@Nature and Physics When you figure them out, they realize they can't manipulate/control you. They no longer can exploit your weakness, because after a while-- if you're stuck in the cycle, you get tired of it and won't show empathy like before. You'll stand up for yourself. They'll most likely be sarcastic toward you and try to hurt your feelings by belittling you and trying as much as they can to get a rise out of you as their last attempts, to not just control your emotions but to give themselves a higher sense of self. This is what my recent ex did, but it's sad because she also suffered from other mental illnesses... Any how, not all narcissists will stop coming back. If you reach out to them, they will most likely reply eventually. I recommend not reaching out, just write in a journal instead and focus on yourself and ask yourself why you were attracted to the narcissist, and how to avoid getting involved with one in the future. Work and grow yourself, so you can see the red flags and walk away sooner than continuing the cycle. They have a hard time truly walking away, from my experience. Even another one I knew when I was younger, I was left along for...7 years and then he reached out again on instagram trying to get a rise out of me, gaslighting me and trying to blame me for things that were unreasonable. Then he tried to act 'sweet' by saying "if you want to talk, im here". I blocked him immediately. You just have to cut them out of your life because they cannot change.

@@jacec5785 mine done exactly as you stated, it's as if you were explaining my incident...she belittled me, tried to make me jealous flirting with my work colleagues of whom she said she hated, was sarcastic..she became very bitter and hateful because I could see her for who she was and figured her out...this false, insecure,self hating person and I was no longer gonna stroke her ego and be her door mat. She tried to ruin me,humiliate me but , I stood strong as if unaffected(I was literally dying inside) eventually she left me alone (we worked at same company) and left the company after 3 months of me discarding her. She broke cos I was grey rock and carrying on as normal yet, like I said previously, I was dying inside and no one was giving her the attention and admiration she was so desperately seeking...I so hope she dont come back and it is the final discard...its been 6 months NC and I dont want contact !

@Nature and Physics they consider figuring them out to be the ultimate betrayal and may punish you for it; they're also likely to try to tell lies to your support system in an attempt to besmirch your reputation before you have a chance to tell others what you've figured out. So they may not be attacking you one-on-one like they were but boy oh boy are they going to continue to try to ruin your life. Just ask anyone who's tried to divorce them.

@@jacec5785 You nailed that on the head with how they try get get the last rise out of you once they realize you figured them out. He was able to blame it all on me and ofcourse in the end said HE was the only one tryng to fix things. He seen I wasn't having anymore of it then the gaslight blameing and poking started.

@@jimfurik1042 I wanna say the same to you, it's like your explaining my sory tho mine was my ex boyfriend. He claimed he wanted to change, after a few months I said enough of the bullshit.

@T P - Congratulations! Make sure to make that year stretch into 10 years and more, with no contact. My ex wife, who is a VERY extreme narcissist actually tried to get me back after 11 years of no contact. She called me from a new cell phone she must have got, and her excuse was to tell me that one of the dogs we had together had died. She told me how much she had changed and that she was sorry for being the "world's worst wife" (her exact words to me!). I accepted her apology, but made it clear that I had moved on. Then a year later, she texted me a bunch of pictures of her "new man" and how crazy in love she was for him "like no one else before", and how they "have extreme sexual compatibility" etc......So I texted her back saying that's fantastic and wished them both the best. Then 4 days later she said they already broke up, and she said she was trying to kill herself, so I called the Police and then when they showed up at her place, she texted me that she hates me for calling the police, and how dare I do that to her, and she said a bunch of times that she wants me to die. She ended her rant with "Die. I'm a Witch, I will make it so".

Woooooohoooooo, stay away..... congrats to you, pray for me, I want a Woooooohoooooo, hallelujah too!!

Congrats! We should really give out cards for this! We give people birthday cards but I think we should have other adult cards like "You put together IKEA furniture without losing your sanity!" and "You found the strength to disconnect from an abuser!"

I just dumped him !,,, and I feel cleansed & free !🙏🕊

I dream of that day. Good for you. It's so hard

Illmee Illmee 🎯

True !!!

Gotta say Amen, even though I'm not religious at all. She blocked me for no reason and I'm very glad she did. I'm never talking to her again. I would probably puke if she tried to contact me again. Probably not really, but I will most definetely block her at once if she unblocks me and tries to talk to me again.

@@Strimlarn87 I was just discarded after we got back together the second time and I stood up for myself she blocked me on everything but she talks to me threw my second Instagram account and she always responds when I message her ( I know) but idk if it’s a tactic because now I can’t stop thinking of her and trying to reach out I don’t understand what’s happening

@@williammclaughlin8205 dealing with the same.

True or to get something from there. Gain, financially or etc

Same happened to me man stay strong.

Same thing happened to me. Twice. With the same girl. Trust me, she had been with that guy, grooming him for weeks before the break up.

@@aaroneldredge8877 did she call you?

@@libralove2471 she called in the fist month but I never picked up. As of today I have not talked to her in three months.

Hope ur doing well.

Its so true, he had been hoovering me for twice before and I always accepted him back. Till I was really really done and didnt reply him for 10 days without blocking him (I blocked him previously before he hoovered me twice), he was done too knowing that I was tired and done with him at the end.

💯💯

@@cuwi8558 same with me I am trying to make this one the final one I will stop contact

Facts

KEYA Moore IM FOR SURE DONE. NOW THE CREEP THREATENS ME

They literally unload their emptiness onto other people. People can suffer with cptsd after dealing with these individuals & the symptoms of cptsd are very similar to bpd.... Which means people in cluster B & turn normal/good people into themselves.

Last girl I dated was a borderline. In fact I've dated three of them (yes I have issues, I'm a codependent, and I'm getting therapy for it). In the end, I proudly didn't enable any of their crap anymore, I stood up for what was right. In any case. I'm sick and tired of seeing the myth that's promoted that "borderlines are truly good people, they're just misunderstood. If you give them reassurance often, tell them you love them often, they'll be an amazing partner." I was beyond supportive of all three, especially the last two. I knew they were diagnosed, so I literally bought books, read up on it, everything. In the end, constant emotional abuse, one was violent. They all treated me like absolute garbage when all I offered was love. The last one I dated, I nearly lost my job, and had to take a month leave off work after a mental breakdown. My psychs also say I have empathic traits so, yeah it was that much worse.

@@duderanch18237 that's not just limited to girls with bordaline... But all women in todays society. If you treat them too well (put them on a pedestal) constantly reasure them & make the biggest mistake of telling them you love them first.... They will start playing up. No girl likes a sure thing

@@duderanch18237 I could not agree more. Borderlines do dissociate and split; however, BPD is highly treatable. When a BPD does not seek help, it is because they enjoy the sadistic part of the disorder; and they get bored and want to move on. They know what they are doing.

@@vampireslayer1989 There were periods of cognizance the next day where she would admit she knew what she was doing. She has consistently put off getting into therapy.

Hey I feel like I’m stuck at the same place. How did you get over it/ accept it?

This. We know it’s stupid but it’s how we feel.

I escaped when my Narcissist Ex boyfriend , while he was at work. And no they won't let you go, they will Haunt you for the rest of your life , no matter how far you move, they get revenge and have their flying monkeys look for you

Cut them off.

Yes!

yes I no

So proud of you! That's great, thank you for sharing. My ex is similar. Though, she will never apologize and will continue to gaslight and turn tables. I'm glad she got mad for no reason at me and blocked me. I blocked her too. Never want to hear from her again, despite me always caring about her-- I know it's better to let go. She turned a mutual friend against me, she talked so negatively about me to her friends. It was very harmful. I'm glad she freed me.

@@jacec5785 Glad to hear this. Unfortunatley I wasn't the only victim. My teenage daughter also suffered the wrath of my ex (her step dad) she started self harming and had a suicide attempt. I got her mentl health help once we escaped. We took counciling together and now 2 years on our own she is doing fine.

I'm in the state of leaving my 25 years of marriage with narcissistic husband. I never had told even once in these years that I'll leave him or created any such fear. After so many narc attacks i took a stern step to divorce him. Now, he's not ready to give divorce and has brought children in between, again utilising my empathic nature, so that he can still continue with his narc life. Im bold enough to withstand and solve children's problems making them understand that if we live together they'll be forced to live in a disturbed family, so better all of us be happy!

the ex narc was also like that, very much the same..

Same thing is happening to me

Yupppp. Mine was soooo charming, dark haired, tall, handsome, 6 ft and a pharmacy student

Some of them aren’t especially the aging narc. A lot of them have bad hygiene as well. My ex was jealous that people were so easily interested in me and not him.

Ugh so true!

My narcissist is drop dead gorgeous. I hate him. 2 days no contact

Omg this is so true

I foolishly was discarded 7 times in 3 years and of course he always said that I treated him poorly. I was aware that he was likely a narcissist by the 3rd discard but kept going back because I truly loved him. This 7th time however is different for me. I will not be going back. I realize that he is very damaged and is not likely to change. I admit that I think about him every day and it has been almost 6 months, but I am never going to allow him to use me again. I believe he knows what he is and is very unhappy in his life but is showing everyone how happy he is to be rid of me. I just wish I could let those people know what really happened each time but I don't expect to ever be able to do that. He is a covert narcissist with a heart made of ice but shows everyone the false caring and warm facade. I'm better off alone since he never shared in my life but made my existence one to serve his needs......so very sad because we are both seniors. 😪

@@kathleenoshea4286 they do it to scare you they end it turn off their phone so u cant contact you....then they say sorry when u have stopped texting them it's a game of fear an manipulation. He knows what hes doing and everytime the have a tantrum you get discarded. I met my nasty narcissist after being widowed he seemed like a good person till his mask fell off. I'd give anything to have my late partner back he was a diamond for ten years true gentleman. Never treated me like this one.

joy elbel Facts

So true the cycles for me now sometimes are almost weekly finally ending contact today feeling strong enough

@@laurengamache2576 It's hard but well worth it in the end. You can do it!

Oh yeah..right there with ya. Though mine has burnt every bridge... I was just the last one.to stop the abuse. Good on you for changing the pattern

Same. Like random neighbors that try to shame you for not talking to your abusive mother. So annoying.

My mother was the most violent most dangerous person I've ever known in my life and she played the victim all the time. I'm talking about a High Spectrum malignant narcissist bordering on a sociopath. Literally arrested for murder once Absolutely. Thick and dark and horrible And people would say to me. You should go see your mother.

The people who cannot see through to the narcissist are not to be trusted, they are not your friends and they will most likely be used to either punish and hurt you or make you come back.

@Amy Shakalis Yes, when I try to explain this to people they will say well I would never be that stupid or I would never let anyone manipulate me or I'm too strong for that. They don't understand. It's a process it takes time. It doesn't happen all at once. Not to mention the fact that they are master manipulators and pathological liar.

But hes the one ignoring me for reacting to his manipulative and selfish behaviour.

I having trouble coping up with Trauma bond😔I hope someone can help.I still keep on thinking about him. Wanting him back.What should I do to move on😔

Yup 👍🏼

@@marygenieviloria2199give your heart to Jesus Christ he will heal you!

This is my first discard. We was together for 8 years. He monkey branched on me. He told me he wanted to be just friends. But when I found out about her, because she know all about me. He then to me to leave her alone. She and I work at the same hospital. She is 5 or 6 years older then we are. But he act like hates me, when told me to leave her alone. Do you think he will try to come back? And NO I don't want him back just asking a question.

I got hoovered back many times only to feel the repercussions from leaving in the first place. It only gets worse in time. And they never get over you ever they don't have the ability to internalize their emotions so they can never try to figure out what went wrong. They Only understand that you hurt them and they want to hurt you back.

Wow, 21 years! Good for you for leaving. I'm sorry you went through that. Do you mind me asking how often this cycle would happen for you? With your ex? I'm doing my best to notice the signs right away for future relationships. I was with a narc for 9 months and summed it up to her being BPD...but didn't realize how she also was a narc too, trying to inflict pain and manipulate throughout. However I'm curious if my experience was different because she also had BPD because of an ongoing emptiness within her (like depression), which I think is a different void feeling than narcs.

You seem to need attention your reaction sounds fake

Jane Rose why ??????

So they come back after 10 months???? Jesus

I feel the same way and it has only been 20 days nows

Starting to hate him..7 freaking years wasted..hope he gets more karma..

@@bibiumar3724 forgive and move on..narcs are evil

My nacc left me in the woods! Decarded me there! Done!

@@debbieshepherd5822 mine left me in DC which is 3 hours away in the middle of the night while I was asleep😡😭💔 literally out of the blue

I had no support whatsoever.. my family liked him..never believed me.. my so called friends neither. I have one friend who knew everything from the beginning and think god for that and another friend. For the rest no one !! I did it all on my own. People who don’t know what a narcissist can do to you don’t believe you! Unless they know and warn you but not here

I’m having withdrawals right now. I wish he’d come back :/ no contact for 8 weeks. Idk what to do. I just want to feel normal again and not think of him

I hope they have their families and friends to support them. The problem is when you're a kid and the narcissists are your parents. I wonder who's supporting those kids since nobody, not even on youtube, seems concerned at all

Marcos Californio : little children don’t know better... it’s only later in life you attract the same kind cause it’s recognisable... it’s “ safe” , you know!! At a later age you start realising something is off and start to think. When it all sinks in that’s when it hits hard ..

@@stephw3475 This feeling will pass, trust me. I totally regret going back, that caused so much more damage to my self esteem. Change the story in your head. Start telling yourself that you left him, he's on crack, he had herpes anything to trick your brain to not want him. It's worked for me.

Mine stopped it’s been 5months ..I’m the past it lasted 2weeks max

how long were you trauma bonded after leaving and how long did it take to get to the next relationship

@@faizasiddiqui3147 trauma bonded for full year after.. he went onto the next within months than came back than went onto another.. two women in between. Currently I am not in a relationship and you can imagine why lol. He is doing it for the both of us..

You're right.😐

How are you doing now Brittany? I have a very similar experience with the trauma bond,the breaking up, getting back together cycle for 5 years. I have been discarded many times by her and now again just a few days ago.

I wish I would have known that then!

@@stacymurphy2599 You know NOW. Don't let a filthy narc devalue you again. Self Respect & Self Love allways. We all had to learn the hard way especially when you give people the benefit of the doubt.

Would a narc admit to you that he made his cats eat shit (presumably because of his breakup with his GF and because it was the girlfriend that made him get those cats in the first place and now he is stuck with them)?

​@@rtorres9150 My ex did that to me too! "Take care, I'm blocking you now"....it's like, hi, I didn't even have to block you because I wasn't going to reach out to begin with but ok. block me. The reason why they have to say it, it's so sad they're on their own hamster wheel. Glad we can get off eventually and go for something healthier.

Jace C i played with her ego lol...i know she dont care....but deep down..she cares...because she have 3 kids on her own with the babydaddy which i believe he was a narc too..and to be able to accept her in my life with all of her baggage its going to be really hard for her to find “the one”....but...i had enough of her..the level of disrespect and calling me name like wtf is wrong with you...i had enough...i was fed up...im in a stage of my life that i want some peace...and let me tell you when a person loves you deeply it doesnt matter if she have kids or not..she will make time....im healing right now...i need peace...

This happened to me three weeks ago lol. I told him I was leaving and he said "don't come back" I said ok bet. lmao

During the breakup I had, I didn't knew he was a narcissist so I called it "mutual breakup" because he agreed with it too, but narcs don't just agree that easily right? 😂 I'm proud of myself for discarding the piece of shit.

mine sent me a picture of his new supply when i kicked him out my car lol he sent it to hurt me i was happy poor lady

Me too. Im so confused on who i am now. Was i the manipulator??

@@stephenjams the fact that you are asking that question tells me you're not the manipulator.

@@stephenjams me too 🙊

Me too

lol ikr

Same here...She just left because the wedding planning didn't match her vision. She threw me out like trash, disrespected my whole family and left leaving a gaping hole in me.

Can feel the agony and pain. 😢 been there

i agree, i texted mine "it feels good to be figuring all this out" and he couldn't have run any faster. do you really think they know what they are? i personally am AMAZED that their patterns are ALL THE SAME. do they read a cookbook or playbook to learn this stuff? i'm disheartened to have to be learning about it at this late in life (54)- but equally thankful that i wasn't just going crazy and this relationship was one of the craziest i've been in! (which says a lot, because i was married to an overt narc at age 26-36 and that was a brutal divorce with 3 kids.... but i never imagined i'd have the same horrible feelings / anguish from my current breakup from my covert narc. final discard 3 wks ago "rug-pulled-out-from- under -me" -style after a successful hoover. unfortunately i can't say i've been all No contact, but i think i am now, 1 day.... wish me luck. the trauma bond is wretched. our parents should be teaching us about this possibility waiting for us empaths in the dating world. i never knew what a trauma bond was, it's physically horrible. now i feel more empathy for heroin addicts trying to go clean.

I would have to agree, that the final discarded is when you expose them for what they truly are. I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years and I held him accountable for his behaviour. I called him out and went to the church pastor. O boy did that hurt him. I pulled the mask right of him. Long story short he got a narcissists trauma or injury whatever you call it. I discarded him, went no contact, silent treatment. Packed his belongings and sent him on his way. That was 4 months ago and I haven't heard a word from him ( THANKS BE TO GOD ) I DONT THINK THAT I WILL EITHER. BE CAUSE OF THE INJURY AND WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE IMIAG

Yep

I told him he was a bad person and a coward. I think that about did it.

Is that a discard or a act of self love?

Mine, within the first 8 weeks accused me of hitting on some acquaintance of hers on a dating site, I hadnt been on since I had slept with her, 7 weeks prior, she had to think about it and get over it. Then everything normal, then silent treatment a couple weeks later, "maybe we should have a break" 4 yrs later its 100% over as of yesterday, and she moved to a new state, and getting married lol so crazy

The insane jealousy never goes away!

​@@derekmarks8969I know she has a new supply but keeps driving by my mom's house .. hoping she can see me there lol and always asking my mom if I have this or that belonged to her even tho she let me keep it lol

They are evil. Protect yourself. Same happened with me. I've been running from this man for years before we were adults and were together and everything. He's so creepy and sadistic.

Exactly what happens to me. As soon as I stabilise and find myself, they make a grand re-entry into my life

Yep me too. It makes you have underling agree even after you feel better. Because you start to sense they will reemerge. 😢

You can just see it as a test. When you see them again come out of your emotional thinking and look at it rationally. Better yet personify them as dementors or demons sent to suck you dry or trick you off your own path to happiness. Clock them as a test or another opportunity to practice strong boundaries and nothing more. Leave your feelings for them out of it.

I was a month into no contact and he tricked me back into seeing him. That meeting made it uphill battle to let go because I got attached more after it. He know exactly what he was doing. Now he has me blocked again and ignoring me because I reacted to his selfish and manipulative behavior.

Did he ever end up reaching out?

No they don't reach out. They want you to reach out. Once you hold them accountable for there behaviour they don't like that one bit.

@@jonathanomahony688 that makes sense, if she reaches out, he will think she is not upset anymore.

They want you to reach out, fall all over them. Beg and cry for them. They love that attention. PLEASE DONT DO IT, YOU WILL ONLY GET HURT. NO CONTACT WHAT SO EVER. ITS THE ONLY WAY. I DID IT AFTER 35 YEARS WITH MY NARCISSISTS HUSBAND. THAT WAS 4 MONTHS AGO. I DISCARDED HIM AND WENT NO CONTACT. LIFE IS SO SO GREAT NOW FOR ME. WE ALL CAN DO IT.

It's been a month with no contact and he tried hovering me but I blocked him. It was a 9 year long relationship and it took me that long to finally see the truth. This social distancing has been really tough on me. He told me that the 9 years meant nothing to him and I asked him why he was doing this to me and he smiled, that's what finally shattered the illusion for me. This was the fourth and final discard.

@@alyissaaragon6943 I am in a similar position. It's been 9,5 years. We are separated at the moment and I haven't figured out how I want to handle it yet. In a way, I would love it to work with him (but that's just an illusion). On the other hand, even when a chance pops up, then I start avoiding it. Because I know with all that he has done- it can not be love. I have the whole span between wanting him back, to planing to call him and telling him all that's on my mind and closing it, to thinking to move on without bothering. Whenever I get the chance to close it, i get scared to do it.

avgonyma1 and that’s okay, in the same boat as well, mine was not nearly as long as yours but she did call me recently after having blocked me and cheated on me before quarantine and moving in with the new guy but I didn’t answer and then she didn’t call back but I GUESS I’m unblocked now but I think it was a drunk dial, I really don’t know but seeing her number on my phone really threw me back a bit because I was actually feeling great and moving on a bit and then that happened so it’s really frustrating.

Alyissa Aragon trust me, the 9 years meant more than you think, everyone can say that it doesn’t mean anything like my ex said to me after we broke up the first time mid drive on my way to see her, I remember it was on FaceTime and I was so excited to see her and she out of the blue wasn’t feeling it but I’m sure I did insinuate and act like a jerk for sure because I’m not perfect and I do regret somethings but I did love her so she says “I’m just not feeling this anymore Gabriel” and hangs up and I freaked out and I said “i have to go see you” and she was staying at a friends house in Sacramento where she lived, she wasn’t a stable girl but I showed up anyways and this was right after Christmas and we got a caricature done over the Holiday and when I got there I gave it to her cause she left it in my car and I said “you keep it” and she tells me “I don’t want it, why so I can be reminded of you everytime”? And I was bawling cause I wanted her so bad, I left because she wouldn’t stay with me the night, she said “the vibe isn’t there” and I told her to just let it but she refused so I drove back home another 2 hours. We got back together about a week or so later, not too long actually but she said her “friend” burned the caricature and I always felt that was a lie... then fast forward after Valentines Day and about three weeks pre quarantine and she ends our relationship out of the blue and cheats on me with her new guy, I don’t speak with her for a few days but when she does text me she tells me she’s with him in the morning once I woke up I had a flash image in my head that she was in bed with him and then she texts me a second right after so it was a strange moment, I call her only for him to answer the phone and says to me “you want to speak to Maddie, well I’m her now and you fuc**d up, damn she fine asf” and I had to hear him kissing her and she didn’t say anything, she just laughed a little bit and he said “she doesn’t wanna speak to you”.... so she moves in with him in LA, now my brother who watches her stories says she is constantly drinking, she always told me not to even drink a little bit and now she’s doing it, he says she is trying to numb herself but I don’t know. She blocked me and then two days ago called me out of the blue and I didn’t answer, it was like seeing a ghost on my phone but it set me back.. I was about to be healed and now it has me wondering what the F SHE COULD HAVE WANTED ... I know she doesn’t care unless it’s convenient for her but if she did she wouldn’t have hurt me that way when I took her everywhere she wanted to go, sang for her, played songs for her, bought her a nice bracelet she wanted and would ALWAYS ALWAYS kiss her on the forehead and at one point we couldn’t even stay together anywhere so we would go as far as to SLEEP in the back of my car, pull down the seats and pack it with blankets and pillows and it would get so cold but we’d literally snuggle up together... if that meant nothing to her then I don’t ever want to hear from her again 😔 (lie obviously 4:50am hate it)

That's normal...stay resolute...you know the TRUTH..don't ignore it..👊

He bro how is it when the female narcissit is a Psychopath?

Terminator!

Fun Lovin Bloke they wear masks. Lie cheat control you, jealous, create drama, pick tantrums for nothing and abuse verbally

Right

Well done live life for you and you alone. I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years and only discarded him 4 months ago. I had enough of him and decided I must move on for me. I discarded him, no contact and asked him to leave. 4 months on I am in a better place for me. Life is so good now ,no more drama. Peace and happiness for me. Lots of self love and respect for me. Doing lots of things for me, weekends away, concerts, hairdressers, lots of shopping and lunchtime out dining. People have said I look years younger. Must be that there is no more stress from the narcissists in my life. The meaning of life for me now is ............ LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU, AND YOU ALONE.

I thought your name was BIG NARC and I was like wth 😂😂😂

Yeah you should change you name to BIG NARC just as a joke :D

Young J Haha thanks for the laugh 😂 😂😂

Tell me about it and this neighborhood I’m live in now he grew up in. I get anxiety now knowing he depicts a different picture of what came to the end of our relationship

The do a smear campaign with their flying monkeys.

How are you doing 2 years later? I want know.

@@zach_blackburn wow i just read this message from 2 years ago. I'm doing great in a new relationship that I've been in for 2 years from last week. I'm glad I went through some dark times as I must certainly appreciate the good times now I couldn't be happier ☺️

@@markjolly Awesome. Thank you for replying. This gives me hope. I appreciate it man.

@@zach_blackburn as the saying goes "time is the ultimate healer". In time the fog will lift and the sunshine will show you the path to better times ahead

They are delusional. Mine said he wanted to end things and i said ok cool, then he said "stop insisting! Leave me alone!" And blocked me 😂😂😂 i never even insisted and i left him alone lol theyre truly insane

Its truly mind boggling. But remember, she didnt leave you because u loved her. She left bcuz Narcs cycle through people. She loved u at one point bcuz u were fresh and new in her life. But over time she got bored bcuz thats how narcs are. They cant have normal relationships with other people. They meet someone, idealize, devalue, and discard. Doesnt matter who u are. Also its a problem with them, they know something is wrong, but they would rather place the blame on others or stay the way they are...bcuz they are too afraid to face themselves.

I’m starting to feel like they don’t live themselves so you trying to love them eventually starts to irritate them smfh

Absolutely! My thoughts Exactly! Thank you!! Well said!!!

Hang in there! I have been with mine for 18 years... And he just dumped me after meeting a new girl about a week ago. You don't need to describe what your feeling... I know the hell you're enduring all to well! F#ck them!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 We really meant nothing to them AT ALL! 😢

Its unlike any pain you could imagine. Breathing is even hard. Obsessive thinking 24/7..hard to even function. Youd forgive it all just to have them back..you convince yourself you can live with the crumbs they offer.. Yes i understand..i am there now..once again..after begging his return this time last year...by April, one month into lockdown he does it again..days after discussing having another baby together...this one is final..hes still living in the family home and has no concern or understanding of what that has done to me. A partner of 12 years basically discards and ends the romanic, loving part of the relationship and thinks its perfectly ok to continue living here ( i allow it i know..but because im frightened and scared if he leaves of how to live without him - truama bonded) we sleep in same bed..he doesnt see the cruelty..its hell..im not allowed to discuss our relationship..its done..hes not changing his mind...and like that 12 years and a family are ruined for good... Im now working on my strength, watching as many videos as i can..educating myself until the denial lifts..he will not change... hes incapable of love..hes empty and never feels fulfilled...I want to be the one that says get out before he tells me hes found a place..i know he will refuse to pay rent anymore or contribute to the kids..he doeant love them..hes incapable. vain empty robot.. who i still love..what the hell does that say about me?? Things need to change i juat wish i knew how to do it fast. Dont feel alone..we understand how you feel..keep talking on here..im listening..it helps me too..

@@TheKirstenlou I feel just like you... I. hate myself so much. I have the best support system but I. am scared. to death.

@@jenzsa1 where r u based?

@@TheKirstenlou Indonesia

How are you now? Your post was 9 months ago.

It's 11 years for me and my narc and he has discarded me so many times I can't even count

@@anikaallen3741 Please walk away I know it seems impossible but you got this! You and your health and respect come first remember that!

Yelp review... Wow... What a fantastic idea...

luzsbelle, Sounds familiar. My girlfriend was BPD with Covert Narcissistic traits. I knew a Discard was coming as soon as she locked down her new Supply. So I ended things during the Devaluation. She freaked. Only through therapy did I finally understand that she was a narcissist. Though a year of research I taught myself about the spectrum of Cluster B Disorders........and Covert Narcissism. At the time that I ended the relationship, I just knew that something was wrong and that I was going to get destroyed if I allowed the relationship to continue.

He was probably already seeing new Supply when he was silent. You did the right thing.

@@vampireslayer1989 I congratulate you for being able yo stop abuse. I also taught a lot myself about this psychological abuse and that gave me the strength to move on.

@@victoriadorgu3207 he gave me a wrong password to log into his FB account, but I was smarter and tried until found the correct one. I could also got into his IG and the accesses to both accounts devastated me. Even though, they were the proves I needed to get out of that anxiety syndrom that I was suffering. Best decision ever!

🛑🛑🛑❤️the devil took my beautiful wife and 2 STEPKIDS. ON August 1st , AND IT WI,LL B E UNSURVVABLE, MAYBE I LIVE 6 months, maybe a year BUT IM 50. AND GOT ARRESTED On 8/01/20 MY WIFE OF. 12. YEARS LEFT, MY WIFE WAS SUPER FINE, SENSUAL, EROTIC, SOFT KINDNESS, 😭. WILD IN A tasteful, way, When we were. UNCLOTHED underneath the SHEETS. the pleasure she gave me still to THIS DAY ERODED MY. ABILITY TO. FUNCTION. IN. SOCIETY, I wonder if anyone reading EXPERIENCED SEX TO THE. DEGREE THAT YOU NOW BEG FOR DEATH.?. THIS IS A FATE Farr WORSE THAN DEATH..,,,,, I am now super stressed, irritable, and without the INCREDIBLE TOUCH from my lover and wife of 12 years, 3 DAYD AFTER ITURNED 50 it began. Up 💥🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽☠️💀💀💀💀💀THIS IS A FATE TAR FAR WORSE THAN DEATH.🛑🛑🛑🛑☠️☠️☠️☠️Definitely

debbie G,You are beautiful 🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

@@christianpulisic7784 thank you for the kind compliment. He is still in my life - I filed for divorce in May 2020 and it is not over yet. He is dragging this out - I guess being a narc, he cant lose. Out trial is set for August 16th. But I am happy to say I have not seen him in a very very long time.

@@debbieg8260 You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷🌺.I am Christian from the States.You?

@@christianpulisic7784 Im from Arizona. I must ask, are you dealing with this awful sickness of narcissism?

@@debbieg8260 Wow!!😍😍😍😍😍😍,are you on Hangouts or Gmail so we can always talk?

Wow 5 times in 3 years! Iv been discarded 3 times a week loool it’s crazy I hope your okay be strong

Yeah it feels like i cant go on at times.

It really must have been a nightmare for you! Sorry!

That is so emotionally abusive. This is what I'm worried about. He blocked me and ignoring me again. Im going to do the same now since its been a week of this, but I have to be strong if he tries to come back again weeks from now...

Jannifer Stoddard I am dealing with a verbally abusive narcissist. It’s so draining . His verbal abuse just escalates to get a reaction . It’s insane. These people just don’t want to grow and acknowledge themselves . They are so unfulfilled within. I swear they won’t settle down .. mine can’t stay in one job and I swear he probably has cheated or will.. can’t work him out. In arguments he has said he is off to sleep with another woman . Guess he says it for a reaction as I gave one before . I’m sick of being blocked and unblocked on repeat... Dealing with a man child

You're not alone. I'm going through the same things as u.

@@yourfavposterchild3536 Once I came across Oracle Girl, I flipped the switch and completely got over that devil and healed.

Aries Lady,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌹 dear

You wrote this 2 years ago, is that was really your final discard or no ? Did he tried to contact you after u wrote this ? Or that was a really final discard?

Seriously, they will promise you everything and the world. It is just a ploy a trick. It never gets better. It only gets worse in time.

They love the chase, and once they get you back, the abuse begins again. And again, and again, till you just get so burned out you can't participate anymore. You will always get the short end of the stick, always be the boogey man,

@@teresewoltz8627 I got hoovered back many times only to pay the price for going back. In the end they get so unbearable. So ridiculous. So abusive. You have no choice but to leave. They literally get A lot worse. They don't get better. I can just imagine my ex-wife who is definitely a High Spectrum narcissist. If not malignant trying to find source. To fuel her dark and pathetic existence Believe it or not. They are weak and they are pathetic.

Stay strong you will be ok your happiness will pull you through😊😊😊😊😊😊😊.

They NEVER change. They're incapable of it. Remember this. Then it makes ignoring the hoovering easy because there is no hope left in you for the narc to manipulate and use against you. They never change and never will change. Free yourself.

I love when things work out that way. Hope you're doing well! ❤🙏

@@CommonEgo I wish I could say they were. I've got myself a very different situation which involves a lot of the trauma bond. I'm so lost and feel helpless :/

Meghna Ravi I normally don’t do this but I’m looking for someone to talk about this more since my family and other friends are tired of my bullshit - would love to chat and we could talk about share our experiences - my email is mariamomar10166@gmail.com

Your comment really resonated with me, especially the part where you’d said narcissistic people seek broken soul w/ love-deficiency. I can’t say I fit this bill but..idk may I do and that’s why I’ve been in the relationships/friendships I’ve been in

I did something similar. She "cried" (was usually fake crying or crying over herself) when I told her I was going to see a therapist regarding everything and she said "the therapist is going to help you get over me faster". She was SAD over that..

Brother with all respect I had to laugh because I can relate to you in that one I almost go loco in the head but now I’m good. Hope you are well and feeling like a champ 💪blessings.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this now. It's so hurtful. I hope things turn around for you soon ❤🙏

Make sure you have all your ace cards ... to defend against any revenge they will seek in the future !!!

tauruswinds37...yes...thank you! It’s pretty much past that. At this point, it’s just get away with as much as is left. So tragic

Emotional roller coaster that leaves you exhausted all the time get off the roller coaster. Make the decision that you don't longer want to be treated this way. And start the process of healing and moving on. And watch The Narcissist scramble trying to get you back into their life. They will promise you everything and the world do not fall for it is just a ploy a trick.

25 years and I wish I was discarded now so I can run easier 😔

Same. I had no idea about covert narcissism and put up with it way too long 🙏❤

Update??

@@raeleenwest6859 Well its 5 years since i spoke to him, he tried to contact me 3 years ago ( came through in spam on phone) i ignored him. I am completely over him. I count myself very lucky i am not involved with him anymore, he was heartache and stress to me. I'm still single as i find it hard to trust men, but I'm ok on my own just plodding along and getting on with life.

Same here I thought m the crazy one . What I went through is 3 years of hell . Trying to heal and not sure when I ll be my same old self

This is the weirdest thing I experienced. Exactly: I'm leaving and he is crying then he says" he loved me "after that" he didn't" after that" he left me long time before and had another woman on the side" then that he never cheated 😨😨😨😨 I would advise you to not educate on narcissism but Codependency because that's what got us in this kind of situationshop in first place.

Just so you know, if you think it can't get any worse, think again because it does!! Try to love yourself and protect yourself like you would a loved one in the same situation. Step outside of it and observe what's really happening. I wish you well!!

Save yourself more of the same shit. After 5 years I had had enough of the ex narcissist. The love finally died for me but it's taken another 3 years to truly break free. Because he kept reeling me back in. Apart from the very first break up that knocked me off my feet, I always instigated the break ups because of his chronic cheating and lying. I am finally free because he instigated this final break up because I had the audacity to help myself to 2 neurofen which were apparently for his daughters only not me it seems - merely his girlfriend of 8 years. He went into a rage & threw me out of his house at 7am. There has to be more to it. I suspect the usual- somebody else on the scene. This time I have shed no tears over him, I even sing and dance since he's left my life. He shattered my self esteem and self worth over the years but it didn't break me. I no longer even feel annoyed at myself for wasting 8 years with such a vile being. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner and that I kept letting him back into my life. It never gets any better with them. Trust me. Set yourself free.

When he ghost you like that where is all the love he gives you going to those days he doesnt give it to you. If he does that he has no respect for you. Love and respect yourself, hold on to our Father God almighty in our Lord King Jesus Amen

What makes you think you deserve this type of treatment? You should seek therapy for it

Just remember : if you broke up, he’s not cheating. Now think about those 28 times again and see how you like it. He discarded you every time he was into another girl, did whatever he wanted and came back.

so whats your situation now? it hurts!!

Oh yeah; it does hurts. But look at the person like a insecure child that couldn’t express themselves to you. Look at your trauma bond from childhood and have empathy for the ex person childhood as well . I know it’s hard, but that’s what I did; to heal . I’m still healing and reaching out to my ex and evaluating his texts . Now he doesn’t answer my calls but answer to my text messages. But answer short or engage and reassure me he will be there for me about work related stuff. When I reach out he replies then ghost . Until I text again after days later . So it’s not easy and I’m being honest with you . I need to see the rejection to walk away . I guess this is my way of handling it . He have moved on 2 years ago we broke up and he strung me along for 2 years . We just stopped taking 2 months ago . So yeah . It’s hard . But I’m getting better day by day . God bless

Hey how are you doing now. I was discarded by a narcissist woman multiple times myself. I know it hurts a lot. You're not alone

A year now of dealing with a situationship, but I think it's over now for good. He's blocked me and ignored me for a week after I tried to apologize even though I reacted to his toxic behaviour.

I love that you were able to do that. People like this feed on emotional reactions ❤🙏

Detach from emotion that's the key. It's like the saying "fight fire with fire", ironically we have to become as cold as the narc in order to free ourselves from them.

Trauma bonding

@@jordanshotter2235 nice term. My first marriage started that way. Two people lost at sea is not a great way to start, but it's very common.

Glad to hear you're done. Everyone deserves better than narcissistic abuse 🙏❤

Yes my tip is to stop letting them manipulate you making you feel bad for them stop their bull crap and start talkback the narcissist man cannot stand that and that's what I did do you think he's going to call back I hope not

If you dont call, he most likely will try to call you. Telling you not to call is often a play...when he calls dont answer...block his number.

They never truly leave you alone 💔 I can no longer keep count of the discards...

Block him from everything everywhere forever. He cannot contact you even if he tries.

Well done, don't look back at any price.

@Karen H - Why did you block me everywhere Babe?!!! I was just trying to be friends with you and show you how much I CHANGED! Besides, you know that every problem we had was your fault right babe? (sorry, I can't play the role of a narcissist very well ;) lol

This was my situation. After all the abuse and final discard, we went 11 months NC before they messaged me saying they were sorry and wanted to “be friends”. We became FWB for almost 2 months before I found out they were dating someone else. I blocked them on everything. It’s been 3 months of NC and I miss them so much. I want to unblock them so badly.

That's where I at . But I stood up to him. Now he's trying to destroy me and my reputation with mutual friends.

@@Katiegrace58 That's what they do mine did that for years and years still does 29 years down the line! This is my ex narc husband i divorced in 1995!

It's been 10 months. Hopefully you're doing better than you were 🙏

you have a deep love for yourself, not for her, the mask that gets you addicted is toilered with parts of your character, heal vulnerabilities to this disorder, true love is not deceitful, this people have low self esteem, they can not love.

She wanted wanted control you like the flip of a switch. Just like my ex. We are strong, they can't handle themselves thus act like 2 year old kids. Little did he know I was ready and done. He projected this entire relationship and i see all his little childish games. He's weak.