I get that the mother can do things that might make the father angry, but the reaction from abusing fathers is completely unacceptable. Insults about them and their whole family (even if they're dead), in worst cases it can go to the extent of him hitting her. You truly cannot describe the awful feeling it leaves in the children unless you've actually been there. It creates this built up anger and fear, that can lead to serious problems on that child for the rest of their lives. May Allah forgive our fathers.

First your mother, then your mother, then your mother, .,. then your father. Advice from the Prophet, peace be up on him.

My father sacrifices alot for me but I hate him.... I feel like I'm loosing respect for him...... He's always mistreating my mom for no reason...... My mom is very patient so she cries and then become normal but I hate myself even more for not being able to protect her..... I'll be leaving soon for higher studies and I'm so scared like what will happen to her? My father stays a bit polite when I'm around what will he do to her in my absence..... I can't stop crying

Some men probably grew up seeing their mother being abused. So they think its normal. A cycle which needs to be broken.

I try to clam down situation like that, I'm not going to say my mom is innocent, but i hate my Father bottom of my heart. He is worst member of our family. And when it comes to my mother i loss it all.....( she indeed bear and sacrifices a lot for me and for my brother ) All the wise Islamic advise pass through me. We all try to talk with our father about it but he actually very proud of his angriness and short temper. If it's a test from Allah, i seek forgiveness cause i terrible fail at this test. In my mind I cursed him a lot, wished him to die even through he is really sick, i ignore him and do not talk with him for months, he gave me so much sorrow that i can't even feel sad to his misery! I'm the worst daughter* Edit : nowadays he don't scream that much he used to, he don't curse my mom or don't hit my mom. Maybe because he getting old and old. So nowadays i feel clam at home and not scared of family fights. But my mind being anxious, what if it goes back to the same. Nowadays I don't hate my father or curse him. Sometimes i want to be a normal daughter who laughs with her father, talks with him, care about his health and want to take care of him like Allah said in Quran. But it became more more awkward for me to do these things cause i never done this before. There's a big and huge emotional wall between us. It's so hard for me both physically and mentally to act like a daughter. We both build our walls, and now it feels like unbreakable. I wonder if my father were like that before, will i be became a good daughter to him who loves her father ??

practical advice is needed rather than vague generalisations - most people don't know how to apply these generalisations

May Allah reward the ustadh with the best in this world and in the next.

JazākullāhuKhirn Shaykh May allah reward You

Asalamu aleykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh ustadh abdulrahman akhi. I wanted to bring important matter in to your mind. Wallahi it's hard to overcome addictions .It took me 2 years just to figure out how to overcome my addictions after relapsing so many times. As you are among youth and you are changing them, it will be the best for those who are not addicts and those who are addicts, to build a boarding madrasah for them and keep them their for like two years and that will help them to overcome their addictions and learn the basic of the Deen very well.

So what about mentioning mediation or getting other family members or authorities involved before the woman is killed or maimed by the husband? Those of us who have witnessed domestic abuse or know of those who have know the horrific consequences both on the oppressed and on the children. This answer needed a lot more depth and clarification than 5 minutes, respected Ustadh. Women are killed every day at the hands of their male family members subhanaallah. With all due respect, I'm really, really disappointed at this passive and incomplete fatawa.

why would you want him to enter jannah after witnessing all pain and suffering he had inflicted?

He hits her I have to come in between, I hate him he is not there he just is an egominaic beast

مُمتاز

I admit my mother has done a lot of sins herself but I don't think anyone is entitled to abuse anyone so much mentally and physically whatever small my mom's mistake might be (like he burned a bit of his tongue becoz the water was too hot) he would hit her abuse her mentally insults her family and her father (his father-in-law) and does all of that in front of me and my brothers My dad has cheated on my mom multiple times but my mother has never said or done anything bad about my father in front of me or my brothers she forgave him becoz of us and for our future so that we live a financially secured life But after seeing everything I can't help myself and support my mother and try to stop my dad as an eldest child I can't see my younger brothers see that our mom is getting hit by our dad who is supposed to be our protector I am losing respect for my father day by day and I don't want too but I hate him I don't know what to do if I am wrong or not but May Allah show me the right path

This is advice for people in the comments section who are acting as if the Ustādh has given deficient advise. 1) The principle of avoiding an action due to the greater harm that is caused by it is something that is well known in the religion. “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allah, lest they insult Allah wrongfully without knowledge” [al-An‘aam 6:108] Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother." حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ حُمَيْدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ أَنْ يَلْعَنَ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ ‏"‏‏.‏ قِيلَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَكَيْفَ يَلْعَنُ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ قَالَ ‏"‏ يَسُبُّ الرَّجُلُ أَبَا الرَّجُلِ، فَيَسُبُّ أَبَاهُ، وَيَسُبُّ أَمَّهُ ‏"‏‏.‏ Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5973 2) The questioner didn't specify what kind and level of abuse is taking place. People are speaking as if the questioner said "My father is beating up my mother to the point that he is going to kill her. What should I do?" or that it is the woman herself who is asking the question. The Ustadh is giving advice that is appropriate to the level of the child which is simply politely advising their father. Are people expecting the Ustadh to advise the children to physically fight their fathers and cause greater problems? If it is the woman who is asking the question, then of course the options and advice given would be different. 3) People are talking about bringing in members from outside the family to resolve the problem as if this has no consequences. Once people are involved in the marriage they could remain involved and could keep asking about the affairs of the marriage. They could be a means by which the family is definitely broken up while it could have been resolved if it was kept private. Perhaps the wife will forgive the husband but if external members are involved then the issue could remain due to in laws being aware of the marriage problems. I know of a case where the woman complained about her marriage problems to her mother and then the in laws kept fighting with each other and instigating each other until the marriage ended a year later in divorce. This question was very vague and therefore general advice was given. Not every abusive marriage involves wives being hit to the point of being killed. Is the Ustadh supposed to say "call the cops and put the father in jail even if he hits her once" as a general advice for all cases of abuse? People are very quick to act like marriage counselling experts while forgetting that every marriage is different and every case requires its own specific advice. 4) Perhaps people are forgetting that injustice may not be resolved in this world but it will certainly be dealt with in the Ākhirah. It's not like the husband is going to get away with what he has done if he doesn't repent and stop his abuse by not taking his child's advice. 5) People are leaving comments such as "Always use your aql and not always some hadith". It is almost as if they are trying to belittle the advice given by the hadith and giving preference to their 'aql! The One who created your 'aql knows what is better for you than yourself. The hadith are not made up by the Prophet ﷺ following his whims and desires. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only a Revelation revealed” [al-Najm 53:3-4] It was narrated from al-Miqdaam ibn Ma’di Yakrib (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said: “Verily I have been given the Qur’aan and something similar to it along with it. But soon there will be a time when a man will be reclining on his couch with a full stomach, and he will say, ‘You should adhere to this Qur’aan: what you find that it says is permissible, take it as permissible, and what you find it says is forbidden, take it as forbidden.’ But indeed, whatever the Messenger of Allaah forbids is like what Allaah forbids.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2664). He said: It is hasan ghareeb with this isnaad. It was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (2870). The hadith are revelation from الله that the Prophet ﷺ taught the people. Don't fall into kufr by belittling the hadith. Just a reminder, this ustadh has worked as a marriage counselor for more than 10 years and has been a student of knowledge for longer. He is speaking with experience when answering this question and knows the consequence of giving an answer which appeals to emotions while in reality leads to disastrous results. We ask people to refrain from speaking about the religion if they have not studied the religion in depth.

How to stop man I m a girl he hits me too ,my face is swollen and then he curses me too .

I have no respect for my own father he is been abusing my mother all his life he was never there for us. He has never been a father figure, and he treats my mother so bad and yell at her you would think that now in his 70s he will repent nah he doesn't pray he is a lier have no respect, he beats my brother up when he sick while throwing up in front of him. He is lucky that I even talk to him. Him and my mother are well cared for when they come to visit overseas, but if he gets on my mom I will get on him, I used to tell him respectfully to drop it and respect the fact that my mother does a lot of things for him and he does not like it. Yesterday though he was getting on my mother so badly that i went straight and told him to stop abusing my mother and to calm down and have a bit of respect. Of course he got mad which i honestly do not care about, his opinion never mattered to me . I am aware that snapping is not the right thing to do and i ask Allah to forgive me but after his actions yesterday i am cutting ties i told him straight that i will be involved in this if he ever again put his hands on my mother again . I also work from home so i can hear everything, every single day the nasty cussing calling my mother the b word and the w word and she takes tons of medicine and he cannot even give her a cup of water if she is sick. My trust is in Allah.

Always look for the root causes...Ask yourself why I’m abusing her? Why he’s behaving like this? What are the reasons? then work from there...try to solve those issue one by one ‎إن شاء الله‬...keep asking Allah subhanahuwatala to help you!

wonderful.. so when you had to give an example of when one might be wrong..you automatically assume its the woman ( kzfaq.info/get/bejne/nsyohdR1m7yrmH0.html ) ... wonderful 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻