Thanks so much for these thoughts!! (And for the kind comments as well). But yes, I hope bringing in the science might help people in the academic world be more open to depth oriented approaches!! ;)

Aasaiuyhgifuui

The science helps the depth psychology come out especially with so many people using heavily manualized approaches with traumatized and vulnerable populations.

Couldn’t agree more. I’m a big fan now!

I find it really difficult to think abstractly, so the scientific aspect really helps me a lot. I want to heal so badly but I take a lot of things literally or the wrong way and then don’t know what to do. Thank you for making these videos!

Thanks Matt!! I appreciate your watching and commenting on my videos! ;)

Hey I agree. I had to stop my IFS therapy because it was too expensive. I've been spending time with Tori's videos because I feel they explain the model much better than the IFS Institue's videos. I love IFS as well, and these videos are super helpful. Thank you Tori!!!!

So glad to hear this! And to find this video + this specific comment thread. I’ve spent years of learning inner child concepts for healing & recently learned about cPTSD & IFS through an interview with Dr. Jacob Ham who has an equally amazing way - calm & loving too! - of explaining brain science related to IFS & parts. Then I found Dick Schwartz’s work & am reading No Bad Parts now. I’ve been looking for an IFS informed therapist & suspected that $$ would be a barrier as most don’t accept insurance (single, living on a limited income & returning to school late in life). I’ve benefited from community support in other parts of my life & have been thinking that a network of support groups for folks wanting to gather with each other in weekly in-person or virtual meetings would be amazing! Say a lay-person IFS support group that reads, discusses, shares about how PARTS are feeling, & maybe using the IFS workbook. I’ve been searching MeetUp.com but so far just a few in my area are led by people who want to monetize their limited new epiphanies re: IFS. My idea is a totally free model of likeminded, dedicated folks wanting to heal & grow & share. Many of the readings & talks on IFS put a fine point on how important it is to do this work in connection with others. As has been mentioned here, the therapist model is great for those with insurance or money to afford it. So many of us are not in that boat. The barriers are huge. Now I’m excited to continue listening to these videos & learning from Dr. olds. Wishing you all a good journey + some love to offer to all of your parts. 🌻🌱💫

im looking for an IFS therapist in bosotn area

Thanks so much, Stephen!! I really appreciate your saying so! ;)

@@DrToriOlds awesome!!! Thank you 🙏 I finally understand and now can read Swartz’s book.

Exactly!! Yes, if we worked so hard to get in a grounded, clearheaded, compassionate space...why not use it to do our own healing work first?? Thank you for the comment ;)

​@Dr. Tori Olds could it be that some people are just dysfunctional and deficient? What if their parents were truly amazing?

Oh, I'm so glad to hear this!! Wonderful! Thanks for letting me know! ;)

@@DrToriOlds thank you!!! And thanks again for your videos! I love your channel. ❤️

That's fantastic! ♥️♥️♥️

Oh, you're so welcome! Thanks for the kind comment! ;)

This is the combo working for me too. (CPTSD)

Yes...so simple and yet so profound!! Thanks for the lovely comment!

Yes! So true💚

is it working

Hello how are you doing today?

Thanks Scott!! I appreciate YOU! :)

Thanks so much!! Appreciate your consistent support ;)

@@DrToriOlds You're most welcome 🙏

Yeah, the point your making here, about the complexity and also individuality of how people interface with and experience their own mind is really on point. Even the idea of a 'part' of course is a little reductionistic (even though often we have to simplify reality to usefully engage in it), because there are all sort of 'neural nets' processing tons of information and at play at any second...and so it really is a subtle and interwoven and complex domain. So it makes sense that different people might experience (or even get benefit from) the idea of parts very differently. Thanks for making this point...

Glad to hear it! Hopefully this video will help with what you are looking for: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hd9mn7BpvJmaY4U.html

Oh, that's great to hear! Thank you Able! I'm really trying to get more content recorded so I can get on some sort of regular live stream schedule or something...so it's definitely my intention to have more engagement on youtube...but might be a few months out! Sorry!!

Thanks for responding Tori. I have watched 1 live stream. Any idea on when the next one may be coming?

Internal Family Systems

Agree. Need to see this in action. This could be a combination of role play based on tapes of sessions, or on actual sessions with lighting to hide the identity of the patient, and with the patient's consent of course.

I really appreciated reading this and, in particular, your sharing about the positive aspects of blending. This has been one of my obstacles in fully embracing IFS. (It's fine because I don't really ever fully adopt anything but it does trip me up when I do try to dig deeper. It's off-putting.) There seems to be a hierarchy created where the "Self" is superior to these other parts and the goal is almost to convince them that they're not needed when, in fact, I have found them to be a great resource and to constantly push them aside feels completely wrong. As someone who has been hijacked by my parts in triggering situations (and only recently "discovered" this), it seems even more vital to be able to validate, access and call upon them so that I retain that blendedness that includes my "Self." In fact, the more I'm in communication with them, the more I'm aware of their need to be included in my definition of Self as well as my need for them in order to be a whole, genuine, and dynamic "Self." My periodic interest in delving further into IFS since I first came to know of it has actually been in the hope that this was the ultimate goal but it never quite feels that way.

For me, I thought about my final aim doing all this. Most of all I‘m searching for real Freedom. I used to get hijacked by old traumatised fear feelings/ parts and wanted to end this. Another part acted like a protector and was highly perfectionist-like, putting me under A LOT of pressure, compensating for little self esteem. Other parts were fighting each other causing a lot of confusion. When I found them all, talked to each one, even found quite a few child states/ parts, it was so much better and peaceful! I would totally support blending and would for example never leave my child alone in a safe room. It was good to have it there when I worked with my Trauma. But later I realized that my child didn‘t want to stay there! I follow my very own instincts here. And I realized that my parts want to be together!!! For me my current best aim is: find all troubled and protected parts and heal them and take care of them. All parts should like and respect all other parts, which includes a lot of inner work and talking, bringing pairs of parts together and check how they feel towards each other. They really should know each others strengths and weaknesses. And every one should respect all the others. Even seemingly weak parts do have great qualities, like empathy or deep thought or sensitivity, took me a long time to like that. After a while they literally formed like a circle, looking at each other, knowing everyone, and really promising each other Support. Yes, sometimes they still quarrel… . And they can grow together and share Information. I think the best thing is that I have a full range of behaviour Choices. Protectors still act as protectors, but for the best of the whole community, which often means adapting for them. Discipline for example ALSO got the new job not just to work, but to check with energy levels and take care of getting enough rest or play time for children parts and in the end to take disciplined care for energy for everyone 😀 For example: when I play improvised theater my child comes out with so many colorful associations and non-linear thinking. I always get asked how I get so many ideas. When I need to do bookkeeping for my business I need my queen, her endless discipline and checking everything three times. Sometimes I need to defend myself, I let my pirate do this. Lately and to my own surprise, queen and pirate fused together! Their images connected, now the queen has a pirate hat and looks somewhat wilder than before !! Wonder what that means to my future behaviour in the outside world…. Lately I am looking for and collecting maternal energy and behavior cause my child states were looking for more of that. I asked around with the higher-self-ever-compassionate-watcher energy who wanted to learn that. To my own surprise, pirate-queen is now doing that! She was always my main and biggest part. I wonder, when I get my children parented well enough in the future and will be ready to mourn trough some pain from my past - an ongoing but healthy-feeling process- will they grow up inside? I don‘t think so. I think they will become wild and free and happy and even sometimes roll around inner (and outer!) lawns and fly together on my Pegasus. Together with queen. Yeah, sounds strange, but that is my inner picture for life energy itself. GREAT part, that one, look out for it 😊👌 Found it in a phase of deep Depression tethered in a very narrow stable and freed it. It literally got me from quite the depression to childlike joy in a few weeks back then. So who am I in all that? Well. Everything. The watcher. The parts. Their weaknesses and strengths. Wonder what happens next… Good energy to you all.

@@thenellierose I hope that I don't lose my parts. If I can keep them around, I will never be lonely again.

Have you read Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul? He talks about this very thing you are asking. Great read.

Oh wow I have the same major physical issues GI and migraine. They happen to be worse now and I feel miserable physically which makes it so damn hard to function and the older I get , will be 60 in a month well, it just scares the crap out of me cause I isolated as a coping mechanism among other things.

@@Grungefan2018 Do certain things like stress cause them? Are they telling you something.. I recently moved to Denver and it sure seams like my GI is telling me how unstable this environment is..

@ David Black : parts are our different personalities in our "internal family system". See also voice dialogue therapy & disowned selves. Hope you find this answer satisfies some curiosity.🍁🌻🦋

David, you could ask the part in question whether it is holding the deep anxiety or whether that comes from a different part. Parts generally will give you the answer. One scenario could be that a protector is sending the message "Oh no(...)" because it notices an exiled part (underlying trauma wound or bruise) being triggered. The protector could fear that triggered emotion of the exile (younger you), and then could become anxious about it and send you messages or make you do things. Another scenario can be where two parts are polarised (opposite strategies, for instance), which causes anxiety and exhaustion for a third part. These are just examples. Other possibilities exist as well. Your own system has the answers! Good luck.

@@sophiamosecoaching1784 that’s really helpful, thank you!

No, more just how one part can reject the other. If we are in our full, authentic self, the impulse is no longer to reject or blame, but rather to help to heal with compassion. So we are actually wanting to move AWAY from what is demonstrated in this image (although the image shows where we often are)...and away from the idea of ever needing to 'reject' or 'get rid' of any part of ourselves, even our inner critic. Hope that helps!

Interesting point!

@ Erik : maybe read or listen to a few IFS or calming prayers or meditations, here on KZfaq. Also peer support warm lines in the US are good. Here in Australia we have lifeline, which is 24 hours. Tel : 13 11 14. There is also men's line. Sometimes a real life conversation helps you scrape through another day. Too many are alone too much because of bad experiences. Also, local college may have free or low cost therapy (conversation) which may be another way to talk to someone for a short time. This world is not easy. Acknowledge your strength in persevering despite the hardship.

Two books helped me a lot: Janina Fisher's "Healing the Shattered Selves of Trauma Survivors" Her approach is a someone what simplified version of IFS. Brené Brown's "Daring Greatly" is about shame and vulnerability. This one is very good if you are a freeze/fawn /flee type, and shame is a big part of your problem.

@@dartcree8185 thanks for sharing 👍