The videos I make are topics suggested by you the viewer. Feel free to suggest any mental health or psychology subjects you'd like me to cover in future videos. Just a reminder though, these videos are not a substitute for support from a mental health professional.

For the son to get to spend time with his father, he must take an interest in the things the father is interested in. But the father rarely shows interest in the things the son is interested in.

You described my dad perfectly. Never really taught me anything. Just wanted to show himself superior. So true. Thank you, Dr.

I'm 31 but my relationship with him has always been distant, he was never really emotionally available...we never had a time where I felt safe to open up because he was always dismissive and and just focused on what I should be doing in his eyes...no matter what I do, it is never enough, there will be another crack for him to criticize.

At the age of 50 I have removed my Narcissistic father from my life, better late than never.

I grew up under a father just like that.....he passed 11 years ago and I am still working to recover from that relationship. He was a good provider, but, he lacked any regard for my emotional needs. It was always about him.....very tough road to go down.....

Nailed it! Fortunately my son turned out to be the exact opposite of his narc father. Kind, wise, caring towards others.

You described my father spot on. If it wasn’t for martial arts and mentors from working as a carpenter I would have been lost long ago.

A dismissive, emotionally distant and unavailable Father is devastating for any child. My son developed this feeling of unworthiness and depression years ago. Thank God things are getting better now as I made his father aware of the consequences of his actions and behaviour.

this is what I grew up with and now I haven't spoken to my dad in 20 years and good riddance, this video made me cry it's so accurate

"The father may turn up at the child's house someday unannounced to do some work he feels needs to be done." This is exactly what my father did!

My father said to me as a 40 year old man, “I need to destroy your self esteem”. I don’t even get upset any more. I just laugh.

I'll consider myself the lost child of a narcissist dad... So much of what you say hits home... I'm a burden, I'm to be seen and not heard, I am his servant... He worked for himself as a translator and I would stop by his office in our home to say hi, and he would want to show me a project he's working on with his computer... But it was weird because it wasn't the sort of dad wanting to bond type thing, I would be trapped for an hour while he showed me this and then that, and then how he made a change to his dBase program... And I was afraid to say.." thanks dad, but I'm working on stuff too...gotta go". He loved an audience, especially when it was about how smart he is... And then when I became an electrical engineer, I became savvy with mathematics... And he brought up Fourier transform from his days of teaching Medical imaging repair and maintenance... Because it sounds smart... I offered to show him how to calculate a Fourier transform. I've never seen him look so uncomfortable.

The narcissistic father will give a task that is plain out dangerous for its own child. And the narcissistic father can show more affection to his dog than to his child.

This man just described my relationship with my father. Glad I'm not alone in this.

That was really helpful thank you. I got kicked out / found my freedom at 18 and I'm 45 this year. Still on the healing journey though, some days are better than others.

My therapist recommended I watch this video. You described my father so perfectly in so many ways. Now I can understand that he isn't infallible, and begin to make sense of some of his bizarre behavior. I thought the problem was that I wasn't good enough. I can't believe it took me 34 years to realize this. Thank you Dr. Magee!

I recognise a lot of what you describe, especially the lectures rather than converstions

my narc father is proud for succeeding in doing illegal things. and insult my intelligence when I wanted to do the normal thing people do. I grew up not knowing which is right or wrong. There is so much, so much, triangulation that i feel so isolated, not knowing what is true or not.

I’m the youngest daughter of a man who wanted a son and every word you spoke is exactly how he treated me, right down to being told, “don’t ever get married.“ I never did get married because I was too afraid I would pick someone like him and be trapped just like my mother.

I haven't logged into KZfaq in over 2 years. But this video spoke to me on such a deep level I felt compelled to comment. Darren, what you described in this video has answered questions I never could find answers to. My father abused me as a child in this very way. I'm 38 and in my time alive have worked more years than my 80 year old dad did in all of his life. As a child, our house was a dictatorship. Whilst he never hit my mum (because she herself apparently has some deep-seated co-dependent issues), I was the target - from as far back as I remember - of his dissatisfaction with everything. Dad would constantly call me 'little fairy' because I had a soft toy Manx cat my gran had bought me as a baby. (She died before I knew her.) He would constantly say "You have privileges, not rights." - This included the privilege to use a certain amount of toilet roll. He used Tippex to mark the exact volume I was allowed to have on my television, and even though I adhered to it (I wouldn't have dared to not - the threat of violence was ever-present), he then glued the volume at that level. On violence, he would say things like "I can make sure there are no marks, and even if the teachers find out it's you that would end up in a home with other naughty children - and they would hurt you too!" He threatened me with a little lock knife he carried in his pocket, and even something has mundane as crossing from the living room to the kitchen, I was only allowed to open the door enough to squeeze through the gap. Any wider and I was 'wasting HIS heating'. Even today in his old age, he's still that same man. I see hatred in his eyes. It's messed my life up beyond measure. I haven't been able to forge strong relationships with anyone, not friends nor the opposite sex. There is so much more I could write but that's not for here. But he was a monster, and I never truly understood where my issues came from until I started seeking answers and found this video. Thank you for giving me some perspective on where I must now go to do the work to repair this.

Nailed it. I've spent 63 years of my life unraveling the layers of trauma. My dad was a good provider. And taught me a lot that has helped me to be successful today. But I can see how what happened to me has made my life more difficult than it needed to be. I can see how it has affected my choices and people to have relationships with. Thank you for sharing

I'm listening to this as a younger sister to a brother who was mercilessly treated by our father. I copped the same but this video is for him. There is only one component missing and that is how often these fathers are not only verbally/emotionally abusive, but physically as well. I saw my dear brother being terrorized by dad and beaten badly over any trivial thing. My brother J was a good person yet nothing he did was right in dad's eyes. Dad wouldn't speak, he'd shout! J had a bad nervous breakdown when only 3 (I wasn't around till another 3 years later.) He started screaming with his hands clamped over his ears saying "Why are the birds so loud?! " and "Why is the clock ticking so loudly?!" He just went hysterical..he didn't get treated of course. Dad probably knocked it out of him like he did me when I had a breakdown age 9. (I got a beating every day and he'd heap words on me like I was no good and a bitch etc etc.) All done in loud screaming tones. I was beaten if I looked afraid and if not, beaten to put me in fear. My dear brother today is retired now. He became a perfectionist workaholic. He was good looking and likable and had no shortage of friends. I think he just internalized everything and - became - narcissistic! I still remember the kind words he showered on me one day when I was little telling me I was "a dear little girl and the sweetest in the world!" He was so kind and caring - now its criticism etc. But I think he partly realizes he has a problem. He is a multimillionaire and ceo of a large export company. Has a mansion and his own golf course salt water pool sauna etc etc overlooking a bay. But he loves nothing more than having people stay and looking after them. He always has friends or friends of friends staying. How he turned out as well as he did is a miracle of God I believe. One of the worse pains of my life was to see him being beaten. It might he helpful to do a video to help people who suffered physical abuse from violent narcissists, to recover, if that's possible.

Even after getting away from an abusive narcissistic person, one has to spend quite some time retraining their brain. Often times the narcs don't even understand the damage they have dealt it's upsetting.

My father was jealous and envious of me since I was little. His jealousy referred above all to my mother's love for me, given that he had had a mother who only exploited him and put him in competition with his other siblings. Every opportunity was a good one to speak badly about me to my mother, behind my back obviously. What I blame my mother is that she didn't realize anything until I told her during an argument. She was shocked, she didn't speak for days. My father always put a spoke in my wheels, only criticism never encouragement, and how could he since he saw me as his rival? when he died I didn't feel anything, I only blame myself for having understood it only after he died, if I had understood it before I would have behaved accordingly.

It is uncanny how much of this is accurate of my father... This has left me blaming myself and being blamed for years for a poor relationship to the point I can have nothing to do with him. He is just about to turn 95 and after a life of abusing his nuclear family he is now the consummate and ardent victim. In the process turning extended family against me, meaning once again just ignoring that group. I leave in fear of being like him.

My son's father demands respect but shows none back. These men know very little about how to parent... Always bring down my son in front of others and treats him like s***.

I feel so sad that my son’s covert narc dad hurt him so terribly. I hope my son now 25 will have peace. His father just passed away.

This described my ex husband that took my children, wouldn't give them back then lied to the courts about me. They've lived with him 3 years now and my son is having to deal with exactly this it's awful to watch him change so much and he's now displaying narcissistic traits himself. He thinks everything I say is wrong or stupid . Dad has completely twisted his little mind in every way it's awful to witness.

Every single word spoken in this video exactly matches my dad. I realised it before but couldn't articulate it well enough for myself, my mom, and my brothers. Thank you, Darren.

My father to a T! As a young boy I idolised him and was painfully proud and boastful of his being a pilot. l now realise this was sad compensation for a bastard who abandoned our family - wife and four children. Had karma not caught up with him I'm certain I would have eventually knocked him out cold. He was a pathetic grandiose narcissist and alcoholic who contributed only DNA to his offspring. I felt I never measured up, but I have far surpassed his modest achievements and vowed never to subject my son to the same torture I endured. Despite a rocky start I have had a successful and fulfilling life. Thanks for the video Darren

Im very grateful to watch this video at young age (18) ,I just finished school. Everything in this video is so relatable. Soon im going to be indepent.

Thanks so much for this video. This is literally 90% of the relationship I have had with my father. Even as an adult, when I try to have a mature conversation with him, he acts like he’s the victim and gets defensive if I bring up anything from the past.

This is so painful to watch because somebody i love doesn't see how much his father has effected him...its destroying his individually and creativity..

Thank you Darren. This video explains my so called father to the “T” it’s actually scary how accurate you are. I just wanted to say thank you because it really helped me understand what he has and what he is and what I’ve been going through my entire life and also my family. I don’t think he will ever get help, but this really helped me a lot. 🙏🏻✌🏻❤️🙂

This was my life. I used to hide under the bed as wee boy and spent my life trying to be good enough over compensating by working too hard to feel proud of myself and make him proud of me. The solution I found at 39 years of age was disengagement. I have led a very different life since and I am 67 now.

Bingo! I have been trying to figure this all out, but my father said exactly what you stated. Children are to be seen and not heard, and when I cried because my dog got hit by a car, he said "Your little brother is more of a man than you'll ever be!" From that day on I hated him and myself, and it set me on a very destructive course for a long time.

My narcissistic father has spent most of my adult life treating me like a boundary violator for wanting to criticise him. Have you come across this behaviour of a narcissist, the ultimate boundary violator, projecting this behaviour onto their victim? Would be glad to see a video on this topic.

Excellent content and presentation, really true, loved the example of the 6 year old party. These fathers are embarrassing and really hold their children back sadly from becoming their own best selves. The children are never seen as individuals with their own unique personhood, just an extension of the narcissist father. It literally carries on in to adulthood, unless the child breaks away.

This is exactly my father. It's like you have met him. Thank you for this video.

That's my daddy...i realised who he is just now (I'm 38). My father when asked to help usually mocks me and tries to show how stupid I am. It took me years to understand that he doesn't know the answer himself. He never helped me with anything at school but makes stories how thanks to his effort and support I graduated with MA. He's an alcoholic but doesn't drink for 3 years now. At certain point I realised I was being sexually attracted to men that resembles him (physically and behaviour-wise, also alcoholics). Last year I also noticed that I'm copying my father - buying the same cars he had, same style of clothing. It feels like merging with him. I'm the older son. I have a 1 year younger brother. I was a very sensitive kid. Always under protection of my mother. My little brother had similar interests and even physical look like my dad. So he became "the chosen one". I was confused because on one hand my dad was saying: you're my firstborn son (kind of asking me to assume some role) but then he just ignored me for all the time. Last month I went to visit my parents. I live in another country. I haven't seen them for a year. I gave my dad a watch he wanted as a gift. He took it and said: ok, I'm gonna watch some tv, there's some sport today. So he thought it was perfectly okay after 5 minutes of seeing me just to go away and watch TV. My mum reacted stopping him. But me, at this very moment it struck me like a lightning: my father has a huge problem with himself.

Your description is the closest I have found to my relationship with my own father. He and my mother divorced when I was 12. My mother is the one who wanted out of the marriage. My father was indifferent to me and I cannot describe what that did to me especially since I wanted to live with him. He wouldn't take me so I had stay with my mother and her new husband. My step father was jealous of and resented me. Of course dad was jealous of me too. How sick is that? My own father. I will say there will be no peace from this until God calls me home. I try to ignore things that cause me pain and grief. Of course that is about as helpful as getting drunk alone. Interesting video thank you for making it!

I have three children (23 year old son, 20 year old daughter, 17 year old son). My husband works from home and I go to work everyday. So my husband spends more time with the children. My husband has always been horrible to the older son. On the contrary, he is always nice fatherly with the other two children. Sometimes when I come back from work, I find my husband my daughter and my younger son either sitting together or sharing time together or chatting or teasing each other or sharing pizza or cooking together or watching a comedy or playing a video game and so on. I ask them where the older son is, everybody shrug their shoulder as if he should not even be in this house. When the older son hears me being at home, he comes downstairs and we have a small chat about each other's day etc. I have chat with my daughter and son too but it feels like the older son is only my son, it feels like my older son is not their brother or his son. It is hearth breaking. As my husband is at home all the time, this situation is very intense at home. I could not understand why the situation in our home was like this. I wanted to divorce him but then you had two other children who would be deprived of their father. However, seeing videos like this, I have realised my husband is a narcist and my daughter has developed narcissist traits. If I knew about narcissism 20 years ago, I would definitely divorce my husband, I would definitely live separately from him, most importantly would keep his involvement in the children's life to a minimum because he has effected all of my children's life. My older child who is 23 finished the university has a job and a girlfriend but still has confident issues which is very upsetting. My daughter who is 20 years old at university studying law but complains about everything, teachers are stupid, friends are useless, I am a terrible mother, she insults me or never values my opinion, for example, she tells me I am a foreigner what would I know (I am Kurdish and my husband is English by the way) why do I not get back on my boat go home (which makes my husband giggle), she keeps telling me she is taller and more beautiful than me (to which I do not say much and just laugh it off thinking she is young and has little life experience and hope as she gets older she will be more sensible) she is desperate for attention, instead of reading her law books she reads books about how to manipulate and tells me how she tried on people and it worked. My younger son who is 17 years old is acting like he does not have to do anything because his father will leave him properties.

You described my dad and my childhood exactly. I had to stop reading the comments, I couldn't handle the pain. I wish I found this 30 years ago. It's taken me decades to figure out what was going on, and why i hate my dad. And why I still self sabotage. Such is the life of the scapegoat...

I remember I was 19 and I just got into stock trading and I turned $300 into $10,000 and I was so proud and I showed it off to him just for him to criticize me and tell me I’m going to lose it all, just makes me never be proud about any of my achievements

Almost word for word of what I’ve been going through my whole life ….. very unfortunate that this is the case but good thing I’m smart enough and strong enough to stand strong on my own & become the man that I am and want to be 💪🏽

What an amazing description of my father, 90%+ match! Thank you so much for such a gratifying conformation my childhood experience! Very helpful insights!

Thank you, you explained it so well and demonstrated your proficiency in this field very well. Can't believe I gave my father this many chances, he blew it every time. 100% narcissist!

Please could you do a video outlining the narcissistic father and daughter relationship?

Thank you for your time and effort sharing your insight on these subjects

I am 16 and i know as soon as I turn 22 or 23 ,I am gonna move out to a better place and cut all ties with my father, he's extremely narcissistic and believes he's the only one who has a good opinion, mine and anyone else's opinion in the family are treated like trash, my grandmother is also like that, but thank God I got a good mother ❤️ blessing in disguise.

This is so spot on. Especially the disrespect of the mother and weaponizing the son to punish her. How do you save children like that? Seriously

Doesn't teach, instruct, or encourage. Exactly right. He accomplished his mission with all of his children except me. Regardless what he said, I stayed focused. I am reaping the benefits now😊

My narc father's mask fell once my kids were born. He demanded that I only spend holidays with my "family", my kids have to go to his school of choice, my kids have to take certain middle names. "Blood is thicker than water", "you can choose your friends but not your family." He talks at me, lectures me, monologues ad nauseum. He knows more than me, is upset that I do not go to him for advice anymore. I am 45 years old. Lastly he picked one of my kids as his favourite, as his weapon to get me to feel shame for choosing a different school to his choice. He demanded I reconcile with my narc "Golden Child" brother or I would be financially punished.

The song and lyrics to "Cats in a cradle" is a song my husband dedicated to our son... I've always had to be both parents to my son even though my sons "sperm donor deadbeat" has always been under the same roof physically... My son comes to me for everything because me and my Family are the support to my sons drive in life... we have financially secured his future, invested in his mind body and soul with support and love. .. my family is blessed to see what a young well rounded 20 year old man my son has become... narc dad's are dangerous! So I had to step things up and my family saw the signs and stepped in... we all know it stemmed from a narcissistic mother to my husband... and we had to break the cycle... if children are involved we have to step up and redirect to break this cycle!... peace and love

I had to reach out to my grandma to start a relationship with my father at the age of 26. We've gone years not keeping in touch. The weird part is he feels that he contributed to my life experiences.

My dad had a barn, not just a barn, but a barn where he parked his truck. Yet we lived in the city. He drove his gravel train doing his work, yet I'd be damned to find myself wondering about all the tools and parts kept in the barn. If he'd want me to help him, it was something where he was beating on tires to repair his truck. The sound was so deafening, that I'd just rather go away than to be there. Which I did. Then he would wonder why I didn't want to help him, but everything my sister did to help my dad was just fine. Almost everything I did to help, was I wasn't doing it right. I was almost grateful not to be out there with him, and I didn't understand why my younger sister helped him so better than me.

My biological father is just like this. It took me long time to realize. I was conditioned since birth by religion that we must blindly and completely surrender to Parents and this is what the guilt that ate me away and never allowed me to separate. I believed if I’m bad to parents god would punish me and my life would be cursed. But I did my research and realized that this wasn’t the truth yet alone rational. My mother brother and sisters are all blinded and sunk into his trap. I hope I hope can finally heal one day. Thanks for the video

I have been looking at this stuff for over a year now...this is the best description I have found. Very detailed - thank you!

Thanks for yo ur insight . I have recommended your channel to people that I know

You described my ex using my son to punish me. And the alineación is so sad . Breaks my heart to see my son growing up in this toxic environment. His dad is a judge and lie to win custody

Excellent description. I do finally understand some of the patterns in my family and how and why they are related. It really helps to understand the overall construct why certain thing went a certain way

Excellent video. It took me 30+ years to realize my father had a toxic personality. I excused it with dads just being dads but even my friend’s dads were far more fatherly looking back. I gradually learned to be avoidant with my dad because I would get shut down for opening up. I had a childhood of shaming, comparison, being pushed away, score keeping, being told to be someone I wasn’t, getting yelled at and the occasional physical abuse. He always made excuses about what he went through growing up or how his dad raised him so poorly because his dad went through a war. In recent years he’s definitely been more vulnerable and outwardly insecure but he’s becoming an old man whose increasingly isolated and whose friends are dying. I would be lying if some of his traits didn’t rub off on me because I had him as my primary male role model and he had a veneer of respectability growing up. Thankfully the world is generally moving in a better direction and even I’m being called on and fixing some of the poor behaviors I picked up.

My husband was raised by a verbally & physically abusive narcissistic (german) mother and a busy ( well to do) workaholic father. Although he was able to have a decent relationship with his father in the past, it has steadily become more & more strained, until it became basically non existent. His father is retired now, & home with that bitter woman 24/7. I feel sorry for him. My husband reaches out to call him occasionally, but he shows little, if any interest in talking to my husband. And his mother never speaks to him )& hasn'tfor years. I believe my husbands father is so brainwashed by her negativity & lies that he'll never have a real relationship with his son again....not to mention me or his grandson, who he hasn't seen since his birth 14 years ago. Truly heart breaking. Please do a video on narcissistic mothers , complacent fathers & the children. Thank you

Great video, although also painful to hear the description of all the damage my son has suffered from his narc father. Can you make a video on the role of the mother in a relashionship like this and what she can do to help her son avoid being hurt from the father's behavior?

Right on! You hit the nail on the head with this video !!

You are so spot on. Your knowledge is very validating, thank you.

This is a fantastic summary and description. Thanks so much for making this video.

I like hearing different perspectives on this topic. Thanks for making this video, I deeply appreciate it

I'll have to watch this over and share her again. Thanks for this video. Explains a lot of my suspicions of my dad

I appreciate you so very much. I never quite knew what it meant when certain people said narcissistic father but now I do and I see very clearly that that is what I must deal with for the rest of time

You have just described my son’s father, and our poor boy protects him, lies to police, child protection, and lies for his father. But, he is starting to realize what he has lived through and he’s getting more and more angry and acting out dangerously. I wish the courts were better educated/equip to put a stop to these situations. This is without doubt child abuse and we need change now. Thank you for speaking on this and bringing understanding to what so many of us around the world are experiencing. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this. Watching this video really helped to make sense of some things I've been experiencing with my father for a very long time.

The malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I divorced has caused so much pain damage ptsd self image and self esteem issues in my sons that he has coercively controlled Berated belittled bullied all their lives

I am a 41 year old son of a narc father. He has been dead for almost 5 years and now i feel completely incapable. He never gave approval or support and now i dont know how to give it to myself i suppose. Dont know who i am or what i want, have chronic pain, years of addiction issues and have only felt hurt by therapy. I just have zero roads to walk down and now, ironically, feel like the bum my father said i would be on his death bed as I cared for him. Not even sure why Im writing this. Narcissism is the only disease where the infected doesnt feel any of the symptoms- he gives it to his family- and to the scapegoated child in particular. I never felt worthy of my own family, even as a small child. Not worthy of the most basic aspects of nature. Its amazing what damage a broken person can do. RIP.

Thanks for this video. You've just described my father in a nutshell.

Very helpful and well presented. Thank you.

It was the opposite of my father: he wasn't successful in the truest sense, but a failure, so he wanted his sons to be failures as well.

I really think that people should have to get a licence to have children. So many lives are ruined by people who shouldn't have been parents.

My father used to scream I demand your respect. This video is amazing. Thank you Darren.

I have court in two weeks and I’m terrified I won’t be able to prove my case, I cant afford a lawyer. But I feel much better after watching this that I can do it. Thanks so much.

This is so sad to listen to, but I needed to hear it.

OMG you have just in every single way, identified every Single little thing about My NARCISSISTIC Father, - - Thank-you for definitely doing and Showing this Fantastic Video. Sincerely:: yours M

The best video on this topic.. excellent. Thanks

Described my Dad perfectly. According to my bpd mother , rejected at 4 because i didn't want his cuddles and my sister came along. His self declared.goal was to break my spirit. 49 now and on disability for chronic pain associated with cPTSD

Spot on. As if talking about my father word for word.

spot on man! This man is speaking the truth!

You've described my husband's dad. They are the nearest family to us but never helped when we needed it. Then my husband then jumps when he calls. I never understood but now I see.

This is on the money sir! Thanks i needed this

Really informative and well said

I tick all boxes, thanks it helps to get clarity.

damn you described my entire relationship with my dad from my childhood. he passed away at 76 on 2012.

Excellent work.

Great video Darren thanks a lot, I can resonate with this and family members. Also did you know there's an orb flying by on the right of video, fairly good size, at about 7:45 minute mark? You were saying 'just keep going until you get the outcome you wanted'. 😊

I had a go with a particular Dad at an under 7 soccer tournament. He was so horrible to his son yet he also wanted the team to revolve around his son so he would shout at all the other 7 year old boys for not passing the ball to his son. Now I know.

Wow this is the closest explanation to my relationship with my father i have heard, 37 and still trying to get over it haha

I knew he had this condition as I always sensed that he was undermining and belittling my accomplishments. He is a loser and alcoholic but somehow he got lucky and made it in life, earning more than someone with a college degree and he dropped out. All my life they have always been fighting mainly due to his alcoholism and my mother's tendency to nag about anything, she would also provoked him as well. She is also a narcissist and used to spend his money. Their narcissism and mental abuse destroyed me physically and developmentally that I entered the adult world a depressed and weak young adult. This is the time now that he now wanted to make me homeless and destroy me. My parents literally physically weakened me that I am ill now. Now that I am an adult, it made me realized that I felt into their narcissistic trap for me to internalize what they wish me to become, a sick person. He also feared that I would be stronger than him and this is why my parents always tried to undermine my physical growth.

My dad did that and unfortunately for him his sons turned out so different.. great family men.. thank you Lord Jesus Christ ❤

Yes. Thank you for this.

Loving listening to these talks. During my childhood ( only child, girl when he wanted a boy, large age gap between parents) the only thing that showed I wasn’t adopted was my strong resemblance to my father. At fifty after living through most of the feelings you have talked of in the videos on various narcissistic situations, I’m through that hideous tunnel. I often wondered whilst being “ punished” why they bothered having a kid at all.( apparently mother went through ten years fertility treatments , lotsa miscarriages) I also wondered what sort of parents they both had to become so bloody damaged, realising even then that they carried trauma/ wore it like a badge of honour.🙄 as an adult , I’ve tried hard to draw on my feelings way back when during situations with my own son. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to absorb mine and my parents trauma, so it’s not “ passed down/along.”