I ran into an ex narc and he started talking and as I watched his mouth move I realized I was not required to talk to him so I just walked away, without saying one word. It felt so good!

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

Stay silent and observe, and that way you’ll learn more in the long run. Don’t play their games, they expect you to react

You can count on being lied to, cheated on, robbed and miserable while you're with them and for the rest of your life if you stay.

They don't feel remorse for their behavior. Whatever is our reaction to their invalidation is just normal. We should feel compassion to ourselves..

When you don't react for so long, they look for the smallest crumbs to berate you for.

To neutralise the narcissist’s influence, you need to validate yourself. Become your own source of influence. Redevelop your self-love and self-confidence. What keeps you under their influence is often a lack of self-esteem.

They want you to react because that’s how they learned to relate to people. When you don’t relate to them, they think you’re being neglectful. So they escalate the provocation…

You have compassion for someone who’ll never have compassion for you. That’s a heavy lesson. The sympathetic nervous system arousal of anxiety/survival becomes so physically taxing, so radical acceptance and working on reacting is key. The constant nervous system arousal is unnatural and potentially harmful.

My narcissistic uncle drove my aunt to her early grave and then blamed her for not taking better care of her health. If she took even an hour to herself during the day he’d call and text asking when she’d be back… I miss her so much and find myself daydreaming “what if” she had just found the courage to leave him. She talked about it many times but just could never take the step

With narcissists, their feelings don't get hurt because they have none

THE DOCTOR RAMANI IS RIGHT, DO NOT CALL OUT THE NARCISSISTS, BECAUSE IT’S A HUGE WASTE OF TIME, TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH NARCISSISTS FOR THIRTY FIVE YEARS!!!

The hacks I use with my narcissist is earbuds. To keep my head strong because he’s toxic and pointless and attention seeking.

Pointless tango! Love that! I spent years acting out from the psychological, spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial abuse that was used to hurt me further. Took me 20 years to get this, and even once in handcuffs. Mortifying way to live. The one way he knew to get me, child abuse. I have been a mandated reporter for years. Silenced everyone. Asymmetric, a one-way street to a dead-end road. Smashed my life into a million pieces and calls me the abuser. I ended up homeless and both my children. He used to call my mom behind my back and manipulated EVERYONE involved, including church leaders and therapists. Abused by faith. However, now my faith is even deeper and all I have, healing and learned a lot. Enough is enough, run! Sorry I trusted him enough to leave my career and take care of our blended family. Thank you for your work Dr Ramani. Healing hearts and souls! Bless you! ❤

The best way to recover from narcissistic abuse is to not depend on them for ANYTHING. When you figure out how to get all your physical and emotional needs met that dont involve depending on the narcissist at all it is so empowering! You cant have control over someone who doesn't depend on you for anything!

I've learned more through videos like this over seeing a therapist who has nothing to say except, "Keep drawing boundaries" and stare at the time because double booking. Makes me want to try talk therapy again but my area is loaded with people who should not be a therapist.

When I had gone NC with my sister, she texted me that if I did not contact her within 24 hours, she would call the police to do a wellness check on me. I couldn't resist responding, "OK. I'll be here when they get here then!" She dropped it after she knew I wasn't going to rise to her bait.

Love this!!!I grew up a child of an alcoholic, yes, a narcissist. Thank you for giving me more tools to help myself behave better to get healthy and heal from my past.

I have had this used against me by a male narcissist. He explained that we should not discuss whether to make my father a DNR in front of my father to me over and over, in front of other family members, outside my father's hospital room. I finally lost my patience and said with emotion, "You don't have to keep explaining this. No one is such an idiot that they would discuss this in front of Dad." While my husband walked with me down the hall to help me cool down, I could hear him telling other family members how I was irrational and too emotional to make decisions. Later that day, he tried to interfere with the hospice nurse to convince her that my father could not be cared for at the facility I had chosen (regardless of the fact that he had input on it when my father was originally moved there AND it had already been evaluated by the hospice organization). When the nurse came into my father's room, I quietly asked what she needed me to work on (assuming I would have to reprove that my father could go back to the facility) and she said, "This is my job. You don't waste another thought on this." That was such a blessing and allowed me to be fully present with my father instead of reworking on logistics.

You are so much better off without them . Move on. Enjoy your life They love the attention they get from you.

They tell ppl that I’m abusive to them but they aren’t even here.

One of my last txt to my N Ex ‘And I felt secure with you, I only let you in once I felt safe. But you kept pulling the rug out from under me & brought out my anxiety. That messes with my nervous system. I can’t live like that. Lifestyle choices didn’t help. My only choice was to step away. ‘

Oh yes. He reckons I need treatment because of the way he behaves so badly

I feel happy to be here. 😊

Yes, I do feel unhinged and so does my family seeing my reactions. They were ready to commit me. I am learning though.

When I found out what he was and what he was doing and I stopped reacting and playing into his traps and mind games, he started saying I was being "too formal" and "sucking the joy out of him" and "I don't talk to him like I used to and don't share things with him anymore and it makes his heart hurt" then he became enranged and retaliatory and tried to shame, embarrass, triangulate and get rid of me.

Sometimes, you have to passionately put them in their place. The narcissist has just conditioned us to believe we are unhinged. Classic gaslighting. They want that reactive behavior just so they can gaslight you.

Take care of you I got yelled at on Thursday stood in the yard and got yelled at because he put the chainsaw away because I told him to set it aside because I didn’t know if we were gonna need it so no he put it away then when we needed it again it was my fault and I proceeded to get screamed at. I had sweat dripping down my face. I grabbed the rag to wipe my face off and he screaming at me. Why aren’t I standing there telling him what branches to cut off this bush because this is how he wants to do yardwork I’m supposed to stand there and pay attention to him and direct him. This is how he gets supply. He wants attention like a three year old kid mommy watch me watch me play basketball or whatever I’m like I have other work to do your 59 years old if you cannot handle trimming a bush then just leave it and I will do it later and I walked away Iso I walked away. I did my own thing and he was standing there screaming all at me the neighbors can hear him he’s embarrassembarrasses himself and he looks like an asshole because he is an asshole, but after being sick over being abused for no reason at all the middle of the yard and he’s done this before is his favorite place to pick on me. He’s found a new new abusive tactic that he likes so I’m not working with him anymore I just realize it’s not even worth it, I’ll never do anything with him again on the way out the door

I needed this today! Self doubt is debilitating and keeps us frozen -afraid to put one foot in front of the other. I was just told for the billionth time that I "need help". Duh!! Of course I need help! 25 years and 3 lives destroyed including our 2 daughters . Why am I still here?!?

Thank you Dr. So many people want to blame the victim and then you have victims blaming themselves. It's very lopsided. You definitely support your clients help to not be responsible for others actions and to allow victims to have an assertive voice without self gaslighting. Victims try heroic efforts to fix things while the Narcissist will sabotage it all.

When we are surprised about what the narcissist does, that shows we are not to the point of being healed. To those healed, they know the DNA of the narcissist and are no longer surprised with anything they do or say. It shows you have control of your inner self, not allowing anyone to take that away from you.

Thank you for this clarification! I gray rock my narcissistic husband about 98% of the time now, but if I do push back, I always feel like a failure. ❤

Using the words "I feel" are trigger words for them. Just state the facts in a non-emotional tone and in a flat-way (no emotive facial expressions) Animate for your friends that actually care, not for them. Think of them as a wall. Think of your messages to/for them as sticky notes. "I need to..." Use the words "I need" instead of "I feel". Stay on point. Show no emotions. And, most of all - stay away from any words that reflect "feelings". They think in a transactional way. They think in black and white. Everything is either a "yes", or a "no" to them. They do not care about anyones feelings. Go to your real friends/other family members that actually can feel - and validate your feelings with them (if needed)

It's optimistic to be pessimistic with a narcissist 🤭

This is so true. dr Ramani I feel happier hearing your wise words ….. it explains how & why I feel so may things. X

These dynamics. Frustrating to impossible. They can’t shake it when you simply build the courage to meet them with a completely justified, normal conversation. Try asking them how they feel, fpcusing on one thing (likely negative), asking what might make them feel better about that. It’s like it never occurred before or them that something might actually be done to improve stuff. Kindness applied never occurs to them. Do they know they’re choosing misery? Why can’t we just be adults? That’s how it feels.

I was just thinking how unhinged i am for last 2 days. This video literally made me 😢

indifference = neutralized

This woman is wonderful ⭐️ helping a lot of people, undoubtedly!

After 2 years of following you, i am finally begining to see the light

Book title for someone “we can’t always live in escalation” 🤔 it was the constant escalation which tuned me into how I was participating in the toxicity as an empath by feeling and mirroring every escalation

You helped and still help to fill the missing time in my daily life and many thanks and I finally got addicted to a quality and necessary podcast 🙏🏻❤

Adore you!!

We must jazz up the mastery of my sympathetic nervous system surprises!

The problem occurs when they do character assassination for more than 5 years, contacting every possible acquaintance through Internet and never stop, doing this every 6th month. Lots of psychologists forget that nowadays it's more difficult to go silent completely as the social media still allows them to find out where you are at with your life. Especially if the narcissist is the mother.

I became so frustrated on a vacation we took the narc on. We set boundaries prior to trip about a lot of complaining, but it was constant. Chaos from beginning of trip to the end. I finally had it and said enough! Then that’s when the passive aggressive mean comments started and now they’re the victim.

Yes - Dr R is amazing and spot on as always! These actions, emotions, thoughts, etc. my clients have are the reactions normal people have who are “prisoners of war” in their own homes - this is how they feel and act/react as a measure to survive their (emotional, intimate) prison-guard captors. It’s all about power and control that the Narc “needs” to lord over their narc supply. PsychEd about how Narcs develop and operate always helps my clients understand that they are the normal one, and are just having a normal reaction to being abused, controlled, lied to, etc. When my clients start gray rocking, the client does become indifferent to their Narc…no longer personalizing the Narcs words and actions. And they now feel empowered and in control of their own life again. The client’s self worth and confidence are rebuilt/restored… And they do come to the knowledge and understanding that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference! They emotionally leave the relationship before they physically do…and they all leave with the bonus of having a well-tuned radar for Narc characteristics, behaviors and abuse.

It’s funny when my narcissists in my life they carried out reactive abuse and tapped me, one even said at the end of the recording “now you see what I have to deal with”. So it can be twisted both ways in recordings. So just because they made the recording or have the reactive texts doesn’t make them the victim.

I needed to hear this. Thank you! ❤

I so needed this reminder… I’m getting there! Some days are better than others but the better ones outnumber the bad days!❤😂

Taking a brave move for myself today. I could always do whatever had to be done for my son while raising him. Its so difficult to do what's hard but best for me. That needs to change. These small actions may not seem like much to others, but that's ok. It means a lot to me to be strong for ME!

Thank you for THIS video. I will watch it until I 'get it'. 💖

I practice radical acceptance, nevertheless, how do you not react when your mother ruins mother's day? She ruined it for everyone first hour in the morning. After her snapping nobody was in the mood to celebrate her, restaurant reservations has to be called off and the entire day's mood was spoiled. I couldn't help but cry on my own, a mix of frustration and sadness. I guess that regardless of therapy you can't really dodge all curved balls.

I grew up watching my siblings come from extremely toxic to eachother to full on narcissistic while raising their kids. They abused them and used them to their own advantage. Then later as adults they turned their abuse towards me. I tolerated them for only so long, UNTIL....I unleashed years of living and dealing with them. I put my points out to them, and I was sooo fed up, I also swore and called them all the names that belonged to them. I own it. I did unleash years & years of their BS abuse.

OMG, too many awesome wisdoms and truths to even write about!!!! Thank you so much!!! 👍❤❤❤

Loved this recap! On so many levels. As a sensitive male, I have endured many years of losing myself under a narcissists wife’s control, and after learning to disengage, I finally said “you’re a narcissist, look it up”. To my surprise, things have changed. I am no longer gaslit and have gained back my inner strength. Not sure that works for everyone, but my sense is that she had no idea she was like that. I know her new found respect for me may be temporary but has opened my eyes and am realizing how much there is an ignorance embodied in there psyche of how they impact others.

Wow! The beginning of the video you hit the nail on the head! I was injured shortly after I met him and ended up fighting social security and suing Workers Comp for 5 years! Not only was I in pain but the emotional experience was awful to go through. I was so depressed losing My job and being disabled permanently and tried to commit suicide 4 x in 2 years. He never cared. I spent 30 of the best years of My life with him. I'm happy to say I will be divorced on June 16th which is Father's Day! Happy Father's Day You A-hole! 🎉 I have gone NC since Feb and I am so grateful I did it and stuck to it. The last time I spoke to him I was physically sick and emotionally drained and I couldn't understand what was wrong. Then I realized how Toxic he is for Me and that is when I went NC. I'm so glad he moved over 2K miles away and I will never see him again! Thank God! His daughter can take care of him now. I'm free for the first time in 30 years 🎉 🎶 💃🥳 🦋

Something needs to change. We are all sick.

Lately I have learned not reacting, but she found another scapegoat., because there is no narcissistic supply from me. I don't give her anything! And now I have fears what kind of revenge she will make.

Dr. Ramani, thank you SO much for your hard work and dedication to help others! You are different from other Doctors because it's obvious that you don't treat your work primarily as a business, you're a obvious mature and well educated humanitarian first- and your business is secondary! ❤❤❤

It’s like they never consider the possibility of kindness. Or kindness applied. Being around someone who chooses misery is heavy. Doing kind things trying to be helpful to those who hurt me feels like yesterday. And that’s when the indoctrination into the cult of them happens. When today feels like yesterday and tomorrow will feel like today.

Futurum malorum præmeditatio from stoicism, or negative visualization is a lot like preparing yourself for what could likely happen. Wise stuff. The second idea that we only control our minds, not outside events is more stoicism! Super cool! Letting someone else control your emotions gives over what little power you have over this world to someone else.

I had started finding these signs on Google that I was with the narcissist. Finally, I turned to him and I asked him if I’m so bad then why are we even together and he had no words. He also called me the C word I told him with the response yes, I am. I am the pioneer queen of the c word and don’t you ever forget it there again, no response other than he was perplexed that it didn’t phase me and the direction he wanted. I tried to leave telling him I’m not happy and I’m gonna move out. That was the wrong thing to do because he wanted to have control to end the relationship, and that wasn’t happening because they always have to have the control of ending the relationship

Thank you, your tips are very valuable!

You are very good Dr. Ramani, you really get what we the victim of narcissistic people experienced. I really didn't think that there is somebody who can understand and validate my experience and feelings. All your videos, whatever topics or area of topics within narcissistic people is it are really spot-on. I enjoyed your examples and list of scenarios. Thank you for the advises, it really helps me a lot. As if I have a best friend who can really understands me. I have been experiencing this for 50 yrs. already, and still ongoing...and there is no escape. It's my parent who is very very intelligent. It's very hard, it's my faith and my sanity that keeps me holding on. :)

Mines have convinced literally any and everyone that I’m not even myself. That I have a twin and every single positive thing I do gets attributed to this non existent person whose name changes. They’re getting family and friends to back them up on their lies because they apparently have some grand plan that would benefit everyone, but everything they say about me either serves to demonize me, take credit for my work and accomplishments, or paint me out to be a terrible person. They’ve been telling me people how to treat me. Pretending they have authority to decided if,when, and who I date. They’ve been creating the narrative about me now for 2 1/2 years and I literally get mistreated and disrespected all day. I don’t know what to do.

I began shutting down my emotions toward him and shutting down my reactions. That made him excell his rage. To the point I called 911. Got an order of protection, and now have a two year order of protection.

Mine called my parent's hillbilly bears . I could not stand by and take that!

It’s really sad that we had to get to such a point of confusion & desperation that we had to go online to find out wth was happening to us! I did. Even after a few years of therapy and intense listening & study, some of us, (me) still need that permission to express how we feel about being blatantly abused for so long. Thank you Dr. Ramani for saving & drastically changing my life. Even geographically!! You are a force of nature & I thank you & the universe itself for helping so many. You have left a long, & incredible legacy of healing millions. 🥹🫶🏻

I love this video, ESPECIALLY the “you make me feel” part. (about 18 minutes in) I came to this realization the hard way but if you can start practicing it now you will be better for it. The only thing I would add is when you say “you make me feel” you open the door for the denial of your feelings. Even when dealing with someone who isn’t toxic, it’s human nature to become defensive when someone accuses you of something. If you say “I feel” it takes away the power to deny or or manipulate what you are trying to communicate. I try to take away the “you do this, or you do that” out of most conversations. Certain people will still try to manipulate the way you feel, especially when you are admitting a vulnerability. But by owning your vulnerabilities you take away their ability to own them. When you do that a toxic person will probably still try to manipulate, but you took away their power. They will likely make themselves look ridiculous.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani!❤️

I'm so glad you addressed not calling them out. I was thinking of writing an email to let him know the real reason it didn't work out. Because, he is telling everyone the wrong reason. But, I realize that it won't change anything about how He thinks it ended. Its hard after 30 years of an abusive marriage. The disrespect of My body was horrible to say the least, without going into detail. I really appreciate your videos and Everyone here who has been through this horrible pain and self doubt and thinking We are crazy!! "IT'S NOT YOU" ! I love the Book Dr. Ramani ❤ Thank you for all your Wisdom.

I got to self gaslighting after a long time, thinking i was loosing my mind and that i had memory loss. I started at this point to greyrock whithout knowing what it was, not even realizing at the time that a narcissistic relationship was what was happening to me. And it cut the grass beneath him. As if what he said stopped having a hold on me. I did not expect anything from him that was different from the usual, i stopped relying on him. And i gave up trying to fix things. Slowly, i learned, i recognized the patterns. And i found the strength to leave. Still now, i greyrock around him. And i keep my reality, and i feel proud whenever it happens. It removed most of his power over me I started to follow this channel way after, still learning a lot. Many thanks for sharing all that, for helping people making some kind of sense of all this, and for helping us protect ourselves

We have a “I’m surprised that you’re surprised. “. 😂😮

As they duplicated my sentences, only anger I had to neutralize.I did. But I couldn't neutralize their influence on others,nobody can.

We should not go DEEP in the pointless tango, which the narcisistic relationship is. Thank you for those words dr Ramani ❤😊 God bless you ❤

Bravo! It makes me happy that you are in this world. You are golden, more precious than Rubies, as wise as Solomon, and as beautiful as Cleopatra.

That helps me a lot .. Just yesterday I had a conversation with my Mom about our (so called) family. To me it was needed to say and I did not snap. I explained some feelings snd thaughs and asked her Q: How do you feel? A: Everything is BS. Q: What exactly do xou mean? A: Your behavior. Q: What? Did I hear it right- My behavior? Again, how do you feel? A: Your behavior. Your complete behavior. Q: Ok, you said it again and maybe you whant to think over. I would like to ask you again. How go you feel? A: Your complete behavior. Q: Ok, its hard to believe for me, but it shows exactly why I feel like I'm the scapegoat. And you actually think I'm the only one that has any behavior? Only me? Not you or someone else in our family? A: ...* silence* I left .. even though it's hard and painful i know its better. I deeply respect the feelings and thoughts they have about me. That helps me to reduce the contact on a minimum.

Thank you, doctor very much Your videos are life changer since Jony Depp and Amber's court hearings I finally realised what I went thru from my early childhood till now And you've saved me I'm a survivor. My children are survivors. I wish that one day we will thrive

41and going on.. years of marriage to a Narcissist I have believed I am the one with all the problems and I have been called all kinds of words. Only after listening to your videos did I realize its not me who is all the words he used on me, now follow DEEP. I am catching it and correcting it. Thank you Dr. Ramani

Please post up the retreats of your programs coming up in NC in the autumn's seasons again..Thanks, Doc..💐

My narcissist partner just doesnt talk, at least not to me. He says i am the problem because of my mouth and that i cause him more stress than anyone in his life. Silent treatments make me snap. I hate it. I feel invisible and unworthy. Untill watching videos i didn't even know it was abuse because he always justified it by saying he felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to say.

OMG this is wonderful to hear Ramani. My manager has narc traits at least and I find her aggressive and passive aggressive communication unacceptable so tell her not to talk with me like that... Hearing a rationale for my reactions makes me feel validated and helps me understand my responses clearly. My manager thinks it’s me who is at fault, not her, and has suggested I need to behave better. The many times she has not listened, denied what she has said, been dominating and totally lacking in collaborative dialogue is a big issue for me and my colleagues. Thank you, I can develop my communication with her regarding boundaries more confidently and calmly now. And I can be more confident in selecting when to respond and when to ignore her irrational behaviour.

I told my narcissistic ex, calmly, that she is a narcissist. First off she blew it off, after a few back and forths she was willing to watch a video (for a tiny bit before turning it off and disagreeing) and after saying she couldn't connect to any of it for even one bit, she applied her usual vulnerable/self-righteous way of expressing rage; distantly, silently, expressing her disagreement about/with me to others. After a week or maybe 2 we played cards again in our usual friendgroup at work and it was the first time seeing eachother in a while. I was a bit yellow-rock-ish and didn't go into deep conversation with her, which afterwards she asked how it went since it's been a while and she has a hard time reading me, to which I didn't reply yet for a few hours so she ended up calling me. At first it was shallow and more like trying to see what I think about her, but after she said "What was it again you called me last time? What was the word?", to which I replied "You know exactly what I called you last time, don't play games." to which she laughingly said "What games?", so I said "You know what I called you, a narcissist *name*." also half laughingly. Afterwards we had a long conversation, a normal and calm conversation in which she was actually willing to listen. At first she was more so listening just so she could just simply know what I think but not because of interest or agreement, but after a while she actually started listening. I gave certain examples to which she listened carefully, with the most important 1 being kept till the end; how it influences her kids, especially her youngest. In the end she agreed to all of it, the behaviors and patterns, but she said she doesn't believe it to be narcissism. Then she proceeded to say "What type of narcissist are you than?", which gave me a good laugh hahaha.... xD I did ponder for a while whether I am a narcissist or not, which I told her, but that no, I am not a narcissist. But she kept insisting for me to say what type I'd be, so I replied that if we entertain that idea, that I would be a vulnerable narcissist. Then while still laughing I told her thanks for that reply, that was classic narcissism, that every psychologist out there heavily recommends not confronting a narcissist about being a narcissist because it will almost always turn around and it will end up with you being called the narcissist. To which she too laughed loudly. I am honestly proud of how this conversation went, I am proud she managed to listen for a good hour and a half, I am proud she admits to the behaviors even though still not accepting the concept of narcissism... And honestly that's all I can do, that's all I wanted to do before being able to let go: plant the seed. I already told her, that just like many other times, she might still disagree now, but in 2 weeks she'll come back and say "Yea Kevin, you were right", to which she laughed and said "Maybe, we'll see". That's about where we ended our phonecall, but I know it went well because later she asked when we'd meet up again sometime (which we did and it was comfy and nice, shallow but comfy and nice) and there was 0 rage from that conversation or since that conversation, not even the silent or distant rage. Conclusion: Should you confront a narcissist about being a narcissist? Probably not, it highly depends on why you do so, how you do so and what you expect to get from it. This story sounds nice and all, but don't let it give you false hope... She didn't suddenly and magically change, she didn't come to this point of being willing to actually listen easily or smoothly, I didn't expect anything to come out of this confrontation other than me having the peace of mind of at least having told her (If nobody tells her, constructively, than how will she ever become aware of it?), she probably rates about a 3 to 4 on the narc scale and she couldn't beat me up even if she tried so I had no physical fears from confronting her on it either. Stronger yet, she still is the same, the only difference being that she now knows of the concept of her portraying those behaviors to her kids, but how it evolves from here (still recent) is yet to be seen. I'm sharing this story because I am proud first and foremost, not gonna lie haha, but also because it IS possible to have a normal conversation with a narcissist about narcissism, even though there are a lot of factors at play and all of them have to be perfect for it to even get to a point of willingness. That said, I also want to explicitly state that I think that this is a unicorn moment... So really don't get false hopes.... This was a 42 year old female with 4 kids, vulnerable/self-righteous narcissist that I'd rate 3 to 4 out of 10 on the narc scale, who actually has a pretty good heart and who I explicitly told that I wanted her to know regardless of recommendations because I care about the impact it has on her kids, which she thought was really sweet. I don't think this would work on any type of malignant for example... And I don't believe that she will change knowing this, but I do hope she'll adjust certain things here and there to minimize certain impacts, and if she doesn't then I'll have (sort of) peace with it in a way because I did all I can and changing her isn't one of those things.

I am aware that I still gaslight myself after watching this. Will be more aware and catch myself. I see now it's from narcissistic abuse from my mother. I stopped calling things out years ago. It wasn't worth my sanity.

And another huge tool is to pray!!!! That’s my first go to. ❤

Thank you so much for inspiring a lot of us to have a voice again. There facts and validation. You’ve seriously been someone to help sooo many people. I try to healthily keep my voice now, hold myself along with the ones I love accountable for bad behavior. Bad behavior is bad behavior no matter how it’s flipped and NOONE deserves it. We all have stayed so scared to get locked up if we make them mad or get hurt worse or whatever the matter may be. I just think you’ve definitely been a historical marker in ppl finding that voice and that voice for healthy and kind accountability for self and loved ones.

In the past I led a team of the worshipping group. We used to meet before church because it was the only time all had available to do rehearsals. When for the thousandth time my x was late with his preparations for the serman, I lost my cool, took the car and met the group at church. It was their time (5 to 7 people) too. And let him ride with official transportation. It took a long time to set that signal and I believe I grew mostly in such moments when I put a foot down.

Dr Ramani, Your videos have opened my eyes and mind so much. Listening to you has helped me get my power back from everyone who has been taking it all these years 💯 I am in a much better place in my life now and it all started with the first time i watched one of your videos ❤ Thank you SO MUCH for putting this knowledge out for free and helping SOOOOOO many people like me. You are a saint 👏

Love the titles of these videos!

And this was how my story with my ex narc unfolded. 2.5 yrs of me losing my cool with my children who were 14 & 16 at the time. I could only handle so much and I am usually very patient but with this guy!!! It drove me bonkers and my mental heath and that of my 2 children's mental health suffered because of it. It kills me to think what i put everyone who knew me through because of him. I blamed myself for not being strong enough. 😢

This teaching is also what we need to clean up the impossibility of the right and left delusion and pain we have under the government even at that level.

I was speaking my mind, he said, I lost it. I haven’t been the same, I’m irritated, I’ve changed, He** Ya, I’ve changed, I’m onto your BS and I’m not taking it anymore. He tells me my family members are praying for me, I’m not well.

We have a camera system outside, my husband just retired. I'm folding clothes and see him notice the neighbor lady and be lined to talk to her. I laugh to myself .when he comes in he starts telling me the neighbor lady saw him outside and ran over to talk to him. I decided I wasn't letting his lies go anymore so I said oh I saw you running over in the camera. He became so enraged called me out of my name berated me for the cameras. I mean he exploded. But the good is he hits n runs left the whole day. 48 yrs of no accountability. In trauma therapy and I feel the old 13 yr old jayne coming back thank you Dr Romini. ❤❤

You are literally saving my life thank goodness to you ❤❤❤❤you’re amazing

Because it is not "us", we see as snapping. It felt good but in the end, regretful.

I feel like there is a small victory every time I correctly predict my narcissistic ex’s behaviour. Moving from being shocked and disappointed each time to foreseeing it most of the time feels like such a load off.

Seems like “hinged” to me 😁

Thank you so much, Dr Ramani

Self advocacy 💯💥🎯