This is one of my all time favorite movies. Steve Carrell is brilliant. Everything about this movie is perfect. Let's talk about Dan's brother. Mitch is established early on as a shallow womanizer so that we CAN believe that he would get over Marie and Dan. He never really loved Marie, he loved an idealized version of her that he created. He's never actually been in love before and he is so caught up in his burgeoning feelings that he revels in this new idea of a perfect romance, not a day to day relationship. You see this in how he talks about her, when he basically calls her an angel or says his perfect day would be spent in a fantasy with her. He won't even use her real name, which she kind of resents, and he ignores her when she points it out. When they're at the bar, Mitch all but hits on Ruthie, a hot, seductive woman who in reality is obviously more his type. His response to Marie leaving him for Dan is to move on to another woman. Why? Is it because he's shallow, a womanizer? Or does he have his own pain he's running away from? Since his behaviors are established early on, it's probable that pain is deep-rooted and goes way back. He clearly idolizes Dan. Why? What about Dan prompts this? Does Dan represent the type of person he wishes he was? Was Dan there for him at a time when he needed him? I think his forgiving Dan is not just an aberration, I think there's something deeper there.

I really love this film, it’s probably my favourite Steve Carrell performance. I watched it at around the age when I started to understand what it was like for my dad to bring me and my sister up as a single dad.

And the music by sondre lerche just captures the feel of the characters sooooo well.

“Juxtaposition” might be the word you were looking for, where two things are put next to each other to emphasize how they contrast. Not commenting to correct you, just because it is a word that I really like that I rarely get to use!

3:47 To answer what I'm pretty sure was intended as a rhetorical question: there are those of us who are very confident and outgoing around people in general, even those that we are attracted to, but because of some sort of fear of rejection or whatever it is, the idea of someone that we are interested in finding out that we are in fact interested in them absolutely terrifies us, while we simultaneously need it to happen in order to find love. Hope that clears things up for you. Thanks for the great videos.

YES! I requested this movie awhile back after becoming a patron and the day is here! You da man!

This is easily one of my favorite films of all time. So sweet. Deeply a warming film without the hyper unrealistic stuff. It's like a warm creamy coffee in the morning on a Sunday kind of movie. I agree with your thoughts about the end. Maybe it just wasn't in Mr. Cook's range but the fact that the awkward tension in the family is resolved in maybe 3 short scenes undermines the film's premise, and makes the central conflict seem less important after the fact

I love romcoms specifically because they Are unrealistic. I get emotionally invested I movies I watch, and I just don't need more of real life when trying to relax, I want en easygoing break from it. It makes me happy then with magic-like love and predictable happy endings, well, usually. I sometimes wish there would be at least Some more healthy relationships shown, and I do really like this movie. I'm just saying that hating romcoms since they are so unrealistic confounds me, since they aren't really supposed to be realistic in the first place, I don't think. Anyways, that's just my take on things. Loved your analysis of this one! 😊

This is such an underrated movie! One of Steve Carrel’s best performances!!

The scene of him throwing the rock is just me normally when I'm at a rocky beach. Ha ha big rock go sploosh.

This was an unexpected but not unwelcome film discussion! I hadn't thought about it in a while so I rather enjoyed this reminder and exploration of the awkwardness, frustration, and overall imperfection of romance. Very glad to see you keep making videos!

I’m going to broke the Internet: I love Love Actually, but I get what you say. I’m not going to spew poison, in fact you made me want to watch this movie.

Another brilliant Rom Com, that is also quite unconventional, is Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. 100% my favourite Rom Com.

When you posted this video I was intrigued. I'm not ashamed to say that I like RomComs, but not all of them. I even liked; *_"Love and other drugs"_* - but yes that movie ended up tied up neatly with a bow... However, LAOD left me feeling _empty_ inside, because of the neat bow and because of knowing how debilitating Anne Hathaway's medical condition would become for them! But I saw your review of *_Dan in Real Life_* but paused it, wanting to watch the movie first. At the time I'd just finished an intents, but brief relationship with a girl who also liked RomComs. I watched the movie, but paused - deciding to wait until I got to watch it with her (under the delusion that we would get back together). Anyway, a few weeks ago, I decided to watch the movie and now your review... I found Dan's frustrations and reactions to be excessive - potentially for dramatic effect/comedy, although I didn't find it very comedic. Your review was fairly balanced and gave the movie a pass, where perhaps in hoping to watch the movie with my ex. (?) I may have placed a greater emotional emphasis/weight for that first viewing...

It's subtle, I watch it once a while because it help me relax.

I was curious what you'd say about this movie. I didn't really like it, but I think I just don't like any romance that's based on cheating or "stealing" someone from their SO. You made great points though and this is a really powerful character piece with understandable characters and frustrations. This was a great video, thank you. Also I must say that the soundtrack to Dan in Real Life is one of my favorites and I was sad I only heard it for like half a second in this video, but I guess we have to appease the copyright gods.

Dan in real life is actually my all time favorite romantic comedy- maybe its my only favorite romantic comedy- because it got a really good story and interesting characters. I totally agree with your view on " Love actually "- you only get a superficial insight into the characters - they are very bland. The Romcom genre, for me, is usually so cringe and with character who are just beautifull, but not really relatable, likeable or realistic. Love Steve Carell in "Dan in real life film" - I think his performance is touching and warm- and oh so funny. You really believe that Dan and Marie are each others perfect match. ❤❤❤

The big issue with rom-coms is that many tropes encourage toxic and sometimes dangerous behaviors. This wouldn't be bad (like blaming action or horror for encouraging violence) but it wasn't until recently that there was any education telling people that these behaviors are toxic. Up until the late 2010's they were the scripts to follow in terms of what you do and what you want. For example, showing someone stalking or verbally abusing their partner as romantic is toxic, but if you're young and inexperienced you think these behaviors must be ideal - why else would they be shown as such so often?

1st: no one talks about this film, at least in my circle. My parents and I cannot get the “you are the murderer of love” line out of our heads. I did not like how dan’s family treated him like crap most of the tome. They still love him, bit they yell and belittle him a lot which I did not enjoy. I like how he finds solace in Marie in a realistic way. They are each other’s equals despite only knowing each other for a weekend. At least bis daughters understood him in the end and respected him in the end. Lily always did, but bis other two daughters took some time.

Interesting essay! A few of your issues with romcoms feel a little bit like bad luck with the romcoms you've seen -- things like family as a central theme and focussing on the characters are fairly common in romcoms -- but the film medium definitely isn't the strongest for this. I find romantic movies tend to fall into the tropes more and can rush character development, whereas novels or TV shows have more room to breathe and let a relationship develop over time. Some of it is down to cultural tropes, too -- Western shows rarely let a series revolve around the relationship, there's always more action-focussed stakes, and sometimes the plot beats are just painfully obvious ('oh hey, it's the Big Miscommunication before the Dark Moment, here we go'). There's some exceptions, like procedural shows, but even those tend to focus more on the crime-of-the-day with the relationship as background. And then on the other hand you have Chinese dramas like The Untamed and Word of Honour which entirely revolve around relationships and characters. The action is still there, and just as high-stakes, but the character gets to be central and it really feels different to watch!

This is exactly the type of movie I'd expect this channel to cover. Also worth noting that this was my first time seeing Steve Carell showing some depth to his acting for me and I liked it so much that I had to follow him to other roles like Crazy, Stupid Love, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and seeing that throughline straight into movies like The Big Short were really fun.

I'm also not a massive fan of romcoms, but I do like Steve Carell so might give this a watch. Great vid as always

Hard to be believe it’s been 15-16 years .. the movie was well made I would think it was made yesterday

I hate to break the 69 comments (nice), but this is one of my favorite films and you did a great job capturing why. I would be curious to see your take on Crazy Rich Asians

Just wanted to say thsnks for the amazing content you hit us with

oooh I really like what I can see of this movie's aesthetic! Great analysis as always, I really want to watch this now

It is so good to hear someone whose thinking I respect say the truth about Love Actually. Ugh. Will check this movie out.

This movie looks really good. Totally adding it to my to-watch list.

It is great getting to hear you sound more relaxed and upbeat, showing more of your personality. I guess you are getting more comfortable behind the mic. 😊

I like your vídeos and your voice, ill watch this later!

I thought this must be a new movie, as I've never heard of it, but it came out in 2007! Well, I guess I'm not up on rom coms. Lol. I've seen Love Actually once, and that was enough for me. There are a few movies in this genre that I love: While You Were Sleeping, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Something's Gotta Give, As Good As It Gets, Moonstruck, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Of course, two of my all-time favorite movies are The Princess Bride and Groundhog Day, which are classified as rom coms. I'll stop and watch any of these movies if I'm channel surfing and they're on tv. Thanks for the recommendation! I'll go check out Dan in Real Life if it's on Netflix. :)

After a second recent viewing, I found the film more endearing and compelling. During my first viewing, I was irritated with the treatment Dan received from his family. His daughters, sure but his mother putting on the dryer in the room he's sleeping in... a little too on the nose to emphasize the loneliness and she's established as a kind mother so this is out of her character. One thing I noticed, and appreciated, there were no cliché, over-the-top, rom-com confessional speeches. When the newspaper father and daughter show up to talk about syndication, there is no obligatory speech announcing the film's themes. That scene is summed up with a few words where Dan says he should be reading his own column, that is, the advice he divvies out to readers is not quite something he's registered himself. Nothing else, The family is upset him. His brother. It is uncomfortable and succinct. Meanwhile, later on, the 'rush to' scene... no confessional. Perfect. These are the moments when the filmmakers imply just enough and respect the audience. Otherwise, the talk with his daughters, which I suppose is a quasi-confessional (not extravagant), I agree didn't quite make the landing. It was a bit rambling and out there. Similarly, the daughters, the two oldest especially, don't seem to grow as characters which could have been handled better. It would have been nice if Binoche's character could have applied some wisdom so they could respond later to their father with more compassion as opposed to the typical teenage 'Well, duh!' And Love, Actually... it is overrated. It is a film if you watch it with a critical mind makes you uncomfortable. I doubt it will age well whereas I see people coming back to Dan in Real Life.

Random shout out for the oot opening theme in the background ❤️

I kind of put this is the same category as the movie "the family stone". I would really love to hear an essay on that. Very curious. 😊 Thanks for the content. Really love it

So. I like Rom coms, they’re my comfort food. Shrek, The holiday, 50 first dates, Whispers of the heart, Your name, Bridget Jones, Pride and prejudice, every Disney princess movie. Unfortunately I grew up with this all being my ideas of how love should be. In real life I only knew power dynamics relationships. I still like this movies. But now I know that love is built with trust. I haven’t found a partner, I still have to break free of some stuff. But I guess this movies remind me of how great it feels when you find that intimacy with someone in hope someday I feel a connection and build it with someone, as awkward as it may be.

Hello. Big fan of the channel, I watched your whole series about Good Will Hunting and the one about Dead Poets Society. Great pieces, really thoughtful. I was wondering if you had seen the therapy scene in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier? Maybe you could do an analysis video of that? I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts about the psychology of a superpowered, 150 year old war veteran. And about how that Therapist handled the situation in general. I felt she did pretty decent, given the circumstances. I've seen people saying that she was a terrible shrink, and I disagree. Sure, she used a sterner, more commanding tone than you would normally expect, but this wasn't really a normal case. And, in the end, she did manage to get Bucky to open up (it's a very touching scene at the end there, really).

Love is an illusive form of magic 😊👍

I noticed there's no video essays on The Ugly Truth. I'm a fan of your content, and wondered if you could talk about that movie! 😊

Nice.

Try the show "You're the Worst". It's a hilarious romcom show about toxic people that breaks a lot of the cliche's.

I'm sure someone has this request in the comments. So I'm just going to add my vote. Please please please analyze 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'!!! I feel there are so many characters to focus on individually or interchangeably. And omg so much on attachment and what we struggle thinking love is supposed to be. Please please please if just for your entertainment as well. 😊

This is my favorite movie ❤️❤️

Please do Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind at some point!

Legend of zelda song caught me by surprise

I love this film.

One of my fav flicks. Keep it up!

dude yes, this is literally one of my favourite movies and one of the movies that made me realise that Steve Carell is a great actor (the other 2 being Big Short and Vice)

If you liked this, you have to watch "People, places, things." Also: finish the Good Will Hunting series! :)

Good stuff :)

One of the only romcoms I watch

haven't seen this movie, but yeah great point on the unrealism of rom coms.

I think, that it is not your place to say how you would have written the lines better, but to understand/explain why he said what he said. He concentrates on his love for her. He doesn't have to reassure the girls of his eternal love for their mother. She has been dead for four years. He is alive. Whatever they had, they honour it while she was alive. You say you do not like rom-coms, so why would you prefer such a rom-com discourse like I will always love your mother? Again, why should the brother choose to be heartbroken? He has a beautiful girl waiting in the car. Life goes on. Make the best of it, because it is short.

I love Steve Carell

I honestly felt so uncomfortable while watching this film. The concept of being forced to interact with someone who’s being passive-aggressive at you, for you not being able to return their feelings strikes way too close to home for me to be able to see it as funny and not incredibly stressful, lol! 😂 I’d be interested to know if other people who’ve repeatedly been in this situation as well were able to enjoy the film or not.

Putting this out here: my two favorite romances of all time are the romance subplot of the Peter Wimsey series by Dorothy Sayers and the romance subplot between Faramir and Eowyn in Return of the King (the book). I highly recommend both.

Finally a new video!

I think it makes sense that his brother got over Marie so quickly, because it highlights the differences between the brothers. The main guy (can't remember most of the names lol) had been depressed and focused on his late wife for years, whereas his brother seemed to always have a new girl. This added to the frustration, because it felt like he didn't appreciate what he had as much as the main guy would have, or perhaps he hadn't valued relationships enough to have "earned" one that was deep and real? Obviously that's abstract, but I hope it makes sense. Good and interesting take overall!

Don't forget to like the video

I despise rom-coms. They've given so many people a false sense of what love and human interaction actually look like. The only two movies I can stand are Singles and Love Jones. Love Jones, specifically, has tropes. But it calls them out. Sometimes tropey things happen. Sometimes they don't. Life happens.

I can't believe how many people seem to love this movie. But then again people think the titanic was a good love story too. Like Marie is introduced into the movie as cheating. And then because the main character is loveable were supposed to root for him actively trying to seduce and steal away his brothers first love? And it finally happens and we applaud it? I can't wrap my head around this one.

I would do anything to hear you make a video about Brokeback Mountain

Great film

I always had a soft spot for The Holiday because it was nice to see a guy like Jack Black that may not be the most concentionally attractive guy be a serious love interest for one of the main girls. Usually they have the "fat, funny guy" be with an attractive girl, but the guy will always be like a loser or asshole? I don't know which trope to call it, but you know what I mean. You're all smart. However, my all-time favorite rom-com is 10 Things I Hate About You. Honestly, it's because it's Heath Ledger and those bits of slice of life shit I just crave, haha. Anyway, I'll have to check this one out. I actually love the idea of rom-coms, or rather I just like romance in general. Yet, I get it. I don't like most romance comedies because it's not my taste. I want something genuine and not forced. It's kind of the reason why I love light novels or fanfics. I can pick my personal taste more easily.

not always keen on rom coms as I find them entirely unrealistic in a not on purpose way. I like romantic Farces however like "Whats Up Doc?" or Oscar. I enjoyed X +Y that was really good I found though not entirely just a rom com. My problem is I find its not the sort of thing thats likely to happen to me but at the same time it looks like a real life scenario. I dont mind romance in films but not as the films specific driver.

Amazing. Plz do conversation with other women

Watch "When Harry met Sally"

Currently watching right now, and its so hard not to cringe lolll

I'm not a huge fan of Rom-Coms either. They are pretty contrived, especially the ones where the couple get mad at each other and split up, but realize they love each other and get back together through some silly situation.

Yeah but, is any movie genre totally realistic. Other than documentaries maybe

When I watch rom-coms I just imagine it’s not happening in the real world. Like it’s some simulation for aliens, made by aliens trying to show what humans are like.

I like a good Rom-Com and I hate Love Actually

5:24 Juxtaposition

You're right, Love Actually is creepy and problematic

About Mitch bouncing back as fast as he did... It was established that he's kind of a superficial and opportunistic romance chaser. Marie wasn't his one and only love. He had the established habit of moving from one girl to the next. So, of course he moved on after Marie at lightspeed. Ruthie Pig-Face Draper was available, gorgeous, and well-off. She was likely a much better match for Mitch than Marie ever would have been, and given the time, I think they both would have realized it. Marie would have seen through his shallowness. Mitch would have gotten restless for new romantic ventures. Dan did them both a favor by ripping off that "bandaid" quickly.

Do you think internalized misogony plays into your dislike for romance films? I believe you that the foreseable plot and the glorification influence your opinion, but have you really taken the time to ask yourself if it could also be affected by our sexist society telling us 'everything girls/ women like is dumb'? just asking. Because even me - a woman and a feminist for years - am guilty of devalueing romcoms for that reason, while enjoying comedies (with even easier plots and glorifications of other shit) accepted by a male audience.

Enough with Love Actually!!!! You spent way too much time talking about it! Dan in real life is a very.underrated movie.