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​@@suvarnajoy2879 try again... It worked for me and others.

Thanks big bro

narc will never show you who they are, especially when you are the narc's supply or flying monkeys. else u won't be their supply, would you?

​@@spaideman7850well that's where your intuition comes in😊

@@sandramirekuayim1161 unfortunately most people already lost their intuition long time ago. if i'm not bitten by a venomous narc, i will continue to think naively that everybody is good, especially those who went to church often and 'help' people and 'love' children.

@sandramirekuayim1161 If a person is raised by Narcissistic Abuse, their brain and body systems get Developmentally Damaged to have it UNSAFE for our systems to tap into ANYTHING for our OWN well-being, including Intuition and self-worth... NO child abuser sees ANY use in allowing that, because it works against their dehumanizing of their targets. I am very grateful to be in times where this is all getting better understood and medically clarified by neuro-biological and developmental sciences. It has been a lifetime of feeling inept when ppl victim-shame abuse-survivors expecting us to just CHOOSE to "love ourselves first," "listen to your Intuition/ gut," "believe people when they show you who they really are," "know Red Flags are actions not matching their words..." With COMPLETE DISREGARD for how foreign and DANGEROUS that is for systems raised under violent ramifications any time an abused child dares to try to tap into any of that. Unfortunately, it takes professional Trauma-informed interventions to work through ways to replace that programming of our long abused systems' forced firing and overuse in ways not neurotypically or developmentally ideal or natural (nervous, poly-vagal, hormonal, somatic, respiratory, parasympathetic, cardio-vascular, + + as well as the inherent epigenetics). Even us Truthtellers and "premature launching" runaways from the decades before any of this was understood STILL come away with physiological and psychological blocks and gaps to being able to SAFELY know, explore, and backfill developing this, because even though we can tell and prove to our thoughts that we ARE safer, and our own autonomous adults, our subconscious and survival mechanisms have been too long jammed- from our starts- into hypervigilence (until we crash into burned and burned-out dissassociative hypo-vigilence tolerance incapacities). Our systems are all wired for emotion BEFORE cognition... In teachers' college, that was one of our first lessons. If emotions are ramped or crushed/ depleted- for better or worse- our systems do not optimally learn/ think. Abusers keep targets in a constant state against the ideal calm needed to think clearly about our well-being, let alone any other personal wants of autonomous value. SO many people have NO clue what we are up against when one is Developmentally Damaged and brainwashed from your start in life AGAINST having SAFETY (let alone encouragement) to develop those privileged neurotypical ideals. Hopefully the actually trauma-impact data will increase such key awarenesses of these realities over such assumptions that anyone can just choose to over-ride Developmental Abuse by heeding clichés flung at us.

.......the first time.

Oh I'm still in awe to this day. Wouldn't wish a narcissist experience on my worst enemy but my eyes are surely open to what exists now. I choose to see what I went through as a super power now.

😢​@@HealedChakras777

@@HealedChakras777”people”??😂👹💩🎃💀🤡🤣🤣

@@HealedChakras777oh I would😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When people insult you realize it's them projecting their fears and their emotions on to you, what people use to insult and shame, what they acuse you of is exactly what they have done or how they feel of them self, the best reaction is two options One : " I love you" and smile *they can't except kindness or love and it's almost an insult to them Two: " I'm sorry you feel that way, it must be exhausting to go around using all that energy to be that angry, I feel sorry for you" and walk walk away, but privately keep in mind how evil they are, fake empathy and kindness towards them and you will always come out on top especially in public

@juliet8678 When someone FREEZES after triggers you describe, like not knowing what to say to stand up for oneself, or rationally discuss things for adult-to-adult fair clarity, my Trauma Therapies have taught me that that is because our Child selves Survival Traumas have been triggered by feeling UNSAFE, so the primal Limbic Survival INSTINCT parts of the brain kick-in, shutting down younger/ later-developed more complex Brain functions like reasoning & diplomacy, to PROTECT you. Those oldest brain systems don't have upgrades from later developing brain areas to know the difference between a physical beating attacking you, or someone just being petty and mean with words projecting their toxicity onto you... It takes professional Trauma-informed help to heal that and gap-fill to help our brain parts upgrade and align to undo such developmental abuse damages. There are many options, plus even free online supports, groups, and videos if people can't afford and access 1:1 therapy sessions. Also, look up most effective Trauma Therapies, because there are a few VERY different types, including ones that don't even require a lot of rehashing history... RTT, EMDR, Tapping, EFT, CBT & DBT, IFS. You never deserved this... None of us deserve to have our well-being and quality of life treated as less equal to others'... Took me 50 yrs to START learning this!

I totally felt the same way, shocked, frozen, complacent. It's meant to short circuit your mental capacities and nervous system. Crush your soul so you'll keep taking the abuse as it gets worse and worse over time.

I dreamed of being cheated on twice even with the name in my dream & ignored it. Head heart attacks and chest pain, weight gain without any reason, thank gut he discarded me like I’m no one on Valentine’s Day 😑

Same here! I didn't listen to my gut intuition and got married for all the wrong reasons. I summed it up as having "cold feet" while my gut was doing back flips. But, I learned a lot along the way.

@ basantidevi8185, same here. Not only that in my case others stopped me too but I went by intuition.

never ignore your intution, its a voice from god/higher inelligence

@@dZeNa.I love you for being so brave and smart.

Omg .. I had the same experience. He was a covert narc. Covert narc comparing to other (more obvious) types harder to recognize right away. Good thing that you realized that and left! 💪🏻

Clear our. Don't go back. They are the Devil in a meat bag. GODSPEED !!!!!!!!!!?

It took me 50 yrs of cycling with trying to help such people to learn: 1) not ALL abused people are wanting or having capacity to value healing options and better-together solutions... Many are addicted to negative-attention-seeking in victim problem-fixated dramas. 2) SOME Narcissistic Abusers MIRROR ppl they meet by LYING and saying they went through abuse/ Trauma/ Betrayals too... Then Love-Bomb and Hoover fast tight us-against-all Trauma-Bonding... Now, I am being more cautious and discerning with such seeming "kismet" connections. 3) Abuse doesn't only create very caring people who don't want the same for others... Abuse can also create Narcissistic Abusers, and emotionally unavailable people, too. 4) Love and time can't heal others who don't authentically value mutual well-being to best make use of opportunities of sharing love and time. 5) ...that I had to start valuing MY well-being and energies as equal to others' because I kept getting burned and burned out- thanklessly (I took a group tx Healthy Boundaries course that was pivotal). Honestly, I am so happy that you and others figure such out earlier in life... Sure wish I had! Keep sharing your awareness regardless of when you learn such key gap-filling in your life... That's one key way to help spare others sooner, so this is not as prevalent, and the Narcissistic Abusers are not so under the radar more and more!

Lucky you 👍

Heal yourself. Love yourself Get to Church or Ronald McDonald houses. Penelope house. Salvation army. Call 911 and ask for help. Don't try to tough it out by yourself. Get some help. !!!! ! GODSPEED !!!!!!

Absolutely, no respect for boundaries. Boy have I learnt my lesson about NO. Now quite prepared to take legal action or abuse Narc's who won't accept No as a response. Believe me saves a lot of time, money and stress.

❤

The over explaining and over sharing is your childhood trauma showing through.

Why?

It’s hard to stop those things! It takes time and patience with yourself, I still have a tough time with not saying “I’m sorry “. Amazing coworkers are helpful to me and I’m much more confident about myself. We’re unlearning these behaviors, not easy or quick and definitely cringey at times. But we’re doing it so yay! Good luck to you, stay strong 💪 ✌🏼👍💜

Yes, I agree with you and this me

We must be related. Lol

My goodness, what on earth?

it is so sad when your Prayers go unanswered 😔 talk about over thinking 🤷🏼‍♂️but we know God has a plan for us that we at times can never understand. so glad your free. 3 years for me 🙏🏼. Hallelujah, and I will never lose my faith

@@heyoldman2003 thank you so much for your kind words I hope you have an amazing life we need more good-hearted people out in the world like you

We are at the same point, been divorced 13 years, the best thing I have from him are my children!

Glad your prayers were answered amen 🙏

Right there with you! People don't understand why I'm completely through with relationships. I married mine twice! I fell for it again! I can't trust my judgment. My stepfather was also a narcissist. They gravitate towards me. Now, I'm shut off. I had friends I had to let go of too. The purge came after my third marriage. He left me after 11 months. The healing has begun. God is still good! I'll pray for you right now.

In hope of change we ignore the red flags. Damn right. I just flew to another country to meet a guy i met 4 months ago. We spoke txt video called morning and night txt for 4 months. For 10 days we never kissed property, he had sex after 4 days of me being in this other country, he actually did not look at me. Eye were closed... We never went out to a cafe or a bar or a walk in this beautiful city even though my air bnb flat was just next to his flat. He also never stayed the night .. My stay was all about if he comes and what time. He would drop by annanouced or come at 1am. But then I would get jewelery , food shopping for a week.. But then on my last day he would get angry that i met some neighbour next to me when I was waiting all saturday for him and left for a walk with then at 11 40 pm.. I was guilt tripped for that alao for ownig own business and having own life. I do not have to mention he was sexy as hell. My peace was gone throughout this 10 day visit. Second day when he came to see me he actually started shouting at me in a car. I left immidietely and cried after being alone in a foreugn city. I just wonder if I encountered and run away from a narcisistic relationship

@@orianam9835Yes you did, I hope you saved yourself. I hope you can imagine you were not the only one he was doing the same thing. You know what a player is?

It’s so true! In retrospect, most of us notice their odd behaviors since the beginning. We just choose to give them a chance because they are so good and mirroring us that we think they have the same intentions as us

To that I've been met with "what's wrong with him, is he going crazy? He's pushing everyone away!" No I'm reclaiming my sanity- thank you very much!

Don't forget family of origin . Society sanctifies the family system yet an egregious amount of abuse stems from within the family system.. Millions of children ending up in foster care or "juvenile" societal systems. Why? Of course the scapegoat is lucrative to sick minds wanting to transfer their sins and sicknesses on. Peace

Thank you for posting as your words helped my floating thoughts to settle. Experiencing much of the same, have just started to learn how my childhood trauma shaped me, the whole thing is so insidious. Having a Blindspot for my parent, but these videos and comments are helping me to adjust to the sad reality

All you said is💯

Literally that. If they come across as disingenuous that's a red flag.

Dump the zodiac,

Great list. I like being 68, because I always meet much younger men; it’s easy to say “Oh, I’m way too old for you.”

Hope it was a big hit.

That’s the blessing of having a physical flaw. The creep will throw it up to you right off the bat; point out that most folks wouldn’t want you! Ha!

Wow, sure hit the nail on the head there ! I love all the little creatures, feeding the birds, the squirrels...etc.. I'm,also, a narc magnet.. As someone once told me, kindness is seen as weakness...Go figure ! 😟

Yep! If you're giving out a warm vibe and let your guard down then horrible people will try to inch their way in. It can lead to very uncomfortable exchanges, especially in strange places, as in holiday destinations.

@@jbrown2908 stop saying that shit they didnt do the best they could when they didnt even try lol

@@jbrown2908 Thats a very invalidating, gaslighting, belittling response. I hope you understand that as a fellow narc survivor. Of course, I have thought of that. Rumination is a basic trauma response. Self-doubt and accommodating the needs of the family first and foremost is the norm as the scapegoat. Why would that not cross my mind? Please also consider that if they do not have knowledge of their own behavior they won't be capable of kindness and giving respect to others at all, stranger, everyone but you. EVEN IF THAT'S PERFORMATIVE, it shows that they are capable of deciding whether to treat person well or not. I have experienced the potential of that myself. They are completely aware of how they are treating you, I tested that and see it with my own eyes. you can never get any closure and have any productive discussion with any narcs ever and I needed closure and certainty. Believing that BS will only lengthen the process of our recovery. I am highly empathic to a fault, I don't even have to try to consider others and understand them from their POV. In fact, have to work on being selfish and considering my own needs first to heal and get to this point. We are victims and they harmed us intentionally, thats necessary to acknowledge for us to heal.

@@jbrown2908 I'll do it but not in public; I'm tired of being harassed. I need to take care of my own. I'm all by myself and learning to set boundaries while dealing with smears campaigns.

True. Every school & colleges should be taught about mental health subject at very early age. Healthy relationship, narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder & mental health disorder.

Same... Wish I had understood plus learned to value my well-being as equal to others' BEFORE age 50, and many tough draining patterns cycling... Learning to teach my systems to feel SAFE with valuing ME and Healthy Boundaries with professional Trauma supports... So grateful awareness and supports are improving and increasing. 🙏

You are not FLAWED... You probably had those gaps conditioned in harsh ways into your subconscious and other systems when coping as best you could, in times and environments where this kind of awareness was blocked or devalued. I am so glad you and all of us are learning to reclaim our equal rights to well-being and fulfilling individuality. 🙏💞🦋

@@sarahcinnamonthriving9563 Thanks for saying that. I am learning so much here. I think It stems from my childhood where The conditioning was to be nice and please my mother/ elders, so that they would be proud of me. This past year has been a teacher. My eyes are open now.

@soleil25mm You are definitely not alone, and I only started learning all this around age 50! Like you, I had a lifetime of such draining hurtful imbalanced connections. I became disabled, and all the Users bailed... It was painful... I lost nearly everything that I had worked so hard for, all the while giving and sharing so much with others, who didn't reciprocate when I actually needed caring, too, for a change. Having to take care of my own severe well-being needs- AFTER so much of my resources had been wasted on others- has been a harsh set of lessons, but finally forced me to learn to value my well-being as equal to others' - especially in finding out no one else was. I also came to realize that I had built my self worth and "adult" identity/ roles on doing for others, and I have learned that I didn't know how to be alone separate from serving others, nor to feel safe and valid to do things that just resonate with me, like for fun, or my recharging... I would get major panic attacks, guilt, sense of doom, and huge anxious restlessness... I learned that this is because I was raised to get beaten every time I was not doing something "useful." My systems got conditioned to feeling unsafe if I wasn't being dutiful. So believe me, I get where you are coming from. Just know that unless someone is deathly ill perhaps, your well-being is otherwise a non-negotiable EQUAL right to anyone else's. 🙏🦋💞