I needed this story. I had recently broken up with my ex-girlfriend after dating for 6 years. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. I felt repulsed by sexual acts, but I love cuddling. It was thanks to my best friend after my breakup, I realized I am asexual. I was oblivious to the signs when I was younger, but looking back all these years later makes sense. I don’t need a sex partner, all I want is a lifelong companion who is like a best friend to me. That we both respect each other and share the same goals and can cuddle. I can relate to Robin in this story.

This made me cry!! Years ago, when I was a high school student who first discovered her asexuality, I felt broken. My best friend reminded me recently about a repressed memory I had, of going to her and sobbing that no one would ever love me. I think just being ace means you unfortunately go through a lot of self-hatred in the beginning. But everyone works through it, and finds romantic or platonic relationships, and it’s all good. But we’re still oddities in this world, so having videos like this that clear up stigma and talk about personal experiences are so powerful. Thank you 💕

If you can understand sex without love, then how hard is it to love without sex

Sometimes I don't even want to cuddle. I don't want to be touched. I'm staying single. It's not fair to the other person unless they are asexual too.

You don't have romantic feelings towards a friend. It is definitely not only friendship at all. I don't know why is that so hard for people to understand.

I am just crying right now. I am demisexual. And I have almost no sexual attraction. I just want it to be someone I love. The thought of sex makes me uneasy. I hope one day I find someone who treats me with respect and respects my boundaries and me. thanks for video

I identify as asexual and am currently dating a guy who isn’t. I discovered I was ace early in our relationship and I have always wrestled with doubts. He constantly tries to reassure me that he is content with the possibility of us spending our lives together without sex, but I know the things he likes and fantasizes about. I know he compromises the most in this relationship, as I’m almost always the one saying no to things. And I feel bad for it, even though I know its better that I don’t force myself to do something intimate that I don’t want to do. I constantly question if this will work out long term, if its possible for him to be happy with someone who is sex-repulsed. This video helped reassure me a lot. Hearing someone in the same situation. Hearing how they make it work. I helps me feel less of a burden.

I’m a Hetero-romantic Asexual. I don’t wanna have sex with anyone. But I still wanna find a partner from the opposite sex to love, to cuddle, to hug, to spend time with…

This made me extremely happy, these relationships needs to be more normalised and im so happy to see this change

I am asexual, but I’ve been coming to terms with it more easily due to the fact that I am also aromantic as well. I don’t find myself being interested in sex or romance due to the fact that I am just more introverted and have multiple disabilities. The fact that people don’t understand asexuality and what it is and how it impacts others really makes the world a harder place to live in. And guys, thanks for the likes. I appreciate it.

This is simply beautiful. I can totally relate to this as I am facing the exact same issue with my wife. It really compelled me to re-look at love beyond physical intimacy for sure! But hey, I have come to learn that a relationship can still flourish despite having no sex, despite the world glorifying sex and all. Kudos to Harper and Robin for sharing your story - rooting for the both of you to work it out towards marriage!

I'm a guy witha high libido and my girlfriend is asexual , it's probably one of the hardest relationships I have had. Everything else is there and I love her more than anyone I have ever met. But the constant rejection that makes her feel bad and then in turn makes me feel bad is something I'm struggling to deal with. At one point I stopped trying and was letting her initiate when she did want to. In the end she started to get upset because she noticed this and thought I was falling out of love with her. Only go for this type of relationship if the person is worth it because it is going to be alot of heart ache

This video is WAAAYYYYY more wholesome than the toxic comment section.

This really helps, I'm currently figuring out that I might be ace and I've been so stressed out thinking that I'm broken or that maybe I shouldn't be in a relationship because I find myself disengaged during intimacy - it's nice knowing that I don't have to be sexual to be in a relationship ⭐💜

For me sex is essential. As an avoidant I struggle to show love and let my wall down but can comfortably do it via sex and being intimate with a man. I gain closeness this way, I adore the connection and need it to feel close to my partner. It also lowers my anxiety, relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace.

just got into a relationship and im feeling so much guilt rn. but we agreed to communicate anything and everything with each other so he knows and he still likes me ^ ^

i never thought i'd see something ace-positive in sg, this was the best video ad i've ever gotten on youtube! i love this

I'm crying watching this. I think I'll use it as a coming-out video, if I ever do. You captured it perfectly.

I didn't know id be moved to tears when I clicked on this video because of how relatable EACH sentence is. I feel so relieved im not the only one in this situation :')

Happy to see local media bringing some much-needed awareness of our kind!

I recently started dating an asexual person, I really think I’m in love. I think if you find someone who is asexual who you like and you aren’t, it will just work out.

This was one of the best explanations of the challenges I've seen. Thank you.

Loved this story so much!!!! :”) the animation and sound design too…

I'm crying after watching this. I'm in a 5 year relationship and have been going through this same issue recently (as in me discovering I'm Ace) and I've been losing hope in my relationship, but this gives me hope that it can work out some how

Lucky you. With me, it was the other way around. My ex, with whom I was 5 years decided to break up with me, after we discovered I am Asexual.

I'm asexual and realising this about myself has been so freeing, but at the same time, I'm in a country where this kind of thing is so rare and unknown, I think especially for guys so lol I'm SO SCREWED when it comes to dating😂😂😂🙃🤣😭💀. I've never dated anyone yet, but I can see that even when I get into that world it'll be tricky.

It's fine as long a both people understand what is going on. It's when one partner hides being asexual until after marriage.

After almost two years my partner and I just found out she is ace. Honestly like you said, I’m really sad and I’m really confused right now. I don’t know how this plays out and I don’t know what I want to do anymore. Thank you for making this video tho, it helps a lot knowing someone else has been here and made it work before :)

I’m Harper and this made me cry. I love them so so so fucking much. I don’t know if I can carry on but I will keep pushing because they make me feel so loved and understood.

This save a big puzzle for me, great video thank you for helping me fine the answer!

this makes me so hopeful, I just really dont understand why people need sex, when it's just so...meaningless compared to countless intimate and sweet moments you can spend with each other. i like this allosexual friend of mine, and we have chemistry. he knows i'm ace but im scared he'll reject me because of it. i'll try anyway to confess and maybe compromise with an open relationship if he ever agrees... edit: i confessed today and he said yes omygODshdhdg our interaction became more wholesome than ever 😭

Dunno why every relationship has to circle around sex.

This relationship with asexuals is surprisingly easy. If you're asexual, this is pretty awesome.

They have a beautiful relationship ❣

This is so good !!

This is the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen.

I'm falling for a girl who recently confessed to me that she is Asexual. I'm not a very sexual person myself and can go months to years without being intimate with someone. I really hope she likes me because... I would be so happy to have her in my life forever. I guess time will tell.

I've had the blessing of being with my ace bf for a year and a half now, and i the story makes me feel seen. I'm gay, and probably his polar opposite. I try to tell myself that I have had my fill of sexual experiences before I got into this relationship, but there's days where I feel like I'm not good enough to elicit the kind of attraction from him that I've looked for in all of my previous relationships/hookups. It makes me feel hideous and very small; but I love him with all my heart, and he's assured me in his own ways of affirming that he loves me too. I'm not waiting for a crack in the armor for him to want to experiment, I just want to be there with and for him. He is so much more than just a body; he's a lover, dreamer, hard worker, and figure in my life who's helped me reconfigure the way I look at myself and the world around me. All i can work on is filling in these cracks of ways where I can feel beautiful without needing someone to validate it by being sexually attracted to me. The story warmed my heart and it is so refreshing to hear someone experiencing this odd yet wonderful dynamic as well

I know this shit gunna ba hard but fuck it we ball i love her so it doesn’t matter , it’s obviously not easy but i can’t imagine dating anyone else than her so i just got to accept it tbh

Happy for you both. I left my partner because I didn't want to cheat. I know myself, I cannot live without sex. I still feel guilty of my act but could not hurt her

Staying together is cute and all but what are we actually supposed to do when we want to kiss or have sex?

This gave me such a feeling of comfort I'm sobbing

I’m scared at the moment, my girlfriend I’ve been dating for a year has finally told me she think that she is asexual but she told me that she still wants to do it sometimes but it’s just not something she cares about that much, this is okay me and her are still young and I told her sex is not a big thing in the stage we are at it wont matter until we’re ready to start a family. The problem I am having though is she would cancel on spending the night often and I was so confused but I did understand because she is a manager who works 7 days a week and doesn’t get off til like 11-12 pm and so I could understand but it would happen so much I was confused till today, I don’t know how to ask if it was because she thought I just wanted to have sex when she spends the night because that would never cross my mind till now but it just made me even more confused cause most of the time we didn’t have sex and I just wanted to be with her cause I never get to see her and that’s why I am here, I know this is about her but I am low key feeling like it’s my fault and I’m not attractive and I made her feel like this , this has put me in a state where I can’t even stop thinking about it where it’s my fault maybe I made my favorite person in the world not attracted to me and it’s been stuck inside my head at practice and I feel like I’m not doing my job and I’m not happy with myself , I can’t thinking it’s all my fault.

This is so adorable

I'm asexual and I've never hated myself or thought I was broken, I actually feel really good about it and there's nothing wrong with me. I'm also biromantic, female and I realized I like women more but this is another thing I've never thought was bad about me. Whatever your orientation, love yourself and know there's nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong only with those who judge you!

I wonder if there is a way to detect this huge discrepancy when you're both in the dating phase. It seems like it usually only comes out after you have deeply committed in which case it requires a huge sacrifice on one person to try to make it work. Either that or the relationship dissolves, which hurts worse after all the time investment and deeper commitment.

Sian...... this very touching

I wish there was a book with all the answers to our thoughts

love this

"Knowing that you're not alone in this world" relationship or not,I'll never be alone. I got myself and that's all that matters.

My fiance has no problem with just cuddling if I'm not really feeling in the mood to be intimate He also always asks first and never makes me feel presured or uncomfortable about it I don't hate being intimate I just have q very low sex drive and I don't ever experience sexual attraction to anyone or anything

Love doesn't have expectations, Love can be happen with anyone without expectations so don't worry, Good hearted people will love you no matter what.

excellent video to normalise asexuality, maybe can explore on aromantism as well?

hi im a 17 yo girl and yeah im an ace heteroromantic,i've come out to a few persons i trust .well most of my friends are very supportive abt my sexuality but the problem is my family wont support me, thats why i havent come out to them yet bcs they think that asexuality is an illness,im very dissapointed.also i've ever met a guy at school,we were very close he even gave me a valentine gift,i was thought that we can be a great pairs, but i was wrong. he dumped me right after i came out to him that im an ace,and he tells me that "ace is good as a friend" aka he didnt want to date me or any ace out there.he broke me into a pieces.pls god i dont mind if i have an allo bf lol,i just want someone who can accept as i am. anyway thanks for made this video for us,its very meaningful,felt like i've find a home and i dont feel too lonely anymore. ilysm❤❤

Yeah good luck with trying to cope with that gap. Sadly it only grows bigger and more difficult to deal with as real life stomps on you every day. If you're stressed out from work, you would want a lovey dovey night with sexual relief from your partner for example. And if she just wants to cuddle, it's like getting blueballed and it feels even more awful every time. It's saddening of a life to deal with and makes you miserable on the long run. Life isn't a a canvas without problems where peace reigns.

This makes me feel so heard im crying

I am asexual romantic. I very want to find my one and only, but afraid to give my love to wrong person who will break my heart and hope for forever💔💔💔

I'm reaching out because I'm not asexual, but I think that my best friend is. We've talked about it a lot, and I think its something he is discovering about himself. My question, as someone who is not in this community, is how can I help? In the past, before I had a clue, I always suggested he go dating websites to get a feel, but now I'm not too sure. I just want to be there for him, but I don't how is the best to approach it, and I don't want to feel like I'm labeling him before he knows where his heart is. Any help would be appreciated.

Good story

Love you guys

❤ Beautiful!!

I love her❤️ no matter she asexual

If someone is asexuality and partners libido is higher always interested involving in sexual activities why put yourself in temptations better you look bird of the same feather's to flock together rather than burn with lust?

I started crying

Beautiful. :)

Sex is a just a foolish thing. I will appreciate the one who doesn't like sex and will never do.

It's called a friendship. Hahahah

Pictures of girl that I really like asexual, and I just want to see if there's even a possibility that she can still love love me back. This was hopeful to me.

I've been with my boyfriend 7 years he is an asexual and I am not. We have had conversations that has lasted hours. Disgusting how I feel and how he feels. We both love each other. He's my best friend and I feel like we're soul mates. But I have the sexual desire. Don't want to be ravished by him. He expresses the experience add Bean deeply in love with me. He has proposed says that I am his soulmate his best friend and then he will never want to be with anybody ever again. What does not have the desire. To be with me sexually. It is extremely hard for both of us.

I'm aromantic asexual. I can't even imagine how love can come from sex. I know other people are different but I think the solution is possible: communicate what we need and respect each others boundaries. Want sex? Communicate! Don't want sex? Communicate! Don't contain people in the bubble of what you want, let people be themselves

I feel attacked. This is literally my situation at the moment 😭

inspiring, but hard to find someone this understanding in real life. Most of them want sex and in times when people are cheating on their partners for sex, it is wierd to see this.

Being asexual girl everyone told me that finding a asexual male partner is impossible but i never give up becoz i believe love can happen without sex❤

Yes.

Dating an asexual results in more orgasms for me . Gf doesn’t care if I watch porn or take j/o breaks or if watching a sexy show if I rub one out and rewind a few times . She even points of women she thinks are my type to check out . Most comfortable relationship I’ve had

amazing

As someone who is questioning rather or not she is aromantic asexual, I could never allow myself to waste someone’s time like this knowing that I am not interested in sex and romance. As an Ace person, if you have no interest in sex or romance, stay single or find someone who feels the exact same way. Simple

Duh❤

Now im wondering if im bi,pansexual,asexual or aromantic I think im both pansexual and aromantic I've had a crush but no romantic feelings Just i want some children someday

I just found out that I’m on the asexual spectrum (grey ace, to be exact) and I related to this a lot. I’m crying right now.

Currently dating a bloke which it went from, he thinks we could have some sex, and then gradually, he’s been hinting about asexuality, and then today he’s just come straight out and said, you good if we do no sexual stuff. I love him through and through, and although that does muddle stuff up in my head, and I will need a bit to let everything set… I’m hoping it’s the right thing to do, just say, give me a few days to just sort things in my head, annddd then it’s all good

🎉🎉🎉

Sex without love exists and the reverse is true also. I’m asexual my partner isn’t. We’ve been together 13 years

Its not difficult if both,so i think i should find asexual like me

32M engineer here, looking for MOC if anyone in same requirements pl reply

Offc but in my experince not without cuddling.a good rommate right or whats happening

obviously! 🙄

I bet at least one of her friends would oblige !😏

I am an asexual boy and I am looking for a female asexual life partner 🌈❤️🧡

From my own experience: if you're asexual, please find someone confident in themselves and fairly well adjusted. I'm neither. Sex for me was a way of me not just showing my love but also filling a deep, empty hole in my psyche caused by a terrible childhood. Being married to an asexual person nearly destroyed me, and I nearly destroyed her, emotionally. We still talk, but the scars are very deep in both of us.

💜🖤🤍

I might be Demisexual

❤❤❤👍👍👍

Male Asexual from india looking for asexual girl.

I have a girlfriend and she really desire me but don't want to sin because she want us to get married first and planning of it by next year we are already 26, and 27 years old

So she is lucky because if she did not find him, she would be lonely, and he is compromising a lot here? I don't find it very equal in love. This looks like a one-way love. But eh, what do I know. You guys have figured it out.

I can understand being Asexual. But TURNING Asexual or "discovering" your Asexuality while in a relationship can come off as an excuse to not have sex. If I am in a relationship and my woman told me she was now Asexual, I would end the relationship. Even if you exclude no-fault divorce, sexlessness is a legal reason for divorce.

As long the other one has low libido, it will work.

No.

It is difficult to make a relationship work with mismatched sex drives. I recommend finding a person with a similar sex drive, otherwise one person will be unfulfilled. The premise that an asexual person has nothing wrong with them is not completely correct. If you have no sex drive or low sex drive, ask your doctor about it. It could be childhood trauma in which case there is therapy. It could be low testosterone in which case there is medication. Or it could be something else. Check it out before committing your life to a sexless life.