Exactly this! We lost nothing!

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Wow 👏

Powerful

He is the one who lost out.

Hey are you trying to attract love (sp) or get an ex back to you, the love specialist offers the best solutions in fixing,restoring broken relationships and attracting love 🌺

±2348089808728⏯⏯???????

Brilliantly stated John. Thanks for being a part of my KZfaq family

@@SusanWinter absolutely. Your channel has gotten me through some tough times. And for that I am truly thankful

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Yes indeed

I wish the reality of the situation would hurry up already! Caught in a loop right now.

You make it sound so easy…. I’m personally struggling to let go of a much loved friendship… we were never going to be together… that’s fine but she’s gone from my life ..I feel like a large part of me has been ripped out… I just don’t know how to get over it and fill the void.

Thank you so much. Felt your words

@@deantaylor1512 Same. Things will never be the same

Nah, people who claimed to care about another do owe honesty and closure when choosing to end something, especially when it’s out of the blue. We just need to accept that it may not be forthcoming. Too many people walking around thinking unaccountability is a virtue and no coach should be tacitly endorsing that kind of toxicity, well intentioned as they may be.

@@77Creation TRUE

I think we need to all write that and put it on our refrigerator to read every day. I love what you said

So beautifully said ! Thanks for those words !

" Anything less is not even a true loss" SO TRUE. Reminds me of the quote "not everything you lose is a loss"

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Love this Jean. thanks

Yes that's what I said when my boyfriend threatened to leave me I told him if he leaves he wasn't mine to begin with and the sooner the better. Now that he ghosted me it still hurts and I've been in the loop

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

😢🙏🏽❤️

Thank you 🙏

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***.

It's ok to be hurt and show it. That's not weakness. Why would you pretend everything was cool when you met? That's saying it's ok to be a doormat. Confront him and call him out

Listen to this again. Just give yourself the answer. YOur mind will stop when it has resolve

@@SusanWinter thank you for the kind and insightful words

Accept it for what it is. The fantasy was just that...A fantasy.

I hope you're out of the loop and feeling way better. Signed, someone in the loop right now.

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Hey how are you doing now?

happy to read this, D Michaels

I am in exactly the same situation... First guy I dated and liked so much in a loooong time, he told me he was into me and wanted to be with me long-term then, made future plans with me and then... he ghosted. It hurts so much!!!!!! I can't sleep at all and my self-esteem is horrible.

This is why we have to do the closure ourselves. It is very common to have a break up or be abandoned by someone who gives us no explanation. It’s impolite. It’s not kind. It’s thoughtless. But it happens. Knowing that, we need to do the work ourselves to free ourselves

That happened to me once. In the end I accepted that a decent person would never have done that and I actually had a lucky escape. That helped break the cycle!

I think it makes us feel less than like we are deficient or they wouldn't have left. I know deep down that isn't true. The issues are theirs not ours. Take care. X

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

I know that it can feel like that. It has certainly degraded as have our manners and civil behavior around dating. However, there are many people who feel as you do. There are fine individuals who want a quality relationship with a meaningful connection. Hang in there. Please don’t let the negative make you fount the positive

@@SusanWinter Thanks for those thoughtful words, Susan. I’ve been trying to find a way to stop thinking that way as well

I feel the exact way. I feel like giving up, it is so much work to weed out the wrong ones. I feel this way about finding good girlfriends too. Seems like humans, in general, are terrible at intimacy and connection.

I so understand your frustration and exhaustion with this, because I sometimes also feel at wit's end with all of these people who don't know what they want. But I think searching is worth it, if only because a life of pain avoidance is a life lived in very small parameters. There is nothing wrong with wanting a pain-free life, and contentment and balance are wonderful things to strive for. They can, however, also be found in relationships - I've had the good fortune before (and feel very blessed by fortune for those experiences). I do agree that throwaway culture is a thing, a thing that makes people far less considerate with another's feelings, and that sucks. But you know what? People who are clear about their values _and_ have good values have always been around, will always be around, and won't be derailed into insensitivity by how the general population behaves. Yes, it definitely takes effort to weed out the fakes and the purely self-interested. However, facing this challenge only makes the prize sweeter when you do find those wonderful humans who, to quote Susan, want the same thing as you and want it with you. Also, it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but a life of ups and downs is far more memorable and feels more vivid and rich than one lived in constantly safe but small parameters (take it from someone who suffers from anxiety of various kinds). I'm not saying this about ups and downs in order to defend rollercoaster situationships - those suck for sure - but to say that the search, with its excitement and hope paired with reality checks and sometimes incompatibility and sadness, may, retrospectively, make you feel better about a life lived fully. Even if you don't find the one for life, you A. will have had exposure to all kinds of people, and B. be able to say: I gave this my best shot. There is no guarantee of success, but you know how it goes - "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". It's normal to feel depleted by the current dating landscape, and perhaps you could use a short break? But don't give up on your dream :) You yourself are worthy of getting your desires fulfilled, and, in the absence of that, to at least know you did your best for yourself. Even if that "best" means figuring out one day in the future that you're better off cultivating the connections to your friends and family. Just don't give up on searching for the best constellation for yourself :)

@@larissagonzales6075 I gave up for over five years then decided to start dating again only to get into a relationship to be ghosted and left heartbroken.

I’m so glad you’re going through the healing prioress! So much love to you!

ZEN MAIDEN!! Hiya doll. Great to see your comment here. You're living proof that this works.

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

So glad to read someone else has been in the loop for a long time, over a year for me

Oh beautiful Anna, I can feel your heart fromt he words you write. I'm truly sorry for his inadequacy. Look what he missed out on... a loving and committed partner. Thank you for your thoughtful note. I am happy that something I've offered is of help. Keep moving forward. You are meant to be with an equal.

Keep going. Loverelationship can be as addictive as cocain. It hurts like hell we the loved one is gone. But believe me the experience is teaching you how to seek the security and unconditionally love within. ❤️

@@SusanWinter Thank you! It was lovely to read your kind words. And you are right - I totally deserve an equal, ie someone who loves as deeply and sincerely as I do 😊 Anyway, wishing you a blessed week, and keep up the wonderful work!

@@carlauchoaknoll Thank you, yes it does feel like an addiction - even though he’s behaved dishonourably in various ways and I know the full picture of him now, my heart still struggles to let go because I remember the way he used to be and the immense joy he gave me! I definitely need to love myself more - would be great to feel ‘whole’ and joyful as just me. Hope all is going well in your world 🥰

@@annamallard2730 Thank you ! I am calibrating my Self-love 😎 God bless you. 💋

I am loyal and fully committed too but these values don't mean much for some people.

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Tanay!! Thank you For your beautiful message. You are only 24, and already so wise. True, we haven't met in person but please know how grateful I am that you've found your way to this community. Big hug!!

@@SusanWinter big hug!

Tanay you are not alone, i feel just like you. I am 27. I hope life has some unexpected and beautiful things in store for us

I can say your first paragraph about her for me. She is amazing

I know the feeling of revenge. Let this pain motivate you to get better for yourself. When the time comes and you feel good you will not even care if he sees you or not. You deserve someone that loves you for you. And you deserve to love yourself.

@@SofiaGogo This is good advice. And I was just about to tell her the same thing

I’m terribly sorry for your experience. But like the other commentators said, use it to fuel “a better you.”

Correct. Unpack it and sit with it.

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Thank you Harley

true

I’m so glad that I was able to help! What did you think about the video

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

@@SusanWinter enlightening as always... hard at some points, sometimes it's not easy to face reality

Hi Alexandra. Fantastic to read your thoughts on this topic. And yes, mental health issues are an entirely different ball game. The experience can create automatic hot and cold, along with mixed messages. Regardless of the origin, we must be able to extract ourselves from the mental loop. Reframing the thoughts and catching them in the first place is off in the beginning of that transformation. Thanks again for your commentary

Alexandra, I've noticed your comments on Susan's videos before, and I find it so cool that you analyze and think about these topics from so many angles. It's, I think, an enrichment for the world :) I'm obviously no dating specialist, but I've been in this kind of situation before, on both ends. All I can say is that mental health issues like depression and anxiety make for good explanations of someone's behavior, but the person who is confronted with a partner predisposed to these illnesses ought to carefully think for themselves whether they are okay with the proportion of their needs that this partner is able to fulfill for them. Also, having a mental illness that still leaves your logic and empathy mostly intact means you still have the responsibility to act considerately towards other people's feelings. Up to a certain degree of disease severity, I think it's not an excuse for behaving at the emotional maturity level of a 12-year-old and feeling entitled to other people constantly forgiving you while you don't work on yourself. (I only talk about these two mood disorders because I don't have experience with any others and barely any with personality disorders). Speaking from my experience, many conundrums and crises of depression and anxiety can be handled by communicating openly, vulnerably (with discernment) and both partners having a solution-oriented mindset. Of course, there always are different situations, so it's certainly wise to assess them on a case-by-case basis.

Thanks Helle

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

I am the same fool I am here

My new mantra is- If you don't want me I won't let myself want you ❤

Thank you, Hannah!

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Alex! Hello my dear man! Well I’m happy to know that you were interested in someone. That’s a very good sign and I’m even happier to know that you extricated yourself from a dead end situation. That is brilliant. I’m proud of you. Sending you a big hug from the other side of the pond

Robert., thanks for that. I wish I knew this 20 years ago

Hi are you doing any better now? I’m in the same situation and I do t want this anymore.

@@vinyassa44 YES ! It’s taken some time but I’m getting better

Reham, you entered in good faith. You believed what you were shown at the time. Who wouldn't? Had your lover not been good at reeling you in, you wouldn't have moved toward them. So please forgive yourself. You gave it a shot based on the information you had at the time. When we know more, we make new choices. As you have, by moving on

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

excellent!

love it. thanks dominic

Hi Michael. Glad that it worked for you

I recently watched a video that explains the neuroscience behind this quite excellently, it was on Brianna McWilliam's channel. She very convincingly illustrates just how much emotional rollercoasters are like slot machines, and I'm saying this as a neuroscientist myself :) It helped me feel less self-conscious and less like it feeling so awful was somehow my "personal shortcoming". Understanding this helped me finally cut ties with that one friend that had been giving me mixed signals for ages but, whenever asked, always said they were not into anything serious, and then promised to never do the mixed signs again...which always lasted until a few months later. Thanks, but no thanks. My mind deserves strengthening nourishment, not weakening addiction.

@@blueblackhusky ahhh that’s crazy because I’ve been watching her videos too! When I understood my attachment style & his it all made sense. He’s an avoidant & im anxious lol 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have to look for the one you’re talking about though.. I hope I find some of that peace.

I’m so happy to read this. Thanks Scott

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

Oh I’m so happy to hear this! You know I’ve just realized that it is not available in every country. We are trying to get the statistics on some of the changes as to where it’s offered. I know here in the US it is good and then I heard Australia and the UK work with the link. I’m so happy that you got something out of it and thank you for sharing this with me

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

YESSS!!! It was very strong mixed signals that have had me in this debilitating loop for over a month.

Thank you!

Thank you Catherine the great!

I love reading this. Thank you

There are! Remember to always respect your boundaries and make sure to pace a relationship

@@SusanWinter thank you 🙏 find your month ago when I was really down …on KZfaq was lifesaver ❤️ I listen lot of relationship experts. Love Your style the most. Feel like very close friends know all the key notes with no judgment whatsoever!

+2349015122652⏮⏮⏮⏮ Hello it's v works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break up..***

thanks DJ