthonywestover5326 @Anthony Westover thanks for the unsolicited testimony, however I simply cannot condone the Mormon church anymore. The church has an unacceptable history with racism, misogyny and grooming, all of which are still seen in the church today. It is absolutely wrong to tell children to suppress what their bodies are going through and "wait till marriage" instead of teaching healthy sexual practices when a child is experiencing puberty. Wanna know what doing that is called? Grooming. The church telling children to not even think about sex until marriage and then encouraging marriage at a young age is grooming. It's a tactic used by cult leaders to ensure their hooks are in the youth from a young age and it's honestly terrifying to see once you actually realize the church is, in fact, not true. Now let's move onto racism. No one in the church wants to remember its leaders denying Black men the priesthood until 1978 on account of them being "unclean", yet that's a historical fact I didn't learn until I left the church. Now.... The church and the God I grew up with would never have wanted such discrimination against an entire race of God's children, yet they were denied the blessings of the church for over half of the church's existence. The history taught on how Joseph translated the book of Mormon is also different now then when I was still a member. It used to be the urim and thummim, now it's a rock in a hat... So it's kinda hard to believe in "the one true church" when it can't even gets its own history right. Now how about misogyny. I could go on and on and on and on and on but instead I'll just give the easy example of young men are now allowed to perform a temple blessing or whatever it is after baptisms for the dead... And young women are now allowed to hand out towels. If you cannot see how absolutely problematic that is then you're probably a man who refuses to believe women, especially in the church, are not seen or treated as equal to men. You think I respect a man who, without being asked, inserted himself to tell me about how he knows the church is true and therefore I should too?? Nope. So tell me Anthony, why would I want to stay in an environment that so clearly only wants to uplift cis, straight, white men and no one else? Do you think I should because that's what you are and you've never had to look past yourself a day in your life? Probably. You say you know how I feel (which makes me both fume and laugh), but I cannot express to you how much you DO NOT know what I feel and the fact you say that you do is insulting. You will never be a woman in the church, you will never be a queer woman outside of the church. You will never know anything past your own nose especially if you stay in the mormon church. But you will stay because that's where you don't have to grow or feel bad about how you're perpetuating horrible practices. I also hate to tell you but your whole testimony about chastity was wasted. I will not pray to God asking if it's real because I know it's not. That's my testimony. I know that the god I was taught about does not exist, and if he did I wouldn't want to follow him because of the absolute unchristian and evil history of his supposed "one true church". Not to mention that it's pretty sexist to think God is a man... If a god exists, they are every gender and none of them at all. It's pretty vain to think the all powerful God is a human man, it's also pretty embarrassing to think that haha. A man??? Is god????? Hahaha no Anthony. That's silly. Logic will tell you that, but you have to actually use it and understand that white, cis, hetero men have shaped the world to be their playground and the rest of us have suffered in some way because of it. The church is harmful, it is not true, and it is undeniably a cult. If you are going to go around and insert your testimony wherever you please, then understand that someone like me will always be there to call the church out on it's racist, homophobic, misogynistic and pedophilic foundation. I say this is the sacred names of girls, gays and theys everywhere, Amen.

HERE WE ARE!

Thank you for sharing!!! 💜💜💜

Cherie Tice wow, that is a lot. I wasn’t doing all that, but I knew it was expected and couldn’t be bothered with it anymore.

God has spoken to me and changed my life in so many ways. The Mormon church is not true and is abusive, but God and the relationship he wants with individuals is true. You say you cried because you wanted the church to be true. What’s true is even better than what you cried for. I hope you have found what you believe now, and that you haven’t given up on a relationship with God because of this church.

Nice comment

I think its because the church is kinda really sexist among other things as well

@@ididntaskforthis6729 oh, absolutely.

Dude! You’re a “NeverMo”! Rejoice & Be Glad...

Yeah same! The process definitely took a while, but the actual moment of I don't think God is real was quick and not something I'd really thought about before

Natalie Woodruff, I think one of the reasons psychology tends to be godless is that psychologists understand that feelings are not facts. Subjective experiences are important and have to be dealt with, but they aren't the end of the matter. If you feel unlovable, that doesn't necessarily mean you are unlovable.

Ugh. Me too! Congratulations on getting out

@@liabw05 Same to you! There's a lot more of us than I ever realized. ❤️

Hahaha I almost dropped my phone laughing 😂 priceless comment

Kind of my position...I do have a few non mormon friends, but most are in it. Least family not in. Torn cause of the few things I like about LDS. But, each year more I can't believe.

💜💜💜

Wait what!? That’s crazy you got that response but also not surprising because they rationalize everything even if it’s totally not logical. The church was founded by him so how is it not based on him? If I was god and I wanted someone to restore my true church I would have actually picked a decent human being. JS was the exact opposite of a decent human.

yah i got a response like that too. like basically my entire family has said that too me.

Not based on Joseph Smith? I wouldn't have been able to contain my laughter at that one,

bug2341 and also in the same conversation brought up all of the churches racism and they said “well the black members are ok with it” they’re literally all brain washed and it’s horrifying.

It's weird to me that polygamy is used as what people hate about the church. Especially now when people's world view on marriage are changing so much. Having a conversation about morals when you no longer think morals exist is insane.

💕💕💕

Goals!