Can you explain more how did U heal or start to figure out things? ❤

same story, it took me one year of intense daily self talks to rewire my brain. And I became everything I wanted to be in the process.

@@chester2581can you please explain how you did it or point out to the ressources that helped you through? 🙏

How deep were u into narsicism spectrum.

How can you make it out of narcissism? Were you diagnosed with NPD?

Yeah boo hoo and all but narcissist's can all drop dead and I'd watch with pleasure. They literally destroy your soul and any belief about yourself that was good, tear you down and traumatize you for their own pleasure.

And when it is your mother

@@sammyrizzo1199 i agree i was emotionally abandoned i play the empath role also scapegoat when i was little and have borderline traits either way i feel what others feel i blame myself constantly and i am on edge all the time, narcissists have it freaking easy in comparison!

What you describe sounds more like bpd than narcissism.

So then use liquid latex in the cup so it coats the holes evenly, and transforms the cup at the same time! Working with the original cup shape, & improving the cup full of holes :) There is always a way to heal (not hide,) & GROW (not "change," & conform to something you don't align with,) but unfortunately, all this hate & the way society is structured, people have difficulty ALLOWING & HELPING others to heal. It is hard to wrap one's head around this concept -and it all comes back to money/fear, (same. thing) Personally, I don't like it. So, why not change or evolve the cup?

I am not sure that in this situation you gave him unconditional love. First because to love someone unconditionally you have to love youself too, which is not something that you did. You decided to stay with him for his healing sake, although you knew he won't be good to you in any sense, which literally means that you betrayed yourself for a cause, that you at the time thought was good, when in fact was giving a lot more trauma on the top of the trauma he was giving you. You can't help someone that is hurting you so bad and you are in pain because of him, because your resistence is stopping you. And it will always stop you, because it doesn't want you to betray yourself. At this point you really needed to forget about his pain and focus on yourself, because of what I see, you were in a lot of pain. Eventually, this person will change ot you'll be attracted to someone more beneficial to you. Hope you are okay today ♥

@Historical Icons Why be mean? Maybe she's just processing everything.

@PaleBlueDot when did I provide violence

Historical Icons because she might still be scared of him. “What if I do leave him and he finds me?”

Leave him

Thats exactly what she said.

Words_Are_Wind perfect description!!!

Words_Are_Wind that’s the ‘myth’ that created the misconception. Anyone that’s been through NPD will understands that there is nothing ‘special’ about it.

@@singularity844 That's not exactly what she said. You should watch the video more carefully. She defined narcissism as self-love, which is incorrect.

Words_Are_Wind brilliant!

agreed, i'm here with you.

Because i love myself i will work on my self image

@@vanessativa2418 coping mechanism

Very well said.....

@@susanaferreira2076 - Thank you! They really love their self-image and hide their true-self. They don´t want to let you know what they think, what they feel...

I agree but it’s important to recognize truth because you can still be victimized and that’s real I’ve been a total coda my whole life and I’m very aware that I created it but the victimizing is still real xo

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 👆🏻 This.

@@abigailestherrobinson2204 its real when u continue playing the game of victimhood they dont want to be the villain eaither so if u step out of this role every thing will end here

Blame isn’t the same as acknowledging that person is dangerous. It’s never ok to abuse people, I’m not a child abuser and never will be so no we’re not the same.

Ehh I don't know you don't normally realize you attracted and found a narc based on how you are, and even if you run they can still make your life a living hell they need you to be the victim as fuel for their ego

I believe it's more of the persona,than the ego

No, what you just did here is called gas lighting.

How do you know anyone disagrees ? You’ve been duped .

so her specfic advice was to get out of relationship with them, as you are likely too selfless.

Mark Ferry interesting Mark ☆

Gosh, that was a powerful sharing Thank you Sending lots of healing energy your way

Id agree youre a tad over selfless but thats no criticism - many of us are. It would be better for us and the narcs - for us to be a smudge more selfish.

It's joyful to see you're working with the hand you were dealt. You will make so much progress in this life. To be two people and understand both.

Same exact thing with me I have those tendicies and self sacrifing behaviors but I never had the grandious personality I have extreme shame and low self esteem and chronic anxiety and I’m introverted but before I had these tendencies I was extremely extraverted and felt like everyone was equal that’s why when I heard of narsism I would laugh because it’s obviously a symptom of horrible self worth the superiority and levels that they view them selfs is a defect corelatiom to there very low self worth so that’s why I think I’m not I also come to my true self sometimes even though it can. Feel scary but I think what I’m really dealing with is unhealed things and lack of self love for so long and my false self I put that’s why I was an amazing artist and now I havnt made art in 6 months

Detective K: There could be a host of reasons why someone would try to hurt you. However, underhanded and mean behavior is not a good sign regardless of who's at fault. Could it have been something you did or said? Sure. But the correct way to respond to that would be to discuss it with your rationally. If you're not getting that respect (regardless what may have happened), then the person is just not good news.

wolves in sheep's clothing can be more dangerous than overt narcissists for sure

Med dy...keep drinkin the hateraid

They are worse bc you spend a much longer time trying to convince yourself that they have the your best interests at heart bc they keep lying and lying and pretending to be good and caring

you dont see them coming, in fact you think they are your champion. by the time u begin to realise whats going on,its usually already too late

This! Its not always OUR faults like this video presents. I been in traumabonds and THAT WAS WHAT BINDED ME TO THE NARC. Not my damn inner wounds. Inner wounds are there after being traumabonded to psychopaths amd malignant narcisissts yes ,but they are known to me and not being something of a block that i put on myself for learning to heal my wounds. The damger is traumabond. If youre like me, never had parents teachimg you about the wolfs in sheeps clothing (and they both being this wolf in sheep clothing) then your empathy will make you fall in traps and may leave you traumabonded. My narc magnet syndrome dissapeared as fog to the sun as soon as I learned about what the wolves do inside their costumes. I was gaslighted as a kid as to "whats a wolf and whats a lamb". So while Teal make a good point here she doesnt cover it good enough, but what she says we can all benefit from regardless. What i mean is important here is to mention the ppl like me. The sensitive ones who are just easy to fool and traumabond, because isolation and gaslight have been our "teachers" in childhood . Yes we are filled with unconditional love, but we are so kind and loving that if we get lonely we can be duped and a traumabond may form and then its a hell and too late. I learned finally to watch my step and to finally see who is the monster pretending to be angel. Im very safe from all harm if i just use my inner compass to discern instead of listening to a new traumabond. And yes- being predisposed for traumabonds are something a lot of us sensitives are

Preach! 🙌🏽

My mother

@@itb7439Others generally treat us how we feel about ourselves. We’ll attract and are attracted to people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Otherwise a person wouldn’t put up with them or stay with them. Btw Teal has other videos elaborating on the topic further, not just this one.

Teal doesn’t see it as a mental disorder. She has other videos elaborating further. By the way we attract and choose people who treat us how we feel about ourselves. Wouldn’t put up with it otherwise. Some do seek therapy if something huge happens which shakes their world and also their behaviour isn’t benefiting them anymore or with the people they want it to influence.

No, it's not. Narcissism is a personality disorder.

Yeah, it’s a disorder. Enough with the self aggrandizing moral platitudes

Oh man. It's a disorder. A black hole which sucks everything in near it. A black hole full of chaos.

It's definitely certifiable f-d up-ness and your leader Teal here might just be one.

No, it's both. They're not mutually exclusive. Specifically, it's a MALadaptation, and that's what makes it a disorder.

TRUE!!!!!!

Hate is a feeling. Feeling is healthy. Therefore it's unhealthy to suppress hate. HOWEVER. Acting on the feeling of hate might not be a good idea. Feeling and behaviour are two different things. It's ok to hate. But it's not necessarily ok to behave hatefully. Very important to make a distinction in that, especially in this community.

E = Love 😁

Well said

Love is not the answer to everything , they take you love as your weakness and come for more and torture more

Unconditional love does not mean playing to their games. It means that you become unaffected by the games because you understand their pain.

Yep .

I find that when those around you start sounding like that negative, doubtful, angry, little voice in your head you have always hated that it's the biggest red flag out there. Implied superiority in their words is another subtle sign.

That incredibly self aware of you to admit that

I appreciate your reply. I feel the same way about this video. I just immediately was reminded of my relationship to my mom. All the times she made me out to be willfull. All the times i was needy. I didnt get her. She hated me. She was a single parent. I was abandoned. I was called a brat selfish selfish selfish. Now im even worse than then. Regardless this is an extremely balanced view that i agree with. Shes mapped out my life.

@@flashoflight9175 same with you my mom never loved me and made me feel bad for my presence. I feel so empty on the inside, like i am screwed for ever and can not repair myself anymore. I have also a question, did she made you be the best at school and everything while denying your true self and emotions and needs ? That is what she did to me ...

Jaccobtw wow that takes a lot for one to admit . Good on you .

Well said. Respect!

I think you need to watch the video again and check out her video on Psychotic Vampires.

Olenea Z i was raised by my grandparents..... When i finally met my biiligical mother she turned out to be a narcicist and gave me hell....wich is fine cuz i learned a lot like your said but i noticed she bragged a lot about how she destroyed other peoples lifes so i realized i was playing with fire......when i took my daughter to me her at 2 years old she did something wicked...and that was it...i will never speak to her again.

Olenea Z was it worth it? Have same problem, and wondering should you leave narcisists alone, its big risk to help, but there must be the way without you burn out...

How do we choose our parents?

thank you for pointing the way.this is great and helpful stuff.

+Sherrie Vitello - Then you have achieved self-mastery, which is wonderful, and something that most of us strive for.

well said.

That is the most incredible victim mentality that excuses staying with a narc... why are you doing that to yourself? Please find a good therapist; guaranteed you will find yourself so much happier and healthier in a years time. I promise. Do not listen to this woman, she is a lying narc who is only promoting herself... everythign she says is lies. Look up the videos by qualified educated professionals... she is NOT one.

@@angiet.5857 Teal is definitely NOT a narc, perhaps you are one of these people she is talking about! You’ve been triggered 😤

And from another perspective, I speak to myself. I am both. And even so I am neither.

Yes that is awfully terrible I know and have been through that with my parents.

That’s usually what happens. I’m fine but my sister says she has it and I support her. My dad’s a covert. Hope life goes well for you.

Bpd is a form of narcissism

@@Moop666 Ive been telling people this

Same. We've already discovered they can't be cured. They need to be locked up.

Hahaha it's one of my dreams in life🤣

Wow I’m only just reading this and I’m curious to know did you leave? I understand the feelings of compassion & empathy. I’m wanting to heal a partner to only knew for 2 months!! Guess that means we are healed or close enough ☺️

There are more things she said for the narcisistic to be healed like them accepting the condition and wanting to jeal. Im not sure If unconditional love works by its own, but it the narcisistic doesnt want to heal then what else can you do bit love them? Ues, run away, but if the narcisistic is your mother and you love her and she is alone cause no one wants to be around... .. What else can you do but love her? Maybe this answer is a powerless victim of narcisism one... SO... What can we do? Heal ourself to prevent the vampire of sucking our energy... I'm worried about what happens when the narcisistic person doesn have anybody to steal energy from.

My daughters ( empaths) just started giving me little nuggets they knew I would accept. (Nature and crystals). They ignored my poor behavior for the most part, but would give me one definitive statement about how I made everyone feel. I started watching Teal’s videos. Still, my driving motivation was to be seen as good. Little by little I saw my inconsistencies.... how I was and had been the one causing pain for a very long time. Currently I’m working with my shame, also focusing on abundance, seeing life and energy from a different perspective. Teal’s kindness and unconditional love in this video helped me to not turn away from the hard truth again. (I’m writing this because your question is helping me process through this on a major breakthrough day. It’s more for me than anyone else, but I’m also feeling a need to be public with it, out of the closet so to speak. So I thank you very much for this good question

Because unconditional love is not even condition of what you said. Unconditional love doesn't thing about stuff like this.

@@hananemec2786 I love someone unconditionally that is punching me in the face every day, but I don't know how that heals them?

@@hananemec2786 It was Teal that suggested a condition of unconditional love > that it could 'heal' someone. Thats a condition. To me unconditional love is a way of living. In unconditional love the need for or state of healing can not exist. The idea that someone needs healing suggests a condition and who decides that condition?

TehKhronicler i listened to entire video. when she said there's nothing wrong with narcissism? i knew she was not aware of the damage real narcs cause behind them.

Narcissists are very cruel cold hateful damaging entities I live with one she threw our baby son on the concrete in his sleep then turned and smirked at me she then called the police and lied that I pushed her they locked me in a jail for over a year while this child abuser retains full custody of my son to this day. I never thought a woman could hurt a innocent baby let alone her own I have come to learn she is a man hater and very twisted haughty and vulgar words cannot explain the antics and methods they employ to destroy innocent unsuspecting souls.

she never says that? she says they are suffering, and if you are near one, try and get out... pretty frkn clear

Maybe you are the one who should hear what she says more carefully. She completely misinterpreted narcissism.

Todd Howard You completely misunderstood everything. It’s pretty damn obvious what message she’s bringing: Yes narcissists are destructive and dangerous but this is a defense mechanism which means it’s not a personality disorder, it means that it is a interpersonality disorder. So, Narcissism is a natural effect by this much lack of self worth. Narcissists project their painful feelings onto you so that they can feel better (but not permanently), that’s why they’re so manipulative. So the way out for them is the same as PTSD, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re poor, but don’t mess with them either because their false-self can be dangerous.

yeah true i also felt the same ^ ^

***** I think so, def a symbiotic connection, like the key that fits the lock.

My words spoken by you, love.

My younger brother is one. Almost destroyed me. I think you can only let go. Family or no family. Feel with you

Rex Joris De schrijver the problem with a nastiest is they don't leave you alone and what was not mentioned in the vid is a nastiest derives pleasure from other peoples misery My brother is one and trust me the more I focused on myself the more he resented the lack of his so important attention

Guitar Maniac Gag her?!

+Guitar Maniac haha why? it has everything to do with how you see yourself.. love yourself unconditionally

+Guitar Maniac : Send a poor guy to be her husband ;)

wow, I found someone who 'knows' me although he never met me. Ben quinn you sound like a sociopath. People beware! Ben quinn can assess your personality by one comment. Psychotherapy is suppose to help people like you, who suffer from delusion of grandeur. good luck.

sophie sakura - don't put words in my mouth.

get off my back weirdo. I do as I please I don't need a sexist misogynist douchebag to tell me who to follow.

I’m so sorry to read of your trauma Pam. I hope you are finding a way to heal. Much love to you ❤️

leisa Mcmahon thank you . I have made some progress ♥️

Did you find any answer?

I can try to help but I'm not sure what exactly the question is. I do think you're mistaken that they think they are above you. Bosses and managers generally are highly insecure and condescend people to create the illusion they want to see. Think of it as a little kid pretending to be a king or a teacher. Once you stand up to them they throw a tantrum. I've lost plenty of jobs this way.

Megan Marie I agree... It's a shame that the 'support' for those who are traumatised by their experience seems to have been hijacked... I understand the feelings that the experience creates... They are horrible and very, very intense... but nobody benefits by demonising the other person.. in fact, as you suggest, it's the sense of isolation and separation which causes their destructive behaviours... creating a witch-hunt will only make them more defensive and dishonest and quicker to flee with no explanation... potentially creating more victims where they land! There's also the popular belief that they are beyond reproach because they have no emotional sensation of guilt or shame... but I don't think that's the case at all... Nor do I believe that these Narcissist/Empath relationships are necessarily doomed to inevitable failure... Rather that they are each a potential force for transformation and healing... It's just that the narcissist (I prefer the term, "Person" with the "Dismissive, Avoidant, Attachment Issues"!) usually runs when they feel vulnerable... which is their loss more than anyone else's... It isn't self serving on their part... it isn't even wilfulness or destructiveness,... it's compulsive and compulsions are definitely manageable... though it takes some work... Sadly in this age of self esteem boosting memes and slogans everywhere it's so easy for narcissistic people to gain active support from others by playing the role of someone who's on a self discovery mission and needs help finding the courage to break free... and find their true self, their calling etc...... even if they arrived, with all of the enthusiasm and self confidence that anyone could ever hope to have just a few months before, having left another town in that exact same scenario... People love to encourage and rarely question a chance to do so... If you mention to people that this is something they have a history of and have been doing the "starting a new life, following my heart..." self actualisation and empowerment routine for years and years... and they don't need that encouragement because they are not stuck but running from themselves... you'll find yourself suddenly very unpopular! People won't believe you and that's part of what makes it so painful and traumatic... the way that it will be your sanity gets called into question for saying what you see and it being instantly dismissed without hesitation... If that frustrates you you'll be called obsessive and emotionally immature!!! If you can prove it... all evidence will be dismissed probably not even looked at and you'll be told you're being selfish and possessive and that you had unrealistic expectations and were overly attached, that you are being needy and pathetic and it just goes to show why they needed to get away!! All of these things are high on the list of nightmarish situations for sensitive people... especially being blamed! But the killer is.... having your natural caring personality and desire for the best possible outcome re-written as some kind of behavioural aberration... Something you need to be cured of! That's what hurts... Being told you are the one who's behaviour is not normal! That you ought to be more like them... That's life changing...

No apology needed. I am all too aware of the effects though... I have been in the company of narcissists for as long as I can remember... My survival in childhood was based on letting go of control and the desire to be somewhere/someone else. I think that many narcissists are also survivors but have taken the path of taking control at any cost and always wanting to be somewhere else. My ex said to me when we had been seeing each other just a few weeks, "I feel that this is an equal relationship after all and I am just as likely to have my heart broken as you are." which shows that her idea of love was that it was inevitably going to cost somebody dearly and, (naturally,) she decided that would be me. That's fear, cowardice and a poorly view of what love is if you ask me. Not evil... just not open to experience anything new. It's sabotage whether conscious or not and a resignation to there being no mutual benefit mixed with a relentless drive to prove her worldview superior and correct in the face of a challenge to her prejudices. For me the astonishing thing was the way she had total support and wasn't challenged at all even after she left people still refused to question her motives or sympathise with me, as it's ALL my responsibility! I disagree. Beyond a personal wish to be treated respectfully, changing me only takes me out of the firing line and leaves the mechanism inside her that decides whether someone deserves to be treated respectfully or with total contempt, untouched. She carries that still and I genuinely pity the next person who falls on the wrong side of that judgement. I didn't accept her behaviour, and challenged it and hence she's split and I am free... but not at all happy... I don't think I can ever be happy again.... There's a civil war going on in my head and the rage is with me 24/7. If I saw her I'd probably kill her, so I stay indoors mostly just in case. Everyone who I thought of as a friend proved to be otherwise in the end. And saddest of all is that I had actually thought for once that my goodwill and conscious attention would actually benefit someone for a change but nope... it just broke me instead.... again. I'd been single for 4 years and was not expecting this at all. I don't crave relationships, hell no... or define myself by them but there's undeniable benefits to living with loving cooperation and support and encouragement and things of that sort....It felt like that was possible for a moment or two... I let my guard down and was manoeuvred into a position where I thought I could trust and that was all that it took... Lesson learned. Her loss more than mine.