No, no he can’t.

Well, only because they forgot that last switch in Heaven.

I was like “hmmm he’s got a vibe” but then I saw him next to Tan France and I was like.... oh he straight as an arrow. Wow. How?

John Mulaney bull question mark

Oh, I have questions

A Stupid Eboy I can’t stop thinking about this

This sounds like an observation John would make. Well done.

@@thedeans6247 Lmao everyone compares me to him

LMAOO exactly!

"I don't even have a joke for that, that's how much I hate THAT SHIT!"

That's where I LOST IT

Yes

I just can’t-

It's true tho! I'm not even gay but its obvious that's how the goverment thinks about them.

@@antonymilne1346 its crazy right? Same with transgender people. It has just never occurred to me to treat or view them any differently than anyone else, but the govt is like "HMMMM so youre a GIRL who likes GIRLS??? And you want to MARRY??" "HMMMM you say youre a MAN in the body of a WOMAN???? And you want H U M A N R I G H T S ?!?!" like bro whats the big fucking deal? Why do you care?

I’m mind-blown at this revelation.

THIS COMMENT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

Strangely Accurate

chaotic neutral/almost evil

I Am Damp All The Time

He's on Netflix though isn't, he?

Grandma Susan yes, with two shows, this clip is from one of them

zizinnnn he has 3, new in town, comeback kid, and kid gorgeous. Idk why new in town didn’t make it

Elizabeth Powell was refering only about what’s on netflix

zizinnnn I was sure new in town was on Netflix! Did they take it off?

wait what I'm not even gonna get aggressive because one it's not my thing and two I don't get i- *oh.*

@@charoflakes it's from one of his sets lmao. It's hilarious 😭

yeah I realized it in the middle of writing the comment lmao

@@charoflakes then why did u send it anyway? lmao

because I'm stupid, that's why

"Is it an E? Or is it a 3? That’s up to _ye!”_

Like 3 times in a row scrolling though the comments I’ve seen a joke at the same time I heard it in the video

John puting his english degree to use hahah

It’s the way he jumped for me

Do you know why they show those pictures? Because they're also teaching AI what specific things are and aren't. Congratulations! By logging into your bank account today you've brought Skynet one traffic sign closer to murdering all humans.

@The Johnnie walker woah hey there buddy don’t go confusing me for a trump simp

@The Johnnie Walker source?

@The Johnnie Walker of course not you fucking baked bean

@The Johnnie Walker so where is the video? And you mentioned biden as well, where is that?

@@froggiebeans6928 So you are proud of Trump for being the first president to enter office supporting gay marriage?

Desperate being the key word here

He’s doing well! Good for him. Hope that Tall Child gets back to his time soon.

He needs to meet thereportoftheweek

Bold of you to assume he isn’t just that

What do you mean, if

Right but he basically never cusses, compared to most.

+The Versace Life It's funny you say that, because recently I commented to my sister that John Mulaney is a clean comic, and she said, "What?!" Then, I thought about my statement for a moment and realized he swears ALL THE TIME!! :D

Lol same, I told my mom he doesn't really swear and showed him to her and was like...wait...fuck....i mean...

I know right! Some people have that power, that even when they curse it sounds elegant and sophisticated! And his voice is so smooth and beautiful, you can just listen to it al day

Fluoride Jones dude I said the same thing to my family!

He Really Does

This Is So True

oop you copied this but still true

a whole ass MOOD

I read this as he said it lol

That joke made me imagine floating heads just living their daily lives and I was okay with that

Luisa Beato sameee

Best joke of the video

Snl monolouge!

The passwords of past you’ve correctly guessed. Now it’s time for the robot test! Which one of these photos does not have a stop sign in it?!

I need a show for the character he was doing at that bit.

For an engineer, e=π=3

This whole bit has me crying laughing

Right ? Gives single people less and less hope

Love is dead. Hope is gone.

Omigod when was that?

Wait what???

I wish I had never known this because it breaks my heart ♥️

He's a tiger mom!

Julz B he’s got some nice feminine hips

@@maddiehail7991 that's something he's sensitive about!

Explain this please?

@@adrijapv7321 he makes a joke that as a kid classmates assumed he was of asian descent (which he is not). Also his voice was high pitched so the person on the other line during calls (a blockbuster video worker) assumed he was a woman. Thus he makes a larger joke he's a proud asian american woman who don't need know man!

He does have feminine hips

Elizabeth Powell Nooo, that’s what he’s sensitive about!

dont just call him john. it makes me uncomfortable. say his whole name.

Considering he started out in life as an old queen, going through his Chinese Tiger Mom phase and now entering menopause, I think we can safely assume that John Mulaney is the real-life Benjamin Button.

@@MsCunningLinguistic I think that you mean man-o-pause

I wonder if he will still do that now that he is sober?

@@TheKillahKyla i mean probably. it seems like just a way to keep himself cool enough to finish the joke when he knows it's a good one , i doubt it has much to do with his drug abuse

@@anti_fragile he didn't do it in his early career at all

@@TheKillahKyla His jokes didn't hit as hard back then. Also , being a new(er) comedian likely comes with a lot of anxiety. I don't think he would be as comfortable on stage back then.

I dont know, but I love it.

Because he secretly is a transatlantic actor from the 1940s.

Thats his gimmick

@@kevinmuldoon2192 He really talks like that though. He is from Chicago

He's a new immortal

thesecretmeeting why is this so accurate?!! 😅😅

Hahaha he’s pretty hot.

@@aliciascat9433 damn right he is!

He's really cute

EW but Yes. it’s so weird

“This is where we keep the dog food and you are a horse! Such a good horse!”

Omg wow

@@ctina2572 the working class does not count as white.

@@ctina2572 what they mean is, being rich matters a lot more in some situations. Socially speaking, the privilege to get away is something that needs both whiteness and a trust fund.

@@ctina2572 a pound? As in a lb, 8 oz? Duh no shit, what did you think was gonna happen. That's a huge amount. There are black people who are imprisoned for carrying small amounts. Not a lb, but a gram. The number of white people imprisoned for possession of small amounts is nothing compared to other races.

Tell that to my criminal record you dumb twit

@@ctina2572 I got popped in Florida for a roach cost me thousands preach it sister

Everything he says is special

Yeah but u wanna support him by supporting official information

Where can I find his specials?

@@divyanshabatra9213 there are 2 in Netflix (Comeback Kid and Kid Gorgeous at Radio City). There is also New in Town that it may not be in Netflix depending on the country, but you can listen to it in Spotify, etc.

There is also an early album of his called The Top Part. It’s available on google play and iTunes in the US at least.

I’m convinced he is immortal and is from the 1940’s

I mean, he’s basically just a tall Asian-American child with feminine hips

Asian women always age well

@@peytonh.42 John and Shane Madej would get along really well then as they're both immortal 🤣

Facts. Nothing less.

And at least something from New In Town

Yes! And Delta Airlines!

Four more likes

It was too good to be called the best *it was the greatest*

>depressing reality ...what?

@@mattsmith457 black people and other minorities serve way harsher sentences for weed possession and distribution than white people in the USA

@@PatriotGabe not in reality-land. Which for me is just New Orleans and Los Angeles. Sounds like pandering/ he's TOTS Fur Shore wrong about how legalization is working. People still getting shot.

@@peterwelsh1932 there's literally tons of statistics backing this up, but please continue with your condescension, it looks great on you

@@dlein93 Thank You. But you meant "there are figuratively tons of statistics..." You said "literally" because you heard other people say it, thought it sounded smart, and it feels good to repeat it. Just like Mulaney repeating this assertion. Why is this rich white guy stopping in the middle of his act to pander for applause? WhoTF cares right -except every where I've lived justice is based on economics. Poor people are going to jail. You ca trust me: I volunteer, heading to church now, recovery program later. Daily reality. Real life: NFL players can run weapons drugs and release prostitute beatdown tapes, R Kelly can have a slave house, Michael Jackson can have Neverland, OJ can put out a book "How I Killed that White Bitch". A poor white dude with a grow box in his window down here is definitely going to Angola state prison if the $heriff can't figure out a way to keep him locked up in the city jail here. That's just good economics. ANYWHO- just makes me suspicious when I see a rich white dude, not nearly as funny as Pryor and Mooney, throwing out the same factoids. Devisive and misleading; stirring up hate and resentmemt while shifting the focus away from the real problem. Which will prevent a solution. Kissing you black ass, simultaneously making you dumb isolated. Use the Media to Keep the power of the masses divided while they praise you on TV. CAVEAT: I'm sure there are huge white patches of KKK America where it sucks to be an openly drug using minority. Just get the F out of there. My Irish Catholic family was up in Monroe and the KKK "Litetally" chased us out of town. Grandfather was The City Judge and even he grabbed his family and fled with their lives. Just the way money, power and nepotism works in Prume-Ape culture. Get off the internet/ Go hug a cracker. See if the world doesn't get better than watching clips of this idiot on BoobTube

Someone who doesn't like tall Asian American children with feminine hips? I don't get it either but

@@zomfies oh my gosh you're right

#peen#

A horse loose in a hospital?

@@zomfies omg that is cold

Lisa van den Hoven He desperately needs to be a guest on Crit Role, I need to see him roleplay within the DMing genius of Matt Mercer

Legit all I could think about 😂😂😂😂😂

i would pay good money to see this happen!!! that would be the best campaign ever!!!!!

YESSSSSS! He and Alex Hirsch should each guest star on Critical Role, individually of course. They're my dream guests for it.

@@toomanyrats534 Individually but also together. We can dream.

I loved that part so much and I don’t know why

Yeah, it’ll just include the clip of “they’re like dogs without horses!” And it’s like they don’t understand that that’s only funny because of the bit about Veronica the babysitter and it’s like hearing “be quiet, or the other guests will want one too”. Even if you know it’s the punchline of “waiter, there’s a fly in my soup”, it’s not funny if you don’t hear the full joke.

@@esobelisk3110 where was "waiter there's a fly in my soup"?

Jims' Club Gaming that’s just a generally well known joke.

@@esobelisk3110 oh thanks, english is not my first language and in my country we don't make this joke

What a nice sandwich.

@@adammcfall5133 I like mine with "existential-meltdown-about-the-gravity-of-the-true-situation-I'm-currently-catatonic-about" sauce.

Honestly he could explain gay sex to my 5 year old daughter and it wouldn't bother me lol.

@@IloveGorgeousGeorge Or you could have Bo Burnham do that, except you'd probably need to huck your phone out of a window for your daughter's sake... kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jJunitpp39DQkXU.html Bo and John are my two favorite stand-up comedians

his new special will not be family friendly just a warning for you derek

Asian American woman with feminine hips

I know, right? That tall child looks terrible

Get some rest, tall child!

You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends

Guys! Stop! This is what he’s SENSITIVE about!

Was scrolling and read this as he said it 😂😂😂

@Mo O'Connor *tHatS uP to yE*

BWAHH BWAHH WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT

“Because were delta airlines and life is a fucking nightmare”

arent those from his audio recorded shows not his netflix specials tho? :^0

S C A T T E R

keybard new in town is on Netflix but it wasn’t a special made for Netflix it was made for Comedy Central I believe but the top part is only auto recorded

What? What's the drama?

Explain pls

@@Winteramen comedy centrals youtube channel has been going hard for a minute now and netflix postures themselves as the place to go for standup comedy

@@iflywiteguy18 to be fair it kinda is

@@inserttaghere3015 It honestly probably is, I was just explaining to mountain boy he seemed pressed lol

Pretty much covers most of my 30s.

i like your pfp

That was the most Mulaney delivery ever

nooooooo that’s the thing he’s sensitive about!

And a high waist! Can't forget about that high waist

AnDa I want em.

I love ‘em.

I’m a dude with big tits. So we are even.

Bumps are what landed him in rehab. Ho ho ho. ...see, 'cause he's an addict.

* God *

I think we all know the cause of that now

Omg I can’t unsee that

True tho

Sreekanth Narayanaswamy this part made me laugh the hardest. It’s such an unexpected expression for basically saying “fuck life” yet it immediately hits so hilariously hard. God tier.

Well duh, its not like the robot is gonna teach itself that.. Yet.

Same with the not-at-all-sinister "heyyy, why not post pictures of yourself from now and 10 years ago? Wouldn't that be fun?" (We are trying to teach our face recognition algorithms about aging)

T Electronix The “pick all boxes with X” thing is to train smart car detection. The old “what is this word?” captcha’s used to be for helping translate old texts.

I watched a video on this just yesterday and had the same reaction as soon as he brought up the captchas :D

@@DeathnoteBB On behalf of the internet........no one is impressed.

But like it’s *literaly* John Mulaney but he’s the Riddler

The passwords of past, you've correctly guessed. But now its time for the robot test

Daniel Garaycochea omw yesss

Batman-"fucking WHAT?"

I second that

INTPTT Im 17 and Im already like this lmao I haven’t seen my best friend in MONTHS

Oh god. As someone in her early thirties I know EXACTLY how this is.

I'm in highschool and can say this is how me and my friends are. I changed schools me and my friends from the old school almost never text and barely hang out. We all like staying home alone so we text every couple months and see each other only on our birthdays. Yeah that's it

@@4492 lol same. So, so accurate

No need to wait that long, it starts right after colleage😂

This is so underrated

This is probably in my top 5 favorite comments of the year

SO THAT’S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE! I swear this has been bothering me for the past 4 years or so...

*mind explodes*

😂😂😂Omg. I was laughing for hours

Thank you, you are amazing

I need to make an animatic of Spiderham doing John’s bits but it’s hard to choose which ones I want to include

That would explain why his hand was wet. He just washed his hands. Sure.

😵💖

And they go to a Steely Dan concert.

@@superschmolz He's good.

Throw kroll in their somewhere

@@irider1201 love Steely Dan. John did take Pete to see Steely Dan.

Holy shit. That's a little too accurate.

You’re smoking something

But Seinfeld is funny tho

@@Bigdog6556 not anymore

Because $100 is better than $99. In the long run, it doesn't matter really, but still.

Same. I hope he's doing well. I hope he knows how much people care about him.

@@RecordsoftheDeepFolk I honestly i look to him so much, and it fucking sucks

Unfortunately I don't think so. John would have to go on another tour and he hasn't done that yet this year. :/

@@justanotherhalloqueen oh... Then I'll resched then tnx ;-;

Haha 😄 if you hurt yourself I’ll come for you

Please don’t hurt yourself

You doing okay?

Came here for this

I wonder just how long it took him to go, well I can write this shit; can I perform it? I adore Bill Hader's story that the reason he always cracked up while playing Stefan was that Mulaney, as the writer, would swap out the cue cards for something even more silly just before he went on. It always worked.

i really hate the accuracy of this

I'm 37 and don't feel gross... oh wait, it's because I don't do coke 😅