As someone who loves a person with BPD traits, watching her destroy the relationship, then panic about it, and then force me to stop communicating, was heart wrenching in the extreme. I had no intention of abandoning her, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.
@Tortasan Жыл бұрын
I'm in the same position as you.
@jclanda265 Жыл бұрын
I saw my ex destroy our relationship by leaving the house intermittently not even telling me or our son where she was; and this after 25 years of marriage….she was afraid of being abandonned by me!
@briannadeg Жыл бұрын
My mom recently abandoned me just before my birthday and it’s been really hard. Thank you. I don’t have a family that loves me or cares about me.
@boldi2337 Жыл бұрын
I am there for you ❤️
@homebrandrules Жыл бұрын
i,m in a similar situation, i hope you can find people who are of genuine compassion, caring and understanding, for me finding an organisation where i volunteer has helped me to find such people. ALL THE BEST
@Crocodonkey Жыл бұрын
I know how you feel, because I live alone and feelings are hard to manage, my problem too is lack of social support. I currently rely on medication to go through this phase that seems would never end!!😑😑
@Simba923 ай бұрын
I'm watching this with tears down my face. You get it. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and my fiancé and best friend (also mother figure) both left me within a year of each other. The last seven months have been hell. I had to go to the hospital in a psychiatric unit for two days because the abandonment from both people back to back was too much. Your video has really helped and is calming me. Thank you for understanding the chaos of having BPD and truly being abandoned. - Laura, 31 from New York City.
@stewart25173 ай бұрын
Jesus! Hopefully you’re doing better? I think more information needs to be provided to all people on mental illness. I’ve lost relationships due to my illness. We can’t make them stay, all we can do is move forward and keep the illness in check the best we can.
@Simba922 ай бұрын
@@stewart2517 Thanks for your comment. I can’t say I’m doing better but I’m trying to be productive with this pain as best as I can. I have reasons to stay alive taped on my bedroom wall and the people in my family would be forever destroyed if I were to kill myself.
@theredqueen69115 ай бұрын
My loving bf of 6 yrs took out the trash Sunday morning, made me coffee, then got up and told me he was leaving. Left me alone in the house afraid for my future. So heartbroken. Both had bpd. One abandoned and the other was abandoned.
@Tailionis Жыл бұрын
Abandonment from friends, lovers, constantly rejected. I give up
@BasedGodEmperorTrump Жыл бұрын
My mother left my brother and I at a homeless shelter when my brother was 9 months old and I was 11. We were taken by the state. 3 months later she died. I've had abandonment issues most of my life. I was with my ex-wife for 12 years and a majority of that time she was adulterous. I took that as abandonment, too. Since I divorced her, I've stayed in hermit mode the last 4 years. Yes, I was diagnosed with BPD but I'm tired of being hurt.
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing, we’re here for you!
@JoeMushrumski Жыл бұрын
I don't really have a support system. My now ex-partner whom I love so dearly left me recently. I don't really have any friends anymore. My oldest daughter will check in when she can. My therapist went on sabbatical. I can not find a new one. Insurance sucks and cash is lean. I'm essentially alone. I'm barley holding my nose above the murky waters.
@aussiemom3559 Жыл бұрын
Congratulations on your new title! You’ve worked hard and contributed positively with each of your videos. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. 🎊 🎉😊
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
Thank you! 😊
@bluedropsofglass5957 Жыл бұрын
I just found your content, yesterday, and am really enjoying the way you present your information. You are so calm and well spoken, and have excellent communication skills! I also find your voice to be soothing, so that's a nice bonus, bc sometimes I find creators who present great information, but their voices grate on my nerves, for some reason, & then I can't make it through the videos.. 🤦♀️😬🤷♀️ Anyway, I mostly just wanted to comment that I really like how you explained which DBT skills to use, here, & in what general order. Thx for the clear, no nonsense approach!
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this ☺️
@kalvinwhite733 Жыл бұрын
Great video as always.🙂 Really glad you did a video on this topic right now. Since New Year , the topic has been affecting me very badly . I was exceptionally close with somebody, but they're no longer in my life. Falling apart in many ways not and going from internalising emotions isolating from friends to emotions seeping out and oversharing. I hope there's some light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe as you say it's just about letting yourself feel so get through it. It doesn't seem like there's an end right now and somone said " you should be over it by now" . I'm not ,but hopefully it'll work out somehow . So thanks for making the video anyway, it's helped a bit.🙂
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
Of course ☺️
@victoriag332 Жыл бұрын
I found your channel recently and have been watching a lot of the videos. They are incredibly helpful and relateable. I'm interested to know if you might consider doing a video relating to possessiveness/jealousy in romantic relationships?
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
Yes of course!
@covidoffАй бұрын
A strong support system for someone with BPD is usually a bunch of enablers who keep their distance for the most part whilst feeding into the narrative when needed. I guess it does its job in terms of emotional regulation but it really just keeps the person with BPD from facing that they need to change in order to heal. I've had the unfortunate experience of witnessing all that and it disgusted me.
@purplefinch296 ай бұрын
all my pain has come from real abandonment - being cheated on, left at random, etc. i don’t get triggered with friends so much - just romantic partners /men.
@LiamFranklinFarang Жыл бұрын
How do you politely let someone with BPD know that they aren't at all what you're looking for in a partner while making sure they know that they're still a worthwhile person? I'm finding it hard to convey that I'm only interested in one girl, and that girl isn't her. The thing is, I know it's just part of the BPD and that she doesn't actually want to be with me, because we're polar opposites in terms of what we want in life and a life partner. I've tried being her friend, but she doesn't seem to accept that. I really don't want to hurt feelings but I'm finding it incredibly hard to explain that.
@LiamFranklinFarang Жыл бұрын
Also this woman tried to destroy my real life with a smear campaign and tried to cost me my friends. So I feel like offering friendship is actually incredibly generous
@alluneedislessthan3 Жыл бұрын
I think being honest and setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with a person who has BPD. I would be clear and focus on the hard facts of the situation, mostly that you don’t want a romantic relationship with her. That is a boundary for you, and if she tries to violate that boundary, you should establish what you will do in response to having your boundaries violated. Maybe let her know explicitly that if she continues to try to date you or sabotage your other relationships, you can’t be friends with her. Ultimately you can’t control how she takes it. Compassion and understanding go a long way and are great, and it’s really great that she has someone who is willing to hear her out and cares about her, but ultimately protecting yourself, being honest, and setting boundaries is what makes for a secure relationship. Don’t bs just to make her feel better. As someone with BPD, I’d rather someone be straight up with me about the hard limits of the relationship and deal with those feelings than constantly feel like I should push for more when the person doesn’t want me to.
@LiamFranklinFarang Жыл бұрын
@@alluneedislessthan3 I appreciate the response, and I'm not sure she even wants to be friends. I think she's created an idea of somebody who doesn't really exist in reality. She's infatuated with an idea, less than me. But I mostly say that I don't think she wants to be friends because I continuously try to set boundaries and preconditions to talking, namely that she stops listening to people who think they can mind read and listen to what I'm saying instead. But she refuses. So makes me think she's more interested in the person her friends told her I am, compared to who I actually am. Actually I think it did me a favor, because after they told her those things she turned on me completely. And if that's all it takes, good riddance. But I do want her to know that somebody out there will love her. Just maybe don't turn on them because of untrue rumors
@LiamFranklinFarang Жыл бұрын
@@alluneedislessthan3 genuinely, thank you for your insights though. I appreciate the response from somebody who has BPD
@alluneedislessthan3 Жыл бұрын
@@LiamFranklinFarang that sounds like a complicated and familiar situation. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. Relationships with BPD can be really tough. Be sure to take her boundaries into account as well. If she doesn’t want to be friends, then that’s her decision to make. Ultimately you can’t make someone want to be your friend, even if you care about them a lot. Unfortunately sometimes parting ways is the best way to handle the situation. If it can be worked out, that’s ideal, but sometimes it can’t be and unfortunately that’s how it has to be sometimes.
@skylerbaize Жыл бұрын
How do I get a credible diagnosis? I have no idea if I actually have BPD or not, but maybe I do… 🤷♂️ My dad had it. The environment I grew up may have been a breeding ground for it. My ex wife just left me and I feel like it was/is my fault 🤦♂️ I’ve always had good relationships with people in general, but my ex wife is also my first and only official GF. I feel like I resonate more with the Quite BPD, like yourself. Lately other relationships have been strained though and it’s largely due to my poor ability at coping with the loss of my ex wife and me continually blaming myself.
@onthelinecommunity Жыл бұрын
You can get a credible diagnosis through a licensed psychologist
@skylerbaize Жыл бұрын
@@onthelinecommunity is it just by a Q&A session with them?
@charlesbromberick4247 Жыл бұрын
It was IMAGINATION that did me in.
@ani-ma-tion5326 Жыл бұрын
My boyfriend told me that tomorrow we would go out on a date night, the next day I got ghosted. For months. No explanation, nothing. He abandoned me for a screen, to become some pathetic streamer. All I ever tried to do was help him be a better person, fill him with Love, tell him I would never leave his side no matter what. And he said the same too, he lied to me. I found out he was being a degenerate on Twitter which he said he didn’t have. I feel so betrayed and hurt, I thought things were getting a little better. Then he does this? We were together for 3 years, and he threw me away, for a screen.
@jessicaselenecenteno Жыл бұрын
You move on with life like you normally would. It’s that easy and simple 💁🏻♀️
@ricardowatkins6437 Жыл бұрын
'Promo sm'
@Invisibility397 Жыл бұрын
My internal criticism is sounds like... "Useless & Worthless Waste of Human Flesh" or "I have had far better ideas then ____" yet due to a Frontal Lobe Collapse at 2 wasn't my fault yet this created a Primary Psychopathic INFJ-T. Psychological Abuse from my older brother from day 1. Emotional Abandonment from my 16 yo mom and finally the big dumb drunk animal (dad) started his severe physical abuse at 4 years old. I was 5 years old when he attacked me while I slept. Pier ostracizing in 3rd grade. On the 5th day of fourth grade the teacher brought me to a small room in the library effectively isolating me from every one. My dad started his drunk animal act every weekend sometimes every other weekend with yelling Life or Death and he ment it. 11 years old I was forced to love my hammer. 31 out of 42 years I have been isolating myself living in solitude. I know that I do not belong here and my only need is to go back home. Therefore I will patiently wait for my final moment alive. I hope nobody else has had a way better life than I have been surviving and I believe that it is best if I continue to live in solitude and celibate. I do understand that I am far beyond any healing. Plus can one miss anything they have never experienced? As I wander through the Stillness of the Vast Nothingness only to experience the Silent winds of time within the Void my Auratic Field creates shielding me against change. I accepted Father's request to become a Lost Soul. Enjoy your Eternal Journey. Ancient Magus Sommoner 5th Gatekeeper Cazer Int. Your imagination is your limits What you focus on happens Reality is what you create Blind Faith, anything is possible By activating all Chakras you will shine brighter than the Stars All Glory to Father, Lord Thy God