Narcissistic Supply: How Does it FEEL?

  Рет қаралды 34,267

Prof. Sam Vaknin

Prof. Sam Vaknin

7 ай бұрын

Two differences between compliments and narcissistic supply: fantasy and regulatory locus.
Persons with narcissistic style or disorder are dependent on supply for external regulation - and not only of sense of self-worth.
How does it feel?
A rush or a high. Narcissistic elation or euphoria. Sense of omnipotence, invincibility, invulnerability, immunity to consequences of actions, decisions, and choices. Manic or hypomanic phase: anything is possible and achievable.
Delusional self-perceived creativity, insights, and discoveries (psychoticism)
Apotheosis: affirmed perfection and, therefore, lovability (countering the bad object). Mitigated separation insecurity (abandonment anxiety) and object constancy.
Expansive hyperreflexivity (psychotic): appropriating the environment to serve the narcissist's needs and agenda (they should be grateful!)
Cosmic justice restored: safety in an otherwise hostile and unpredictable world.
Haughty contempt coupled with idealization of sources in order to co-idealize.
Craving leads to compulsion-obsession and one track minded relentless pursuit.
Narcissistic supply universal drug akin to cocaine (which, indeed, induces grandiosity). Con artist gurus and coaches push it to manipulate their audience.
Empowered by technology, contemporary Humanity is comprised of 99% profoundly dumb people who compensate for their abysmal intellectual inferiority and nescience with pathetic and risible grandiosity and with insufferable victimhood entitlement.
The remaining 1% are truly gifted and endowed individuals whose veritable superiority renders them contemptuous and haughty - which is self-defeating.
So, in both classes of people: impaired reality testing and delusionality.
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Пікірлер: 63
@letmedohumble
@letmedohumble 7 ай бұрын
Life of a narcissist is pain, pain, pain, eternal pain
@YIE63248
@YIE63248 7 ай бұрын
Seeing them as cocaine addicts is helpful. He kept saying he didn’t mean to hurt people. It’s true that he hurts people, and it may also be true that his intent wasn’t to cause pain. He’s chasing his addiction because without supply he’ll collapse.
@nailaamer6541
@nailaamer6541 7 ай бұрын
Living with a narcissist for 22 years, all my supplies have exhausted, ive nothing else to offer other than silence and indifference, dont know how to get out of this grand arrangement with three grown up kids, house, jobs etc he is like a hologram, you poke and there is no one there
@mec.laurapalmer7155
@mec.laurapalmer7155 7 ай бұрын
What do you mean by this hologram metaphor.
@christycomer373
@christycomer373 7 ай бұрын
Exact same situation here, to a “T”….. perfect description of what I am married to…. There’s absolutely nothing there…. He watches the Flintstones every day like it’s his job.
@nailaamer6541
@nailaamer6541 7 ай бұрын
@@mec.laurapalmer7155 its like living with an invisible person, he is visible to rest of the world but for you he is never there, you can’t share ANYTHING , he was intentionally absent in all of my hardest times like sugery, childbirth, when i needed a hand to hold. If we are sitting in a social gathering , he would act as if i never existed, ask me the meaning of cravings for love, attention, possession… he has deprived me big time so for me he is a hologram , a husband who was never there for me
@nailaamer6541
@nailaamer6541 7 ай бұрын
@@The4thWayExperience my kids r 21, 17 n 15… yes i have a job, i thing that i made him do all these years is to pay all major bills including children education, if i walk out now, he won’t be paying for their uni and i dont have that much of a saving
@marilynbrowman5520
@marilynbrowman5520 7 ай бұрын
I love your comment. Holygraph to me is an empty shell, nothing fills them up. I too am exhausted, indifferent, distanced. How can we not be!!!!
@beachybird1251
@beachybird1251 7 ай бұрын
This all sounds very cult-like to me. There is no middle ground. Either you are with them or you are not. Independent thought is not allowed. Once programmed, it is highly difficult, if not impossible to break through their defenses and nonsense. Particularly when from one day to the next I am told I do not exist as a part of their world. It is crazy-making to say the least. These are not simple issues. Thank you for your videos!
@williamwoody7511
@williamwoody7511 7 ай бұрын
They are the cult leader and you are in or out…
@rong3648
@rong3648 7 ай бұрын
This is culty asf
@divyanshsh
@divyanshsh 6 ай бұрын
Sounds monotheistic in nature
@tanyabell7748
@tanyabell7748 7 ай бұрын
HEY DOC...HEAR THIS ONE BEFORE?? Like the narcissist said on his first date... "Sooo, THAT'S enough about me....now, tell me, what do YOU think if ME!?" Chuckle*😂😅😂
@rosiemckinzie8608
@rosiemckinzie8608 7 ай бұрын
As a kid growing up my narcissistic father used to say all the time “ I’m a legend in my own mind”. I always thought he was trying to be funny but in retrospect he was being serious 🧐
@makingpeacefulminds1080
@makingpeacefulminds1080 Ай бұрын
It's so childish that narcissism even exists-when you take a step back and think about it it's almost hilarious like what? 😭😭😭
@justinekelly7137
@justinekelly7137 Ай бұрын
I used to say that to my ex husband, not knowing at the time that he was a narcissist… 😢 26 years wasted
@greatglidesby3322
@greatglidesby3322 7 ай бұрын
Wow. This is wild. Sometimes I think I might be a narcissist while I’m watching S. V. Now, I don’t think I am. I’m a normy - just a normy with my fair share of flaws. I’m cool with reality.
@enoch6977
@enoch6977 7 ай бұрын
Are you saying that you think his information is tainted by his need for narcissistic supply?
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
This is why being the supply feels so horrible
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 7 ай бұрын
The source, not the supply.
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
@@samvaknin yes! Oké.that is a difference. I understand.
@YIE63248
@YIE63248 7 ай бұрын
It’s helped me in my healing to see that the narcissist’s actions are pretty compulsory; he does them literally to survive. Supply helps him feel perfect and deserving of love finally. He would collapse / die without these moments. Separating from “Mommy” is also compulsory. It couldn’t have gone any other way. The one thing that trips me up though is he also has BPD traits (I felt he used me to help him regulate his intense emotions). If BPD people do get attached to people, why could he discard me so easily? Maybe the answer was, he just needed new, non-stale supply more than the stability I provided. (He has ADHD too.) And I think I started feeling disappointed by him and was giving less adulation. Also, I guess he was so delusional and did crazy stuff to be w me in the beginning because I gave him such grade A supply. He told me I made him feel better than anyone ever had. Maybe he was telling the truth that losing that supply was painful. Maybe he was in pain. Maybe he moved on so quickly to survive. Had to harvest new energy to live.
@Princesslatifah
@Princesslatifah 7 ай бұрын
Great interpretation
@joripascarella9998
@joripascarella9998 7 ай бұрын
Omg. You just described my ex in a nutshell I hope his initials aren't JJ. To think there are multiple of these people is very scary
@suzystone244
@suzystone244 7 ай бұрын
Hello Sam. I have regulated him long enough. 9 years was like crawling through mud. This is a great teaching experience. It sounds ludicrous. Then again, we are dealing with narcissism.
@777Honeypie
@777Honeypie 7 ай бұрын
Thank you! The comparison of supply to a drug is helpful because I know when addicts use, their drug of choice becomes a primary relationship and the partner becomes valued as what they can do for the addict. The addict is controlled by their addiction. The craving a highly emotional and painful experience ... I think the attitude has shifted to be more compassionate towards addicts and I believe it will towards narcissists. That doesn't change the fact that the codependent partners need a lot of help and I think they get overlooked and ridiculed. I think they are in the best position to help and that shouldn't be dismissed. That's my opinion. I think this comparison gives good perspective.
@vaidehikeskar
@vaidehikeskar 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for the humour, Professor. It helps.☺️
@MilkaYam
@MilkaYam 7 ай бұрын
חחחחה "כשלנרקסיסט אין צפיות הוא מדבר עם פילפילון" אוהבת כל כך את ההומור שלך :)
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
This make so much sense. Thank you!
@ewape1313
@ewape1313 7 ай бұрын
Hi Sam, what you say is really strong. I am a narcissist myself and confirm that every word you say is true. This video sorts out my observations and reflections on man behavior. Thank you so much!
@eugeniebrown6207
@eugeniebrown6207 7 ай бұрын
I’m glad you admit you’re a narcissist and can get help with a therapist 😊
@marquese1960
@marquese1960 6 ай бұрын
How interesting it is to hear how they 'kill' and consume their victims 😮 this is how it feels when I walk into my narc family's residence when they are all there, it feels like a feeding frenzy and I find myself been kept under close surveillance by at least one of them at all times.😢😮
@LHanna-gn3qw
@LHanna-gn3qw 7 ай бұрын
Dankeschön. Narzisstische Zufuhr war für mich immer schwer nachzuvollziehen, weil es mir ziemlich egal ist, ob andere mich mögen oder nicht, gut allein sein kann und das einfach nicht brauche. Dann eskaliert es häufig zwischen mir und narzisstischen Menschen ... 🫸🏻😡💥
@enoch6977
@enoch6977 7 ай бұрын
Your language looks cool. I don't comprehend a single word of it but I like it.
@glenmorse9533
@glenmorse9533 7 ай бұрын
Thank you Prof. Wow, I think I get it now, I know I still don't know half of it yet, it just keeps coming, we appreciate you a lot though!
@lindaerman3436
@lindaerman3436 7 ай бұрын
❤ Pil Pilon is right! You are much appreciated.
@thanostiliakos3249
@thanostiliakos3249 7 ай бұрын
Best analogy on the topic.
@Rina-ov6eb
@Rina-ov6eb 6 ай бұрын
Love your jokes, Sam!😊 And thank you for what you are doing.
@CassandraWinstonR
@CassandraWinstonR 7 ай бұрын
🐘🐘🐘... dropping down a line for Prof. Vaknin in love! ❤
@timsaunders8989
@timsaunders8989 7 ай бұрын
Sam ,thank you, Aleikhem shalom
@RHathemoment
@RHathemoment 7 ай бұрын
I love your ornaments and mugs. :')✨
@EduUy2024
@EduUy2024 7 ай бұрын
Hello Sam. A follower from Uruguay 🇺🇾
@margaretjohnson1401
@margaretjohnson1401 6 ай бұрын
Narcissists are indeed pitiful and they render their victims so too, sadly
@drechterovich
@drechterovich 7 ай бұрын
👏👏👏 the pilpilon was correct in his observation
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
But why is hè so critical to his supply? And why does he want to devaluate the supply? When the supply is so importent for him?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 7 ай бұрын
Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
Thank you
@Marionrocknroses
@Marionrocknroses 7 ай бұрын
@@samvaknin oke
@MRSH100
@MRSH100 7 ай бұрын
Professor Vaknin Is situational narcissism or transitory narcissistic traits possible in chronic illness?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 7 ай бұрын
Yes. In any traumatic situation.
@YouMarch308
@YouMarch308 7 ай бұрын
I hope I can tag the coaches here advising women that they are queen and powerful. 😂 and the religious community as well. We are all perfect and etc. by God. Be wise people.
@zenmaiden1
@zenmaiden1 7 ай бұрын
Very sad, " 99 percent of profoundly dumb people.. ripe for con artists, laughing all the way to the bank."
@justinekelly7137
@justinekelly7137 Ай бұрын
My exes new supply is a professor of science; Professor Vaknin, is it possible that she may never see it that he is a narcissist? My ex demonstrates so many of the traits and behaviours. I listen to so many of your videos and he could be being described by you. Thank you for your knowledge and sharing with us.
@cleonagretelgodinho2881
@cleonagretelgodinho2881 7 ай бұрын
How do the internal objects serve the narcissist when these people have left him for good? @drsam Is it like a private museum of dead exes, which he tours??
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 7 ай бұрын
Watch the shared fantasy playlist and search the channel for "hoover".
@karlippo
@karlippo 3 ай бұрын
Professor l: so the personality of a person doés change when using coke for long periods of time, years? As you mentioned? I had a discussion with a scientist here in the Netherlands and he said there wasn’t any prove for that yet and he told me the underlying personality is most probably amplified. Not changed. But I found it a very unsatisfactory answer from him. Coke damages the frontal lobes right? Or are the personality changes due to coke reversed when the coke is no longer consumed? Without permanent damage (i mean like 4,8,10 years of addiction) to the brain and personality? Thank you
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 3 ай бұрын
Search the channel for “cocaine”.
@ElOmarco
@ElOmarco 7 ай бұрын
0:26 I'll buy one if it really works. XD Sounds like a bargain whatever the price.
@valevazquez7262
@valevazquez7262 7 ай бұрын
Pilpilon
@PeterShaw-ne1yq
@PeterShaw-ne1yq 6 ай бұрын
But the narc must perceive the external supply as expedient to facilitate their fantasy paracosm; I paid a compliment and an offer of help perceived as a criticism and one up and she fell into a rage shouting at me followed by extended silence
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