Fireheart Lightning I have bn investigating whether or not my cousin is a narcissist..I think part of me never wanted to admit it.. thought she was just a selfish, heartless, arrogant bully but alot of the things u listed off here tells me that she def fits the profile alot more then not..I still think she's a lower grade narc, in the sense that I don't believe she's a sociopath or psychopath (but sometimes u nvr knw considering how sneeky they r) but getting to my point, I think u put it into perspective alot more then any other info i'v found so far since it was simple, cut, dry and to the no bullshitt point, thank u!!!🙂 love and light💚💛💜

@PR thank you, if she ever comes back into my life I'll keep a look out for that...idk if she ever will tho, it's bn years since we'v spoke.. probably for the better unfortunately😕 in the past it was hard for me to see these patterns but looking back they seem to fit into that puzzle

This sounds just like what I spent 12 years dealing with.

On the money

Wow...spot on can i copy and give to my psychiatrist..who just diagnosed me at the agenif 50as schizophrenic...it is this list and 15+yrs of nievaty and not understanding the double-bind...all that time amd when i got it and ran heasked me " who do you love more than me ?" I said our daughters....well he denied joint custody in divorce dissolutoon agreement and gave me full costody...them with the help of custoimdial interference and a perfect storm of people and institutions liesand deception 599 days ago he took our daughter and won in court for danger somethimg and now still tortures me and them daily...ass hole

Go seek help don't live your life this way. There's a better way to live

SweetSweetWaldo Your Amazing for being so honest about yourself! Praying you will be able to adapt to a better way of living.

How great you are to recognize this character in your personalaty..

At least you are able to self reflect on your personality disorder which means you have hope

I was diagnosed bpd bipolar 1 and skitzoeffective disorder im highly empath and my parents are narcs they suck the soul outta you my ex narc was a sociopath very predictable honestly im grateful everyone is away from me now since my narc exs a stalker gotta stay low forever dont let them think they won either were way much better than they are they are ignorant and need help

Good for you Sis. Sometimes it get s to that point...🤷‍♀️💜🙏

Hum sorry for your suffering.

In a exact same situation but my mother is a narcissist also. How are you these days?

This is all mentally ill ramblings. Yes NPD exist, but more commonly the people writing comments like yours have BPD which causes an unstable view of reality and having split/painted black their ex partners.

M Valentine hope you are healing and doing well. Sadly, they prey on victims at their lowest points. They are evil!

M Valentine Hi, It's gonna be ok We all get fooled sometimes Keep your head up high and heal it will take some time,but you will get there, We can take it for a life lesson God bless you 💜💜💜

I was in a relationship with one for 5 yrs finally he discarded me about 4 months ago and left me confused and broken i never saw it coming .

I know been with a covert narc. Left him after 5,5 years. A nother women behind my back lies. Discusting monster awful ashole 🥵👺👹👽🆘🆘🆘🚩🚩🚩😈😈😈🤮🤮🤮🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍👽👽👽

Diana Eidson how are things going?

I tell my wife how I feel and she passes over it like I never said anything.

Mitch Evans same here & i have cried in my bedroom countless times when i know he heard me in the livingroom & not once did he ask me what's wrong , but trust me your wife remembers every word you said & if you bring up that she acts cold she'll blame it on you saying something like : well i didn't say anything because you'll just be blaming me on things , they'll turn themself into the victim

Diana Edison how are you these days??

Artemis Chemistry Me too

Yes

My narc is the same w/the beach and never a date night.

Have you considered he might just not like the beach?

They don’t want to do any activities with you if you are looking forward to them and show enthusiasm. Even if it’s something they would do with their friends like fishing. It’s the damndest thing.

Janet Whittom yep! I call them peace snatchers and emotional vampires. Downright miserable and subhuman.

Just imagine being getting stuck up in that for YEARS with someone or a parent!!! Omg!

@@007lutherking NPD is very different from CPTSD. But there's some overlapping symptoms, if navigating like Vaknin away from or fleshing out the DSM criteria. CPTSD is actually more clinically similar to BPD.

Interesting comment, I am struggling with a sibling for easily 5 years now, they are incredibly forceful, but I did not know that there was such a thing as reactive abuse, where the control freak person winds you up to such an extent and you react in an incredibly upset way from the traumatizing effect they had on you and bingo the control freak has what they want evidence that you are a bad person who raises there voice.

+kris777 And probably having the 'other people' as the focus of the conversation.

kris777 yes. They are extremely repetitive. And it is sooooo annoying!

they also laugh ONLY at their own jokes

+Garcian Smith I like to clean the floor as the last thing to do, because I usually make a mess while doing anything else (like cleaning some shelves, sink, toilet... ). So that was my first thought, but the thing about cokking/not cooking dinner... that's nice example of passive aggressivity, right. For women, it's more typical to have BPD than NPD, or that's how I understand it. Women tend to go emotionally oversensitive and unstable while men tend to go too cold and psychopatic. I would be interested in know if what you are experiencing possibly meets any of the games mentioned in book called Games People Play. I think it's text can be found online for free...

+dante4d For the most part I'm quite positive she's definitely has NPD. Took me many years to figure that out the hard way but when Mr. Vaknin says machine like daily routines with automatic responses and reactions, I mean wow....it's super predictable. Everything she does is done in a very strict order it's not just a bathtub thing. Ever seen that old Bill Murray movie Groundhog's Day where he keeps reliving the same day over and over and over again until he starts going insane? Same thing with her. I know what she's going to say and when she going to say it. It's gotten so bad I finish her sentences as she's saying them to me. Anything that disrupts this system of hers is looked upon with intense scrutiny, contempt and irritation. More or less just a "shut up and do as I say!" state of mind tends to form the more the routine is interrupted. Not fun at all....

Probably cheating that’s why.

i was contemplating between aspergers and psychopathy and unfortunately its has to be the latter. hes extremely selfish, only interested in getting his needs met, love bombed me in the beginning, pressed for sex quickly followed by devaluation by bailing out on plans & dates. or straight up ghosts & disappears only to come back weeks later to hoover me back. also often triangulates me with his exes. at the end of the day it really doesnt matter what he is - narc, psychopath, sociopath, aspergers, BPD. most important thing is whether you like being treated this way, i dont.

Its a normal practice amongst latin peoples to arrive unannounced and have everyone drop everything to play host, its something I can´t abide but its a form of cultural narcissism I suppose. On the other hand, latino hosts really don´t seem to mind and actually have a good time of it. Weird.

He's visiting too much. You need to sit him down.

I very much am minded to keep to myself more times than not, I feel it is an honour to be welcomed into someone house, but like the other person said is this more a cultural thing and are you living rural or in a city, people have different customs. There are thresholds to a house, most people only are welcome at doorway, so to even get in a hallway is a progress, to sit down at a place is an honour

+kingduckford Are you saying that constant change in behaviour is like mathematical equivalent of derivations of functions? You can have a function that constantly keeps changing, but if you derive that function, you get only that constatnt - the constant rate of change. Even if chaotic, such lifestyle is always "constant chaos", so it can feel secure for them being so predictable. Is that what you're saying? I've seen this in real life in a person that was starting a new life every day. He always insisted that "Everything is under control, but I'll do whatever it takes!" or "I'll do whatever comes my way, you live only once!" What I really saw in his behaviour was that he keeps doing the same mistake over and over again and fails his new life every day. So he actually stays exactly the same. Antithesis for his life would be to find one thing he would keep doing all his life and build on that, because he's like the Bruce Lee quote guy - a man that practices 10 000 kicks 1x - not dangerous, because he never mastered any single one of them...

+dante4d Excellent way of putting it, both in sense of math and personal observation. Change is a constant, not a variable for these individuals. When they "change" its no surprise to anyone, because change is their constant. Even if we cannot predict the exact change, we know a change will happen, which makes it a predictable constant. This person will get another divorce/relationship, will move again, will change career or job, change hobbies, ect. We may not know which person they will be in a relationshi9p with next, but the breakup of the current and new relationship coming are certain. We don't know which career he'll throw himself at next, but we know for certain he won't stay in this one much longer. We don't know which hobby he'll start next, but he won't keep the current one, like every other hobby he's abandoned. The individual never stays with anything, and in truth, doesn't value anything. They want the symbolism of relationship, but no actual human connection, want the prestige of career, but not the mastery of a trade or skill, want to be part of a church or group, but don't know anything about it or even desire to learn. The constant reinvention is rarely daily, like in the case you mention, but it might as well be, because their attachments to things are so hollow and symbolic, they never really were part of anything, even if they stick with a job, person, group, ect., for a month, three months, six moths, ect., they were never really "there", never really "part of", attached, or involved, any more than someone who is taking part for just a day, or passing through. In your case the rate is daily, but for many others it is months or years, but yes, they are all the same pattern, and all to the same effect. Your friend, and many others in the same mentality, are like someone who commits the same sin every day, than claims forgiveness from God, than uses the fact he is clean and pure and forgiven as an excuse to go forth and sin again, because he will be forgiven again. Instead of admitting mistakes, learning from them, and moving on, they find ways to absolve themselves of their mistake, "put it behind them" like it never happened, "move on", and "cleanse" themselves of the guilt of the wrongdoing, only so they can "change" to do the same mistakes again. One should use God's forgiveness to free themselves from sin, not as an excuse to become bonded by sin by furthering their sins. Narcissists and sociopaths use this "change", "reinvention", "I'm a new man every day I wake up", to ignore the past, ignore the lessons, and commit the same mistakes and destroy themselves. I don't have to face my wrongs because "I am a new man, not who I was before, therefore I can safely ignore my past". The equivalent of a desperate gambler begging for someone to pay his gambling debts so he can be free and clear and get out of gambling, but once he gets the money to pay back his debts, he simply creates new gambling debts instead. We did not pay for him to be free, we paid for his old debts so he could get new ones, we freed him from slavery so he could sell himself back into bondage. The narcissist frees himself from past mistakes through change and abandonment, only so he can make those same mistakes again as a "new man", he frees himself so he can re-enslave himself. He will free himself of the last relationship he ruined so he can start new to ruin another, ect. "Change" is a constant because it allows the narcissist to avoid both responsibility for past problems and also the lessons. Your Bruce Lee quote is right on the money. A man is better off becoming a master of one thing, rather than a constant amateur of everything. This is true, the narcissist never really grows up, never gains anything, never sees any self improvement ever. "A rolling stone gathers no moss". The narcissist would rather defend his ego from mistakes than learn from them and become better, so they rarely learn anything, and almost never improve or grow, because the idea of room for improvement would insult the narcissist by implying he's not perfect! The narcissist would rather move onto the next kick rather than admit imperfection of the last one and the need to improve. They both want the freedom to make the same mistakes they enjoy over and over again, and also don't want to acknowledge imperfection and wrongdoing. Constant change is a way of accomplishing both, as well as giving the narcissist excitement. Its no wonder it is the biggest constant they have.

Yep!

kingduckford I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST READ. You must've known my husband for many years! SPOT ON!!!

kingduckford Wow, that was mind-blowing how you just broke that down. Please write a book or make videos. I'll subscribe.

and who are you to know what am I made of or how I am to make such a presumption? what is your knowledge and depth for me to take what you said as something worth to hear and consider? this one angle belief of law of attraction is not even a rule of thumb on everyone that you attract what you are. open your mind to more than its only black and white out there. sometimes opposite attracts to learn self love, boundaries and better judgment when needed to filter it vampires. when you take an initiative to reply to someone you do not know, filter your words, speak good or do not speak at all. if you have any knowledge or awareness, learn how to communicate it well first before you go commenting on to strangers and looking feeble.

I think that was the thing for me that i realised smthn was wrong....everything would be gd & i aould STILL have a bad feeling..i said a prayer ove rwht i was feeling & 2 days later i was discarded..thank you Jesus!🙌

Its called mirroring. They are like chameleons, they adapt to any situation, circumstance or people just for the aim of receiving narcissist supply. Narcissist do not have their own idenity so they have to mimic others and feed off of other people's energy.

+Shannon G yes

Yeah, they don't have any true identity. They buy the exact SAME cellphone someone they idealize or fear uses, even if it's not popular anymore, like a Blackberry. They buy the exact same car, same color, trim and equipment.

Lisa Mizelle From what I've acquired, ACCEPTANCE and belonging is crucial for the narc.

Experiencing this currently and it is gd annoying but ultimately makes them look sad. It's so in my face and they flaunt it like it's their original idea to buy this or that or get this color. Only days or a week after seeing me with the object, style, music, even meals I make.

Mitch Evans work on fulfilling the love for yourself and your sanity. It will only get worse.

@@totf6359 i think thays the BEST thung u can do for yourself cause they will drain u & u will ve left eith NOTHING FROM THEM..so Keep your cups full on your own!!! ❤

ruth wales Here is the transcript of this video: samvak.tripod.com/journal47.html

Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you, all the best on your path too.

Jaja Sang mine has that morning hour long bathroom ritual too.

Mine used to sit on his throne in the bathroom for 45 mins. Every morning and night.

Ina Wood no doubt with the phone in his hands texting his several friends

Ioanna Creatureofhabit. Yes exactly, and texting his secret girlfriend.

Sin D 😂😂😂probably !

Narcissism is contagious www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq42.html

Thank you so much!! Glad to know I'm not "crazy and possessed" as I have been called before. I think you may have saved my life by watching your videos. Thank you again.

Angela Arp that's what they do : they'll call u possessed because he's projecting his shit onto u ....I had changed a lot due to my toxic relationship and often would doubt my own sanity ......I realise your comment was written a long time ago hey - hope your well and truely free from the never ending bs ;)

TheFreakonthenet Narcissists re contumacious and rebellious samvak.tripod.com/journal28.html Read more about counterdependents samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Yes from personal experience I think that's possible they love to rebel it makes them feel like they are special covers up their emptiness and lack of everything

Narcissism and Religion vaksam.tripod.com/journal45.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq47.html The Cult of the Narcissist vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html

You may also find these of help - please click on the links (they apply to all types of relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic abusers of both genders): vaksam.tripod.com/5.html vaksam.tripod.com/abuse3.html vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html vaksam.tripod.com/abuse.html vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq1.html How Victims are Pathologized and re-abused by the System health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5068

💯 + all the videos Sam has done on narcissism and pedophilia

+Euricious Narcissists as junkies www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal66.html and samvak.tripod.com/adrenalinejunkie.html