My wife and I were watching television and she was laying on my lap. She told me that it was her favorite place to be. She said it was like being on a cloud. She also asked me if I wanted to trade her in for someone younger. I did not. A couple days later she left me. It was the coldest I had ever seen her. She acted like she had never cared for me at all. She was disgusted by me. Turns out she was having an emotional affair with a guy in another country. A guy with a wife and two kids. My brother was murdered and this discard hurt me more than that. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. I didn't know a person could hurt that much and live.

It's literally enough to make you question your own sanity. Even after I've gone no contact I still play back in my mind if I did something wrong or if I was the narcissist because I went no contact or stood up for myself.

It took me awhile to catch on. But, once you know about narcissism, you will find you see it very clearly. Just take your time in all your new relationships. Don't let anyone rush you into anything. 😻

You see the true character of a person at the end of a relationship. Cruel.

I wouldn't say they're looking for the perfect partner, but rather that they are looking for a partner who makes *them* feel perfect.

I became the “burden” after 3 years of giving so much that I had nothing left to give. Its one of the most painful and fucked up things I’ve ever been through

Do narcissists eventually realize that the perfect relationship doesn't exist? You'd think after discarding dozens of partners they'd start to realize they're chasing a mythical concept.

" They don't think you deserve the person that they're acting like " ... Wow, that line right there!

🤔 One reason: 👉They simply cannot, nor will they ever, accommodate the depth of moral values or the capacity to live as genuine co-operative, peace-loving human beings.

Here’s the thing - it’s only a matter of time when people in a suburb or metro area will figure them out - eventually the narcissist runs out of fuel/supply AND risks getting exposed - so they’ll move to another metro area or town and get a new job because at that new area, there is new fuel/supply and the narc can conduct their lovebombing/devalue/discard phases again - and move to another area and repeat it again …and again …and again You wonder why some narcs move constantly- to prolong the mask and get more fuel/supply

this hits home. no one wants to get sick, but it happens and you hope your spouse loves and takes care of you. with a narcissist? you're on your own. yes, when your sick, you become a burden. sadly, it took a long time for me to realize what a sick, abusive and toxic relationship I was in. but knowledge brings clarity and healing. thanks, christina

My marriage to my covert narcissist had been toxic a long time. But it was when I threatened to take control of the finances that she headed for the exit and filed for divorce which came as positively zero shock to me because I had finally figured her out.

You'll never be good enough to the wrong person and my friend the narcissis is the wrong person 👍 Christina and survivors and thrivers 🙏🦋

If you’re giving your all and it’s not enough, then you’re probably giving it to the wrong person. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

Devaluing phase, since this happens over time this is when I noted a slight competition ramping up, it serves the narcissist to be "always correct" while out scouting for new supply.

I went through all of what you said in the video. I did leave after 30 years of marriage. I miss him but I'd rather be alone than to continue going through that for more years.

Every time I try to leave he blackmails me by using our children as leverage. I have 8 years left until my youngest turns 18. Until then, I am getting a college degree and learning how to support myself and survive on my own...so when I'm finally able to leave, I will have the full capacity to just GO and never look back.

A "fair weather relationship style" is a good way to summarize it. It's good advice to cut your losses if discarded as a possible burden when having a tough time. That is a preview of things to come if you stay.

Hi Christina, I left him 11 years ago, and he was shocked, bitter, and was speechless. I heard he rebounded in 2 weeks and married her. We were in a 5 year relationship and engaged. I was FUTURE FAKED since he had no intentions of getting married. When he married only 2 weeks after our breakup, I was devastated! Even though I left him, I still loved him, but realized too late that he was a narc. He was GREEDY, so he married a very RICH woman. After 11 years, the love is gone and I no longer miss him. I was probably SMEARED by him to his new wife. I know it bcse I know him. I don't care. I don't know where or who he's with today. He had no friends, so Flying Monkeys are out! I'm happy again, and have been getting out more. Thank you for this topic!

I hate that I’m still going through my trauma bond. It’s been 19 months since the discard. He’s been with his new girlfriend (supply) for a year already. They’re celebrating their one year anniversary on a very luxurious vacation in Tanzania. I did so much for this man. Treated him like a husband and son at the same time. Was there for him emotionally, physically and mentally. He didn’t do half of the things he’s doing with her with me. He’s been on several trips around the world with her and he never did those things with me. He’s always been very financially stable, so that was never the issue. It often makes me feel as though I’ve been wrong this entire time. Perhaps he’s not a narcissist. Perhaps he just didn’t want me and instead of telling me that, he manipulated me, and kept me in a relationship for 16 months that he knew deep down inside, he didn’t want and wasn’t interested in that way. It hurts me to see how easy it was for him to just walk away from me and start this relationship with this woman and be so happy with her. I hate that I’m feeling this way still. I’ve tried dating other people. I’ve tried moving on. And I just can’t stop thinking about him and how he’s hurt me. I don’t want him back, but I don’t want him to be happy either. Not after everything he’s put me through. He doesn’t deserve to be happy like this and I’m still in pain. I still think about him and the discard every single day. I try to find information on him and his new supply every single day. It makes me feel like I’m the one whose crazy. I was never like this with other relationships that ended. Yes, they may have hurt, but I was always able to move on just fine. I don’t know what has made this one so different.

This is it exactly. Just made me cry. I have chronic illnesses as well as mental illnesses. My dad was dying and I had to go through to stay with my parents, to care for my dad 24/7. Physical care, shopping, cooking, housework, etc. I would come home for a couple of days. I would collapse and stay in bed for 2 days. I was made to feel guilty for that. Because I wasn't doing housework. I was called lazy. He discarded me right after my dad's funeral. I had no idea he would do this. I had wanted to leave so many times, but had no way of doing it. I got home and he had gone. I had no way to get to two hospital appointments that were necessary. My car had blown up a month before my dad died. He then played the victim. He had tried to strangle me. I tried to get away from him, by pulling his genitles. He went to the police with that. I went to tht police with sexual abuse, attempted rape and strangulation. He has gotten away with it. Not enough evidence. We have had no contact since he left, apart from when he came to get his belongings. I was lucky that my mum, sister and brother in law drove 120 miles to be here. He even tried then to bully me. But I had made sure to pack all his stuff before he got here. Including rubbish. My brother in law made sure he took it. He also played the empath for a while. Crying because the cats ran away from him. He was crying for himself, not the cats. He discarded me by saying that I only have about 30 years left, because of my illnesses and he didn't want to be left as a miserable old man. He also decided he wanted children. We had tried and I had miscarried. Then, hit menopause. He said that to me. The worst things he possibly could. My heart broke, realising that I had given my all for 12 years. He had nothing when he married me. He moved into a beautiful fully furnished house, from a place of squalor. He still owes me £500. I will never see that. Thank you for reassuring me that it was not me, but him. X

My discard experience combined all of those 3 points: I was very weak, mentally and physically last year, I've exposed her, I made her feel I'm about to leave her, on our last days, before, of course, she acted dramatic and used me during our last university application travel. Both happened 2 nights before our last travelhe judged me, although I dodn't want too leave nor hurt her (but I said a very hurtful and truth feeling about her attitudes, but I had no single yelling argument while being woth her). Now, after almost a year, my healing journey couldn't go better. It's the time I only rediscover myself daily and shape my own frame. At the beginning, it felt like the end of my happiness, but happiness it's around the corner, when you shed regrets, understand and forgive yourself for not being ok or acting awful, but take those good-bad experiences into higher self and well being. Take support, watch videos about narcissists and self aware narcissists explain their pattern, read, meditate, do sports, especialy nerve releasing trainings or martial arts and experience new things and fields❣💜

You described my ex to a t. After saying eye’m the perfect womxn for him, he slowly kept acting oddly and more and more cruelly. In the end he said he’d get bored with me. That eye’m the abuser. That eye didn’t even try. Would insult me to then have s.ex with me to shut me up. And would even say, ‘we had s.ex. That means we communicated.’ Kept giving me silent treatments to punish me when eye voiced my feelings or tried to communicate. Would triangulate me with other girls in front of me and on insta and just ghosted me instead of breaking up. So many hurtful details that keep haunting me. Ended up with three therapists.

This was SO valuable. I am in a no contact time. But there's no chance of getting started again. I am an older woman who does not want to risk being tossed if I get ill at an even older age.

I watched this twice. I hope you know just how accurate you are!!!

I've been discarded by my adult narc daughter. Honestly, I dont miss her drama, criticism, and hatefulness. What I do miss is my 5 year old granddaughter! Of course she is keeping me from seeing my granddaughter and there's not one thing I can do about it ! It's absolutely heartbreaking!

That is how it can be, it can even be worse, some can navigate through the results of the nightmare over time; some need a professional to guide them over time. Life changing events should be taken very seriously, this should be a learning experience so it never happens again. Never give up.

The man I “was” involved with (I chose to end & go No Contact) thought you were not supposed to have “any ups or downs, no conflicts & that it should be a magical connection at all times”‼️ Please, tell me does anyone know ppl who have that kind of relationship, I bet not⁉️ He suffers from delusional thinking, scrpting a false reality of his own creation, what happens to these ppl⁉️ I have ignored his attempts to “bait me” or hoover me back in because, over time, I finally could identify his predictable, pervasive pattern of behavior.

I thought I’d found the love of my life but having watched videos like this since he abandoned me after my dad died (nice, eh?) I realised that not only was my late father a Narcissist but so was my ex-husband (and my ex). I realised I had to work on things like self-worth (which I’d always lacked), boundaries (never really had any) - oh, all sorts - but now I realise my value I know I am the prize, not the man I’m with. And I bet he knows it (ha ha)!!

Oh my God this video resonated so much. I recently had to take an emergency trip home because my mum was very unwell. Narc was super supportive and loving. I got home and was very focused on my mum and family. Well, narc got upset at me for not booking an earlier flight back to go to a wedding with him (of people he'd never even mentioned before). Then he got angry because I didn't want to go to a concert in another state shortly after taking the 20 hour flight home. Bear in mind that my mum is very ill, I haven't seen my family in three years due to the pandemic and I'm grieving. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. He dumped me while I was in another country, looking after my dying mum. His reasoning? "You never want to do anything I want to do". It made no sense and it was like he was a different person. After four years of discards and "apologies" I'm finally done. Your videos are helping with the pain. Thank you ❤❤

Awesome discussion! Appreciate this topic. Survived! 3 yrs no contact and still healing. Appreciate you!

Christina, you are inspiring. I want to help people like you do. He left me shortly after I said "we'll never be on the same page, will we?" It was the one singular moment of clarity I had during the 9 years we were together. I'm glad he discarded me then because that one moment gave me strength through the hoovering and harassment. 2 years no contact and that first year I watched your videos to help me make sense of the pain and horribleness. I'm happier than ever. Healing is not a straight line though, its up and down, back and forth. I watched this video today because i had bad dreams last night.

My ex wife reeled me back in and for 6 months is was amazing and I fell for it hook line and sinker! Everything was great and then ZERO signs or not a slow transition nothing it was like she flipped a switch it was instant! She’s right it’s hard to believe until you’re living it!

The content presented in this video matches my personal experiences with with every controlling, immature, insecure person who has ever discarded me. I "hurt" them by simply, and finally, enforcing my boundaries and attempting to communicate with them as two equal adults. These people can't handle a mature problem-solving conversation. It throws them into a ballistic rage. Each time, with each one of them who has come along, when I finally stopped playing along with their gaslighting, patronizing, manipulation games, it lead to a discard. The stunts they pull next are a hellacious experience. I've been through it multiple times, but it always plays out the same way: The devaluation. The silent treatment along with the smear campaign. The discard. The loss of friends and family to their gluttonous lies. I'll take being alone and free over being just another one of their game pawns any day. I also love being away from their incessant gossip and whining. I don't miss that at all. I don't care how charismatic or physically attractive they are. It's nerve wracking. My health has been improving more and more every day in their absence! I'm really impressed the the factual content and supportive helpful tools which were presented in this video. I'm joining!!!

I have personally witnessed a covert in action when her husband fell ill & she had to take care of him. She grew bitter, frustrated & for the first time I’ve seen her exhausted ( ironically how she made everyone feel through out her life ) . She was like fake nice to his family - like I’m taking care of him, but behind close doors - yeah her anger showed. I made sure to check in numerous times to make sure he was being taken care of. I held her accountable by doing this. Her care for him was all show for his family & in her mind - look at me how caring I am .

He discarded me saying that he does not feel attraction because he said I look like a man 🥸🤷🏻‍♀️ two days before he was complaining because i use too much make up 😖

They can't handle the truth, is the main one I think.

I know I'm late to the party! but thank you for making this video! I didn't realize my ex was a covert narcissist! I got sick one morning and my ex was getting ready for work, I started to feel really sick! and my blood pressure got high, and I told her that she should call 911 cause I'm not feeling well at all! and she's going to have to stay with our daughter, she got mad and said I'm going to miss more days from work! she was worried about her job, well I'm slipping closer to death, I couldn't believe how she reached to me saying that I'm not feeling to well..this happened a other time when I had a asthma attack, i was having shortness of breath and she was getting ready for bed, knowing I had a hard time breathing, and one I found out she was cheating on me for 9 years out of the 15 years we were together, a month later the discard, didn't see that coming! and not even a minute later after the discard, she started treating me like trash! and the rest of the time, like I never existed! I never experience such evilness in my entire life! thank you again for educating me about the covert narcissist and the discard! now I can rest my mind from wondering what I did wrong and the feeling of worthless, cause now I know it wasn't my fault! keep up the awesome work you do! much appreciated!

Mine discarded me last week😮‍💨 it hurts but I’m getting better day by day.

That’s what’s trippy the way they discard. But freedom sounds more amazing than being with him

Wow you described him perfectly! Ok in the morning and done with me by the afternoon! Moody, couldn't care any less attitude, no empathy, silent treatment. One minute loves me then i grate on every nerve he has. He's ill in the head. So glad i got out 2wks ago! The peace i've felt since and the time to self i will not lose again 💪 i asked for help with the garden 🤣 not seen or heard from him since after a 6mnth relationship with him. Crazy times 🙄 xx

Such eye opener! I had no idea that I was dealing with covert narcissist all along. All puzzles came together and I am shocked. Thank you for this invaluable information.

*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

"They have COGNITIVE empathy and pull a 'you can't fire me because I quit!" This is incredibly infuriating. I can't even get the peace of mind doing the discard. Caller blocked one. The game used to be I'd have to call and leave a message and kissing their ass and uncaller block them and then they would talk to me. Refused to lift the CALLER BLOCK. They would just hang up on the 6th ring each time. Fine! Their silent treatment begats a permanent ghosting from me

I’ve just been discarded after a two year live in relationship with a woman I’ve had an excellent friendship with for fifteen years. This talk I had to listen to twice, it described almost exactly my situation. Many thanks, it made me feel less confused!

My narc was slowly pulling away for a month, then I discovered he’s been with someone else and sounds like it’s been a while. Had I not looked at his phone I would not have known he was seeing someone else. After these 6 years it makes me wonder how many times he’s done this

7:13 Yes, yes, yes! If you even suspect someone of narcissism, distance yourself asap! You cannot fix them, and they will likely ruin your life if you get too close. The abuse, the false accusations, the financial exploitation, the damage to your reputation from their smear campaigns. I can say from personal experience that it is not worth it!🏃‍♀️

Yeah I was thinking bro would comfort me in my anxious phase lmao. Bro dropped my ass. I wondered why I fell sick so many times in just the two months I was there compared to so many other times in my life. I could tell he was irritated. He convinced me to go to the hospital and tried to act like he would cover my bills. When the bills came, he acted like he didn’t say anything like that. Just left that relationship in damage.

They pull you back in, while they try to secure their new supply behind your back. They are doing this on purpose. Don't think them having a backup plan was by accident. They may have already talked it over with their closest friends.

When I stopped chasing or fawning he got sick of me. When I started calling out his breadcrumbs. I got ignored away like a coward he was. It hurt to be tossed out like trash out a car window, but I cut him off completely. Best thing I ever did. Hard because I worked with him. Then a year later I moved on to new job. I had to stop the contact. He had spies.

My son and this wife are narcissists they make their lives miserable and when they are done feeding off each other they will look for a new source of fuel. I stay the hell away from both of them all the time.

Wow. This resonated with me so much! This is exactly what I went through and I was left feeling so confused and disoriented after being brutally discarded when I thought we had a wonderful relationship. I feel so validated. Thank you!

Wow yes he was never there for me when I needed him he was so selfish and only cared about himself thank you so much for this video!!! Wow you touched on things 💯

My narc is currently attempting to hoover me but he's been out of the picture for quite some time now and any emotional connection I had has worn off and I'm not biting. He's been calling, texting, I miss you, blah blah blah. It's actually very funny to see the desperation without responding.

Don't ever take them back

Thank you!!! This, and all your videos, have helped me incredibly and enabled me to understand what I have experienced. You are a saviour.

This video was so incredibly helpful to me! Thank you! It's true, adoring a spouse 100% is NOT sustainable. Problems arise in life and you work through the issues to find the compromise. That's normal. But unfortunately, with narcissists, this is not the case.

I love your common sense approach and the gentle and understanding way in which you deliver it. You are good for people who want to be genuine all the time and have a happy life with real relationships. Thank you for your insight.

everything in the relationship is transactional and the rate of inflation is insane

The only reason I am watching this video is because she called me a narcissist just before we broke up. I didn't really know what the traits were so looked them up and sure, I have 1 or 2 traits but she had 7 or 8! The day she ended it, we went to a "party" with pool, music, food, drinks etc for most of the day. We had an argument over something asinine whilst there but nothing serious. Other than that she told me she loved me etc. When we left, I said I was going to go home, get changed (we were both in swimming costume) and she should too. Then we will meet in an hour for dinner. She wanted me to get my stuff and go with her but I was literally next to my home so I told her I'd quickly get changed then meet her. She started "crying" told me I was selfish and stormed off (The selfish part really got me as I had spent most of the day with her and paid for everything). Once I was home, an hour later she sent me a text saying "This isn't working for me. I want someone that makes me their priority and listens to me".

These are definitely some extremely confused individuals, and they will not stop at anybody to feel some comfort in themselves.

This is really an amazing channel. To experience a narcissistic relationship is like no other. Hello the everyone here. 😊❤

WOW........ I wish there had been more knowledge & information in 2007. This is exactly what happened to me...... I was gutted 😥 The light inside me went out. I was blindsided. Would love to share my journey with you, but too much for this forum.

My ex became so mean and empty toward me once he threatened to leave me. I discovered he cheated and the last time I spoke to him before he left town (he chose to leave town) he admitted to being on dating sites but never apologized for it or had any remorse at all for how he treated me. I just told him he was a coward and a user and I hope he repents and comes to know God but that I would not be with him for that. I told him I was leaving now that I knew the truth. I forgive him but it still hurts. I'm grateful for my husband I am now married to. He truly loves me and has been a huge source of support for recovering from the abuse I endured before.

Yes listen to her 👏 🙌 😍 ❤ It hurts being with them they are like faking who they truly are. They are all about them and their feelings,wants,needs and yes themselves. Xxxx

Jesus I feel so understood with your videos thank you so much. He broke up with me once and I didn't react to it because it was so sudden I couldn't really believe it. When I came back to have a discussion about it because it made no sense to breakup over something so stupid... we were back together for a day. I saw him again and I could see how fake his intentions were, finally telling me all I needed to hear. Then he broke up again the next day saying I screwed up and it was all my fault. And this time, it wasn't like the first time where I was pretty secure and understanding of his decision. I felt like I lost the most valuable thing in my life somehow, I never reacted like that to a breakup in my 27 years of life, I felt like a little kid and had no idea why I was behaving so compulsively. Even my friends of 10+ years who saw all of my breakups before were so freaked out by how I was behaving, my mom even came to the rescue because they were all worried about me... thank you so much, I'm crying right now because I can relate 100% and finally something might help me after 6 months of ruminating over it and thinking I was a worthless piece of shit, no matter how many hours of therapy I took.

Holy moly! I experienced every single point you touched on with my xnarc! 💡 Thank you! 💯❤

Easy no contact. I was discarded!!

One time I called him, that I feel not so good. I asked him to come to my house. He said: this isn’t possible, he works on the house, but I can come over ( 120 km).

I'm so glad I came across this VID it has opened up a new level of knowledge to help me understand why my wife discarded me without a early sign.

Thank you. Really struggling after an abusive discard. This video helps. 🙏♥️🦋

4:20 That makes a lot of sense actually! I’ve had a few narcissists in my life who once I figured them out & started to distance myself, they immediately called it out and made me out to be the problem. They acted so pitiful and hurt, but I did not fall for it, as I knew that was all part of their manipulation game. One of them even had the nerve to call me “passive aggressive” behind my back for not wanting to be close anymore.🙄

Excellent video. Thank you so much! I have been no contact and divorced almost 2 years. I'm am so free and at peace!

Oh my they are so cold. Yes was with my second narcassist. They were affecting my health so bad I was having to wear a heart monitor.

Thank you for your channel 💗🙏🏻

When you take them back there mask as completely off and they are disrespectful lie about everything and gaslight and future fake and they will hate you they destroy but you as a empathy build

I have experienced all that you mentioned in this video, We have been together for 3 years and married for 2 years. I was totally oblivious, the discard was shocking, he has triangulated me with my own mother and set up a situation where she has had to temporarily live with him... it's a long story she has 6 more days now until she moves out, he started bringing his new supply to spend the night right in front of my mother and even introduced her. This is after he tried to brainwash her that I cheated on him, she was so afraid that she would be kicked out she had to agree that she believed ....I suffer mostly from rage and anger ...the smear campaign started months before. I find myself wishing horrible things will happen to him. I am working on getting over it. I have had contact with him for a week or so now. Damn these types of people are pure evil, why didn't I see it

When you know what you're dealing with always discard them first and never ever go back there are textbook predictable the knowledge is out there he'd the warning signs good luck everybody

Excellent content!

Cash you're so thorough I love the way you explain things and you left me feeling validated and with hope God bless you❣️

This is how my wife has been for years. Currently my head is spinnijg, im so confused and glad i found this video

After a whole year, only a narcissist would say that I am a “burden” upon knowing that I would have relocated for that person. Glad it’s over and I didn’t relocate!

Here's an example of mine. I called my wife on her behavior emasculation and un accountability. And her Narcassism. Narcissistic injury!She played victim reversed the role and began to record our arguments. Started a smear campaign and phoned the police or threatened in arguments. Created a police log. They're never was any abuse but from her. One day I have two officers at the door serving me an "order of Protection" discard complete! Cut me off from communication ,control of property. Basically tried to steal everything! The campaign is falling apart! She was served with a petition of divorce and a stay on all the property! Stay tuned! This one's not over!

I have been through it. It goes exactly like this. Almost like it is from a script.

I’m glad it’s not just me 😭 I’m going to listen to this 50 times…gives me relief during discard I’m experiencing …❤️‍🩹

It’s so crazy, I feel like all your videos are a biography on my partner. The real crazy part is that after I recognize and try to resolve things. Anything I happen to mention in order to (buzz words they never heard in their life) just get flipped around when not even applicable. Despite fact they agree, and admire everything you say and how conduct yourself with others…They are really good when they leave you scratching your head watching self help videos questioning yourself that maybe you are the narcissist. (Although they literally supporting exact actions and definition, they ignore, are upset for what they can’t define or won’t but will sleep like a baby). If you get upset “they appalled or disgusted etc etc. It’s the worst form of abuse! At least physical leaves evidence that even heals. This behavior ruins people.

I agree, There is one quote from a narcissist ; " I was long gone before I even left you." That came from a narcissist

Also the discard is usually not final. Often it operates more like "shelving". They put you on a shelf, and takes you back out again when they deem it necessary.

After watching your videos I get sick to my stomach over how blind a fool I had been. How calculating and devious my ex-wife was.

My ex discarded me two times… always after I said that this his behaviour is not okay . He said let’s talk about it… and then out of nowhere he said he had no time for a relationship , he didn’t feel like a man, he isn’t able to have a relationship just occasional relationships …

😮MGaaawwWD 😢So unfathomable You explained How they work and I truly love him And I just can't believe he could do this

im so thankful for all your videos they have been very helpful .thank you

He told me that he wanted to marry me...once his divorce was final. I was like, nah I'm good on that. 😑

my enlightenment journey started by learning to trust my first impressions and knee-jerk responses to his mistreatment and abuse- instead of trying to justify his actions and reactions as something I caused.... later i told myself to "detach!" because he was never going to treat me the way i wanted to be treated (or the way i consistently well-treated him.) i was still was very confused and hurt during the trauma-bond-breakage and nonsensical/abrupt discard- losing weight, unable to sleep, truly "withdrawing" like someone would describe withdrawing from a drug feels--- constantly ruminating over the relationship events for months. but once i realized his ENTIRE LIFE is an act, and how he was JUST ACTING the whole time! he was ACTING when he pretended to admire/desire me (in the beginning lovebomb stage)- and that he REALLY felt hate and disdain for me all along- i then understood his BS "change" from love bombing to devalue more clearly. he was luring me the WHOLE time, pity-playing his life/mood, enjoying it from a hunting perspective, i was fresh/new meat. it was all a game. it's hard to realize you've been toyed with, manipulated, and used, but it's a lesson you had to learn in your lifetime? i don't know. many people are lucky and never have to experience it. but the hell we survived doesn't have to define us, and it's NOT OUR FAULT. he will do it again to the next poor victim. and we can't even warn them, because he'll twist it that we're crazy and stalking him. the irony of it all. truly a NO WIN situation. NO CONTACT is the best way to say "you can never punish or abuse me again."

My husband was just awful, while I was having a painful periods. He would scream and yell at me, to fix his dinner. I was so sick with headaches, and I was bleeding so much. He slammed the bedroom door and left. He had like a temper-tantrum. He would call me smelly and lazy, just because I was trying to recover in the bed. One time, he kicked me hard in the middle of the night (while I was sleeping) and he denied it ever happened. I am so glad that I am past that phase of life. He was so mean and nasty. He was abusive to me again, after I had bowel surgery and I became too weak to do any household duties. I can bearly walk now with a cane and I am unable to drive. I feel trapped in a relationship with him. He is caustic and abusive at a drop of a hat, as he is unforgiving in every little thing. I do sometimes sass back at him and try to take up for myself. He is accusatory every chance he can get. I have not been able to drive for more than 5 years now and I have only one friend. I live pretty far from the city. I have not been able to work for nearly 10 years or more. I have no place to live, if I leave him. This area is having a housing shortage. We have no social life now, even before covid-19. I feel lonely all day, while he sleeps. He works weekend nights, in the overnight. I am lonely at night, when he is not there. I am not happy with him or my life. I don't know what to do, not able to work, now I will be 60 years old, without family out of state. Mistykitten1

When she left this time she told me i was no longer her burden even though she is the one constantly sick, moody etc with health issues and her over the top needyness but toxic behavior

I thoughti had saw it all in 34 years of trying over and over with him until the discard his lip crurled in utter contempt and a look of pure hatred across his face it scared me to death,there was no going back after that I could not wait to get away from him it was the most terrifying look I have ever seen.

After any blowup or breakup she acted like she was healing or i needed to be hubbled and heal myself etc etc it was pretty constant even in the end

EXACTLY how it happened!!!!

Very accurate. We were supposed to be this incredible love connection/ perfect match, but I sensed a shift in the relationship a little while ago, he became very controlling, any little thing I said would get him into a sulk, with me apologising for even asking him if he’d dealt with some official matter yet. So yes, I love you in the morning and “ I’ve had it up to here with you” from him in the afternoon. I quickly left for good. I know it wasn’t my fault, which helps ..but it still hurts. ( I’ll get over it) Maybe irrelevant, but he also had a stereotypical Scorpio personality.