Performative Bisexuality: Y'all Not Tired?

Рет қаралды 1,567,345

3 жыл бұрын

My TikTok/Twitter/IG: @TeeNoir_
Compulsory Bisexuality?: The Challenges of Modern Sexual Fluidity by Breanne Fahs:
www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/...
www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/1...
More articles I read/videos I watched in preparation for this video:
(Articles):
www.filminquiry.com/film-theo...
/ laura-mulvey-the-male-...
www.studentlife.org.uk/2018-3...
www.dailyxtra.com/girl-on-gir...
(Videos):
• Why people aren’t buyi...
• Video
• Male Gaze Theory in Te...
----------------------------
Hey everyone welcome back! In today's video I'm sharing my thoughts on the media's salacious portrayal of bisexuality/WLW dynamics in the media and how that has affected my personal view of my own sexuality.
Is being bi just a phase?
Can the media's inaccurate portrayal of a marginalized group lead to internalized shame?
Do some women pretend to like women just to impress men?
Watch the entire video and you just might find your answer.
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Camera: Canon 80D.

Пікірлер: 8 100

@hrltdncer 3 жыл бұрын

And being bisexual is a trip when you're constantly being told that "you'll end up with a man anyways"

@NoName-dx1no 3 жыл бұрын

The weird thing is because of the prejudice against bi people, like for example it seems that lesbians have more of a problem against bi girls than straight men themselves they do, just because one group has more of a problem with it. If bi people were given a chance with people of their same gender maybe they’ll end up with a girl instead?

@wells346 3 жыл бұрын

especially dating women who have internalized that thought. "girls are for fun but i can only see myself marrying a guy"

@jessicathompson857 3 жыл бұрын

@@NoName-dx1no I don't thinks that there's more prejudice coming from lesbian women, but instead a different kind of prejudice coming from straight men. Lesbian women will often discount bi women as romantic options because they don't think they are serious. Straight men are often willing to date bi women for the same reason, they don't think it's serious. They don't think that bi women actually love women the way they do men. In their eyes a bi women's bisexuality only exists for his sexual pleasure and is not a true threat to their relationship.

@NoName-dx1no 3 жыл бұрын

@@jessicathompson857 that is also true you explained it better tbh

@GLamoRousCooKie 3 жыл бұрын

@@wells346 Ew. I'm glad I never heard someone utter that sentence in real life cause these hands would've been caught lmao

@tianasprincess5827 3 жыл бұрын

performative bisexuality is the reason people keep invalidating me

@kennedyjojackson1202 3 жыл бұрын

Your profile picture flawlessly fits your comment #tianagang 👸🏿+🐸

@slapto 3 жыл бұрын

Same sis!

@serenity6831 3 жыл бұрын

I think there's more behind those responses from ppl tbh

@sydscircle 3 жыл бұрын

THAT PART

@Jessica-ne5pr 3 жыл бұрын

@sapphiclr exactly! people are obsessed with a rigid view of sexuality and gender; they're going to hold to it and find reasons to invalidate all those who don't fit within it, regardless of what we do. we need to stop begging those people to validate us by vilifying the women engaging in stereotypes

@madeleinep.828 3 жыл бұрын

It annoys me so much how people assume that bi women are actually straight and bi men are actually gay. It's like people think that bisexuality is just about pleasing men.

@bitemeqwertyuiop5691 3 жыл бұрын

For some annoying reason people expect bi people to prove that you're attracted to women 🙄😒

@uraveragenugget2772 3 жыл бұрын

yes exactly!!

@hao9508 2 жыл бұрын

Facts

@maddied718 2 жыл бұрын

You seem educated. Please help me. I think men are ugly af, I think woman are hot, but I wouldn't date anyone for looks, I can see myself dating a woman but not marrying one but I can't see myself dating a man but I can see myself marrying one-

@Splexsychiick 2 жыл бұрын

Well from the video you can see why people think that way. It's still annoying but understandable

@caitlinmontgomery917 3 жыл бұрын

As a bi woman it bothers me when people think that showing girls scantily clad and licking each other in music videos (looking at Dua Lipa and Miley Cyrus, no offence) is bi representation, when in fact it's just making us into a fetish. It's cringey imo. EDIT: Yes, these two women might actually be queer but that doesn't mean other queer women have to agree. Imo it's counter-productive to perpetuate our own sexualisation.

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, its like: this was genuinely subversive and bold once, but that was...quite awhile ago. Now its like these...kinda performances are just the thing to do to be the cool girl. Meanwhile, homophobia still exists, and actual romantic relationships between women aren't taken seriously. Its like we're only allowed to stay, to be represented in a sexy way, if we're doing something titillating for a male audience. Plus then its treated like homophobia is over because we get to be fetishized equally with straight women, so what more could we possibly want??

@Layer03cyberia 3 жыл бұрын

Your sexuality is not an act to please men😭😭😭

@gordonramsayslambsauce 3 жыл бұрын

I don't mind when actual lgbt+ women do that shit because it's their sexuality and they can represent it how they want (as long as they're being respectful to other members of the community) but when straight ass men (usually rappers) have women making out in the back of their videos like it's the hottest shit ever i fucking hate it. You're not representing anything, you're sexualizing somebody else's identity

@tiaflies 3 жыл бұрын

I think Miley is pansexual though

@ZahraFajr 3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely, Caitlin. THANK YOU.

@Japansepuppy2481 3 жыл бұрын

As a bisexual woman, I will NEVER want to “share” my partner-male or female. This idea that bisexual means “threesome” is disgusting

@Youtubeuser156 3 жыл бұрын

that's what they portray in porn sadly :(

@blackheart8665 3 жыл бұрын

I have had this convo too many times, bisexual does not mean polyamorous, why is that so difficult to grasp

@onyxobara5126 3 жыл бұрын

Facts! That’s what polyamory and open relationships are for. And even then, it’s not like a constant porno

@user-kw9pb1je2n 3 жыл бұрын

i wish people understand it more.

@Goetia_rati 3 жыл бұрын

Facts 💯💯💯 like they just downplay us

@shanilsr5320 3 жыл бұрын

It’s so annoying when they’re going through their “rebel” or “bad girl” phase and they somehow connect it to being bisexual... like???

@caroguerra44 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve seen that too and it honestly makes no sense like..... it’s not something to use as a way to show ur a rebel. I don’t understand 😭

@MyFictionalChaos 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think people connect it to bisexuality at all. I think kissing strangers (of any gender) when youre young in college or going thru that phase is pretty risque. It isnt connected to sexuality

@shanilsr5320 3 жыл бұрын

@@MyFictionalChaos When you kiss different people in college you’re experimenting, you don’t identify as bisexual cuz you’re still not sure. Now the point of view I was trying to get across is pretty different,, when artists are going through a phase in their career in which they’re finding themselves or their sound or whatever you’ll probably see them go around kissing girls giving people the impression that they do like women and they same with men, just so that later on, will claim to either be a phase or just for aesthetic purposes. That’s damaging.

@MyFictionalChaos 3 жыл бұрын

@@shanilsr5320 celebrities can experiement as well.

@gabbypaprielaa2313 3 жыл бұрын

@@MyFictionalChaos ofc they can, but claiming it’s a phase, or doing it for the clout instead of saying they were just experimenting is damaging to the lgbt community. People with a big platform that influence a lot of people should speak and act carefully bc they have an audience and people can take it to heart

@willowmarie218 3 жыл бұрын

I've also noticed that a lot of bi woman characters in shows always have shallow, sexual relationships with women and then eventually end up in ""real"" relationships with men

@LA-cm9uo 3 жыл бұрын

Or sometimes the contrary

@uraveragenugget2772 3 жыл бұрын

true

@BiBi-ex1ny 3 жыл бұрын

In most shows the girls would usually have a canon relationship with girls coz the plot is always how they suddenly come out litteraly out of the blue, for example cheryl and toni in riverdale, overall i hate it when this happens tho

@hotgirlshit2035 3 жыл бұрын

Name a few examples

@Zaza-kw1tg 3 жыл бұрын

Can u give an example plz

@megangallagher5463 3 жыл бұрын

I hate how you can’t identify with a non-hetero sexuality without associating it with sex itself. Like I feel like straight people are seen with an innocence that lgbt+ people aren’t given. “Oh you like girls” is never about how you connect with other women on an emotional level. Telling someone you’re a gay man always brings questions about your sexual life. It’s so confusing how having a non-het sexuality is always fetishized, especially to young people figuring themselves out.

@1keico 3 жыл бұрын

Also considering the fact that asexual & alloromantic people exist

@Layer03cyberia 3 жыл бұрын

When I came out in year 7 (lesbian), the first thing I was asked is “so will you use a strap on or do u like scissoring??” I didn’t even know what that meant and it’s not like i would need to at that age😭

@nayussysuccer 3 жыл бұрын

Ikr. It bothers me so much when parents are just having guesses at their child's sexuality and some asshole swoops in with "oomGgg they're just kids! How dare you sexualize them by thinking they might be gay!" It's as if being gay means hard buttsex and vigorous scissoring and nothing else. No romantic or emotional connections, just sex. It disturbs me.

@galuxius1861 3 жыл бұрын

It's kind of sad how common it is in the LGBT+ community too. Sometimes even LGBT+ people themselves will ask extremely personal questions about sex and it's just like????

@autumnevans5991 3 жыл бұрын

@@nayussysuccer and then they give a 2 year old a "ladies man" onesie. like huh. pretty sure that's fuckin weird jan.

@kass2233 3 жыл бұрын

I'm tired of people using my sexuality as a trend.

@zeke7467 3 жыл бұрын

aren't we all?

@EC-yw5hg 3 жыл бұрын

gatekeep much? ofc it’s wrong to fetishize a whole sexuality, but we shouldn’t try to dictate what other people are feeling, and how they’re allowed to express themselves

@Arasie_Saros 3 жыл бұрын

@@EC-yw5hg it's the fact that people are using our label as a trend. I'd understand if they were experimenting, but they're not and a lot of people are doing it for attention. they can express themselves, but fetishing someone and then invaildating them is harmful. if they are into poly sex relationships, that's fine, but when you sexualize and make a fetish out of someone's sexuality. there's a problem. because nothing should revolve completely around someones gender OR sexuality.

@Arasie_Saros 3 жыл бұрын

@@zayna5549 um... what????

@p0megr4nat37 3 жыл бұрын

yess its so annoying

@fbeaz 3 жыл бұрын

please let’s not forget how we also get treated inside the lgbtq community. how many only view us as a part of it when we are in a same sex relationship. that shit hurts.

@reyque 3 жыл бұрын

This!!!

@loladoee 3 жыл бұрын

it seems like we're too gay for the straights and too straight for the gays. us bisexuals need to stick together!!

@imnottheone3911 3 жыл бұрын

Bis should just create our own community tbh

@safala 3 жыл бұрын

@Avalanche _ Idk, both bi erasure and pan erasure are a thing. And us hating on each other is just going to do more harm. It’s like the thing where women hated on women back in the days but with LGBT+ community. Let us all fight for each others’ rights and allow each other to identify the way they want to

@diosawintour1969 3 жыл бұрын

YES!!!$

@dianadriver 3 жыл бұрын

"the second a bi woman makes her orientation known, it's like she's immediately erased as a person, and she's instead viewed as a puppet, who is expected to, on command, prove herself by adhering to this salacious and oversexualized standard." this reaaally resonated with me. thank you so much for this video!

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Someone frame this for real.

@reversemitosis4213 3 жыл бұрын

i wish i never came out cause i feel like it’s all people see in me

@aureliere 3 жыл бұрын

This 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽 my sexuality is not for your fast consumption.

@Xiskx. 3 жыл бұрын

10:34

@annabeinglazy5580 2 жыл бұрын

Or we're liars because we havent "proved" it. I got that from female Family members. And im over here Like, sis, did you have to sleep with a guy First to figure out whether youre straight or Not? Because if the answer is yes, then im Kind of worried what that means for how you engage with intimacy

@kristenthemums 3 жыл бұрын

I will NEVER forget a moment I had in a WOMEN’S STUDIES class in college. We were talking about bisexuality and a girl in class who was an out and proud lesbian said “bisexuality isn’t real, it’s either a stepping stone to becoming a lesbian or a phase.” Like. An adult woman said this and I was so MAD! It was definitely influenced by this trend.

@sirironnerling8480 3 жыл бұрын

Im a lesbian and thought I was bi for many years, and what she said is just disguasting. But I have a friend who thought she was a lesbian until she met a guy and now she identify as bi. But she hates saying that she is because of this trend of being bi. People say she cant be bi if she is with a guy. I get so mad with this trend of being bi it takes away the "special" thing of actually being it. and being a part of the lgbtq+ community.

@jetacysdelights2695 3 жыл бұрын

most of them have been played by straight women pretending to be Bi

@urmom_69 3 жыл бұрын

@@jetacysdelights2695 that changes nothing????? idk why you brought that up. it literally doesnt matter.

@alice-8566 3 жыл бұрын

@@sirironnerling8480 deadass. I know a person who still calls themselves a lesbian after admitting that they are attracted to men sexually and like being with them sexually, but not any other way. And I am bisexual. Like that is the biggest slap in the face.

@Layer03cyberia 3 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ she is no longer part of our community. Walk the plank random ignorant woman!

@yourlittlebrotherGabrielReview 3 жыл бұрын

I hate how they use women as the poster children of bisexuality.

@TeeNoir 3 жыл бұрын

We need to have that conversation NOW

@AG-ej7wm 3 жыл бұрын

That's such a valid point. It's sad that bisexual men are still seen as just really gay.

@jonathanfoster4202 3 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@makesparkzfly 3 жыл бұрын

@god ate my azz bi guys are so hot

@deivyonjackson 3 жыл бұрын

@god ate my azz 😂😂😂 your name

@gvtterslag 3 жыл бұрын

My👏sexuality👏is👏not👏an👏aesthetic👏

@enderphoenix11 3 жыл бұрын

I completely agree, but what about my pink, purple, blue split-tone mood lighting aesthetic tho?

@billiebossanova8095 3 жыл бұрын

@@enderphoenix11 I think the colors are fine but OMG lots of people are like yeah I’m Bi as like a joke or you know stuff like that. It’s so annoying to me.

@enderphoenix11 3 жыл бұрын

@@billiebossanova8095 Yeah, I can see that getting annoying real quick, especially if they're treating being Bi as the joke itself.

@nezukos_bamboo5986 3 жыл бұрын

@@billiebossanova8095 one girl at my school pretended to be bi so she say the f-slur it’s really messed up

@billiebossanova8095 3 жыл бұрын

@@nezukos_bamboo5986 yeah one girl did the same except without the f slur thing.

@clava7851 3 жыл бұрын

”girls are being bi for attention” Me who keeps it a secret: 👁👄👁

@AmazingLifeOfGiselle 2 жыл бұрын

BYE- ME TOO

@neji-blm6579 2 жыл бұрын

“Bi- me too” 😭

@anawithonen5669 2 жыл бұрын

EXACTLY BRUH

@randomxperson.0671 Жыл бұрын

Same. I’ve outed myself to my mom and brother and some friends but other than that I keep it a secret because of the fear of being invalidated with sentences like these etc. or just because it’s not that important for everyone to know in my daily life…

@sunmi2539 Жыл бұрын

Lmao

@defiantgremlin 3 жыл бұрын

I hate that people erase Lady Gaga's bisexuality

@101fly3 3 жыл бұрын

It's very common for bi people to only feel romantic attraction to one gender but sexual attraction to both so I don't understand why people try to erase her bisexuality only because she's only ever dated men.

@themindfulmoron3790 3 жыл бұрын

@@101fly3 Also, your options as a bi woman are straight/bi men which is a pretty large pool and most of the men you can find are straight, or gay/bi women which is a comparatively tiny pool and asking out a woman as a woman is much more likely to end in rejection. This means that, by logical analysis only, yes bi women have a much higher chance of dating men. It doesn't mean they aren't bi. Same goes for bi men.

@eve7522 3 жыл бұрын

@@101fly3 thank you!

@reneelucero2923 3 жыл бұрын

I've seen gay ppl be like "I get Lady Gaga is awesome but can we get someone who is ACTUALLY from the community to represent queer people and not just a straight ally?" and I'm like...stfu

@JeronimoEnt 2 жыл бұрын

Lady gaga, my wife, erased her OWN bi identity by DENOUNCING being part of the community. Watch the episode of RuPaul...Im obsessed with Gaga, but she problematic af

@rosem4ry610 3 жыл бұрын

the fact that when two women kiss its "hot" but when two men r in a relationship or do the same thing, its "gross" ????? like i find that double standard really offensive

@plutoberry6393 3 жыл бұрын

Same 😑

@swty.x_ 3 жыл бұрын

women are oversexualized 😐

@idk-fc9sv 3 жыл бұрын

It's bad both ways though

@neftalicortez2625 3 жыл бұрын

@@idk-fc9sv your right it's still wrong if the roles were reversed

@crappyaccount 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly its literally the same thing going on either way so one can't be gross and the other not. Like I mean if someone is straight obviously they might not find 2 people of their own gender snogging hot but like there's a difference between "unattractive/no attraction/not for me" and flat out *d i s g u s t.*

@NiaBlueEyes 3 жыл бұрын

Gotta love r/niceguys saying 'you're too pretty to be lesbian'. The ignorance is so damn saddening.

@mcpheefan21 3 жыл бұрын

I've had lesbian co-workers and my blood would boil for them when they mention their orientation and an older woman overhears and says "naw baby don't do that. You're too pretty for that". 🤦🏾‍♀️

@nternetrat 3 жыл бұрын

ahhh now i know where that rooted from! all the pathetic lesbian "representation" they've been seeing is of course only with attractive femme girls edit: wait I realized this doesn't make sense lol because then they would think that only pretty girls are lesbians i'm gonna go

@xestien 3 жыл бұрын

@@mcpheefan21 they're too pretty for that. And for that I mean dealing w a heterosexual relationship 🙈😌. They don't exist for a man ew

@alexandriatrenier7366 3 жыл бұрын

I have never heard such buffoonery

@ibattibat5580 3 жыл бұрын

@@nternetrat 😁😃😀😄

@certifiedspacebisexual 3 жыл бұрын

the title: “y’all not tired?” me, a bisexual: i’m exhausted

@egyptrogers4611 3 жыл бұрын

I really felt the "Oh you're bi? Go kiss that girl then!" Like...why do i have to prove myself to misogynistic men who wanna turn my sexuality into something that fits their fetishised fantasy that's created by misrepresentation within the media?

@dio_hoestar_4204 3 жыл бұрын

Normal people: WLW is “Woman loving woman”. Me: Wuh luh wuh

@smolcat66 3 жыл бұрын

Wulti Level Warketing

@queenv22 3 жыл бұрын

bahahaha i thought i was the only one

@AmyAberrant 3 жыл бұрын

For me it’s wooloow

@nternetrat 3 жыл бұрын

"wuhluhw"

@sarahgooey 3 жыл бұрын

yes i always read WLW as "wuluw" and MLM as "mlem"

@alexanderbihn 3 жыл бұрын

I will never forget Jessie J doing all of these interviews ”proudly“ saying she‘s bisexual and a few yrs later brushing it off as a ”phase“ maybe that‘s why her career didn‘t perform as well as before after the LGBTQ+ community called her out.

@Naiya77_7 3 жыл бұрын

But sometimes it’s just a phase though I feel like you can be proud of who you are at one point and afterwards that period does not connect with who you are at present I’m still wrestling with my sexuality and I feel like yeah in the same breath one could say she was sort of pandering but in another you can say she was still finding herself don’t just write it off and talk down on her without the right amount of context because you didn’t even quote what she actually said

@SobrietyandSolace 3 жыл бұрын

@@Naiya77_7 I don't accept this 'wrestling with my sexuality' shit unless outside forces are literally threatening you for it. How the hell do you not know your own mind, it isn't rocket science. You don't need to find yourself when you were right there the whole damn time.

@hotmamma2126 3 жыл бұрын

@@SobrietyandSolace Phases exist. Struggling with your sexuality VERY much exists. I'm genuinely happy for you that you know yourself so well but don't invalidate the struggles of those who don't. People are complex and feelings are confusing even besides any external force

@Roman-bw2fo 3 жыл бұрын

@@SobrietyandSolace girl what...? As a bi person myself, i feel like this is kinda insensitive to say A lot of ppl struggle with their sexualities, like i did for years before i was bi There's many reasons it can happen, and the threat of physical violence from other people is not the only one

@liteflightify 3 жыл бұрын

We do need to accept that everyone has their own thing going on and their own journey. Confusions are real. Fluidity is also real. And there’s many different kinds of fluidity. When I was younger I was more sexually into dudes and more romantically/relationship wise into women. As I’ve gotten older, my sexual attractions towards women grew, but I also became far more invested in my same sex romantically, emotionally and relationship wise. While yes, sociology and phobias and ego are always going to be things that will make an impression on how people present themselves and express themselves. We’ve gotten so caught up in identity politics, sociology, seeking validation and sometimes shaming one another, that we don’t allow each other to be individuals. The manipulative bs, the problematic sh*t and the shock value/culture leeching stuff- all that does need to be called out. But everyone really does have their own dimensions, motivations, struggles and journeys.

@cecijayx 3 жыл бұрын

this also causes a lot of internalized biphobia in the community leading to bi girls/fem aligned folk over-perform their own attraction to women and trying to suppress attraction to men in order to prove to themselves that their bisexuality isn’t just for the male gaze.

@racheljn9781 3 жыл бұрын

literally me right now :/

@mylettucehead 2 жыл бұрын

i exist in a constant cycle of 'am i bisexual or just a lesbian with comphet? or is my constant doubting of my bisexuality just internalised biphobia that causes me to believe I must pick a side in order to be valid?'

@lauragraham170 2 жыл бұрын

I know this is a VERY late comment but... the lesbian community erases bi women also. I never felt I would be trusted by a woman to be faithful, and many lesbians I knew openly refused to date bi women because they would cheat with a man. Being bi/pan is to get erased by both sides. Luckily, I found another bi partner who gets it.

@sunmi2539 Жыл бұрын

@nezumi5678 Жыл бұрын

me right now. at this point i don't even understand if i actually like women or if I'm just faking my attraction to them:(

@wxterlily8222 3 жыл бұрын

i was in a relationship with this boy and i came out to him about being bi and he fetishised it so much trying to make me have sexual encounters with another girl i didn’t even know and said he’d “sit back and watch”. he would try make me comment about other girls bodies for his amusement (which i never did). even said i’m not bi cause “i haven’t done anything sexual with another girl”, having sexual encounters isn’t just being bi, it’s much more about just genuinely liking someone for who they are. he then called me ‘greedy’ for ‘wanting’ every gender cause “i could only get with him”. yeah i left him shortly after that...

@jariyahhh 3 жыл бұрын

wow he needs to educate himself. I honestly hate the people like that :/

@HiBuddyyyyyy 2 жыл бұрын

That is horrible. I’m glad he’s out of your life now, you don’t deserve someone like that.

@lizzyisbored9882 2 жыл бұрын

Glad you left him. I'm in the polyamory community and bi women get this shit from the straight men coming in trying to make a closed relationship with a bunch of girls. A lot of straight couples come in and the man has a bi partner and then they try to look for an other bi girl as a partner. We call those people unicorn hunters and the men in those relationship are like your ex bf but trying too hard for the group sex.

@graceanderson7933 Жыл бұрын

I've been fetishized by men I've dated for many reasons but being bi is one of the big ones My ex thought the fact I also liked girls meant he could have two girlfriends and we could all have threesomes together all the time. I'm not a very sexually adventurous person so I didn't like that idea even though he tried to push it on me out entire relationship. I should have ended it right then and there but I was very young and this was my first serious relationship. Live and learn

@jelliforever8580 3 жыл бұрын

Instead of saying oh "it was just a phase", they should say "I was experimenting" or "I was questioning my sexuality". I feel like that's less harmful.

@MyFictionalChaos 3 жыл бұрын

I dont think people say "it's a phase" anymore which is why I'm confused about this discourse in the comments section. It isn't wrong to experiement or question your sexuality. And then there are bisexual and pansexual celebs constantly having to "prove" their sexuality bc they have straight monogamous relationships, which ALSO invalidated them. I definitely think it isn't just a straight person problem and that the lgbtq community demands people who are fluid to label themselves

@jelliforever8580 3 жыл бұрын

@@MyFictionalChaos I completely agree with you on on how idiotic it is for people to constantly be HAVING to "prove" their sexuality or feeling pressured to have a label on their sexuality and I also think that questioning and experiment is beneficial and I don't think it's disrespectful at all. Believe it or not there's actually a lot of biphobia both coming from straight people and from the lgbtq community itself with mostly people saying that a bi woman dating a man automatically makes her straight or just people trying to avoid the label "bisexual" to avoid biphobia which just causes erasure and it's very unfortunate. Oh and about the "it's just a phase" phrase, even though it's not as commonly used, when celebrities or people with a big following say it even just once, it makes a bigger impact. What do you think?

@WritingSch 3 жыл бұрын

chaotic_gabby People definitely still say “oh you’re just having a phase”

@MyFictionalChaos 3 жыл бұрын

@@WritingSch yeah, ignorant people still say that. Just like some people still think same sex sexuality is a sin. It's outdated. What im saying is that nobody in the public eye is still saying that. It is an outdated phrase

@jelliforever8580 3 жыл бұрын

@Hi I can see how I might have worded that a little weird but what I meant was that it can be beneficial to experiment if a person is genuinely questioning their sexuality. I hope that clears it up a bit more and I do agree that it is very hurtful when people treat experimenting to simply mess around with people and not because they're questioning.

@idaormark3079 3 жыл бұрын

men like wlw until the women in question marry another women

@samaraisnt 3 жыл бұрын

💕💕💕

@emotapw 3 жыл бұрын

yup

@miaferrari958 3 жыл бұрын

yeah, men like wlw as long as they find it appealing and feel like it's "for them". But what thing that women do doesn't fit into that category, though?

@absolutelychampagne 3 жыл бұрын

Lol no. I'm a man and I support wlw

@crazymonkey4175 3 жыл бұрын

@@absolutelychampagne then they aren’t referring to you

@kaeleighism 3 жыл бұрын

This speaks to me so much. I am bi and had a bunch of one night stand situations with women in college. Then I fell in love with my husband and married him. Everyone was so shocked when I self identified as bi last year. Even my husband who witnessed me making out with women at parties and bars, he was so angry even though I've literally never lied or been covert about my attraction to women. When I was hurt and reiterated that I'd never hidden who I am and what they he'll did he think was happening when I was kidding girls in college his literal answer was "I thought you did it to turn me on". Like what? We weren't dating. I could have cared less who was around us cause I was focused on the hot woman in front of me. This kind of thinking is so damaging.

@haught7576 3 жыл бұрын

It sounds like your husband has a lot of work to do reflecting on his fragile masculinity and lack of respect, you absolutely don’t deserve to be treated like that!

@idontownagoldfish 3 жыл бұрын

hope your husband gets educated about bisexuality and understands it more

@keishlamontes2190 2 жыл бұрын

I- i wish to say im shocked but im not. Straight men need to stop assuming we would do anything for their validation and this starts when straight woman full around with friends at parties just to get guys attention so guys just assume every woman is like this and completely invalidate our sexuality. For example theyre completely fine with you sleeping with woman will dating them but if it was a man its "cheating. What their basically saying is that "im the man a woman could never replace me" when in reality they could.

@batissta44 2 жыл бұрын

The only reason your husband was angry is because Society has programmed people into thinking that women can do gay things and still identify as "heterosexual". He got upset for no reason because he should have known lol. any woman who likes making out with other women is bisexual or atleast hetroflexible and if she doesn't think so she just has internalized homophobia.

@keishlamontes2190 2 жыл бұрын

@@batissta44 FACTS we society has made us think that if two woman kiss they’re “just joking” or “doing it for guys attention” but if a guy comes out as bisexual people say “o he’s just gay but doesn’t want to admit it” and all these things perpetuate the idea that we are “supposed” to like men

@nowhy666 Жыл бұрын

What I’ve noticed in media is usually a mlm show is directed towards women, while wlw is directed towards men

@wafaaifkirn2625 3 жыл бұрын

They act like being bi is a trend

@killersbratt68 3 жыл бұрын

THIS ^^^

@batissta44 3 жыл бұрын

Girls*

@user-oz7qh5wk5l 3 жыл бұрын

Sry tho i don't wanna come out now cause girls around my area are all "bi" cause they think it's a trend

@jaciewall9108 3 жыл бұрын

IKR it’s so annoying

@raphael1622 3 жыл бұрын

It pisses me off so much to see people who are clearly straight acting like they're attracted to the same sex just to look cool in front of their friends. I mean it's a total waste of time and it only reinforces the wrong idea that people have that bisexual people are just unsure about what they like or they're just lying because you cant be attracted by guys and girls you have to pick a side .

@FlowerFriend02 3 жыл бұрын

This girl that I liked told everyone she was bi and when I asked her out she said that she was just bi because she wanted to be popular 😐

@Ezzy089 3 жыл бұрын

Vs in my school: oh you're friends with everyone? You're a lesbian. Like wut. And then they don't even support the gays. They think we're all freaks 💀 Or, oh shes making dirty jokes? She's straight and really horny. Like lmao I'm ace but ok. But anyway, that's so fucked up she did that. Tf. That happens?

@dragongamer4753 3 жыл бұрын

Do you live in california or something

@FadzaiSimango 3 жыл бұрын

_Wooooow!_ Screw her, honestly 🙄 (I mean, that as in "Forget her")

@sofiadinis8831 3 жыл бұрын

What??? She gotta be 15 or sth cos that is sooooooo childish a d disrespectful. Hope u "outed her" so everyone knows shes desperate for the clout

@danaabelle 3 жыл бұрын

Wtf lmao

@gracegallimore4580 3 жыл бұрын

Pan and Bi ppl DOES NOT automatically mean we are Polyamorous. And I honestly wish my family would try to be this educated instead of assuming I'm "cured" from being "confused" (Pansexual)bc my partner is a straight white male. My partner does NOT define my sexuality.

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Ouch, that sucks. This is more about them than you though, hopefully someday they'll come around. Sometimes people take time. Honestly I hate thinking of that even more than the idea of my family rejecting me. They don't like it, but at least they believe being gay is real. I think I'll have to come out/remind them of my identity more than once depending on my future partners' genders...sigh

@gracegallimore4580 3 жыл бұрын

@@margaretgibbs6673 No, my family believes being non hetero is real. They just treat me like a disease more than they usually did before I came out

@lizzyisbored9882 2 жыл бұрын

There is still a large population of bi and pan people in polyamory communities. I just feel like polyamory gets thrown under the bus when talking about biphobia.

@Torthrodhel 2 жыл бұрын

@@lizzyisbored9882 the automated conflation is disrespectful for both, isn't it? And yeah it does, to an extent. Eh. All this bloody assuming. Why people have to have an assumption for everything? Like they can't just go with "I don't know" until someone says one way or another (or until forever when they don't)? Like why should it make a difference to them anyway. You make a good point.

@lizzyisbored9882 2 жыл бұрын

@@Torthrodhel I don't think it is a poor assumption. I am literally bi and polyamory at the same time. When I tell people I'm bi I get shit on and get comments well you must be a cheater because you can't be with one person. Then I'm like well good thing I'm not monogamous and have polyamorous relationships. Just people knowing I'm bisexual(not knowing I'm polyamorous as well) I get a shit ton of backhanded remarks about how bad it is to have multiple partners.

@mk-aka-morgan8386 3 жыл бұрын

Something that really upset me when I came out to my mom, was when she said "your aunt used to be bi too, then she got married to a man" 😞😞😞 mom.... No

@Malyari 3 жыл бұрын

Ma'am... no... that's not- *sigh*

@Lukewarmcocacola 3 жыл бұрын

Confused but shes got the spirit

@josukeshair8891 Жыл бұрын

@@we_allhaveapurpose3954 lmao good sarcasm

@thekalenichannel1812 Жыл бұрын

@@we_allhaveapurpose3954 nice try at bait

@ayadhyist Жыл бұрын

@@we_allhaveapurpose3954 You should have your internet access revoked.

@picklesthewise 3 жыл бұрын

Some people would rather support an artist "acting" bisexual for fanservice than actual LGBTQ+ artists. That always pisses me off. They want the sexual fantasy without the more marginalized and complicated reality.

@vivaciousmyosotis 3 жыл бұрын

@Crystal Odiri and the culture

@basicamente7067 3 жыл бұрын

fr!

@ahmedbarakat2809 3 жыл бұрын

this screams KPOP!!!!

@sofa330 3 жыл бұрын

@@ahmedbarakat2809 THIS!! As a kpop fan this really bothers me. It’s so common; just look at all of the teens who actively ship members within a group because of this kind of fanservice. Straight women/girls (who make up the majority of boy groups’ fanbases, no matter what kpop stans want you to believe) want to project their sexual fantasies about their idol onto someone else, but they don’t want that someone else to be female because it means that they don’t have a chance. It goes the other way too- girl group members are affectionate with each other so that their straight male fans can project their fantasies without the idol actually being “taken”. This is why the same kpop stans that ship idols within a group freak out when their idol is exposed for dating someone of the opposite gender. They don’t actually want their idols to be LGBTQ; kfans love this fan service too, and Korea is known for being a conservative and homophobic country.

@cherrybomb9330 3 жыл бұрын

@@sofa330 I'm a kpop stan myself but I completely agree with you. I've seen so many obsessed and weird people. And what bothers me the most is that the companies are feeding those creeps just to make some money.

@soaribb32 3 жыл бұрын

People clowned Kehlani's baby father cuz he's also bi. I was like "what?"

@eypu999 3 жыл бұрын

they suddenly can't understand

@ameera.abubakr 3 жыл бұрын

Ikr if they wanted to have a baby together and both happened to be bisexual what is so confusing about that..

@girlieluuv94 3 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! I remember that.

@ameera.abubakr 3 жыл бұрын

@@SourStrawberrys i agreee

@aotulapongen8382 3 жыл бұрын

Her baby is so adorable. God Bless! We as a community need to protect little children at all costs! Even the adolescents! I wish the same for my little self

@minoo1984 3 жыл бұрын

“Used to be bi but now I’m just hetro” - Nicki Minaj 😭

@chrisdew9816 3 жыл бұрын

😭😭😭😭

@idontownagoldfish 3 жыл бұрын

how could people stan her 😭😭😭

@reversemitosis4213 3 жыл бұрын

i mean she was probably just experimenting/questioning. like maybe the wording came out wrong

@marixcx 3 жыл бұрын

Her stans keep saying “she was bisexual” in 2009 to defend her saying the f slur... 😭 I like Nicki and truly the reason I became a fan of her was because of the assumption that she was bi. She’s not above criticism and stans should know that. Like at least call her bicurious. I think she believes in order to be bi she has to be with women. (which is just another biphobic mess.) Nicki has admitted to being attracted to women but I’m afraid similar to Lady Gaga she has seen the lgbt community won’t be accepting of you if you claim to be bi but only have dated men. There’s nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality but it kinda made it seem like bisexuality is a phase and you’ll eventually figure out if you’re either straight or gay and that’s it. :/

@HoneyHoney-yf6nd 3 жыл бұрын

I heard that before knowing I’m bi and I was like okay! but now it is just not it! don’t make it seem as if bi, pan are “confuse”

@dancord2520 3 жыл бұрын

As a bisexual man, I feel LGBT community and the straights don't understand us. I'm not trying to play the victim but most of bi people I know, they can relate!

@chulo9454 2 жыл бұрын

Wow shocker... Someone who's just like you, understands you better. It's almost like y'all have similarities

@augustuslunasol10thapostle Жыл бұрын

@@chulo9454 the LGBT+ community has similarities oppression and being invalidated it’s a infuriating experience when someone who was treated like that turning around doing the oppressors work it’s like being enslaved and being freed and then perpetuating slavery

@theshermantanker7043 Жыл бұрын

Trust me, we all do. Majority of us also condemn these stereotypes when we see them lmao

@karimwebo8546 Жыл бұрын

Fr.

@FuzzyKittenBoots Жыл бұрын

I think that the LGBT community is just as suspicious of its bisexual members as heterosexual society is, just for different reasons.

@le6360 3 жыл бұрын

Love this. Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I want to sleep with everyone

@nelliebellie2222 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly lol

@elloryrudolph3632 3 жыл бұрын

Period.

@k1ttyc0ree8 3 жыл бұрын

mmhm

@Jill-ih9dq 3 жыл бұрын

what if I were to tell them... a person can be bi AND ace/ace spectrum 😬😬

@ASTEIR 3 жыл бұрын

@@Jill-ih9dq they wouldnt believe you bc people associate bi and being sexual

@sarahk8053 3 жыл бұрын

As an adult bi woman who never had the chance to actually be with a woman and is in a long term relationship with a man, this kind of shit is why I'm constantly questioning my validity as a bi person.

@mgtccnl 3 жыл бұрын

Never question your validity. You're you and that's all you need to be. You don't own anybody anything, if you identify as bisexual, it's that it's what's best for you

@Samson16436 3 жыл бұрын

I've had male partners invalidating my sexuality because "you're with me so how can you like girls". A few of them expressed that my sexual preferences made them feel emasculated. That really sucked.. Made me feel super uncomfortable and hurt. I felt very belittled. Also kinda blamed myself for unintentionally hurting them by making them feel that way, even if I knew that it wasn't really my fault. I'm older now though and that stuff doesn't bother me anymore.

@callmek5 3 жыл бұрын

same ):

@SynFlowers 3 жыл бұрын

I’m in the same boat!!!! I see you, we exist 🖤

@loverrlee 3 жыл бұрын

Sameeeeeeee

@forevertamarasworld 3 жыл бұрын

Nicki’s one line in her verse on Say So Remix “used to be Bi but now I’m just hetro” always rubbed me the wrong way.

@marixcx 3 жыл бұрын

And if you point it out her stans come for your neck. I saw on twitter they attacked a bisexual man and were saying biphobic things and calling him slurs. :/ they said that if was so offended he should just call himself gay because bisexual men don’t act like that...

@Tristan1886 3 жыл бұрын

@@marixcx hmm twitter how surprising 💀

@brooke8861 3 жыл бұрын

SAME .

@gwendeliner.5049 3 жыл бұрын

Same.

@pussipoppa69 2 жыл бұрын

right

@itsciara3569 3 жыл бұрын

Some people still don't take my bisexuality serious because I'm with a man it doesn't mean I don't love women any less I've always been bi always will be regardless who I'm with

@jariyahhh 3 жыл бұрын

people dont take mine seriously cuz of the same reason. It gets annoying to be told im either straight or lesbian when im neither and im just bisexual

@jazjaz5662 3 жыл бұрын

Your heterosexual if your with a man.

@cm1868 3 жыл бұрын

@@jazjaz5662 ✨ Nope ✨. Just because her person turned out to be a man, doesn't mean she's not bi. She can most definitely have a relationship with either gender since she's attracted to both, dude

@Tristan1886 3 жыл бұрын

@@jazjaz5662 That's not how that works wtf💀

@jazjaz5662 3 жыл бұрын

@@cm1868 she’s a heterosexual in mind. Bi girls don’t take lesbians seriously and this is why I don’t take them serious but hey maybe bisexuals should just stick with bisexuals.

@rw7873 3 жыл бұрын

That idea that bisexual women only want women for sexual reasons is really harmful. With my parents, they tried invalidate my bisexuality when I came out by saying, “how do you know when you have never had sex with a girl”. I was thirteen when I came out and around that time, that’s when I wanted to start dating, but my parents immediately thought SEX. I wish people in the media would push Bi and pan positive messages more like you have. Thank you so much, you have a new grateful subscriber.

@dannhoff6646 3 жыл бұрын

My mother said the same

@Sul516 3 жыл бұрын

Yes. Women dont just get together for sex but for romantic reasons too

@lnnttr 3 жыл бұрын

FR I JUST WANT A SOFT COTTAGECORE GIRLFRIEND WHO LIKES FROGS AS MUCH AS I DO 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

@rw7873 3 жыл бұрын

I relate to this on a spiritual level!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I hope you find her somewhere.

@santasiajones6168 3 жыл бұрын

but im only attracted to women sexually.. i cant emotionally bond with other women. therea a name for it but idk what its called

@cowboytori 3 жыл бұрын

It’s also bc society fetishizes bisexuality in women...it’s so annoying

@batissta44 3 жыл бұрын

And society shames bisexuality in men. Its hypothetical

@joannelee5574 3 жыл бұрын

Pretty much any wlw... society just be fetishizing women existing at this point💀💀

@benas_st 3 жыл бұрын

@@joannelee5574 so basically woman: *breathes* society: OH LAWD I'M COMIN'

@sadiamohamud4323 3 жыл бұрын

@@benas_st frrrrrrrr

@clintonbaird5465 3 жыл бұрын

I’m a bi guy and I’ve never looked at it from this perspective. Sure I had to deal with lots of stigma experimenting with my sexuality as a guy but at least my sexuality isn’t constantly fetishized. Stay strong y’all!

@claudiajade5818 3 жыл бұрын

Being married to a man doesn’t make them straight, being married to a woman doesn’t make them lesbian and it doesn’t mean their gonna cheat with the opposite gender. When tf are people gonna realise that? Love that she’s raising awareness for bi eraser with this video 💗💙💜

@cupidbeaux6251 3 жыл бұрын

For some reason I am reminded of that old Lady Gaga clip where the interviewer asks her what she thinks of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" and Lady Gaga just says, "You know, I don't think she's ever actually kissed a girl."

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Fitting, given Lady Gaga is literally bi (but basically nobody outside the lgbt community talks about it cough cough)

@FerBaide 3 жыл бұрын

@@margaretgibbs6673 even her own fanbase invalidates her bisexuality, because she’s never had a serious relationship with a woman

@Nicole-zc3fj 3 жыл бұрын

Katy has said she’s bisexual. Also that she done a lot more than kiss a girl. Gaga has no right to comment on someone she doesn’t even know. Gaga doesn’t even understand the struggle of Bi woman because she’s only ever dated men.

@5cene5pider 3 жыл бұрын

@@margaretgibbs6673 omg I never knew, that’s amazing

@AnthoNy-vq8bv 3 жыл бұрын

@@Nicole-zc3fj you are litterally proving the point of the video...

@QueenZsWorld 3 жыл бұрын

not Nicki "used to be bi now I'm just hetro" Minaj 💀💀💀

@amaliab6682 3 жыл бұрын

Lady Gaga and Jessie J too!

@lailaxo8765 3 жыл бұрын

@@amaliab6682 lady gaga has always been bisexual lol

@starcherry6814 3 жыл бұрын

@@amaliab6682 Lady Gaga is a very respected figure in the LGBTQ community 👏

@mikeoochie7699 3 жыл бұрын

@@amaliab6682 ayo Lady Gaga is an icon

@unchartedraider7547 3 жыл бұрын

@@amaliab6682 Don't attack Gaga she is legit bi

@Ellbat 3 жыл бұрын

ok so I've been binging your content for hours and im obsesseddddd

@NoeBIchez 3 жыл бұрын

Same, and most of them are around 15 mins so I can watch without getting distracted

@jessietipton6718 3 жыл бұрын

SAME

@kelsiemangar 2 жыл бұрын

ELL!!!! 🥺 my fave watching another fave? 💖

@Katie-md7mh Жыл бұрын

i go to a pretty liberal school with very open minded friends. But it makes me so uncomfortable to tell people I'm Bi. Im not trying to hide it, but it gives me anxiety to think that "what if my girl friends don't see me as one of them?" "Im pretty jokingly flirty, what if my presence and humor makes them feel like I'm interested in them?" "What if people discredit my sexuality just because I date a guy?" etc etc. All these worry me. And to see and hear some of my friends jokingly say that bisexaulity is easy or fun. I don't like it. Senior year, when I first finally realized I was bi, I didn't feel freed and empowered. I felt terrified. I didn't feel like a sexy bad ass. I felt like this was an added burden in my life because of how bisexuality is seen in straight culture, but also the LGBTQ+ community. Stop treating it like its some silly little game.

@d33w33 3 жыл бұрын

We need more bi men representation. I'm a bi girl but still...

@One-pz3zk 3 жыл бұрын

Kind of been done already

@d33w33 3 жыл бұрын

@@One-pz3zk where

@One-pz3zk 3 жыл бұрын

@@d33w33 Ace Ventura

@MondayMorningMist 3 жыл бұрын

@@One-pz3zk well, Neesh said we need *more* bi men representation, not that there aren't any bi men existing in media already

@peypey1209 3 жыл бұрын

Widowmaker here

@GrimlyYours 3 жыл бұрын

People conflating bisexuality with polyamory really grinds my goat. They aren't synonymous.

@GrimlyYours 3 жыл бұрын

@@lillianaoneal9231 😂😂😂 no problem!

@lizzyisbored9882 2 жыл бұрын

They are not synonymous, but there is a larger bisexual pool that straight and gay people in polyamory.

@indigothecat 2 жыл бұрын

@@lizzyisbored9882 There is a large overrepresentation of bisexual women in polyamory. Most of the men in poly are straight.

@sunmi2539 Жыл бұрын

@@lillianaoneal9231 lmao

@plutonium09 3 жыл бұрын

Ok just wanna say it, as a lesbian I will never ever discriminate against bisexuals, you guys are just as valid as I am ❤️

@graceanderson7933 Жыл бұрын

Thanks friend 😘

@gfslight Жыл бұрын

As a bisexual man, I appreciate this video so much. It hurts deeply when women I am dating hear that I am bisexual and no longer "see me as a man" (whatever the fuck that even means). But somehow I lose value simply because I love people and enjoy a variety of different people and things.

@madisenkornele3227 3 жыл бұрын

A guy kissing another guy and immediately thinking, nah this isnt for me, is literally the straightest thing possible. Unshakable heterosexuality. Tried, tested and true straightness.

@voidpriestess8339 3 жыл бұрын

Mhm

@kingcchultz3366 3 жыл бұрын

Maybe it's just the wrong guy, many guys, even realizing this themselves, cannot feel sexual attraction without emotional contact.

@atomosvrial1708 3 жыл бұрын

Hey now lets not erase or devalue someones sexuality, then being straight doesnt make it ok

@Sid_Vintage 3 жыл бұрын

I don’t think one bad experience will change someone’s sexuality

@atomosvrial1708 3 жыл бұрын

@@Sid_Vintage so your saying gay people don't really know they are gay even after their first kiss until they try being straight for a while regardless.

@starcherry6814 3 жыл бұрын

Nicki Minaj also opened up about how she was PRESSURED by her LABEL and producers to act Bi She likely was not the only one, if we are going to hold celebrities accountable for their actions we have to hold the men pulling the strings too

@sofia_rms 3 жыл бұрын

Truee

@teddiespicker 3 жыл бұрын

Okay I might forgive her now.

@ccdiez8326 3 жыл бұрын

Cough lady gaga cough

@starcherry6814 3 жыл бұрын

@@ccdiez8326 Lady Gaga is tired of defending her bisexuality to y'all

@Melvito2 3 жыл бұрын

Most female pop stars that came to fame along with Nicki did the same thing only to reveal later it was just a phase, roleplay for the audience or quietly distancing themselves (Gaga also claimed to be bi and then talked as if she was a straight person on Drag Race). Labels were putting pressure too. Y’all remember how Kesha was advertised as the new Lady Gaga with a party animal, piss on the floor, sex with ghosts schtick? It’s wild looking back with the truths that have come to light.

@enchanted_wildflower_ 3 жыл бұрын

my exboyfriend literally told me 6 months into our relationship, when i mentioned my bisexuality, that i should have told him that i am bi before we started dating. he was actually angry about it. Eventhough quite in the beginning I had told him how i used to be in love with a female friend of mine when i was in high school, so that was me coming out to him in my mind. he just hadn't taken that seriously at all and somehow still thought i was straight..? and when he got over the shock of me being bi he obviously wanted to have a threesome ugh, cause thats what all bi women want, right? most men are so predictable, it's sad. And it seems like when two women are in a relationship, their relationship is often times not taken seriously. just like he didn't take my feelings for this girl seriously. like she was my first love, that's serious. but of course women don't have more important things to do than to make men happy. i'm so glad i broke up with that guy ugh

@ettaetta439 Жыл бұрын

I don't understand why some straight people feel like they're entitled to us coming out to them. Even if we're dating, I don't have to tell you I'm bi because what matters is that we're attracted to each other and are romantically interested in each other, and that shit wouldn't be possible if I was a lesbian so cool off. They treat it like it's a betrayal.

@una6013 3 жыл бұрын

“The male gaze” is the reason why so many women watch gay porn, because it doesn’t objectify any women involved. I’ve heard many different opinions about this, some saying that this is simply women “fetishizing gay men.” Obviously i am not a gay man myself, so my opinion on this doesn’t really matter, but I think that there are a lot of straight women who watch gay porn simply because it is seen through “the male gaze”, but in this case, the subject of the gaze is a man.

@Qwerty-lq2op 3 жыл бұрын

Also, when you watch straight porn, it almost all of them are recording the female part much much more than the male, even in some straight porn videos, they’re only gonna showing the female’s body and male? Only hand and dick

@canvas_125 3 жыл бұрын

I’m straight female, but gay porn doesn’t do it for me. I’ve found women love more satisfying because it feels sweeter and I feel like I can relate to their hearts a little more. Idk, it’s strange. I’ve had encounters with women before and realize I like to watch, but I’ve yet to meet a girl I’m attracted to.

@lemonade_011 3 жыл бұрын

As A gay male , oh yess there is , and it’s quite wierd like .

@oceanid4923 3 жыл бұрын

that also applies to women indulging yaoi. as a gay man, i see absolute no problem with it nor do i find it fetishizing unless if it is applied to real life situations; but i wont speak for the gay men out there, just my take.

@nodoboho 3 жыл бұрын

@@canvas_125 Perhaps you are one of those who would describe themselves as Homo-romantic, Hetero-sexual. OTOH, some day, I hope you find a woman you *are* attracted to and experience fully the sweetness of same-sex sexuality.

@mette9279 3 жыл бұрын

I remember one time I was on a date with a girl I met on Tinder. We went for a drink and then saw a pub that looked fun so we went there to dance. We were on a date, we liked each other, so we were just dancing and flirting a bit. Just like so many people do when going out. But there where so many men standing around us, clearly trying to hit on us and enjoying what they saw. We felt so incredibly uncomfortable that we went home soon after that. We weren't even doing that much, we were just dancing, but these men all acted like we did that for them. I'm still so mad, because no, we were not doing that for anyone but ourselves, because we liked each other and had a good time before being sexualized and objectified so much that we had to leave. BISEXUAL AND LESBIAN WOMEN ARE NOT THERE FOR THE PLEASURE OF HETEROSEXUAL MALES

@mjice22 3 жыл бұрын

PREACH 🤩

@lorenaf3573 3 жыл бұрын

PERIODTTTT

@chaotic.nebula 3 жыл бұрын

PREACH IT SIS

@damndorothea 3 жыл бұрын

or pan, poly, omni, etc.

@mekkisnuts998 3 жыл бұрын

No gay person is for straight people. We need to teach little girls that gay men also don't exist for their pleasure and overall just kids in general.

@DonovanHerleyman 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like performative bisexuality really contributes to biphobia within the LGBTQ+ community, which just sucks and made me feel like i was unable to come out. To this day I have been unable to tell my parents because they think that everyone is “faking it for attention” just because that’s how it is in the media. I just want to tell all bisexuals out there that you are VALID, and no matter if you later come out as gay or pansexual or whatever, your journey is valid!

@deebloopers 3 жыл бұрын

I totally it perpetuates a stereotype that bisexuality is just a phase and it’s something to just try on.

@lepokebloc4198 3 жыл бұрын

I wish you the best for your coming out with your parents ! I hope you can find the courage to tell them soon 💪

@saturn7749 3 жыл бұрын

Thx u chile

@dehititih7571 3 жыл бұрын

My bf doesn trust bisexual women. She had a bicurious woman use her and now thinks all Bi people just "have a phase".

@qaterra7074 3 жыл бұрын

this is especially true w the older generation omg

@3boodae749 3 жыл бұрын

This is such an excellent video. At a university level we study in media and psychology how female sexuality is represented, and we see how the fashionably bi (female) trope has long been promoted in various forms of pop media. Yet literally no one ever calls out how fake it is and how it does little to help actual bisexual women, because this form of representation isn’t really for them, it’s for us (straight men) because we are aroused by it.

@lp2033 2 жыл бұрын

This is what bugged me about the trend of women saying they’re “lesbian for [fill in the blank]”. It felt so reaction and validation driven I can not

@nathanarts 3 жыл бұрын

Bisexuality is so poorly represented so often. Whenever I tell someone I'm bi they think I'm automatically gonna cheat on them or they think being bi is somehow the same thing as being polyamorous???

@whosaami 3 жыл бұрын

Ikr- i'm tired

@taziarene1322 3 жыл бұрын

Girl yesss!!! Omg that shit is so annoying like when I’m in a relationship I’m in a relationship with one person. Especially when I’m dealing with woman it’s like I’m not allowed to like men. It’s so wrong.

@yougotgamesonyourphone6947 3 жыл бұрын

Or they automatically assume you’re into threesomes or is okay with bringing another woman around for THEIR pleasure?

@miaferrari958 3 жыл бұрын

I think the ""logic"" behind it is that for example, if as a woman you date a bi man, then he'd be with you but still attracted to men. But, like, if you date a straight man, he'd still be attracted to other women, so... ?? The possibility of being attracted to other people is still there regardless and the chances of a bi person cheating or wanting to be with other people rely on their character, as a human being. So, I'm gonna have to go with "biphobia" being the reason...

@BrittneyChristina 3 жыл бұрын

Omg thisssss! Story of my life 😩

@user-yn5bx5sg5t 3 жыл бұрын

I remember seeing a teen talking to one of his friends (they were around 14 years old). He and his friend kept saying that gay men are disgusting while lesbian women are ok and are really helpful in pleasing men. I was seriously about to throw my fists.

@user-yn5bx5sg5t 3 жыл бұрын

@@jilliansutherland2897 rest assured that if it ever happens, it's one of my priorities!

@souldemon5491 3 жыл бұрын

Yo can i join

@user-yn5bx5sg5t 3 жыл бұрын

@@souldemon5491 absolutely, it's time to beat up some people

@souldemon5491 3 жыл бұрын

@@user-yn5bx5sg5t yea

@luciannebeans6679 3 жыл бұрын

Plenty of men in their fifties say this. The ignorance never really disappears, you just get stronger and better equipped to handle it.

@BenefitCounterbench 3 жыл бұрын

No one wanted to date me in my class when they assumed I was straight. When I outed as bi, SIX guys tried to hit on me. After some of them had found out that I was having a wlw FwB at that time, they asked me for the details. I realized quite soon that the fetishization of female bisexuality is very much real...

@SusannaPowers 3 жыл бұрын

Just looked it up, Tia Tequila is not bisexual, never was, and even had a boyfriend while filming her dating reality show. As a matter of fact, her Wikipedia says that she considers queerness a sin. Gross.

@MyAliceTube 3 жыл бұрын

As a lesbian I can speak from experience so basically I was at a party (before rona ofc) with girl I had a bit of a thing for and she kissed me on the cheek in front of a guy and asked him “you like that?”... that made me beyond ✨u n c o m f y✨

@Bro-cz8bj 3 жыл бұрын

Wtf, you shoulda called her out bruh

@TheAlyssa2469 3 жыл бұрын

Yoooo wtf eww. I just cringed so hard

@sox8229 3 жыл бұрын

🤢🤢

@chenmae9747 3 жыл бұрын

Gurl bye- I hope you looked at her with disgust and left

@-cocoa 3 жыл бұрын

To be honest I prefer to keep my sexuality unknown

@hopekeeley2122 3 жыл бұрын

@The Fool or, she doesn’t have a box, like the comment says

@ibattibat5580 3 жыл бұрын

Ahhh, U sx ninja U!😆

@anna_banana414 3 жыл бұрын

honestly same, im just not gonna come out, like eventually my friends and family will figure it out on their own if they’re really that interested in who im attracted to

@BraffWaffle 3 жыл бұрын

Very this I just want to bring a girl home and they’ll piece it together. Why you gotta be worried about what I do in the bedroom? Just be happy for me and wish me a good future.

@sunshinedesignsbend 3 жыл бұрын

Same. Tbh, I'm not even sure 🤣🤣🤣. I quit trying to figure it out, doesn't matter. I don't need to choose a label. I don't need to fit in or be excluded. I do what I want! Lol 😉

@dahliam77 3 жыл бұрын

Everyone is talking about the fetishizing of bisexuality in women but I am just waiting for someone to talk about women sexualizing gay men?! It makes me so upset to see in fanfiction and in fan culture in general.

@voidpriestess8339 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah it's really fucking icky. I also hate how the first thing I thought of when I read this comment was the fucking gacha life community good lorb.....

@melvonjohnson5711 2 жыл бұрын

@@voidpriestess8339 Straight women also think they can turn a gay men straight. Straight women think what they have between their legs is golden and no men can't resist it or turn it down.

@Lily-tv5ti 2 жыл бұрын

@@melvonjohnson5711 same with straight men and gay women. some people are so ridiculous and entitled i swear

@melvonjohnson5711 2 жыл бұрын

@@Lily-tv5ti On several occasions I had straight get mad at me because I told them I don't go that way but the keep on insisting that I should try it eewwwww

@driamhane 2 жыл бұрын

yeah... at one point i really thought it was gay men who wrote all that mlm fanfic... damn.

@loftygingersnap1603 2 жыл бұрын

I needed to watch this because I'm a lesbian and I've been harassed omw to school/ in school by straight men and the one on the bus kept asking if my girlfriend and I let guys get in between us and the 2nd guy was like "guys like two girls at the same time nowadays" I'm just really angry because they're homophobic by not thinking we're serious, we've been together for 2 years and we plan to get married -_- but on the bright side im an artist so I'm currently writing a graphic novel that I FEEL represents WLW correctly

@obesemouse7254 2 жыл бұрын

Maan shut up

@londyn8216 Жыл бұрын

That’s not bullying they are supporting ur romance

@MR-mc5xg Жыл бұрын

@@londyn8216 how?

@ettaetta439 Жыл бұрын

I hope that you reported them or told them off, that sounds awful. Maybe get some friends to be at your back when they harass you.

@smithsunleashed 3 ай бұрын

@@londyn8216no rhey aren’t

@Mimigoss 3 жыл бұрын

As a bisexual guy, I'll say two things : - Thank you - I love you!

@loladoee 3 жыл бұрын

don't forget youre valid too even though there isn't much representation for guys! us bisexuals need to stick together!!

@ismth 3 жыл бұрын

@@loladoee yup, rooting for y’all

@chenmae9747 3 жыл бұрын

@@loladoee 😭 Aww 🥺

@loladoee 3 жыл бұрын

@@chenmae9747 🥺 ily

@alluneedislessthan3 3 жыл бұрын

I’m a lesbian and OMG FEW THINGS make me more irritated than the insinuation that my romantic relationships exist for the pleasure of men. Like!! Y’all are NOT invited to the party AT ALL here!! That’s the ENTIRE point!! Mind your own business! No I’m not going to settle down with a man once I “get the gay phase out of my system”. It’s gross. For bi/pan women I can only imagine this sentiment is worse. Hats off to y’all. 😔

@beetlegeuse1961 3 жыл бұрын

its worse when you first came out as a lesbian only to realize you're bi and then get a bf. people just assume you're straight and the "he turned you straight lol" jokes never end. its annoying and invalidating af

@lockheart619 3 жыл бұрын

Lesbian and bi and pan solidarity 🤝

@oyinkansolaadebajo9716 3 жыл бұрын

@@beetlegeuse1961 Or, in the Christian lense, he cOnVeRtEd you to StRaIgHtDoM. Ughhh...

@vriannewojtowicz8408 3 жыл бұрын

THIS omg

@kristinepinlac2796 3 жыл бұрын

THIS 👏👏

@rosem4ry610 3 жыл бұрын

unrelated: but i _hate_ when ppl say "how do u know ur [insert sexuality] when u've never been in a relationship?" Like??????? ppl have different ways of discovering themselves, don't invalidate someone's experiences. even if they're not the rainbow community; still!!! never invalidate someone's identity.

@koala201211 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like that all the time

@futuristicgirl14 2 жыл бұрын

@@batissta44 that feels like me, I definitely want to explore my sexuality more but I feel like I’m going to end up being exactly what you’ve described

@aceatlasska4343 2 жыл бұрын

@@batissta44 I think that's because women can be sexually aroused by porn regardless of whether the people in it are of the gender they are attracted to. For women sexual arousal =/= sexual attraction. Asexual people can also enjoy porn, and it doesn't invalidate their sexual orientation.

@chulo9454 2 жыл бұрын

Yea you mean like how bi ppl invalidate lesbians experiences and instead just call us "biphobic" when we develop a preference for dating other lesbians because of what we've experienced with bi girls. Hm

@weeabootrashpanda3910 3 жыл бұрын

I’m 27. Just within the last 2-3 years I have learned to accept the fact that I am bisexual. I was never comfortable with my sexuality because of my involvement in a Southern Baptist church and because of how fetishized bisexuality was portrayed in the media. I saw the way people who weren’t hetero in the media and was full of self-loathing and doubt for my entire life. Fear of backlash from my religious peers and fear of rejection from my family played a big part of me denying who I am. I’m very lucky that my entire family has accepted me when I came out to them earlier this year.

@shroomshroom5945 3 жыл бұрын

MY SEXUALITY IS NOT A FETISH FOR MAN!

@k1ttyc0ree8 3 жыл бұрын

@@zayna5549 ok

@ynln6671 3 жыл бұрын

@@zayna5549 👩🏾‍🦯👩🏾‍🦯

@Lol-fc2wd 3 жыл бұрын

@@zayna5549 lol they all problmeitic

@tdot4079 3 жыл бұрын

@@zayna5549 damn you really said that like it has something to do with the convo 🧍🏾

@nathanielnn6356 3 жыл бұрын

@katherinesantiago4698 3 жыл бұрын

I always say to my friend "to straight men, lesbian women are bisexual and bisexual women are straight. " Alot of men really can't conceive the idea of women wanting to be with one another simply for their own pleasure- in their mind its all about them. Because its terrifying for them to imagine women could be satisfied without them. In many ways Lesphobia and Biphobia go hand in hand, so we lesbians gotta stand up for our bisexual sisters instead of tearing them down and contributing to biphobia.

@banana_lunana 3 жыл бұрын

Oof, I felt this. I can't count how many times men have assumed I was flirting with them *knowing* I am a lesbian. It's like they can't imagine a world where I have zero attraction to them. And it's so much worse for bisexual women. I was out as bisexual first because I thought I still liked men and the kind of sexual comments I got from men was absolutely disgusting... all disguised as "jokes." I've never met a man that doesn't invalidate my sexuality in some way and make me feel like I'm faking it for male attention... except maybe my brother. :/

@swimmnlikenemo 3 жыл бұрын

As a bi woman, I really appreciate this :)

@terhisomersalo8588 3 жыл бұрын

Well said. And its kind of tragic that men need to ask how can we be attracted to women.... Like are they straight guys if they don't know how🤔🤔

@FF-hu6ed 3 жыл бұрын

I think men get told when there younger to be dominant. When your dad leaves for the shop and says "your the man o' the house now" to him it's a funny joke. To young boys it's "now I must be on top. If I show any weakness or let myself get dominated(not sexualy) by a woman than I'm a gonner"

@amelialopez2046 3 жыл бұрын

Well said!!

@visitingstatue69 3 жыл бұрын

I was literally just thinking about this yesterday! I watched Doja Cat's music video to Kiss Me More and how shes being sexual to SZA. It got me thinking how theyre using the LGBTQ+ community to be more "arty" and "sexual"

@starcherry6814 3 жыл бұрын

Doja Cat has been openly bisexual and non monogamous long before she became famous too. I agree with your points btw. Just wanted to add that detail because it's important on a deeper level

@serendity8949 2 жыл бұрын

Bruh what 😭 now y’all r reaching.

@diamond2979 2 жыл бұрын

too bad both of them are attracted to women

@lizfanfan2249 Жыл бұрын

K well dojas openly bisexual has publicly dated woman and sza is to.

@ayadhyist Жыл бұрын

SZA and Doja Cat are openly bisexual though and have had girlfriends.

@princesszeldairl 3 жыл бұрын

i actually started to tear up when you spoke about the male gaze . every straight guy i've been w or met had immediately started fetishizing and sexualizing me the moment they found out i was bi . it's so digusting and uncomfortable . i'm not a puppet and i'm not here to please straight men's fantasies . this entire video was incredibly educational also and it's really given me an understanding of the damage that this wlw representation in society and the media has caused for the community .

@sexysam4692 3 жыл бұрын

As a pansexual young girl, seeing all these hyper-sexualized versions of my community is really scary. I want to figure out who I am and who I like without automatically being seen as a sexual fantasy. I'm only fourteen and I have had crushes on boys and girls and people who identify otherwise and so I feel I SHOULD be so sure about a label but I think because I haven't ever really seen representation that isn't for the male gaze... I've felt EXTREMELY invalidated

@mayjailer682 3 жыл бұрын

Hey there, I totally get you, it's hard to feel comfortable expressing or even being oneself without questioning your validity, but you are NOT a "sexual fantasy" you are your own person, and YOU are the only one that can decide your sexuality and whatnot!!

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Hey, its okay. There are people who won't act like this out there, I promise. I've met several genuinely supportive people over the last few years. And now that this is being talked about more and more, hopefully things will start shifting soon. Honestly you should just focus on yourself and figure yourself out, and take it at your own pace. Some people take half their lives before figuring this stuff out fully, if ever. Like...honestly, not to sound dismissive but reassuring when i say this: you're 14. Seriously, it's okay. You've got so much time. Nobody reasonable or worth listening to will expect you to have anything and everything figured out. When I was 14?? I was so far in the closet I was talking to Aslan in Narnia. I didn't even know I wasn't straight, and I was still unpacking sooo much internal homophobia. You're doing just fine. And yeah, absolutely do not think anyone, regardless of gender, ever has the right to pressure you into things you aren't ready for, or that you don't have the right to define yourself.

@souldemon5491 3 жыл бұрын

Ik this won't convince u but hey pancake u r valid don't say that bout yourself us pancake should stick together

@autumnevans5991 3 жыл бұрын

hey lily, don't feel pressured about a label. i know it's hard, but you don't need to until you've found one you like. if you're a-ok with pansexual, that's super great! i'm proud of you for finding yourself. if not, don't worry too much. you have your whole life to figure it out. and don't do anything if you're not comfortable. most lgbtq+ people live out their "teens" (hetero stereotypical shiz) in their late teens and twenties. have a good one hun!

@spicybeefsalad 3 жыл бұрын

Honestly, I don't even want to tell men I'm bisexual because IMMEDIATELY it's like, if I don't want a threesome I'm a fake bisexual. It doesn't even make sense, so if I was straight and dating a guy I would want to have a threesome with another guy, or else I'm not really straight? I don't get the logic. I'm tired of being sexualized by my sexual preference, if I'm dating someone, whether a man or a woman, I don't want to be with anyone else

@margaretgibbs6673 3 жыл бұрын

Yes! Like straight people or even gay people never want to have threesomes? Come on. Its so ridiculous how people act like polyamory or threesomes are just a bi thing. Which is especially Inch Resting given how it seems like a majority of the time its these...straight...dudes...bringing up the threesome ideas to bi women who Literally Did Not Ask. If anyone's obsessed with threesomes its these guys, so does that make them bi??

@nikkinonames5265 3 жыл бұрын

I know the feeling, and they throw it on your face too!

@sophiemoonlight5712 3 жыл бұрын

I watch 90 day fiancé a girl Say is bi and want a girlfriend but she is married to a man.... So a 3 some 😭

@Overquoted 2 жыл бұрын

There's a term for a bisexual woman that would have a threesome with a m/f couple. Unicorn. So any time a guy wants you have to a threesome with him and another woman, remind him that unicorns don't exist. (Realistically, some bisexual women are down for threesomes, but usually the ones that are realize pretty quickly that a pre-existing m/f couple looking for a threesome tends to end poorly for them. Either they're just there as a fetishized prop, or it ends up causing some weird jealousy on one of the partner's part. So, yeah, a couple outside a swinger community looking for a bisexual who is down... they're hunting a unicorn. They might find one, but the odds ain't good.)

@ireallyreallyhategoogle 2 жыл бұрын

Think of it that way. If you want to be serious with a guy, tell him you're bi and if he immediately asks for a threesome, yell at him about being such an idiot and break it off because he's obviously not the right guy. When my ex told me she was bi, i didn't think of having a threesome, i just listened to her telling me how her best friend reacted when she told her that she really liked her.

@ratkid7188 3 жыл бұрын

A lot of the people in my school view Bisexuality as a “aesthetic.” They claim to be Bi one year and then they’re straight to next. It makes me uncomfortable bc Iv known I was bi since 5th grade. Sure Iv had moments where I questioned if I was actually bi, that’s 100% normal, but to claim you are bisexual for a “trend” and then you’re straight the next upsets me.

@meepmoop2308 Жыл бұрын

Tbh ive done that. I still dont know if i should call myself straight or bi because im still questioning my sexuality and im too socially awkward to confirm it. Soo now i just dont tell anyone

@lilymiller7237 3 жыл бұрын

yeah, i don’t label myself as bi solely because of how the media portrays us. i’m not confused, i’m not pretending, and i’m definitely not “spicy straight.” with all the people faking their sexuality in pop culture and irl these days, it’s hard to be taken seriously as a person who’s attracted to multiple genders.

@gamergirlaria8542 3 жыл бұрын

God being bi is so hard. Especially when I’m constantly invalidated by the “oh you haven’t done anything with a girl before how can you know?” Or “but you’re in a relationship with a guy”. Like it’s ruined my head to the point where I’m constantly questioning if I’m straight since I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for so long even though I know for sure I’m not. I really feel for bi guys they get the most hate by far

@melfromhell 3 жыл бұрын

wow it's like we're the same person. i feel you 😔😔

@australianmagpie2221 3 жыл бұрын

You just can’t help but feel like an impostor and jesus

@delaneyfayce 3 жыл бұрын

Legit the SAME

@terhisomersalo8588 3 жыл бұрын

The sexuality is about who you are attracted to. So if you are attracted to more than one gender then you're bisexual. How does one know they're straight when they haven't dated anyone? Because of the attraction! That goes for all sexualities. You are valid. 🤗💗

@sexyrat8693 3 жыл бұрын

Sameeeee

@xnightxskyex 3 жыл бұрын

I love how when I came out as bisexual to my ex boyfriend, the first question he asked was "so you're up for a threesome?" Like... no? Im bisexual, not polyamorous, why is that the first thought you go to? No "oh wow, how did you figure that out?" or "what is being bisexual like for you?" or "well, I'm glad to be here to support you in figuring out your sexual identity".

@haydi.sameh66 3 жыл бұрын

@@anasn4257 LMAOOO FRR

@basmalasaad3039 3 жыл бұрын

@@anasn4257 I ACTUALLY LOVE YOUUU

@paulinap.1259 3 жыл бұрын

@@anasn4257 hHhhahaha ommmg im gonna keep this saved in my mind for the next time i get this question asked!!!! :D

@poppytielmann7611 3 жыл бұрын

Agree. As if we need to show people we're bi but monogamous.

@galaxychill9578 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think I would have a problem with polygamy (is that the word?) but not all bi people are

@paulquinn344 3 жыл бұрын

Not all men look down on women. I think women should express themselves for who they are. As a straight man, I do not look at women as sex objects, but as human beings deserving of my respect and love, no matter what they look like, who they love, who they worship or not, the color of their skin, where they come from. Oh and speaking as a 61 year old dad, you are beautiful and brave. My oldest daughter is BI, and I love her for all of who she is.

@katzagain2580 3 жыл бұрын

Awwwwwwww we need more people like you in this world

@smithsunleashed 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this

@tomomafuy Жыл бұрын

they way you present information and speak is so engaging to me! I didn't have to skip any of this video cause it was all really interesting

@toribarnes4739 3 жыл бұрын

I’m pansexual, and when I’ve come out to male partners in the past they’ll often say either “oh hot, you can date a woman too if you want,” or “okay, don’t leave me for a woman though,” as if faithful monogamy and bisexuality can’t coexist?? But the men who would be okay with their bisexual partner dating a woman (but would never be okay with them dating another man) don’t actually see WLW relationships as legitimate relationships, just a source of erotic material for themselves, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t think of it as cheating.

@toribarnes4739 3 жыл бұрын

@Constantia Jedehlfelt if my partner were generally non-monogamous then that would be different, but most men are okay with their girlfriends/wives being with women because, in their minds, it isn’t as serious as a man/woman relationship and therefor isn’t a “threat” to their existing relationship like a man would be. That’s what I’ve generally observed, anyways. 🤷‍♀️

@SibbaBerg 3 жыл бұрын

In all my previous relationships with men, my boyfriends have been completely ok with me making out with other girls at parties and things like that, it was just the norm for some reason. But when me and my now boyfriend of about 2 years started dating he was very clear in that if we were gonna be exclusive/official then I shouldn't make out with anyone. Not even girls at parties. And I was so surprised, because all my other boyfriends were so okay with it. But honestly I respected him a lot for it, because it means that he sees opposite-sex and same-sex relationships as completely equal and making out with someone else is making out with someone else and not ok. Simple as that. Getting the freedom to actively embrace your sexuality is neat. But the validation of your sexual identity just hits different.

@yadsewnde8699 3 жыл бұрын

Wow this and another comment about men not seeing wlw relationships as legitimate (so it's not a big deal) really deepened my understanding of misogyny. That sucks so much, as if a man is needed to validate someone's existence smh. The ignorance of people is truly baffling sometimes.

@marieschindler2561 3 жыл бұрын

While my relationship is now fully open, before I (f) was there mentally I would still have been more open about my partner seeking a sexual relationship with another man, not because it’s not real but because it’s an experience I can’t offer so it felt less like an replacement and more like an addition

@jazwragg 3 жыл бұрын

I remember being at a party, in a room with another bi girl, both of us just catching up bc we'd not spoken in a while. At the time we were both in relationships with guys. A guy walks into the room, sees us, knows our sexualities and the fact that we were in relationships with other people and yet he still asks us to kiss *and let him FILM IT* because "I just find two girls kissing so hot". Don't get me wrong we told him to fuck off but it ruined the whole vibe of our convo and we went back to the party. To him it was just a performance - if I'd kissed that girl I would have been as much a cheat as if I'd kissed a guy but since he only saw w/w relationships as entertainment for him he didn't even consider the fact that he was asking us both to cheat for his pleasure, his entertainment. He didn't even feel embarrassed for asking it, he felt fully confident in his request. Performative bisexuality pushes the narrative that my sexuality isn't MINE, it's for men. It's for their pleasure, their gratification, and it gives men the confidence to feel zero shame when trying to exploit real bisexual women. I'm not a fetish I'm a fucking person

@GirlDo3 3 жыл бұрын

It's also the fact that men don't respect women in general. No one would tell a heterosexual couple to make out because they respect men too much to be disrespectful.

@ZwarteKonijn 3 жыл бұрын

I've had that happen to me, in that I was chatting with a few guys and a girl about being bi, I did not know any of them really well, this girl told me she felt the same, the guys asked us to kiss each other and she kissed me without even asking or anything. I honestly felt kinda violated, and very pissed (it was my first kiss with a girl) it wasn't even because she liked me, but to give these guys a show. I'm still pissed at how everyone, even the girl, took it as something to do for the guys (that, or she took the opportunity to kiss me, but that doesn't make it any better).

@miaa1762 3 жыл бұрын

I would have been in jail that day if someone asked me that 🗿 I am underage and even I have been asked inappropriate questions online and offline about my sexuality (pan). It's like some people don't have common sense.

@ADerpyReality 3 жыл бұрын

Cheating is cheating.

@Michimich97 3 жыл бұрын

Damn

@kittylvr_ Жыл бұрын

Your vids are never a miss!!! I love how you confront problems as they are and give your honest and truthful insight on it. I also agree with the constant competition for male validation/gaze between straight women.

@belllovek 3 жыл бұрын

So glad I came across your page, more people need you in their life

@kennedybrown1098 3 жыл бұрын

Can we talk about when straight girls love mlm but HATE wlw

@MayaKosnikm 3 жыл бұрын

And the other way around for straight dudes hating mlm but loving wlw- like cant straight people not do that

@micahw746 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah girls shipping guys makes me uncomfortable cause it’s like they’re sexualizing guys just for being guys regardless of there sexuality

@nat5276 3 жыл бұрын

the fetishising is off the charts

@nsa4805 3 жыл бұрын

Say it louderrr 🔊 🔊

@isabellathomas9549 3 жыл бұрын

@@etheria8641 trueee I got called homophobic for not shipping BakuDeku (an I’m bi myself) but when I said that I shipped MomoJiro I got called weird like-

@lollabunyxxx 3 жыл бұрын

When I straight female artist does it is, "breaking boundaries", "revolutionary"," hot and sexy". But when an actual bi/pan (or any saphic) wants to express and embrace their sexuality, and talk about relationships with other women, the backlash is outrageous. I hope more actual bi/pan will make even more music reaffirming they're sexuality (loving independent of gender) and that we saphics get more space in the industry. Btw, your looks, girl... I'm here for it

@cynthiaanderson6410 3 жыл бұрын

I remember being so pissed off when I watched the Glee episode where Santana got outed or the one after and they sing ‘I Kissed a Girl’ which is basically the theme song for performative bisexuality/homosexuality.

@dc9067 3 жыл бұрын

@@cynthiaanderson6410 yeah, in front of all the guys who were probably turned on seeing their girlfriends acting gay (and Mr. Schuester the predator) Uh, everything always has to be done to please men 😧💀

@cynthiaanderson6410 3 жыл бұрын

@@dc9067 and Finn really thought he’d make the fact that he outed her to the entire conservative, homophobic state of Ohio by singing ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ 😭😭😭

@suchitalvarez2677 3 жыл бұрын

eg: shakira and rihanna in can't remember to forfwt you versus girl in red who just makes love music.. like everybody else...

@alexispicazo2897 3 жыл бұрын

Yes girl period go off, as a women that identifies as bisexual people think I’ll just end up with a man because that’s all I’ve been with, but when I talk about women and being in a relationship with a women people don’t wanna hear it or they act so surprised. I’m tired of the biphobia and sexualization of bi women especially, the media adds to the unrealistic expectation of us and it’s wrong

@cecoletti1 3 жыл бұрын

"I need more aha moments for bi people" Damn right. It's so fucking hard to find any good representation that's not sullied in some way (last-minute confirmations of bisexuality, fetishization of wlw relationships, 'coming out' as bi as 'just a step' to coming out as gay, etc). This was the first video I watched from your channel, but I'll be sticking around. Thank you for your work!

@JMac7395 3 жыл бұрын

Men dictate, women perpetuate. So many women are in denial about this because so many women benefit from it

@riotgrrrl8807 3 жыл бұрын

Love how the abbreviation "wlw" has more syllables than just saying "women loving women".

@crappyaccount 3 жыл бұрын

Okay wow I was so confused by your comment because I read that in my mind as: love how "dub•you•el•dub•you" (5) has more syllables than just saying "wo•men•lov•ing•wo•men" (6) It took me 3 or more re-reads to remember the letter is actually pronounced dou•ble•you and apparently I just have an accent I never noticed (I'm from the south so oof.)

@riotgrrrl8807 3 жыл бұрын

@@crappyaccount Haha, no worries, could´ve happened to anyone 🧡

@emogf295 3 жыл бұрын

hold up

@malachi8963 3 жыл бұрын

I'm surprised people ever pronounce it! I usually just type it and say women loving women in real life. and in my head it sounds like 'Wulwuh' y'know??

@nvmindem 3 жыл бұрын

i pronounce it wuluwuh

@taehyungoppa7208 3 жыл бұрын

Men just thinks everything revolves around them smh .....

@purrrr6081 3 жыл бұрын

Heterosexual men *

@kailamoore5331 3 жыл бұрын

Some. Generalizing doesn’t help.

@davidasamikwa8037 3 жыл бұрын

@@kailamoore5331 IF they aren't the men who think that, then they would let it slide.

@kailamoore5331 3 жыл бұрын

Oml

@g.sanchez2765 3 жыл бұрын

@@purrrr6081 some men*

@amberlee4218 3 жыл бұрын

i’m loving Tee’s GROWTH!! Yes girl! You deserve all of this and so much more 💕

@kristinastarnes305 2 жыл бұрын

Omg you really hit the nail on the head for me! This is why I suppressed my attraction as well cause I never was raised like it was wrong to be this way.. I just felt like people wouldn’t take me seriously or I was just like they said in the video “going through a phase” cause I heard it so much… but now I’m a happily and proud bisexual and I think you made so many great points here cause I felt the same way! Also thankfully my bf isn’t into the whole wlw thing. lol I will be following and checking out more videos! 💜

@ashleysoo9301 3 жыл бұрын

i always feel like there's an invisible "camera" on me, even when im fantasizing about a romantic scenario with a woman, i can still feel the male gaze on me there's like some man spying on me and no matter how I try i can never tear myself away from male validation.

@TheFeltonLover 3 жыл бұрын

saaaaaaame. absolute same. it’s so annoying.

@ibattibat5580 3 жыл бұрын

Wuuuut??! Sounds like ghost(s) yo!😃

@jaylove1931 3 жыл бұрын

Hey girl, same boat. I’m a 22 y/o straight woman and the past few months I realized that I rely heavily on male validation to feel like I have value or worth. I never heard the term “the male gaze” before this video but it’s so perfect to describe it. I unconsciously always feel like I am being judged by guys on my attractiveness and I need to look good doing anything (sitting, eating, brushing hair from my face, etc.). In every scenario I imagine myself in, it’s always from a male’s perspective and how he’s viewing me, like for example having fun with friends and me looking carefree and beautiful. It’s really all for his attention instead of authentically being in the moment and enjoying it for myself. I don’t blame myself, or any other women, for feeling this way, because society (patriarchy) has trained us to think this way. In the media, everything is for male satisfaction and attention. A female artist isn’t successful unless she has sex appeal, because sex appeals to men. It’s hard to get out of this way of thinking as I’ve done it subconsciously for so long. But I’m making progress :) I catch myself doing it now. I am working on being present with myself and making the “gaze” from my own perspective. Not thinking about how attractive I look doing things and not giving af if it looks good to men or anyone.

@ibattibat5580 3 жыл бұрын

@@jaylove1931 wutsa trip is d@ dudz do da same 4 d females' attn 2😀always makin sure we lookin "gud" &/or "attractive" @ any given moment. Yeah, we do dis shit! We prob don't go(n gen) 2 far in2 details like makeup, skin, & primpin coz d@ n itself may seem less masculine(again n gen), but we do. guess it's lokstep yo! 😊

@ashleysoo9301 3 жыл бұрын

@@jaylove1931 I feel the exact same way. no matter if it's a romantic situation or if I'm doing mundane things I'm constantly performing and not doing it just for my own enjoyment. I feel like I can't just "exist" and it gets so tiring after a while. I feel like we will never be able to know for sure whether we have been liberated from the male gaze but at least we could try

@sophiabarsness2526 3 жыл бұрын

My mom told me I only said I was bi because it’s popular which really hurt because I spent MONTHS making sure I wasn’t thinking I was bi because on a subconscious level I wanted to be popular. I felt like a bad person because I was terrified it was me subconsciously wanted to be popular

@dreamingofthemoon 3 жыл бұрын

I am literally so afraid that I'm just a "fake bi" that's perpetuating the stigma

@dreamingofthemoon 3 жыл бұрын

But when I imagine myself in a wlw relationship I don't think about men or being popular but just about a girl loving me so I hope my feelings are true

@teddiespicker 3 жыл бұрын

I WOULD JUST SLAP MY MOM.

@cherrykid161 3 жыл бұрын

My mom says that too🥲