Literally, he has his sign right there. He should run from this woman. Their whole life is going to be her making threats if she doesn't get what she wants.

Sounds like she wants a wedding, not a marriage. Call it off and move on.

Emotional blackmail before the wedding is a black flag.

My late husband and I decided that we wanted to start out together without debt. We paid cash for our furniture and my car. He had a company car. We also wanted to have a few dollars in our pocket. I got married in a $40 dress that I made myself and I got my shoes for only $4 because the store wanted to get rid of the size 4 shoes that didn’t fit anybody but me. We stayed married for 40 years until he died 2 years ago. He left me with multiple paid off houses and cars and an income for the rest of my life. When he died, we didn’t owe a penny to anybody, and I am still debt free. He was a good man that treated me very well and handled money responsibly. I really miss him.

Called my girlfriend who worked at the same place on a Friday morning asking what she was doing for lunch. We were both single parents at the time. She said, “Nothing.” I said, “Let’s go get married.” We went to the courthouse, got married, had some lunch to celebrate, picked the girls up from daycare, and took the rest of the day off. 26 years and seven grandkids later, I am more in love with her than ever!! 😃🙏🏼❤️

As a wedding photographer, this is a massive red flag. I've photographed almost 100 weddings and less than 30 of the couples are still together after two years. I've learned to see a lot of the red flags before the wedding even happens. The fact that she's prioritizing the price of the wedding over actual happiness says a lot about her. Every time I see this happen, the couple doesn't last more than two years.

To her, the wedding is more important than him. Huge red flag! Run away!

She doesnt want to be a wife, she wants to be a bride. HUGE difference.

As a woman who has been married for 20 years, I would tell this young man to RUN LIKE HELL!!!

If they both have the same income, why is she offering to pay 25% and he is supposed to pay 75%?? Red flag right there.

My childhood best friend didn’t have money got married in a restaurant with around 30 family and friends guests costed under 3k. Many years later now they have 2 kids and are still happily married. Weddings don’t make marriages.

If she insists on a $20k wedding, then she can't only be contributing $4k and be providing ultimatums

This demand will never end. Walk away from this walking red flag.

$16k isn't too much?! Why would you spend such a ridiculous amount for one day unless you have good money? The commercialisation of weddings hurts my head..

I read an article interviewing a wedding planner. Her take was that you can tell how long a marriage will last by the size of the rock on the engagement ring, and the number of guests at the wedding. The bigger each number is, the shorter the marriage will last.

Our marriage was at the county court house in a conference room & had breakfast at Denny's after. This July will make 40 years.

"Anthony, how fast can you run?" "Pretty fast." "Okay, on your mark, get set, GO AWAY from this woman!"

Spending 1/4 of your combined annual income on a wedding is absolutely ludicrous to me. Just pure insanity. Ridiculous.

I got married last year. It cost just over £3,000. One of our friends took photos at the church and register office for free. The pastor is a man of God who did a short ceremony for free. We had 20 guests who then all went to a restaurant for a 3 course meal costing £800 in total. We only invited those who meant a lot to us. We both make good money and are debt-free but I respect the hard work my husband puts into earning it, so I wouldn’t squander it. We are happy and blessed. Everyone at our wedding had a great time and said they felt a special blessed atmosphere. People need to stop wasting the resources God gives them on ego

I was a military cop for 6 years (19 - 24yrs old) and saw lots of military buddies marry and divorce within a year or two. I saw what people did while their spouses were away on TDY (temporary duty assignments away) and responded to my fair share of domestic disturbances at base housing. It was an eye opening experience that kept me from marrying at a very young age. I did end up getting married in my late 30's long after my separation from the military.

He needs to leave her

Oh man, the wedding is the inexpensive part of a marriage. Sir - you do *not* want to share your life (and have children) with a women like this. My husband and I had a wonderful wedding on $1,300 (including everything!) and we are working together to pay off debt (only the mortgage remains) and build retirement. Marriage is difficult enough without being forced to do it with someone who is this self-centered. Call it off, move on... and allow yourself to meet a woman that matches you well.

she wants a wedding that’s 50% of his income haha

I had a girlfriend that said “I want to get an apartment together or else I’m leaving”. So I said bye.

This is a major red flag. If she thinks spending 20K on wedding when they make 70K a year is a good idea, then you have to ask what other irresponsible financial decisions will she have you get into once you are married.

She wants a Disney wedding. If you say no she'll go find someone who will say yes? Let her go.

There's a bunch of red flags: - She demanded her dream wedding which means he has no say over anything on his own wedding day! - They earn about the same and she forks over 4K and he's supposed to come up with 16K. How is that fair (especially considering that his ideas regarding the wedding are not even deemed worthy of consideration)? - The ultimatum in itself. She obviously is not interested in solving this TOGETHER as mature adults in an equal partnership, she just wants you to do as she says. Run, Forest, run!

She says he is being greedy!!?? She is the greedy one. Run away!

My wife wanted a big wedding too, I didn't. The difference is we discussed it, factored in costs, life plans, goals, etc. and ended up eloping for ~$400. We didn't even decide to do the ceremony because we decided to put all of our money towards saving for a house since we are (were at the time) planning to have a baby. Fast forward two years later and we don't regret it at all. Highly recommend would elope again. RUN bro. Freaking RUN.

If my fiancé ever told this to me, there would be no discussion. I’d open the door and show her the way out.

Buy me what I want!!! Yeah… thats a huge red flag.

She's immature. If she doesn't get her way, she pouts.

Consider yourself lucky that you dodged a bullet. If it were me, I would not continue this relationship. First, it's the wedding, then it's always something else she wants and before you know it, she gives you another ultimatum. This is not how a marriage should be. Run, Anthony, run!

As a vet.,this sounds like a story I've heard numerous times with different service members. Get rid of her before you end up a divorced E5 paying alimony/child support.

I paid $8000 on my wedding and it was great. My wife and I both worked together about what we could and couldn’t afford. I had to convince her to get certain things she wanted because she didn’t want me paying too much. RUN from this Chick

Got married 8 years ago and my wife didn’t get the wedding she wanted. She’s brought it up every argument since then and our marriage has been horrible. Run while you can.

When she accuses him of being greedy, that is known as projection. Dave is correct. She is entitled and childish. She should be reminded that weddings are traditionally funded solely by the bride's family. Where are they? And I know enough about military culture to know that with her attitude, her probability of fidelity on a military base is just about zero. Cut her loose to marry and divorce someone else.

Get rid of her. She's selfish and immature and will ruin you financially into the ground and divorce you for someone else. I've seen this countless times before. Better to be single, especially at 24 then have your life ruined before the age of 30 by a spoiled pampered princess. Let her ruin her own finances or someone else's.

She's clearly an over-spender. No matter how much he makes, she will always have something more that she "needs" desperately and will borrow to acquire. Clothes, vacations, fancy cars, evenings out... She will want to keep up with rich friends, and when she gets bored with them, she'll move on to even richer friends. He should cut her loose before she drags him into debt-induced bankruptcy.

This is a red flag. Dump her. She's going to be like that in the marriage.

Red flag 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 She’s unwilling to compromise and already seems to not understand financials and budgets. Probably best to wait or take a break from the unhealthy relationship. 🤷🏽‍♀️ been there.

A wedding is one day, marriage is a lifetime.. address the underlying issues before getting married 💍

If I ever get married, I’m going to the courthouse. Have a small reception for close family (15-20 people) and then have a big BYOB party for all my friends.

I'm blown away that you feel like $20,000 for a wedding is a reasonable price. That's crazy to me.

DONT MARRY HER

Bro….run. The fiancé doesn’t give the man an ultimatum. Unless you’re simp. She should be happy to just go to the court house

You don't need to leave and she's not gonna leave you. You need to tell her "No. I love you, but no. I want it too, but we can't afford it, so no." It'll be good for both of you.

Buy bye she's only interested in the ceremony, not commitment to you.

Never make a decision based on someone giving you an ultimatum. You both need to decide together, or you decide alone.

So let her go. She wants a wedding, she does not want to be a wife.

I agree with Dave completely this time. My husband and I went to the courthouse.

16k is reasonable if they make 150k and they split the costs. It is not reasonable when they make 70k and if she expects him to foot 75% of the cost, and she's delivering an ultimatum.

RUN!!! DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THAT WOMAN!!

I like the strait strategy of asking question by the Ramsey Team to come quickly to the point ... great work! Keep it up!

I was making $50,000 when I was engaged to my fiancée and she was making minimum wage money. We wanted to be married more than anything else and I told her we could not afford an elaborate wedding. She agreed. Went to the courthouse, paid $35 and got married there. This allowed us to get a jump start to our marriage and finances. Our 20 year anniversary is this August. Lived debt free. If she is prioritizing a wedding over a marriage, RUN!!

My wife and I got married without a big wedding either, because at the time we didn't have much money. Now we are super healthy financially and I've asked her, do you still want a wedding celebration? She said "no, I'd rather us keep the money and go on vacations!" That's why she's a keeper and I adore her to death. This guy's fiancee in the video, red flag. Run the other way immediately.

Is this guy serious? She revealed herself and made this so easy for you. Do not marry this woman. Dave laid down some grown man wisdom for this young soldier. Good for him.

(Side Note) - I love the way Dave and Rachel bond. Even though they are father and daughter, they both bring two completely different perspectives as adults. They represent multiple generations, yet they still come to the same truth, and it’s plain as day. No matter how much time changes, common sense is still the same, and love is still real. When two people have a genuine, strong bond, it shows. And I’m all for it. We need this so much in our culture today. 🙏

If you give in. It will never end. She will always control you. Run.

$10k, that's the MOST you should do son! And Dave is spot on with her attitude, if you give in then she will ALWAYS repeat this "do it or I'm gone" stuff and make your life miserable. I told my wife NO on a $43k timeshare and we were on PUBLIC assistance at the time 😂! Few years later we got divorced and man I'm so glad I said NO till this day! Stand your ground for your own peace of mind, just imagine when you guys have kids, it will only get worse! And you CANNOT LOVE ppl that put things above your relationship!

Leave her. Simple. Smfh. If she’s not good with simply getting married at the courthouse get rid of her.

Mr. Ramsey said it nicer than I ever could. My 18 year old son got a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates for his girl for Valentine’s Day, and he worried that she wouldn’t like the roses. I told him, “If she doesn’t, dump her.” She should be grateful that you remembered Valentine’s Day.

While it wasn't a wedding I remembered dating this girl about 15 years ago. We both lived in separate cities. She was living with her family, while I just started living on my own. We spoke about living together before getting marry. She was not getting along with her sibling and she wanted to move on her own. She asked me for 10k to find a place and move on her own. While I had the money I told her I was saving so we could buy our own place. Well she wasn't happy and told me that either I help her get her own place or she was leaving and I will never hear from her ever again. Right there I knew she was not the one and I didn't want to live with someone who at any time she hit a wall or going through hard time was going to threaten to leave me. So I told her that she could do whatever she wanted and I left her. My advice to him is to continue with your life and let her be, there are many other women out there.

Husband and I were both active duty and got married on post. It was a cute little wedding and I think we spent less than $150 with everything included. It's definitely doable, but she needs to want the marriage, more than the wedding.

You are wrong, Ramsey, a 16 thousand dollar wedding is out of line. That is almost 1/4 of each of their yearly wages. That is insane.

Dave opened with "great" and not "better than I deserve" !? Things were indeed not great 😂

OMG, the only Word he should tell that woman is Goodbye!!

It's not about the money, it's about the power dynamic. She's asserting her power and by giving in to her demands regarding the wedding she wants to have, that solidifies her power and it will never end.

16000 is a reasonably priced wedding???????????????? For who Dave you? Ridiculous price tag.

I'm Italian...parents pay for a daughter's wedding. If for some reason they aren't, its on the couple. Its all for nothing anyway...this woman uses threats to get what she wants and there is no other form of communication or compromise. I would move on.

$16K is not much but both of them are not making that much. Making $34k a year and spending $20k a year for a wedding is not reasonable for me😢

Next she will demand a big, expensive house!! Run dude!!

This actually breaks my heart for him. The fact that he is even working his brain this hard to make sense of this means he really cares… but they are not in the same page. She wants a wedding that’s 50% of her own income?!? They don’t make enough for a $16k wedding. That’s all there is to it. They just don’t have enough money.

RUN, DON’T WALK FROM THIS CAN’T WIN NIGHTMARE!!!!!!

Relationships are likely to fail for two reasons: fighting over money and inconsistent fighting styles. Here we have both.

I know people who had a very expensive fancy wedding, where both of their families got into debt to pay for it. And eventually they got divorced in 3-5 years. When we were planning our wedding with my loved one, we decided not to invite ANY friends, because once we’d invite someone, others would feel bad for not getting an invitation. So, we ended up buying a suit for him, a dress for me, and invited only my parents( his were outside the country) and a good photographer. We registered our marriage and had a dinner at a good restaurant in a very small circle. And an amazing photo session. So happy for the choice we made back then, almost 6 years ago.

If Rachel says she’s crazy, you should probably listen. Lol

Ridiculous. My husband and I were married in the city courthouse almost 30 years ago. Almost zero cost. Walk away buddy. Or let her Dad pay for it as tradition requires.

Daughter just got married in the U.K, paid £740 for the actual Wedding in a beautiful venue, then £2000 for the reception in another classy venue. Total including photos, clothes etc came to £3500.

I'd leave anyone who demanded like that. Time to exit left.

"Be a man and do it for her" that's unsettling. A real man keeps himself out of debt to help provide for his family now and and in the future!

The amount is way out of line for their income!

So they have the same yearly income, but she expects him to pay for 80% of the wedding when she’s the one pushing for an expensive wedding, knowing full well he just got done paying off some debts? Sorry, but that’s not a woman, that’s a parasite.

People who have the "dream wedding" tend to regret it. Run son! 😂😂😂 My husband and I went to the court house, because it is better to put that money towards a house than blow it on one day "impressing" others.

What a total spoiled brat… the type of women who’s like… “this is my wedding” and controls everything like it’s just HER special day. She’s gotta go. It’s not worth it bro.

"My Fiancée Is Demanding Her Dream Wedding Or She's Leaving!" If she puts more value on her wedding then on her relationships with you - walk away!!!

Take it from a guy that has been through this twice. Be respectful as you say goodbye

Let her walk...she's for the streets. She will ruin your life. She wants to be a bride not a wife

There are more red flags here than a carnival. 😳 I liked the part where *she* tells *him* that *he's* the greedy one. That's 100% gaslighting.

Don't get counseling for this issue? She needs to go. People that are doing this as adults are going to be causing you to go to counseling for your entire marriage. Same with if she can't say what she is thinking - she also needs to go.

What dave said 16k for a wedding is extremely cheap in 2024. However you have a right to not want to spend that money especially at a young age and on a low salary.

She’s not the one my guy, be financially secure, is more important than a wedding

She aint worth it. She's already choosing money and material things over him. Especially when she is complaining when she only puts 1/5 of the cost

I know we are in different country, but our wedding was 800 USD basically - 20 minute ceremony at town hall, lunch for 10 people, photographer, dress (just dress - not wedding dress) and rings...

If she isn’t happy with a marriage at a courthouse and a $20 rubber wedding ring then she doesn’t like you for real. There’s women out there who would take a cheap wedding and a better quality of life over an expensive wedding that will have you in so much debt that your quality of life will suffer trying to pay the money back.

I'd have dumped my fiance' in a heartbeat if she dropped those altimatums on me. I won't marry a disaster.

A $16k wedding can quickly become a $26k wedding when she tells the wedding planner you don't want to spend the amount she wants. Then the next thing you know they "forget" to tell you about the cost increases and you don't find out its $10k over until after the wedding. Also, don't cave to extortion. You will set the precedence and you will be extorted by her until you divorce her.

Seems like a huge red flag. Not so much that she wants a $16k wedding... but that they don't currently have $16k and she refuses to work with him to figure out how to save that money... and even worse... gave him an ultimatum that it is either exactly on her terms or she's gone. No compromise. No willingness to partner with her spouse to be to tackle the challenge of affording her dream wedding. IMHO that is a sign of awful things to come if he goes forward with her as his wife.

16k wedding is not expensive? he only makes 30k a year, some goes down for taxes, etc. it takes easily 1,5 year of disposable income from him, thats too much for 1day ceremony.

It’s not about the money, the debt, or anything else. If you can’t work this out TOGETHER, you have no business getting married! As a married couple, that’s what it’s all about...working as a team to figure things out. BOTH need to compromise!