I hear you, I feel this deeply. Holding you in my heart ❤️ hugs 🤗

I know that feel

@@mariamadsen7071 Thank you, sending hugs in return xxx

I could go to a parent with a stress level of 3 out of 10 and walk away with a level of 8

@@Pukeyray Yes!!!! Or maybe 11.…... 😱😱😱🤬

Stress can deplete Vitamin B levels (like b12) which can cause extreme fatigue. Worth getting tested and can be easily treated with b12 injections. [edit to add: I am not suggesting b12 is the fix-all, but it can help with energy to cope with other aspects of life that are causing stress]

Most of the people for sure. Endless issues you have to deal with, and no results, improvements or changes whatsoever. It often leads to burnout and clinical depression. An only way to stop it is actually stop it, take to time for a beak and live your own life, whatever it takes.

Yes, anxiety as well, very triggering even weeks or months before having to see them

@@christineb8148My doctor won’t give me B12 injections, I have asked him and he said he wants to see proof that it works.🤨 I have heard this works well for fatigue. Can you recommend where one can get B12 injections?

Here I am! I get ill (even with fever) weeks before they visit 😅

I used to do the same thing! I still find it very soothing

Nature is very calming and grounding. It feels like an escape from the everyday stress. It's the only place not disrupted by superficial thing's, electronics, negativity, the hustle and bustle of life. It's the one place you can feel free 😌

Me too! But I would drink beer - it was like I was trying everything I could to self soothe but only in a 1/2 healthy way

@@SBecktacular Believe me when I say I've done a lot of unhealthy coping in my days as well. I just wanted to throw out one of the healthy ones for anyone who might find it useful. Wishing you all the best in your recovery.

I did that also have vivid memories of those long hours in the shade and protection of the forest.

Also, they want a child to be controlled and available 24/7 for their needs.

You’re very welcome, I’m glad my work is helping you. Thanks for watching

It’s amazing how the right people/KZfaqrs/info can have that effect.

Much more!

Isn't it the weirdest thing that we have tried therapist after therapist only to solve nothing. But someone addresses the multiple causes/remedies and we listen and finally begin to understand and move toward some degree of healing or at least coping better.

@@johnboydmills I thought my therapist was bored with me, too. I began to wonder if that reaction was just another sign of the damage I experienced in childhood. Maybe we assume we are not worth someone's interest. My therapist also would yawn and that really did me in. Now I know that isn't fair because there can be many reasons for yawning, but it still made me want to stop going.

I went through something similar. For me, after years of struggle with feeling defective through the eyes of a parent, that affected me in more ways than one, I finally understood that they were just an asshole. All of a sudden I no longer was affected by their nasty jabs at me. This got them angry, even physically violent at one point. But there was no goong back for me: I made the choice to choose my self over a relationship with them- something they forced me to make and that nobody should ever force a "loved one" to make. On top of it being a sham as well, in that no relationship of any value was ever on offer- just the false promise of one, made by my 'father' throwing in being nice every now and again, so as to confuse me and keep me hanging believing it was actually possible to get his love somehow. What an asshole!!!!

Guess what Stacy: she couldn't really love herself either. You made the right choice. Blessings to you

you made me lol @@lambchop6278

I can relate to your story. I recently went no contact with my mother (again) and I can honestly say that I'm much happier not dealing with her criticism and negativity.

My exact thought as well. My aging and ailing Narc Mom is the sad example...if she had truly loved herself, she would have found ways to enjoy her golden years ​@@daleg4299

I understand. I did not go back for my father's funeral, because my narcissistic mother is freaking scary. It was a good decision. She has not improved. She will only deteriorate further in her abusive behavior, because her main supply is GONE. Matthew 19: 29-30 Even Jesus said, "Let the dead bury the dead." Meaning the soulless...... are the only ones concerned with funerals -- because it deals with inheritance -- materialism -- worldly objects. Choosing to walk away from the family dysfunction is a blessing for future generations.

Yep. When I'd tell my parents i was being beaten up, they said I was tattling. When I complained how my sibling was stealing my things, they said to steal his things. And when they would verbally abuse me and i'd say things back, they'd say I was causing trouble.

My ex would purposely throw away my 2 toddler's binkies. He would tell me I was messing up their teeth and enabling them. They were 2 and 4 year's old. They were subjected daily to ridicule and told they were "too big to be acting like babies". I kept buying more binkies and everything my ex would throw out the binky I would buy another. It was his toxic way of trying to control the narrative..

I sucked my thumb, only at night as a way to help me fall asleep, until I was 8. My mother forced me to quit by putting a sock over my hand and pinning it to the long sleeve of my winter nightgown. I started chewing pens and pen caps after that. Chewed pens until I started smoking in high school.

@@deadparrot5953 I sucked my thumb until about 12 and realized I needed to stop. I use to wet my bed too.

@@deadparrot5953 😢

@@DailyDose926 I wish I could have given the first person I married some kind of a test to see if they were suitable as a husband.

Thank you so much for time stamping and giving a little description ❤

Thanks

Thank you!

Thank you so much, hearing it is good but reading it is like it is stamped into my brain and I can remember it easier.😀

❤ thanks❤

I respected my mother out of fear. She was abusive and I felt weak and unable to stand up to her. She was also freakishly strong, a rugged Tom boy/farmer type. She was also a skilled wrestler. I literally feared for my life every time she abused me. I was afraid to speak up to adults about her because I worried they wouldn't believe me, worried they'd tell her what I said and then I'd be forced to face the consequences. Some of us know our mother's didn't deserve respect but we gave it in order to survive another day.

Yep

​@@DailyDose926yep

Millions of people keep sucking cigarettes all life long for the same reason. At least you did not poison yourself.

​@@aammssaammdang

I love my carbs!!

Yes, they are my only "cure" now and only addiction left in life.

Yes! I have just literally created a healthy food plan, mindful of carbs as I was listening to this. I am aware of this child/teenager screaming out inside of me in relation to abuse/neglect and absorbing parents that didn't know how to love themselves and also probably on the autistic spectrum, trying to raise two autistic children, one , very obvious, the other (myself) not so obvious at first. It was a nightmare. So grateful for content like this. I am almost 50.

@@SunlightSeaBlueSky I gained so much weight and almost developped bulimia. I almost began smoking, drinking and self-harming.

​@LiveFreeAndFearless I feel you. I've always had issues with food. I was a chubby kid because I learned early on how to use food to self soothe. Of course, I got picked on because of my weight... at home and at school, which only made me want to eat more. My mother liked to tell me when and how much to eat. She liked to tell me: "You've had enough." When I was 13, I put myself on a diet, lost a lot of weight and became anorexic. My mother took me to see my pediatrician after seeing me in a bikini at my lowest weight. The doctor told me to gain weight or he'd put me in a hospital and they'd feed me through a tube in my arm. I was unaffected by this threat, but I was afraid of what my dad would do if I didn't comply... so I did as I was told, like the "good girl" and gained some weight. There was no talk therapy, no support... Just: EAT Simple, right? I yo yo dieted throughout my twenties and thirties... and for most of my forties. Now, in my late 50's post menopause, and I'm fat. I really don't care. I love my food. It's always been there for me and it changes how I feel. I sound like an addict... because I am, in a way.

You are not the only one, better now than never. 🧡

If you're an adult you don't need to keep subjecting yourself to anyone, even a parent. If you're a minor that's different but as adults we have the power to remove anyone we choose from our life. Family isn't defined by blood. It's defined by love, loyalty and mutual respect. A Holiday isn't a good enough reason to expose ourselves to a toxic person. If we chose to do this then we need to question our own toxic patterns in our behavior that is causing us to keep ourselves stuck in a toxic cycle.

Thank you @@DailyDose926

Ya I know what you mean. When* Someone is nice to me, I assume the worst

That sounds relaxing. I couldn't go very far😂😂😂😂 I'm impressed

Same here. Am 50 next year and glad I found this knowledge now. I am also late diagnosed autistic. I wish you well in life. Greetings from UK. :)

We all have narcissistic traits. The thing is that we were raised in ways that are known for creating narcissism and so we are right to consider just how narcissistic we may be. I wonder if you realize that there is a big difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and being narcissistic? If not, it may help you to answer your concerns about your behavior.

You're welcome 😊

Nobody should be pressured to forgive. It is not warranted, nor is it necessary for healing.

@@Joelswinger34 Forgiveness is a crucial step for ourselves, not for others. Forgiveness means giving up the desire to get revanche and pay back. This desire destroys us and our life. It's much more useful to use this energy and time to build our own happy life. If you learn to forgive, you can also forgive yourself and give yourself much more chances. Nobody forces you to forget though for your own safety.

@@FreedomAboveAll4 Path to forgiveness of yourself lies via forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is easy: you just need to make a a decision to waste no time and energy on hate and paying back, and use them for taking care of your primary needs and your own well-being.

@@FreedomAboveAll4 But you've made it here. You've survived, which means your choices were right. Otherwise you wouldn't survive. Can you keep in mind that whenever you do something, you pick the best choice you have at that moment? The older you get, the more experience you gain, the better choice you make. Please always help yourself by giving yourself another chance and never punish yourself. Act like a very generous granny who would always support you.

@@aammssaamm I hope you realize not wanting revenge is distinct from forgiveness. Same with hate. My sister was abusive and cruel. She stole my inheritance and she has not apologized nor does she believe she did anything wrong. Do I wish vengeance on her? NO! I feel very sad about what she did and the choice she made but I do not forgive her because she is not sorry. I do not wish ill on her. But we can no longer have a relationship under the current situation. Forgiveness restores a relationship as though the sin had not been committed (God's forgiveness restores our relationship to him) but it is contingent of repentance. When there is no repentance the relationship is broken. It's not the unforgiveness that broke it, it is the lack of repentance. You don't need to hate them or want vengeance on them. Give it to God to deal with.

Glad it was helpful!

Glad it was helpful! thanks for watching

My experience with art involved my mother sabotaging my free scholarship to an art school when I was a senior in highschool. I had told her weeks in advance about having to meet with the school to discuss my scholarship and fill out the student enrollment paperwork to RISD(Rhode Island School Of Design). On the day of my meeting my mother gave me an attitude after I reminded her and asked her if she could still drive me to the school. She told me she wasn't going to bring me to my meeting. I went and asked my grandmother for a ride and she told me no and suggested I take the city bus. I had never ridden on a bus, so I didn't know what to do.. I asked my mother for cab money and she told me no.. She pointed out how I had a job and how I should manage my money better.. It's true,, I did have a job but I had just gotten through paying my mother $1,000 for her old car, payed for my prom dress, shoes, salon, pics, limo, plus paid for my bridesaid dress, shoes, additional salon appointment, wedding gift, etc.. I was just a kid but I was treated like a hated roomate and an inconvenience.. I was flat broke, couldn't even afford a bus ticket.. I looked up the address to the school on my mom's computer and I started walking. The school was 3 hours away walking and it involved me having to walk on the highway at some points. I walked for almost 2 hours and then I realized I had forgotten my personal identification information. I started to cry out of frustration.. I sat down on the side of the highway. A state trooper pulled up and asked if I was ok. I explained my circumstances.He offered to give me a ride to the school but he wanted to call my mother first to make sure she knew where I was. I told me to forget about the school and asked if he could just bring me back home? The state trooper called my mom but no one answered the phone. He gave me a water bottle, tissues and a ride back home. When he pulled up to the house my mother was outside gardening. The cop spoke to her about how I had been found on the side of the highway. My mother acted shocked, like she didn't know I had even left.. She apologized to the cop and thanked him for bringing me home. Before the cop left he asked me to go over to his cruiser for a minute. He gave me his personal business card and told me if I ever needed help to contact the number on the card. He asked if I was ok before he left. My mom was glaring over at me from behind the cop. I told the cop I was ok. When he left she told me to get my a** in the house and told me I was grounded for a month for embaressing her.. When I went in the house I hurried to call the school and I asked if it was possible to reschedule my meeting. They told me no, said it was a now or never deal.. I apologized for any inconvenience then went upstairs to my room and cried myself to sleep.. After my mother sabotaged my art scholarship I hated anything to do with art. I even somehow lost my ability to be artistic. It's like my brain blocked out the entire part of the memory, which included my artistic abilities. 20 year's have gone by. It's only recently that I decided to give art another chance. I've been sculpting. At first I struggled with my art. I felt like a toddler trying to create art. But it feels like a muscle that needs to be exercised. The more I express myself with my sculpting the better I'm becoming. I'm sorry for the long rant. I just wanted to share my experiences with my lack of interest in art. I hope someday you return back to your art. I hope you're able to find joy in it and make it about expressing yourself vs pleasing other's. Art is peaceful, it's also an extension of ourselves. I hope when the time is right you find your way back to art 💝

​@@DailyDose926 well, shit. I want to say your family let you down, but it would be an insult to you to use the term "family" to describe who these people are to you. Thank goodness for that police officer...he gave you solid evidence that there is good in the world and that your personhood isn't "the problem." For me that person was the therapist I met in my early twenties. Having someone validate the reality of your dysfunctional family is the key that opens the door to a better life.

I would agree with you. However, I do see co-regulation and self-soothing as developing at the same time. Thank you for watching.

Co-regulation is the way children learn to soothe themselves.

​@@shipratrika2586bingo

I had a small flannel pillow that I had used since I was a baby. As I grew older I put it on top of a regular pillow. I liked the warmth and texture of it because I got chronic ear infections. One day I came home from school and found out my mother had thrown out the pillow. Actually dismantled it before discarding so not like I could just pull it out of the trash. I learned then that nothing was really 'mine'.

You are so welcome! Welcome to the community

Glad you enjoyed it

You're so welcome!❤️

Welcome!

@@jerrywise ☺

Sounds like you need to wear sandals & get a lot of sunlight in the early morning. I love radical acceptance bc it allows others to be stupid without me needing to get involved. Being sick is awful. Have you made yourself 🍲?

🎸♾️

Maybe it's time for a puppy

I got a puppy a year and half ago and it has been a blessing.

Someone helps you, you'll help another person, that person will help someone else. This is how help works. By accepting a help you help that person to "pay" for the help he/she received from someone else. Besides, you can always mention that you have a difficulty with accepting help and ask if you would need to do anything in return. This way it'll be clear for both sides. Never hesitate to ask and clarify.