My mom is a psychologist. I texted her about the poop in pants dream and her response was that it's probably a manifestation of anxiety. Not poop related anxiety, just anxiety in a general sense, but also possibly time management related anxiety.

seans extensive knowledge of the spice girls was a pleasant surprise

Said this once, will say it million times again. Makes me so sad to see and hear two of the most heartwarming, funny, talented and sooooooo hard working people feel so shitty about their work and feeling like they're not worth it. Breaks my heart 💔 In fact that bad audience is only a minority of all those who are watching and most of us are truly supporting you and your work, thank you guys for being here, ✨🙌🏻 Sending lots of love and warm thoughts, and especially to Ethan, hope to see you come back soon 🫶🏻

my depression looks like a volcanic landscape, super flat, no life, dark storm clouds forever except a dimly lit sliver of horizon in all directions. there's a black hole at the center that sucks me back into it during the bad times, but when i get spit back out, i'm always on the move away from it, toward that dim horizon. it's tiring and feels ultimately meaningless, but it truly is the friends you make along the way that give it the meaning. for every thing that happens with good people, those dark clouds get a little lighter, that horizon doesn't look so far away. keep going. here is some LOVE, take enough flame to light your way, and pass it on. we'll make it.

He finally got a tattoo for Sean’s Dad! Love the shading and detail! Very steampunk vibes! 💡🖋️

was about to go to bed, nvm

Depression feels like what I imagine the closest thing you can get to locked in syndrome, without actually experiencing it, you know? I'll be in bed, screaming at myself to go shower, or eat, or drink some water, and I just lay there, blank face. Or always being half asleep and over exterted, lots of brain fog. I think Ethan's ocean analogy fits how I feel more so than the sand, but I think struggling to keep handguls of sand DOES feels like my anxiety

5:03 "All spice" if I may

it’s storming super bad where i am and i’m scared, the company is really appreciated. thanks boys!

I'm not a certified dream analyst - but I think it means you're afraid of losing your shit, Ethan.

depression feels like digging a hole and standing in said hole waiting for the wind to bury you alive

Depression is like a baloon tied to a basket trying to fly, but rocks keep getting added to the basket.

Sean, you should play Celeste! It's a game about depression and other mental issues, not to mention the beautiful visuals, sound, music and level design! You'd enjoy it so much!

31:56 "What does depression look like to you?" Omori represented it with a white space (emptiness/isolation) with a single black (unlit) light bulb (which is a funny coincidence considering you just got a light bulb tattoo), symbolizing "the repression of an idea" (the opposite of a lit bulb). There's also the "black dog" metaphor, which uses the color black as well (representing darkness/sadness/emptiness).

33:41 that's literally what "addict with a pen" by tøp is about basically. Tyler literally raps about trying to keep water in his hands while treading through sand, and the sand slows him down and the water drains.

“Not me ready to fight people for trying to break down Ethan. You’re wonderful and we love you exactly as you are” my wife ready to throw down for a stranger lol

I've struggled with depression for such a long time and the "you're about to cry but it's not happening" is so fuckn accurate Like you're in the middle of TV static. There COULD be sound and picture but it's just a bunch of nothing

Awesome ep bois! I'm a SAHM with PPD, and it's so comforting for me to hear KZfaqrs and "popular people" talking casually about depression shit. You guys are the best! I love this podcast; I watch every ep! Answer: I describe depression as 'heavy,' like my entire body is a mountain, but I have no choice but to move.

Ethan! Donner Pass is the one you're thinking of where people ate each other to survive. I grew up near there. Fun fact there was a group that got stuck up there THIS PAST WINTER because they refused to listen to NUMEROUS warnings that it's closed and not safe. I never followed up to see how that played out but I'm going to assume that they were rescued well before cannibalizing each other.

D.B. Cooper would be the modern-day heist equivalent of the LockpickingLawyer

ETHAN!!! I luv ya bro!! Remember anyone who leaves you a shit comment, is just venting their own bullshit on you. And I'm so sorry that they do that to you, or anyone! But you GOTTA know, that you are so fuckin loved homie g! For WHO you are, NOT what content you make!! Take your break darlin you deserve it! We will ALWAYS be here. But stop letting other ppls negative BULLSHIT in, because you have 10 times more people that love and respect you then people that don't. Luv ya broskers! 😁🦄❤️‍🔥😎😼🙋

big respect for being so open about mental health and depression, it helps in so many ways

Reference to my FAVORITE episode of my FAVORITE show made my autism go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

There's so many ways to picture depression but it definitely feels like being stuck in a bad storm in the middle of the ocean and waves are just crashing around you. You're trying to stay afloat but you also know it would just feel better to give up instead of having to fight at the chance of survival. Other times it feels like being dressed up as a mime or something in a crowd of people. Everyone can kind of see you are different and that something is wrong but you just can't say or do anything about it, and neither do they. They just kind of observe whatever show you choose to put on and walk away when they feel too uncomfortable with the obvious silence. I'm lucky enough that these days, I've overcome the majority of my depression but for a very long time it absolutely consumed me and made it impossible to appreciate being alive and being in control of my thoughts.

as someone who used to be allergic to peanuts (i only got rashes nothing life threatening therefore my body adapted as i grew older) i feel bad that ethan will never get to enjoy reese’s , i tried my first one at 18 and it was amazing

1) I started watching the Happy Wheels Movie and I gotta say, I don't think your accent has really changed all that much. Your voice is just a lil deeper lol 2) I had a discord server take that 12 question personality quiz. I didn't tell them where I found it. But they all agreed it was a very neurodivergent quiz (we're all incidentally neurodivergent in that server). And after, when I told them that I found it from this podcast, someone said: "I had the pleasure of informing Ethan once that I knew him as 'the skinny little white guy from Paranormal Detour' and I could see him questioning all his life choices as he processed that 😂" Like geez, why did you think that was a good thing to say?! But then I remembered she's like that with everyone, because of her brand of 'tism😅

I should be asleep cuz I have school in a few hrs 😭

Can't believe no one said Pumpkin Spice

Look forward to these every week!! 😢. Love you guys 😘

Ethan. You are doing fantastic. I never leave many comments because I would hate that feeling and causing it in someone else. But I'll try harder to leave positive comments. Because You are doing incredible, genuinely. Of the podcast alone, each episode has been hilarious and honestly heartwarming, your guys' conversations are lovely to be privy to. Keep going at your own pace, sirs. PS. I am an artist and could love. love to be your guy's sketch artist, I have always wanted to try that, I think I'd be good at it. Also my depression is like a heavy ass backpack that i can never take off. And I also hate daylight savings. I feel like Abed in community, screaming as they turn the clocks back.

I really hope the bois never stop doing the ad reads. They're the only ads I don't skip

39:27 "I would like to do a D&D campaign if it was just me and the DM" As a D&D fan, that's an answer I've been waiting forever to get. It's absolutely possible to run a campaign for a single person (those are called one-on-one/duet D&D). Matt Colville also has a good video on the topic, titled "One-on-One D&D, Running The Game". Something the DM might do is introduce a companion character, to give you a bit more survivability. The only thing you won't get is the part when you're debating ideas/plans with the rest of the party about how to solve a problem, but playing solo is still better than not playing at all (so I'd love to watch a one-on-one campaign, if that's how you wanna play it).

I genuinely love you both so much individually as KZfaqrs. I only wish the best for you both and I love both of your content and this podcast so much. 🖤

Love the new tattoo it looks so cool Sean and great episode you two like always 💚💙

Brain Leak Day let's go Leakers and seeing Sean got a new tattoo looks awesome and hearing Sean and Ethan laugh made me laugh as well

Been looking for a distraction, this came in clutch 😌

I hope one of y'all gets to go on Last Meals soon. 🙏

Women are just built different when it comes to pain tolerance. It's not even like we don't feel it, we just have more practice with having to live with it. Especially with a tattoo, you know exactly when the pain will stop. You just gotta wait it out 🤷‍♀

yooo my dad works at boeing and no the guy didnt quit he got fired as he was the general overseer of production so all the blame fell on him for a poorly done job "overseeing" and no one got sucked out, it was a phone, the plane was still ascending as well, so it was only at like 13k ft, also the phone survived that fall onto pavement and still worked lol

this is my favourite podcast! ❤

1:04:11 I live in Arizona which is the only state in the U.S. (as far as I’m aware) that does do daylight savings. We just change which time zone we’re associated with during the year. So some times we’re PST and then sometimes we’re MST. It’s so nice 👌

This one got a bit real. I wanna send you guys a virtual hug! You boys make my week all the time! Keep being you!! 🤗🤗🤗

The DB Cooper just reminds me of my recent obsession with barrel making (by coopers). Barrels have no adhesive! and it can take 8 years to fully learn the cooper profession. so cool. 10/10 would suggest watching videos about it

OMG I never thought I would hear someone mention the Office Linebacker. My dad showed us that clip so many years ago and we've been quoting it since.

I saw some other artist draw their depression as a super colorful and happy world with them in it, curled up in a ditch, void of that color.... and it just really resonated with me

Early leakin in the morning!

Dream analysis sounds fascinating.

There's a lot of ways I've described depression. Like drowning in an ocean but not knowing which way leads back to the surface. A colossal beast that drags you down and whispers things to you. Feeling like sisyphus but the rock gets heavier. Like never ending falling. A completely silent building that's entirely empty and everything is just out of reach. My body but all my limbs are stone. Those are just a few thing's I've uses to describe depression.

My dad's favourite joke when I was growing up was to answer the question "what time is it?" with "it's time to buy a watch"

Idk dude, i never watched ethan in the early years of his channel, but i really enjoy every new video! I feel like he aged like fine wine, sean (and mark) too. Love the podcast so much, guys!! Thanks for another great episode

thank god 😭 i was getting worried

Very interesting to hear other ppls interpretations of depression. It's probably based on personal experiences but I never thought about how other ppl viewed it. Depression for me has always been more of a sensation/sound rather than a visual. It's like a deep hum that gets louder and louder but you feel that vibration more than you hear it.

OH MY GOD, I LOVE THAT MOVIE, BOY HOOD, AJHJ IT MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME

OPPOSITE OF SCARY IS CUTEEE

My latest tattoo was a wizard toad on a mushroom. I love the frog tattoo idea

Last meal & spice girls 👀 We're in for some chaotic & philosophical leaking, can't wait to dive into this week's topics. Danke for sharing, Hope everyone is doing well. Stay Leaky Bros 🧠 😎 👊

i have chase dreams all the time, but never really connected them to my anxiety on my own- that makes a lot of sense lol I'm glad I'm not the only one

Db Cooper stuff is the most entertaining there was a channel I used to watch that did a bunch of stuff on DB Cooper and they 😊thought that their neighbor may have been DB Cooper and it was so entertaining. I made a whole club about it when I was little.

i’ve been sick since monday so i enjoyed bingeing happy wheels: the movie over the last couple days. mainly as background noise as i slept. but thank u for the awesome joke haha good comfort for sure

Omg 😱 Ethan’s hoodie ❤❤❤ 😅

I am at 8:21:19 now. Not sure why yet. Not nostalgic, because I got into Sean's stuff after the green hair. Guess it's just interesting to see where it all came from!

To me, depression looks like the color in everything is desaturated, everything is covered in a layer of fog, and it feels like I'm not even in my body, like I'm barely even conscious.

Awesome job jack and Ethan with the podcast drop a like .

6:07-6:09 TIL THAT TOO! I didn't even recognize him!

(to the tune of ‘Antihero’ by Taylor Swift): It’s leak time, Seàn McLoughlin and Eef, At leak time, It’s my Wednesday morning therapy, (drink top of the morning coffee, everybody let’s leak), I stare directly at the screen, can’t get enough of these weirdos, It’s never tiring, listening to my two heroes.

depression, especially for me on days like today, feels like every step takes moee energy than it should. everything i do, by pushing myself to get it done, feels like a waste of time and energy despite also knowing i wouldn't be doing anything else otherwise. i need to do the dishes. but the energy it takes to do so is a lot. and on the bad days depression is. drowning in escapism. emptying everything from my head and just Consuming instead. youtube, fanfic, etc. have all been my escapisms for years. hello my escapism 👋 the good thing about podcast youtube is i can step away from the screen and not rly miss much because its just talking. so thank you boys for helping me be a bit more productive. :]

Terry Tate is incredibly funny 😂 My dad put some of his videos in with his PowerPoint presentation on how to behave in the office 👏🏻 it was a success lol

Early leak video today, welp not sleeping tonight

A beautiful birthday gift :)

Can someone please illustrate the new Spice Girls, I need to see what it would look like!

I would absolutely love to see Sean on Mythical Kitchen's Last Meals series

I’m in desperate need of my milo. And have a headache from studying. Thank fuck to you guys for saving me from the pain of being a senior.

Honestly when the ad for nord vpn started and Ethan was talking about people stealing his information, i fully thought they were gonna stage a whole fake kidnapping for the ad 😂 I was like THATS WHY HE’S IN A CAR 😂😂😂

I also just got a tattoo on the same place Sean did, and... like... yes, it hurts so bad

I tattooed my stomach, five hours, it hurts like hell, but my face was just '-' because I was so focused on just finishing it that everyone thought I was fine when in reality I was dying

All I could think of when Sean said a frog with a cowboy hat, is sheriff toad from ban ban 😂

Typically not one to comment, but I've never been this early lol. I hope everyone has a amazing day/night. Enjoy the ep

super early today, lets go leakers

The rumor come out; does Sean is wrote a book? 😂🎉

There's already a Sweaty Spice, in Spice Boys from All That. Along with Hairy Spice, Mumbly Spice, Spice Cube (formerly Burt Spice) and Dead Spice. How could you forget them and their hit that topped the charts, B is for Boy?

I think D B Cooper is Charlie Moist White... because he SAYS he's deathly afraid of flying. But I think he just doesn't want people to make the connection of him on a plane

Gonna sleep like a baby now 🫂

Therapists must love this podcast

Devil bershiper. I'm dying

As an elder millennial, I was obsessed with the Spice Girls lol. Spice World is a fantastic film. BTW Happy Leakday guys! Wednesdays are the best days. 🧡 I think my last meal would be sushi 🍣 😋 as a fellow person who cannot have peanuts, I love all the alternatives but man are they expensive haha.

Terry Tate office linebacker is quite literally the greatest ad campaign I have ever seen and my family and I have it memorized and have quoted it for years

Depression for me is just floating through the endless void of space and just accepting that I’m there but at the same time trying so hard to get out

The conversation about your last mean makes me really want you guys to be on Last Meals with Josh from Mythical Kitchen. Like individual episodes of course.

I've only had one depressive episode, but I still remember what it felt like. If I had to deal with that on a daily basis, I think I'd describe it as a fog or mist constantly surrounding me. Sometimes you get a glimpse of a clear path ahead, sometimes everything's obscured. And the fog mutes everything slightly, not just images but sounds and thoughts and even emotions. The moments that it's clear in front, you dare to think you're through it, but the fog follows you wherever you go, and it'll take over your worldview again in some random interval.

ngl that whole segment about the story of creation, that's got some deeper theology than anything I've seen.

I’ve never heard a better analogy for what an panic attack feels like/is. Because, yeah, my brain does know that this isn’t real but every other part of my body says “let’s destroy all of your relationships.” Im being hacked

my depression is like being strapped to a chair in a dark room with water leaking on the floor. it’s the absolute inability to do anything, being trapped right where you sit with no way out, with nothing to do, so i just sit in the chair and seethe. but the whole time you can hear drops of water hitting the floor and it’s the most irritating thing in the world bc it doesn’t let you drift away. you can’t stop thinking about how you’re trapped in the chair and you need to get out but you can’t.

29:23 I've always wanted Venusaur across my entire back

Does anyone know what episode Ethan recreates the dune Wonka meme where he goes "ladies and gentle man my name is PAUL..!!!!

whenever i think of depression i always remember what i thought i looked like. a person in a messy bed covered in blankets surrounded by flies.

The energy at the very end... 😂 Fuck you Sean old man! Love you Ethan lil bean ❤

I'm glad I'm not the only one to have those thoughts about other people. Sometimes we're main characters and sometimes, were NPCs.

Good Morning Leakers! OFFICIALLY THE 1ST COMMENT. After my grandmother passed away I went to get a tattoo of a penguin on the back left shoulder. Penguins were her favorite animals. This year I'm hoping to get a sunflower in memory of my cousin on the back right shoulder, and updating my pawprint tattoo on my left chest with a halo and dates dedicated to my chihuahua that past away May 8th of last year. To me depression feels like you're having a normal life but the inner child in mind is constant crying. My last meal would be a ham steak, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, Ben & Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, pineapple upside-down cake, and a can of Dr Pepper

Only going to be referring to panic attacks as my brain getting hijacked now and forever

Sean, put DS 1-3 in a playlist where they play in order. That works plenty fine enough! Not enough creators make their own playlists for little stuff like that. Most people do the main stuff cause KZfaq will sort some of it into playlists, but the small stuff is often left by the wayside.