Society vs. The "Average" Looking Black Woman
Рет қаралды 1,061,955
2 жыл бұрынHi everyone, welcome back! In today's video I'm discussing desirability politics in the context of Black women. I'm exploring everything from featurism to exotification and examining how these standards are upheld both inter and intraculturally. Let me know what you think!
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Media I consumed in prep for this video:
VIDEOS:
'Megan Thee Stallion & the politics of desirability' by Khadija Mbowe
• Megan Thee Stallion & ...
'Eh pretty privilege isn’t substantial but desirability politics is' by Teanna
• Video
'I'm Black...Not ✨Black✨| The Societal Beauty Standard for Black Women by Ty Talks
• Video
ARTICLES/BLOG POSTS:
'Desirability: Do You Really Love Fat People When You Can't Even See Us Beyond the Political' by Da'Shaun Harrison
dashaunharrison.com/desirabil...
'What are the Politics of Desirability?' by Tristan
urge.org/what-are-the-politic...
'Colorism, Feauturism, and Texturism' by Fatoumata Drammeh
mcsmrampage.com/2021/01/fatou...
'Average Acceptance Now' by Quinta Brunson
www.playboy.com/read/quinta-b...
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@elanadavis355 2 жыл бұрын
Now why did you do Quinta like that in the thumbnail??? Lol
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
I could've chosen almost anyone, but Quinta came to mind first bc last year she did an interview with Playboy talking about average acceptance and it really stuck out to me. Here's the link if you wanna check it out: www.playboy.com/read/quinta-brunson
@n_u_r_i 2 жыл бұрын
i think its a cute picture lol
@SuiteVII 2 жыл бұрын
Being overlooked isnt anyone’s fault. Folks eyes really do be primed for European features
@elanadavis355 2 жыл бұрын
@@TeeNoir hey thank you for dropping that link. I didnt know she wrote about this!
@louenatnine51 2 жыл бұрын
@@TeeNoir It's not you choosing Quinta, it's the picture you chose lol
@mochimochi6357 2 жыл бұрын
Asian doll's eyes aren't ambiguous, the confusion about black women with almond/slanted eyes comes from a lack of representation of darkskinned black women. Those eyes are an EXTREMELY common african feature
@j.baldwin3012 2 жыл бұрын
@@art_n_craps4361 Africans with blue and green eyes aren't common. Actually, those eyes aren't common for the human race, brown eyes and dark hair are the dominant features for the human race. It's like 7' basketball players - they exist, but for most of the human race it is odd.
@RedFlyingFox007 2 жыл бұрын
@@art_n_craps4361 Isn't the issue the picking and choosing of which African features get hyped and which don't also an issue. Like if you wanna hype green eyes and small pointed noses go on head but you know well that the wide bell pepper noses and brown eyes aren't getting the same love.
@estherbalogun8092 2 жыл бұрын
I agree I’m African specifically Nigerian and many people that are from there have those type of eyes that they like to call “Asian eyes” lol All Asians don’t even have these type of eyes. My sister has them and the singer Brandy has them too, both completely black 😭
@joe_mama_ 2 жыл бұрын
No lol those eyes r mostly found in some tribes in South Africa. It’s not EXTREMELY common. It’s just a feature that a sect of Africans have.
@SolUFO 2 жыл бұрын
@@joe_mama_ nope. I'm Nigerian and I've been told "you have asian eyes". Not really that rare
@mermaidprettymuch 2 жыл бұрын
As an older woman, I remember “the scale”. The darker you were, the prettier you “had” to be. And the lighter you were, the “uglier” you were allowed to be just because your DNA carried lighter skin.
@patricebostick-lugo176 2 жыл бұрын
Wow thats cray. But imagine being me a medium brown girl with a light skinned twin sister. My complexion compared to her automatically made me the less cute less desireable one. And to this day ive had to work harder and be smarter and more attractive to make it and all shes had to do is show up. Its amazing how something so small has such an impact on peoples perception of you without even knowing u.
@MzLaDonna75 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@kittimoore9034 2 жыл бұрын
Sooo true
@josen4real5 2 жыл бұрын
You ain't never lied!
@Laura-sg6ss 2 жыл бұрын
Mhmm
@deblag5992 4 ай бұрын
As a black man, this was so real. Especially growing up. I loved the “Quinta’s” of my school. The natural haired black girls who just were. But god forbid you tell your home boy’s you’re crushing on one of them instead of the “baddies.”
@deblag5992 3 ай бұрын
@@TheWhyteDevil yeah cause a 10-15 year old is choosing his friends very wisely. Shut up
@Tiychristianelmorenoguapo Ай бұрын
@@deblag5992understandable brother pay this CHILD no mind 🗿🤙🏽
@gantzuka Ай бұрын
Yeah that natural hair don't look appealing nowadays. That shit look like a bag of dirty ass cotton. Like cotton that's be dunked in old ass engine grease, rolled around in the dirt and tossed into a dryer with paper that got left in your pocket.
@christy2252 20 күн бұрын
@@deblag5992 So true. That’s what I see from all the highschool boys. Black girls can’t be natural.
@ebonymurphy-root9564 13 күн бұрын
@@deblag5992 Why, because he told the truth?
@kurvykayla7072 2 жыл бұрын
“Attraction can’t be forced… but it can be manipulated.” A Gem. 💎
@Erica-cf1xb 9 ай бұрын
Bingo and people fall into the lion's den everyday and get sucked dry and burned at the same damn time. Gotta love hell.
@WvsKaLeL 6 ай бұрын
african based features favor the man.. the genetics of the lower jaw protruding out (Big underBite) is masculine.. Men like girls with small jawLine.. add in bad hair and nasty looking vagina and asshole.. what do u expect?..
@TLW369 3 ай бұрын
That part! ❤️👏
@lauraojeleye5025 3 ай бұрын
😊@@Erica-cf1xb
@prehistoriccreature1800 25 күн бұрын
If you're black u can't manipulate anything
@jennvca 2 жыл бұрын
a few days ago I saw a post where they were like, "let's uplift dark-skinned black women" then they proceeded to show only a PARTICULAR type of dark-skinned black woman that looks like Ryan Destiny and Naomi Campbell...that's the pinnacle of featurism for me
@nherty6172 2 жыл бұрын
That's like most "black women empowerment" pages. They promote only a section section of dark skinned women.
@greatestindanationwide8332 2 жыл бұрын
@@nherty6172 that’s wrong tbh those are examples of attractive black women there’s no such thing as featurism
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, say it louder
@piccolopagalingling6284 2 жыл бұрын
@@greatestindanationwide8332 in entertainment, black women with "white" features (usually face shapes and eyes... and especially noses for whatever reason) are the ones usually celebrated and seen as beautiful. take a look through an instagram feed and see how many people with non-european features you find
@anad.7428 2 жыл бұрын
@@greatestindanationwide8332 I- Wait did u even watch the video?
@tilmook 2 жыл бұрын
Black women always need to have a full face of makeup and need to be sexy man eaters in order to be pretty. But a “basic” or normal looking black woman is always overlooked. A white woman always has a movie about her being normal and shy, and never having makeup, and wearing baggy clothes. I see black girls like that EVERYWHERE and they don’t get nearly enough attention like they do. I can’t wait for the day till the day I can wear a simple outfit and be deemed sexy without trying. Edit: Not once did I say I wanted nor NEEDED the exception from others to be pretty. Second, stop blaming black women for problems that we didn’t start. It’s like y’all forget racism isnt the root to all this. Lastly, those who aren’t black women need to stop giving your input into something you can’t relate to. Thank you
@Driveright698 2 жыл бұрын
That's weird, I'm a black woman and when I dress down and do less I get more attention from other races. I guess everyone's experience is different.
@FuuTails 2 жыл бұрын
Plz just shut up!
@unfazedjae2645 2 жыл бұрын
@@FuuTails why watch a video like this if you are going to be combative. You are one of those “not everything is about race” ppl.
@marimaa93 2 жыл бұрын
Why are u so obsessed with if other people find you sexy or not 😭😭 cry me a river
@shawda.the.butterfly9618 2 жыл бұрын
@@marimaa93 someone didn't get that..societally almost everyone cares ab standards whether they tell u or not, black women shouldnt get treated as if succumbing to those standards is the worst thing bc they can be unlearned
@anuncolonizedmind6296 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a 43 try old black woman, I'll share this DO NOT seek approval from outside of yourself. DO NOT let society tell u who or what u are should to do or look like. We only get so many days on earth, DO NOT waste them worrying abt this. We are not our body, we are a soul that inhabits a body. Ppl spends so much time worrying about the outside.. instead of the inside. Stop comparing yourself to the next person & be happy with who u are. We were put on earth for a purpose & must ppl never live theirs bc they are too busy worrying about looks & other superficial thing.
@emon4866 2 жыл бұрын
Well said
@nerdgurl402 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for saying this. It’s really hard to live in a society without letting it get to you. I’m getting there.
@outoftheordinary2k 2 жыл бұрын
💯💞
@earlem9771 2 жыл бұрын
Don’t forget that we all should seek to be the best version of ourselves including physical health.
@bernicewise8313 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly! These earthly bodies will soon be no more.
@VivianArthurs 2 жыл бұрын
As a biracial person who got all my daddy's black features and my mama's skin, i can 100% confirm featurism is real and unfair. Grew up with hispanic aunties telling me to put clothespins on my nose to make it less wide
@nileriver1632 2 жыл бұрын
now what the hell were they thinking telling u that🤨. that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard. so sad
@marie-francoiset9402 2 жыл бұрын
@@nileriver1632 they were trying to get her to reshape her nose so that as she grew her nose wouldnt. It's akin to foot binding. The body is malleable when young, not so much when older (I'm not saying what they said was good, but simply answering your question of what were they thinking)
@jblaze44469 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe its my own self hate, but i always thought wider bridges were more attractive. it is a damn shame we dont see more variety of shades and features on our screens
@nileriver1632 2 жыл бұрын
@@marie-francoiset9402 damn. that’s so gross
@marie-francoiset9402 2 жыл бұрын
@@nileriver1632 well yeah. but i feel the poster's comment really speaks to identity issues. not so much them trying to shape her nose. Doesn't sound like she was accepted in her family. Latinos seem to reject anything identifiably black
@mphorebo 2 жыл бұрын
"Africana Grande"- demolished me😩💀
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
You know how long I been waiting to use that one lmao
@tonymontana9754 2 жыл бұрын
la gran africana?
@selwatchesyt 2 жыл бұрын
Or Awkwafina 🤭🤭🤭🤭
@whitneyegbe6442 2 жыл бұрын
@@lyn8704 no she grew up in a middle class predominantly Asian neighborhood
@kokolatte825 2 жыл бұрын
@@lyn8704 who cares where she grew up? Where does "fina" come from? Serafina? That's not particularly "hood", it's African and she ain't African.
@jackieaina 2 жыл бұрын
I have SO many thoughts on this topic, especially on the exotification and fetishization of dark skinned Black women and how the standards/expectations of how we’re supposed to show up and present ourselves are def MUCH higher for us. your video was so eloquently summarized!!!!
@jay1603 2 жыл бұрын
Society very much expects dark skinned black women to come out of the womb full glam, outfit on point
@Blaquebarbgamer 2 жыл бұрын
@@jay1603 Yeah we can’t just…be
@locustproachin6052 2 жыл бұрын
Society either hates to see you be normal and dark skin or they'll adore you if you fall for their clown ass "step on me dommy mommy" shit, bc for some reason people can only love black people in the form of fetishism
@TrulyMademoizelle 2 жыл бұрын
Can we say your take on this in a video?
@nneoma4091 2 жыл бұрын
I agree
@anajuliapedrosa8303 2 жыл бұрын
Could you talk more about the pressure black women feel to fit that standard of being thicc and having a big butt? Because I see so so many videos of girls lining up to get their BBLs done and most of them are black. And honestly I keep thinking about how they're being "manipulated" in some form by the media because that's their definition (the media's definition) of an attractive black woman, to fit that idea of a pear shaped body.
@honorthyskin6486 2 жыл бұрын
I think out of necessity to push back against the eurocentric standard of beauty, many black women have adopted the idea that most black women are well endowed and whilst it may be true for some, it definitely does leave some in the dark. There's a lot to be picked apart with the whole black features thing when it comes to black women because I ultimately think it is made to support the idea of hyperfemininity in black women.
@haiiiyall5465 2 жыл бұрын
In high school, some girls would pick me apart for not having a big butt. Because in their eyes either you have a big butt or you have no butt. And I remember them saying that no one would want me because of my body. With that being said I was very insecure, and I remember forcing myself to wear shorts under my pants to make my butt look bigger , or to do squats so that way I can get more attention . But now as I am older I recognize that some stuff is a trend. I remember when having a big butt wasn’t a trend. My advice is to remember how vital it is to love your self, your features anything god gave you because he don’t make mistakes. So love the body that you are in, and to recognize that changing your body for attention isn’t healthy at all.
@aisha-3857 2 жыл бұрын
Bc black women are only praised when they are thick
@earlem9771 2 жыл бұрын
@@aisha-3857 not true. Attractive black woman are always praised as long as they are in good physical shape (capable of running without effort and having a flat stomach). Nobody wants thick obese women later on in life.
@definitelytre3649 2 жыл бұрын
Crazy thing, we get bbls and yet not look at as humans🤷🏽♀️Outer cultural and inner cultural
@CuriosityRover77 2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking about this the other day with the "black women luxury" hashtag or any hashtag about luxurious black living. They pretty much ALL wear straight or slightly wavy weaves and wigs and if it is curly its looser type 3 or 4a curls.. Why are we associating 'upper class' living with straight hair?? Do they think kinky hair is "lower class"?
@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 2 жыл бұрын
Or maybe the the women with 4c hair whom lives in luxury can start vlogging their luxurious life styles?!?! I don't understand why some try to shame others on how they express themselves. If you see a lack of something and want to see more of what you see lacking or not being represented, then YOU be that change instead of trying to force others to mold to how you want them to present
@CuriosityRover77 2 жыл бұрын
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 1)Commentary isn't shame that's quite the stretch. I'm simply making an observation. 2)Most of these girls like Nikki Thot DO have 4c hair who again CHOOSE TO WEAR STRAIGHT HAIR instead of their natural curl pattern which is what my commentary is on. I myself always rock my wash and go 😉 3)So again my question is WHY do they feel the need to do that instead of rocking their natural hair? Is it societal pressure? Are they associating European beauty standards to mean luxury? 4)Show me where I'm forcing anyone to do anything 🤣 5)Don't like your own comments. That's cringey.
@darcyliliana4907 2 жыл бұрын
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 girl your username is a whole red flag
@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 2 жыл бұрын
@@darcyliliana4907 That means you're insecure. I'm proud to be boney🤷🏽
@darcyliliana4907 2 жыл бұрын
@@WelcometoDeathrowbishes118 fun fact I am skinny. You just have a superiority complex.
@KhadijaMbowe 2 жыл бұрын
Okay but for real, I think about this all the time in terms of how feautirism intersects with dark skin. Because a lot of the dark-skinned Black women that get praised for being beautiful/gorgeous have features that more closely resemble European features. Gonna let myself go away and gather more thoughts but excited to watch the other parts whenever you feel like dropping them!
@Grace_Zandile97 2 жыл бұрын
Preach...I was thinking the exact same thing
@Grace_Zandile97 2 жыл бұрын
I just finished watching your video on gossip girl. I loved it especially emphasizing adults playing teens. " investment in beige"
@Isism899 2 жыл бұрын
Ivzz can
@MissPoplarLeaf 2 жыл бұрын
This, 100%. Most of the nonwhite people who are widely touted as beautiful or become big models have Europeanish features, even if they have relatively dark skin.
@Gabbame11 2 жыл бұрын
I remember when you made this comment in one of your videos about Lupito Nyong'o and my mind was 🤯. And it applies to other non-white races that are most glamourized, they tend to have more "western features"
@skyrab87 2 жыл бұрын
That's exactly why I love Issa Rae. To watch "awkward black girl" and "insecure" I found someone that I can relate to and felt better about not being put together all the time.
@stateyourthesis 2 жыл бұрын
Same!
@ladygundiva5779 2 жыл бұрын
Yes! Her book was also hilarious and relatable.
@EsperanzaHeidiCampbell 2 жыл бұрын
!!!!
@chanelagaintv 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I loved awkward black girl because it was finally something I can relate to.
@honorarytomboy8826 2 жыл бұрын
She’s gone through the same beautification process. In her ABG days she was average but now she’s desirable.
@vandalsavage2074 Жыл бұрын
As a light skinned black man with light colored eyes, I've experienced this societal rewarding for certain features that people wouldn't deem "black" via backhanded compliments such as "you gotta be mixed with something" or they just assume iam a different ethnicity all together. When I infact am undeniably black. So thank you for shining a light on this topic for those who would be concerned
@flowerforsyte5671 7 ай бұрын
A lot of Igbos have this.
@BriaBarrows Жыл бұрын
I definitely think “average” looking women are overlooked. Sadly
@KhadijaMbowe 2 жыл бұрын
Guess who's black in the housssseeeee!! Now lemme pause this editing and get my chai tea latte set up.
@paigebutler5721 2 жыл бұрын
Hey hey boo boo. U know I’m watchin this
@tala67833 2 жыл бұрын
khadija hello my love i’m a big fan❤️❤️❤️
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
The way I was also drinking chai tea when I was watching your desirability politics vid lmao
@Grace_Zandile97 2 жыл бұрын
Every since Tee Noir mentioned you. I have been hooked on a weekly basis watching your videos
@siyamthandakutu 2 жыл бұрын
Okay, I live for this interaction right here
@kdoris2001 2 жыл бұрын
Why can’t black women just exists. We are not a monolith. Black women seem to only be acceptable in society when we look like the Naomi Campbell prototype aka runway model (thin, slim facial features, always made up 24/7)
@LoXena 2 жыл бұрын
Or when we are slim-thick aka extra small waist, extra large booty and hips. Obviously there's nothing in between that is acceptable.
@idamiller133 2 жыл бұрын
No their are asiatic africans anyways. Just likw there are black blondes in the pacific islands. So thats not a argument
@kwamebushman606 2 жыл бұрын
@@idamiller133 wait what 😂😂
@aisha-3857 2 жыл бұрын
No one thinks obesity is cute
@luv4cxlia 2 жыл бұрын
frr
@nzingabandida981 2 жыл бұрын
Why do people of West African descent think having small, slanted eyes means they have ancestors of other ethnicity ? This feature is VERY common in West Africa. I met a black girl from guyana who thought a slanted eyes and high cheekbones probably came from some indigenous ancestors, that's until she met me, cause homegirl looked exactly like me, just with a lighter complexion.
@blameitoncapitalism 2 жыл бұрын
Guyana is in America (referring here to the whole continent) tho, in South America. maybe she does has Indigenous ancestors she don't know about, which is extremely common down in here.
@nzingabandida981 2 жыл бұрын
@@blameitoncapitalism I know Guyana is in south America. I know the woman probably has white and indigenous in her DNA too. The point of the comment was to say that she didn't need to attribute her eye shape to some long lost indigenous ancestor because her black ancestors had this eye shape too.
@lareinadivestinesa2184 2 жыл бұрын
@Kami K Exactly
@izahra1997 2 жыл бұрын
This is true. I'm Guyanese from Black family that looks 100% African. Some people there are mixed with South Asian, European, or Amerindian (what Guyanese people call the indigenous people). In my own family, we did the Ancestry DNA test and had some European and a tiny percentage of Amerindian. Sometimes people will assume if a black girl is pretty, her features have to be attributed to non-African heritage. It's ignorance and a generalization that African features are ugly and less than all other races.
@kevinmack6459 Жыл бұрын
We wouldn't know about Africa we are indigenous to the land here Washitaw nation
@Megamimd 2 жыл бұрын
It’s so interesting how this phenomenon is also widely present in south Asian society as well.Women with “average” features who are light are automatically seen as beautiful but darker women literally have to be outstandingly beautiful to even compare.Even then,it’s still “she’s pretty for a dark skinned girl”.
@seacucumber5021 3 ай бұрын
Yes that's how i think
@kelseyrobinson1917 2 жыл бұрын
We really don't have an equivalent of the "messy hair don't care" "no makeup makeup" "I woke up like this" white girl look, do we? Every Black girl inspo on Pinterest looks like _work._ EDIT: For the people commenting "well I can do it, don't see why it's so hard" or "just believe in your beauty!" you're not who this is for, and it doesn't make the observation any less useful or prevalent. I made it from my POV because I have thick 4c hair that isn't easily pineapple-d and skin hyperpigmentation, and I feel I have to do more "work" to look traditionally put-together because of it.
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
Yeen tellin no lies
@TheAyisyenne 2 жыл бұрын
The closest thing i can think of would be the black girl with pineapple puff with, no laid edges and no makeup but even that's not an image that's promoted.
@edithputhy4948 2 жыл бұрын
Zendaya has that look in Spiderman
@junejean1038 2 жыл бұрын
@@edithputhy4948 Zendya is lightskinned and biracial. She's still black but she exists in a very different realm than monoracial and darkskin women do.
@chrissiec2123 2 жыл бұрын
@@junejean1038 Zendaya is not black. Mixed does not equal black. Mixed is mixed, black is black.
@FredericChen 2 жыл бұрын
WE MISSED YOU
@JoyCassi 2 жыл бұрын
Yes we did 🙌🏿
@silu3737 2 жыл бұрын
frederic chen commenting on tee's video is the crossover i needed ✋😩
@JulianSteve 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly. I am happy that she’s back🥺‼️
@MandingoAfricano 2 жыл бұрын
I WAS SUFFOCATING I NEEDED SOMETHING
@welikelethabo 2 жыл бұрын
Indeeeeed
@MelSpeaksMD 2 жыл бұрын
What you said about Issa putting “regular” women on the forefront as desirable characters was spot on and * I love her * for it. It’s so frustrating to see that black women always have to crank up the raunch (*and flowing extensions*) to be seen as desirable whereas the Taylor Swifts in Hollywood get to be themselves. Other artists get to lead with their talent whereas black women have to lead with sex appeal despite being equally if not more talented than their counterparts.
@soleil4124 2 жыл бұрын
A word!!!! There is not one "wholesome" fully black woman mainstream artist out right now... It could have been CholexHallie, but they've changed. I can only think of Willow Smith maybe...
@linolino333 Жыл бұрын
I agree with u. Av noticed that when it comes to us black women even in terms of fashion in order to be considered stylish or sexy, the clothes are always vulgar, too tight, too short, ass hanging out. But women of other races will dress up classy n modest. Too much sexualization. Go even on pinterest n see the black girl fashion, it's mostly vulgar. Is that the only time we are considered attractive??
@Queenn928 Жыл бұрын
Yes thank you
@mi3helle707 2 жыл бұрын
Also, a lot of black women become hyper feminine to try and change the perception that we are masculine and undesirable. However, this back fires when they just want to be regular - "they fell off" or then it becomes their personality with the inclusion of hypersexuality and glamorisation aswell. You actually can't win. It's a catch 22 situation.
@mimi.b868 2 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏👏
@lindalnd90 2 жыл бұрын
What is "hyperfeminine"? I don't understand the term.
@kernaishaxoxo 2 жыл бұрын
@@lindalnd90 hyperfeminism is when women “who are feminine in their own right” go out of our way and alter your appearance, personality and mannerisms in a way they are seen as “more feminine or the epitome of femininity”.
@tajsimms8976 2 жыл бұрын
Another discussion that should be had is why is the black woman stereotypical personality favored on everyone but black women
@mi3helle707 2 жыл бұрын
@@tajsimms8976 How do you mean, please explain further.
@CaseyMae000 2 жыл бұрын
i appreciate this sm!! sometimes i struggle with the fact that i’m “average” but when you start looking outside of social media you realize how common being average is
@FuuTails 2 жыл бұрын
Everything on the internet is Exaggerated
@Driveright698 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, please stop comparing yourself. It's literally self sabotage.
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
So common! And it's not a bad thing at all
@froyokid 2 жыл бұрын
Girl 99% of those girls in social media are average too! I saw with my own eyes what a lace front, 15mm lashes, a ring light, filter, and Facetune can do 🤣 that is literally the formula. Don’t believe me? Try it! Then you look in their tagged photos and see how they look in real life is NORMAL. I used an Insta filter with no makeup on and looked like all of those “baddies” smh
@Jenna1394 2 жыл бұрын
80% of people are average, hardly anyone is hideous or gorgeous. The world caters to the average in every way: balance.
@cramps3677 2 жыл бұрын
Girl it was OTHER BLACK PEOPLE calling those women ugly.
@khulisomaanda3595 2 жыл бұрын
As a black dark skinned woman Living in an Asian country, I totally agree/relate 😃 I know I’m late on this discussion but I’m here looking for some courage coz on this side of the world it’s tough
@indieu6035 2 жыл бұрын
I understand @khuliso. I encourage to remind yourself of your worth by visiting channels like this, watching and reading content that reflects the beauty you are within and without. Having actively melanated skin, the natural bio-technology within that gives you a connection with the elements: sun and earth, is ignorantly derogatized as society was propped up on destructive ideas meant to demonize Nature...all forms of Nature in its Natural state. So trust, that you are simply a reminder in homogenous societies, that have planted the seed of internal self-hate into the minds of their populace to their detriment. Remain gracefully strong, find others to speak with about the challenges you experience so you have community to support your much needed existence. I am grateful that you are alive Khuliso.
@BZ4MENT Жыл бұрын
Ik I’m probably late on this comment, but Keep pushing, I hope things are goin good for you, if they’re not , hopefully they get better❗️🖤
@gayanngodfrey2824 10 ай бұрын
You are beautiful
@BluBerryPi 4 ай бұрын
Black girl, recently moved to Asia and i feel this so much
@Thesilentvoice... 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve noticed that every other race except for black women can be seen as anything but still accepted as a women/girl. They can be Tom boys, Emo, athletic, hip, grungy/street, hood, loud and expressive, sexy, smart, artistic, geeky etc and still be seen as feminine and girly. But with black women and girls there is a huge stereotype about us being one thing (loud, aggressive, sexualised) and if you don’t meet above standards (look and act a certain way) then you aren’t looked at as a women/girl or feminine. I think black people are too critical on themselves and because there are black girls who act the stereotype that gets branded to all black girls. There’s nothing wrong with having a variety of black girls and woman with different characters, no matter how you look or act you should still be seen as a woman because you are one.
@lauralarson3111 2 жыл бұрын
Well stated. On August 6, 2021, I did the big chop and immediately my mom put me in braids. I'm scared that if I wear my natural hair I won't be seen as a girl; especially due to the fact that I always wear pants. I'm really sad because I see non-black girls doing the same thing and being seen as female. Right now, I'm just wishing for the best.
@astoldbynickgerr 2 жыл бұрын
@@lauralarson3111 damn. I can relate so much! I literally get so much anxiety about wearing my short hair naturally because of how I’ll be perceived.
@LadyAstarionAncunin 2 жыл бұрын
That's the problem with having other people control the narrative. While we're fighting each other, black folks need to be focused on taking control of our image and protecting our cultures.
@lauralarson3111 2 жыл бұрын
@@LadyAstarionAncunin Yes, black women are trying but I don't know about the majority of black men..
@TheLeah2344 2 жыл бұрын
I heard someone judge a black woman as a “ hood chick “ before he even met her just because she had tattoos in her pictures. He doesn’t even know her.
@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 2 жыл бұрын
"But her nose ruins her face" Can't people just say someone is pretty and move on?
@LadyAstarionAncunin 2 жыл бұрын
It's sad to say, but I have to because it seems that most of the time female celebrities get work done, but I sometimes find myself hoping Meg doesn't get her nose done. She looks beautiful with/without makeup, and her nose is a part of that. It also makes her look like her dad, so I'd hope she'd want to keep that part of her (and him) intact. But you just never know.
@tiffany2718 2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately not, they always gotta sneak in that snide part of the comment that shows how they really feel.
@samanthatheegr8 2 жыл бұрын
I agree bc I don't see many white noses that I like. Their nostrils that are quite narrow actually freak me out. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.
@Deniseessex222 2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE how you talked about the foreign phase. When I met my husband I use to say proudly, I’m just black. And he would get annoyed like “you’re not a color”. Finally, I explained the girls where I came from were ALWAYS anything but black. Indian in their family, Hawaiian, biracial... and on and on. It took me so long to be proud growing up. Now... I’m just honored to be black mixed with black 💋❤️‼️
@HelloSasha707 2 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean. I’m a dark-skinned black girl and for so long, I felt I had to let everyone know that I had Creole in my family. Because it made me “better” or in close proximity to being “mixed”. While there was nothing wrong with loving the other ethnicities that have made you, I noticed a pattern amongst black people who resembled me. It was almost as if they (and I) seemed more proud of their Puerto Rican side, Filipino side etc than their blackness. Like they (we) went out of their (our) way to let everyone know that they (we) weren’t ‘all the way black’. Hair wasn’t as nappy as *other black people. Skin wasn’t as dark as *other black people. I see it all the time. It’s been a journey but I feel that I’m growing to love my blackness and not trying to hide behind it.
@kel-A-3414 Жыл бұрын
Going nuts over a baby's features is wild. Blaming the mom is another level💀
@ladilikeki1725 2 жыл бұрын
So many of us Black women “know” exactly what you’re saying in this video… we just didn’t know how to put it into words if that makes sense. The video is so eloquently put and thought out. Thanks for bringing attention to this matter 🥰
@papaya477 2 жыл бұрын
took the words out of my mouth
@icoleman150 2 жыл бұрын
Actually correct
@icoleman150 2 жыл бұрын
@Tyler B #2 hey troll
@annmariejarrell8240 2 жыл бұрын
Love this. I remember being a Jamaican Black Girl in America in 1976... & it wasnt nice .. had to fight everybody cause it wasn't cute to have an accent. Fast forward 15 years & everybody thinks it's "Exotic" Pure BS..we ALL are BLACK.
@wendo5157 2 жыл бұрын
It also doesn't help that men are more cruel towards women whom they deem less attractive.
@SoftNSpicey 2 жыл бұрын
ok can we talk about this! Let's teach our boys to be respectful to women even if they aren't attracted to them bc this is an actual problem.
@wendo5157 2 жыл бұрын
@@SoftNSpicey I totally agree with you.
@BoMaBriGgs 2 жыл бұрын
BOOM and don't forget Mother's and Aunty's that use your weight as talking points. Being attractive is something I've assigned to be a survival need at a bare minimum.
@pearlngozi2818 2 жыл бұрын
@@BoMaBriGgs I love this statement. It's so true. Studies have shown that being attractive in life has benefited people greatly and how they can easily navigate life as a result of that.
@BoMaBriGgs 2 жыл бұрын
@@pearlngozi2818 It's an absolute fact.
@leliel3491 2 жыл бұрын
Feauturism was an issue brought to my attention a few years back within the art community. Artists who only drew a certain kind of person - primarily a white person - would try to draw a black person or an Asian person, and you could tell they had no references or didn’t care to adapt the facial structure to the ethnicity. I would see other artists pointing this out, as you could clearly tell they drew big eyes, small nose, and primarily Eurocentric features and just slapped a brown skin tone on the character. They would say to be more aware whenever you draw an ethnicity you’re not used to, because it could either look like the aforementioned result or a caricature. The issue is rooted in the fact that many white artists think that white features are just the “default,” perpetuating racist ideology that only white is beautiful or accepted. I wasn’t even aware of this until I got into high school and started looking beyond the scope of whiteness in my work, becoming more aware of the diversity in this world. I begin familiarizing myself with different features, ethnicities, skin tones, and hair types not just to diversify my work, but to be more aware and informed. I wanted to reassure you that people recognizing featurism isn’t quite brand new. A lot of artists are aware of it and have at least been aware of it for the last five years. It’s an incredibly damaging phenomenon that I remain cognizant about in my own work and the work around me - and as a white artist, I hope I can combat that phenomenon by remaining so and educating others on it.
@bnalogunbibs Жыл бұрын
Well said! This was something I had to change myself as an artist
@ALLAHDRINKSCUM 2 ай бұрын
Are you talking about artists in Japan? What about malasian artist? Lol you're a whole fool my guy. Do yourself a favor, pick up some books and start reading.
@LaylaAClark Жыл бұрын
"attraction cannot be forced but it can absolutely be manipulated" -- she said it once and she said it again
@Chuuzus 2 жыл бұрын
the way society loves to drag black women’s body and features but love to see black women’s features on non-black women and white women e.g the kardashians
@aa-gn6zn 2 жыл бұрын
@Saltybee society loves to pick and choose poc’s features (esp black women’s) and decide when they are attractive, or not
@henrdnemdj5271 2 жыл бұрын
Nobody is doing that tbh most BW simply are not attractive. Any race can have curves and big lips African people do not own those features
@nherty6172 2 жыл бұрын
@@henrdnemdj5271 will you gtfo. Who even invited you to blk women's business. Some of your yt people love being in a blk woman's business. Shut up with "preference".
@greatestindanationwide8332 2 жыл бұрын
@Saltybee fox eyes is not mimicking East Asian eyes at all. It’s trying to achieve almond eyes not East Asian eyes
@BellesView 2 жыл бұрын
@chuuzus Especially curves and lips. But never the nose and hair texture.
@brianawalker9880 2 жыл бұрын
Glamorization is DEFINITELY an issue. The money we’re expected to spend on hair, nails, lashes, brows, two piece outfits from fashion nova to CONSTANTLY look like a how girl. Then we literally put each other down if we aren’t all the way “put together” ... it’s all so annoying. **EDIT: One thing I DO NOT stand for, is ANYONE coming for my people PERIOD. So if you crawl under ~MY~ comment coming at Black WOMEN, MEN, CHILDREN, TRANS, OR OTHER - I promise imma come straight for your neck. Now, have a blessed day ☺️🌺**
@MomMadness1 2 жыл бұрын
even with the little babies. A little black baby girl cannot have wild and free hair. It must always be "done"
@PrincessYonna1 2 жыл бұрын
That’s drag queen not glamorous. Glamorous bw are soft, delicate, beautiful, and look expensive, not looking extremely scary with those exaggerated looks. I just can’t believe bw are now whining because they should look put together. Whining about wearing sleep wear in public. Y’all ruin your own image than blame others. U go outside looking like that and post yourself on the internet looking a mess than get mad cause your stereotyped , than u try to turn around and prove a point that not all bw are lazy and blah blah blah well what is it .
@serenity2655 2 жыл бұрын
Girl!
@octavianjoseph8633 2 жыл бұрын
Totally. Its annoying and I'm surprised not many people have caught on.
@AlciesWorld 2 жыл бұрын
its so much money! and that's after the pay gap like its wild out here!
@lailaauto33 2 жыл бұрын
Not black, but I am a brown indigenous person and I do see many of these issues with Indigenous women too. Indigenous women who are praised in the media (when they are), are usually the standard of *western* and *white* beauty, something that you don't see if you actually go visit actual indigenous tribes. All indigenous people are beautiful, but society forgets those who don't fit into the white western standard.
@hashiyahamatullah8698 4 ай бұрын
They count on people forgetting the Dawes Act and "$5 Indians"
@alisharo58 2 жыл бұрын
So funny because I intentionally refuse to listen to artists with names alluding to be light skin, Asian, etc. It just seems so cringe to me
@daliahshannon3793 2 жыл бұрын
me too ! i’ve also found it weird that people use usernames starting with lightskin, curly hair, mixed etc
@prxncess6463 2 жыл бұрын
If you only like black women when they look a certain way (thick, fat bum, big boobs, snatched waist, big lips, long natural hair etc) then you don't really like black women, you only like the ones that attract you✋ Don't say "Let's uplift black women" but then only represent and show respect to the "pretty" and standarderized ones. If you cannot accept the fact that black women all come in different tones, shapes and sizes, you do not like black women period🤦♀️
@shadowgoon911 2 жыл бұрын
Nah, you tweakin.
@prxncess6463 2 жыл бұрын
@@shadowgoon911 lol stfu🤦♀️🙄 what tf u mean i'm tweakin???? Nah YOU tweakin
@greatestindanationwide8332 2 жыл бұрын
@@shadowgoon911 she is though
@shaytaylormade5244 2 жыл бұрын
Ooh I love this big facts just like everyone says they love bbw but only pear or hourglass one you on point not tweaking
@shaytaylormade5244 2 жыл бұрын
💯
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
I'm back! & colorful as fuck lol. Also, I'm going live on Patreon on Saturday Sep. 11th at 3 pm EST for a catch up/Q&A! Feel free to leave your questions under this comment 😊I hope to see you there 💖🦋🌼🐞🔮🍭
@steviestinks8070 2 жыл бұрын
Bella! Where the hell you been loca? 🥺
@freethegreat 2 жыл бұрын
Hay Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Topic idea : women and non binaries in tech ! (Or spaces where they're not in general) and maybe a dive into why that is. Social norms ? Lack of interest in that field ?
@ntandekazi4015 2 жыл бұрын
Yesterday I had to personally look if you'd posted anything new because I was convinced my notifications weren't working. I missed feeling intellectual, cultured and like a bhaddie all at once 😂❤️
@QueenCoCoaMocha 2 жыл бұрын
Is that a ROSE necklace??? I want one 😩😩😩 where did you get it?
@Sadude13 2 жыл бұрын
WHERE THE F HAVE YOU BEEN!! MISSED YOU FAM!!
@Diaryofaqueen777 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for speaking about how normal looking black women are overlooked. I’ve not been wearing make up and wearing my natural hair and it’s crazy how I feel so much more confident without it. I hid behind that ish because I thought that made me acceptable.
@TheKrista5 2 жыл бұрын
I remember I was working a job with my niece. I got her the job. We worked retail. I was working there for five years and never told i was pretty or approach. She's mixed with black and Hispanic. Even from my female boss she say oh she's so pretty and she gets all the guys. I eventually said i get it im ugly. Being single all my life I accepted i was ugly a long time ago. I have never been in a relationship so I just focus on my schooling. Have my masters in September.
@bloomingorchid721 2 жыл бұрын
You don't look ugly to me you look beautiful 😻❤️ change your self narrative , why do you have to settle for being ugly ? You're beautiful and congratulations 🎉👏🏾 on your education
@TheKrista5 2 жыл бұрын
@@bloomingorchid721 thank you but I know I'm not that pretty
@homebody61 Жыл бұрын
At least you don’t have to worry about STDS
@leadacruz Жыл бұрын
What you tell yourself is what you believe. Focus on your self love and everything else will come. I’m proud of you girl, just keep doing you. 🎉❤
@mrsmm1483 Жыл бұрын
I'm a year late but if that's you in the picture you're gorgeous!
@hamburgertime4878 2 жыл бұрын
I remember my dad making a rule that you couldn't walk around the house with "tore-up" hair. I've always been low maintenance naturally, but I feel so much pressure by family. My own father would yell at my mom because I wore a ponytail everyday in middle school. I was even forced to get a sew-in once! The type of thinking gives women and girls low self-esteem and social anxiety.
@eyeAm0 2 жыл бұрын
😯😔
@SailorSlay 2 жыл бұрын
Yep I can relate except we weren’t allowed see ins. Only old lady hair styles
@211ny 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a male and i too went through this with my family saying my hair needed to be cut and it couldn’t be nappy. I even grew my hair past my shoulders and got yelled at for it.
@serenatsukino5252 Жыл бұрын
My mom is like this. She's always saying I have to put on makeup when I go to work and look my best, which no shame to those who do, but I think it's fine if I go to work and just look ordinary.
@beamhigh207 Жыл бұрын
Wow.
@afisdiary7779 2 жыл бұрын
The bar for black women is SO high 🙄 White and most other non-black women are given this unspoken pass to be their true, authentic, basic selves and still be deemed attractive, "hot," and pursued by men like trophies. Yet, black women are deemed average or below when in their natural, plain-jane states! It's like whiteness is the beauty standard - skin tone and features - and anything to the contrary that dare be seen as attractive as well must be exceptionally, undeniably gorgeous. I've literally seen the most basic of white women turn heads, while dark-skinned beauties were passed up. It's sadly a beauty standard thing.
@littleleah310 2 жыл бұрын
@Cutelike Dolphins well no but she's saying that subconsciously were all still in 1990 were youcan do nothing and be seen as hot White
@kieshamiller8255 2 жыл бұрын
Not we always been the most desired before slavery after and now…everything comes from us can only imitate us😘no one knew what beauty was until us colored expressed it🥰we the innovators. Periodt‼️💅🏽don’t u ever forget it sis🤧
@afisdiary7779 2 жыл бұрын
@@littleleah310 Exactly.
@leigha.3098 2 жыл бұрын
@Too many ice-cream bars, now brain ouchy🤕 damn that hurts right in my wdgaf bone 😕
@thetruth830 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree, especially when colourism is so prevalent in EVERY RACE. However, I don't think it's fair to say that non-black women are allowed to be basic selves and be hot, because it's just not true at all - I think every woman who isn't POC is given a certain set of standards designed solely to play to stereotypes and go against their natural bodies and features, and every single one is expected to adhere to white beauty standards if that makes any sense.
@Ethentent 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a cis white male and this makes so much sense to me as I’ve noticed it myself. There needs to be a major societal shift in society treats, perceives, and regards black women. Excellent points!
@center8922 2 жыл бұрын
You should go out with a lot of them.
@Cocochantelle 2 жыл бұрын
Happy to see you here, on this side of YT
@kissit012 2 жыл бұрын
@@center8922 What kind of comment is this? Do not dictate other’s personal life choices. You sound creepy
@center8922 2 жыл бұрын
@@kissit012 I think you're reading to much into my comment.
@AriaMarie._ 2 жыл бұрын
Cen ter wha??
@Justteejayy 2 жыл бұрын
I’d like to point out that a lot of these issues remain issues because women ourselves continue to keep them alive. Too many times we see women shame one another for not wearing 10lbs of makeup, having natural bodies and not getting surgery and competing with each other for male attention. There are even lighter skin women who still genuinely believe their prettier just because their lighter skinned. Men add fuel to the fire but, black women start the fire. We give waaay too much attention to these build a body women portraying unrealistic lives on IG and start to hate ourselves for being “regular”. Natural beauty that was praised in the 90’s is now deemed “basic” or ugly. We’re so obsessed with features that altering how you look has become the expected norm. Hell half these women that are deemed gorgeous don’t even look like themselves in real life. Let’s not get into the fact that the “it’s your body, do whatever makes you happy” argument is just a cop out of insecurity. Love your content btw 💜
@AlkebulanQueen1027 2 жыл бұрын
This!!!
@l.m.n.2338 2 жыл бұрын
The irony is that we are supposedly in the age of sexual freedom yet are only getting played. We are supposed to be liberated yet are enslaving ourselves more to unrealistic ideals now more than ever. As a pre-teen Janet Jackson was maybe as "Hollywood' a beauty style as I admired and I was almost scandalized when I found out she had plastic surgery and weave. In my teens I admired Eryka Badu and Lauryn Hill. It's not like we have never had more natural looking role models who were not obviously mixed or inspired by Drag and stripper culture. There is something about today's society that fuels that drive for "extra" despite the trend of acceptance, diversity, etc. Very contradictory.
@ina7133 2 жыл бұрын
Yes and I think especially, we as women, shoot ourselves in the foot when we don’t acknowledge that we wear makeup and “dress up” because we are insecure and want to look better. I love makeup, i’m not that good at it, but I love doing it anyways. But I would be lying if I said I could go a month without a bare face and not feel ugly without makeup on afterwards.
@jadacampbell9331 Жыл бұрын
Just like us to throw ourselves under the 🚍
@girlbrittneygirl 3 ай бұрын
Sir! I'm going have correct you. It's males who started these standards! Not Women! We've been living in a male-dominated society for decades! Who controls HollyWood, the music industry, the fashion industry, etc! Males!
@jasminew8442 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like the only dark skinned girl with African features that’s been praised in the history of mankind is Lupita 😂 and she’s gorgeous and classy. If she was “hood” I wonder if she would be deemed “acceptable”. Smh.
@RainbowNeeMUA 2 жыл бұрын
She has the tiniest nose and the cutest little features, don’t get me wrong she’s very pretty but her facial features make her more palatable for mass media. And you’re right if she was a little bit more hood she wouldn’t have been so accepted
@sharichristmas8194 2 жыл бұрын
Does Naomi Campbell not have African features? She is still the most gorgeous woman I have seen.
@hi-je7km 2 жыл бұрын
Um obviously not..? No ghetto people are praised en masse.
@RainbowNeeMUA 2 жыл бұрын
@@sharichristmas8194 unfortunately she couldn’t see it, her facial structure is INSANE - yes typical African features and super beautiful, but I’m sure like many other dark skinned women in south London she was conditioned to believe otherwise
@blairturner139 2 жыл бұрын
@@hi-je7km exactly no one really in high class likes them
@gofaonemotlogelwa4925 2 жыл бұрын
"It's okay to be a black woman, as long as you're not a black woman" - Me. Our features, mannerisms, etc are beautiful and acceptable as long as it's not on us, black women! Tuh. Edit: Fashion too!! Someone under this comment reminded me of that!❤
@adunnilademo9135 2 жыл бұрын
Say it again sis. But they COULD NEVAAAA.
@skjordan3803 2 жыл бұрын
FACTS!!!
@burbieee7216 2 жыл бұрын
What you said about attraction being manipulated reminds me of the “fat girl” trope in movies and how it really puts down plus size women. The fact that they can never be the main protagonists and have to be the laughing stock to even be a part of these movies is absolutely demeaning.
@kjellmclaren Жыл бұрын
Smh fat dudes aren’t praised each either that’s not what most men or women desire. We desire healthy and fit bodies, not to say every man or women who’s plus size is not healthy, I’m just saying majority.
@Siren_442 Жыл бұрын
@@luckygirl0303 Fatphobia isn't a thing
@Siren_442 Жыл бұрын
@@luckygirl0303 fat people can eat whatever they want, I really don't care, but if you're going to eat tons of food without remorse and not exercise so you don't gain weight; that consequence is on you. The world isn't 'fatphobic', you just have to take accountability for your actions.
@Siren_442 Жыл бұрын
@@luckygirl0303 No one is scared of “fat people”. yall fat people just seem to make up excuses and ways to blame anyone else except yall. yall are so self-centered. fat people can eat as much as they want,but It's unfair to hold society or others accountable for something you're responsible for. Stop blaming others for the consequences of your actions.
@Siren_442 Жыл бұрын
@@luckygirl0303 I'm not gonna even argue with you
@Indigo_Boi757 2 жыл бұрын
I just want to thank you for allowing me to finally understand something about myself. As a mixed race individual (South Asian Indian, Portuguese and Irish) I’ve always felt that I got the raw end of the genetic deal because I have dark brown eyes, dark brown skin and dark brown hair. None of the mixed beauty that immediately springs to mind when you imagine mixed race people (light eyes etc). I’ve always felt that if you dropped me into the middle of Mumbai I would literally melt into the diaspora because I had no distinguishable features. Today you taught me about featurism, and now I finally understand why I was always so saddened by looking like the average South Asian person. I didn’t want to. I had no problem being Indian, but I didn’t want to look it. I wanted to have some feature that was racially ambiguous, or honestly, caucasian. Because whether it’s in the Indian community itself, or even out in the LGBTQ+ dating world of South Africa, the more racially ambiguous or caucasian you look, the more beautiful you are. Average Indian beauty (dark eyes, skin etc) isn’t praised. I mean, before Priyanka the foremost Indian beauty on the world stage was Aishwarya Rai. Go take a look at her and you’ll see why that’s problematic. I’ve done coloured contacts and I’m actually currently blonde right now, and I guess it will always be a struggle to fully just be okay with my given features, but I just wanted to say "THANK YOU" for giving my distress a name, a label, for making it a real, tangible issue that can be addressed with reasons why it exists and information as to how it affects someone of colour. Thank you for allowing me to feel seen and heard, and for giving my struggle legitimacy. You rock and I wish you more power on your journey forward. PS: apologies for the novel LOL
@Kashleighsays 2 жыл бұрын
🤎 This gave me flashbacks to my teens & my Asian friends being confused and always questioning why my favourite babes were Kajol & Rani Mukherjee and surprised I could always guess theirs...either Aishwarya or Kareena Kapoor (for obvious reasons 🙄) skewed beauty standards so deeply ingrained they couldn’t see their own beauty. Sad to see as well both Kajol & Rani are sooooo much lighter now than back in the day!
@Indigo_Boi757 2 жыл бұрын
@@Kashleighsays Guurrrrl! First of all, I’m LIVINNGGG for how well you know your Bollywood! And 2nd, you are absolutely 100% correct. Everybody died for Aishwarya or Kareena or Katrina Kaif because of their eyes or their light skin, and I always tried to bring up the fact that there is no actual "Indian-looking" aka brown actress visibly represented by the Indian entertainment industry. Kajol was beloved but mostly for her personality and never really as being a beauty (ludicrous!) and it was always so obvious as to why. I remember year ago there was actual even a TV commercial with Priyanka Chopra and Said Ali Khan (light skinned actor) with the storyline being that he dumps her for being too dark so she gets the latest lightening brand and once she’s fairer he wants back again. I was like what the actual fuck?! How could they even pitch this let alone shoot it and what was Priyanka thinking signing on to something this demeaning? But you’re right, the indoctrination of the caucasian European beauty standard is so deeply ingrained in the people, I mean it even is prevalent in the Indian community all the way in South Africa. It followed immigrants from the mother land and poisoned a whole new fresh society in a whole ass other country. It’s shameful tbh. And little is done to change it.
@muthonigota 2 жыл бұрын
Heartbreaking, this world we live in. Also shout out to SRK and the work of art that is his eyes 🌼
@anjaxtv 2 жыл бұрын
❤💪🏾❣
@hamianagrande 2 жыл бұрын
Are you northern Indian, southern Indian or north East Indian? I feel like unless you’re talking about average South Indian beauty it doesn’t apply because Northern Indians tend to have more European features (not all of course but a lot do) and north East Indians tend to have East and south East Asian features (again, not all)
@msjennable 2 жыл бұрын
Stumbled upon this vid. Bottom line...if and when black women FINALLY learn to love themselves, they won't need to make speeches about loving themselves... because it will show...be glam, be plain, be nerdy, be sexy, be YOU! At some point we have to stop yelling at everyone else, and raise our own self-esteem and awareness...
@L0VEisAmixtape 2 жыл бұрын
Omg LOOOVE this comment
@alyssapinon9670 2 жыл бұрын
@@L0VEisAmixtape “be glam, be plain, be nerdy, be sexy, be you” need this on a t shirt!
@antoinettenyuurnibe3302 2 жыл бұрын
@@alyssapinon9670 That's actually a really good slogan to put on a t-shirt.
@egidiar.4313 Жыл бұрын
You said it beautifully!!!
@Mikinaak2023 4 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@CrystalOkonkwo99 2 жыл бұрын
As a girl whose been plus size since I was 13 (now I’m 22), people don’t see me as a person. Strangers come up to me and say “When you lose weight, you’ll be pretty”. Even people I have known for years only ever address my weight and never ask simple questions like “How was your day” or “Is there anything going on in your life”. Some people make me feel like “when I lose weight” is the only time I’ll be accepted.
@keilee_khaos 2 жыл бұрын
How the heck do ppl randomly walk up to someone and just say something like that? Btw you probably look absolutely stunning, don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😊
@KandyGTV 2 жыл бұрын
I remember I was out grabbing food after having my daughter and a homeless guy told me, "you should really lose some weight because your body doesn't match your face. I was very suprised at how heavy you were when you got out your car. Your to pretty to be fat." People really be having the nerve!
@Gigi-vj5uj 2 жыл бұрын
@@KandyGTV Should've told him he's too outspoken to be homeless, I'd rather be heavy in my own home 😂😂
@SoftNSpicey 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like my family is obsessed with weight and looks in general. I get more compliments from strangers than my own flesh and blood.
@imarirashad40 2 жыл бұрын
Fuxk them you're gorgeous some ppl just have to find someone in the room to put down just to make themselves feel better, youre already winning love, stay beautiful mama💕
@epd0126 2 жыл бұрын
im 60..i would be so proud of you if you were my daughter..you are so smart, and deep, and so aware and so articulate, and beautiful....i just want to thank your mama for raising such a great human being
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these kind words! Sending this to her right now; she's gonna love it 💖
@ss-hc7tb 2 жыл бұрын
for someone who’s 60 you type like a gen z lool
@summers9052 2 жыл бұрын
@@ss-hc7tb nah fool, the ellipses are full on boomer give away
@leilaikusura4904 2 жыл бұрын
This was so wonderful to watch. All of what you said is true and as an African woman born and raise in Africa, its getting worse and worse out here. Things that were okay 10yrs ago are no longer okay to society (thank you internet) more women are feeling the need to change their natural looks to fit a type. And those that refuse to are called names. Its wild. I personally enjoy these in depth discussions and will share this with others. Thank you!💜
@BM-ir1dr 2 жыл бұрын
I feel this. I like in the UK and I remember growing up black boys criticising that I had natural hair. It's sad that it's spreading beyond Europe and the US. We just be ourselves, plait our hair and go to bed and people who have been watching too much TV want hair flowing over pillows
@violetmarlo2978 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I question this often: why are we expected to be sexy ALLLLLLLLL the time in order to be a validated woman, or seen as feminine….f*uck society man, I just want to exist as a person first and foremost.
@lita313 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who was told from an early age that she wasn't pretty and got called "manly, sir" and a lot of other things by dudes (especially white men), this makes me excited for the next video. Now the people who told me I wasn't pretty, did it by their actions when they loudly said how cute my best friends or my cousin were. They never said anything about me after making the comment and I remember that. When I started growing this beard and hair due to Polycystic Ovarian syndrome, I got told I looked manly and I would overcompensate with makeup and wearing girly clothes, and these white men would still call me sir and laugh as they'd say it. And I'm saying white men because growing up and to my late 20's, I had black dudes call me ugly bitch when I'd turn them down but they never called me sir, or he or used male pronouns. It was my white counterparts who did that shit and they did it because they knew it would hurt me. They would see my face fall and smile or laugh.
@RoaringMind 2 жыл бұрын
It makes me feel sad to hear what you’ve gone through. The world feels harsh at times. But there are always those who see your beauty; I watched a Barbra Streisand movie today about an “ugly” woman but I kept thinking the whole time that I find her “less desirable” features very pretty.
@nherty6172 2 жыл бұрын
@@RoaringMind girl if I say I resonate with you, I RESONATE with you. I have a light skinned younger sister and growing up with her was so traumatising for my confidence. I had and still have people tell me how she is the prettier sister, how I am not beautiful. Had teachers diss me using other girls in my class, was labeled one of the ugly girls in my class, got bullied for it, made fun of by adults and peers. Turning guys down was hard because you know the ugly comment is coming but you still have to turn them down. I had a teacher tell me to accept any guy who approaches me because it won't be easy for a girl like me to get attention from boys. All these were done by blk people. I have come to know that I am beautiful but that stage really ruined the relationship between my sister and I. We are close as f*ck now but looking back I wished I had a different experience.
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
PCOS is a condition I only recently came to learn about, but beyond the medical aspects of it, I never even stopped to consider how it affects people socially as well. I so appreciate you for sharing this and uh yeah, fuck everyone who tried to reduce you. That shit can't fly NO MO!
@SoftNSpicey 2 жыл бұрын
if you live in the Philly area I can give you the contact info for my laser hair removal Doctor. He is an actual dermatologist and does hair removal on my face. he has a good amount of black patients and is reasonably priced.
@willanawalozi7795 2 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@tajahmcgowan2026 2 жыл бұрын
I can't wait until you do a video on how " everyone loves black just not on black women ". And the inequality between black women supporting black men and black men supporting black women
@fibubble4648 2 жыл бұрын
soo true
@mindovermatter9083 2 жыл бұрын
Can u pls not involved black men in ur chains of complain ! If u beautiful u beautiful it doesn't matter ur skin tone ! What are we suppose to do ? Go around changing peoples mind on what they like ?! U don't like short men fat and broke ! U don't see us running around complaining ! Cause that's just life people like what they like ! This is just pathetic and down low depressing ! What must they do ? Go around saying they like fat women ? So basically lie to make u feel better? Come back and tell us what u think we should do once u collectively start dating short broke fat men
@Zoeyblives 2 жыл бұрын
Damn queen! I wanna see that video too! ❤️
@bambi7563 2 жыл бұрын
@@mindovermatter9083 you're so beyond ignorant
@yolandacoleman5178 Жыл бұрын
So true
@tadiwachirima858 2 жыл бұрын
You are so well spoken it’s soothing. Your eloquence, your tone, your voice it’s just everything.
@AtlasManaged Жыл бұрын
I constantly tell women, ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN: girl you look good asf. (And try to break down what’s great about how they look) Whether they’re wearing makeup or not, as a regular black girl, I understand the importance of whole hearted compliments and acknowledgement
@s_dckry 2 жыл бұрын
sis you don’t miss. i recently made my way through the underwhelming new book about Aaliyah and the author wrote this: “she defied race, with long straight hair and light skin - a combination of jamaican roots mixed with native american blood, and an arabic name to boot” .. and it goes on. the worst part is this white author intended to compliment the very beautiful Aaliyah, while othering her. the anti-blackness via exotification and featurism is trifling. also lol @ “defying” race bc of the paper bag test and a silk press
@hayabusahime 2 жыл бұрын
Yikes😬😬
@chanelnaomi 2 жыл бұрын
Omg thats terrible. I see why Aaliyah's family doesnt approve of that book. smh
@basmalasaad3039 2 жыл бұрын
It's so bad it sounds like satire....
@kourtneydouthard-becker1501 2 жыл бұрын
This is more common behavior than you think from non blacks. They “other” me all the time. I had many non blacks try to categorize me as “biracial” because I don’t have “typical black girl” features (my hair, “red skin”,and “Asian eyes”) I’m literally quoting what has been said to me as their reason for saying I’m not a black woman. It’s ridiculous because I stay having to talk about slavery, give history lessons and go over my family tree trying to educate folks 🤦🏽♀️
@T0xXx1k 2 жыл бұрын
@@hayabusahime same I came just to say yikes.. I dont even have another word I'm almost speechless to that.. 🧡🦇
@imani0nline 2 жыл бұрын
This just makes me want scream, Let black people be ordinary 2021! why is it that black is only acceptable when it is palatable and fits into Eurocentric standards?!
@greatestindanationwide8332 2 жыл бұрын
Who says that tbh? Attractive black people have Eurocentric features now?
@tacrewgirl 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, ordinary
@WhyfallinLUVwhenUcanfallasleep 2 жыл бұрын
Ohhhhhh I saw you in the kennie JD comment section, good tastesss Also yes
@ziintle 2 жыл бұрын
@@WhyfallinLUVwhenUcanfallasleep she is a queen this one. Check out her channel she also drops some gems on her page
@Scorch1028 2 жыл бұрын
I see white and black women as being so physically different, that it's pointless for black women to try to look like white women. Black women need to just "do their own thing."
@TheLauren1113 2 жыл бұрын
As a mixed woman, this video was insightful. I didn’t grow up knowing about my black father - I was raised white. Something was off though and white people definitely did NOT think I was white. And black people could see the black in me. Now that DNA testing has confirmed that my parents hid my racial background, I have been trying to learn more about what it means to be a black woman. A lot of my friends are black women and tell me that black is a big category. At the same time, I want to truly understand what being black means. While the blackness that made me feel I wasn’t white well before I knew I actually wasn’t white has shaped my life experience, the whiteness in me has created white adjacency and I cannot come out there claiming my blackness either without recognizing that there is also privilege in being mixed. White adjacency is real - while I wasn’t adjacent enough to be accepted as white, I have to be careful about how my presence can be a way of promoting diversity in a way that makes people comfortable. I was well aware that the “white woman” as examples of diversity do this, but I hadn’t thought about mixed women or more Eurocentric women doing the same.
@clarity2974 2 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you acknowledge that you are a beautiful mixture of both races and you can't truly promote yourself as black. It hurts true black women when biracial women do that. Good luck on your journey.
@marie-francoiset9402 2 жыл бұрын
don't follow this line of thinking hook, line & sinker. you ARE a *true* black woman. You are 100% both races and can say that you are black. You can also say you are white. and don't spend your whole life trying to appease racist whites or colorist blacks. you owe them nothing. discover yourself. love yourself. you're perfect as you are.
@vegannn7178 2 жыл бұрын
@@marie-francoiset9402 She’s mixed and that’s ok, she’s not more than one.
@marie-francoiset9402 2 жыл бұрын
@@vegannn7178 never said her being mixed was not ok. not sure where you're getting that. what i said is that she *can* say she is black. because she is. If one parent is white, she can also claim being white. Regardless of what the wypipo around her say. Anything other than that is buying into the essentialist *pure* race concept which doesn't exist in reality. There's no pure white or black race, especially if she is in the US or brazil. or the Caribbean, or or or...
@theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella Жыл бұрын
@@vegannn7178 before i say anything else, why is that it seems easier for one who is mixed (black/white) to say “they’re black” for example rather than “white”? No matter what, there’s definitely going to be ppl who don’t bat an eye when said mix says “I’m black”-but a completely different story if they said they’re white. Ive asked before, and the only answer I’ve gotten is “once you got black in u, ur black”😭 And another question(s). Why wouldn’t you be able to identify as both, or at least one to _some extent_ ? The extent being you recognize yourself that you’re not full blooded (“true” black woman sounds weird asf, ngl), but the point of being mixed is that you are more than just one thing. How should “mixed” be viewed? A fusion of 2? Or “2 in one” (heterogenous, not homogeneous). Is this why some prefer “biracial”? Because “mixed” promotes the idea of a mixture= something new? Biracial just being 2 things, not one? Why would privilege etc define whether or not you can “claim ur blackness”? Is black _only_ an experience now? Where to be black, you have to experience similar things (regarding privilege etc)?
@d.aliceden3095 2 жыл бұрын
I think one of my favorite things about your videos is the language you use. Understanding the nuance of context and acknowledging your perception and lens is a learned skill that many people, myself included, need to improve upon.
@alyssapinon9670 2 жыл бұрын
Yesss! This is why I’m subscribed. It’s so rare to find that on KZfaq and Tee inspires me to be a nuanced, compassionate thinker
@13579hee 2 жыл бұрын
This is why its IMPORTANT TO STAN NORMANI. She is a visibly unambiguous looking Black woman of a darker shade. YES, she's "glamorous" but she IS a POP STAR.
@pinkkam 2 жыл бұрын
I would if she actually released more often 😭 i really like her but i dont wanna get invested and then never hear of her doing anything again
@areolagrandespoop7269 2 жыл бұрын
@@pinkkam but y’all eat up these white artists who leave for years on top of years 🙄 anyways stan normani, she takes time with her craft and it’s obviously worth it.
@maybewise 2 жыл бұрын
Black women supremacy, but I stan MYSELF, and good music, no matter the race or genre. I always want to see unambiguous black women doing well, but normalize liking what you like, instead of putting people in boxes and saying "You HAVE to support this, or else you're not a real one.".
@shaani7978 2 жыл бұрын
@@maybewise THANK YOU. I hate this "stan" culture, it's so childish.
@kcjm7345 2 жыл бұрын
@@maybewise Finally, a person with a valid opinion
@DoreenAnjel 2 жыл бұрын
I am a grown 55-year-old woman and how you presented this topic, makes me proud and hopeful for the next generation, so beautiful and intelligent!
@slylover123 2 жыл бұрын
Same it's the best cleanse after witnessing the worst parts of the internet
@nikklovenobody 2 жыл бұрын
The next generation is already screwed Half the young ladies and gentlemen are already set in the you gotta look a certain Way to “belong” The internet has done lots of damage 🤷🏾♀️
@shimmering_morbidity728 2 жыл бұрын
@@nikklovenobody I just deleted a whole comment that closely resembles everything u just said. Lol, so true. But we can remain "hopeful".... eh
@nikklovenobody 2 жыл бұрын
@@shimmering_morbidity728 True 🤞🏾
@EmilyHernandez-jt4cs 2 жыл бұрын
@@nikklovenobody At least it’s a bit more specific
@noel8124 2 жыл бұрын
SO GOOD! You’re an absolute delight to watch while provoking much needed dialogue
@actuallyitsshanice9118 2 жыл бұрын
This really is a loaded conversation, so many points made! I’ve been feeling this as well, it’s especially noticeable in the realm of social media, where even when marginalized black women are praised it’s because they’re EXTRA on point. I’m also glad you acknowledged the fact that you present yourself in the glamour when in this space, it’s unfortunate that many of the KZfaq views are dependant on how one looks and not just based on content.
@emmaculate6177 2 жыл бұрын
I don’t feel like they let black women be soft and feminine either. City girls looked so much softer in the before comparison. The standard of beauty is pretty and glamorous, but it’s not a soft/delicate look. Some of the most beautiful black women I’ve seen have been in the natural no make up zone.
@search4omniscience 2 жыл бұрын
You’re in a black space and I want to know why?
@prettyxbonez96 2 жыл бұрын
@@search4omniscience Don't start that bullshit, you'll stand on your own with a mindset like that!
@zalaiyas 2 жыл бұрын
@@search4omniscience how else are they gonna learn about how we think if it isnt coming directly from us?
@search4omniscience 2 жыл бұрын
@@prettyxbonez96 cool but explain why you feel the way you do
@search4omniscience 2 жыл бұрын
@@zalaiyas why do they need to “learn”?
@swaggalicous23able 2 жыл бұрын
So like Hollywood made Woppie Goldberg “ugly” by media standard 😭😪she was never ugly lol she’s a beautiful black woman and has an amazing career but never in the media for her beauty …
@saramatthews7159 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly i never found whoopi goldberg to be ugly
@nileriver1632 2 жыл бұрын
omg i’ve always thought she was beautiful.
@alyssapinon9670 2 жыл бұрын
@@nileriver1632 I first saw Whoopi in the Color Purple and thought she was a cutie
@wildewildestrawberries 2 жыл бұрын
I never found her ugly but not beautiful either. She's unique, in her own incomparable lane.
@shahee6579 Жыл бұрын
As a man respectfully, I never found her attractive. Beauty is something some people have and others don't. Like some people have athleticism and some don't
@quianabell9699 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, this is the MOST educated, well spoken and effective content from my fellow black sister that I've seen in a very long time. Instantly subscribed, I look forward to more of your content.
@BrookeLynnThyRemedy 7 ай бұрын
You have the perfect balance of a being a realist but still keeping an open-mind AND making a moment teachable all at one You’re AMAZING ❤
@claudiasotelo6956 2 жыл бұрын
exotification happens in the latinx community too😭 my sister has been fetishized multiple times for her “asian” eyes and “black” lips and body, even though as far as we know we don’t have close asian or black ancestors . It’s really disgusting, why can’t we just exist within our own ethnicity without being fetishized?
@Lucyinthskyy 2 жыл бұрын
A lot of Latinos have “Asian” features because of indigenous ancestry. Indigenous Americans and East Asians are closely related .
@alicesenz6374 2 жыл бұрын
@K C yes, they're called epicanthic folds I believe and they can even be found in some Swedes and other Northern Europeans. So whether you're Asian, Black, Latina, white, anyone can have them.
@yourfavoritevisual8917 2 жыл бұрын
@@alicesenz6374 they are called monolids, and they are mostly prevalent on east and south east asian people, indigenous people have them too because they are relatives to them, african people CAN have monolids too, but they are not as prevalent as what people in this comment section pretend, white people can't have them unless they have some asian or indigenous ancestry
@pearlngozi2818 2 жыл бұрын
@@yourfavoritevisual8917 Is there some sort of infection going around in this comment section? You and another commentator refuse to fully acknowledge monolids are traits black people around the globe possess because it isn't "common". What is the problem with simply stating black people possess monolids? Is it too much of an exotic feature that couldn't possibly belong to black people?
@alicesenz6374 2 жыл бұрын
@@yourfavoritevisual8917 no, some Swedes have them.
@SuiteVII 2 жыл бұрын
My vote is for “Black women in the ordinary”. It really be the pro lighting, glam squads and a liiil photoshop that makes stars 🌟
@brownskinbeauty. 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@thegoddess369 2 жыл бұрын
My vote is for DESIRABILITY. It can be achieved if you want it and work for it.
@robinclark2703 2 жыл бұрын
You are SUCH an academic (I mean that in the best possible way). Beyond doing research, you’re presenting your own ideas, noting that there’s a lack of research and that this research needs to be done, and asking those relevant questions to get the conversation going in a larger context. This is the content I want to see and I’m beyond thankful to you for creating it. Keep up the great work!
@adriannamartin5992 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for keeping it real!! People don’t talk about this much.
@Whatsgucci 2 жыл бұрын
When I was younger I quickly realised that black women had to be incredibly beautiful/ “exotic” looking to get any sort of respect (can’t think of a better word to use right now), whereas other races of women are allowed to be average. For years I couldn’t put it in to words until fairly recently and I’m in my late 20s.
@954crystal 2 жыл бұрын
Respect where? Online, men ? When you get a mortgage or credit pulled nobody cares about how beautiful you are. There’s more to life than looks.
@quibsbloch1088 2 жыл бұрын
@fiery but mostly peaceful I think it has to do with most people only being able to see this issue (which is actually universal) through the lenses of their culture and perspective. Every race and ethnic group has their version of the "average" woman, who gets looked over and/or compared to women considered more beautiful, and the average women are usually the majority of women in that group. There's definitely an element to it with idolizing certain body parts and features that are associated with one race or another, but on the whole, this is a universal problem. Maybe for black women we deal with it more publicly and regularly than others, but not necessarily to a higher degree🤔
@tajsimms8976 2 жыл бұрын
@fiery but mostly peaceful I’m certain you can throw that brown hair up in a “messy bun” and go out in public and no one judges you…
@erinhansen614 2 жыл бұрын
Facts
@erinhansen614 2 жыл бұрын
Any woman who rolls out of bed and goes to a store runs the risk of being judged or at least FEELING judged by the stingy old lady it happens to us all so stop judging and making assumptions and judging what others may think they don't matter like your happiness should matter
@bubz4994 2 жыл бұрын
Chika is honestly so beautiful it’s shocking - the hate she’s gotten is baffling to me. This is a great video, Tee!
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
I agree, when searching for a picture of her to use for this video I was like wow I loveeee her face
@bubz4994 2 жыл бұрын
@@TeeNoir Thanks for the reply! You’re very lovely, and I’m looking forward to parts 2 and 3.
@busisiwemavuso2583 2 жыл бұрын
Facts! She's gorgeous
@maiawilson2642 2 жыл бұрын
I never knew how to explain this, and I thought I was crazy since I hadn't really seen anyone talk about this. Like I was making it up. Thanks for the sources you dropped in this, too.
@alexjones8130 2 жыл бұрын
I just found you and I love you 🤭 I was just talking with my mom about this idea of glamorized black women vs. black women in the ordinary and the reactions Chloe Bailey gets and you hit it right on the head 🙌🏽
@abigailmark1847 2 жыл бұрын
“African-a Grande” “Ain’t you from Detroit” Girl Tee killing me with these jokes. Haha 😂 But fr I love your content bc it’s always eye opening and I feel like I shoulda been taught this shit in schooooool. Thank you Tee!
@malusim6089 2 жыл бұрын
I absolutely perished at the new Miss Grande! Guuurrl!!!
@embracethemadness118 2 жыл бұрын
I cackled 😂
@kweenjade01 2 жыл бұрын
It should be a CLASS
@ms.x1669 2 жыл бұрын
The way she's tanning her skin she really is fighting for that stage name.
@CydBee 2 жыл бұрын
another hit !!!
@Moriartart 2 жыл бұрын
Omgg I love you I didn’t know you watched her too!😭
@handsomesquidward4377 2 жыл бұрын
Mam, didn’t you once upon a time say that colorism didn’t exist?
@BBrunnel 2 жыл бұрын
I love how you support all the black female KZfaqrs absolutely love you!
@themonsterwithin4000 2 жыл бұрын
@@handsomesquidward4377 Even if she did (not sure if she did or not), people grow and opinions change.
@handsomesquidward4377 2 жыл бұрын
@@themonsterwithin4000 she did a whole video on it.. She deleted it, cause she caught an immense amount of backlash for it..
@bkaypule_ 2 жыл бұрын
It’s such an amazing thing to make videos like these because when things are given terms it’s easier to have conversations about them. Thank you for this 🥺
@quanyewhite2249 2 жыл бұрын
I love this so much. It’s so true that we have to always go above and beyond, in everything from appearance to occupation, to be loved and appreciated. Beauty really comes from within.
@tiffinylu942 2 жыл бұрын
The way they presented Kristen Stuart in twilight never screamed feme fatal or even I take showers everyday (I’m not say doesn’t take showers everyday 🙄…in fact I find her very beautiful I’m just describing the way she was presented in the movie).She was clearly the average tomboy awkward new girl…who was desired by someone who was seemingly “out of her league” …a relatable and somewhat refreshing character trope that a black girl could never play without judgment. “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a very true quote but is not a truth that black women and girls are allowed to indulge in without being accused of things such as misrepresentation, fetishizion, unrealistic standards, to good to be true, or just flat out called ugly.While non-women of color are fragile, shy girls, “not like other girls” girls, misunderstood, mIsTeRiOuS, or are believed to have unique, relatable, nerdy, or quirky beauty.Even when there’s little to no energy given for us to believe these things about this character…or just no energy from this character whatsoever.
@elisejackson2854 2 жыл бұрын
If you read the book she was not supposed to be femme fatale. She was awkward and normal looking etc so she fit the bill.
@busisiwemavuso2583 2 жыл бұрын
Now why did you just spit bars like that? 😮😭
@KIJO2696 2 жыл бұрын
@Cutelike Dolphins you don't see how the much higher beauty standard for black women and dark skinned black women puts the stress of ALWAYS looking done up and hyper feminine on them and is damaging to those that fit the beauty standard and especially for this who don't? Did you not watch the video?
@brennam954 2 жыл бұрын
Such a great point. The more dehumanized the group, the more they have to compete to be treated with the same level of respect/admiration. Twilight definitely wouldn't have had the same appeal if the protagonist was an average looking black girl.
@JadedeaJade 2 жыл бұрын
@@brennam954 Yup, test audiences would have said how ridiculous it is that a man like that actor would ever feel that way towards a black woman, unless she was Beyoncé. And then they would have replaced her with Zendaya and suddenly the audience can relate, chill, and put the pitchforks down lol.
@ChocoLex 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve been struggling with whether or not I need to be more “done up” in my videos. I noticed that a lot of well known KZfaqrs always have a full face beat and a laid wig. And here I am with a fro and only lipgloss (because I can’t do makeup). I can’t help but to notice that the “glammed up” videos perform better on here but I want to remain true to myself without feeling the need to somewhat conform. But I also want to grow my channel and with the rise of all the black girl luxury content, I be feeling out of place 🥴 This topic definitely deserves more attention.
@kat3ph0bic61 2 жыл бұрын
You are gorgeous, I love your hair
@Ash-pp6yt 2 жыл бұрын
Do what you feel comfy with! Your pfp looks very pretty tbh and you do look like one of those "melanated queens" a bit (in a good way yk). You would look nice either way so why not just do what you feel like doing?
@mello4392 2 жыл бұрын
Yes ,do stay true to yourself, btw you're beautiful without makeup
@Rolandesperspective 2 жыл бұрын
i felt this! and i agree with the responses, do what feels right, always, and the right people will find you. but i def understand the pressure to be done up because of simply wanting the best for your channel! but is the best for your channel subscribers that will expect you to uphold a version of you that you dont feel comfortable upholding? bc i worse makeup my first day of high school and the pressures to keep that going crushed me. but gladly i said fuck it and everybody and started doing what was comfy - MINIMAL EFFORT LMAO. good lukc on your journeys!
@kweenjade01 2 жыл бұрын
Hey. As someone who doesn't wear too much makeup myself: Do you girl. It's okay to be natural but if u want to use a bit of makeup thats YOUR choice. You can still use a bit and make it look natural. There are so many brands and choices out there. Just don't be pressured into making a choice u may regret. Remember that at the end of the day ? YOU still have to look in a mirror and live with (and love) yourself.
@nobukhosimafu1472 2 жыл бұрын
I love how you talk about things I’ve known but couldn’t express in words. Thank you
@larissabrglum3856 Жыл бұрын
Your videos are so thoughtful! Featurism is definitely something I've pondered, but it was hard to talk about without a term for it.
@ariannamonet8585 2 жыл бұрын
When you started talking about how black women get mad when other races say “I got a black girl booty” etc.. you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been wanting to make a video relating to featurism and texturism for awhile and now I think I will!
@candicoatedconvos 2 жыл бұрын
Do that sis!!! I’ll watch it 🥰🥰🥰 I love conversations like these. It’s the only way to break down the walls
@handleisGG 2 жыл бұрын
it's funny cause most women getting bbls happen to be black women, I have family who ISN'T black and don't have black in them with huge shelf like NATURAL asses so this stereotype does not apply where I'm from lmao
@yushuahuesun9423 2 жыл бұрын
@@handleisGG not true at all white women are 12 million more times to get it than any other.
@handleisGG 2 жыл бұрын
@@yushuahuesun9423 lmaoo you've never seen the pictures of people lining up at the Dominican airport? sweetie they were NOT white, the only white people who have had bbls are the kardashians and SOME LA white girls but aside from that? The VAST majority of them ARE Black and Hispanic since the early 2000s from nicki minaj (implants u get the drift) SHE got implants LONG before the kardashians had bbls... blac chyna, cardi even had injections back then, ALL the ghetto xxx magazines inspired black women to get bbls or implants or injections it's a KNOWN fact, I worked at a clinic before and I have yet to see a white girl come in and ask for that procedure, lips? yeah ASS? no because they know its a trend and they HAVE gluteus to work on at the gym anyway, only those on ig get it done and most of those white girls are literally FROM LA
@geminigoddess2487 2 жыл бұрын
@@handleisGG yeah it doesn’t apply where YOU’RE from. A lot of black women naturally have a nice round butt, even if it isn’t necessarily big. How big it is depends on your weight more-so. A skinny black girl is more likely to a have a rounder butt than a skinny white girl. Please stop trying to glorify our features and give them to other races. Smh. Black women get the most butt augmentations because our counterparts, black men, have always voiced that they found that attractive. Black women who get bbls desire to look like other black women who have big butts, they are not getting Bbls to look like other races. You know that so stop playing.And a lot of times they already had a or round butt and just wanted it bigger. Nicki actually had some butt before she got it done if you look at her old mixtape videos. That pic of her in the pink shirt with a flat ass has been proven fake, you can Google it. In shape black women used to get called fat because they had a big butt, by all races of women. So please just stop. If you’re a black woman, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. If you aren’t, I could see why you have the perspective you do.
@ZhariyaAleice 2 жыл бұрын
this video perfectly encapsulates what i feel like i feel like such an average black women. A lot of people in my comments call me a man and ugly and i have to wear a full face of makeup with a laid wig just to not get harassed about my appearance and not being pretty like other black women in commentary
@ZhariyaAleice 2 жыл бұрын
@@henrdnemdj5271 no i think getting called an “ugly monkey” on my videos definitely has to do with race
@ofpromethea 2 жыл бұрын
back off and leave her alone wtf. anyways @Zhariya Smith you're gorgeous and i'm currently binge watching all your vids :)
@UnicornWater777 2 жыл бұрын
Girl Sis I feel the same
@JulianSteve 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, this is disgusting. If anything, censor your comments because that’s colorists and racists doing that garbage. It’s unacceptable💯
@TheLeah2344 2 жыл бұрын
I was told I was an “ angry black feminist “ on one of my videos just because I spoke out on an Asian owned business stealing from me. I spoke softly too and I was still labeled as that.
@emmasmith6639 2 жыл бұрын
you are genuinely so smart I take notes on every single thing you say and I have conversations with my family/friends about it afterward. you phrase things so perfectly and the concepts you put forth are so complex and nuanced that you make me think in ways I hadn't known were possible. and if people were even half as thoughtful with how they spoke about things, I truly think the world would be a better place. so thank you for always acknowledging all the different nuances and identities that pertain to what you are discussing and for being constantly thoughtful and for putting in the work and the research
@joyweems2620 2 жыл бұрын
Thoroughly enjoyed your part 1 summation of this topic and how you organized your thoughts. So many great comments and sound bites throughout that stuck with me. Love your point about honing in on our real-world experience to humanize the conversation. I'll definitely be watching more of your videos.
@DonnaVirtuosa 2 жыл бұрын
This! AALLLLL OF THIS! I just had a conversation with someone like this. She was saying that she just wants to be the pretty person in the room without having to do a lot, but was equating it all to colorism and I didn't quite know how to articulate what I was trying to say, but this video here is it! Tee you help keep me educated and always send me where I need to go to get informed. ❤️ Your videos always make me want to learn more.
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
This comment really means a lot. Thank you so much!
@jayrose8869 2 жыл бұрын
@@TeeNoir Of course it's ok to be a regular everyday black girl, but how could you expect ones with rare features to not be looked at with admiration??? Do you understand the definition of rare??? People love anything that is rare and that includes jewelry, clothes, cars, food, and people as well. I have dated many so called average black women but sometimes you get tired of the same type of companion, and if you don't then wouldn't that kind of be like fetishizing???
@blackfoot8975 2 жыл бұрын
So basically, she was upset that more attractive women were getting more attention than her, because she was average? What the hell is wrong with you people?
@blackfoot8975 2 жыл бұрын
@@jayrose8869 exactly, most people are Average. Why would you expect to be viewed the same as someone who is above average?
@Isism899 2 жыл бұрын
I will never forgot one day I opened tik tok and there was an average plus black woman crying, asking “pretty girls” how does it feel to be pretty? It broke my heart, but what hurt more was black women telling her to get a weave and some eyelashes and she will be desirable to men. Why do black women feel like Eurocentric beauty classifies you as more desirable, than simply being an ordinary bw with natural hair and little to no makeup. We also can’t talk about black beauty without referencing the difference between being “hood pretty” and just an ordinary pretty a black woman. To be hood pretty you have to be curvy (preferably slim thick), makeup always on 10, long BONE straight hair or weave, and outspoken- think JT or Nicki Minaj. Most black folks prefer the first one, but don’t realize how extremely unrealistic it is to look that way all the time. I love being an ordinary bw, even tho it separate me from the collective of blk ppl; because ITs me, and nobody else can be me. Ordinary black women, there is nothing wrong with being ordinary!!!
@michelleannor6944 2 жыл бұрын
*Controversial take in terms of beauty/ attractiveness.* Firstly women have value outside their looks eg intelligence, kindness, ingenuity, talent, strength, creativity, sense of humour etc. However I'm discussing looks / beauty/ desire here. No matter how much other women say X is pretty, women's opinions have less value than a man (unless you are a lesbian). If you are a straight women and only women say youre attractive, it won't help you be romantically happy. Black women's beauty gets praised 80% by....other black women. Not even as much by black men. Secondly surely if men don't desire you then a woman's attractiveness has to be questioned? Even in many majority black African countries, as soon as a young fairly attractive blonde women appears, all bets are off....You can't use the Eurocentric beauty standards excuse as in Jamaica middle aged white women attract more (young) men than local black women.
@AdeolaAsh 2 жыл бұрын
Eyelashes aren’t Eurocentric
@shaytaylormade5244 2 жыл бұрын
Facts
@witchplease9695 2 жыл бұрын
@@michelleannor6944 Based on your comment history, you’re obsessed with going on Black women’s videos, giving condescending “advice” and putting down Black women. Are you even a Black woman or a bigot with a fetish?
@Girlintheewild 2 жыл бұрын
@@AdeolaAsh I think they are. We are mimicking a look that a lot of black women don’t naturally have. Most black women I see have stubby short lashes naturally & curly ones.. I don’t think we are the only ones who are mimicking a look.
@brittmm18 Жыл бұрын
this video touches me so much, as someone who falls way below the normal black standards of beauty (or beauty in general). My skin is sensitive so I do not wear any makeup at all, I'm slim with little to no curves, my dad's features are more prominent on my face than my mothers and because of the jobs I've had most of my life, I never felt the need or had the chance to really dress up or look nice. I've had LOTS of people pressure me, bash me, unfriend me, and even turn on me all because I don't look ✨black✨ or have the black magic I'm suppose to already have. Honestly it can be draining, especially when you are the one driving the self esteem/self confidence car with no one shot gunning beside you or being your support (not saying its mandatory) but dang, sometimes I feel like a true cast out. Because I am a plain Jane, or considered to be one it makes it so hard for social acceptance and even to have real female friends without the competition or put down for being the friend who doesn't measure up or can't pull anyone🤷🏿♀️
@thestoryofrose 2 жыл бұрын
I just came across your channel after watching Khadija Mbowe, you ladies are amazing. You have a new subscriber all the way from Cape Town South Africa.
@surlyqbear1707 2 жыл бұрын
I’m surprised you didn’t mention Ari’s nose! She was mocked endlessly for her “Black” nose and she addressed it a few times.
@missmaam3765 2 жыл бұрын
Jt as well, she ended up getting a nose job
@romydamons9351 2 жыл бұрын
Then she went and did a song with fricken Queen Naija who is a colourist.
@kims9769 2 жыл бұрын
@@missmaam3765 wait are you sure you’re not talking abt summer walker?
@Ncommon 2 жыл бұрын
@@missmaam3765 doesn’t look like a nose job tbh. Not sure what y’all on but it looks the same before and after but oki.
@Tink-uj4ic 2 жыл бұрын
@@missmaam3765 lies . No she didn’t that was summer walker.
@ladybird491 2 жыл бұрын
I am a black woman, and everything about me is big, big lips, big ears, big hair, big...etc and big legs and if people don't like it then they can kiss my butt.
@lochofmceo 2 жыл бұрын
Lol sure
@Togomei 2 жыл бұрын
I'd kiss it but im just thirsty like that.
@kountessalexander 2 жыл бұрын
Yesssssss!!
@earlem9771 2 жыл бұрын
Have fun with your medical bills
@feitraspace4801 2 жыл бұрын
Can i see
@MackARoniNoCheese 2 жыл бұрын
Clapping 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 all over the place, straight facts. I’m new to your channel and I love you already. I’m happy you brought this up, I’m a Stan for everything black, we’re in this together.
Shanspeare
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