You're welcome!! It has been a powerful idea for me as well. Being forced or out of control or not able to protect one's self...there's about nothing worse a human can go through.

Thanks for this comment, Heather, and for the nice feedback!! Wow, I totally agree with that last sentence you wrote, and what a lovely way to capture such a deep truth in a few words!! What you said is actually my favorite topic to teach on!!! I literally spend half my time thinking about exactly what you so eloquently said--about how during difficult moments the child (well at least in an attachment context), turns to the parent not only for protection but so they can fully 'process' (and thereby integrate') their experience into their unfolding map of reality, using the parent's support to sustain them in being able to witness the distressing experience (while at the same time being reminded they live in a world where there is love and connection) long enough to learn from it (ie learn to accurate locate the dangers as well as resources, and hold them side by side). Anyway, I could go on and on... But yes. I agree ;)

@@DrToriOlds Sus wink

I'm so sorry to hear this. That is so heart breaking. I hope you find some sense of return to your old self...

That sounds so traumatic for your whole family :( if the British government had a penny for every person they had traumatized they would have all the money in the world. Wait I think that’s how they got so much money. I hope you can find get healing for this awful experience

That sounds so traumatic for your whole family :( if the British government had a penny for every person they had traumatized they would have all the money in the world. Wait I think that’s how they got so much money. I hope you can find get healing for this awful experience

Great points!! I assume you were responding to the above conversation on the terms? (with Fred and Yume)? But yes, I agree that it is easier to be 'sympathetic' to a big event trauma cause we can wrap our head around it, whereas the more chronic wounding that happens day in and day out often have an even deeper impact on our sense of self and the world. I appreciate the post!

You're welcome!! :)

You're welcome! ;)

Man, I'm sorry to hear that. I really wish you luck and some degree of empowerment on your journey with this...

Wonderful! Thanks so much! Let me know how it goes for you ;)

i finished the course today .. i feel like i need to rewatch the vids again to squeeze every bit of helpful information out of it , and i look forward to get the attachment trauma course from your website i wanna thank u cuz your work helped me a lot to understand how transformation work .. and u helped me to discover IFS which changed my life and the life of my clients ... i love what u do and i'm one of your superfans

That's wonderful to hear!! So glad that IFS (and the course!) have been helpful to you!! Yay!! I really appreciate your letting me know ;)

Thanks so much for saying so! Blessings back atcha! :)

@@DrToriOlds Dr. Olds you truly bring a digestible understanding to what happens to a lot of us and thus making it easier for us to heal and move forward.

Awe, thanks so much for saying so!! Sorry I'm only now having the chance to respond! ;)

I'm sorry to hear that. It sometimes takes a few tries to find a therapist who will actually be able to help, but it is worth the search...

Thanks so much Jody!! Really appreciate it ;)

You’re welcome!! :)

You’re so welcome! :)

Great question!! It's interesting, because of the first three comments this video received, two (yours and another's) were about this distinction. That really surprised me, since it's just something I haven't given much thought to--just holding it as a way to highlight that trauma doesn't have to be from a single "big" event. Do you mind if I ask a follow-up question? Is there a reason that the distinction bothers you? Does is come across as saying that small t trauma is a 'smaller' issue? Or diminish its impact in some way? Given that someone else asked this same question, I wonder if this is the case? And if so, I might think about acknowledging that in future videos. This particular video was drawn out of a training for therapist, who probably do need to know the language (since it's used in the literature), and honestly might not have even considered that smaller events (if chronic) can be just as harmful to the nervous system. But perhaps I should lean into using other language...like 'chronic' versus 'single event.' Or is it less the language and more simply having a distinction that seems unhelpful? My guess it's the language. And maybe that is worth changing, given that 'big T' trauma should absolutely not be given primacy. If anything, the opposite. More often than not it might be easier to recover for one 'big' experience than a repetition of experiences that create an 'unchallenged' view of reality internally--because that's just how it always is (or was). A shaming statement from a parent may not be a big deal if it happens once, but if it happens every day, or every time we express vulnerability (as an example)...there's no way the brain isn't going to 'learn' from that. Anyway, thanks for your comment and I'd be curious to hear any further thoughts on this subject! Or if you think I'm understanding you correctly...

Hey there! I just wrote a long answer to Fred (above), but thought I'd paste it below here too, in case it spoke to your question as well. I'd be curious to hear back from either one of you guys! Great question!! It's interesting, because of the first three comments this video received, two (yours and another's) were about this distinction. That really surprised me, since it's just something I haven't given much thought to--just holding it as a way to highlight that trauma doesn't have to be from a single "big" event. Do you mind if I ask a follow-up question? Is there a reason that the distinction bothers you? Does is come across as saying that small t trauma is a 'smaller' issue? Or diminish its impact in some way? Given that someone else asked this same question, I wonder if this is the case? And if so, I might think about acknowledging that in future videos. This particular video was drawn out of a training for therapist, who probably do need to know the language (since it's used in the literature), and honestly might not have even considered that smaller events (if chronic) can be just as harmful to the nervous system. But perhaps I should lean into using other language...like 'chronic' versus 'single event.' Or is it less the language and more simply having a distinction that seems unhelpful? My guess it's the language. And maybe that is worth changing, given that 'big T' trauma should absolutely not be given primacy. If anything, the opposite. More often than not it might be easier to recover for one 'big' experience than a repetition of experiences that create an 'unchallenged' view of reality internally--because that's just how it always is (or was). A shaming statement from a parent may not be a big deal if it happens once, but if it happens every day, or every time we express vulnerability (as an example)...there's no way the brain isn't going to 'learn' from that. Anyway, thanks for your comment and I'd be curious to hear any further thoughts on this subject! Or if you think I'm understanding you correctly...

@@DrToriOlds Hallo Dr.Tori.. Personally i think like that because trauma is/are not one size fits all memories that resulted from deep unpleasant events that happened to certain individual level that somehow give long lasting impact to affected person (ex. Trauma because of disaster, intergenerational trauma, vicarious trauma, trauma because of early adversity abuse, etc). So if that trauma concept or modality itself have to be differentiate between Big T and Small T...doesn't this kind of discriminate ( unintentional and undirectly) how traumatic event holds meaning to change or turn upside down individual life story and also about how they experience their trauma...about how the meaning of they survive from their traumatic experience?

Yes you are right and i agree with you about language matter. I mean how to use language in trauma field and mental health field in general is really important because its communicate about the importance of the context. If this issues do not addressed correctly..i m afraid this also can influence dynamic between client and therapist. Since therapist also human being that maybe still have unhealed traumatize part inside themselves and client is in vulnerable state. Thank you for your kind reply Dr. Tori Olds ... you are the first clinician that answer my question about this big T vs Small T..also all of your contents are always so informative and eye opener as a psychoeducation purpose. Iam so glad that i've found your channel😊.

Oh, thank you for saying so! And thank you for your honest engagement and feedback. I think this is really important that a few people have left comments about this term--and I am really taking in that it might be unhelpful labels!! I agree that language matters, so this is very important!! Thanks again!

Thanks so much Irna!! Appreciate you saying so!

I think so many of us are scared of ourselves…and yes, if you had psychosis that would make matters so much worse. But also I’m so glad you have as your mission to learn to NOT be scared of yourself. It’s kind of like if you had some wild animal living in your back yard and you could either neglect it and live in fear, or really begin to slowly built a relationship with it where it could be your ally, or at least peaceful neighbor. I think the three things we feel most often are confusion, fear, and shame in relation to our inner mind. So learning how to understand, organize, relate to, and then finally love-our mind is the key. And skills like mindfulness, self-compassion, and parts work, can really help…

@@DrToriOlds hm. parts work? otherwise thanks a lot on the advice!

Sorry, I think you forgot to mention what you were referring to as being traumatic or not...

Excellent 🙏

You're so welcome!

Haha!! Glad you liked it!! ;)

Thanks so much!! My plate is actually very full at the moment, but I'm curious what you meant by collaboration?

Maybe an interview in english on my channel or text based on my blog to let italian people know about these new findings

@@Ciskuss I'd be open to that depending on the timing! ;)

Thanks Roshan!! I appreciate you saying so! ;)

Okay, shoot...if I say somewhere that it 'is' an event, I probably slipped up. Yes, it is associated with some type of event (the traumatic experience or traumatic event...or series of experiences in a chronic sense). But trauma itself is the impact those experiences have on our nervous system through changing our felt sense of reality. Most powerfully, the trauma (see...I did it again...I should have said the 'traumatic event') 'teaches' us that we have no power to protect ourselves, which in turn leads our nervous system to be either overly on guard, or conversely, shut-down. It is the opposite of an empowering experience, which allows you to feel settled in your own capacity to deal. It takes away your sense of empowerment, leaving you feeling vulnerable (hence the impact on your brain / body as an adaptation to this vulnerability). Hope that helps!!

@@DrToriOlds I learned something from you today. Thank you :)

????

That’s a good question! I’d like to know her viewpoint on this.

i think so

Yes. I think you could certainly have trauma symptoms after watching something very disturbing. It doesn't mean you necessarily will...so many factors would come to play--how old you are, whether you feel forced to watch something, whether you felt like you could get away, whether what you were watching stimulated older trauma and was actually 'retraumatizing'. In fact, someone had such an experience, they might explore inside whether their strong reaction had to do with actually feeling re-traumatized, or like the images were forcing them back into the memory of any old trauma scene. Or alternatively, perhaps it shook something deep within them, like faith in the goodness of humanity for instance. So many reasons something like this might be negatively impactful, and understanding the reason might be helpful to some. Or at least giving their brain permission not to remember the images--like seeing the t.v. screen and taking out the VHS (old image, I know), and locking it in a drawer and then in a closet. Thanks for the interesting questions!

Does ASMR stand for something? ;) (I'm not great with my acronyms).