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I just got back from my mission in Brazil, and I can safely say there’s 0 divine intervention in Mormon missionary work. It was so insanely normal, and I saw 0 miracles

When I was at university, a friend of mine had just gotten a quesidilla making machine and we were having a quesidilla-making little party. Towards the beginning of it, there was a knock on the door, and it was Mormon missionaries. We basically said, we don't want to hear what you have to say because we are happy with our faith but please come in if you'd like some quesidillas. We had a lot of choices for toppings and they were given free reign to use them. I was surprised at the time that they respected our no thank you while being soooo incredibly grateful for their made to order quesidillas. Learning about the food restrictions and general lack of choice makes me understand their reaction a bit better.

I served in Peru. They held my passport, ensuring I stayed. A year in, I was ready to leave. But I stayed and became a top baptizer. I grew a lot and I hated the whole experience. When asked if this was the best two years of my life, I laughed. What a lie.

re: missions are low-key human trafficking - I'm a nevermo, but the more I learn about mormonism the more I think it actually all comes back to human trafficking. In the early days, they were luring starving single mothers from Europe to North America, forcing them to trek from the East Coast to Utah in the wintertime while intentionally abusing them and depriving them of proper resources, and dumping the survivors off in Utah to be married off as lifelong sexual and domestic servants to Brigham Young's buddies. It's always been about threatening people into various kinds of labor in order to line the pockets and inflate the egos of narcissistic creeps, they're just finding more socially acceptable ways to do it now.

I KID YOU NOT the moment I finished watching this video, TWO ADORABLE MORMON MISSIONARIES KNOCKED ON MY DOOR!!!!!! I was so stoked and talked with them for way too long, poor things. They were so sweet. Your video must have summoned them haha

My husband jokes that my tiktoks about leaving the church brought more people away from the church than he baptized on his mission, so it evens out. I’m sure all of you helped WAY more people leave than you brought in on your missions! ❤️

Finally, someone else whose faith crisis started with an incorrect prayer answer in the temple! It was the same for me! I was so convinced that God had trusted me with secret knowledge, but then it turned out wrong, and I could not figure out how to get around that, especially with it being in the temple and so clear! And then learning about problematic church history and not trusting prayer by that point, pushed me past the point of no return. Thank you for sharing your story!

My mission solidified the ‘us vs them’ mentality. People were dropped that weren’t progressing through the discussions fast enough. No explanation, no reason given. We’d just stop going to their house because they weren’t giving us the only thing we were there for.

The lds idea that creation and childbirth are MASCULINE is infuriating. The temple creation story features three men creating everything while almost every other creation myth has a man and woman. When I gave birth to my first daughter, I was always sure to check my thoughts if I got too proud of myself for creating literal life, remembering I was merely a vessel, a "cocreator" with Heavenly Father. I just gave birth to my second and I felt so empowered in my feminity knowing that my body was creating this life, my body was housing it, and I was the only one delivering this baby into the world.

“The Italy of the west” had me in tears lmaooo

Hearing about this mistreatment of such well-intentioned, bright, and vulnerable young people has made me sad.

Am I seeing a hint of pink in your hair, Sam? If so, it's so cute!

The whole tribe thing looks like finding your Harry Potter house 😂

I left my mission early after a year in Chile, and I can confidently say it was the worst time in my life. I still have "nightmares" where I'm back on my mission. Everything about the mission experience is horrible. White saviorism, participating in emotional manipulation, pharisaical rules, no access to mental health resources, isolation from the outside world, etc. Awful awful awful

I was Portuguese speaking on the east coast and we would call everyone fubeca too! I was told it was a compilation of “fumar, beber, and café” so like a member who wasn’t following the WoW (smoking, drinking, coffee)

first of all, yaaaay what a collab 💔💔💔 and secondly, Sam's strawberry pink blonde is so pretty 😭🍓💕

I remember when my wards elders were both sick from the mould in the apartment and both had coughs for like 6 months that they refused to see a doctor about. And this is in the UK, we have free health care but they were worried it would take too much time

'The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints of Plausible Deniability.' That's my favorite phrase from now on. LoL😂😂😂

I feel so sad for missionaries that carry the guilt and regret of converting so many people.

Hey guys!! I am an EX Jehovah’s Witness, and I started following all three of you recently. Thanks to Dav and Bethany, lol! Your story really resonates with me, and I think I’m almost ready to tell my own story publicly. Thank you for what you do!!!❤❤❤

🎶 I could have reveled in Gelato, but I got schlepped to Colorado...🎶

I am ethnically ashkenazi jewish and my patriarchal blessing put me in Ephraim 😭 it was actually a shelf moment for me

Oh man. I had forgotten about that rule about not saying anything negative about your mission to your family. The memories of sending repetitive ‘Things are great!’ e-mails when they really weren’t are flooding back, haha. 😅

The Italy mission food pics in the first 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣

I was raised as a fairly lax Catholic, but your videos have been so helpful for reflecting on my religious trauma. Thank you!

Tuned in live. The eating carb pizza slices every night as Jesus would led to 1) Tanner mimicking “I’m so full of carb I’m literally becoming bread & wine” 2) Alyssa quickly quipping “Jesus Crust” …. As a Scottish exvangelical I literally cried with laughing!

My sister and I both left the church and over the past few weeks we’ve invited the local sister missionaries over for dinner to be able to feed them several times. We lucked out and they’re both super sweet and haven’t tried preaching at all, we just get together and have fun conversations about what movies, shows, music, and games we like, and what kinds of things they’re excited to get back into when they get home. I even got one of the games they recommended and have really enjoyed it. The first time they came over we gave them a small care package with some food, snacks, basic first aid items, period products, etc., and they told us thank you and said missionaries never get things like that and to please tell them if there’s anything they could help us with because they would literally do anything for us. On one hand, the way the church treats missionaries is horrible and it sucks that all these barely-no-longer-children are so deprived that a few pads and a box of macaroni feels like christmas to them. On the other, the new rule they’re trying to implement to keep missionaries from being fed by members (we get to pass as “inactives” because we haven’t removed our names yet) is a win win. The missionaries get food and a break, we (college students with not many friends) get to socialize with some super nice girls, and the church gets no converts out of it! It puts us in the perfect position to do what the church refuses to do: feed his sheep.

As someone who served a mission and just saw the title without seeing any of the video, ABSOLUTELY.

An unintentional consequences of hearing all these exmormon stories is that I am now really nice to missionaries. But not enough that they waste their time coming back.

As a never Mo, I continue to be amazed at the level of control and manipulation. I cannot imagine being on a mission without getting seriously ill from the pressure and being constantly monitored, not to mention the cognitive dissonance of forcing it upon others. I really enjoyed this vid and learned a lot. Well done!

Amazing collab! I don't know why I'm so endlessly fascinated by Mormons. I'm Finnish and have never been religious. I didn't even get the light, watered down version that is modern evangelical Christianity. So the insane dynamics of high control groups is so foreign to me. And the internal logic is fucked up. I actually met two female missionaries in Finland once. They were just out on the street with their books and pamphlets. Us Finns don't make even eyecontact with strangers, let alone stop to chat. Maybe I was just curious (or maybe it was the Holy Spirit!) but I stopped. They spoke Finnish, a notoriously hard language, scarily well and they were super friendly and all smiles. That intense, wide-eyed cult smile. I used to spend time in the States because my late ex-fiance was American, so I was really happy to just speak to someone about America. They didn't push the religion too hard, no specifics. I did tell them that I'm an atheist but that I'm interested in religions. They handed me a copy of the Book of Mormon, which I own to this day. I even gave them my phone number and considered going for a coffee with them some day - and I know what you're thinking! As vulnerable as I was at time, I wasn't exactly at the risk of falling into a cult. Some other cult could've snatched me at the right time with the right message and sense of community, but not LDS. It would take a lot to get me to even believe in a higher power at all or in that cool carpenter dude, let alone Joseph Smith. I never met them again, though. I don't know if it would've been frustrating for them to get a person to come for a private date when they are obviously not even close to conversion and just want someone to talk to. Or are they just happy to be doing _something_ different with their time that is still officially an important part of their job?

Maybe this is because I'm on the west coast but we NEVER would have fed missionaries takeout pizza 🤣 we always had tacos or some kind of "burrito bowls" or something and they always thanked my mom for not feeding them lasagna 🤣

A Mormon mission is not an easy thing to do at a pivotal time in life. I definitely regret it. It is not what I needed at that point in life. My kids will never be subject. I always offer the Elders and Sisters words of encouragement when I encounter them. Life is far better without a handbook. Thank you for shining a Light of Day that no one should fear.

It's really fascinating watching people talk about their missions from a real perspective, and not the "talk" you give about your mission when you come back and report to the ward. It's coming up on 30 years since I went on my mission, and while I'm done with the church itself, I have mostly good feelings about my mission experience. I should maybe do a video someday about it, because I kept a very detailed journal, which I go back to from time to time.

Your explanation for why only men get the priesthood reminded me of conversations with my dad about it. He told me that since women are more spiritual anyway, men need more motivation to become better. He said that if women had the priesthood men would not want to be as righteous, so in the end, giving women the priesthood would hurt everyone because there would be less worthy males.

I’m now in a rabbit hole about Mormonism and this is so interesting, as someone with catholic religious trauma I am baffled by the things I learn about Mormonism😭

Dude it’s Alyssa! Love her. This is peak KZfaq material here. ❤

It’s funny. The day this video released my sister came home from her mission. She is completely different. I feel like they stole her from me…

Alyssa + Sam + Tanner = a holy trinity ❤ love y'all

My mission was the worst experience of my life. I felt like a used car salesman and was mentally and emotionally abused by the other missionaries around me. It was not a spiritual experience whatsoever. Also, my companion was an actual sociopath and didn’t get along with any companion she was paired with. I had to bike in the winter in Utah in 2022, when it was an unusually cold winter for Utah. The temp was constantly in the negatives, and since the member we lived with was overly frugal, he never turned on the heater or the hot water. So after biking all day in the snow we’d have to come home and take a cold shower. We also had to buy space heaters with our own money. Also, when I told my MP that I had depression, he threatened to send me home. I had two therapy sessions and my mission therapist warned me to quit setting appointments with him, because I think he was afraid I would be sent home.

Super loved this! Alyssa's story about the tribe of Judah had me rolling. So happy for Zelph that you're now in hd, so cool! I'm a headphone user, so the upgrade to your sound is amazing!

OMG, someone else also thinks that missions are a form of human trafficking!!! I’ve never heard that anywhere else. I thought that was just me.

Please do more videos together! This was very enjoyable and informative. You all have a great vibe together ❤ As a never-Mormon, I’m so interested in learning about high demand religions. I’ve watched hours of Zelph & it never gets tiring ❤

As an actual jew, this is so wild

It's so gross that they expect you to be married by 21. And it just makes me think of child brides. I'm 38 and between 19 and 22, you are just a big teenager.

With my first mission president’s wife the missionaries knew that if they called her about any medical needs is that she would tell them to, ‘Take some aspirin and get some rest.’ That rarely actually applied especially when we weren’t really allowed to do the rest part. 😂

My spouse and I were just telling my never-mo friend about our missions and the church. Let's just say she was flabbergasted😅

I watched The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping on Netflix the other night which was wild. What those kids went through was so horrific and a mission was not the same, but when I turned it off and tried to go to bed I had a full on panic attack thinking about the parallels to my Russia Samara mission 😵.

My little sister who I am very close to is currently on a mission. She’s learning a foreign language as well. She’s half way through but has struggled the whole time. This past week she told me how angry at herself she is for how sad she’s been feeling. She’s received mental health “counseling” since being there but it hasn’t seemed to help (I’m shook). She told me she doesn’t feel like she has express any negative emotion even in a journal to herself. Nothing is for her, not even her emotions. I really miss her. Even though we talk ever week, it’s not really her. I wish I could help her, but I think she feels guilty even talking to me cause I’m no longer a member

From personal experience, I can say that Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, and other long term service programs for younger people may not be run by high control religious groups, but they are definitely run by medium-control institutions, so take a look at those programs with a critical lens before jumping in. There really aren’t enough opportunities for young people to learn and grow and explore outside of restrictive institutions.

A great collaboration. I hope you three do more videos together.

All of you helped me deconvert! Thank you! ❤😊

If God told you you'd serve a mission in Italy and you then were called to Denver you either A) weren't faithful enough, B) were mistaken (but def not about other spiritual witnesses), C) the person who decided Denver misused their agency, or D) Heavenly Father has dementia, BUT THE CHURCH IS STILL TRUE.

i found you guys through all the girl defined stuff that’s happened the last bit. i’ve been binging your guys’ channel the past couple weeks and im currently watching the ruby franke 20/20 episode through tiktok parts (im in canada so no abc or hulu) & i was so hyped to see you guys. i watched this video when it came out but i had to come back and comment. i’m in no way connected to religion or anything but i love listening to your guys’ input and experiences. you two deserve way more subscribers on here!! keep it up :) much love from canada :))

Lmao this sounds like Harry Potter sorting hat situation 😂😂😂

Collab of the century!! Love you all 🫶

Watching your video, I kept thinking about my mission in the early ‘70s. Things were so different back then, and I’m wondering if the super strict rules you had to deal with were a result of some of the things I did. 😂 I lost all my papers and photos and journals when I had a stint of homelessness 20 years ago. I wish I still had those.

My patriarch felt the need to add something to my blessing AFTER he gave it to me (when he was typing it up) about how I need to do my genealogy to find out I have Native American ancestry… I was tribe of Ephraim in my blessing but at that particular time in late summer I had a dark tan and I have brown hair and eyes. Most of my genealogy is done back to the 1500s and no native ancestry… though that would be cool

OMG I just watched Alyssa's BYU video as my first full video of hers last night!

The selective hearing I had as a missionary to find the right moment to plug in doctrine/lessons was the worst, and I wished to just chat with people without having to insert Mormonism. It’s not a weight I hold on my present self now deconstructed, but overall just heavy.

It reminded me of an occasion decades ago when a grandmother type (JW?) came to our door with her 7/8 year old granddaughter and let the child run the spiel. I just didn’t have the heart to squash this little one with a “thanks but no thanks. I listened to her run through to the end and she seemed so happy to have done it. Wonder where she is today? 👧🏼

The collab I've been waiting for! ❤

As a Jewish person when you started talking about the 12 tribes I was like “I thought we’re all Judah?” 🤨 I guess I was right, lol

20:27 OMG I JUST REMEMBER SOMETHING. When I got my patriarchal blessing the guy asked what color my eyes were, and I thought it was so random. I was only 14 so it was all so confusing for me💀 that’s makes sm more sense why he asked that

Fun fact about me is I requested Norway in my mission application, and was called to Norway. At the time I saw it as a sign from God, to become closer to my ancestors etc etc. I even got a letter from D Todd Christofferson who had met my parents at a stake conference and he told me how special it was and that he himself has ancestry from there. At any rate, I was glad I was called there because I'm obsessed with scandinavian stuff (kinda was in the annoying white alt-right way at the time? but don't worry I have changed my ways lmao) and would have been bored out of my fucking mind otherwise, especially considering how miserable and ineffective proselytizing is over there. At least exploring culture was some kind of escape and something to stretch my brain with. Not to mention awesome hiking opportunities everywhere.

I also had a companion pray that Heavenly Father would forgive me for having a 48 hr flu (eruptions from both ends) because I had wasted His sacred time and squandered opportunities for teaching and saving souls! Yeah... we were only companions for 10 days... it felt like 10 months. 😅

I didn't mean to one up you tanner but in my Argentina mission we weren't even given two hours for lunch. We just had one hour for lunch and that was it

Great convo! Really great to hear more stories and learn more. (Random: baker’s dozen is 13; one extra is made for the baker for tasting before selling the dozen)

I said in a different comment that I'm not Christian. However I used to volunteer for a Catholic based non profit over here in Italy and it felt amazing. Even though I didn't align spiritually it was still an opportunity to grow and do good. We didn't outright push the gospel onto people but we did good almost in the name of religion. Kind of like "Religion wants me to be a kind hearted man so that's who I'll be" and that alone can give your that growth you're looking for. Expecially if you're a believer or something. I think I volunteered twice at the Christmas market selling second hand toys. And I felt so good reading the news seeing how much money we raised to be donated in the form of food and medicine for African kids. And it was really nice to see the kiddos other people helped, be there and want to help too. Basically some teens like me would go in poorer areas of the city and they had classes for children of immigrants to help them do their homeworks. Again no religion was pushed directly onto them despite the organization is church based and has Christian values and foundaments.

your hair looks amazing Sam!!!

I love all three of you wonderful humans! All gorgeous AF! I ended up serving my mission in Kansas/Missouri & what a ride of indoctrination that was… I’ll see y’all in the pearly white gates of white Mormon heaven 🤝 👩‍🍳😂

We had a missionary growing up that insisted on eating chicken that was pink in the middle even after my mom offered to cook it more thoroughly multiple times because he didn’t want to be rude. My mom was obviously super embarrassed and felt horrible for serving ANYONE pink chicken, let alone them insisting on eating it. I hope he didn’t get sick.

I attended a fairly strict evangelical/fundamental church where the leadership discouraged me from going to therapy as they didn't approve of secular based therapy. Subsequently they had no problem "black-sheeping" me because the counseling based program they wanted me a part of was called "Setting Captives Free" where the leadership had to closely monitor my sessions. I realized after awhile that the place was whack and I needed to leave. The church eventually folds but not before messing with other members lives and pushing more away. I am so glad I am no longer attending a church like that again.

My companion and I watched Twilight with a member on my mission haha

Love the stories of little moments where you bent the rules but in such wholesome ways! The Sonic story reminds me of the time my companion and I decided to visit every 7-11 in town on free slurpee day and turn it into a contacting exercise. As long as we talked to more people than we did at the last 7-11, we could go to the next one. We had way too much sugar that day, but we did make it to every one in our town. That was probably one of the best/most fun days of my mission, tbh.

I also hated the sight and sound rule, but I'm SO glad we had our own apartments where we could chill out and be ourselves just a bit and turn on the missionary persona when we left the apartment. I even lived in a 4-man apartment a couple times and that was the best.

Plot twist: the mystery Bethany is Mrs Bethany Defined herself

ZELPH + ALYSSA IS THE BEST THING EVERRRRRR

Finally. The crossover we've all been waiting for

My best friend always struggled with stress and anxiety in high school and when she went on her mission it was so bad, she started she actually started having this like chronic pain, seizures, muscle spasms, terrifying stuff. She came home after just a few months, got a little under control. I actually rushed my wedding when she came back so that she could attend and then she decided to go back out there and had to leave before my wedding 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was really upset because I actually needed time and I shouldn’t have gotten married. Not her fault really but the timeframe pressured me. And then she didn’t even get to go. Anyways, she talked to me about going back and I begged her to wait. I kept telling her she needed more time then just a few months, she needs lots of therapy, maybe a mission isn’t even for you. And I was right, she had to come back a few months later again and she isn’t allowed to serve a mission now. I feel so bad for her and all missionaries really. It’s not human nature to suppress ourselves that much. Honestly surprised but relieved the members around her didn’t think she was possessed or something. I didn’t think Mormons believed in possession but apparently some do and it’s in the doctrine 🫣

oh hellll yeah. 4 hour cut, plz

this episode was a banger...love it

Love this collab, also Sam your hair is so cute!

After hearing this, if missionaries came to my house, would they accept healthy or refreshing snacks if I gave it to them? I wouldn't convert or want to debate them, but this sounds brutal 😳

When I was a teenager, I definitely wanted to serve a mission, and then I deprogrammed and belatedly realized that what I actually wanted to do was travel and live outside the US. It didn't occur to me at the time that you could do that without proselytizing. : P

The coming togetherness of it all is making me cry

Love ur new hair sam!

Really great episode, but especially love the discussion in the last 30 minutes, wow!

I was raised Methodist so I find this whole Mormon culture and doctrine fascinating. But in a “that’s definitely a cult” kinda way 😅

When my fav ex mormon creators meet:D this is the best

Would love yalls tips on how to help tired and potentially hungry Mormons if they knock on our door? Should I offer them a chipotle gift card? A CVS gift card?

When Tanner played hide and seek, he was emulating the first Saints. Here is the story: as you know, the original temple ceremony didn't have a movie, but was a real life role play involving the people to be endowed. In the garden of Eden, the initiates would literally play hide and seek with Elohim, hiding behind potted bushes or sofas of the temple room. This would cause great excitement with 19th century ladies, who would giggle or laugh. one time, Ann Eliza Young was thus laughing out loud, causing Heber C. Kimball to get angry with her. Some supposed this is the origin of the oath banning loud laughter. So Tanner restored a part of the original temple endowment.

lmfaooo the editing @5:00 with the fucking canolis 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Whoa, just saw you two on 20/20! That was such a surprise!

Thanks for the giggles about these absurdities.

Thank you, guys, for sharing! 🙏

Jared is hilarious 🤣

Love your hair, Sam 😊

I’ve been casually watching The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping and finally got around to watching the last episode. Things suddenly became Mormon and it made me think of you two.