Break The Trauma Bond Course: www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

In the beginning of your relationship, everything feels so grand like your floating on cloud nine. The phone calls are frequent and consistent. The affection and passion is there. The warmth is there to the point you start to fill comfortable, vulnerable and transparent. Then in a blink of an eye your partner switches up on you and starts neglecting you of the basics things you need in a relationship. Your partner starts to do the opposite of what you saw and felt in the beginning. Everything starts to dimish on your partner's end....Affection, Conversation and Intimacy is withheld from you. Then your partner lashes out on you for bringing up your concerns in your relationship, and says you're the one with the problem. Then later on in the relationship you find out that your partner is entertaining other people while the whole time your self esteem becomes affected and you end up developing anxiety because you don't want to cause narcissistic injury. Protect your mind, body and soul. Love yourself❤

Sex with a narcissist is soulless ….😔

Narcissists are such broken people who need years of therapy but refuse to get help.

It's always sex with a narc, it's never making love..

Absolutely no emotion. Robotic sex. The lights are on but no one is at home.

Omg 😲 the wanting sex straight after a fight ...they are sick.

And that's why staying alone is the best

There’s always something negative with the Narcissist, they need control 😫🙄😩

1. After we got "married," he stopped holding hands, kissing, hugging, and talking. 2. He does not like "it" with another human. Only he can "satisfy himself" via porn. 3. He NEVER initiated; constantly rejected me. 4. When he experiences a "malfunction," he blames me. 5. He expects me to do what a porn actress does, but I have not viewed porn. Never will. 6. He reserves "it" for anniversaries only, but five anniversaries have gone by with nothing (thankfully). 7. I feel strange "being with" such a sick-minded, disordered person. 8. Imagine how shocked I was when I found out he committed adultery! The cognitive dissonance attacked me on that one. 9. I had to add this to the list. I just remembered that, out of nowhere, he gave me an "electronic device" in the shape of a male's ***** for Christmas! I was mortified! I reacted in a way he didn't like. I threw it in the garbage. Now I realize he probably got it for himself.

They're hell on Earth.

It’s like kissing a dead fish!! Hugging him feels like I’m hugging a tree! & freakishly quiet! Not a peep! Not even breathing sound!

I experienced marital rape several times. It destroys the self esteem. They see you as an object.

Also ‘bait n switch’ they act different pre commitment . Evil egocentric monsters.

He wanted sex almost every day (if I wanted or not)and it was very painful for me because he was agressive. He put me in humilated positions. After I fled from him to another state I never wanted to deal with sex anymore. It feels like everything is broken from inside.

Yes, “used” is exactly the right word.

They want sex when we want to sleep! I thank God for every day i am away from the devil itself! I thank you also Danish for helping me heal ❤❤

Mine started refusing long kisses, cuddles and basically all physical contact outside sex including hand holding and blamed me for wanting those things like there’s something wrong with me!

Robotic and empty and shallow! With my x-narc of 4.5 months! So grateful and thankful we're over!🙏❤️🙏💜

In my case, my ex husband hated my beauty and the attention I get without doing norhing , just being myself. He saw himself as an ugly man and tried to dim my light, confidence, leaving me in the cold, in the dark, betrayed my trust , allowed third party to destroy. The pain reached a point that I decide to take care of my body, dancing, practising sports and began studying about toxic relationship and see I was dealing with a covert narcissistic person. I am trying to heal from traumas. He made difficult to separating because he did not want me to rebuild my love life. However I cut him off and the mask and lies appeared. Good vídeo. It was extremely painful to be with sex life, being a good person. God will bring a healthy love. Thanks for the message.

Absolutely to the point. 40 years of marriage . When I reach a burn out from work, and needed time for myself to recover, I finally stopped the madness, of being a vessel for his needs. he threatened to find another woman. Lots of porn, and wanting me to perform these fantasies. He looked for other women, of course it was my fault , he had to, since I did not satisfy anymore. I left him. He has a new woman now, my life has improved so much. I was a toy.

I agree with you! But the worst thing that you can is have a child with such people. You are stuck with them for life. It like a life sentence that you can not get away from. Thank you so much for your Channel.

Thank you, Danish. Yes, I felt so objectified. It felt like my ex-N's unspoken motto was "slam, bam, get out of my way ma'am. I have things to do and they don't include you."

So true...they are heartless..

Wow now I understand why he rejected me all the time and then flipped it back on me when I didn't come onto him because I didn't say the right words. The silent treatment and the lectures that would happen when I didn't do or say something right. He controlled it all and made me feel like it was all my fault and I couldn't do anything right. Sex was the #1 thing we fought about. Thank God I am out of there and I am safe.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

Thank you for addressing this topic. I have experienced these issues but was too ashamed to reach out for help because I thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until many years later when I experienced healthy, intimate, emotional connection with a loving partner that healing happened. I am grateful my partner was patient with me and kind. Now I understand what real love is.❤❤😊

My husband the narcissist when we got a divorce we had to see a psychiatrist 1 time first, in the court papers it said my husband was unable to BOND with anyone, including his wife and his own children. And that's how it was. But the court gave him the custody, which was punishment for me, but now at 35 yrs. Old my sons are scarred as adults and still talk about their trauma. I cried on.the phone with them because I am not over the trauma yet either and it's been 2 decades.

I agree. Until I found out about narcisissim, I date several of them and even married one. They DO NOT LIKE TO KISS. Maybe that's considered too intimate for them.

This is 100% my husband. Even holding me down and forcing my legs open. It's like you're talking about him in such great detail.

Wow…..this is exactly what I’m dealing with 😮. I knew my spirit was telling me these things but I keep making excuses…trying to understand him. This is 💯 % confirmation. Thank you for sharing 😢 as I shed my last tear…I feel so empowered to do what I need to do FOR ME, MY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT ❤❤❤

I always thought my narc sister had a mental problem but when I heard that she slept with her therapists husband, I knew. What you said the other day, Danish, did something wonderful for me. You talked about the empath having feelings of dying early. I'm 72 and since I hit 70 I started thinking about giving away all my belongings because I wasn't going to live very long. Your message shook me out of that brain damage! I'm extremely healthy, haven't been to a medical doctor since 1980, I have a great, happy marriage, and I wasn't focusing on God's blessings of good health and a great life and I was planning my demise. What a waste of the past two years. Thank you, Danish . . . . . . WOW . . . . . thank you.

They like to hide behind sunglasses don’t want anyone see their soul

Completely valid. There is no connection on any level. The only way my marriage made sense was when I was miserable, he was happy. When I was happy, he was miserable. No win. Now, how to recognize if anyone ever shows me genuine affection?

Ah yes. My ex-husband and his porn addiction and then, the cheating. I was too thin. I was too fat. I was too everything. He was never happy.

1,000% on point. It’s scary how many people can relate to this sad unfortunate situation. I’m finally free from this bondage. He has another victim to toy with. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I’m not alone.

Yes I saw that devil come out and believed in evil spirits ever since!

Demeaning, cruel, controlling, rejecting, demanding, critical, just nasty. My ex wanted sex after hours of abusing me. It turned him on; I wanted to pacify him. Sometimes he hurt me. Sadist. Even when you're sick. Horrible human beings. I am so happy to be free.

This explains a lot about my former Husband he didn't make love he had sex. It was always the same, to the point of being robotic. Plus we only kissed a few times but he was such a rubbish kisser that we soon didn't bother. Looking back he had no desire to kiss.When he did kiss it was just bunched up lips and twisting movement on his part. I tried to get better kissing going but it was soon apparent it wasn't his 'thing'. Now I know why.

Definitely unwanted touching. Not even sexually connected and consensual...it's scary.

Knowing what I know now, I dated a covert narcissist about 25 yrs ago. About 7 months in, she started changing. One night she kept saying that I was gay and wanted me to have a gay sex with a coworker. It was the weirdest thing. I never showed any emotion towards her foolishness and broke up with her a week later. I'll never forget the time I caused her to have a narc injury and then seeing her narc rage. Straight up psycho

Marking it on a calendar and demanding it a certain number of times a week or on certain calendar weekdays, whether you had to pull a double shift at work or you just had surgery or injury. Coming absolutely unhinged if it did not follow a strict schedule so he could brag to his friends. It is all so disgusting!

Some will take out their controlling and abusive behavior in the bedroom and become bedroom bullies

“Confused” is the keyword after dealing with a narcissist🤯😣😖

Oh my God 😢 This is his perfect description 💯

I was initially hurt when she left but the more I learn, the more I am grateful to know I wasn't crazy. I do still have my confidence but I am more cautious now.

My God sounds just like my ex husband. No one has ever talked about the horrible sex issues with Narcissist. Thank you for sharing this video.

I wondered many times why my ex withdraw himself from me after sex. I was so confused. I thought first it was only some masculine behavior (men go back to their cave) until I find out that he is a porn addicted narc. He was uncomfortable to have sex with me. I was like a holy mother. In his mind I shouldn't be graving for sex at all. My duty was to serve him. Not want him. Porn was the only sex he knew. He an IT expert had been bachelor until 38 years of age. His only source for any sex had been online porn long before we met. So his mom in the kitchen and a porn star behind a screen were the only women roles he knew. This black and white thinking is typical to narcs in many issues of life in my opinion.

Please alert guys narcissist breaks your hearts badly 💔 never cry and stay strong

My husband DID treat me like a bunch of body parts and would become enraged because I wouldn’t do kinky stuff--should have gotten out long ago!

It took me a while to figure out his games because he was SO great in the beginning. Little by little he started exerting control, especially when it came to sex. He was miserable. He made me miserable. I pretty much gave up on sex after him...he took all the wind out of my sails.

I agree I was with my ex husband narcissist for 18years and you described him to the t, it was an exact description

Very well explained! Thank you very much for this information! In my case, it was the one who didn’t like to kiss, hug, touch, avoiding intimacy, the red flags showed up since the very beginning, but he always knew how to manipulate me. Thank God, I am divorced today, I love my reality, but when I look back, it’s still very painful! I wish strength to all the victims of the narc abuse, to get out as fast as possible of this toxicity. You will see how beautiful life is, the best is yet to come! Send you love!❤️ 😇

I feel seen with this video. The only thing the ex didn't do almost ever, was the "make-up $3×." Apparently, my reactions in fights were enough supply for him.

each and every word and statement of your videos is 100% correct

I agree with all of the things you mention and I have experienced it with narcissists. They do fight with you and then want to have sex ( after hurting you) but they also do it the other way around. You have sex, all is good...and then they would start a fight right after having sex. Somehow, fighting and sex became a thing for him. I also recognize the " locking your body" he would grab my wrists and hold then together with one hand, so I couldn't move. If I would try to break free, he wouldn't let me. And if I tried to touch him, he would take my hand and restrain me. Sex with a narcissist is traumatizing.

I am so grateful for my relationship with God's and honoring my intuition. In the beginning I didn't then I began to observe and was led to learn about relationship flaws...Wow thank you Lord for saving me from so much pain.

For me, the narc faked his way through the act and immediately started a fight afterwards, just as confusing and soul crushing as it sounds 😢

I'm glad I'm in a wonderful relationship with a healthy man of four years now.Informative channel.

This is the most painfull thing to look back to. When I said no, he just answered: why not? The only thing you have to do is lay down and let me do my thing. I tried to avoid it, but that was not possible for a long time. After a period of time, I could manage to let him do his thing, and in the mean while, I left my body, I was no longer present in my body, not even in the room. It felt like I fall in a deep sleep, and woke up after everything was done. That was the only way for me to cope with it. Untill today, from the day I left him, I never had sex, that issue is closed for ever. I do not want to change that, I do not want to relive what I experienced during my marriage. That chapter is closed and stays closed. No memory of that is the best way to cope with it.

Lived witha narc for years. He was sex obsessed but not with me. I was just the back up plan. Later found out he treated other wives this way. He is now on marriage 4

You hit the nail on the head with this one totally. I had never heard anyone explain the no sex part of the process and I have been going through that for months now. Turned down, turned down, rejected over and over again to the point where I have just stopped trying. In the beginning she initiated a lot of the time, now it is once in a blue moon. She will blame it on me and say I have a problem, which is definitely a narcissist trait!! When we actually do have adult time, as soon as we finish she runs to the bathroom and gets in the mirror and brushes her hair and looks at her face and sinks into that. I'm left there like what the hell??

Thank you SO MUCH for posting this! I hated and avoided sex for 42 years with my husband because I Never naturally Orgasmed ONCE. It was always about his orgasm. And when he couldn’t orgasm, I experienced the trauma of being a failure and that I could not perform good enough.

This Is Horrid!😮😮😢

Just awesome video sir ...its so true

This is exactly what I experienced from my narc husband

Yeah. My wife of 25 yrs plus. . She was never happy with anything I did unless she got something for it. ! But I have endured a lot of trauma & betrayal from work & home life ! 🙏🏼 I will be better when I move on.

I totally agree now I am sleeping on the cough and the other month I am leaving ….

Thank you for validating this.

I went through the same i was about to die due to severity of depression he divorced me all of sudden for no big reason

I just got out of a situationship with one a few months ago & one thing I disliked the most is the forced intercourse! They make it impossible to say no & we were living together so that made it even worse! He also would do the same position & did some weird practices every single time it was so controlling I couldn’t get out of his grip! It was the worst feeling ever & I’m glad it’s over! I had love for him because I wanted love in return but he never had any form of love for me it was all about him. I tried when I should’ve have & now I have to try & heal to even begin to try to be with someone else…

Very true. And will tell you they love you to your face but won't kiss you, or it'll just be a peck on the lips, never more, not even in the beginning.

Yep. That's exactly how I've been feeling with my narcissist husband. I'm an object.

"They make love to their false self." 7:06 -- wow, this. Because even though his demon eyes were looking in my eyes, i don't think he was ever seeing me -- he was seeing in me an idealized Self to obtain, filtered through me // This Entire video was spot on. We stopped kissing (for which I actually was grateful) shortly after marriage. I knew his utter lack of oral hygiene was a mix of neglect from his parents and his own self-hate. When I would try to tell him to get it healed and then fixed (he had constant infection and pain), OH the arguing that ensued...

Cant imagine going threw this for years Got out after 3 months

Yes. Most of this hearing for me has been new information. But I think there is another page. When they get middle aged, it is common to seek a sexual partner much younger. And so they can become sexual predators with minors.

About 20 years ago I lived across the stree from a crazy couple. She would go out in the driveway and beat the crap out if the house, the car......anything close to her.....with a golf club!!! It was the craziest thing to watch. Then, after it was over you could heat them in having mad sex! Sadly, he shot her and when t the cops went in to investigate they found her breast implants across the room! It was such a mess. It taught me a very good lesson..... don't play with CRAZY!!!!

These people are 💀 💩 monster's. They will treat you bad and expect you too be okay with it . They will fight with you and talk too you later like nothing has happened but , you are still upset from the fight. No one can have a relationship with these people because, they do not love anyone. Only themselves👿

I watched this to see if the biggest narcissist I had the displeasure of meeting did these .. and honestly he did every single one and more .. He would even justify why he needed to be with other people too and he would never kiss any of us ... He's currently in prison for his crimes until 2044 .. and I'm glad someone spoke up and got him out of everyone's lives . I wish I knew what a narcissist was before I met him because he ruined my life .. I'm remarried and still healing 8 years later

I am so blessed to have found your channel. I had been married 36 years to a narcissist. He did the most sickest habits during sex. I found my way out of the abuse. I am seriously seeking to heal from such abuse. I don't know how or where to start. I'm 69 years old and I really want someone in my life. But, I am afraid that if I am not healed, they might not understand, and I really don't want to go deeply explaining what has happened to me. Thank you for the information that you generously give to your subscribers. You are a God send!😢

Oh my goodness! You did it again! Hit the nail on the head!!!!!!

OMG! How true! Your post brought in so much clarity about the life lived!

Yes, you are describing my narcissistic husband! He is moody, angry and has unexplicable anger flare ups!!! I'm always walking on egg shells!! I've been married for 32 years and there have been only a few moments of happiness and that is mostly when he 's not home! He is also emotionally and physically abusive to me. I leave the house as often as possible! It's the only time I find happiness! I'm a happy and friendly person and I'm an RN BSN so, its only natural for me to love and care about others!

31 years and after our son was born it was over, he did not even pretend to want me anymore. He did not touch me for 9 years and even took our son's room and my son had to sleep with me. Before that he barely touched me. I can't even begin to tell you what that does to a person. Feeling unattractive and worthless barely skims the surface. You keep it secret because you don't want to shame them, but it's always there and it's confusing and it hurts, especially if that is the first and only person you've been with. You have nothing to compare it to, just what you hear from other people, but the narc tries to convince you it's normal and that there are more important things in a relationship than sex. They make up lots of excuses, but most of all they blame you, it's always your fault, so not only are you rejected, but you are also blamed.

All you have said is so accurate Danish. Thank you for the validation and making sense of these awful experiences ❤

I can relate with each point. My narcissistic husband once told me that headache can not hinder me from having sex with him and that the most important part that he needs is the lower part of my body and not the head😢

I have only been with a narc for 6 months and I lived everything you've described. So many horrible things happened in such a small amount of time with that person. I ran away from him but I was no longer the same.

Hi, I believe that my husband is a narcissist. You describe him all so well. He doesn't want to look me in the eyes before during or after intimacy he doesn't like to kiss or cuddle. I tried to get him to watch videos on how to please a woman he always refused. We argue he calls me a narsis he says I'm selfish, self-centered, and calls me hurtful names. I want to leave him but he has a way of dealing me back in and I believe him. It's so draining I am lost

It’s scary how accurate your description is. My soon to be X had every single one of the behaviors you describe. And also, she would then blame me when we would not have sex, even though she was the one who would always charge me away, shaking my head.

Truth about kiss….

Described perfectly! Thank you for explaining this behavior so well.

Yep. This was so spot on. Thank you Danish

This is all so true Danish.Waaah!!!!

Yes, I think you are "spot on"!

Thank you so much - you’re on the money & I find your material helpful & well presented and done in an efficient way 🙏

Endured this for a long time and didn't have a name for it, I thought I was loosing my mind. Like how does a normal human being expect one to heal when they deny their wrong doings and make you feel like you are imagining things

My comments are always lengthy so i apologise. A narc (my cousin+ex-housemate) has a habit to smear campaign everywhere possible so i dealt with her for nine years since i was 4. She left no place whether my school, friends, teachers, relatives, dance academy, park, neighbourhood and made everyone hate me. She again smeared my name to a relative and then i thought: "this time i should reply in their language." The other person believed her and tried to instill fear in me and hate, bully me covertly so i also gossiped to his sister. I did that to make him realise but instead i came to know that he became even more vindictive, sadistic and intends serious harm like SA. But how can he blame or intend to harm me or my family for all his issues when he never spent his childhood around me? He behaves as if every wrong thing ever happened to him was because of me and my family. I only met him twice or thrice and only in events. Never otherwise. Then how can he label me as the crazy one when he doesn't even know me or my family? My family have been through a lot because of that gossip girl cousin. He says NPD is genetic and watches Danish's content but he doesn't know that many survivors and Danish himself had survived a narc household. How delusional and ungrateful it is to write something like this on the coach's channel... His sister was a kid and i was an adolescent so she forgot whatever i said. My gossip didn't affect his reputation unlike how he and that gossip girl affected my reputation. Everybody is oblivious and loves them bc they've always maintained a good reputation just by pretending and doing everything covertly. I can confront and take accountability also but they will never accept what they did, only deflect. If I had known my name was being smeared at that event before I arrived, I would have turned back halfway and not attended the event at all. I accept that what i did was wrong and cannot be justified. But nobody thinks of serious harm just over a gossip. Why he never tries to remember that he was the one to start conflict and participate in smear campaigns against me? He was the one to initiate hatred and only he's in it. I'm out. Even my cousin sis is untrustworthy but not as crazy as him. This still cannot justify what i did but why _only_ I'm the villain when i returned the same energy? So many people, would live in fear, if SA was the punishment for gossip because gossip is so common these days. And I never tried to equate petty things with SA, sadism. I never intended serious harm, sadism etc for any of them, even if they were the ones to start this conflict. I don't wish harm on anyone either. My cousin is befooling him also. She talks and visits our family frequently and even asks for money from us but during events wherever he is present; she pretends she doesn't know us and gives us silent treatment. He thinks she stands with him but she is with nobody except herself. This was an unnecessary conflict. I don't even hate anyone because i know what being hated feels like. I just want them to focus on their own life instead of me or my family. I've severed ties with all my relatives only because of this but still he is after me and my family (maybe bc my family is still in touch with others). How to convince my family to get away from our relatives? I can't tell my family because they won't understand me and if i tell... they'll confront. I don't want to escalate the situation.... He never tries to understand. Can he leave his people for anyone if he were at my place? Me or my family has nothing to do with him. *No one is after him or his people.* Even if my family stays in touch with other relatives.. they only talk about their own respective lives, Not him or his family. I want to take my family somewhere far away. Then he would be happy too...

Amazing...... Great knowledge. 100% true. 10/10, or even more if possible.

Wow Danish, ALL spot on! I wish I knew of your videos earlier on ! Saves so much precious time ( escaping a narc most important step = knowing what the truth is so we can withdraw our life force from them & refocus on our own survival/escape/recovery) THANK YOU!