I'm a victim of extreme parental alienation. Since the age of 4, potentially even earlier, I was tactically used by my father as a weapon for revenge against my mom. I was brainwashed and manipulated into hating my mom, stepdad, aunt, and grandmother. I idolized my father as any young boy would and he used that to his advantage. He would plant seeds into my head to make me doubt them, he told me every negative story he could remember, he'd make fun of them, and blame them for everything and I went along with it. I didn't know any better. I remember an instance when I was 4, my father had dropped me off at my moms apartment and when we got there I ran and excitedly gave my stepdad a hug. My father called me over and scolded me saying something along the lines of "he's not your father, I am. Don't do that". This obviously left an impact on my extremely young mind and I rarely ever showed affection towards my stepdad again. Another time, my father told me a story about how my mom went to jail for shoplifting. Looking back it's obvious he's trying to paint my mom in a bad light, but as a young boy who doesn't know anything, I viewed my mom differently. These are only a couple of examples out of the literally countless times I've been told negative things about ,my mom and anyone that had to do with her. This pattern of manipulation and brainwashing happened until I was 17. As I became more aware of what was going on I finally lost it. My father dropped me off at school one day and in the middle of the office I exploded. I yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs, years and years of anger and frustration were erupting from me. Soon after that day I cut my father out of my life. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows however. Thoughts of being a bad son invaded my head of years after, I was scared to go to stores near where he lived, and he would stalk my social media accounts. Even going as far as getting his new wife and her children involved. They would all constantly try to reach out to me, it was a nightmare. I just wanted to move on with my life. The day before my 20th birthday I ran into him at a Dunkin Donuts near where he lived, my fear came true I guess. We had an exchange and one of the first things he told me was "I can't sleep because of you". I'm speechless just reliving the moment in my head. The conversation was a disaster. He gave me a few hollow apologies while I was crying a river trying to explain how bad he hurt me. It's difficult to put into words how I felt growing up and how I feel now as I'm still processing things, but I'll try my best. I was terrified of my father, terrified. I was constantly living in fear of what he'd do next. He was violently angry. I would get screamed at and scolded for little things, he would hit the table and the walls, he would throw things, and he would scream at my stepmother. I was a sensitive child and this effected me deeply. As I got older I became numb and angry. The sweet boy I used to be was gone. I was angry, depressed, anxious, lonely, and hopeless. I've never told anyone this but I had thoughts of suicide quite often. My grades suffered, my motivation suffered, my social life suffered, my self-esteem suffered and so much more. Being an only child, these experiences were amplified because I literally had nobody, this was my "normal". All of this because my father used me for his own selfish game, to get revenge on my mom. Now I'm 23 and these experiences still effect me and my relationships with family and friends. I still feel angry, depressed, anxious, lonely and I hate myself sometimes. I'm tired of feeling like this though so I'm finally looking into therapy and I really hope it helps. I see a lot of parents in the comments and I wanted to say I'm sorry this is happening to you and I truly hope it gets better for you and your child/children. A child is so fragile and it's a shame anyone would do this to one, let alone their own. Do whatever you need to do to protect them. If you're a child or young adult reading this and going through something similar, you're not alone. I hope that through reading this/watching videos you're able to understand that this behavior from a parent is not okay or normal. This is not your fault. Please feel free to talk to a teacher, a school councelor, or a friend. You have power in your voice. I love you

"Unending grief" is a good explanation of what I feel. I feel like I am a grieving parent because I see parents with their kids and I cannot be happy for them. I feel like I'm grieving a child that is not dead and that this will never go away. I used to be a teacher and adored being around them and helping them as a mentor. Now I can't even look at a child without being on the brink of tears. It's a torture I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy.

After many years, you end up emotionally disconnecting. It's a huge pain, long term .. and quite frankly there is often very little you can do about it. I have no credibility as a parent in the eyes of my children .. my son even got physical and made my nose bleed. Several years later I got into another relationship and moved, no longer having a bedroom for each of my two children. This was also following the advice of my parents who I now know did not have anybody's interest in mind. My boy was devastated, and I believe my daughter was too. These alienating parents need to go to jail

This was a breath of hope for me as a targeted parent. The only advice you get from law enforcement and lawyers is 'just wait until your kids are 18 and you can see them'........I have 4 children under 9yrs old. Thankyou for some hope and for validating the situation.

That knock on the door is such a powerful image. I’m a grown man and it made me tear up. I too was alienated by my ex. It was so hard. All I ever heard was how horrible I was. She had her attorneys send email after email, and motion after motion, all full of lies stating how harmful I was to the children. The courts believed her, and in time the kids did too. I came close to walking away so many times. I know many men who did. Unless you’ve been there you could never understand. You’re told you’re bad for the kids so many times you start to believe it might be true. You start to believe they’d be better off if you disappeared from their lives. When my oldest turned 16 he shocked me by asking if he could live with me full time. He had finally saw things for how they truly were. We’ve since grown close again, but it breaks my heart that he will hardly speak to his mom anymore. She not only robbed our son of a relationship with his father as he was growing up, but she also robbed him of a relationship with his mom for the foreseeable future. I still cry over it.

Thank you!! I’ve been telling people this about my son! His hatred for me isn’t even normal for an abused child!

Going through this now with my 15 year old daughter. Severe case and yes I feel hopeless and completely heartbroken. What’s worse is the courts don’t recognize parental alienation and appointed guardians are not trained to deal with alienation, typically making decisions without any history of the family

Five alienating parents disliked this video. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I do give it a great Like 👍🏼

I can’t think of too many hells worse than the hell of parental alienation. It’s absolutely devastating. 😢💔

I wish we had found this many years ago! My husband was a targeted parent for many years and his kids were alienated to varying degrees. This video hits home when it says one of the most painful things for the targeted parent is that they are helpless to protect the child from the maltreatment being inflicted by their other parent. It was so heartbreaking to watch my step kids run right into the arms of the parent who was manipulating them and hurting them by telling them their dad didn’t love them and was just trying to control them. What kind of parent tries to convince their child that they are not loved by the other parent? A very insecure, immature and sick one. It’s so damaging to the child! A healthy person would never try to convince their child that they are unloved OR that the other parent is undeserving of kindness, love and common courtesy and respect. Healthy parents want their child to grow up to be a loving and respectful person. As his kids have matured and/or become adults, my husband has been able to forge better relationships with 3 of his 4 children, and it’s a testimony to the resilience of his kids, but it’s my perception that some of them still struggle sometimes with internal thoughts that he doesn’t love them or loves them only conditionally because the brainwashing was so severe for so many years. Some of his ex in-laws even seemed to buy into the lies and distortions and the kids were/are very close with them which made the alienation easier to perpetrate.

This video is gold. So spot on with the symptoms and conditions of this syndrome. There needs to be a lot of education regarding this especially in the court system and for attorneys to use PAS as the means to bring justice. Thanks to the speaker

The “smear campaign”, began by my then husband, when my children were young. It took me far too long, to see how damaging this was to them, and also, the longterm, ongoing toll it would take on our relationship. They are adults now, but are still closer to him, and require no accountability of him, while wanting me to account for every aspect of my being. I love them, want/wish the best for them, but am more interested at this point, in my own well-being. I’m almost sixty, and it’s more than time for me to live for myself!

This is all true and I see it in my son and it's so sad, heartbreaking, it hurts so much he is being subjected to this abuse. It hurts and I am currently going to court for my son and daughter. It really is the worse feeling of helplessness to protect my kids. My son shows all of the behaviors, he would say "I am scared of you". I wish I knew of this years ago to be able to prevent this along time ago.

As a longtime high school teacher, and also a victim of parental alienation, I can only give Dr Amy Baker an A+ on what a fantastic presentation she has put together... And she's got a lot of other great videos as well!

I thought this might have been possible before but after seeing this I am blown away at how many of these behaviors my children are exhibiting. This may have just saved my relationship with them and helped me understand the best approach to take moving forward. Thank you SO much!!

Each and every one of these describe my son who has been alienated from me x 2 years so accurately, it’s scary.

“The knock was proof that he loved her.” Oh god I’m tearing up so bad Edit: it keeps coming in waves, I can’t imagine how her dad must feel, I hope they got back together and he didn’t feel like roping himself when he learned she never expected him to stop trying

We need more of this knowledge in Colorado. Seems like a game to these alienators and that's the disturbing part. To them it's not about the kids, it's about getting revenge on the targeted parent.

UK social workers need to watch this!

The time that has been taken from myself and my daughters were stolen.....it was stolen in the evilest of ways and right in front of me. Over the course of 4 years I watched as my children’s love and my role in their lives was diminished piece by piece. The legal system betrayed me in ways that I just cannot describe, my ex wife turned me into a visitor and not much else, I hope like hell that I can change something about it someday

Thank you Dr Baker for all of your hard work, dedication and research. Every family law attorney and therapist needs to see this.

This video helped me so much. It let me know that I am doing the right thing by continuing to show my daughter all the love I can. The other day she was talking about not having any good memories with me so I brought out the photo albums, and left them for her to look at. She told me she only saw bad memories and didn’t remember ever having fun. A few days later I took her to school, and I always hug her and kiss her goodbye, but this time I just said I love you have a good day, and she stopped dead in her tracks and said well aren’t you gonna give me a hug and a kiss. My heart broke right then and there because I knew right then that my baby girl still needs me.

As a parent targeted the best advice I can offer is to find peace and move on knowing someday things will get better. You still have a life to live! Be happy!!

Thank you! 😭 This was hard to listen to but it sadly rings true. C19 has definitely made this even more difficult. I just miss my kiddos.

I wish I would of watched this video year's ago. I at first thought it was something I was doing wrong. I couldn't understand why my kid's couldn't see how much I loved them. It's too late now my kid's are grown. But I hope this helps other's who are going through the hell of PAS.

Thank you Dr. Amy. I can't thank you enough. I have been living with this for years. Praying for a relationship again with my adult children.

Thank you Amy for your clarity and engaged research for all these years !!

I am happy to see that this professor understands that we must first rule out estrangement before we can call it alienation. This is extremely important, because its often the case that the child has a very legitimate reason for rejecting a parent that has nothing to do with being coached. However, what we are seeing in courts is that they are generally terrible at making this distinction. In practice, what is happening is that the abusive party claims that the protective parent is "alienating" the child and that this is an explanation for the Childs negative behavior. Rather than the abusive parent's own behavior. And in many cases, judges are awarding custody to the abusive party under the pretense that they are protecting the child from alienation, when there was never alienation going on in the first place. It's absolutely crucial that judges are not overlooking perfectly valid explanations for why a child is a rejecting a parent - whether that be abuse or prolonged absence from the home. Alienation should be the absolute last resort from a diagnostic standpoint, but unfortunately many courtrooms are overlooking evidence that would disprove alienation.

Step 2) the absence of abuse or neglect needs to be clarified. No parent is perfect and alienators will exploit, distort and exaggerate any moment like that to create justification and practitioners, as it is represented here, will rule out alienation on any basis like that. Statements of abuse need to be scrutinized fully and all of the other telltale signs of alienated and aligned child still need to be observed. Parents who are undergoing relationship difficulties will not be at their best and where there is an isolated incident, it can easily be twisted by a skilled alienator into abuse especially as they distort and exaggerate everything they can over the entire course of the targeted parents time with their children as they catalog every misstep they can use. *Edited Hopefully the differentiation of behaviours between alientated children and abused children are evaluated before step 2 is considered. Not even justified rejection takes place naturally. This statement from Understanding Parental Alienation explains that: "Children do not choose to lose one parent freely and willingly, but must be persuaded to do that over time or through serious emotional manipulation that forces compliance" Not even a truly abused child will reject a parent without manipulation. Any rejection of a parent is a red-flag that a form of alienation has occurred. Alienating parents can implant memories, distort and exaggerate actual events and otherwise align children under the guise of justification. As an empathic targeted parent with a positive relationship with my children and my realization of my wife's PTSD, from events unrelated to the marriage, which in turn exacerbated her narcissistic personality disorder, my children have been overpowered by events which, at the time, had little negative impact on them and certainly would not and did not cause any kind of rejection. Rejection of a parent should be seen automatically as parental alienation which always presents as justified.

I use this video now all the time if I have to explain Parental Alienation to someone. Thanks Amy!!!

8:52-9:00 BINGO BINGO BINGO!!!!! Simple terms for simple for simple folks!!! This is my new saddest, most realest statement I will be using in the immediate future for many to try to grasp this!!!!

After listening to this I can’t believe there is a consistent science to this abuse; I got the 8 behavioural manifestations. All. And had my own terms to explain it but wow. 😢

Best presentation about parent alienation that I have ever listened to. Thank You so much Take care of yourselves targeted Parents, you're not alone

I appreciate the time and energy you all have devoted to providing these videos on alienation. the information you all share and present in these videos helps me find understanding and some degree of direction in finding possible resolution and resolve.

Thank you for all your research and time in this area, alienated step mom here and it's a relief to know there are people out there who understand and care

Thank you so much for this clarifying and validating presentation. I am so grateful. How I wish I'd had your coaching 40 years ago! I reacted emotionally to cruel unjust accusations and looked like the crazy one. Can't undo the past. Courage to all alienated parents!

Bryana A. ( Bree ) Peters of Arizona. Emp by the Arizona Humane Society Sunnyslope Campus. Born 10/6/96 in IND. Your real father will always "knock on your" door as mentioned in the video. I have faith in your warmth and compassion.

Thank you for the wisdom and effort put into this video. I am alienated and estranged with my mother, and it's such a relief to hear a compassionate woman's perspective and expertise.

Living this. After divorce with a covert narc/narc in-laws. Your work is helpful. Thank you.

Yup. My son is a victim of this. I have absolutely no doubt after this video.

I spoke with Dr. Baker today, thank you for posting this.

Wow, this entire segment brought our so many emotions and I was shocked at the end when she talks about how you try to prove to your child that the college fund (I was accused of touching) was never touched was a negative aspect. I tried so hard to protect my son who is now 19 (he was 14 when the divorce started) I didn't talk about the divorce and withheld how we were losing the house etc but it made him more angry. He yelled at me saying I hide everything from him and treat him like a child where his dad shared everything with him and kept him involved in every aspect, which made him feel older and treated like an adult. I told my son that I just want him to enjoy his childhood and school/friends and that school is hard enough to deal with and that the burden of the house and bills were for the parents to worry about and take care of. But he would tell me that dad already told him this or that and it blew me away why would my ex share things like this with him. When my ex would discuss thing in front of our son I would ask him to talk to me in private but he said no and that he needed our son to be a witness as to what we discussed to it wouldn't be used against him. Meanwhile, I sat there alone with no witnesses and why do we need a witness anyways? He laughed at me and our son followed suit. If I cried they would tell me to stop that I just wanted pity-party and how disgusting and ugly I looked and they would leave. My son would get more angry if i cried, so i tried to hold it in. My EX is with LAPD so he can do whatever he wants with no repercussions.

Thank you finally someone frickin understand me . I am finally being heard nobody ever explain PA from a real victim perspective. It makes me feel so much hurt for my child . I tried on deaf ears to beg her dad stop abusing our child. His response I don’t need help he said f therapist shit. It’s destroying me and I feel like it’s slowly taking years off my life. I can hear the pain in my daughter voice and a part of me dies when I hear her talking but what she really wants to say I love you mom and I wanna go home. I just pray for a miracle my ex wakes up before he completely destroy our little girl

Been living through all of this with partners children. It is pure hell.

Thank You for covering the scenario like the Dad who stopped going (no more knocking) - I've so many times thought that maybe I should just stop trying and that if I vanished from their life they'd be happy, because they swear at me, call me horrendous names, keep telling me to die and to kill myself and I have STD's and I'm not a parent, but what's hurt me beyond anything is the false accusations of abuse - that just kills me. The scenario of the Dad has given me the strength to keep trying and not give up. Even when they say those things I still always tell them that I love them and will always be there for them no matter what and unconditionally. Maybe it does mean something to them afterall

Wow the part where you talk about how they come over and apend the entire time in there room talking to the other parent. I didnt know that was a common thing she definitely did do that the last few times she was here!

This content makes a lot of sense, and I'm sure it resonates with many targeted parents, most likely fathers. Glad someone really smart like Dr. Baker studies this subject and coaches people in the hope families can find some relief in such a tragic situation that often flies under the radar. Men, primarily, should drop the fairytale version of marriage they grew up with, and instead, really study what it means to get married (in an age when women don't seem to need men) and have children before they “pop the question,” take their marriage vows, and soon thereafter end up as a targeted parent -- and then likely get fleeced in every possible way in divorce court. Consider staying single and celibate, and enjoy your life as a bachelor through wise career choices; making, inventing, and building things; obeying the law; and helping deserving/trustworthy people less fortunate than you.

Thank you very much for your video. I am the alienated father of three. Girl boy girl. Through false claims my Wife who I am separated from right now. On top of alienating me. Has told my oldest daughter that I was going to rape her. That is so not me. Thoughts of even looking at her in that way never crossed my mind. But in my mind that seems to be a big form of child abuse. Like others I feel the courts are failing me. I have just hired a forensic psychiatrist to help me in this matter. One of the first things she did was put a restraining order on me. Accuse me of fooling around on her. Which never happened. She is hiding with her new lever behind the restraining order. I will watch this video a few more times. To get my mind totally wrapped around all of the information you have laid out. Thank you very much

Very helpful as a Healing Parent and also as a Therapist helping others in this situation. Thank you so much for this super useful information.

Wow this was one of the most helpful videos on parental alienation. Teaches you how to identify the type of alienation and how to help your child and how to rebuild a relationship with them.

Wow, that 'knock' story!!!! Heartbreaking. How can parents be expected to keep knocking without breaking down themselves?!

When Dad was Alienated the children ended with the Stockholm Syndrome and could not leave the abuser side. Even when they turn 30 they all live with the abductor never able to see Dad. 15 years later the one son shows up to talk and I ask him if he was to tell the others he seen Dad. Answer was NO F------- Way as he to would be ostracized and put out on the street just like Dad was. Wonderful!

Thank you for so many points of clarity , and I will now be able to practice to over ride/ let things pass bye not be wounded and I will feel and deal with opportunity's with compassion thank you

Oh gosh this is what I’m going through right now with my ex-wife.

Feel like I'm learning this all too late.

Omg….my son accused me of stealing his college money because his narcissistic step father planted that seed. My son began alienating me in 2015 when I left his abusive step father. My son was 20 years old at the time. Everything you discussed in the video is exactly how my son treats me the only difference is my son was a young adult when he cut me out of his life. Now my son is 27 and still has such hatred towards me. I’m heart broken. My son has done awful things to me just like his abusive step dad. He denies any abuse even though the step,father was violent with my son on numerous occasions. Thank you for this important video.

Thank you for this , it's answered so many of my questions and thoughts . I hope that my daughter comes back to me

I am going thru this right now with my 16 year-old daughter. She fits almost all of the criteria mentioned here regarding brainwashing ETC. She remembers NOTHING about all of the good times we had together and makes up reasons to hate me and adore her step mother, who got custody of my Daughter by lying to the court and manipulating my daughter! I am out of steam and out of money to fight. I had a TERRIBLE lawyer that cost me tens of thousands$$ and did nothing for me. Now my ex-wife is working her magic parental alienation skills on my other daughter. The courts are a crap shoot. Truth does not seem to matter

This is a wonderful video - thank you. Too late for my children, perhaps. But so much validation and clarification on my experience. Thank you for posting!

Thank you so much for this information.

Excellent, 🌺👏🌺 thank you so very much for sharing your invaluable insight. 🌺👏🌺

Thank you, I lost both my kids and I am innocent. They are abused sexually, mentally etc. The father is responcible. I loved them and would gave my life for them. But everything is my fault

Spot on at 1015 mins 👌

Outstanding! Thank you for posting.

you are an angel . keep doing help fot this cause .

I wonder if there is another word/term for this when sibilings have alienated a sibling from the rest of the family? A dominant sibling alienating another sibling and over time ostracization even into adulthood.

I'm dealing with this right now as we speak my daughter is displaying every one of these characteristics I've been completely alienated by her mother it needs to be pointed out how this is prevalent in the black community

I wonder how many children and parents out there go thru this. And what's worse, if the kid is so badly brainwashed that they accuse the targeted parent of abuse when it's not true. How could anyone know if the kid is being alienated or not in this case? And what exactly constitutes abuse? Who gets to decide whether a stressed out parent that occasionally snaps at their bratty kid is being abusive or not? If I'm standing in a crowded elevator and somebody farts could I then say that the person committed abuse to my olfactory receptors? So many questions....

The alienator of my sons and alienators family actually pride themselves on their lack of compassion.

The biggest and most important thing I teach my child is to be considerate, and show empathy, but,without being alienated by a manipulative parent, how can this benefit their future? How to prepare them for these ppl? It is the most heartbreaking experience and I’m currently finding my independent self from the same abuse from an ex. It has motivated me to be ready for court and my requests, I always consider both my child and the father, to enable a healthy relationship for the future and compromise when I feel best, But when they don’t consider vice versa, I have to show evidence but request fare outcomes hoping I am at advantage from having evidence and making my child’s benefit at the no.1 priority.

College bound adult kids still stuck in the alienation. Thought as adults they’d be more independent but regardless location still extreme emotional attached. Rekindled relationships during monetary offerings to ghost the next with excuses the other parent schedule of events keeping any breaks or open opportunities for visiting impossible. Convenient right before court dates offering to see me regularly too no consistency to the communications at all

amazing and incredible watch, thankyou Amy, knocking story beautiful

And it spills over into the next generation, with abuse to the targeted parent from a grandchild too. The signs and bad treatment are the same in a grandchild as with a child. I am living this nightmare of extreme alienation and it is so painful especially as my ex is the ex step parent. Unfortunately in my country parental alienation isn't recognised and it is enabled by the courts. You morn the loss of that child or children. 😢

Thank you

How can we get help legally in a situation where family courts are not recognizing any of this. Reading through these comments just reiterates this fact. Counselors do not want to be involved in the court cases (mine). The worst part is watching what it is doing to our children and like many of us, we feel there is nothing we can do. What can we do to stop this insanity!!!!??? It is almost as frustrating to know this knowledge exists, there to protect these children and bring them back their childhood, yet it is just sitting here on KZfaq, because no one is doing anything about it. Not lawyers, not judges, not schools ...it is absolutely heartbreaking and literally the most helpless feeling I have ever experienced. Unable to protect my child, should I take part and badmouth him, it will only say this is "High-Conflict" bickering. From the "targeted parents" standpoint, it feels there is nothing I can do to stop it. My battle, I have really accepted as bowing out, to spare my son, has been on going for nearly five years, he is seven.

Went through this with my daughter, I guess she would have been considered a moderate. I went through this for 12 years and finally gave up and that’s when my child started reaching out to me. My daughter and I have since forged a pretty good relationship, but I do notice as an adult she seems to be very secretive (at 32) and she only communicates with people when she wants to and seem oblivious to her friends and family when they reach out to her if she does not feel like talking. I really wish I could forge a closer relationship, the only thing I can say is it takes time to work through these issues.

thank you, dear Amy

So how do I get my 23 year old to see this? So much I understand know and know. But because I'm finally understanding I'm trying to help her heal. And also myself. I definitely need your help. I am seeing my daughter after 2 years of barely any contact and I know this is why. I am so thankful for this video. Makes me cry and feel finally heard and understood. I have been in a lot of pain since I was trick into giving custody to her father when she was 9 years old I was told verbally we can always change this but all that was was the nail in my coffin. I know this was done for so long I knew something wasn't right. The was she treats me, looks at me everything. Even messed with my time talking to her at home. So now the normal is not talking much. Waiting until we were together. Then she grew up and the child I once knew is barely there. I want her to see what I see. It's many other things I experienced. Plus now I share trama with my daughter enherited some how. We both really lost a parent at 9. My parent is still alive but dead to me. But I just want more than anything for my daughter and I to heal. I have barely seen her in 3 years. I can tell they use her to hurt me. I realized is this year and deleted everyone that is associated with them. Because I saw they were using my daughter to hurt me. Why it took so long to understand it all. It took me understanding my abuse and where narcissism fell in my family. I have no one these days because if narcissism. It took everything I live from me. Almost 50 and it took that long to understand. It breaks my heart with tears streaming down my face of all the hurt I have been through. The fact that I'm still here is a miracle. I never go anywhere without my dog. Because I have been highly suicidal over everything. I'm learning to open these wounds and try to understand and heal them. Been learning psychology and it helps some. But the hole in my heart has only room for my dog. And he keeps me grounded. I gained 150 lbs when I had to coparent with that monster. It about killed me. But I lost some if it after the last time in a abusive relationship. That where my path of learning of Narcissistism took me. Well as long as I have my sweet dog I keep breathing. You can't begin to understand the hurt they inflicted on my daughter and myself. But most of all our relationship. Which killed her spirit, so now she is in continuous bad narcissist relationships too. So my question is how do I begin to talk to her. She is aware if Narcissistism. But I think they made her think it's me. So I have been waiting years to talk to her. Her healing is all I'm worried about. Thank you for this video it really helped a lot.

Thank you so much 😇

Wow what a great information!

My grandmother tried not only to make my mom hate her dad (my grandpa), but when I was being babysat she'd try to make ME hate Grandpa, too. She told me he was doing black magic, that he was a r4p1st, that he was a p3d0, and that he was a bad man. He was a wonderful grandpa though. I used to sit on the couch with him while he would watch baseball and try to explain to me how to game works. He'd always have a big bowl of peanuts and taught me how to break the shells. He'd buy jumbo marshmallows and make hot cocoa. Showed me how to balance my checkbook. He took us to Disney and had all us and the cousins over every Wednesday night for a pizza party. She hated him so much, anything she could make up about him to stop us from liking him, she'd say. He had a storm closet in the basement with canned goods, candles, matches, and other survival stuff. She told me he did witch craft in that closet, and that he was hiding Satanic stuff in there. 😢 Curious, my sister and I snuck into the closet and found the candles and noticed a packet on exacto knife blades. We wondered if he was using the candles and blades to do some evil animal sacrifice ritual or something 😂. I never fully believed the scary Halloween stories my Grandmother said to me when it was late at night and she had been drinking. If I ever doubted her stories she'd get mad and say I was an evil child. Say awful things about how she saw demons looking out of my eyes. She was always lying to everyone about everyone else. Saying nasty things behind everyone's back. I was scared she'd tell everyone I was demonic. So I loved my grandpa but when she was around I would try not to say nice things about him. She was a good grandma too. But she had such a nasty side. Even till the end of her life, my Mom and her sisters were still scared of her.

What about alienation occuring as a result of narcsisstic abuse where one parent alienates the other parent to conceal abuse????

As a targeted parent, I chose to stop knocking … because I refused to put my son through the fighting. I hoped he would talk to me one day. I would try to visit every other year then every third year now my son is in his 20s and he refuses to listen to me. He has never wanted to hear my side of the story. He has an order of refrain right now so even writing this might be a violation of my court order. Every day for me is spent in misery from the day he was taken away… however I (as a man) remain strong. And I pray God sends some help. I’ve just heard of this “Parental Alienation” and have been searching for ways to regain my defamed character.

My child’s reason for rejecting me: “Mom never takes pictures of us.” Thing is, I did take pictures of them. My Facebook is filled with photos from all the years I raised them and beyond. My kids know this. Yet... I was told I “never” take pictures of them. And this was a justifiable reason to never want to see mom anymore.

She's right. It's been 14 years that I've endured parental ESTRANGEMENT thanks to this hate crime.

How many of the 17 primary parental alienation strategies is the minimum number to be defined as parental alienation?

I can’t talk or see my daughter the courts left it up to her. Which was the courts worst decision because now she won’t see me at all she has the say she doesn’t want her dad mad at her or her step mom I just want to hug her and kiss her and tell her I’m always here for her. I know she know that but will she use it if needed I don’t think so because she’s afraid of her dad! Please god give me the strength to get through this !!

The psychological damage done by a parent who alienates the other parent will carry on well past the relationship with the alienated individual.

I've been wondering how I was going to word everything that you just said in Court representing myself during the custody modification trial coming up. The judge is starting to see that my ex is very good at lying and makes it sound so sweet with her silver tongue, but something just doesn't add up, most things just don't add up . I definitely have the judges attention with all the therapist reports and the fact that during September, October, November and December my boys age 15 and 17 sat in the backseat of my car during my entire Parent Time. Up to 11. 5 hours at a time for a total of over a hundred 130 hours acting catatonic whenever I was in the car with them. After an emergency temporary restraining order asking the court to force mom to allow them to get out of the car oh, now they can come in the house but they still don't acknowledge me most of the time.

Awesome information. Thank you so much

You are so right, but she’s 16 and lives w him, I see her every other week, it’s been nonestop harassment, constant, fighting arguing about little things through the emails, he has a read them, also, you are so correct about how they act when they come to visit. Is it too late to help a team to get close to me, we used to be very bonded, but the courts or they may say she’s a teenager, but I see all the signs of everything they’ve done to me and said about me through her and she loves me very much, but she doesn’t know she is doing exactly how she has been taught. Number two why is most of these videos are about men being eliminated, I’ve going through hell with the court system, the police doesn’t believe me, or her, we’ve been ignored for years, but I don’t see a lot of help for women being tricked into a situation to look bad. Men have been getting a lot of help and yes, I agree a lot of people do make up stories, but no one investigated or no one cared, is it because I’m a woman and so many stories are about women who who took children which they didn’t, or is it because I’m a phone?. question number three is it worth going back to court, I believe another two years is too long for her to live in that house. And we’ve had a hard time getting along. She’s pretty convinced not to come and live with me, or ask to live with me anymore than she already has because we don’t get along.

You described my daughter in some of your descriptions. How do I find someone like her with her expertise?

As the alienated parent and everything, the therapist has described has actually happened with me and my child It feels like he’s in a concentration camp and I can’t get to him and even if I could do will be used against me in court

Man your a goddess, you hit so many points on the head, your a genius.

What about an alienating parent who coaches the child very well to make the child sound genuine in the "abuse" to hide the alienation , coached so well as the alienating parent is highly suspicious of authority and severely manipulative and looking to "outwit" authorities? Where do those children stand, taking into account that they have spent their whole childhood experiencing lack of empathy from alienating parent and had an anxious attachment to them and are traumatised due to their behaviour so are emotionally abused and effected already by the alienating parent prior to becoming fully alienated? Children often run to their abuser in domestic abuse cases when there's no safe alternative, does this play a role in establishing the model used? Also the "favoured parent" now, alienating parent, was not the favoured parent before and caused alot of turmoil for the child due to lack of empathy and mental condition.

That knock on the door will come to be called stalking. Stalking laws are also affecting alienated parents.

thank you for this video

Some amazingly insightful sharings here - thank you for posting this! Some thoughts / questions … 1/ how do you tell if a rejecting child is doing this for legitimate reasons vs PA? - i.e. I have a friend who thinks there is "nothing" her mother could do to make up for what they've done. But in her instance, her mother WAS screwing around behind her Dad's back. (We kicked the Mother and the Ski Club Captain out of the Ski Club because of what they were doing - NOT an easy call in that we all know that life isn't perfect but easy when you consider the ethics and where your moral values lie). 2/ a lot of the examples given are about quite excessive anger / animousity. But what about the insidious aspects that can lead to an injured sense of self-esteem for the child or lead to slight personality disorders later in life? (This is from the perspective of "to raise a happy and healthy adult, raise a happy and healthy child") 3/ How do we deal with a parent who ever-so-subtly degrades the relationship with the other parent? For example: a child given the option to spend time with the non-primary-care parent doing activities that the child loves (drum lessons, archery, mountain biking) and they chose not to because they know that the other parent won't be happy about it. BUT WON'T SAY THIS (possibly because they're unaware that their feelings have been manipulated or that they don't want to get the alienating parent into trouble). 4/ how do we call out the subtle manipulation that leads to children feeling the need to chose between parents? i.e. how do we identify that a parent's behaviour might be preventing a child from making a truly honest personal choice because they intrinsically know that there are expectations from a specific parent? 5/ how do we deal with the underlying (adult / parent) insecurities that result in PA behaviour such as "hey sweetie, it's ok - I'll see you again in a few days" … as if to suggest that going to the other parent is a bad thing. Nothing DIRECT has been stated but there has been a very strong indirect suggestion that going to the other parent is a bad thing. Otherwise, why the need to reinsure the child? Why not just say "hey - you're going to have so much fun! Have a GREAT time and I'll see you on blah-blah"

This problem will only get worse until alienators have to start going to jail. There are no consequences for these bad parents, only rewards. The courts don't know what to do because there are so few psychologists that truly understand the problem. Apparently, you can completely destroy a child's own self identity, no problem, you get full custody and can shut the other parent out. But if you accidentally bruise them while spanking, well, then you're dealing with protective services and your child could be taken away. The vast majority of psychologists consider the Gardner model outdated or in some way misguided. Parents that alienate really like his model and use it consistently.

More than a lil over 2 weeks since I last seen my daughter. I asked to speak with my daughter, when she got on the phone my daughter was crying, telling me I lied to her, betrayed her, & she never wanted to see me again. then hung up on me. Not even 2 mins later my daughter secretly texted me saying, "Don't worry Dad, Mom told me to say that to you, we can still talk, I love you".... That killed me. Brought a 6' 3"/ 300lb guy's world to a complete indenial halt. I know I got proof on that, but do you guys think that'll hold in court?