Wow that’s the perfect summation! I thought something pretty similar too, it’s insanity!

Your therapist sounds smart!

Not angry but want you to continue so they can benefit from your wounds

Precisely

That's exactly it

Other ppl acknowledging this , makes me sad . My ex bf who was really supportive once said something like this too . Like teal said , i was faced with the fact that i was a victim when other ppl saw that too .

You are so fortunate that you have someone who can see what is happening. It is hard when your husband doesn't see it unless he is told and even then he is not sure of what you are saying.

My husband too

My partner said this too, and had my back for quite some time over our three years togeth, and I felt the same validation. But he turned out to be part of the pattern - an abuser himself and now we have separated my new 'family' of in laws etc are accepting his smears and scapegoating me. It's the seond loss of family within a year so it has been a wake up call and a half to hear this talk today. Abandonment and annihilation do indeed feel better than letting my guard down to the wrong people

@@rebecca_stonesame. This is very painful to experience

😢

Same

This was my Life, until now.. 😢

Wow, that is powerful and so true. What a devastatingly accurate description that drives home how thoroughly … tbh … evil scapegoating is.

Yes… I dove into some memories to release today… I did lose my health somethin’ nasty finally. Couldn’t take it anymore. Got metastatic “rare” cancer, severe anemia, hyperparathyroidism, early menopause, and more, all at the same time. I broke for a while. Really broke. I went to someone I thought was an old friend… who didn’t so much as pick up the phone and ask me if how I was doing when I went through all that. We had kinda lost touch so I overlooked that at first. She treated me like a freak that needed her fixing, as if I had “let myself go”… I finally saw how ashamed of me and embarrassed of me she was, that she just felt sorry for me as a person… like I was giving nothing back to society and and and I cut all those “friends” out. And I committed to putting my entire life on hold to heal everything inside my soul. I found coaches, therapist, and these blessed “unconventional” resources have helped me more than anything. And a great surgeon 😂. I feel whiny leaving this comment after another long comment - I’m going to use this as an opportunity to release and keep going upwards. I’m healthier now than I may have ever been. And mostly healed. I believe you can do it too ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

omg yes me too

Couldn't it be that they try to love you (me) in their own way, that that is their idea of love and therefore you (I) could validate them for that?

@@juliafischer3157 that can make you confuse love with hate and abuse. That will make you stay in abusive relationships with partners or therapists or friends who abuse you. Love is not abuse.

That is the worst thing. For me to accept. Hardest words to hear

I’m finally figuring out love has nothing to do with it.....makes perfect sense now -so many painful, abusive behaviors & why everyone has piled their long time mistakes & garbage onto my back so their load becomes easier. Wtf? I would agree they don’t love that person.

Nejc Zupan ~ “There are NONE -SO BLIND as those who WILL NOT SEE”....

Yep. ❤️❤️❤️

@Eman Name I agree but we have good sides too We are just a little dumb, But Teal is there for us

some really are fucked ... but i believe most are just unaware, if they would know what they all are a part of they would do something about it.

Right? Me too...

yes baldy, but only if its convincing. *wink

@Mr. Davario P. You have made your point, have an absolute right to your opinion, but I read comments to become more knowledgeable, and you have wasted my time twice.

Soooooo true

That's what a scapegoat is lol.

@Mr Davario they have a good video, but thanks for putting it out there because it does a erose from credibility. I've nothing against people self identifying as a gender that they're not. But when they triy to force the rest of us to do, it they can go to hell. No way am I going to call he a she or a she or a he. I'm not going to mock them but I'm not going to describe them as the opposite gender they were born as because that's just Fantasyland.

i almost killed myself because of it. My own family almost killed me...... and everyone in my life wonders why I isolate and intense anger issues and social anxiety. But Im still here and still fighting. They were too weak to destroy me.

​@@velveetaslingshotsame here, we are by far the strongest people walking on earth.

@@velveetaslingshot Don't give them the satisfaction. Learning to parent ourselves with love and compassion, and being happy and at peace is the best revenge. Supportive communities like this one are good places for validation and growth. One day we will be able to help others to take their lives back because of what we have learned. The best is yet to come!

Lives ruined definitely. Until we find out.

​@velveetaslingshot I'm so glad you're still here and I don't even know ya. I am crying from really feeling my feelings like Teal Swan tells us to do. (I normally cannot cry.) But I'm letting myself now. I don't know if I wanna say thank god I'm not alone in this hell in this pain but then I cry because another person has felt this pain. It's all consuming. Can I somehow reach out to you as a friend?

Been through this TOO often ... again and again!

Of course there is a WIN situation, esp. for scapegoats: a fierce Independence and self Reliance that is unmatched by any group herded sheep member of society!!

I know you made this comment 2 years ago lol, but the "outcast" is a good thing. Why would you wanna fit in a dysfunctional systems that's not in your favor? You can define walking away from them as you liberating yourself, and thus able to attract fun, mature, loving people. So it's not an "outcast" but it's the path of the liberator. You're freeing yourself, so you can live your best life. And you're able to do that because you love yourself. The best, purest form of love is from within. You gotta see your own self-worth, and how you deserve to self-validate yourself. And in return, according to Teal, and the Law of Mirroring, you simply attract unconditionally loving people.

Double-win for the scapegoat = be outcast of that evil - - and you will find yourself in new fresh water, - learning to swim lika a dolphin, your new self - throw the old scapegoat-habits far away, lose this old "self" which was the wet dream of your enemies

@@magnamakers3219 Hard to know if you've been through this yourself from your comment. I realise your intentions are good. But telling scapegoats that the agony of abandonment ("outcast") is "good" and "you simply attract unconditionally loving people" sounds kind of invalidating. There's a primal wound from being rejected by your family of origin, and the insidious ways they twisted reality - scapegoats receive exactly zero template for "love from within". Even after you free yourself, you don't simply start "living your best life", you may even unwittingly step right back into the same dynamic. I've just had the mind-bending experience of being re-scapegoated in my 40s, by my now ex life partner and in-laws. There's more to this stuff than a happy finger-snap to a complete new reality.

same :(

Sooo sorry to hear this. I'll be your family 🤗

@K Pee People do tell other people, I tell other people stuff I've learned from experience all the time and they benefit from it, people who do well in this world had mentors who actively told them stuff.

@@Megan6772 Hah, you actually made me smile. Thank you :)

Me too over and over 😓

Activists are still scapegoated today! A bunch of "antifa" protesters were bagged by the american gestapo only yesterday and our culture is going wild with "they deserve its" and "fascist terrorists" despite them being literal anti-fascists who are trying to wake up humanity.

Yep. The scapegoat is targeted because they are an example of normality in a dysfunctional family and show up their faults

Hey Sbeast: great music. I start an Bandcamp a metal version of ‘dancer encore’ (the flash mob going round in Europe right now) about freedom. What cords are good

I love that term projective identification warfare! That's probably really what it's always about at the end of the day

This is why majority of the Prophets were met with fierce opposition by their communities. People really don’t want to see the truth. They want to live comfortably in their lies. This is what I realized recently, the truth tellers were always shunned by society. It’s lonely at the top (of the awareness ladder).

The anatomy of loneliness

I completely relate

Usually I would agree with you. But I keep looking at the comments and it brings me great comfort to know that there are people out there that went through what I went through.

@lovelystarchild ~ I would say that most people are horrible, but there is hope because there are some people, such as the creator of this channel, who can relate to our pain and want to help us. If we entirely cut ourself off from humanity, we are also cutting ourself off from the opportunity to live intentionally and with purpose, which leads to happiness. If "they don't love us", living with purpose and happiness is our best revenge.

@lovelystarchild ~ If we completely isolate ourselves, we are giving our enemies way too much power. We are giving them exactly what they want by becoming irrelevant.

You ARE enough! It's not just some words. Feeling the truth behind that can take many years of practice, but once we have awareness of these patterns, it's much much easier. Much love!

Even though I know this I still find myself trying to overcompensate with family and friends which means deep down I dont feel like I am enough. I even try hypnosis. I don't know what I can do to make myself believe it.

Victoria Bergman your describing my situation!.. my family GAVE me autoimmune disease & now I am blamed for it by them...!..Idk if I 'll ever get past this huge grief.. if this happened to you, I 'm really sorry, sending you all my love & wishes for fully healing & finding happiness.!.. : )

Yes you are loved!

This should help all of us I meditate and pray in peaceful joyful love thought feeling connection. Basicly the vibration of peace joy love vibration Gregg braden brought up this info water energy studies confirm are feelings thoughts help heal ourselves or harm based off of are feelings and thoughts. It also creates a better form of life to florish in love with love thoughts feelings and speach. Also as we love we can self and group heal ourselves which is each other saying it already happened. Our life path of Gregg braden explains this for us. Gift of the blessing cd we all can bless look this up to learn more also our Depock Chopra life path mentioned when we meditate in peace joy and love all those around us serritonin levels go up also out side of the building we are in or within buildings if out side also those life paths of us mood changes in the same way we all are a one concousness connection no matter who or what being we are all one. Realy cool :). So even if someone doesnt know meditation is going on near by those life paths of us mood changes and we end up ascending and wake up more. Its time lets think and pray heal all the physical mental and health of all kind and spiritual by divinely blessing 3 areas. Bless the circumstances that are and what we require them to be without judgments. Then bless those that caused the circumstance we disire to change to a new circumstance and do the same for them to be blessed to the new circumstance similar to what we disire disire the same for them and bless them without judgement there us we are them. 3rd Bless the witnesses and you as a witness that witnessed the circumstance and to now have it be the disired circumstance now and bless all that witness and your self without judgment in love joy peace :). Then say its already happened speak it think say it feel it visualize it into being. We are all one connected as individual lifetimes and so we must help heal those life times with the skills each life path has and inspired to use when inspired like i just was now. I ask for full healing. I pray and have belief i ask you as other life paths to do the same for me as i am willing to do for you by saying i love you i bless you and others and all. I bless and pray in love joyfull peacefull healing connections and ask other selfs to do this with me there is no concept of time bless me bless you bless all. Think i am healed think you are healed and i bless your life in unity feeling belief in us for our individual life paths for food shelter financial need all to be provided now do this with me say its already happened 3 times or more in peace love and joy visualize it as we heal all are life path and forgive those that choose not to we are all healed :). Now bless us to have are required life and healing and free from debt or lack of health or needs that each feel we have and heal it with belief in what each requires what ever that is do this freely and be inspired in the way you can and are ok with within your specific life path want and need to be fully helped healed in all areas holisticaly now :). Every like is a prayer do this for us all :).

Aaaaamen Brother!!!

Sow true if u dont love your self fist no wone gowing two love u but u

@Mr. Davario P. wtf man, what have you been smoking hahaha. Gimme some

Playing the scape goat ,by using the escape joke was me from the age of seven , lost it ,gained it, lost it regained it again then lost it. Self helped when dropped inside thru the shaddow flow. Popps oot the other side , true blue exterior with the red dotted vibrational i redecorator as we fly in the clouds while birds sing ring tears of joy from thy eye. we carry our verse with us as we flow, we grow larger than life in our heads My gad is nae bad and my God , not only good Alchemy is chemistry that comes in your food Call yourself to rites, Three by three then Two by two become one by ones side, by side love in your crafty teal thank you am a skint carer and shall pick up your book in the future...much love.

An object

🎉yesssssss

Exactly! And I did go on a lifelong mission to only return to this disgusting behavior stronger. They took my grandchildren from me and the grandchildren adore me.

true. i always wondered why my brothers didnt have the same tormenting emotional issues that i had. i think i was damed to be the issue and he was well adapted. i moved far away to escape and to lick my wounds...for example, whereas he still lives where we always lived, never moved and is well adapted to this childhood-enviorement i fled from. it makes me just sick ... he appears like dead inside and sure as hell has a huge price to pay to be somekind of "golden child". He still has the same issues with the familie, just in another form.

@Scape Goat yes. Gender bias is also so painful on children.

My sister was actually the golden child while I was the scapegoat.Even if she was the Golden she saw right trough their lies,she just kept "playing their game" while I didnt..Its so horrible that some children have to live their childood like that...

same

Tan Poliak There are many definitions of a ‘ strong ‘ person”. If , as is the case of the woman who posted above that her family was composed of narcissists, and also other cases I have observed , the family selects the member who is the most outwardly emotional . Then when they project their problems for ex fear or rejection etc , the child fully accepts it and express with vigor and intensity the emotions they don’t want to deal with . It seems that a sensitive child who feels deeply provides a better purge than one whose suffering is less apparent

i never thought it either but it makes sense

Makes me feel better being a scapegoat now🤪🤸🏽‍♂️ and it does actually make sense. We are the ones that can actually see the reality. The other ones are living in their own delusion.🙄😏

Oh from an early age I knew I was the strongest, I guess thats why I really rebelled and It made my father n sisters worse

I think my dad picked up on my sense of this is not right family is crazy at age 4 truth teller. I saw the different masks. Scapegoat I am the strongest and have stood up and refused his insults and even dished out all the family secrets’ also was golden child for 6 months hated it lol and then comedy relief for family MASCOT. Now, I am not near as strong as I was. Exhausted. I will never know what it’s like to have a parent lol been cool to have two lovng ones

love you

Ana Pajarillo love you right back

lol

God bless 🙌🙌🙌💕💕

@Victoria Bergman actualy happened to me. When I had pneumonia, and first doctor I went to said its just flew, Ill caught it out. 2 weeks later nothing. 2 months later I finaly got better, but now I know why I had pneumonia in the forst place

Same! As soon as I stood my ground I was told I need “help” …in a way it’s heartbreaking but I still stood firm ..this was after 20 years of “putting up” with them cause it was “family”

They sound vile

Trust me….they are the crazy ones doing the crazy making so if ur crazy they’re the reason why…don’t bother trying to make them happy…or need their approval…ur best move would be to run and never go back…it gets worse with age

Rest assured, you are NOT at all crazy ... 💁 .

write on your mirror - I am enough. also, no-one validates you except you finding who you are before God and God validates.

people, inclu mothers and fathers, can only love as much as they have experienced true agape affirming love. this is why if we have God's love, and we do, then we can have compassion.

YeA I actually care about my mother's son more than she does........

You are amazing!

Thanks

Exactly. They were monsters! that's why they came for us, because we were different!

Monsters, indeed ... ☠️

I also returned home at that time, after 20 years away, and getting better, "healed"....this makes so much sense. All the members of the family are actually dieing and I'm surviving, but not without the pain of being the deflection. That! 🎉 Celebrating the awareness.

My scapegoaters got ahold of my daughter and now she scapegoats me, too

@@teizenn1 I’m so very sorry to hear that. Only those of us going through this painful journey can understand the enormity of it. I pray for both of us and the many who are experiencing this overwhelming grief. Take care of yourself, friend.❤️

Me too Wanna be friends?

Unicorn Gypsy ~”Snap out of it!” (Hope you get “Moonshine” reference.)

you are aware of it now, that's when the shift start's....you are not stuck, your own awareness of it show's you the way. much love to you on your journey

I’m 40 love. Forget age.

It does suck. But I just realized the same thing about my family, and I'm 55. If only you could see that you are FREE at age 33! Once you get through the pain of not "having" your family cuz they are sick, you can begin to find a new "family" and live the life YOU are destined for, instead of accepting the crumbs of the scapegoat identity and wasting your life. I feel like my life has been robbed from me cuz I found this out so late....🥺

Thats good to realize this in 33. In this age you have lot of physical and personal power to change it and make your own life. Some people reailze this when they retire.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I loved what you wrote, thank you. From someone who's been abused and messed with and kicked around my whole life. Your words are very healing. We are the light. We are the ones who change the world while others just perpetrate evil and hate. Or they're bystanders that do nothing about anything.

Lynn Marie Anderson that’s exactly what we’re doing here. We may not remember but we’re the ones who are on a mission to bring the change. The universe needs us to shine right now. Us shining is collectively the medicine for humanity. I’m sending you all my love and healing. It isn’t ever easy being the brave soul❤️

Let's thank God first and foremost

I can tell by the way you’re writing that you’ve really expanded. This is awesome and very inspiring for me to read! Thanks for sharing

Haha meeeee, too!!! 🤔😎🙂😶😐😎

hahahaha

😂😂😂😂 we dance with our shadows.

LMAOOOO

😂😂 I know how you feel. I keep changing my passwords just in case since she sounds like she reading my mail so often. 😂😂

Some scapegoat kids are killed by their Narc parent

that is how i've lived in the forest for 6 years, it is not easy but i am stumped at this point as what else i could do after dissolving blame complexes in myself

As you heal yourself and feel safer in your own mind the law of attraction will bring you to meet people who also treat you safely

Scapegoats always ESCAPE literally to other continents for peace if they can. We are the types to go across the world just to study, work, adventure, find love, teach, work with children etc

I moved to the other side of the continent. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Screw those trash-people.

Omgsh I love her soooooo much she makes a lot of things so much better and understanding her video has helped me so much I wish I could meet her in person.

curiosity saved the cat “how can there be so much intelligence without it being accompanied by awareness” THIS^!!! Like either they do know what they are doing or they don’t. And I don’t even want to know at this point!!

I do believe demons are real & they are them. Sinister, Malicious, Evildoer, are perfect descriptions

Thats it. Why are they doing things that are destroying them and everyone around, without having any benefits from this? Only suffering. There mus be "something" that benefits from this situation.

@@janbalaban5268 Or it isn't beneficial whatsoever. Intelligence doesn't exclude susceptibility to a false belief system. Destruction may give a sense of control which briefly elleviates a perceived lack in their lives, but in the end it's more likely to exacerbate the illusion they're trying to escape from.

@@curiosity_saved_the_cat But why there is some kind of belief in some dark demonic being feeding on us in each culture in the world? From Judaism to east asian culturea and ancient meso-american. Just everywhere. Didn't you heard classic phrase "the best devil's trick was to convince us that he doesn't exist" ? I could agree with that you just wrote. But that does not eccessarilly mean that demons does not exists. :) Both is possible simultaneously.

I agree that this was a very good video of hers. Everything she said. Pretty complete... I am grateful. She have done a great job and is helping.

I wonder if she consider herself as a scapegoat or that she was and have been scapegoated.

@@marie-joseecharette4937 At one point she said, referring to herself, "As a recovering scapegoat..." So yes.

Oh lord, yes

Ef Smiley I too am the family scapegoat . Every time I attempt to adress my trauma via an online class or in therapy I get an intense sore throat . It’s a searing pain that is quite uncomfortable . It promptly disappears mere minutes after I finish with the trauma work . It’s obviously a problem w my throat chakra . Will you please share how you rebalanced this area

So eye opening isn't it? I now see how my role in my abusive narc family extrapolates into my work and platonic and romantic relationships too and how I am naturally drawn to emotionally unavailable partners and tend to take the brunt of criticism at jobs where the power structure is really tilted, even when I'm their best worker and the perfect employee.

Same for me too. Amazing!!

Same for me. I NEEDED this and exactly what you said; perfect timing

Same with me

Same opinion here...❤️

Same here.

@@RealBradMiller oh wait, my mom ostracized me but my last ex was pretty set on fixing me after he abused me sexually.. so I guess I have seen both sides of this disgusting pattern. I hope youre doing well Brad.

What I found is detachment from the family and scapegoating social groups and friend circles, was the cure to my binge drinking habits. I HAD to drink to feel comfortable and accepted and play a role “comfortably” and it always destroyed my energies to do so. When I detached, continued to heal, and connected more dots, the alcohol was something that fell away naturally.

Yeah same here :(

@@calliecat1191 you can message me if you want to talk or need a friend

U 2

@@calliecat1191 message me on insta @Esibs289

@@elenasibs1687 Ok....I sent you a request...

Satu Johanna Absolutely there is! The scapegoat ends up with diabetes, autoimmune issues, weight gain, high blood pressure, IBS, cancer, heart trouble etc from the surging anxiety cortisol epinephrine and adrenaline. Abusers are healthy because they have no emotions to attack their central nervous system.

@@thirstonhowellthebird That explains why my mom has physical problems and not her brother, my uncle, who she stopped talking to since ny grandma died 2 years ago...his family is healthy and ours all have health problems...

Callie Cat This type of abuse is hideous because that feeling of shockwaves jolting through your entire body and stomach in your arms that anxious surging adrenaline and cortisol is so bad for your body...when it’s on 24 seven like the anxiety that these types of people create it literally changes your body chemistry and damages the amygdala in the brain so there’s all kinds of motor skill problems connected to the abuse endured by these people. I’m really sorry about your mom. I hope she’ll get better now that she’s away from that toxicity :-)

@@thirstonhowellthebird Thank you...I hope she does too...still healing and seeing a therapist now...

We’re you the scapegoat?

Yes if they can’t fault with your present they will keep shoving your past at you or continue treating you like they always did

goldiamondawareness that’s a good metaphor, it’s something I’ve noticed as well! And I see it on a spectrum throughout humanity, it’s like there’s voids of consciousness that congregate together but it’s virtually invisible to people who’ve never seen it before. Kinda scary lol

@Mr. Davario P. no she's not tranny she just has masculine traits. What she is doing is using the spiritual wisdom and using it to gain the power and control over her followers. People must see this, it is one of her negatives.

@Mr. Davario P. She doesn't look like a trans to me, but whatever I'm not going to waste my time arguing with infantile trolls.

Mr. Davario P. 🙄

@Mr. Davario P. dude! Go away. You're an annoyance. Get a hobby

Fox and Moon Good one!

I pray you heal as I am trying to heal myself. I feel when I went no contact for 2 years I was feeling better and started to the healing process. Once I went back, one year now, I feel it has gotten worse, my emotions and sadness is so bad. Insomnia, anxiety and depression has stepped in. I was triggered recently by a sibling that did not want to take responsibility for something and twisted it all on me. So sad, so very sad. I think so many of us struggle with until we finally get therapy and help. I am not sure what to do. Do I go no contact again? This time stick with it until I am healed or forever not to be stuck in this incomprehensible confusion, pain, hurt, betrayal and dysfunction. I feel for all of us that have been through us. If you think about it, we are more family to one another, than any of our so called "families". I Thank God for you and your reply it helps so many others. Thank you to Teal too, since we are learning from her teachings and videos.

This butterfly blue matches your eyes. I 💙 blue.😊

I'm glad you realized that.

Self realization five 👏 🙂

Do you have update? Im 31 and I never explain my childhood to my girlfriends because I always think it will turn them off...

love him