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BloodRayne - Phelous
Рет қаралды 162,795
Күн бұрынCan't anyone wake themselves up to act in this Uwe Boll masterpiece?
phelous.com
/ phelous
Originally Released: July 1, 2012
@MaggieOffutt 9 жыл бұрын
Lets take a moment of silence for the actors who fell in the evil Uwe Bowl clutches. Thanks and now back to your lives
@jameswormsley460 8 жыл бұрын
+Maggie Offutt indeed.
@demitriuscovington370 7 жыл бұрын
I feel like these movies are the reason Bloodrayne never got anymore true video game sequels
@daniboy4153 4 жыл бұрын
Or why the games don't get any recognition anymore
@1Hol1Tiger 3 жыл бұрын
Pretty much, the franchise was a big sleeper hit and it seemed it was destined for bigger and better things... until Uwe Boll made it a joke
@dereknight861 2 жыл бұрын
SHES BACK! a new entry and both games getting re-released.
@greek1237 2 жыл бұрын
@@dereknight861 On the Switch lol.
@davidspring4003 8 жыл бұрын
you know what they say, "a Meat Loaf Aday keeps the Uwe Bowl away."
@robjackson4050 8 жыл бұрын
I See What You Did There
@whatiftherewasanun 7 жыл бұрын
But Uwe Boll was in this
@davidspring4003 7 жыл бұрын
Benjamin Johnson I guess I'm all wet. That means...I WAS EXPECTED! Bet you weren't expecting that! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
@jayryman5310 7 жыл бұрын
Not for this film, it didn't!
@RichardWatt 7 жыл бұрын
But that means you're completely useless now.
@lizzychrome7630 7 жыл бұрын
That "Twilight" slap is one of the greatest moments in Phelous history. Holy god.
@Fubukio 7 жыл бұрын
No matter how much more effort (or less effort) Phelous puts into trying, he absolutely can't even get close to being as disinterested as Michael Madsen while being stabbed.
@jonathanwarrdddedcxddeecec4787 4 ай бұрын
Honestly, it’s kinda impressive
@JohnSmith-cl7gi 7 жыл бұрын
Phelan deserves a lot more credit than he gets
@Nestalgba92023 7 жыл бұрын
John Smith And subscribers.
@smalltiny 8 жыл бұрын
her voice is so raspy that when she tried to yell that made my eyes water
@PassTheMarmalade1957 8 жыл бұрын
THEY MADE THREE OF THESE?!
@jameswormsley460 8 жыл бұрын
lol yea!!
@jeroenvanwees3250 8 жыл бұрын
Four, if you count Bluberella! Ughh...
@jameswormsley460 8 жыл бұрын
Jeroen van Wees oh-nooo!!! yikes!!!
@ReptilianTeaDrinker 6 жыл бұрын
The third one was okay though, cause of that one lesbian sex scene. LOL That was hot.
@jakublulek3261 5 жыл бұрын
Third one have Clint Howard as Nazi doctor in it.
@ken131 8 жыл бұрын
Horse saddles are expensive as hell, so if Phelous has one, that means he knows a real horse! Probably. Or likes horseplay.
@BlueRoseFaery 7 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I was thinking. Or borrowed one from a friend who does.
@LadyCoyKoi 6 жыл бұрын
More like foreplay, kinky Phelous.
@mitchfletcher2386 6 жыл бұрын
ken131 Or HORSING AROUND!
@ReptilianTeaDrinker 6 жыл бұрын
Quit horsing around!
@DrRockso79 9 жыл бұрын
Ahh, Uwe Boll: The Jaws 4 of directors.
@ReptilianTeaDrinker 6 жыл бұрын
We do not speak of that! D:
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 4 жыл бұрын
Roaring shark intensifies.
@sdm47 3 жыл бұрын
That’s not being fair to Jaws 4
@Account_Not_Applicable 5 жыл бұрын
Hey, the animated Castlevania series on Netflix had a happy union between a vampire and a human. They even spawned a kid together. Hell, the vampire damned mankind as revenge for his wife being burned alive. Now THAT'S true love.
@URFTBOUND4LIFE 4 жыл бұрын
That's not exactly a happy union if your wife is murdered...
@chiarabutteri4293 4 жыл бұрын
@@URFTBOUND4LIFE it is happy cause at least they really loved each other.
@policesquad 2 жыл бұрын
RIP Meat Loaf Aday. They say he passed away wearing his bestest Madsen Face.
@Veritech2011 4 жыл бұрын
According to Guinevere Turner the screenwriter of the BloodRayne movie this was only the first draft of the screenplay. Soon after Boll began production Turner received a call from the producer telling her that there was some changes made by Boll and some of the actors take a crack at the screenplay only 20% of what Turner wrote made it into the film.
@candiddirt 3 жыл бұрын
Madsen getting stabbed has the same energy I had when the Diablo developers announced a mobile title.
@umeducated 2 жыл бұрын
This sounds like an out of season April Fools joke.
@davidspring4003 5 күн бұрын
...do you not have a phone? (sarcasm)
@talynhastime9343 6 жыл бұрын
I love that little grumpy Dracula Phelous in the corner.
@realitysfrank1695 8 жыл бұрын
now be fair, Phelous, if Christana Lokken could deliver an emotional performance she wouldn't have been cast as the 3rd Terminator
@Crazy56U 8 жыл бұрын
+Frank Rivet You _do_ realize that isn't a good defense, right?
@realitysfrank1695 8 жыл бұрын
+Crazy56U yeah, you're right. and at least she's better than Kirsten Stewart, although that's a pretty low bar to reach
@LannaDru 7 жыл бұрын
If anything, she emoted too much in T3. Remember the scene of TX moaning after licking John's bloody bandage?
@jsb8261 6 жыл бұрын
Video Game adaptations shouldn't be hard to do. Why do we keep getting stuff like this?
@AmaryInkawult 6 жыл бұрын
JSB because the people that make these movies either A) Never played the game and only had the box art to get an idea of how it is. B) they only played an hour's worth of the game and believed it was enough for a whole movie. C) played the game but felt they could stroke their own ego by being "original" while borrowing a few elements from the game.
@daniboy4153 4 жыл бұрын
Uwe Boll just doesn't do movies right. He doesn't accept it's his fault his movies suck, he just blames others.
@bloodrunsclear 2 жыл бұрын
RIP Meat Loaf You were the best in practically every movie you were in
@konstance13 8 жыл бұрын
Every single man's hair in this movie looks insanely bad.
@anikmonette2140 6 жыл бұрын
Konstance Miles Everything looks cheap to me, including the film they shot this movie on... 😚
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 4 жыл бұрын
Kingsley's henchman has the worst haircut.
@RadNat 9 жыл бұрын
Why does the water burn her boots as well? Does she have to buy special vampire clothes that have all the same weaknesses as her?
@LannaDru 9 жыл бұрын
TurboRadDude Technically, that happened in the game, as well (bad collision detection), so it must be another detail Boll meticulously copied into the film.
@RadNat 9 жыл бұрын
LannaDru Oh yea, I get it. Water killing you in video games is just an easy way to set limitations. I'm willing to accept that water hurts vampires in this universe, because vampires aren't real and you can make up whatever lore you want. Where my problem lies, is the fact that it appears to burn her boots as well, as if her clothes are also hurt by water
@LannaDru 9 жыл бұрын
TurboRadDude One of the few things the movie and the games share, and it had to be one of the dumbest.
@AmaryInkawult 6 жыл бұрын
It would have made sense if the burning only burned vampire flesh that continue to burn due to the clothes and boots holding in excess water while remaining simply wet like normal clothes. But clearly this logic flew over the director's head.
@indy6s 4 жыл бұрын
Maybe she made her shoes out of a vampire she killed?
@purplbug 9 жыл бұрын
I thought that Uwe Boll getup at the end was Doug Walker for a second there.
@ripleyjlawman.3162 5 жыл бұрын
I’d ask for the difference, but we both know that’s not possible.
@masterimaginariumdooblepop7592 9 жыл бұрын
A Meatloaf Aday keeps the doctor away! Sorry...
@98953812 6 жыл бұрын
Master Imaginariumdooblepopper I would do anything for Boll, but I will not act!
@Mr4thDoctor 8 жыл бұрын
You know, I actually prefer this review over the Nostalgia Critic's review. This one is more funny.
@daydreambeliever3127 5 жыл бұрын
I dunno...there's just something about Linkara playing Michael Madsen that gets me laughing every single time.
@onyxxdrako4648 5 жыл бұрын
I think Phelan is better generally
@ArbiterofTruth 4 жыл бұрын
I liked that version.
@gracekim25 2 жыл бұрын
@@onyxxdrako4648 well of course 😜😎
@BlackBeWhite2k7 9 жыл бұрын
I just feel embarrassed for every actor in this
@SpeedyEric1 9 жыл бұрын
BlackBeWhite2k7 I actually liked Kristanna Loken as the T-X in Terminator 3.
@BlackBeWhite2k7 9 жыл бұрын
SpeedyEric1 I meant I feel embarrassed for them because they were dragged into THIS movie...everyone who was cast into this POS can do better, even Meat Loaf
@SpeedyEric1 9 жыл бұрын
BlackBeWhite2k7 That's true.
@SpeedyEric1 9 жыл бұрын
***** It's okay to like something that other people don't.
@jasonbourne2084 8 жыл бұрын
OMG!!! It is her!
@spideyfan1990 9 жыл бұрын
Thank you Phelan. I have wanted to watch this video for over a year, but the blip version wouldn't work.
@Ashethetics 6 жыл бұрын
The hoof noises just sound like two coconuts being banged together hahaha
@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 5 жыл бұрын
And unless its Monty python and the holy grail that is cheap and stupid af
@gracekim25 2 жыл бұрын
@@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 but that is an ACTUAL comedy
@DoReMi123acb 5 жыл бұрын
Those horses were the most expensive and best actors in this movie. Also, when I saw this movie on dvd as a kid, the sex scene was soooooo upsetting to me.
@yuriismywaifu203 7 жыл бұрын
A vampire got wet, it's completely useless now. HEEEEEEEE!
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 4 жыл бұрын
Cute profile. But i think Natsuki is the best waifu.
@adeer87 2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, I must inform you that Sayori is best girl.
@kaprelesartware 5 жыл бұрын
19:58 The Madsen Face clearly says "Okay, I did my scenes. Can I get my paycheck now?"
@sharonpereira4501 7 жыл бұрын
A apple away keeps the doctors away.
@lynngreen7978 9 жыл бұрын
Can she go back to Conquest-land? Can we go there instead of watching Uwe Boll?
@Alucard-A-La-Carte 3 жыл бұрын
I buy Neil Breen couldn't believe his friend committed suicide more than I believe Michael Madsen was being stabbed there.
@angeles10014 6 жыл бұрын
There was a happy vampire human couple in Castlevania
@MrXemrox 5 жыл бұрын
Me before watching: A movie review. Me during the starting: Oh, cool a game review. Me when the movie is brought up: Oh, a movie review, I was right the first time. Still cool.
@johnnyzero8853 5 жыл бұрын
I miss the Bloodrayne games
@JW666 4 жыл бұрын
18:38 Wow, Ben Kingsley really didn't want to be there that day the way he speaks his lines very fast and did not even bother acting or having any emotion while doing it, lol! =P
@ssjup81 4 жыл бұрын
As far as I know he did all his scenes in one day because they could only afford him for one day. That's probably why he seems like he doesn't want to be there.
@nikkijenkins3415 8 жыл бұрын
Blizzard refuse to let Uwe Boll to film the live action World of Warcraft
@mariancovei5435 8 жыл бұрын
And Blizzard did a smart thing
@nikkijenkins3415 8 жыл бұрын
+Marian Covei World of Warcraft is way too awesome to be film by this lazy ass director.
@Bartoc1988 7 жыл бұрын
Looking back at the movie it could have been a Uwe Boll flick
@gratuitouslurking8610 7 жыл бұрын
Heard mixed things about the Warcraft movies, but no matter what Blizzard funding it themselves at least kept it average at best, instead of Boll turning it into shit.
@ReptilianTeaDrinker 6 жыл бұрын
Yeah, Blizzard made a good decision, not letting that idiot direct their film.
@openpelican 6 жыл бұрын
Hey I found the wig they dyed and used for the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic 4 reboot. I guess Phelous had it first and used it on his other character for this episode. Oh Hollywood...
@leon30517 6 жыл бұрын
Chris topher Earthbound duck?
@RaphBlade7 Жыл бұрын
Well there is Dracula & Alucard's mom from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, as Dracula loved her so much that he developed a strong hatred for humanity after she was burned at the stake by humans after being mistaken for a witch! Mind you Alucard fights against his father in accordance to his mother's dying wish that he not hate the humans for killing her!
@WinterSteele 9 жыл бұрын
The wigs in this movie are some of the shittiest I've seen in a long time. Did the costume department raid a Walmart Halloween display or something?
@jameswormsley460 8 жыл бұрын
+Winter Steele They might have done that,who knows.
@ZION73082 4 жыл бұрын
That would give Walmart too much credit this was a 98 cent store in Romania at best
@averagegamecritic 8 жыл бұрын
I think she's bad capture luck. She probably hangs around Peach too
@averagegamecritic 8 жыл бұрын
Phelous, he might think she hid the heart, not absorbed it, but probably not.
@goufr3540 9 жыл бұрын
It really is sad when a SyFy movie or MK Konquest have more effort put in by the cast than anything I have seen by Uwe Boll. Come to think about it, SIRO THE GREATEST MORTAL KOMBAT KHARACTER EVER could have greatly improved any Uwe Boll movie, as long as he isnt as drunk as the rest of the cast.
@MrDman21 8 жыл бұрын
Neil Breen, James Nguyen, and Uwe Boll in a deathmatch, who wins?
@8Dataman8 8 жыл бұрын
Tommy Wiseau.
@goufr3540 8 жыл бұрын
50's McCheerios.
@segwayman196 8 жыл бұрын
Probably Boll cause he actually knows boxing.
@TheKML777 8 жыл бұрын
Whoever wins, we freakin' lose.
@Undamagedaddyk 8 жыл бұрын
That's an unfair comparison. Breen and Nguyen at least give a shit about their movies.
@eareimaj 9 жыл бұрын
I saw this movie in theatres. I need to watch it with Uwe Boll's audio commentary.
@Troglodyte98 7 жыл бұрын
Joseph Hall it most likely consists of Boll laughing at and insulting the audience for being dumb enough to watch this movie.
@mechaman7818 2 жыл бұрын
Why do Vampires always bite people in super obvious places? If you wanted to create an army and hide the marks, bite them on the inside of their ass cheeks or something. Even if they get naked, unless they're being cavity searched nobody would see it. Plus you could make a really hilarious ritual about it. Even get a silly name, like the Butt Biters. Imagine the Order of the Pug, but Vampires who bite people on the ass.
@Neb30925 8 жыл бұрын
Great video! So funny.
@sabreena5611 7 жыл бұрын
The one in Hotel Transylvania.
@yukiskyzero1313 6 жыл бұрын
I have watched this once. xD But now I just recently watched your reviews for Mortal Kombat: Conquest, now realizing that Rayne is Taja, I had to rewatched it again haha. xD
@aii5748 6 жыл бұрын
Madsen face 😆 At least the movie gave us that. LOL
@jsb8261 6 жыл бұрын
Wait... wouldn't the character called Rayne be the main character of Bloodrayne?
@1sttobylopez 7 жыл бұрын
Ben kingsley's roll was shot all in one day. he's in the movie so little because they couldn't afford to pay him for more than that. it's a complete wreck cuz they try to make the rest of the movie around that and if there was any changes they can't call him back for a retake. prove me wrong
@gRinchY-op5vr 4 жыл бұрын
He was in that much of a rush to get out of there and recieve his measly cheque he practically speed reads his lines in this film
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 4 жыл бұрын
Raziel became immune to water after absorbing Rahab's soul. That's less stupid than the eye in this flick.
@Parasiteve 6 жыл бұрын
i still remember a cheat from bloodrayne 2: wantthisdarkrealitytaintqueef. yeah i love the games a lot lol. when i first saw the movies i was sooo pissed they were garbage. if i remember right bloodrayne was based on a character in another game, the main character was the stranger and you were in specre or some shit, im mad i forgot the name of that game but rayne was in it, sadly the game series didn't continue even though we got a cliffhanger for a sequel. one of the characters from the game was in a blair witch game or two as well, i really liked the graphics they used too.
@icewar7310 5 жыл бұрын
The game you are talking about is Nocturne and Rayne was based on Svetlana Popescu from the same series.
@grog1073 7 жыл бұрын
It just occured to me that a goddamn puddle might have been a better protection for the eye than those blades...
@mr.gunzaku437 4 жыл бұрын
Uwe Boll's movies are always a chore to watch. They aren't even fun to watch ironically.
@Ravenite456 5 жыл бұрын
I have to know, what deal with the devil has Uwe Boll made to keep getting actual actors to work for him?
@gantzisballs 8 жыл бұрын
Well...at least it was slightly better than the Twilight movies.
@FuugaNatsu 8 жыл бұрын
At least with Twilight it's because the source material is shit, though - here, the universe of the game could actually be interesting to explore in a movie, but NOPE! Screw that, that'd take actual EFFORT.
@lnfreeman 7 жыл бұрын
gantzisballs and also, at least twilight had a good soundtrack
@tumulovermelho93 3 жыл бұрын
BloodRayne 2 is an underrated action game. It deserved better than this. :/
@hanster8610 6 жыл бұрын
I live for the outro song
@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 5 жыл бұрын
Running water is actually a weakness of vampires
@calliecorn 5 жыл бұрын
8:53 *"HOTEL TRANSYLVANI-"* * Slapped *
@kingofthegundam7974 7 жыл бұрын
Why is Rayne such a wimp in these movies?
@thundertits 5 жыл бұрын
Zis is the perfect symbiosis between movie and videogame
@Gorvar100 9 жыл бұрын
Happy vampire-human couples....didnt Alucard have a human girlfriend?
@Gorvar100 9 жыл бұрын
***** I think he did, was in one of the later Castlevania's.
@Gat720Dua 9 жыл бұрын
Gorvar the Dinoman Castlevania Alucard or Hellsing Alucard?
@Gorvar100 9 жыл бұрын
Gat720Dua I never saw Hellsing sadly, I meant Castlevania one. Might not have been canon tho..
@Gat720Dua 9 жыл бұрын
Gorvar the Dinoman I was just curious which one you were talking about, cause Alucard is a pretty common name. As for Castlevania Alucard it's open for interpretation, he could have a girlfriend or maybe he didn't.
@Gorvar100 9 жыл бұрын
I kinda forgot bout hellsing's Alucard, my bad :)
@LaDracul 9 жыл бұрын
Sir Ben Kingsley (Along with Jon Voight) has his own personal "WOO HOO!/D'OH!" cycle...he makes a good film, then a bad one. This qualifies as a "D'OH". Also, we all know Bella gets sired to save her life after a rough childbirth (Although she WANTED to turn despite Edward's misgivings), so that doesn't entirely count as a happy vampire/human union...
@jostockton. 4 жыл бұрын
Cartoon Vampire Phelous is so cute.
@giuseppeianniello1998 5 жыл бұрын
Oscar winner Ben Kingsley in an Uwe Boll movie?!?!? And to think he followed that up with The Love Guru and Razzie nominations
@JJewlz420 Жыл бұрын
I'm 8 years late to the party but i always thought lara corft was the first video game female in playboy... lmfao good to know, i got my facts str8 now
@RichardWatt 7 жыл бұрын
Ultimate Vampire Power: it turns you into Theresa May.
@EasyGrilling101 Жыл бұрын
How did vampire's who's weakness is water stay alive on rainy days in medieval times...? It's not like they had excellent leak protection during those days, let alone never touch a damp wall or floor in a castle. I'm curious if the group of hunters could have just been soaked everywhere they went as a defense.....? What degree of vulnerability did they have in this movie and/or game....? Anyone know....?
@marcherwitch9811 Жыл бұрын
years later and i still hate that "i would sooner rot inyour dungeon than sit at your table" is such a good line in such a bad movie...
@LadyCoyKoi 6 жыл бұрын
The real case of an actual happy union between vampire and human can be seen in "Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust" between Charlotte and Baron Meier Link.
@rogerskitt1542 7 жыл бұрын
meat load over Ben Kingsley? ! no one else is blown away lol. this was way before his iron man 3 days hahaha
@Sonichero151 5 жыл бұрын
I thinkk the monks were banking on any vampire getting the eye to be too stupid to understand what it does and just dying.
@DarkseidJoshua 2 жыл бұрын
RIP Meatloaf
@jiggerman2289 8 жыл бұрын
Kanye West And Kim Kardashian. Oh, wait they're both vampires
@Stressedout-Warrior-Mama 6 жыл бұрын
You know what isn't cool in vampire movies? Boring old men talking politics. Youd think filmmakers would have learned that from the star wars prequels
@MrZerothejedi 5 жыл бұрын
Oh come on which of us WOULDNT use the Day Heart to meet our Vampire father? Granted... most of us would probably do it in the DAY after USING the heart.
@MiXVoy 9 жыл бұрын
12:18-12:24, "Gore, Gore, GOOOOOOORE! Gore. Good Movie, right?"
@SpeedyEric1 9 жыл бұрын
Michael Bolisay Hahaha, BRILLIANT.
@Dim4323 2 жыл бұрын
Also linkara did made a error, Show that vampire can really get hurt by water. Yeah Water is like Acid to vampires one drop can kill them
@christinawilkephillips7684 9 жыл бұрын
uva's big scene,.....somebody get that guy an Oscar!.... and a history book, theirs no wrist watches!
@Yukinoomoni 3 жыл бұрын
Truly, Billy Zane is the best of this movie.
@andreasnickmann370 2 жыл бұрын
A wet vampire is completely useless now.
@Dim4323 2 жыл бұрын
Their need to be a bloodrayne reboot, or animated series
@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 5 жыл бұрын
The eye of Baliar was a pain in the ass to get to and it's even more of a pain in the ass to watch that scene with a stupid water trap
@alleclypseuprising87 6 жыл бұрын
I Freaking ❤️ Phelous!!!! I Cannot Stop Laughing
@emperortrevornorton3119 3 жыл бұрын
You know why I enjoy this movie is drunk drunk performance from Michael Madsen
@GabyGeorge1996 8 жыл бұрын
What's the "Toasty" sound bite at 0:52 from? I keep hearing it in other vids
@clark9158 8 жыл бұрын
mortal kombat
@regiman222 8 жыл бұрын
8:49 You mention Twilight I break every bone in your body
@regiman222 8 жыл бұрын
+Lonly Wanderer 8:54 Damn it Phelous
@kingti85 8 жыл бұрын
Wow!! You typed out that timestamp and message and sent it off within 5 seconds? Before he ever said Twilight? DAS AMAZEYING!!1!11 Stupid.
@Hauptseite 6 жыл бұрын
Alternative theory: He paused the video................... MAH GAWD!!!
@ReptilianTeaDrinker 6 жыл бұрын
LightlySaltedNuts He paused the video, you fucking idiot.
@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 5 жыл бұрын
Missed opportunity to not use "what a twist" m night shyamalan thing from robot chicken
@yosoyringodesanantonio8405 2 жыл бұрын
REST IN PEACE Meat Loaf
@Ziggun 9 жыл бұрын
Wow. Uwe Boll created two accounts just to downvote this video.
@omnimonramone8459 4 жыл бұрын
My mom likes this movie. I guess it's not the worst movie to choose from.
@torquetheprisoner 2 жыл бұрын
postal,rampage and seed are good uwe bowl "movies"
@Namorat 7 жыл бұрын
Are you sure he doesnt say 'give me the heart and I will let you live'?
@OldSchoolCurt 2 жыл бұрын
Those script cheat codes are just not fair!
@Chris-ci8vs 6 жыл бұрын
How the fuck did Sir Ben get roped into this?
@jenselinsky6734 3 жыл бұрын
"His name is Robert Paulsen!" LOL
@alleclypseuprising87 5 жыл бұрын
20:56 why did this seem like a mortal kombat annihlation moment when liu kang and shao khan were about to fight after the elder gods said something pointless lol
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